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Ring the Alarm: The Hope of Our Community is in Our Babies

A Zero to Five Parenting Guide for Low-Income Black and Latino Caregivers Nikolai Pizarro

First Edition Front Cover illustration by Brandon Gines Copyright 2010 by Nikolai Pizarro

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in retrieval systems or transmitted in any form, by any means, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the publisher. Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents Acknowledgments Introduction<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<1 Part I Ring the Alarm!...........................................................................................................12 Lets Lay the Foundation<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<................30 The Four Horsemen<<<<<<<<<<<<<<...<<<<<<<<<<.44 Timing is Everything & Hear from the Experts<<<<<<<<<<<<......51 Part II Five Steps to Success<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<...<<<<<<<<<83 The Wrong Things<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<...89 The Right Things<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<...<<<<<<<105 More from the Experts Part III Prenatal Care<<<<<<<<...<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<...141 Feeding Your Baby<<<<<<<<...<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<.148 Environment<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<...156 Emotions & Attachment Development<<...<<<<<<<<<<<<<...165 Language Development<<<<<<<<<...<<<<<<<<<<<<<170 Everyday Math Connections<<<<<<<<<<...<<<<<<<<<<189 Science & Nature<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<...<<<<<<<<<<183 World & Culture<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<186 Character<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<.187 Art<<<<<<<<<<<<<..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<..191 Movement<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<...194 Art, Music, & Book Libraries in Every Home<<<...<<<<<<<<<<198 Final Thoughts<<<<<...<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<206 Free Online Resources<<...<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<...208 Bonus Kinder-Readiness Guide<<<<<...<<<<<<<<<<<<<...210

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Acknowledgements
A single mom cant go out and do this work much less buckle down, research, and create without people to support her. It really does take a village. My mother, brother, and sister-in-law are my village.

I am so grateful for the series of people and events that have made this book, and more importantly, my vision possible.

I could never thank field professionals like Wendy Young and Linda Hahner enough. They graciously answered my questions early on and encouraged me to write this book. I dont think they will ever understand how instrumental they were in my process.

Twitter-strangers-turned-friends like Michael Josefowicz and Anderson Fils-Aime, who read my choppy first draft as long as a year ago and said, you have something, keep going are as responsible for this book as I am. They gave me wings.

My sister Dr. Adia Winfrey has breathed life into me and this project almost daily for a year. She is an amazing mother of four with a loud voice for our youth and community. Her model works: put your children first and love your community as much as you love your children. I hope that my work makes her as proud of me as I am of her.

Of course, I thank you Louis. You have given me the greatest gift of my life, our son, my healing. Nicholas is everything to me. Therefore, you are everything to me.

To Linda, baby wherever you are, I hope someday you read this and know before Nicholas I was already a mother. There isnt a day that I dont think and pray for you and my grandbaby. You are written on every page of this book. I wrote this book for you.

Of course, I have to acknowledge my prince, Nicholas and every person, event, and force that conspired with God to grant me such a wonderful gift. Thank you for teaching me everything I know about myself and what is important in life baby. I live to make you proud.

Finally, I salute every mother, father, and caregiver out here, reading this book, looking for a better way. I love you. I appreciate you. I believe in you. So much so, that I now live for you and your babies. I cannot wait to build with you. You make me so proud.

Introduction
There are thousands of baby parenting books in print, another thousand programs. None like this one. Ive looked. For one, parenting books and programs arent written or created for poor black and Latino mothers. This one is. Realistically, they are written and created for middle income and wealthy, predominantly, white moms.

A parenting book written specifically for low income black and Latino parents and caregivers? Why would you write that? Some have asked. More importantly, who would read it?

For starters, low income, poor, hood, welfare, urban, and ghetto are not hypothetical places or an abstract reality. Its real life. And, the mothers, mommas, mamas, madres, teen moms, grand mommas, abuelas, god mommas, madrinas, tias, titis, aunts, aunties, sisters, cousins, primas, hermanas, and, yes, dads, fathers, and daddies, that live there arent case study caregivers and parents, they are also real people. Children from low income households are not those children, at least not to me. Yet, often, in the world of parenting and early education books and programs, this arms length disconnection with poverty is present. I have always been uncomfortable with that.

