THE COMPLETE ASK SAKURA

By K. M. Washatka (Angel Lucifel)

Ask Sakura 1 Sakura: Hey everybody! This is in response to Inos little advice column thing. Lucifel: I dont actually like Sakura more; I just wanted to make a come-back to Ask Ino Sakura: -KicksLucifel: Owhey, I can just as easily NOT write this for you Sakura: -mumbles- anyway, for my first edition Im taking questions from Kohaku Kawa, whom I know really well and can help get this off the ground! Do you miss your long hair? Sakura: -Siiigh-, yes, I do. But I cut it for Sasuke-kun so its worth it. And hey, itll grow back, right? Itachi: Maybeif you survive that long with chasing Sasuke to all those dangerous places. Sakura: What the hell are YOU doing in here? Lucifel: Inos got everyone elseSakura needs back-up characters. Sakura: thats not fair! Itachi: Whats not? Sakura: You mean you dont hear her? Itachi: Wtf? Sakura: A-anywaynext question. What is the scariest battle youve ever been in? Sakura: Oh man, well, both times I fought someone from Orochimarus team was really terrifying. But probably the fight with Kabuto was the worst Kabuto: Awww, did I scare the little princess? Sakura: WHAT THE FUCK?!! Orochimaru: I think you did.

Sakura: -weeps- why do I get all the BAD guys?! Itachi: Just keep reading Kohakus questions so we can get this over with Sakura: R-right. How do you feel about Lee? Sakura: -small blush- W-wellhes no Sasuke-kun, and at first he really freaked me out, but after he saved me that one time Iwell, hes really a nice guy, I realized Kabuto: -snicker- Aww thats cute. Sakura: What is?! Kabuto: Nothing Itachi: So, Orochimaru, howd you get in here? Orochimaru: HonestlyI have no clue Itachi: huh, me neither. Sakura: Well, one last question Dont you think its time you realized Sasukes gay? Itachi: LOL! Sakura: O.o NOOO!! Hes not!! He definitely is not gay! Orochimaru: Ill be sure to let him know you said that next time hes underneath me Sakura and Itachi: Whaaaaaat?! Kabuto: -mutters something jealouslyItachi: I didnt think Id fucked him up that badlywell, shit Sakura: -shaking- W-wellthats all the time we have for todayHopefully well get some questions from the reviewers of Ask Ino. Bye for now! -Tries to open door.door does not openEveryone: Aw, dammit. All fans of Ask Ino, also anyone else, please review!!!!

Ask Sakura 2 Lucifel: Hi everyone! I just want to say how happy I am you all reacted to this so well! Also, Id like to mention that I have a five question per person limit, k? Anyway, Im so happy Im responding the same night I put the story up! Celebrate! But Ill probably start a schedule or something Sakura: What the hell are you talking about? I cant answer questions! I need to get out of this room! Orochimaru: -Leaning in over her shoulder- Come on Sakura-chan. Is it THAT bad? Kabuto: -whimpering- Orochimaru-samawhat about meeee? Sakura: -banging door desperately- LET ME OUT!!! Lucifel: Answer the questions or Ill LET Orochimaru have his kinky way with you! Sakura: -sits like a good girl in her chairOrochimaru: What? You wanna go? Sakura: No thats the whole point! Itachi: It is? Sakura: dont you HEAR it? All three men: Hear what? Sakura: Never mindIll start with the question from my first writer: Torn Yorick! Sakura, why haven't we seen either of your parents EVER? and just how did you get your hair so damn PINK!? It can't be natural. Yorick PS. Naruto: You're going down, Orochimaru!(Wait...Sasuke's GAY!?) Yorick: Yeah, you Michael Jackson look-alike!(That, or asexual -.-) HI ITACHI-SAMA! MARRY ME! Itachi: -raises eyebrow- um, no. Orochimaru: -crazy chuckle- Yeah, well see just how much you think Im like Michael Jackson when Imwell, yeah, I guess we are kind of similar Sakura: Oh god help meum, to answer your questions Yorick, my parents are simply unimportant. Andthey dont really care that much about me

Kabuto: Oh god, dont you go all emo like that Sasuke brat Sakura: Sasuke is not emo!! Orochimaru: Oh yes he isits pretty damn cute Sakura: stopstopstop!! Uh, about my hair, its a secret-shifty eyes- next question!!
Here's a question why don't you just say fuck it with Sasuke and join Itachi and kill him after all he's put u through? -Halloween-Baby

Itachi: -snickerSakura: I would never! I dont care what Sasuke-kun does! My love for him is unconditional! I stand by him no matter what! Itachi: Yeah, but Im sexier. Sakura: -bluuush- um, the next question please
Dear Sakura, If you were able to kidnap and rape one Akatsuki member who would it be? -KyoniP.S. Does Sasuke shave his legs?

