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ATTRACTION GAMES PRESENTS...

THE LOST ART: RECOVERED


THE SINGLE MOST SIGNIFICANT FACTOR IN DETERMINING YOUR CHARISMA, SOCIAL SKILL AND ABILITY TO ATTRACT WOMEN
BY JAMES TRIPP & JOHN P MORGAN

www.attractiongames.com

WWW.ATTRACTIONGAMES.CO.UK

THE LOST ART: RECOVERED

Disclaimer
We would like to make it clear that we DO NOT in any way endorse using charisma, attractiveness or psychology to manipulate others to their disadvantage this is not what this material is about. The information in this book is presented to you free of charge and with the very best of intentions, and we ask that you use it responsibly and with a sense of integrity. Please also be aware that you are a responsible human being and any experimentation with the ideas presented through this book is undertaken at your own risk and responsibility. As such, neither the authors nor Attraction Games can take responsibility for the results of your learning and exploration, positive or otherwise. In short, we can show you the path, but you take responsibility when you walk it!

All Right Reserved


Except where otherwise stated, the intellectual property rights and copyright are retained by the authors, John P Morgan and James Tripp, who also retain the trademark Attraction Games. You may not copy any portion of this book without permission.

contacts
james tripp james@attractiongames.com John P Morgan john@attractiongames.com

Book design: Gessica Finaurini gessica.fin@gmail.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS
THE LOST ART: RECOVERED
Table of Contents ................................................................... 3 Introduction .............................................................................. 5

Chapter 1 The Lost Art ................................................. 7 Chapter 2 Our Story ...................................................... 14 Part I James Tripp .......................................................... 14

Part II John P Morgan ..................................................... 23 Part III James Tripp ........................................................ 33 Part IV John P Morgan ................................................... 35 Part V James Tripp ......................................................... 37 Part VI John P Morgan ................................................... 39 Part VII James Tripp ....................................................... 41 Chapter 3 The Power of Play ..................................... 43 Its Not What You Think ..................................................... 43 Play Was How You Learned ............................................. 45 Chapter 4 Charisma, Attraction & Social Skill ...... 51 Survival Value ..................................................................... 54 Opportunities for Personal Connection ............................ 57 Good Feelings .................................................................... 63 Keeping Them on Their Toes ............................................ 66 Are You Getting It? ............................................................. 68 Chapter 5 The Big Question ...................................... 69

Chapter 6 Play vs. Work ............................................. 73

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Understanding the Difference ............................................ 73 Work is Survival, Play is Growth ....................................... 77 Chapter 7 Play Makes it Easy to Win ...................... 81 The Disappearance of Fear & Anxiety ............................. 82 When You Play, You Cannot Fail ...................................... 87 When You Play, You Cannot Lose .................................... 93 You Can be Fearless & You Can Win ............................... 99 Chapter 8 Working For Women ................................. 100 Working Failure ................................................................. 100 Working Success .............................................................. 107 Fear and Desire .................................................................. 114 Chapter 9 Playing With Women ................................ 117 Natural Success ................................................................ 117 Letting Things Play Out ..................................................... 124 Chapter 10 From Game to Games ........................ 129 A New Worldview ............................................................... 130 Most Pick Up Artist Concepts Are Work Concepts ........ 134 From Work to Play .............................................................. 138 The Upward Spiral .............................................................. 140 Making the Switch .............................................................. 142 Its Never Too Late .............................................................. 144 Chapter 11 Recovering The Lost Art ........................ 146 Avoiding Fear & Anxiety ................................................. 148 Values & Beliefs ............................................................. 151 Habits ............................................................................ 152 Making Time to Play ...................................................... 154 Chapter 12 The Attraction Games Mission ........... 156 Conclusion Its Time to Play...................................... 165

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INTRODUCTION
Imagine a familiar and busy streetwith people everywhere and as you walk amongst them with a relaxed strideone foot after the other ...you breath a deep breath of fresh air into your lungs...and you are feeling good... because there is lightness to your step and a fantastic sense of wellbeing that circulates around your entire bodyand radiates out from you. so you enjoy this momentand cant help but feel fully alive right nowand it feels incredibly good to you and to the people around youeverything about the way you are and the way you move you knownaturally attracts them towards you because you can feel itin their eyes in their smilesin the gate of their step

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and you can sensethey feel your presence and charisma because they too can sense you are a man at ease in your worldand a true master of your reality and so as you continue to walk now your awareness extends fully into the world connecting you with the richness of life that surrounds you and in this momentyour eyes meet those of an attractive girland instantlywithout thought you begin to flow with her as a wide smile spreads across your face .and as your chin and eyebrows lift subtly like a magic reflectionshe instantly respondsher own smile becoming a broad crescenther eyes widening black pupils as you feel her heart liftand your heart lift you greet each other with comfort and ease and it begins
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CHAPTER 1 THE LOST ART


For some guys, success with women is something that seems to come incredibly easily they seem to expend little effort and yet effortlessly attract countless desirable women. For other guys, things are a lot tougher! Attracting the women that they desire seems like hard work at best, and a lost cause at worst. If the latter is something that seems true for you, and is something that you would desperately like to change what we are going to share with you in this book could be the catalyst that literally transforms your love life forever! Now, we are quite aware that this claim sounds ridiculously grandiose, but we do not make it without good reason. We have discovered (actually, make that recovered)

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THE LOST ART: RECOVERED

something simple yet incredibly powerful something that has already transformed the romantic and social lives of a number of our private coaching clients. And it is the key to unlocking and developing a natural and easy ability with women! A lost art form a difference that makes a difference! In the pages that follow, we are going to reveal to you this amazing key. And be warned now: when we first reveal this to you it will seem simple, and possibly even obvious yet you still will not be doing it! (Why?) For these reasons we will be taking great care to explain it in full so as you are able to appreciate completely its depth, profundity and ability to radically transform your success with women. Now before we go on, let us be completely clear out one thing:

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This is no cheap gimmick or trick! What we will be sharing here is not some canned technique for you to deploy as a substitute for something desperately lacking in your character or personality. This is much deeper than that: It is about your growth as a naturally attractive man (or rather, addressing your current lack of growth)! And this is important! Our aim here is to free you to become what you have always had the potential to be a naturally charismatic and attractive man! You see the truth is, when it comes to social ability, we are all essentially created equal. We all begin our journeys from roughly the same point: We have the same kind of neurophysiology and the same kind of potentials. Then some of us grow to be socially and romantically adept and others dont. So, what is the difference that makes the difference? Well, as you may guess it all comes down

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to learning! But not just what you learn the key thing is really how you learn! As human beings we are natural learning geniuses we learn, we understand and we grow. And, as we have said, whilst some of us grow into charismatic, socially and romantically adept personal powerhouses, others somehow dont! For those who dont, it is natural to speculate at what is missing: Is it looks? Is it skills? Is it knowledge? Is it confidence? Well, sometimes it is some of that! But there is something else something deeper and much more profound that necessarily proceeds and is more fundamental than all of the above. And heres the interesting thing: That element that is missing is something

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that every single human being is born with in abundance! This is the thing that as you set out in life allowed you to learn at a phenomenal rate. You learned to crawl, to walk, to run, to dance, to talk, to eat and to interact socially with other human beings. It is also the thing that made you naturally charming to the adults who cared about you. Back then you were doing great! Then something happened: a turning point that hobbled your ability to learn with ease and stopped you developing the social skills that would have ultimately matured into abundant success with women. For you, this change this loss could have occurred for any number of reasons (we are all individual in our life experiences). But if you are lacking the success you want with women, this change most certainly has indeed happened for you (we can say this, because all naturals retain this original lynchpin xfactor in the context of interacting with women).

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And because you lost this thing this key element that THE LOST ART: RECOVERD is all about your social learning failed to continue as it should, and a downward spiral began. At some point you became aware of a lacking in your ability with women. This awareness then became a sort of disease, which fed back into itself (as we will also explain), ultimately binding you inside a reality that denied you the learning and growing you needed. The worse it got, the further the lost art was from your knowing and your grasp. And its really not your fault! In our modern world, the art form we speak of eludes many for our society misunderstands and rejects it as being of low value: A waste of time. Unnecessary. Childish. Not for adults and certainly not for real men! But this is a mistake! Fortunately it is a mistake that is now being

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recognized in the academic circles of sociology and social psychology. A mistake that has deprived you of so many years of valuable learning and pleasure learning and pleasure that you have been seeking, you deserve and finally, now, are about to gain!

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CHAPTER 2 OUR STORY


PART I. JAMES TRIPP

Before I say anything else, I would like to say that I am really excited by what we have discovered and what we are going to share with you in this book because it relates to a subject and a journey that is particularly close to my heart! Let me introduce myself more fully, and than Ill tell you about it! I am a Transformative Hypnotist, Neurolinguist, Behavioural Modeller, Guerrilla Psychologist ;)... or any one of a dozen other labels that could apply! In plain English my area of expertise is how our thoughts and feelings drive our behaviours, which in turn get us what we get in life. My primary area of application for this is in working with people

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to directly reorganise their thoughts, perspectives, feelings and behaviours so as they get more of what they want and less of what they dont essentially I teach people how to master the art of enjoying life and getting (or creating) what they want (cool job, huh?). Publicly I am best known as the creator of Hypnosis Without Trance (an original model and approach to hypnosis which has caused a massive stir in the Hypnosis world) but my interest in hypnosis is really just one aspect of my primary interest in life how to use everything that you are, to get everything that you want, ethically and ecologically. And the material that Mr Morgan and I have uncovered, modelled, researched and tested in the real world and with our private coaching clients is a real breakthrough piece in that puzzle.

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This really is exiting stuff, and if you are interested in becoming massively more attractive in your interactions with the opposite sex, what we have to share in this book is a key piece that will take you to a totally new level. Now I have to be clear right now! I am no pickup guru and have no interest in being one I am a married guy, for f**ks sake! (When you get the girl of your dreams, if you really want to know, Ill teach you how to keep her.) My interest in this material is purely from the perspective of social influence and efficacy (for me it is about the bigger picture), as well as for the benefit of my clients (I see a lot of clients for issues around social anxiety and developing redhot social skills). Really, Johns the Casanova of the outfit, while Im more the crazy professor type (though try to think more Indiana Jones than Albert Einstein here ;)) and my story is really very different from Johns.

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I am 36 years old at the time of writing this book I am blissfully married to the girl of my dreams, have 2 beautiful daughters, a successful and growing business and a very active social life. But things were not always so rosy. Ill tell you about it From the ages of 11 to 16 I went to an all boys school. I wanted to go to this school because my big brother went there, and all my older cousins had been there too, so I begged and pleaded my parents to send me, which, against their better judgement, they did. It was a terrible mistake during the most formative years of my life, just when I needed to be developing the skills I would require as an adult to relate romantically and sexually to the opposite sex, I was left in a vacuum. For 5 years the only females I spoke to were my mum, my aunt and my Nan. Now I didnt really realise that this was such a problem until my school merged with the local girls school, just as I was coming into the sixth form (age 16) suddenly I was in with a load of girls... and it f**king terrified me!!!

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Literally I had no idea how to relate to them I couldnt even look them in the eyes, and if I ever had to speak I would blush, stammer and shake. There was one girl in particular whom I became totally besotted with. Her name was Debbie and I would think about her constantly when I got home from school I would just go and lie in my bed feeling my heart hurting and listening to Anything She Does by Genesis over and over: I wont ever, no Ill never get to hold her, or be the cause of anything she does... I wont ever, no Ill never get to hold her, do you think, do you think this could be love? To my credit, I decided I needed to take some proper action, so I bought some flowers for her and had someone give them to her on my behalf :o. In return I got a message from one of her friends telling me that Debbie wanted to meet me that afternoon. I nearly puked with fear at the thought.