Granted, in a world of developing babies, many things are Universal, but our conditions are different. Our pain is different. Our worry is different. Our history is different. Our babies odds are different. The schools they will go to are different. What things our children will face and endure are different.

If the conditions are different, why should the books be the same? How could a parenting book help a mother meet the
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needs of her baby, if it dismisses her experience as the mother and the community she is a part of?

This is why this book, or rather this movement, is different. It is about babies. And it is about parenting. But, at its core, its about addressing our pain, empowering our caregivers, and in the process changing our destiny.

Our Pain Ask any black or Latino person and they will tell you, our collective community is in crisis. We are poorer, sicker, and less hopeful than ever. Though our situation in this country has always been a story of struggle for the last three decades that struggle has reached new lows. In this very moment, there are people across the country wondering, how do we make sense of this experience and how do we begin to fix problems that taunt us? When does it end? How do we break free?

We have a men problem. We have a women problem. We have a boy problem. A girl problem. A school problem. A job problem. A health problem. A housing problem. A credit problem. A literacy problem. The list is long. Where do we start?

I cant give you a simple solution. There isnt one. But as it often turns out, sometimes its best to start at the beginning.

Baby-Oriented Solutions What if there was something out there, and there is, scientifically proven to break prison and poverty cycles, wouldnt the people most likely to be imprisoned and impoverished want to know about it? Of course they would.

Believe it or not, this thing is what scientists and academics refer to as Early Childhood Education or Early Brain Development. Early Brain Development teaches us that there is a direct cause and effect relationship between what people experience inside the womb and during the first 5 years of life, and their behaviors and health as adults.

In fact, a lacking foundation the first five years is linked to prison and poverty in many ways. To use a direct example, children who do not have certain pre-literacy experiences before kindergarten, come to school unprepared to learn to read and as a result are rarely able to catch up to reading level. And wouldnt you know that in the United States over 75% of inmates have problems reading!

Additionally, not developing pre-literacy skills the first years shapes the brain of a child and impacts his/her ability to think, communicate, and process information throughout life. Yet most black and Latino mothers and caregivers particularly within the low income community are unaware of the importance of preliteracy experiences. Many dont know what pre-literacy skills look like to begin with!

As previously stated, one of the reasons this information has not made it into our communities is that while low income black and Latino parents may need the information, we dont fit the perfect customer description. Parenting books and programs
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are developed mostly for parents who buy and read books as well as pay for seminars, programs, and educational materials. Business follows money. I understand that. But babies headed towards prison and poverty because their moms dont know a few songs and games? Its tragic.

In a nutshell, the experiences of the first years shape a persons brain, body function, and behavior for life. We can either suppress or release a persons potential by age 5. Not in some hypothetical way either. The body of work and research is well documented. Technology today allows us to look at brains, cells, organ tissue, and DNA in detail. We know the impact of the first years is factual. When we change how we care for pregnant women and babies years 0-5, therefore, we also change what adults and society look like. Perhaps, the solution is the problem.

Too much of the wrong things and too little of the right things during the first five years of life equals higher chances of developing learning disabilities, heart disease and cancer, tendencies towards violence or depression, and other unfortunate side-effects. The instant I got a hold of this knowledge, I understood that most of my community wasnt even aware of this information. I certainly knew Id never heard of it before. But, what exactly are the wrong and right things? Youll find those answers in this book.

While upper middle class and wealthy mothers are now being told to trust their instincts and stop over enriching their babies environment, poor black and Latino mothers, have been left out of the enrichment conversation altogether.

This system has taken our misinformation, lack of knowledge, and history of pain, and categorized it as bad, irresponsible, careless parenting. I know better. Moms and caregivers do what they know to do according to their own experience and the resources they have available. I have yet to meet a mom whose desire is for her baby to fail. It just doesnt work that way.

When it comes to prenatal care and the impact of the first five years, our communities are in the dark. The last thing a pregnant woman eating fast food or arguing with her partner is thinking about is harming the baby inside of her. Learning disabilities are not what the parent giving a toddler a hot dog for breakfast or letting him stay up and watch cartoons is setting out to create. And neither of them is thinking about prison, poverty, or illness. This much I know. It is why Ive created these resources. My desire is to bring us into the parenting conversation, with urgency but no judgment.

This book is designed to be a one stop guide that provides both insightful explanations and clear guidelines for caregivers to follow. In the end, it delivers a parenting experience that is fun, rewarding, and most of all, empowering.

