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POLITENESS

In everyday conversation, there are ways to go about getting the things we want. When we are with a group of friends, we can say to them, "Go get me that plate!", or "Shut-up!" However, when we are surrounded by a group of adults at a formal function, in which our parents are attending, we must say, "Could you please pass me that plate, if you don't mind?" and "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but I am not able to hear the speaker in the front of the room." I different social situations, we are obligated to adjust our use of words to fit the occasion. It would seem socially unacceptable if the phrases above were reversed. According to Brown and Levinson, politeness strategies are developed in order to save the hearers' "face." Face refers to the respect that an individual has for him or herself, and maintaining that "self-esteem" in public or in private situations. Usually you try to avoid embarrassing the other person, or making them feel uncomfortable. Face Threatening Acts (FTA's) are acts that infringe on the hearers' need to maintain his/her self esteem, and be respected. Politeness strategies are developed for the main purpose of dealing with these FTA's. What would you do if you saw a cup of pens on your teacher's desk, and you wanted to use one, would you a. say, "Ooh, I want to use one of those!" b. say, "So, is it O.K. if I use one of those pens?" c. say, "I'm sorry to bother you but, I just wanted to ask you if I could use one of those pens?" d. Indirectly say, "Hmm, I sure could use a blue pen right now." There are four types of politeness strategies, described by Brown and Levinson, that sum up human "politeness" behavior: Bald On Record, Negative Politeness, Positive Politeness, and Off-Record-indirect strategy. If you answered A, you used what is called the Bald On-Record strategy which provides no effort to minimize threats to your teachers' "face." If you answered B, you used the Positive Politeness strategy. In this situation you recognize that your teacher has a desire to be respected. It also confirms that the relationship is friendly and expresses group reciprocity. If you answered C, you used the Negative Politeness strategy which similar to Positive Politeness in that you recognize that they want to be respected however, you also assume that you are in some way imposing on them. Some other examples would be to say, "I don't want to bother you but..." or "I was wondering if ..." If you answered D, you used Off-Record indirect strategies. The main purpose is to take some of the pressure off of you. You are trying not to directly impose by asking for a pen. Instead you would rather it be offered to you once the teacher realizes you need one, and you are looking to find one. A great example of this strategy is somethin g that almost everyone has done or will do when you have, on purpose, decided not to return someone's phone call, therefore you say, " I tried to call a hundred times, but there was never any answer."

Politeness and Gender

Are Women More Polite Than Men?


Politeness is defined by the concern for the feelings of others. From Nancy Bonvillain's "Language, Culture, and Communication" she notes that, "women typically use more polite speech than do men, characterized by a high frequency of honorific (showing respect for the person to whom you are talking to, formal stylistic markers), and softening devices such as hedges and questions." Sociolinguists try to explain why there is a greater frequency of the use of polite speech from women than from men. In our society it is socially acceptable for a man to be forward and direct his assertiveness to control the actions of others. However, society has devalued these speech patterns when it is utilized by women. From historical recurrence, it has appeared that women have had a secondary role in society relative to that of the male. Therefore, it has been (historically) expected from a women to "act like a lady" and "respect those around you." It reflects the role of the inferior status being expected to respect the superior. In Frank and Anshen's "Language and the Sexes", they note that boys, "are permitted, even encouraged, to talk rough, cultivate a deep "masculine" voice and, if they violate the norms of correct usage or of polite speech, well "boys will be boys," although, peculiarly, it is much less common that "girls will be girls" Fortunately, these roles are becoming more of a stereotype and less of a reality. However, the trend of expected polite speech from the female continues to remain. This is a prime example of how society plays an important part on the social function of the language. Honorifics: linguistic markers that signal respect to the person you are speaking to: "Hey ma, fix my jacket" Mom, could you please do me a favor, and fix my jacket?" In Japanese, according to Masa-aki Yamanashi, the appropriate choice of honorifics is based on complex rules evaluating addressee, referent, and entities or activities associated with either. Example taken from Nancy Bonvillain's "Language, Culture, and Communication." 1. Without Honorific. yamada ga musuko to syokuzi o tanosinda yamada son dinner enjoyed "Yamada enjoyed dinner with his son." 2. With Honorific. yamada-san ga musuko-san to o-syokuzi o tanosim-are-ta yamada-HON son-HON HON-dinner enjoyed-HON "Yamada enjoyed dinner with his son." Hedges: "loosely speaking", having a sense of "fuzziness" they take away assertiveness in your statements, soften the impact of your words or phrases such as " I was sort-of-wondering," "maybe if....," "I think that...." "HANK is SO MEAN!" vs. " I sort-of-think that Hank is a bit of a mean person."