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But I went, and I met her... Debbie: You bought me flowers! James: (Blushing and trembling) Y... yes Debbie: Why carnations? James: I just... thought you might like them. Debbie: Oh Oh, baby... smooooth operator! But guess what! She actually asked if I would like to take her out to the pub that Friday! Holy f**k, against all the odds I got a hit! (A note to American readers, In the U.K the legal age to drink is 18, but most teenagers start drinking a lot earlier than that, and back in the early 90s, pubs rarely asked for I.D.) Of course I said yes without hesitation, so she told me to meet at the school gates at 7:30 PM that coming Friday. Now heres the really dumb thing... we arranged this on the Tuesday, and for the rest of that week, every time I saw her I would

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look away or hide if I could even when she had clearly seen me! I was simply just too shit scared to talk to her, even though we had a date arranged. What a dick! (Believe me, this is hugely embarrassing for me admitting this stuff, now that I am so sophisticated ;)) So, of course, when the date came on Friday, I was way too scared to go. Firstly because I was baseline terrified, and secondly because I felt like a super weed in light of how I had been running scared from her all week. But as scared as I was I needed to go... I needed to do it! I couldnt pass up the opportunity of a date with the (at that time) girl of my dreams because of what it would mean if I did (that I would be the Lord of all Losers with balls the size of dried peas). I needed a solution, and I needed it quick! The solution was a 2litre bottle of cheap supermarket cider I only drank a litre and a bit, but it was enough. When I turned up at our meeting point she was already there (Remarkable! How many chances would she give me?).

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So I greeted her thus: Im drunk again (the only other occasion outside school that I had seen her was at a party where I had been drunk). An impressive start! She rolled her eyes, we walked to the pub, and it totally went downhill from there At the pub we got drinks and sat outside. For a brief time I talked utter shite, before being interrupted by this slightly fat older guy who came up and confidently introduced himself. He started talking to her and quite soon they were both laughing and having a good time. So I just sat there musing through a drunken fog on my all to apparent shortcomings, while they talked and laughed and ultimately kissed. She left with him later that same evening. She married him later that year. After that experience I pretty much stayed drunk for a few years, but actually developed some social skills and skills with women. The problem was that they were all state

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dependent no booze, no skills. What I ultimately realized was that to have the life I wanted I needed to learn do what I could do drunk, but MUCH BETTER, and without the drink. By this time I was in my early 20s I was a late starter, and a slow learner but meticulous and thorough. Slowly, I got results. So lets forward wind some years Ive hit my 30s and Ive studied everything I can on charisma, communication skills, social dynamics, influence and a load more besides, and Im performing as a professional magician. And things are very different now: Im sober, Im fun, Im charming, Im entertaining everything that I had worked for over the years. By now I am married to my beautiful wife, my business is doing great and things are pretty sweet, but theres still something something that just isnt quite right.

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PART II. JOHN P MORGAN

At Parents Day my first grade teacher made my mother cry by telling her that I was reckless, unruly and would never amount to anything. If I had grown up in the 90s I certainly would have been stuffed full or Ritalin, but luckily it was the 80s and so instead I took behaviour notes home each day and had to have my desk up next to the teachers, separate from the rest of the class. It wasnt that I was a bad kidI was just hyper, I didnt care much for rules and everything was like a game to me. It wasnt even that I wanted to break the rules, I just never took any of them seriously, except for the golden rule: Do unto others as you have them do unto you. Somehow that one always made sense to me. It wasnt until quite recently though that Id see my disregard for rules as a key component to my success in life, and even more specifically, my success with women.

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I had my first kiss at a high school dance when I was 14. I was the only one of my friends to have kissed a girl and so everyone talked about it. A week later she dumped me by passing a note in music class. I didnt care though. It was fun to kiss her. Within a couple of years Id already been with a number of girls and scored a super hot girlfriend from the next town over. It didnt matter much where I was alone at the shopping mallout skateboarding with friendson vacation with my familyI met girls everywhere. This continued throughout my life and I really never thought much about it. When I saw a girl I liked, I talked to her. When I talked to her, she usually liked me, wed do stuff together and it would usually lead to something physical. In 1997 I began studying Physics and Math at the University of Rhode Island, which the year prior had been voted the USAs number one party school by Playboy magazine. In addition to this, at that time

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URI had had more female students than male. With such great odds, my experiences with women really began to take off. I continued to meet girls everywhere. Some of them I made out with within moments of meeting. Some of them I had to hang out with a few times before sleeping with them. I remember this one girl with a perfect body and a huge chest walking in the hallway in the student union. She was far away and so I shouted to her. HEY! Come here! I yelled, waving her over. She turned, looked, sort of furrowed her brow, and then walked towards me. I really like your eyes. I said, breaking into laughter. Yea right! She accused me, laughing too. Obviously I couldnt have seen her eyes from a place where I needed to shout to her!

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Haha I dont know, whatever. Whats your name? Are you leaving? Give me your number! Im going to call you! And she did. The interaction, which both started and ended with us laughing at the absolute ridiculousness of it, lasted all about thirty seconds. That weekend I made out with her on the beach and then had her legs wrapped around my head by the evening. She was actually really cool and if I had paid more attention to her after that weekend, she probably wouldnt have started dating my housemate instead. My friends called me a player during my University years I wasnt trying to be, but they were probably right. I had lots of girls, and even counted them for a while, because I liked counting things, but then stuff started happening so quickly that I stopped counting all

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together. Through getting a shitload of things both right and wrong, I certainly learned and grew a lot during my early twenties. I had also become the gotoguy for advice on girls and dating to many of my friends and their friends. For me it was never about what to do or say but more so how to be and this is what I always tried to communicate to the guys who asked for my help. On the professional front after University, I got into real estate investing and development. By the time I was twentyfive I had a ton of cash in the bank, my own condo and a brand new BMW, but what I really wanted was to be out travelling and exploring the world. So I packed up everything, rented out my place and took off with only a backpack on a journey across the planet, which ended up lasting about three years. During that time, from the laptop I had with me, I did a bunch of travel writing and partnered in a startup web company which grew very rapidly and before long I was managing a team of programmers in India and the Ukraine developing websites for global charities.

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As a result of all the globetrotting and charity work, I got interested in human rights and education and so I did some consulting for nonprofit organizations on their fundraising strategies. I also did some communication coaching for a human rights activist in India and raised funds to build a library for kids in Cambodia. Ive always mentored people and have been intensively immersed in personal development and coaching since about 2004. Since 2008 coaching has been my full time gig and my main focus these days is on helping guys with dating and relationship. Although I see plenty of value in what comes out of the pick up artist industry, Im not a pick up artist myself. My focus is more on helping guys turn into naturally attractive men using my own approach. I get paid based on the results I get with my clients and I literally love my work because of how exciting and rewarding it is for me and for them. Half of the time during my travels I was dating an amazing German girl. During the other half though, lets just say I tasted the many

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flavours of the world. I found that my approach with women wasnt culturally specific. Hell, sometimes it didnt even matter if I spoke the same language as them! I much prefer a relationship with one amazing woman than I do dating multiple women. At the same time though, Ive found that in order to find a really amazing woman, I need to meet and get to know a lot of different women. And while were at it, if shes up for a bit of fun, then hey, yea, sure. Me too! Ive always been highly empathetic (got it from my Mom) and, as I mentioned, in my University years I learned a lot about what was OK to do with and say to women and what wasnt. I had sort of an unusual dating life in that since I didnt start drinking alcohol until I was twentynine, I never really spent much time in clubs or bars. (I still dont drink that often actually.) It didnt mean I met any

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fewer women though. Ive met girls in cafes and restaurants, walking in the street, on busses, trains and park benches, in hostels and hotels, waiting in lines, at parties, through friends, through girlfriends (yikes!) and even online via social media. Between ages fourteen and thirtyone, I spent about seven years in serious relationships. During the other years I spent my time with many different women doing something that I would later understand to be the missing lynchpin for so many guys. A thing which I had never even consciously considered to be doing, never mind understood how critical it had been to me having the number and kinds of experiences with women that I have had. A couple of years ago I met James Tripp at a gathering of hypnotists (an interest and hobby of mine). James is brilliant and we got on well discussing things at the edges of our understanding. James is always curious about people and how they do the things they do, and so he started asking questions about my social

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skills and my attitudes. One question was about how I learned to be the way that I was with women and the answer that seemed the most true at the time was: I learned from my Dad. My father is a social superstar. Hes a charmer and everyone loves him. I didnt think much about the fact that he was married; I assumed I somehow learned to flirt and relate to women by watching him. This was my explanation until recently anyway, which Ill explain near the end of this book. James story is interesting too, but very different from mine. He developed his social abilities via a different and more conscious path, but it is this difference that makes us work so well together. What we have in common is a fascination for discovering how things work. We both spend a lot of time building models for effective human behaviour and uncovering the mechanisms behind growth

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and personal change. It makes us better at things. James is the first friend I email or forward stuff to when Ive discovered something new and exciting. Because we share all the knowledge we discover, it helps us both to grow more quickly. We therefore spend a lot of time digging deeply into each others psyches and areas of natural skill in an effort to uncover the structures, information and ways of relating to the world that serve as the foundation for those skills.

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PART III. JAMES TRIPP

and something just isnt quite right. It took me a long time to figure it out, but the critical piece hit me one evening when I was at a bar with John and a bunch of friends. Id had a heavy day that day, speaking at a hypnosis conference and meeting and greeting, and so was pretty tired. I decided to call it a day and head home, and so took a look around the place for John so I could say bye. I saw John talking to a couple of attractive girls, and knew I would have to do the polite thing and chat a little before saying bye. I readied myself and went in: Hey, what are you doing to my friend John? For the next few minutes I was charming, humorous, mildly cheeky, and just a little bit flirty. The brief interaction culminated with kisses on the cheek from the girls before finally saying goodbye to John but I didnt end up actually leaving at that point because I got caught up talking to some of my other

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friends. At one point I happened to glance over at John again right about the time he was ending his conversation with the girls. As John walked away from the girls, I saw something of the vibe he was carrying with him. I thought back to the moment when I had walked away from them and in that moment, I was hit by a massive epiphany. I realized that although I had done all the right things during my interaction with the girls although over the past ten years I had developed all the social and communication skills I needed and more, and I could do what I had always wanted to do in social situation there was still a key ingredient missing: FUN! Although both John and I had equally done all the right things, why had it obviously been FUN for him and NOT FUN for me? This question rattled around in my head over the next few days. I was beginning to connect some dots but the final piece fell in a few days

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later when John and I were out again at a coffee shop and something else happened

PART IV. JOHN P MORGAN

James and I were out at a coffee shop in East London on a weekday afternoon. He had told me he wanted to run some ideas by me. Before we got into it though, an attractive girl sat down at the table right next to us. She was hot enough to pull me out of the conversation and draw a smile. She smiled back, I said hello and it all just rolled on from there. We chatted a bit, I teased her a bit, we laughed and smiled and agreed we should get together. She gave me her phone number before packing up her stuff and leaving. Make sure you call me. Yea, I hope I dont lose this! I said holding the caf flyer with her number scribbled on it.

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James and I then returned to our conversation together. So thats exactly it thats what I wanted to talk about! What where you just doing there? asked James. What do you mean? What were you just doing with that girl? I dont know talking to her? John, you were not just talking to her! Shit was happening strange attraction voodoo. Did you know from the beginning that you wanted to get her phone number? Not really, she just seemed nice so I thought Id have some fun. You thought youd have some fun!? Yeh? Like PLAYING? I guess

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Just PLAYING!? HmmmmYeah! John this is a f**king major thing! We need to model this out

PART V. JAMES TRIPP

And it all suddenly clicked in. For some time I had been working with my private coaching clients using a model of motivation that differentiated WORK from PLAY, but it was only in that moment that I saw that it had much further reaching ramifications and applications. Relating it to myself, and John, and social interactions, I realized that whilst I could do a fair impression of charming, charismatic, entertaining, engaging, flirtatious, it was really just a convincing impression created through hard WORK! And whilst it all WORKED well enough up to a point, I always felt that it fell

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short of where I wanted it to be. And it did because all of that stuff isnt supposed to be WORK it is supposed to be PLAY. This is what John was doing, PLAYING! Although he said he had never explicitly thought of it that way, once realized it was plain to see. In that moment sitting in that caf, my mind raced back to something I had read in a book on leadership many years before: Charismatic people are simply people who enjoy themselves in doing what they do. For me I was getting by as an actor, WORKING to fake something that I had never learned to do naturally. The irony was, the very thing that had helped me learn to fake it (WORK), was the very thing that was stopping me from having it fully! But not so for John. For John socializing and interacting with girls

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was and is 100% pure PLAY! And this is an immensely powerful thing!