About Me: My Agenda Im not a brain specialist or a behavior therapist or a doctor, so why should you trust me?

For one, my work is based on research. I will quote and link you to the most widely accepted resources in the world and give you every tool you need to verify the information. The subject of the book is not some new theory, it is just new to many of us. Once you get into it, its validity will speak for itself.
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But, me, who am I? Why do I care?

It is fair to say that in some areas of school and business, I have been successful. I received a full scholarship to a top business program at the age of 20, and have a masters in business administration. I would never discount my degrees. They have their merits. However, reality is not lived on the paper and ink of a resume. In its own way, education had always been my ticket out, but it was motherhood, that gave me a ticket in.

I am, by any definition, a single, low income Puerto Rican mom. I was raised by my low income single mom, who was raised by her low income single mom in the projects of Spanish Harlem. I have lived out-of-state, without any family, all of my adult life. My sons father, a black man, is in federal prison. And in three years, both my son and I have moved three times between East St. Louis, IL and Carolina, PR. You can fill the gaps or as I often quote, I have already paid for all my future sins. Technically, my son is an at-risk child; born into an at-risk environment.

My expertise in early brain development, started when I was pregnant, and has grown alongside my sons development. Through him, Ive seen the science work. Before he was even a year old, people would often observe how bright, alert, and independent he was. As a toddler his vocabulary and over all thinking skills always stood out. Before he was 3 he was constructing words with loose letters - he was spelling. By 3, he was sounding out words. He can count, sort, and group. And in spite of his very big emotions and strength has positives ways to channel his feelings. He is focused, loves nature, learning, and cares about people. Not just the people he loves, he cares about others in general. He is observant and above all he is
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happy to the core. Multiple sources, including preschool and Head Start teachers have referred to my sons advancement and potential giftedness. But, my son is not gifted; he is far from a genius.

My son is who he is because he is securely attached, well adjusted, and properly developing. I breastfed him and held him often as an infant. Ive kept a clean organized home and exposed him to range of experiences. I give him nutrients that support and strengthen his brain. I talk to him all the time and always have. Ive done the right things and avoided the wrong ones. As a result, his brain (and body) has responded. He is the result of a mother that knows what to do. There is only one problem: my sons experience should not be the exception. It can and should be the norm.

The fact that I knew anything about enriched environments and early brain development was a stroke of luck. During the first weeks of my pregnancy, through my insurance gap and transition into a clinic that serviced Medicaid patients, I was seen and went through testing through a private doctor in an upscale, elite practice. There I picked up some information, magazines, and recommendations, which changed the course of my life. In that space, brain enrichment, early brain development, nutrition, stress management, exercise, and even school readiness where all over the magazines and handouts. Prenatal vitamins with Omega 3 for brain development were immediately recommended as was adequate sleep, exercise, a balanced diet, and a list of books. There was almost a competitive and urgent feel to the process: strong, smart babies must be created.

Though I received, wonderful friendly care, at what would become my clinic, the information and approach to pre-natal care and parenting was completely different than the private
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office I barely experienced. No one ever mentioned Omega 3 vitamins or brain enrichment, not once. My diet was only talked about relative to weight gain. The objective of that clinic was full term, no surprise birth defects, normal growth, and staying out of the high-risk As an added support, I have group within the developed a FREE internet clinic. Provided those community complete with chat things were in place, rooms, online discussions, everything was videos, and many other features. wonderful. The tools for your child to beat Experiencing the the odds are available. It is up to contrast of the two you, to read, apply yourself, and types of cares, share the information with motivated me to do my others. Together we will make own research, the difference in our childrens following the lives and the future of our guidelines that I was community. first given, at least most of the time.

By the time, I had my baby I was already on my way to being well-versed in early brain development. To my surprise, again, none of my very kind and lovely doctors and nurses, talked about reading to a child, mental health, enriched environments, dangers of television, and so on. Even the occasional handouts about baby games never talked about why they were important. There were no scientific explanations. No magazines to motivate parents. My baby was healthy, had healthy reflexes, and was gaining weight and growing at a healthy rate. Everything was wonderful.

I couldnt help but constantly wonder, Wait, these moms dont know what I know. What if I had never been to that office when

I first got pregnant? Would I really not know any of this? How would have I found out?