Itachi: What the fuck? Thats a big IF. Sakura: -in shock- ummI guessII would never want to rape anyone! End of story! Orochimaru: Youre not being very fan-friendly Sakura Lucifel: Yeah Sakura, and Oros lookin kind of hungry, if you know what I mean. Sakura: fine Orochimaru: -thinks- she keeps doing what I sayshe must be hot for me. evil grinSakura: -barely audible- Itachi. Itachi: Ugh, eww. Lucifel: Well, youve got the first half pretty much done Sakura: I dont want to talk about it! Anyway, Sasuke most certainly does NOT shave his legs, hes too manly for that!

Orochimaru: He does. Sakura: Im giving the answers here!! Orochimaru: But he does. Sakura: I dont want to hear it! Next!
lolz funny! Dear Sakura, Why the hell do you have to be so annoying??! Your obsession with Sasuke is NOT healthy so give up and go with LEE! You two look adorable together. :3 Also do you admit that Sasuke IS emo...and sorta gay? Also do you think Orochimaru and Lord Voldemort are somehow relate? From, Bella PS: SAKURA AND LEE

Sakura: glad you find our predicament humorous you jackass Orochimaru: oooh does the little princess have a temper? Sakura: -glaresOrochimaru: -thinks- yeeeah, she wants it. Sakura: -reads the rest of letter- -starts crying- I only do as much as I can for my teama-and because Im not physically strong I can only have my spiritual willI-I Tsunade says Im strongI cant help loving Sasuke Kabuto: Oh my GOD. Shut up. You whiney little bitch Orochimaru: Aww, dont be mean. Kabuto: What? Now you like HER better than me too? Orochimaru: Well you have been slacking a little in bed Kabuto: Thats because Sasuke is on the other side of you!! And IM not a pedophile! Orochimaru: Are you saying I am? Kabuto: Well, hes THIRTEEN! Itachi: Yeah, but you cant blame Orochimaru, Sasuke is pretty cute. Everyone: -stares-

Itachi: -blinks- what? Sakura: T-to address the rest of your letter, Lee just isnt really my typeI guessand Sasuke is NOT Emo and he is NOT gay Everyone else: Yes he is. Sakura: -ignoring them- And I dont really know about this VoldeOrochimaru: Ive got this one. Ahem. VOLDEMORT IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING PUSSY EVER AND ONE OF MY JUTSU ALONE COULD BEAT THAT GAY-ASS AYURVEDA KADABRA OR WHATEVER IN A HEARTBEAT! EVEN KABUTO COULD KICK HIS ASS!! -pants And Im better-looking. poutsKabuto: Glad you have so much faith in meand anyway, I apologize Bella, but he gets this a lot and its become kind of a pet peeveespecially the time Harry Potter tried sicking that damn bird on himanyway, Sakura I believe you have one more question? Sakura: Or I could just let you three take over like youre doing so well already Orochimaru: No, no, continue please. Sakura: -sighs- ok, here it is
hi, i am not a huge fan of ask ino, but i have some questions: 1.is pink your natural hair color?? 2.what is your middle name? 3.do you know why sasuke is cooler than itachi?? 4.did you know you should date lee so i could date sasuke? 5.AND DID YOU KNOW HE IS NOT GAY!ISNT THAT AWSOME!

Sakura: Im glad you dont support Ino in her evilness. Inner Sakura: Hell yeah! Eat it Ino pig! EAT IT!!! Kabuto: Orochimaru-samadid something large and evil just appear around Sakura? Orochimaru: uh-huh thinks- yeah, and it was SEXY. Evil chicks are hot.