PART VI. JOHN P MORGAN

And there it was. James, with his brilliance for seeing below the surface of reality, recognized something in what I was doing in my interactions with women (and social interactions in general) that was absolutely fundamental. An attitude and mindset so natural to me, and so deeply embedded, that I just took it completely for granted, until we started to explore it. The events that culminated in that moment, and the modelling session that followed, began a journey of discovery that led us to incredible places. Through observation, exploration, modelling and study (sociology, psychology, anthropology etc.) we uncovered the

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elements of that complex human activity called PLAY Through our exploration we came to understand how it forms the basis for all human attraction and romantic and social connection. PLAY! So simple and yet so rich! This single word PLAY represents something truly profound. Something of enormity and incredible significance a lost art form that holds the key to both natural learning and effortless attraction. PLAY is powerful, both practically and conceptually. Do not underestimate the richness and profundity! In the pages that follow, we will not only convince you of this, but we will take you on a journey to a place where you will see with ultraclarity how bringing PLAY back into your life will be the difference that makes all the

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difference in developing the success with women that you want and deserve. Simply put, through your learning to PLAY again everything changes.

PART VII. JAMES TRIPP

We walked from the coffee shop straight to Johns office (a sweet spot in a high rise with a fantastic view of the City of London and Tower Bridge), pulled out the dry wipe boards and got to work (and play) discovering and modelling. At the beginning of the session, my personal interest was primarily in Johns clear ability to make genuine and deep connections with other human beings across a range of social contexts, but it soon became clear that John had a special set of expertise around creating sexual attraction and connection with women. So this is the direction that our further research ultimately took and over weeks and months of investigation and experimentation, it became

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clear that we had uncovered pure gold! Personally speaking, I have learned a phenomenal amount form our endeavours. My attitude and outlook have changed forever and set me on a whole new path of discovery and fun and not just in social contexts, but also in living a richer life in general! I also know that John has got a lot from this too he was good with the ladies before, but these days he is just on fire. And obviously our private coaching clients have benefited massively too! We want to share with you some of what we have discovered so as you can benefit too. So this is what this book is essentially about: Creating sexual attraction and connection through fun and PLAY. Ready? Let the games begin!

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CHAPTER 3 THE POWER OF PLAY


ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

PLAY is an occasion of pure waste: waste of time, energy, ingenuity, skill and often money. It is also an essential element of human social and spiritual development.
From Man, Play and Games by Roger Caillois

PLAY a simple concept, right? Easy to understand. Easy to do. Well, you sure would think so! From our initial exploration it took us many months of ongoing research, experimentation and PLAYING to fully realize the richness and

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profundity of the concept. But, the more we discovered, the more it blew our minds. It is so easy to misunderstand PLAY and underestimate its power the commonality of the word robs the concept of the kind of glow youd expect around something worthy of the attention we will be giving it in this book. And herein lies part of the problem: The glow and the power of PLAY have most likely been lost to you. As you grew up, its value diminished and, as society demanded of you, you became a more serious and less playful individual. When we speak of PLAY, we speak not simply of a willingness to engage in games; not only of light heartedness in your approach; not only of an attitude or a disposition. When we speak of PLAY, we are speaking of a state of experience and action that is powerful, pleasurable, productive and probably so long lost as to be almost foreign to you.

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At one time you knew it well in fact at a very young age, PLAY was one of only a handful of experiences you knew.

PLAY WAS HOW YOU LEARNED

PLAY is our most natural mechanism for exploring the world and all its possibilities. Think about it: When a kid learns to play soccer, for example, he starts out simply by kicking the ball and having some fun (basic PLAY). As he gets a little older he gets into the game a bit more and starts to fantasize about be a famous soccer player (another form of PLAY). His dad may also have tried to teach him some technique (WORK), and he may even have picked up a little, but that isnt really where his interest lies and it isnt really where he develops the bulk of his skill. Later on, if he is still keen, he may well start to WORK on his technique so as he can PLAY the game better but for those who

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seek true mastery, PLAY and PLAYFULNESS are always primary:

There is a great deal of evidence that the road to mastery of any subject is guided by play. Learning a subject by rote can take one only so far. To become a master, the pupil has to go beyond what is known, and has to learn what has not been shown by others in the field
From Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul by Stuart Brown, M.D.

PLAY is absolutely essential for effective learning, as more and more researchers are discovering: Psychologist Stephen Siviy, a National Institute for Play Science adviser in the USA who studies rats has shown how bouts of PLAY affect the brains levels of certain genes that foster neuronal excitability and survival. He speculates

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that by strengthening connections between brain areas that might be weakly connected previously; PLAY also enhances the retention of knowledge. So, please let this sink in! Your life and learning began with PLAY before you knew how to WORK, you knew how to PLAY. And dont underestimate this:

PLAY was the means by which you learned to walk, talk and explore the basic concepts of reality. PLAY not work. PLAY.

Pure PLAY is wonderful. In pure PLAY you are unbounded from the rules and restrictions of society. You explore possibilities with a natural sense of fun and wonder but then something unfortunate happens as you grow up. As the you grow from child to adult you have a whole bunch of experiences and are told a whole bunch of stuff, by a whole bunch

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of different people, and you start to build a rulebook in your head that says what you can and cannot safely do. The more rules you discover the more pure PLAY becomes stifled. Bit by bit, you learn that life is serious and making mistakes is bad you learn not to PLAY. And through paradox the whole thing eats itself:

By learning not to play, you learn to stop learning.

Real learning, that is the type that leads to mastery. You see, for the most part human beings learn without awareness. The sheer volume of information we are required to take in and process moment by moment makes this necessary. Our conscious cognition can manage only a very small amount of simultaneous perception and processing.

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Knowing this is the key to deep accelerated learning, because it enables you to re-adapt to a more natural learning style. For ongoing learning without awareness to effectively take place, we need to be continually exposed to a multitude of new and different experiences in the real world, so as we can learn by observing, doing and making mistakes. This way we learn what works, when and why along with what doesnt. Then, to reach mastery and beyond we explore the exceptions and recreate the rules all over again. Now when it comes to social mastery and mastery with women, we already know some guys have it and some guys dont. Well, heres where this all starts to fit: All guys who are naturally socially charismatic and/or are naturals with women learned to be so through PLAY.

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Now we are not talking about the PickUp Artist here (though all the best Players really are PLAYERS), we are talking about naturals those guys for whom it seems to come easy (charm, wit, charisma effortless success). CAN YOU GUESS HOW THEY GOT THIS WAY?!? Thats right! They never stopped PLAYING, so they never stopped learning! So obviously, they got good! Very good! Its not rocket science really, but it is nevertheless something that most guys totally miss. PLAY is 100% necessary for natural learning and all mastery BUT THERE IS MUCH MORE TO IT THAN JUST THIS! And if you are thinking that you are already starting to get this PLAY thing, hold onto your seat because we havent even started yet.

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CHAPTER 4 CHARISMA, ATTRACTION & SOCIAL SKILL


Play is at the foundation of all personal relationships from everyday interactions to longterm love.
From Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul by Stuart Brown, M.D.

Now all this stuff about learning is great, but our primary purpose with THE LOST ART: RECOVERED is to get you to connect more fully with the value and attitude of PLAY so as you become more fun, more attractive, more

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seductive and more charismatic in your interactions with the opposite sex. For this, PLAY is more important than you could ever imagine! As a personal experiment, we invite you to observe the behaviour of anyone and everyone you know who is naturally successful with women (you know, the Casanova types), or is generally charismatic in social situations. Do this with an open mind and notice what you notice. Do they have fun? Do they enjoy themselves in what they do? OF COURSE THEY DO! Because they are PLAYING! Now compare this with the people you know who struggle in social situations and have difficulty connecting with the opposite sex. They are usually not having fun; they are a little bit uptight because the interaction for them is hard WORK!

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When you think about it, it is right in front of you. Simple! Obvious! Right? After all:

All work and no play make Jack a dull boy

And how many women, exactly, want to hook up with a dull boy? Have you ever read this in a personals profile? Jane, 23, attractive and slim, 56 blonde hair, WLTM boring, uptight guy with no sense of fun. Now all this stands to reason, right? We know this! Yet so many of us forget completely when we are either working hard to be attractive and likable, or worse, working hard to avoid rejection. But what is it that makes PLAY such a powerful cornerstone of attraction?

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From our research we have identified four main reasons: 1.PLAY demonstrates survival value 2.PLAY creates opportunities for personal connection 3.PLAY generates good feelings 4.PLAY keeps people on their toes Lets look at each one of these in turn.

SURVIVAL VALUE

OK, this is the Evolutionary Psychology (EP) bit. The way we are using the term here is a little bit different from how it would be used in pure EP. Essentially what we mean by survival value is: The overall perceived value of an individual in terms of their ability to survive and flourish in their environment.

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Now in simple terms, people want to hang out with people who have high survival value, because this positively affects their own ability to survive and thrive. So how does PLAYFUL interaction with women demonstrate high survival value in a man? Well, firstly, as we have seen, it demonstrates an ability to creatively learn and grow as an individual, which is good for increasing adaptation and survival potential overall. Secondly, we only PLAY when we feel safe, so PLAY communicates strongly that the PLAYER feels unthreatened by their environment and assured of their safety and even dominance. This applies especially to the social environment. As human beings we are social creatures and survival value is tied closely with out ability to position ourselves higher up social hierarchies (where we have a greater share of the resources). In the social environment, PLAY is a strong indicator of social intelligence the PLAYER must be socially intelligent after all, or how could he

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feel safe to break the rules and PLAY (and get away with it). Now this is great! By simply being more PLAYFUL when out with your friends, you will be automatically increasing your perceived and actual survival value JUST BY PLAYING! PLAY will push all of you to be stronger and more powerful men and be perceived as such by others. He who PLAYS first and most will have the highest value, but this value can only be improved if everyone is PLAYING. So do yourself a favour and surround yourself with the most PLAYFUL of men or at least make sure that the guys you spend time with are on the same journey as you to bring more and more PLAY into their lives.

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OPPORTUNITIES FOR PERSONAL CONNECTION

When we PLAY we let our guard down and express ourselves fully. People get to see more completely what we are like which creates more opportunity for empathy and for them to find points of connection. So in a sense PLAY gives people a ticket to judge you. Now for some, this is a truly horrifying thought, because their biggest fear is of being judged and sentenced as not good enough. Let us be clear now this is a devastating weakness in character! But there is a remedy. The remedy is to be clear about your standards and values in life and be sure you live up to them. Now we are aware that this is easily said and less easily done, but it can and must be done. It is outside of the scope of this book to go into more detail here, but in the last section we will tell you where to find out more about making such adjustments.

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Now, heres the killer thing When you give people a ticket to judge you, some of them wont like you! Thats right! Some wont like you! BUT THIS IS A GOOD AND NECESSARY THING! That may sound crazy, but to step fully into your natural charisma means that whilst the majority of people will like you more, and feel more drawn to you, a minority of people will be polarized the opposite way. Embrace this it is a worthwhile trade off! The people who dont get you will be those you wouldnt connect with anyway, so really there is nothing lost. But heres the cool thing about it: When you are truly PLAYING, it wont actually matter to you what people say or think because after all, you are just PLAYING! And this gives you a kind of get out of jail free card! (Well talk more about this later.)