There is so much more to pre-natal care and early child development than going full term and monitoring healthy growth! Showing parents and caregivers how to create that right environment for babies early in their years is a real big deal. In my opinion, and that of many scientists, educators and economists, it is the single top priority we have as a nation. But that message is not reaching low income black and Latina moms and caregivers fast enough. Heck, it almost missed me!

Earlier I stated, education was my ticket out but motherhood my ticket in. Growing up, I had always been an exception. I was an effortless over-achiever. While my school experience, scholarships, and career opportunities were my out, they also separated me. Sitting in that clinic, waiting for prenatal care, with other black and Latino expectant moms, every month, on the other hand, married me to my community.

As I waited my turn, I was not my degree. I, along with the other expectant moms, was United States history. Slavery in this country was abolished just 140 years ago and kept alive through sharecropping until 80 years ago. Eighty years! That was just the other day. The Jim Crowe laws that enforced the oppression, beating, and lynching of blacks were in legal effect up to 1965 or 46 years ago. And the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment, which infected rural poor black men with syphilis and resulted in the further infection of their wives and unborn babies was terminated as recent as 1972. If at the time just 35 years prior, a government could infect black men, women, and babies with disease, could I be genuinely surprised that we were not being taught true prenatal care and early brain development? I couldnt.
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Whether I had ever realized it before, the mothers in that waiting area, their babies, my baby, and I all shared a bond. That bond has a name: poor, black, and brown. All of the good intentions in the world, on behalf of doctors, nurses, public workers, and private advocates dont change a countrys history. Pregnant women, their unborn babies, and young children are the most vulnerable recipients of that history. Being preoccupied with the idea of creating a good life for my own son was my ticket to caring for my sisters children and our collective well-being.

When it comes to early childhood and brain development, the clock works against us. There is no time. And we, as a community, cannot afford to live in ignorance. This book and accompanying resources are products of me reading hundreds of books and papers, taking courses, dedicating hours of studies, interviewing professionals, working with moms, and learning through my son. I share them with the same passion that motherhood affords me with my own son.

Think of This as You Read the Book I once heard a woman from South Africa speak on the Ubuntu mindset. She said, If your neighbor is hungry and there is food in your pantry, dont go to bed without giving him a plate. I am what I am because of who we all are. Recognizing that reality is how we have survived.

While, many of us do not know the type of hunger the woman was speaking on, everyday in my community, I see hungry mothers. I see hungry children. They are hungry for the answers that science can give them. Hungry for a way to make it out of the struggle.
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I have found answers. My pantry is full. My efforts are my way of feeding my neighbors, wherever they may live. My only hope is once their own pantry is full, they do the same. Ubuntu.

Community distribution is the HEART of this movement. If we can buy sickness in our community, it is only right that we also be able to purchase the cure with the same ease.

From beauty shops to churches, ask your local businesses and non-profit organizations to carry this book for sale. Become an independent sales agent. Start a parenting group or class using the book as the resource. Suggest your pre-natal or pediatric clinic have complimentary copies in the waiting area. Be creative. Lets flood our communities with solutions.

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Part I
1 Ring the Alarm!
Lets talk about some relationships we know exist in this country: Poverty Mental Illnesses Mental Illness Education Gap Mental Illness *Prison Poverty Learning Disabilities and Education Gap Learning Disabilities and Education Gap Prison Prison Poverty Poverty Physical Illness *Juvenile corrections included in prison population

