St.

Catherine of Alexandria Catholic Parish, Nairobi South C TOPIC: MATRIMONIAL LOVE

Presented: During the Talks for Couples preparing for Marriage in 2011

By: Eng. Martin M. Martin and Mrs. Marie M. Nzomo, P.O. Box 12125-00400, Nairobi, Kenya. Cell Phone: +254722516125; +254722521040 E-mail: mmnzomo@yahoo.com and marienzomo@yahoo.com

For: The Family Life Committee

On: 29th December 2011

St. Catherine of Alexandria Catholic Parish, Nairobi South C 1. QUALITIES OF CATHOLIC/CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

VATICAN II defined marriage as "AN INTIMATE PARTNERSHIP OF LIFE AND LOVE" Marriage is:- (i) (ii) (iii) Permanent - for life "until death do us part". Exclusive - Sexual union is between the couple only. A Sacrament - God the third person in the relationship.

These qualities are expressed in the Marriage Vows the couple make during the marriage ceremony. The commitment is for life, it is exclusive and in the religious ceremony God is called to witness and to be a help in the commitment to live a life in Unconditional love, in good times and in bad, love not based on mere emotional attraction nor based on a legal contract, but on mutual respect and trust, respecting the rights, and the person of the other. Rings "Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity" 2. LOVE Baptism makes a person a member of the Church. Ordination to priesthood makes one a minister of the Gospel in a special way. Marriage marks the couple as a couple, as two-in-one, in a binding relation that lasts for life (Eph 5:31). The relationship between husband and wife is similar to the relationship between Christ and His Church (Eph 5:25). The people Jesus has called into the church, His Body, are not all perfect, but He loves them all and cares for them and destines them for eternal life with Himself. Married people find that their partners are not perfect, and still they are required to love, honour and respect one another. Jesus has set the example, in kindness, forgiveness, and in giving his life for people, many of whom, do not love him. 3. QUALITY OF MARITAL LOVE For husband and wife to love each other as Jesus loved His apostles during His lifetime (John 15:9-13) and loves us, His church today, we need to have some understanding of the qualities of Jesus' love. Some of the qualities of Jesus love are:-

St. Catherine of Alexandria Catholic Parish, Nairobi South C

a)

Total and permanent:- Jesus gave every moment of His love and His life
itself for us. He didn't give up when it was difficult. He didn't meet only His obligations. His love was not based on how He felt especially on the cross. He committed Himself to be with us always.

b)

Forgiving and non-critical:-

When His apostles deserted and denied Him Jesus forgave them. He didn't degrade or criticize them. He did not sulk or get even. He forgives us our sins today.

c)

Warm, tender, and gentle:-

Even when His apostles disappointed Him (they slept in the garden) or failed Him, Jesus showed these qualities. He understands our needs.

d) e) f)

Open and intimate:-

"I call you friends because I have told you everything I heard from my Father." (John 15:14-15)

Life-giving:- Jesus raised the dead cured the sick. He gives hope to the
hopeless and fills our lives with meaning.

Dependent:-

Choosing to be dependent on man's love, Jesus allowed Himself to be killed. He counts on the church to bring His message to the world.

g)

Faithfulness:- Because Jesus is totally faithful to us, we are called to be

totally faithful to each other, to not only stay away from physical sexual activity with others, but to readily belong only to each other.

h)

Compassion, understanding:- Jesus loved all men but did not love the

same intimate relationship with all men as He had with His chosen apostles. This is true today. He has a special intimate relationship with a couple who enters into the sacrament of matrimony, a relationship they are to reflect.

4. OUR ROLE IN OUR MARITAL LOVE It is true love is never self- centred. It is always other-centred. Jesus did not love for His own benefit. He loved for our benefit. A man who truly loves his wife does so for her benefit. A woman who responds to her husband does so out of concern for him. The couples love also goes beyond themselves. It is for the sake of everyone in the church. 3

St. Catherine of Alexandria Catholic Parish, Nairobi South C

To have a catholic wedding is more than a nice gesture; its more than wanting to have a church ceremony; its more than pleasing the parents. It is saying that our love for each other has a purpose that goes beyond us. We as a sacramental couple are entrusted with the very believability of the Body of Christ alive today. We are to be a visible sign, a model of love for which the whole church is sensitive. We are to be more than a good married couple. Our love for each other is to be different from the norm for marriages in our society. On our wedding day our 'yes' is not only to each other. It is to our whole church family. The priest does not marry us; we marry each other, and our priest witnesses to everyone in the church our commitment to love each other totally till death. This is the commitment that is asked of us on our wedding day and everyday of our life as couple. 5. THE CHALLENGE TO US Living the sacrament of matrimony means that our love is not only for us. We as a sacrament couple are entrusted with a mission in the church - as Christ's living body. As we bring our love alive, Christ's love becomes alive and real in the church. It is diminished when our love is not alive and present. The way we love each other is to be a model for how everyone in the church is to love one another. We the church are to be the reality of Jesus this century. Our response to the way we are called to love each other has greater repercussions and consequences than we can imagine. True, it is a great responsibility, but it is also a great honour and opportunity. The whole church cares and depends on the way we as a couple decide to love each other. The church and the world is waiting in joyful anticipation for our love to the total, vibrant and visible. Refer to the Holy Bible: Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21-33 and I Corinthians 13. This is a wonderful description of what love is. Everything is centred on love. Try to replace the word Love with your name. Love is patient and kind Love bears all things Love believes all things Love hopes and endures all things and rejoices in the right Love is not jealous or boastful Love is not arrogant or rude Love is not selfish irritable or resentful Love rejoices in the right. 4

St. Catherine of Alexandria Catholic Parish, Nairobi South C

If we do anything without love then whatever we do is virtually useless. 6. SUMMARY OF ROLES We summarize our respective roles which we are both called upon, as a matrimonial couple, to perform in Love. These roles are complementary and therefore complete us as a couple doing the will of God in our marriages HUSBAND 1. To Provide 2. To Protect 3. To Love 7. (a) 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. SOME BIBLE VERSES ON:Marriage Ephesians 5:25-33 (pp 243) Genesis 2:18-24; 3:16,17 (pp 5,6) Psalms 127 (pp 612) Mark 10:2-12-16 (pp 60) Luke 16:18 (pp 102) Sirac 7:19 (pp 670) Titus 1:6; 2:2-5 (pp 268, 269) Timothy 3:2 (pp 266) Hebrews 13:4 (pp 283) 1 Corinthians 10:31 (pp 214) Malachi 2:14-16 (pp 930) (b) Love 1. John 6:28-29 (pp 126) 2. John 15:9-14 (pp 139) 3. 1 Corinthians 13 (pp 216) WIFE 1. To Comfort 2. To Help 3. To Encourage

God Bless you.

Presented on Thursday, 29th December 2011 and prepared and by:Eng. Martin M Nzomo and Mrs. Marie M. Nzomo PO Box 12125-00400 Nairobi Tel: Martin 0722516125, 0203512227 and Marie 0722521040 E-mails: mmnzomo@yahoo.com and marienzomo@yahoo.com