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Not only do other people judge you and your actions differently when you are PLAYING than when you are not, but you will too. Its OK for them to say or think whatever they want because you dont take yourself as seriously in PLAY! This is about being selfamused. If you are genuinely amusing yourself in an appropriate way through genuine PLAY, then it simply does not matter to you what people think of you, and it will most likely even be funny to you from within your PLAY state especially because you realise there is no threat or damage done! (Again, more about this later.) And so what if someone doesnt get the game or want to PLAY? Maybe they are not in the mood, or maybe they are just a poor sport! SO YOU BRUSH IT OFF! If people act as if they dont like you while youre playing, STAY PLAYFUL. Dont let them f**k with you. Shrug it off:

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Well shes no fun Whats his problem? Grouchy! And you just continue to PLAY with or without them. AND PLAY YOU MUST if you wish to unleash the natural charisma of your authentic unstifled self! If this seems like an alien mindset to you at the moment, dont worry about it. It is just that you are not used to PLAYING at this level yet. When you get there, it will be cool you will have fun and get girls and generally lots more love from the world all around. The truth is that all people who are thought of as charismatic and attractive have at least a couple of people who dislike them for every dozen that totally love them. But, much more importantly is the fact that those who hide themselves achieve the

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indifference of almost everyone. So what do you want? A load of super adulation and a little bit of loathing, or general indifference across the board? If it is the latter, stop reading now, or man up a bit! It will do you good! Now, just to be sure this is all in perspective, please be 100% aware that while some people may say or act as if they dont like you while you are PLAYING, most will totally connect with you. When you PLAY people will love what they see in you and want to be a part of it. In essence by being PLAYFUL you are connecting with other people more often and more easily. Through PLAY you SHARE your PLAYFULNESS with others. Sharing is one the strongest behaviours of a PLAYFUL person. So you really have no choice but to SHARE your PLAYFULNESS if you wish to be genuinely charismatic and attractive!

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Before we move on, there is one last thing we need to share here sort of a consolation prize for those who feel uncomfortable with opening themselves up through PLAY and giving people that ticket to judge. By doing so, not only will most people find you more charismatic and attractive, but even the ones who say they dont like what they see will nonetheless recognise your power and presence! Your behaviour may offend their tastes and values, but they will clearly see your power and authority and this stuff overrules. So really, when you realise this, its a winwin however it pans out!

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GOOD FEELINGS

This one is really simple pure PLAY is fun and generates joy. Emotions are contagious too, so if you are enjoying yourself and having some fun, so long as it is not to the detriment of the other person, they will get drawn in and start to feel good too! Its a very real phenomenon that psychologists call Emotional Contagion. Think about when a small child comes bouncing into a room laughing. The PLAYFULNESS of the child instantly makes everyone feel good. And quite simply people like people who make them feel good! People (especially women) are stimulated by a whole range of emotions and PLAY is the most natural format for taking them through that range.

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By being PLAYFUL you are essentially SHARING good feelings. Through PLAY, you share the good feelings you have with the people around you. In the same way that sending a quick email can light up your friends day, sharing your good feelings through your PLAYFULNESS can have a massive impact on their day and thus their life as well! Not that they will necessarily tell you, but this is the kind of impact your friends will be seriously grateful for! At AttractionGames.com we will be sharing with you a whole load of specific games that you can PLAY in your interactions with women. These games are powerful, but more importantly they are fun to PLAY. Taken together many AttractionGames.com comprise a PLAY activity that is classically known as flirting. Flirting is powerful, and most powerful when it is a form of pure PLAY.

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Tatiana Antropova, a dating coach for women, puts it like this:

Playfulness is a source of being flirtatious. Flirt not to seduce but to engage in open, joyful and authentic adult PLAY.

And shes absolutely right!

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KEEPING THEM ON THEIR TOES

There is an old story, which may or may not be true, concerning a visit to a poultry farm by former U.S.A. President Calvin Coolidge and his wife. During the tour, Mrs. Coolidge inquired of the farmer how his farm managed to produce so many fertile eggs with such a small number of roosters. The farmer proudly explained that his roosters performed their duty dozens of times each day. Tell that to Mr. Coolidge quipped the First Lady. The President, overhearing the remark, asked the farmer: Does each rooster service the same hen each time? Oh no replied the farmer there are many hens for each rooster. Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge retorted the President.

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Its a great story (and a great example of PLAYFUL banter), but it also illustrates something that is true for all of us. It is most often put thus: Variety is the spice of life! Now, when we say variety, we are talking about staying interesting and avoiding the predictable by being able to demonstrate a full range of behaviours. This is important, because as soon as people have you pegged as soon as you are not surprising or challenging them anymore they tend to lose interest. A sad, but true fact of human life. PLAY is the perfect vehicle for taking people through a range of emotional experiences and keeping them a little off balance. It brings a little edginess into an interaction as it explores the boundaries of the interaction, and stops people habituating to your personality. Essentially, PLAY keeps YOU interesting!

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ARE YOU GETTING IT?

O.K. we have said enough about this the truth is you already know from your own experience that PLAY and PLAYFULNESS are apparent in the behaviours of those who socially adept and successful with women. And if you dont, well you may be a lost cause at this point. JUST KIDDING! (SeePLAY is FUN! ;)) You may already be starting to see the big picture here, and if youre already getting that Oh wow, I need to tell somebody about this! feeling then you are probably already starting to understand how PLAY is the key to your future outrageous success with women because through PLAYING and sharing this LOST ART, this is the future you have! But right now, as a first step towards that future, we need you to dig deep and get honest. We have a big question to ask you

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CHAPTER 5 THE BIG QUESTION


Hopefully you are starting to get a sense of the importance and significance of PLAY in becoming the kind of attractive and charismatic individual who gets the kind of women you want. But so far we have done all the talking. Now it is time for you to do something! With full sincerity, we would like for you to ask yourself the following question: For me, is interacting with women PLAY? Seriously, take a moment, look up from this text and reflect on this question fully. Really take some time to ponder it and consider your answer!

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Do it now! If you are not sure, here are some clues: you experience any fear or anxiety If in your interactions with women, you are NOT PLAYING. you spend a lot of time in your head, If wondering what she thinks of you, then you are NOT PLAYING. you are trying to impress her or make her If like you, you are NOT PLAYING. you need her validation in order to If have fun, you are NOT PLAYING. you feel under the shadow of rejection, If then you are NOT PLAYING. So what is your answer? If youre really having a hard time finding the absolute truth here, then you may want to get the opinion of some of your friends, because often

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our friends can see us more clearly than we can see ourselves. It is best to choose friends who see you out interacting with women or who you at least discuss your interactions with women with. Make sure they understand this concept of PLAY so that they can give you an appropriate answer. If you have a group of friends all interested in becoming more PLAYFUL, then it can be a good exercise to all estimate each others level of genuine PLAYFULNESS with women on a scale of 110. You can then take the average of all the estimates as a pretty good judge of how PLAYFUL you are actually being with women. Once you have your answer, the question becomes. Could you do with learning how to be more GENUINELY PLAYFUL with women? Would it be useful to you to be able to cut loose, have fun and build attraction effortlessly and easily

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and know that you can never lose and you can never fail! Thats right never lose and never fail! Sound too good to be true? Read on, my attractive and charismatic friend, read on!

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CHAPTER 6 PLAY VS. WORK


UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCE

If you want to achieve great things and have the life you want, WORK and PLAY are both equally important. Both WORK and PLAY are activities that produce results, but they function in very different ways. Here is a simple model for understanding the difference the key to which is motivation. WORK is any activity that moves towards a point of future, or deferred gratification. By this we mean that the motivation behind work is the thing that you get as a result of it. This could mean money, a nice garden, escape from pain, safety, status or anything that may be desired. PLAY is different in that the motivation is

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intrinsic in that the gratification is occurring moment by moment. At its most basic this is it: PLAY is activity undertaken for its own sake, whilst WORK is activity undertaken for the reward upon completion. Simple, right? And please read that over a couple of times and think about it, because it is going to be important in shifting your perspective and turning the WORK of getting women into fullon PLAY. Now our experience is that there are a few objections that people come up with when we share these definitions of WORK and PLAY, so well deal with these quickly now before we move on. Objection 1: You say that work is about delayed gratification, but plenty of people enjoy their work momentbymoment.

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Yes, this is true! You can PLAY while WORKING towards a goal. If you are enjoying your WORK momentby moment, then in that activity and at that time, your WORK has essentially become PLAY. So you can PLAY while in the pursuit of something grander and this is exactly that which we are proposing for your interactions with women PLAY in the pursuit of something grander. Objection 2: Lots of PLAY is outcome orientated the point is to win so the gratification is in the winning. If your primary motivation is anything other than your momentbymoment gratification, then you are WORKING. In other words, if at anytime during PLAY you become more concerned with winning than with your present enjoyment, then your PLAY has become WORK. Just because you are engaged in a game, doesnt mean you are PLAYING. Remember, we are talking about PLAY as an experience here. If, as we suggested

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earlier, you are PLAYING in the pursuit of something grander, then your outcome is a secondary to the immediate gratification you get from the PLAY experience. What is clear from the answers to these two common objections it that

WORK and PLAY can masquerade as each other!

And they often do! Know this and be aware of it! Later on we will be looking at how most pickup artist methodology is WORK dressed up as PLAY, so you will need to realize this to avoid falling into that trap yourself (which you will need to do if you wish to become a real natural with women). So now that we know the basic difference, lets go in a little deeper.

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WORK IS SURVIVAL, PLAY IS GROWTH

If you have read this far, it is clear that you are interested in growing in who you are as a person and especially growing in charisma and growing in attractiveness. Unfortunately this can never really happen in any kind of significant way, so long as you approach social connection from a WORK frame because work is essentially about survival, rather than growth (there are exceptions to this because we are evolved but we are going to keep it simple for now). For true personal growth we need PLAY, and to truly PLAY we need to be free from threats to our survival. Now lets start by making something clear: this is a rule of thumb and is only partly true! But the part that is true is the major part: PLAY is something that we do exclusively when we do not feel threatened! We simply cannot PLAY when we are afraid. When we are afraid there is the pressing need

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to attend to the WORK of making ourselves safe and secure. And this, of course, makes total sense. Think about it like this: How crazy would it be to PLAY if a crocodile was attacking you? How smart to just go PLAY when you are hungry with no obvious means of getting food, or facing a storm with no means of shelter? Not smart! So we only really PLAY when we feel safe enough to do so we only PLAY when we know that our basic survival needs are taken care of. (As we already mentioned, this is why PLAYING is a clear signal for high survival value.) The reason that so many guys cant PLAY in their interactions with women is that they unconsciously perceive these interactions as a survival threat! When we know we are safe, we become free to PLAY and through PLAY we learn and

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grow and develop (and become attractive and charismatic). How, explicitly though, does PLAY contribute to your growth? Through PLAY you have more new experiences that are outside of your normal sphere of experiences. You are having more of these new experiences through PLAY because PLAY allows you to feel a sun sense of curiosity.

Curiosity is fun, because it leads us to new discoveries and visions of things we have not yet thought of.
From The Gift of Play: Why Adult Women Stop Playing and How to Start Again by Barbara Brannen

When you have new experiences through PLAY new neurology is generated in your

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brain. Protein synthesis occurs creating new neural synaptic connections offering you new and wider associations with which to interpret the world. Without PLAY, the number of new experiences you have is minimal and thus you stay safely inside the associative neural network that already exists in your brain. It is sort of like Yoga. In Yoga you stretch, strengthen and improve balance well beyond what you would normally need, so when you return to normalcy you are of considerably advanced flexibility, strength and balance. Through PLAY you increase your social flexibility, strength and balance beyond where you would be able to do it without. This is what we mean by WORK is survival, PLAY is growth. There is a more practical issue at hand though when PLAYING for growth rather than WORKING for survival.

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CHAPTER 7 PLAY MAKES IT EASY TO WIN


Unless you are already satisfied in your social relationships and relationships with women, reconnecting with PLAY is 100% worthwhile. And maybe you have already made the decision! Great stuff! However, to let go enough to really play again, most people need to know for sure that it is safe for them to do so that by learning to PLAY on balance you can only really win. So lets get this out of the way so you can really start playing!