Poor or low income families are more likely to be sick, have learning disabilities, suffer from mental illness, drop out of school, go to prison, and remain in poverty. A common denominator to all of these is race. 2010 census revealed blacks and Hispanic household incomes are the lowest in of the population. For the purposes of this book, I define: Poverty and low income: Any household that cannot afford private or home school and lives in struggling public school district, receives earned income credit on their tax return, and/or receives any type of government food, health, or financial assistance. Babies: Children under the age of 5, unless otherwise specified.
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Here is a limited snapshot of what some of those relationships look like: 88% of black fourth-grade boys are NOT proficient in reading. The dropout rate for black males in some states is as high as 61%. 75% of state prison inmates and 59% of federal inmates are high-school dropouts o One out of three black women jailed did not complete high school, were unemployed, or had incomes below the poverty level at the time of their arrest. o Hispanic federal inmates have a lower education level than both whites and blacks Black males represent 4% of population yet 30% of prison population. Hispanic men are almost four times as likely to go to prison. Black women make up nearly half of the nations female prison population. Trailing behind are Hispanic women. Hispanic women make up 15% of the state and 32% of the federal prison (female) populations. Black women are 8 times more likely and Hispanic women 4 times more likely to go to prison than white women. Estimates suggest that as many as two million incarcerated men and women suffer from mental health problems.
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Continued In the juvenile justice system, approximately 70% suffer from mental disorders, with 25% experiencing disorders so severe that their ability to function is significantly impaired. Mental health and learning disabilities are displayed through moderate to severe depression, ADHD, bipolarity, anxiety disorders, among others 48-88% of women inmates experienced sexual or physical abuse before coming to prison, and suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder. Blacks die nearly twice as often from hypertension than whites and make up about 30% of patients on dialysis due to kidney failure. Most of you reading this are black or Latino and therefore, these are not just hypothetical facts to you, they are a part of your reality. Now for the good news<most of this can be avoided. The groundwork for mental health, physical health, learning abilities, and school readiness is established the first five years of a childs life, starting in the womb. Research studies have shown that a babys brain begins to develop within the first weeks after conception and certain parts are fully developed during the first two trimesters. During the first 10 months of infancy, the foundation of lifes mental health and overall well being is laid down. At 18 months, language differences in children from wealthy versus low income families are evident. Predispositions
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for physical illness like high blood pressure, or mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression also happen during the first years, starting with the first months. In reality, its not the poverty (lack of income) launching these destructive triggers. Its the environment and experiences that children in poverty have during the first years. I will show you, using scientific fact, that as you change the environment factors and experiences a child has, regardless of socioeconomic levels, you can also maximize the brain and bodys potential for success. You can break destructive cycles. Parents and caregivers dictate the home environment and early experiences of a child. Therefore, in order to change the environment our kids are living in and what our communities look like, it is my belief you must empower parents and caregivers. You have to ring the alarm. Parents need to understand the level of impact that they have on their children and society as a whole. Just as importantly, they have to know how to create a healthy environment. Not teaching low income parents the relationship between the early years and poverty, prison, education gaps, and disease supports their permanency. Alternatively, teaching parents threatens their existence.

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Reality Check

Today, millions of inner city public school students cant read, write, and/or do math at a level that will qualify them to get into or thrive in college; much less the job market. The socioemotional skills of our youth are just as sad. Many of them are discouraged, angry, violent, and hopeless. The same goes for rural schools. In a country, that exports factory and service jobs, whats left for the low literate, low skilled citizen?

Our grandparents and parents factory, government, military, and teaching jobs as an exit out of poverty are long gone. Without a good education, critical thinking and communication skills, the ability to relate to others and build a network, and good mental and physical health, there is no go-to exit strategy. All that is left is poverty, prison, oppression, and disease.

The future, and the present, has opportunities for innovators, service businesses, technology based businesses, culturally relevant products, medicine, law, international business, engineering, and a thing called intellectual property. Short of a miracle, many of our children will never actualize their potential. Without some major intervention, planning, and effort, what you see outside your window is as good as it gets and might not be there long.

Ask yourself: Do I have those skills required of me to succeed? Did my community and school experiences prepare me to have them? If I dont have them myself, and my community and schools arent equipped how will my child receive them? Are the experiences I am creating for my baby giving her the skills and health she will need to succeed? Most likely, the answer to these questions is no. Your child is your hope. Are you willing
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to just sit back and trust that same system that handed you your odds with your hope?

Our problems arent just about reading rates and diplomas either, as I referenced earlier, our communities are sicker, poorer, and suffering from a lack of mental health in record numbers. This system is broken. Broken systems create broken people. Broken people become broken parents. Broken parents rear broken children.

Unless you couple the love you have for your child with the right foundation, that baby you love so much is going to be working with even less than you in a world that will require even more! What are his or her chances? Success or poverty? A career or prison? Health or illness? Earlier, I wrote the phrase without some major intervention, planning, and effort. You are your childs major intervention. The book you are reading is more than printed words on paper. It is your vehicle to improving your childs odds.

