Simple Divorce Advice

Should I give my marriage one last chance? 1

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When you told your spouse that you wanted a divorce, were they shocked? I find that men are often shocked to find out that their wife wants a divorce. Its then that they start to make changes, sometimes substantial changes in their lifestyle, attitude, or behaviour, in order to save the marriage. Wives tend to feel angry at this point. It shouldnt have to come to this! I shouldnt have to file for divorce in order to get him to change! The changes hes making are not sincere. Hell eventually go back to his old ways and I will have wasted more time and caused more stress for the family. Im ready to move on with my life, its too late. I love him, but Im not in love with him, and thats not going to change.

Actually, theres nothing wrong with giving him or the marriage one last chance. So long as a few conditions are met which Ill get to later. Although this post is written from a womens perspective, most of these conditions can certainly apply to men.

Women ecognize h no h o ce

he es lo

s ke wi h divo ce,

men don , bu women h ve o be mo e sensi ive in issues like fin nci l secu i y nd p en ing.

Most courts in our society seem to expect women to raise the kids; in fact, most men (and parents and siblings, etc) might find a woman repulsive if they did not fight for residential custody. However, some researchers see women earning up to 70% less income after divorce than when they were married. This is quite a dilemma to be in: pressure to be the sole provider, but expected to do it with much less income. Why are you getting divorced? Some issues like substance abuse/addiction and violence can cause so much damage that reconciliation is out of the question. Violence has no place in a relationship. Fear of your spouse will prevent you from being able to feel love towards him, but then again, I have known women who feel intense love for their abusive spouse; this is where feelings can be misleading; for example, the bonding hormone, Oxytocin may create a false of
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attachment and cloud judgment. This post is not for women who are divorcing due to the violence or substance abuse problems of their spouse. Why do people ge m ied in he fi s pl ce?

I usu lly sk couples, If 50% of pl nes c shed, would you s ill fly? Most everyone says, No! Yet, nearly 50% of first marriages end in divorce and people still get married. Why? Let me ask the question this way, If 50% of planes crashed, would you still fly if you were a pilot? In this case, everyone has said, Yes! The obvious reason is that if youre the pilot, youre in control of the plane. The problem with marriage is that youre not the only pilot. You have a co-pilot that you have no control over. That is why youre getting divorced. You couldnt change your spouse and they couldnt change you, or, you wouldnt change for your spouse, or, they wouldnt change for you. So, now youre getting divorced and your spouse wants one more chance. This isn fo people who feel ce in h hey should end i .

This is fo people who h ve mbiv lence bou ending i (Ye , jus bec use we feel ce indic e h in bou ny hing doesn in y).

we e co ec in ou ce

To start with, did you ever make a detailed list of the potential pros and cons of divorce versus staying married? Did you weight each point on the list and then add up the points to see which option has more value? If not, I suggest you start there and see what you come up with. Under the option of staying married, you have to base that on the condition that your spouse now says theyre willing to change, or that they are now making changes. One important thing to consider, in this situation, is how much risk is there for you if you give your spouse one more chance? Aside from not feeling like it, do you feel that you have the time to spend on the relationship? Do you have anything significant to lose by trying one more time? You h ve o be willing o give one l s ch nce wholeheartedly. Bu , h doesn me n doing hings h you e no e dy o do, like sleeping wi h him.

This article was brought to you by Scott Costello http://www.simpledivorceadvice.com

Simple Divorce Advice

Should I give my marriage one last chance? 1

Check out the link below to visit our website:

http://www.simpledivorceadvice.com

This article was brought to you by Scott Costello http://www.simpledivorceadvice.com