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THE DISAPPEARANCE OF FEAR & ANXIETY

When we feel threatened it manifests as the primal emotions of fear and anxiety. You cannot PLAY in a state of fear or anxiety because these emotions are mutually exclusive to PLAY! Now this is interesting and tells us why many guys dont PLAY in their interactions with women because they somehow feel threatened on a survival level! But why should they? They are not going to actually die just because a woman doesnt laugh at their jokes or they socially flop! This is true today, but not so far back in human history, being a social screwup really could have meant the end! To understand this, you need to realize that human beings are social creatures who organize themselves in groups through hierarchies of power and status. Being low power and low status means a reduced

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access to survival resources (and in the worst case scenario, outcast). Now, before the advent of the welfare state, this would have been a real issue and would literally lead to suffering resulting in death. Even in todays society, it can still lead to much psychological suffering, even if basic survival needs are met. But if this is so why doesnt everyone feel fear or anxiety when talking to attractive members of the opposite sex? Guys who naturally and fearlessly interact with attractive women do so for two reasons: 1.They are PLAYING and PLAY is mutually exclusive to fear and anxiety. 2.Through their early PLAY they have developed highly functional social and romantic skills that replaces survival risk with survival reward. On the flipside, guys who feel fear or anxiety while interacting with attractive women do so

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for the inverse two reasons: 1.They are NOT PLAYING and thus susceptible to fear and anxiety. 2.They stopped playing in their social interactions when they were young and thus they stopped learning social and romantic skills. This lack of skill contributes to a perceived survival risk during social interactions. As we explained above, nowadays such perceived fear or anxiety is mostly irrational. However, for many guys, its still there. The pick up artist solution to this problem is to reverse engineer the behaviours of fearless men and then to teach these behaviours to guys who experience fear. Students of pickup take these techniques on in a conscious and mechanical fashion and if they WORK hard enough through this clunky and unnatural process, they can in fact make the square pegs fit into round holes and get some progress.

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We say square pegs and round holes because every guy is different, so the technique one natural comes up with through his own natural learning in PLAY, might not be something YOU would have come up with if you had been learning through PLAY as well. Therefore to take on his behaviour in such a WORK fashion may feel like fitting a square peg into a round hole. If youve learned some pickupartist techniques already, you can certainly relate to the feeling of doing or saying things that just dont feel like you. Sure, sometimes this may simply be because the ideas are new to you, but more often than not it is because it really isnt something YOU would say or do! It doesnt fit with YOUR unique style of PLAY and does not arise from the depths of your true character and values. Now, we said before that it would not be very smart to PLAY while being attacked by a crocodile yet for some crazy Australian nutters, Crocodile wrestling is PLAY

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because they are confident enough in their skills to believe they are safe! To borrow this as a metaphor: Some people have the skills to wrestle the social crocodile as PLAY, whilst for others it is a straight matter of survival. Now the reason that this crocodile metaphor is useful is this: There is a certain risk involved in learning to wrestle a crocodile, and to learn you need to manage your fears a little and get in there and do it. Thankfully, this metaphor breaks down as soon as you realise that whilst a crocodile can really bite your head off, a women can only do so metaphorically. :) So in learning to PLAY in your interactions with women, the risk really is minimal (especially compared with crocodile wrestling) whilst the reward is MASSIVE (again, especially compared with crocodile wrestling).

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Now that you understand that anxiety and fear is mutually exclusive to PLAY, let us make sure you understand that this cuts both ways. In other words, when you are in a true PLAY STATE, you cannot feel fear or anxiety! When you are truly PLAYING, fear and anxiety disappear completely!

WHEN YOU PLAY, YOU CANNOT FAIL

Nobody likes to fail. Failing is a bad thing, right? Well sometimes it is! Sometimes when we fail, bad things happen. We lose our income, we lose our home we lose our life. Essentially failure is bad when it threatens or inhibits survival (either our own, or those we care about). Now we have already looked a little at survival, so we already know that basic survival is the domain of WORK, not PLAY. PLAY is about growth, learning and connection, and this means:

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When you truly PLAY, you cannot fail!

To understand this better, lets go a little further into the concept of PLAY. According to Stuart Brown M.D., founder of the U.S. National Institute of Play, the basic properties of PLAY are approximately thus: Apparently Purposeless (done for its own sake) Voluntary Inherent Attraction Freedom from Time Diminished Consciousness of Self Improvisational Potential Continuation of Desire Youll notice that the first point is noted as apparently purposeless we have already

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covered the value of PLAY as a means for learning and growing as well as a means for relating socially. The major point is that, from a motivational perspective

PURE PLAY is done for its own sake.

So essentially, when you PLAY, you PLAY you grow, you learn, you develop, yes... but most of all you HAVE FUN (this is the inherent attraction that is also on the list). As long as you are PLAYING, you are succeeding in PLAYING. You cannot fail because you are always achieving your primary result to PLAY! And sometimes you achieve an overt secondary result too! WHICH IS A BONUS! To understand this, lets consider the two types of PLAY:

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1.PURE PLAY directionless! 2.GOAL PLAY directionalised! PURE PLAY is anything that is done for purely for its own sake and is directionless. Examples of PURE PLAY might be freestyle dancing or PLAYING with a slinky and enjoying the feeling of the movement. GOAL PLAY is a little different in that it has an overt direction, like a signpost but the goal is NOT the primary motivator for action. The goal is secondary at best. In GOAL PLAY, the goal is part of the PLAY but it is NOT the primary motivator. (Because play is primarily done for its own sake!) Examples of GOAL PLAY could include building a sandcastle, gambling, football, completing a crossword or making girls smile! To really get the difference between GOAL

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PLAY and WORK, consider this example: Phil and Bob are PLAYING tennis. They both want to win the match this is their goal. For Phil, winning is everything. It means everything to him because if he loses, hell feel like a loser and that he has lost face, whereas if he wins, hell feel powerful and that his personal worth is validated. For Phil, he is so wrapped up in beating Bob and so full of anxiety that he might not, that winning this game of tennis has become his primary motivator for engagement and thus his engagement is WORK. Bob wants to win too (that is, after all, the objective of the game), but if he doesnt its no biggy. He enjoys the strategy and the movement and feeling his own athleticism regardless of whether or not he wins and he enjoys this above and beyond winning the game. Bob is truly PLAYING tennis. Bob probably enjoys life a lot more too! So let us reiterate this very important point:

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When PLAY is primarily done for its own sake, that is, when you are really PLAYING YOU CANNOT FAIL!!! With PURE PLAY this is literally true 100% through and through. With GOAL PLAY (such as Bobs experience of the tennis match) you could argue that you could fail to achieve the goal but so long as you are REALLY PLAYING this is of little consequence as it is only an ASPECT of PLAY rather than the true purpose of it. If the GOAL (usually through some kind of neurotic imaginings) has been elevated to primary motivator, however then your GOAL has become your primary outcome and you are in the world of WORK. In the world of WORK, you are subject to failure and success. With WORK, you either succeed in your outcome or you fail.

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With PLAY, you undertake it for its own sake, so as long as you enjoy it, you cannot fail. So how about that?! There is no failure in PLAY! Which means you are free to PLAY in safety, knowing that failure just isnt an issue when you internalise this understanding! Now this is big, but come closer we have something even bigger and better

WHEN YOU PLAY, YOU CANNOT LOSE

Ok, hang on there a moment! This is too far of course you can lose when you PLAY! Bob can still lose his tennis match even if he is PLAYING and fully enjoying every moment! Bear with us this is going to make sense and it is going to help you to really PLAY in the way that really builds social charisma and attraction.

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The concept of losing is a concept that is borrowed from life, and erroneously applied to the form of structured PLAY we call games!

According to the Online Etymology Dictionary the word lose comes from the Old English word losian, meaning to be lost, to perish, destruction which in turn comes from the from the ProtoGermanic lausa the breaking up of an army. The transitive sense of the verb to part with accidentally is from c.1200 and the meaning to be defeated (in a game, etc.) dates only from the 1530s. So, interestingly, the word lose was only introduced into the vocabulary of PLAY or games some 480 years ago. (If this seems like a long time, consider that human beings have been walking the earth for about half a million years.) Now that is all very interesting, but really, the word is not so important as the concept it represents.

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In life, when we lose something, it means that we no longer have something that we once had: I lost my wallet, I lost my way, I lost control, I lost consciousness etc. And when this thing is something we valued, we feel impoverished by the loss. Hence: Losing and loss are bad things that make us feel bad, and are as such to be avoided! So heres the question: If losing means not having something you once had, how can you lose in a game or in PLAY? You cannot lose the victory, because you never had it to lose in the first place! If you PLAY a game of make the girl laugh what exactly is there to lose? If your answer is my selfesteem or my reputation then you are definitely not PLAYING, you are WORKING, because in your worldview these things have a survival value attached to them.

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Now, we need to point out that, in PLAY, there is an exception to this rule Extreme Play and Dangerous Sports. This would include stuff like Tombstoning, Balconing, Parkour, Climbing, Rugby Crocodile Wrestling. In games like these you could lose elements of your health, including your life BUT THIS IS NOT LOSING THE GAME!!! This is losing something else entirely something in real life! Now some may try and argue: Well, isnt this all just semantics? The answer to that is simply NO. If you pay attention to top sports performers and athletes, they mostly dont use the word lose and lost and if they do, they certainly dont think of themselves as losers. Top performers are much less likely to say:

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I lost, but And much more likely to say: I didnt win this time, but There is a reason for this:

The connotations that come with the word lose those parts and parcel of the broader concept are psychologically incompatible with PLAY and high performance.

Just as it is so with fail, when you really PLAY and are really PLAYING, you cannot lose because you are always attaining the primary outcome to PLAY! You could lose the state of PLAY, but thats it! And so long as you keep genuinely PLAYING that just isnt a problem. Real PLAYERS can certainly win, but even

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when they dont win

they dont lose, instead they simply dont win!

Remember this and get acquainted with it! This is not just semantics; this is about mindset and state two essential elements to grasp if you really want to PLAY fully in your interactions with women!

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YOU CAN BE FEARLESS & YOU CAN WIN

We talked about the fact that you CANNOT fail in PLAY, that you CANNOT lose in PLAY and that you can only WIN in PLAY We talked about how when you are truly PLAYING, fear and anxiety disappear all together. And we talked about how when you are truly PLAYING, your learning of reactivates so that you become naturally skilled both socially and romantically. Cool huh?!? You can do this you can get into a PLAY STATE and then take it into the situations you need it and you can have fun! The more you do it, the better you get until before you know it you are having a ball wrestling that croc into submission.

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CHAPTER 8 WORKING FOR WOMEN


WORKING FAILURE
Version 1 Work Avoidance

You walk into a bar with your friend and spot her immediately stunning and dressed to impress. Shes perfect. Shes chatting with a friend but there are two empty seats, so you could join them But maybe youll just go to the bar first, and get some liquid courage in. You order your shot of choice and one for your friend. You say to your friend dont look now, but check out those two at the corner table He looks!

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I said dont look! What do you reckon? Yeh, theyre nice! Your conversation continues, and you both keep on looking at them whilst trying not to. By now they have noticed you, but not in a good way. They know that you are interested in them, but you are lacking the personal resources to just act on your interest. You have just marked yourself out as low status and low value. So you wanted the girl but you didnt get her. You can try and make yourself feel better by telling yourself that you didnt really try, but the truth is to go and talk to her would have been hard WORK for you at best. So you didnt get what you wanted you failed!
Version 2 Work

This time you get up enough courage to approach! You wonder up, trying to appear

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casual, and deliver a line of introduction. She smiles awkwardly and says hello. You offer to buy her and her friend a drink. She thanks you but declines, saying No thanks. Were just having a sort of private catch up this evening. You wish them a pleasant evening and leave. You knew your outcome and you took action! Highly commendable! Unfortunately though, once again, the outcome was not attained. Failure.
Version 3 Hard Work

So now youve studied some game you know the tactics, you know the lines. This time when you walk into the bar, you are ready you have done several warm up approaches in the previous bar and are on a roll and comfortable with your canned

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opener! This is all going to be routine and by the numbers. As you scan the bar, full of confidence your heart misses a beat as you spot the most incredible looking girl you have seen in a while. Shes laughing with her friends and has a great vibe about her. You know you have to approach but for a moment the two of you freeze. You have to do it, NOW before your three seconds are up! F**k it. GO! Done! You kick yourself into gear and start walking towards her. As you approach you adjust your posture and gait with each step to communicate the confidence you want them to believe you have. Hey guys Hows it going? Listen, I need to be quick, cause Ive got to get back to my friends but I would really appreciate getting your opinion on something Two of the girls turn to you right away. The

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other two slowly stop talking as you set the context for the opinion question. The game is on. One of the girls gives her opinion, keen to go into detail. Then another so far, not your target though. You turn to her and say What about you? She looks up at you and smiles; then looks back towards her friends as she begins to answer. Was the smile an indicator of interest? The group of girls have fully opened to you now, and some pleasant chat ensues at last you begin to really relax. Then suddenly your target hits you with a sarcastic comment. It catches you offguard and rattles you a bit your smile wavers then grows tight as your scramble in your thoughts for the right retort but it doesnt come. So you hide your discomfort with another stock question:

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So, how do you guys know each other? You get an answer, but the vibe is different now. It somehow isnt flowing as it was before and you start to find yourself thinking that you perhaps dont look as confident as you did a moment ago. Shit, is this still WORKING? you wonder to yourself. Your girl is speaking to you now, but distracted with your thoughts you miss what shes saying. She notices that youre not paying attention and turns towards her friend while you talk at her. The vibe has definitely changed and suddenly you feel as if youre hovering over them rather than having a conversation with them. Everything spirals down degrades and dies. You walk away from them, avoiding eye contact with the hot girl you wanted, having failed and feeling a bit deflated but not to worry! You have learned to frame such experiences productively and this is what you

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do! You remind yourself that every failure is a learning opportunity and you ask yourself What went wrong? Thinking back through the approachthe chat up linethe conversation AhhhI should have said X when she said Y! Having successfully identified the cause for your failure and noted the lesson, you relax a little though still not feeling quite as good as you did before. But you know what needs to be done so you shake it off and get yourself feeling strong ready to power through any fear and approach the next attractive target you find.