The sooner you understand the topics in this book, the sooner you can take steps to implement them. You and your child can beat whatever grim circumstances you face. Once you read this book and hopefully join our online community, you will discover that the first 5 years of life are powerful years, which can create conditions for lifelong success or failure. As the caregiver of a child, you are the gatekeeper of that power. Using science, you can shape your childrens future.

Being aware and staying committed to change are the biggest hurdles. The rest is easily done. My hope for you is that you use this knowledge to change and prompt others to change with you.
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Why? Matters Have you ever walked by an electrical fence? As dangerous as they are, no one would think to put a sign on them that simply said DONT TOUCH. Instead, theres an explanation. CAUTION: ELECTRIC SHOCK IS DEADLY. There is even a picture. There is a reason for that. It has to do with the way our brains process information. Brains are wired to take in and pay attention to information that is relevant to our survival. It is how and why it sorts information. When we are given information without an explanation or a why our brain categorizes the information as irrelevant and treats it accordingly. Poof! It forgets it! Whys matter; they make us pay attention.

Parenting knowledge, instruction, or common wisdom that comes with a why is important to have. A parent who doesnt understand that a baby not getting enough sleep can impact his brain in ways that can affect his life forever, for example, might not put a baby to bed early. Coincidentally, thats why our kids are up at all times of the night. The same goes with letting kids watch TV and eat junk food or not reading, talking, playing, climbing, crawling, touching, breastfeeding, playing with paint and so on. If our moms knew better they would do better. But, for many no one has ever taken the time to teach them the whys.

Often, I hear people talking about low income parents, even loving ones, doing a terrible job. My answer: Has anyone taught them differently? Have those parents been shown the impact early childhood has on mental health and achievement? Do they understand the links between early childhood and adult disease and prison? Who is teaching them? Us?

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Read this carefully:

The difference between a high achieving, professional and a low skilled or unskilled member of the poor can come down to a 12-18 point difference in IQ and non-IQ related intelligence. This difference is mostly influenced by one thing aside from a persons genes---his experiences as a child ages 0-5! The difference between being physically and mentally healthy for an entire lifetime is highly determined by one thing other than genes---his experiences as child ages 0-5. This is especially true of the first months through secure attachment. The ability to have skills that contribute to our success such as delaying gratification and thinking critically are developed early on through our experiences as children, ages 0-5.

You wont have to take my word on this. Later, I will include direct quotes and excerpts from a number of experts that validate these points.

When is the last time you heard anyone around you paying that much attention to the experiences of babies, 0-5? To what they eat? To what they hear? To what they see? To what they feel? Many of you reading this book have probably never linked your babys experiences now to a potential life of struggle; much less the prenatal period. As a culture, we dont understand the importance of the first five years. Because of this, without ever knowing, we limit our childrens lives, and our communities, from the crib.

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This isnt a question of love. Our love doesnt change the truth behind science. Not knowing and knowing changes how science affects us. Parents that are taught how to shape the experience of a developing brain, which includes: what to do, what not to do, and most importantly, why and how it all works, are privileged; as a result, so are their kids. The opposite is also true. Parents not being taught the same thing are hopelessly clueless. Their kids are often not prepared if not damaged through life. One group thrives. One group suffers.

One of my main goals as a parent advocate is to teach parents the hows and the whys because knowing them matters.

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Its Not the Children, Its Their Brains! Walk into a public school today and youll soon find out there are babies 6 and 7 years old already labeled poor readers and problem children. Some are even repeating kindergarten and 1st grade. By middle school, many feel indifferent towards learning. In many cities, dropping out is now the norm. Unfortunately, whether our children drop out in the 10th grade or finish the 12th doesnt matter if theyve checked out mentally years before.

Equally as tragic are the children who, finish school full of hope, and still walk out lacking the skills to make it through college, trade school, or the workplace. Our children all over the country are being robbed daily of their right to an education or even the pursuit of happiness. Not to mention, millions are clinically depressed and mentally ill; many of them never diagnosed or treated.

While this process does have something to do with the way the school and justice systems are set up thats not where the process starts. The process begins while our childrens brains are first developing. An improperly wired brain can result in a lifetime of severe academic difficulties, lack of motivation, behavior problems, overall challenge, and illness (more on brain wiring later.) Its not the children that are the problem; they are the casualty of war. Its their brains.