Who Talks More, Men or Women?


A common cultural stereotype describes women as being talkative, always speaking and expressing their feelings. Well, this is probably true, however, do women do it more than men? No! In fact an experiment designed to measure the amount of speech produced suggested that men are more prone to use up more talking time than women. An experiment b y Marjorie Swacker entailed using three pictures by a fifteenth century Flemish artist, Albrecht Durer which were presented to men and women separately. They were told to take as much time as they wanted to describe the pictures. The average time for males: 13.0 minutes, and the average time for women 3.17 minutes.

Why is this?
Sociolinguists try to make the connection between our society and our language in a way that suggests that women talk less because it has not always been as culturally acceptable as it has been for men. Men have tended to take on a more dominant role not only in the household, but in the business world. This everchanging concept is becoming le ss applicable in our society, however, the trend is still prominent in some societies across the world. It is more acceptable for a man to be talkative, carry on long conversation, or a give a long wordy speech, however it is less acceptable for a women to do so. It has been more of a historical trend for men have more rights to talk. However , it is common for men to be more silent in situations that require them to express emotion. Since childhood, they have been told to "keep their cool" and "remain calm, be a man."

Do Men and Women Really Speak Differently?


Can you tell who, most likely, is speaking? "Wow what a beautiful home!" "That outfit looks lovely on you!" "Nice coat." "Where can I find a pair of shoes like that, I like them." "This is a super cool shirt, I love it." "This shirt is cool." Sometimes comment like these may be extremely stereotypical, however it is easy for any one to identify who the speaker is. In English we laugh at these utterances, however in some languages there are gender-exclusive speech patterns for men and women respectively. It is not uncommon to see these speech patterns cross-culturally to linguistically the gender of the speaker. Edward Sapir

documented such occurrences in Yana, an American Indian language, where there are distinct words that are used for men and women respectively. Example taken from Janet Holmes, "An Introduction to Sociolinguistics" "dear" "person" Sapir found that the male form of speech is used by men when talking to other men. Female speech is used by women talking to other women or men, or by men talking to women. Therefore, there is an exclusive speech pattern for men speaking to men. There are also some examples of this in Japanese. Example taken from Nancy Bonvillain's, "Language, Culture, and Communication" Women ohiya onaka oisii taberu Men mizu hara umai kuu "water" "stomach" "delicious" "eat" Women ba yaa Men ba-na yaa-na

UNIVERSITY IN MOSTAR FACULTY OF ARTS AND HUMANITIES DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH

SEMINAR PAPER POLITENESS AND GENDER

STUDENT: ANA KUSTURA SID:16895/R

MENTOR: MR.SC. IVONA ETKA

MOSTAR, JULY 2007 INTRODUCTION


In my seminar paper I will discuss the difference between men and women speak. I will also talk about who is more polite and who talks more. This subject was interesting to me since I like to talk a lot and few of my mail collegues like to talk a lot to. So I was interested weather the story of women talking more is true.

CONCLUSION
I think that I have shown how the story of women talking more is true in the end. But the women are more polite while talking. Even the chance of women talking less polite is bigger since they talk more than men, the sudies have shown that women always think of what they say and how they say it and men just say what is on their mind.

LITERATURE
http://logos.uoregon.edu/explore/socioling/

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