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WORKING SUCCESS

She comes through the door and stands in line/queue next to you at a caf. There are about five people ahead of you, so you calculate that youve got about two minutes to say something to her or youll miss your chance. Not having the time to think of what to say, you just open your mouth. Have you ever had the mocha here? you ask her. No she says looking at you a bit strangely. Why? OK, conversation has engaged. Promising! You chat a bit, get your coffees and inviting her to a table, she agrees. Shes incredibly hot, so you run through the gamut of stuff youve learned to do from the many books, DVDs, PDFs and courses you have studied on dating and attraction techniques. You even show her some games like talking about a horse and a box floating

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over a dessert and how her interpretation of it describes her inner psyche and she loves it! Its working! you think! Youre on a roll but youve finished your coffees and you need to go. Time to get her number! You unleash your best line for getting girls telephone numbers your timing and form are perfect and on queue, she writes it down for you. Make sure you call me! she says as you part company out in front of the caf. And so, the next afternoon, thats just what you do. You chat briefly on the phone and you make plans to meet for dinner on Friday. When you hang up you wonder if things were a bit lacklustre compared with when youd met, but you shrug it off as irrelevant as she agreed to meet and youll be seeing her in a few days anyway.

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Before Friday, you do a little more work via text messaging, building the anticipation and layering on some of your best text message techniques to keep her hooked. She responds nicely indicating her interest so you get to feel pretty good your game is really working. Working perfectly, in fact on Friday she arrives as promised, dressed to kill and happy to see you. Throughout the dinner, your conversation is going great. Previously, at the caf, you had barely scratched the surface of your dating techniques knowledge set, and now you are fully on a roll. You have her laughing. You are touching her hands over the table, watching her response. She touches you backthree times exactly. You know that a change of venue is the best strategy at the end of dinner, so you suggest moving to a bar nearby and she agrees. Things continue to escalate at the bar and at one point, heading off for the toilet, you consider your success thus far. Knowing that she will be watching you, you

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adjust your posture and gait as you go ensuring the way you walk matches the image you have carefully built so far. The evening moves on, and shes a little tipsy. So are you, but not too much to miss that it is time to start interweaving subtle sexual language into your conversation. She takes the bait; giving you enough indications of her interest to green light a kiss outside as you leave the bar. The kiss begins the final chain of escalation that takes you together into a taxi, through her front door onto her bed where ultimately, after a little push and pull she yields! Sex! Result! This is what you had worked for and you are about to get it! For a moment, you just feel good and think: This is awesome. I did it. This stuff works! But then you realize youre not done yet nearly, but not quite. You just need to make sure you get the last bit right so that she

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knows you are the real deal. For a moment you start to lose your state, but then you get back on top of it gotta make sure you stay hard and dont cum to quickly. Now shes riding you, and your staying focused and youre doing a good job! You look up from her breasts for a moment to see her face filled with sexual bliss. You are the man! As you are silently congratulating yourself your mind gets pulled forward, into the future, wondering if this will continue with her, because goddamn shes hot and you so want it to. What should I do next? you wonder. After the sex you relax a little bit. You did it! Your game worked and you got to fuck this VERY hot girl. But somehow you dont feel as good as you should. Inside there are mixed emotions something isnt quite right. You put on a good front, of course, and largely push it out of your mind (it is what you have worked

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to be able to do), but on some level you know something is missing. And deep down you know what it is you feel like a bit of a fraud! Or maybe a LOT of a fraud! Either way, it isnt nice. Are you just a master of illusion? Like a magician who during the show fills his audience with wonder yet is left backstage afterwards bent over his box of tricks, sad, lonely and depressed because they love him for his lies? But you push it away Fuck that. Stop being a dick. I did good and Ill figure the rest out. And we are sure that you will! The above story may not apply for you at all and at the same time you are reading this book right now because you already know that whether you are succeeding or failing there is something of profound significance missing from what you are doing at the moment.

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After all, you want to be the real deal, right? You want to be naturally attractive, charismatic, and socially adept for real! YES, right? You dont want to get what you want because you have gotten good at concealing your true self behind a veneer of strategy and techniques because that takes hard work! And it is the kind of WORK that is only ever partially rewarding at best. Regardless of whether you fail or succeed if you are thinking in those terms, you are thinking (and as a consequence, acting) from a WORK frame. Now you can do additional work to reframe failure as feedback (which is useful to do) but this is just more WORK to make your WORK work better! Conceptually speaking, success and failure are the key conceptual drivers behind all work

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these in turn generate motivation emotions desire for success and fear of failure.

FEAR AND DESIRE

From a social perspective, unfettered fear and desire are both markers of low status and low value. Fear suggests lack of survival skills. Desire that cannot be immediately realised suggests difficulty in getting what you want. Now this can seem a little rich conceptually, but think about it! Why do people generally avoid announcing their innermost desires publicly, to random strangers? Why is uncontrolled desire perceived as a weakness? Because instinctively we know that desire that cannot be immediately realized is all about wanting something that you dont have, and in that moment cannot have!

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It highlights a lack of something and suggests a difficulty in getting it. (There is a time to surrender to your desire for a women a time when it will help rather than hinder you but if that desire consumes you at any point before it can be expressed, it will pull you into a WORK frame.) Fear is easier to understand. People fear that which threatens them and they cant control. Now lets be clear we are not suggesting that work is bad. WORK, along with PLAY, is an essential part of a rewarding life filled with good things. What we are suggesting is that working for women is bad. Let us clarify: Working for money is O.K. Working to create is fine too! Working for a lifestyle? Definitely. Working for women NO! (Just in case its not obvious, we dont mean you shouldnt have a woman as a boss. We

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mean you shouldnt WORK in your interactions with a woman to have her in your life or your bed.) If women sense that they are being worked for, this is bad because they automatically know that you are not of their status. If you keep up the illusion, where does it end? Are you going to WORK all your life? Wouldnt you prefer to be able to relax and just let go and have her want you for who you are rather than who you are working to be? Ultimately there is only one answer only one sustainable solution. You must recapture PLAY and rediscover and refine your PLAY PERSONALITY.

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CHAPTER 9 PLAYING WITH WOMEN


NATURAL SUCCESS

Youre out with your two guy friends with whom you have already shared your thinking on the value of PLAY. The three of you are walking down the street, laughing and having a good time. In the distance you see two attractive girls walking towards you and before they even get close you raise your arm up over your head and wave at them. They both smile and one waves. You skip forward towards them and with genuine and spontaneous curiosity you ask, Hey, where are you going? Main Street Bar, the girl who waved responds.

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Oh shit, that place burned down! you say, smiling an amused smile. Haha yeah right, one of them says laughing. Yeah, seriously! We were going to go there, but now were going to Groove Bar instead. You should come with us, because its going to be way more fun there. This is fun you are in the moment and enjoying yourself 100%. And because youre having fun you naturally communicate that with every part of how you are in that moment the bounce in your step, the naturalness in your laughter, the light energy in your voice tone and intonation. Every word you say, every gesture, coming from a place of PLAYFULNESS the very same PLAYFULNESS that carried the fun and conversation with your friends a just moment before. The two girls look towards each, discuss the options with their eyes, and then turn back at you and smile.

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Yeah, OK sure. They came out this evening to have a good time, so the attraction to genuine PLAY is powerful and off you all go together. At the bar you continue to PLAY with your friends, PLAY with the girls and PLAY with other people around you. The two girls end up locked in conversation with two of your friends, which you dont even notice because you are PLAYING with another girl who got pulled into the fun. You notice your friends are getting on great with the two original girls, which is awesome! And you feel good about making this happen in the same way that you enjoy sharing all the new things you discover with your friends, you enjoy knowing that your PLAYFULNESS has brought the group of them together

and you have moved on deep in PLAY

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with another girl, enjoying an easy banter. Momentbymoment, pure joy and pleasure. By the end of the night you are PLAYING exclusively with an especially beautiful girl with a wonderful energy that you enjoy. She had come over and said hello after watching you conversing PLAYFULLY with a mixed group of guys and girls the moment they arrived at the bar pulled in by PLAY GRAVITY. She likes PLAYING with you and you like PLAYING with her. Youre not thinking about what to say or what to do, its all just taking care of itself. Now you are really enjoying this you enjoy playing and you are becoming aware that you are finding her attractive on several levels. And you already know there are some more intimate games that the two of you can PLAY. There is nothing in your mind but fun, pleasure, what you like about her and what she is saying and doing. Youre having fun. Shes having fun. You say ridiculous stuff and she laughs.

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As part of the fun congruent with the moment you allow your bantering to become directly sexual. It is a shift towards more intimate PLAY, which springs from a desire to PLAY in that way a desire that is immediately expressed and realized. She responds to the natural shift and enjoys this new and more intimate level. She touches you because she wants to and she can you have reached a deep and real level of connection! You tease her and she teases you back. She pulls you close and you say Whoa, are you trying to kiss me? We just met! teasing her because it is fun. She dips back away and in a softer, sexy voice you say, Im kidding, come here. As your lips connect you melt into a familiar comfort. As you slip into the taxi with her, she laces her fingers through yours on the seat and pulls you towards her, your arm rubbing her breast. WhoaI just touched your tit, you say jokingly. She laughs

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and pulls you on top of her. Back in her apartment you kiss her standing up, walking each other from wall to wall, until finally you are on her bed where you fuck all passion, all desire pure joyno thoughts or insecurities. You enjoy all of her her breasts, her ass, her eyes, her laugh, her quirky commentsand you relish in how much JOY and how much pleasure you are having right now in this moment! Looking up at her face and into her eyes filled with sexual bliss, you feel even more fully drawn into this moment because it is real! Everything you feel Everything she feels Everything that you are Everything that she is Real! And because it is real, tomorrow, if you want both want it you will have it again.

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You flip her on her back, sit up facing her, and while f**king her you experience complete bliss. Afterwards, when you have both come like crazy, you roll apart, feeling just incredible. And because you know how different it could have been, you cant help thinking: Oh man, I so love to PLAY with women! Now the evening may not have PLAYED out that way it could have played out in an almost infinite number of endings. But heres the thing However it PLAYED OUT, you would have had a great time, learned effortlessly and people and women would have been naturally drawn to you! And that is just the way it should be!