Our brains control everything we do and most of what we are capable of. If we are going to improve our childrens ability to read, write, think, create, feel, and do, it only makes sense that we also study the thing thats responsible for those processes.

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About 50% of our brains capabilities (includes intelligence, emotions, personality, overall health) are determined by genes and the other 50% by the environment in which the brain develops, starting in the womb. Along those lines, up to 80% of a persons brain develops the first 3 years of life and another 10% the next two years. In other words, 90% of a persons brain development takes place during the first 5 years, before kindergarten; and half of that is directly impacted by the environment and adult relationships in a childs life! Although the brain will continue to develop and be affected throughout life, those first years carry the bulk of a lifetimes development.

Lets try to visualize this process. During the first months, a brain develops by having its physical needs met and using its senses to gather meaning from its surrounding. Humans are hard-wired with a need to be touched and comforted as infants. By working with a childs instincts and tending to its needs, adults create what is called secure attachment in an infant. Secure attachment assures a defenseless infant that the world is a safe, loving place. This process is the foundation for thinking, analyzing, communicating, reading, and feeling safe enough to express feelings, develop trust, and seek out new experiences.

Attachment is the most basic building block in life and begins with our very first relationships with caregivers, usually mothers, the moment we arrive. The brain systems that process safety and emotions are first to develop because safety and emotions is what the brain first taps into before it can think, learn, and make decisions. If there is any dysfunction or hiccups while these systems develop, there will always be a chance of potential dysfunction in our actions, thinking, learning, and relationships. A child without secure attachment might lack perspective, tend to overreact, struggle with anger management

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or learning disabilities, suffer from depression or anxiety, or lack empathy throughout his life.

What does this mean for parents? Babies need our love, our affection, and care at all times. Its not just a nice thing to do. It is literately what brains need in order to grow and be healthy. As a babys needs are met, its brain registers love, affection, comfort and above all safety. The message which a baby receives is I matter. This becomes its cue to learn, grow, and develop.

Have you ever heard someone say dont pick up the baby too much you are going to spoil him or let him cry its good for his lungs? Of course you have. These well intended pieces of advice are responsible for millions of negatively impacted brains. A baby cannot be spoiled the first months of life. It is impossible. While babies are born capable of many amazing things, manipulation is not one of them.

A baby cries because its one of the only ways he can communicate. Therefore, if when a baby is left to cry unattended for long periods of time, the experience semipermanently damages his brain. The fact that a baby might stop crying or is able to fall asleep after 15-20 minutes of crying does not mean he was able to soothe himself but instead, that he gave up on the comfort and safety of his world and the adults he was supposed to trust.

Semi-permanently? Well, sort of. Our brains are plastic, they adapt. Should that babys neglectful environment change, with repeated positive experiences the brain will make new connections. The earlier, richer, and more consistent the environment changes, the better, of course. If the environment
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stays the same, however, as it often does, that brain is impacted for life.

Question: How many homes in our communities are learning about early brain development and changing their environment? Answer: Not nearly enough. Urgency is called for.

The effects of neglect and rejection the first months arent always evident early but can and often do last a lifetime. From shutting down in school, to bullying kids in the yard, to picking abusive partners or becoming an abuser years down the line, as a brain is challenged, problems rooted in infancy have a way of showing up!

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Brain Wiring, the Olympics, and Gridlock As mentioned, your brain is the headquarters of your existence. The brain is broken down into a few major parts and several sub-parts. Each part has a different function. The brain is made up mostly of brain cells, called neurons, and water. Neurons connect to each other, with branch-like arms or dendrites, in order to create a net or a web for information to travel through. This web is what is referred to as brain wiring. Information travels through the brains wiring, from side to side, front to back, and throughout the body in order to process thoughts, feelings, and actions. The better each part of the brain is developed and is able to communicate, the better the brain function. The opposite is also true.

In talking about information traveling through the brain, it might be helpful to think of the inside of a brain as a living space such as a city and its brain wiring as the transportation and housing system the city relies on. Now, imagine that our journey through life is the equivalent of a city hosting the Olympics.

When a city hosts the Olympics there is an enormous amount of economic growth. Money is made not just for the event but years before and after. Jobs are created, hotels and homes are built, and marketing materials are sold. Tourism booms. New families move into the city and make it their permanent residence. One of the reasons Atlanta is what is today is what the Olympics did to that city more than 15 years ago! The activity and financial benefit is endless. Hosting the Olympics is a really big deal. It is one of if not a citys biggest opportunities for growth and why countries must bid and campaign to be selected.
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Yet, the Olympics committee must choose and notify a hosting city years ahead of the actual Olympic event because cities arent equipped for the Olympics by design; they need to build themselves up. It takes time, manpower, and skill to handle the people, security requirements, traffic, and events. Sidewalks, stadiums, airports, roads and highways all need to be upgraded to handle the increased volume of activity. Hospitals, ambulances, police and fire departments must be trained and coordinated to handle a security emergency. Complex operations need complex systems of transportation, lodging, and distribution. In fact, in order to win the Olympics bid, a country must prove that it can prepare itself by a deadline.

What would happen if the Mayor, highway workers, city planner, Department of Health, and Department of Tourism all started making moves at the same time, without ever speaking to one another or following the guidelines of the Olympics committee? What if they started using cheap material to build or hired unskilled contractors? There would be chaos. Once finished, the city would most likely face things not working, being in conflict with each other, and simply being insufficient. In one word: gridlock. With such an important project, there needs to be a plan in place, a city needs to have the materials and skilled workers, actions must be coordinated, and in the end, everything must be finished on time.

Forget morning traffic. What does a real gridlock situation look like? Think about the scenes just before Katrina hit New Orleans. Do you remember the images on the news as storms of cars headed out? How about after the levies broke? Without a plan or alternative routes, volumes of people attempting to get in or out of the city proved impossible. When complex
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situations meet non-complex systems, gridlock is more than inconvenient, it is tragic. This is exactly how the brain and life work. While the fetus is in the womb, brain development begins. This is one of the reasons pre-natal care is so important. When a baby is born, however only the very basic functions are connected or hard wired. To keep using our example, at birth, your babys transportation and distribution system is made up of a very short, narrow, two-way road used to communicate basic needs such as food, rest, or touching as well as pick up information or learn.

In order for brain parts and functions to develop, nurture or environment comes into play. Moment by moment, every experience stimulates the brain so that it makes a connection. When experiences are repeated connections related with those experiences are strengthened. Weak connections are constantly pruned off or eliminated. Strong connections become permanent brain wiring. Permanent connections or wiring are equal to the highways, hotels, stadiums, hospitals, sidewalks and airports of a city. With each connection, the transportation and lodging system expands. The more connections, the more complex the brain structure, the more fit it is for the Olympics, or say, a hurricane.

This is where it gets really interesting. Just like with the Olympics, there is a deadline. Host cities have to pull off all operations by a particular date. This is why a city will hire the best people and buy the best materials needed to get the job done on time. Similarly, 75-80% of a persons brain development must happen by the age of 3! Another 10-15% happens from ages 3-5! That is 90% of the brains wiring created by the age of 5. These ages are the equivalent of those Olympic committee deadlines. Im going to remind you of that every chance I get, because its a major detail.
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Many of our children today are facing complex circumstances with a brain structure that lacks complexity. One of the first places we see this inadequacy is literacy. There is nothing simple about the English language, much less reading and writing it. Literacy is about putting sound to the feelings and thoughts that are inside a person using a common language. Then combining symbols or letters to represent those sounds. Following that, we use rules (front to back, left to right, top to bottom, commas, periods, capital and lower case letters, and spelling) to put words into sentences and sentences into paragraphs. Add to this, metaphors (cold as ice) and idiomatic expressions (whats up?). Children are expected to have these skills by the whopping age of six! The same can be said of the wonderful world of math.

As children move up in grades, texts become harder. Vocabulary and language structure more demanding. Math gets more abstract. Science and history are introduced. The overall amount of work and pressure to produce increases each year. Social factors, like hormones and physical changes, are added to the mix. The complexity snowballs quickly. As the complexity grows, a brains capacity is challenged. If the capacity is insufficient, highways back up, structures crumble. Gridlock happens.

Gridlock in a person show ups as frustration, loss of interest, excess difficulty completing age appropriate tasks, confusion, stress, mental health deficiencies, depression, aggression, being disconnected, hopelessness, and lack of compassion, to name a few. Society has a way of labeling our youth (who then grow up right?) as bad, violent, lost, slow, and even trifling, without ever noting that what we are actually seeing is mental gridlock.

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