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LETTING THINGS PLAY OUT

Theres another thing you must understand if you want to grow naturally in your success with women. If you are using a work style approach with women, then you have an outcome and a direct strategy for acquiring her. To PLAY you need to let go of outcomes and direct strategies for attaining women. The strategic and tactical approach to dating women is about doing X, Y and Z techniques to get the girl. I want THAT girl and if I do THESE things correctly then I will get her! Such a WORK frame can work but in the next section well explain why PLAY is actually more effective in getting what you really want. For now we want to point out that characteristic of the WORK frame is this tendency to want to control all steps of the interaction and thus control and guarantee

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your acquisition. In a sense, success in this kind of WORK would be an infallible ability to acquire any particular female at any time and anywhere you wish. Now, not only is this not realistic, but it is also counterproductive. Failing to recognise and accept that you are fallible and that women are independent human beings with an infinite number of capabilities and response potentials is just burying your head in a quicksand of delusion. The reality is that working to achieve such success with women in this way as we will discover in the next chapter just doesnt work well in comparison. Through PLAY there will necessarily be some uncertainness in which women you will actually end up with. However, through PLAY you will certainly be interacting with MORE women. And because your PLAYFUL interactions will make you more naturally attractive, these interactions will MORE frequently lead to the kinds of experiences

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you want with women. If you want to get laid, then through PLAY you will get laid more often. If you want a girlfriend, then through PLAY you will more quickly and easily find an amazing girlfriend. Howeverthrough PLAYyou wont know for sure which woman or women will end up fulfilling these desires. You will certainly have a say in the process. Its not like PLAY is so powerful that women will attack you and practically rape you. (Actually, we have seen that happen before) The point is that in PLAY you must be willing to let go of your direct outcome. You must be willing to accept the UNCERTAINTY in whether or not you will get HER number whether or not you will go home with THAT girl whether or not SHE will become you girlfriend.

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OK, we realize that nobody likes to hear this part of the story. But I want what I want! And I want THAT girl! You need to trust us here, at least in the beginning. You are much more likely to get THAT girl if you PLAY with her rather than WORK for her. The reason for this is another example of how PLAY makes you more attractive. When you have a direct outcome (I want THAT girl), this is subtly communicated to everyone around you. When your actions are obviously CONTROLLED by your emotional desire, you automatically seen as weak. However, when you are truly PLAYING, you are NOT attached to a direct outcome and thus you are accepting uncertainty. Accepting uncertainty is powerful. A strong man is one who can be guided by his desires and at the same time present and

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emotionally strong enough to not be enslaved by them to not be controlled by them. This is another example of our first reason PLAY makes you more attractive emotional strength and presence are very critical elements of survival value. Let things PLAY OUT by accepting some uncertainty in your future with women, both longterm and in the moment, and you will notice yourself becoming more PLAYFUL and thus more attractive.

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CHAPTER 10 FROM GAME TO GAMES


If you have taken action to improve your abilities with women, you deserve the proper recognition and proper respect for that. You may have read books like The Game along with much of the output from countless Pick Up gurus, and maybe even taken some action and improved your skills and options. Let us be clear This is all good stuff! You are on a journey, and everything that has helped you along the way is valid and valuable and for it to be so it will have necessarily lead to shifts in your worldview!

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A NEW WORLDVIEW

To move from Game to games, you need to change the way you think about things you will need to shift your worldview. But what does this mean? As human beings, we are essentially, above all else, sophisticated meaningmakers. This means that each of us develop a psychological map of how things are in the world, and it is this map that we unconsciously reference moment by moment in deciding what is best to do next. How useful and appropriate our map or our worldview is in any given context will govern how useful or appropriate our behaviour is. And when we talk about behaviour, we are talking about ALL behaviour, all the way down to subtle micro behaviours, which is the main communication channel a woman uses to access the truth about the kind of person you are what you are really thinking and feeling! When we are kids, we initially explore the world and its possibilities through PLAY

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this is how we begin to build our worldview. Then we learn language and we start to additionally learn from what we are told (both verbally and nonverbally) by others. Our worldview develops! Then we reach adulthood, and we think we know how things are we think we know the truth of a lot of things. Mostly, our worldviews serve us well enough but in other areas they let us down. So heres the brutal truth: If you do not have the kinds of relationships you want with the kind of women you want, it is your worldview thats hurting you! SO YOU NEED TO CHANGE IT! And we know you can youve read which tells us that you are you are open to learning and change, which in itself means that you are willing to let your worldview soften enough to revise it.

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Now, concerning worldviews, many of you will have heard the adage: The map is not the territory! This is a way of saying that our worldview is simply how we understand life, the universe and everything, rather than how those things actually are (the truth about reality is in most cases is probably too complex to know, so we build a functional model of it instead). Our worldview governs how we function in life and thus ultimatelyour worldview governs what we get. Please do read that over a few times and understand how we understand things at the deepest level is everything. Now it is important to understand that our worldviews develop, stage by stage, from early infancy to adulthood and hopefully through to being exactly the kind of person we want to behaving the kind of life we want to have.

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Remember thisWORLDVIEW DEVELOPS STAGE BY STAGE! Your understanding of the world needs to change for you to be free to grow. As Brad Blanton puts it, in his book Radical Honesty:

Todays liberating insight is tomorrows jailhouse of stale thinking!

The point is to keep learning, developing and growing keep sharing ideas and PLAYING because YOU CAN and there is a kind of person you want to be attractive, charismatic, happy, centred And the quickest way to get there is through PLAY and PLAYING with the way you think about things; to make sure your worldview doesnt go stale! Keep it fresh PLAY!

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MOST PICK UP ARTIST CONCEPTS ARE WORK CONCEPTS

If you have endeavoured with much of the strategic and tactical dating advice available on the market, then you have likely taken a WORK approach to improving your skills with women. It may have even taken you forward and yet you know that something is still missing. If you examine the concepts upon which most of the dating advice for men (aka PUA) are based, you will find that they operate from a WORK frame. This isnt easy to see when you are inside of it, because these concepts are what you are seeing through. But if you examine the terminology used, you will begin to get a sense for it. Firstly there is talk of approach. Approach is an interesting word, suggesting caution and strategic evaluation. Now we exercise caution in the face of potential danger so we are back in the survival frame!

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Now you may argue: Yeh, but that is just semantics. Well, heres the news semantics is everything, because semantics is the study of meaning, and once again How we make meaning drives our behaviours and choices! Words carry connotations that cut deep. Because of this when we change the way we describe things, we change our choices and we change our results. It may seem innocuous to talk about approaching, but each time you do, you subtly reinforce, at an unconscious level, the belief that there is some form of risk or danger. And you cannot PLAY where you perceive there to be risk and danger! A further look at the lexicon of PUA reveals that much of the language is reminiscent of the most basic form of survival WORK combat and war:

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AntiSlut Defence, Bitch Shield, Disarm, Field Report, Hired Guns, Target, Wing Man etc.

And much else reflects a practical and structured approach to achieving an outcome (i.e. WORK): Compliance Testing, Compliance Momentum, Canned Material, Demonstration of Higher Value (DHV), Demonstration of Lower Value (DLV), Emotional Stimulation, False Time Constraint, FMAC (Find, Meet, Attract, Close) etc. Now we are not saying that these concepts are wrong or bad many of them contain absolutely useful ideas. Let it be said that we VERY much believe the Pick Up Artist community has done MUCH MORE good for guys than it has anything else. The inherent strive for personal growth and how open everyone in the community is to sharing new ideas with each other has been

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an asset to so many men on this earth. But what we are saying is that there is a downside to the overall framing and mindset Pickup unconsciously orients you towards WORKING for women! Now, some may dismiss this and point out that there is also terminology that references PLAY. This is true, but on closer examination we find the frame to be corrupted. For example in PUA, one who is successful may be called a Player or be said to be proficient in Game. At one point in time, these terms may have accurately represented a form of PLAY (In this sense, demonstrating again the fundamental power of PLAY in attraction and your growth in skill with women). As it is now, however, the content elements of game, and the strategies and behaviour of the Players are almost exclusively shaped by workbased concepts. And we have already looked at some of the lexicon words

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that speak of strategy towards outcome for the sake of the outcome. AKA WORK! And to recapture PLAY, this needs to shift.

FROM WORK TO PLAY

So we have looked a little at the conceptual lexicon of classic PUA.

What is missing in almost every concept and every metaphor is any sign of the key element of PLAY: FUN!

Today, most players and men who game women are operating from a position of success and failure. They tend to strategize, measure their progress, consciously analyze, and endeavour endlessly to improve through reason and research all hallmarks of WORK.

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Now were not doing down WORK working on your skills can be a good thing! But working for women definitely is not! All the best pickup guys are the ones who learn to PLAY in spite of the mindset of the pick up world! The ones who have transcended the Game and transitioned into PLAY. When you are WORKING to learn game, the work is generally hard and needs to be sustained over long periods of time in order to get results. After a time you can get a sort of momentum up that carries you through, but it can be exhausting and slow process battling through the approach anxiety and faking PLAY while doing WORK. So you can learn and grow through work, no question but ultimately you will NEED to learn to really PLAY. And waiting will only slow you down, because whilst you can grow through WORK, as we have already seen your skill growth through WORK will be multitudes slower than it would be through incorporating true PLAY.

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THE UPWARD SPIRAL

If you are not currently where you want to be with women, you undoubtedly are keen to grow fast. Through PLAY you grow your social skills much more rapidly and creatively, and by doing so create many more of the high quality reference experiences you need to become who you want to be. And because you are having these references experiences in an optimum learning state the PLAY state this feeds back into your skill base naturally and easily, thus accelerating further development and growth. So PLAY not only more effectively generates growth and learning, but also does so in such a way as to compound its own positive effect. In essence, PLAY generates an upward spiral through a cyclic improvement of your PLAY, experiences and growth. The cycle goes like this Play > Experiences > Growth > Play > Experiences > Growth > Play

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Now you could try to argue that WORK does the same, and to a degree it does but the process is dramatically slowed down because a work state is a doing state rather than a learning state. When we work we naturally base our decisions on what we know and believe already, rather than creatively exploring different possibilities. In order to learn from work, you need to stop doing it and reflect upon it, but when you learn through PLAY, you learn as you are doing it! As growth through PLAY compounds, your actual character changes and personality traits like charisma begin to flower naturally from you. Charisma is the result of compounded growth through numerous rounds of the cycl described above. So you get what we are saying, right? To experience an upward spiral in your success with women, get out of the work frame and PLAY!

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MAKING THE SWITCH

So this is our primary message:

Get out of the work frame and PLAY!

It is a switch in attitude and approach that whilst is important to make, is not always easy. What we were looking for was a way to help people to make that switch, and this meant having something practical to give them. So we researched and we discussed but above all we PLAYED, and through doing so created a series of Attraction Games to help our clients learn to PLAY again, and become more attractive and charismatic through doing so. And the results we have been getting with our private clients are phenomenal! The purpose of these GAMES are simply for you to have FUN through PLAY so that:

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YOU HAVE EXPERIENCES, WHICH AFFORD YOU GROWTH THROUGH LEARNING AND UNDERSTANDING. YOU CONNECT TO THE PLAY STATE AND BECOME MORE NATURALLY ATTRACTIVE. YOU ARE RELEASED FROM FEAR AND ANXIETY AND THE NEED FOR THAT ELUSIVE WORK LUBRICANT CALLED CONFIDENCE. YOU ARE FREE TO EXPLORE WHATS POSSIBLE WITHOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF FAILURE BECAUSE THERE IS NO FAILURE IN PLAY.

And youll experience a shift in attitude and perspective: Instead of working to game women, with Attraction Games you focus instead on PLAYING games letting go, having fun and discovering how quickly you learn and grow. And how can this not make perfect sense? Think about it again guys with natural success learned how to have success with women quickly as adolescents and teenagers. Biologically nothing significant has changed since back then. You can learn like they learned, and you can have what they have and more!

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ITS NEVER TOO LATE

Earlier on in Johns story, he mentioned that he learned his skills with women from his Dad. This wasnt totally correct. Actually, he never really saw his dad interacting or flirting with women, as his parents were married into his late teens. What he did learn from his Dad though was this: It is OK to PLAY. And really that is how John learned to be attractive and skilled with women through PLAY! So why dont you do it too? Its never too late! The truth is that you can learn and grow quickly at any age if you can learn to PLAY again. The only reason it takes most grown men a long time and a lot of hard work to learn game (those who realize the need) is that they get stuck 100% in a WORK frame. They orientate themselves to the twin poles of success and failure, and as such making

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progress becomes a chore and results come slowly at best. But you want to learn fast, right? You want to have deep natural charisma that flows effortlessly rather than a surface level skillset! Why wouldnt you want to literally BE attractive rather than having to WORK to engineer attraction? If you really want these things, we strongly urge you to step away from gaming women and instead learn to PLAY GAMES with women. And when we say learning here we really mean recovering! Because remember there was once a time when PLAY was natural too you and was the only way you knew how to learn! Remember that! Awaken that! Know that completely! And we promise it will serve you well!

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CHAPTER 11 RECOVERING THE LOST ART


So now you know, PLAY is important! Our message is loud and clear:

All work and no PLAY, makes Jack a dull boy and girls dont like dull boys!

What they actually like is PLAYFUL MEN who are centred in their reality and centred in their PLAY. When you know this, you know that in order to be the man that you want to be, you need to recover this lost art. But how do you find your way back to PLAY and PLAYING how do you recover the lost art?

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Well, surely it should be simple, right? Just go and PLAY! In essence, yes! In reality though, simply letting go and PLAYING can be a lot more challenging than intuition may suggest, because there are certain barriers in the way. Sadly, as we mature into adults depending upon our culture a whole host of social and psychological factors can come to bare upon us, stifling our natural playfulness and pressuring us towards work. There are four main areas that affect us: Fear/Anxiety Values Beliefs Habits

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AVOIDING FEAR & ANXIETY

Human beings can only PLAY when they know that they are safe and secure. When danger is perceived we switch to survival mode and WORK to get safe and/or stay safe. We have already discussed how, evolutionarily speaking, poor social performance reduces survival and reproductive value lack of social adeptness = poor access to survival resources (food, shelter etc.) so we know something of the function behind social fear and anxiety. But remember this: If you suffer social fear or anxiety, this is a product of what you are unconsciously focussing on! And you can change this! This is part of what really understanding and orientating to PLAY and a PLAYFUL attitude will do for you. Shifting your state of mind and realising you are safe to PLAY, and actually PLAYING are the most important and useful things you can

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do in a social situation. The truth is there are no real risks in social situations so long as you are genuinely PLAYING, providing you have the presence and ability to recognise when you have overstepped the boundaries, and the strength and centeredness to acknowledge it with humility. Remember we talked about a get out of jail free card? Well this is it!

When you accept a PLAY blunder and sincerely acknowledge it to your PLAY partner, you will be forgiven!

Sorry, I was just kidding around, but that was too far forgive me. No begging, no grovelling, just sincere acknowledgement and appropriate apology this will gain you respect! And knowing this and doing this will

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eliminate social risk 100% The only exception to this is if the girl you are speaking to is some kind of psycho, in which case you dont want to PLAY with her anyway (you have standards, right?). So, know now that there is no risk in social situations when you let go and really play. Because you have the ability and humility to acknowledge and apologise if you genuinely offend! We trust that you can do this, but if not we can teach you. (You can find out about this at our website AttractionGames.com)

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VALUES & BELIEFS

In western culture (and in many other cultures) we are often subtly indoctrinated into the belief that WORK is of value and PLAY is frivolous. When we grow up and reality bites, we may start to feel uneasy with PLAY because deep down we worry that it is childish, a waste of time, unproductive or irresponsible. Now this is not completely true for everyone, but it is at least partly true for most adults... and for some it is overwhelmingly true. Hopefully we do not need to say anymore to convince you that such belief is utter BULLSHIT that PLAY is of IMMENSE VALUE and is to be respected, valued and enjoyed as an ESSENTIAL part of a balanced and productive life. You should be getting that consciously by now and as you think about it over the days, weeks and month ahead you can really LET IT SINK IN! Invest in PLAY and it will reward you. Allow yourself to perceive and understand its immense value everyday. This will make

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a difference, not only to your attractiveness and social charisma, but also to your overall quality of life.

HABITS

A major part of learning to PLAY again is the unlearning of the habits of WORKING when you should be PLAYING. This is much of what Attraction Games is really all about getting out of the habit of working for women and getting into the habit of PLAYING with women. Aside from a general habit of working rather than PLAYING, you will currently have a whole host of more specific social habits that govern your responses and reactions in social situations. Some of these are habits of thinking and some are habits of behaviour. You will have habits to say and think the same kinds of things in the same kinds of ways in the same kinds of contexts. You will have habits of movement, breathing, posture and voice tone. All of these habits are the habits

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of how you WORK in social situations. When you first start to PLAY, it will at first feel strange because it is not your habit! Now, if you are already learning to improve your communication and interactions with women, you will already know this, and what you have probably done is work hard to overcome your habits and create new ones. What we suggest you do instead is PLAY EASY to overcome your habits of WORK. By doing so, the attitudes, mindsets, responses and behaviours of PLAY will become your new default.

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MAKING TIME TO PLAY

It might seem obvious, but with all the information distractions we have nowadays, it is certainly worth mentioning. You know how sometimes girls say they arent going to the club to meet guys, but they are going because they just want to dance? Well, believe it or not, oftentimes this is actually true! How much time do YOU spend actually PLAYING? How often do you go out with your friends simply to have FUN? Do all of your social excursions have a primary outcome that supersedes FUN through PLAY? You may want to seriously consider setting times to simply PLAY with your friends to just go out and have a good time and nothing more! Be silly, have a blast and care about NOTHING more than the momentby

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moment gratification you are getting from PLAY. Of course it would make sense to hang out with a group of guys who are also just focused on PLAY, otherwise it is too easy for us to get pulled into a WORK frame. So think about it who do you know who takes time to simply PLAY? Who do you know who could do with learning to PLAY? Who can you share the concept of PLAY with so that you and them can go out together and all genuinely have a day or night of PURE PLAY? Go on, have fun spread PLAY!

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CHAPTER 12 THE ATTRACTION GAMES MISSION


Our whole mission with Attraction Games is to get guys PLAYING to get you flowing, creating and fully enjoying your interactions with women so that your attractiveness, depth and skill grows naturally. We are not PickUp Gurus we are coaches, modellers, explorers, creators, change agents, players and livers of life. And this is an area of life that is important! One of the things that is clear from our exploration is that much of the material (almost all that we have surveyed) available purporting to teach attraction is underpinned by counterproductive attitudes and mindsets that encourage guys to WORK for women instead of naturally connecting with them.

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We want to change this and we know we have the key! And you too now have that key although you may not yet know how to turn it! We have gone as far as we can in this book. We have outlined our manifesto and given you enough to get you exploring PLAY, because we want you to find out more We want you to flow, create and fully enjoy your interactions with women and just notice how your attractiveness, depth and growing abilities naturally take care of themselves! And they do: WHEN YOU PLAY FULLY and KEEP PLAYING! One of our biggest challenges in spreading this message and getting people to really PLAY, is that much of the game taught by majority of the gurus in this field (we have surveyed a good amount of this material, but please let us know if we are missing something) seems cantered around a different

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intention all together: Most pickupartist material is cantered on the engineering of attraction through technical strategies to elicit emotion or demonstrate value. The irony is that, whilst PLAY does both of these things naturally and in a socially appropriate way, WORK in this context actually communicates low value and elicits the wrong set of emotions. The only way to make WORK work is to get good enough at faking it to cover the fact that you are working. The truth is, like a cat chasing its tailyoull never catch it. Youll never get good enough. But much of the pickup advice makes sense! It appeals on an intuitive level because we are so unconsciously conditioned to think in terms of achievement through WORK. It seduces us into its program and shuts us off from that which really can make us attractive, charismatic and all the things you would like to be with women.To escape the prison and be truly free, you need to learn to let go and PLAY, PLAY, PLAY!

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This is our message. To be clear, we are not claiming to be revolutionaries, missionaries or messiahs in fact we already know that some others are beginning to touch on the edges of this. As for the PickUp world, nobody discusses the power of PLAY in any worthwhile detail, but we do highly recommend Real Social Dynamics Blueprint Decoded, where Owen talks about being selfamused. Over the past decade PLAY has been appearing in corporate environments in the form of workshops and expensive consultation as a solution to the lack of creativity and ingenuity resulting from industrialized thinking. As psychologists are recognizing how much of an impact PLAY has on the quality of peoples lives, it is popping up in some areas of personal development, such as helping with depression and to repair damaged relationships.

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However, nobody has yet to intensively apply the understandings and research behind PLAY to the art of dating and picking up women. This is why we feel dutybound to spread this message and this knowledge. We already know from the results we are getting personally and with others who we are already teaching this material that this is powerful and special. THIS IS THE BIG PIECE. PLAY is the difference that makes the difference! Now there is only so much we can do in spreading this message, and it really is important that it spreads. Its true that all progress comes from paradigm shifts. When the zeitgeist shifts and everybody in a community learns to grow through PLAY, new knowledge rapidly arises that benefits everyone. Simultaneously individuality and uniqueness is fostered and promoted.

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Imagine a community where every guy has his own game with his own character and vibe. Every guy has his own unique charisma exciting, raw natural and powerful. No more hard work or generic canned material. Just freedom, fun and pleasure! Believe us, PLAY is what you want and PLAY is what you need, but not just PLAY for you PLAY for everyone you know and grow with. So let people know about PLAY they will thank you and ultimately you will thank yourself. And there is so much more beyond what you have read in this book so much more we have to share with you! If you know that you want to know more, you can visit AttractionGames.com right now. AttractionGames.com is our resource hub it is here we will be sharing tips on unlocking your PLAY potential, along with specific GAMES for learning to PLAY with women and to PLAY in general.

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We are also constantly developing a whole host of GAMES for PLAYING with women that are not only FUN to play, but will also make you NATURALLY MORE ATTRACTIVE. Our aim is for AttractionGames.com to be a conduit through which you can discover PLAY STRATEGIES and ATTRACTION GAMES such as:
PLAY SIGNALS GENERAL GAMES CONTEXT GAMES PLAY SPACE CREATION GAMES BALL BUSTING GAMES IMAGINATION GAMES RITUAL GAMES SPECTATOR GAMES ROUGH & TUMBLE GAMES OBJECT GAMES BODY GAMES NUMBER GETTING GAMES PARADOXICAL INTENT GAMES FLIRTING GAMES FOLLOW THE LEADER GAMES FALSE COMMANDING GAMES

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MOUTH MIMING GAMES ASIF GAMES INCONGRUENCE GAMES TAPIN GAMES CHARACTER GAMES TEASING GAMES FALSE INTERPRETATION GAMES FALSE EXPLANATIONS GAMES ITS NOT YOUR FAULT GAMES

As we discover more and more through our own PLAY, and the PLAY of our private coaching clients, we will of course be developing and sharing even more play strategies and attraction games. We will also be sharing a lot additional PLAY CONCEPTS that will help you to connect more deeply with PLAY and become more fluid and creative in your PLAYING. At AttractionGames.com you will have access to in-depth explanation of NEW concepts such as:

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DISSOLVING ENVIRONMENTAL THREATS CREATING, MANAGING AND UTILIZING PLAY SPACE SHRINKING THE GRATIFICATION GAP PLAYING BOTH THE NICE GUY & THE DICKHEAD THE ART OF SELFAMUSEMENT PLAYING WITH POSITIVE & NEGATIVE REACTIONS THE WORKTOPLAY QUICK SWITCH ENERGY LEVEL FACTORS FLIRTING FOR FUN VS. FLIRTING TO F**K CHANGING YOUR BASELINE PLAY STATE POLARISED PLAY & SWING STATES PLAY STATE CONTAGION WHEN & WHERE TO PLAY FREEDOM THROUGH PLAY

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CONCLUSION ITS TIME TO PLAY


And so this is it. It is your time now. If you have read this entire book, then we know you have already started imagining where you werent PLAYING before when you could have been where you werent PLAYING before when you should have been. We know you have already started imagining what it will be like when you are PLAYING with women lots of different women. You see yourself laughingyou see them laughing. You see yourself moving loosely, waving your handstouching them and them smiling at you. We know you are already starting to picture where you will begin to PLAYwhich friends you will go out and PLAY with.

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We know that you have considered also what other parts of your life you can begin to make more PLAYFUL now. We know how reading this book has lifted a weight from your shouldershow it has made the whole thing about attraction and women and dating a bit lighter because there really isnt anything to worry about anymore. And all you need to do to start on this new and better path right now is to simply Get out there and PLAY.

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