Sakura: anyway, like I said the pink thing is a secretwhy are you people so interested in it? Its not that big of a deal-shifty eyes- Oh, my middle namewell, I dont actually have one, but Ill make it Haruno when I get married to Sasuke and my last name becomes Uchiha! long, whistful sighItachi: -gag well disguised as a cough- And hes not. Sakura: Actually he is. Itachi: Would you kidnap and rape HIM? Orochimaru: oh, burn. Sakura: -blushing- The point is that Sasuke is cooler than Itachi because no matter how many bad choices he makes he will always be a good, kind-hearted person. Orochimaru: And a fantastic lover. Kabuto: -scoffsItachi: Hey, Im sure Im a far better lay that Ototo-kun. Orochimaru: -leaning in close to Itachi- wanna prove it? Itachi: -hides smirk inadequately behind his cowlSakura: -whimpers- Anyway, like I keep saying Lee is a nice guy and all but I wouldnt date him. Sasukes the only one for me. Inner Sakura: So back off bitch! Orochimaru: Plus, I think hes getting a little attached to yours truly. Thinks- damn, there it was againrowr, sexy Sakura: And Im happy to say for the closing statement that yes it is wonderful that Sasuke is not Gay and will someday have a wonderful wifeme! All three men: But he IS. Sakura: No hes NOT. Kiba: I really think he might be. He used to hit on me a bit Sakura: Kiba? When did you get in here?!

Kiba: I dont know, but I was walking down this hallway and heard some terrifying things that sounded like Ino saying she would date meand then suddenly, I was here! Orochimaru: So, what youre basically saying is you dont know how to get out of here? Kiba: Well since I dont know how I got inyeah, thats about right. And what the fuck are you guys doing in here? gasps- Are you holding Sakura prisoner!? DUN DUN DUNNN Lucifel: ok, guys, this is long enough for the time being, see what happens next time on Ask Sakura!! Lets see some more questions to keep this rolling! Sakura: save meeee!!

Ask Sakura 3 Orochimaru: Hey, Im just letting you know that you took a break at the most inopportune time cuz you missed all the bloody violent killing of that dog boy. Kiba: Umm, Im still herejust tied up Sakura: Oh NOW youre aware of the fourth wall!?!? Orochimaru: The what now? Sakura: Th-the breakthe readers Orochimaru: kid, I thought you were just talking out loud for kicks. Sakura: What the fuck is wrong with you people!?!? Itachi: Well, I did kill everyone in my entire clan Kabuto: Dont you go emo on us too now! Itachi: Do you see any emo tears? Kabuto: ummno? Itachi: Then shut the fuck up. Kabuto: k-muttersSakura: Well, readers, since IM aware of you, and happy to receive your questions because it may mean my escape some day Lucifel: -snicker- keep dreaming Sakura Sakura: -whimpers- Ill go ahead and answer your questions. Itachi: Plus, its funny. Now I cant stop thinking about the little pink-head girl raping me-snickersOrochimaru: So youre kinky like that huh? Itachi: No, I just think its funny. Sakura: CAN WE ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTIONS?! Kabuto: Its your fucking job. Go ahead.

Sakura: Thank youok! Well, first of all, Kokon Suji, I appreciate you laughing at us and all, but go ahead and ask some questions! Itachi: What did he laugh at? Sakura: N-nothing Orochimaru: It was my line about fucking Sasuke wasnt it? Everyones getting kicks out of that Sakura: ARE YOU AWARE OF THE READERS OR NOT?! Orochimaru: Whos reading what now? Sakura: I hate all of you! Kiba: But I didnt do anything besides come in and try to help! Kabuto: And get your ass kicked. Kiba: Grrrrr Orochimaru: Kinky. Kiba: What the hell? Sakura: GOOD GOD!! Ok, here we go
Yo, Sakura~ -WaveAnyways, questions, questions.. What were they..? Oh yes! Why is Orochimaru-sama so damn sexy? Why won't you admit that Sasuke is gay? He does have 'Uke' in his name, ya' know.. And finally.. -CoughOrochimaru I love you!!

Sakura: -waves back- hi!! through teeth- get me out of here So, your questionsgoes pale- ummI dont know if I can answer this Orochimaru: -Reads letter- Well, I know whyKabuto knows why, Itachi knows why, Itachi: The fuck? Orochimaru: You know you do. Itachi: -smirk-

Orochimaru: But tell us Sakura, why AM I so damn hot? Kabuto: Sexy. Orochimaru: Yes, that too. Kabuto: No, that was the word she used. Orochimaru: Dont be a perfectionist nerd. Kiba: ouch. Kabuto: -sits and poutsSakura: Well, I guess if I had to pick something -side glance at Orochimaru and shudders- it would be that hesso powerful? And nice hair I guess Orochimaru: -thinks- she thinks Im sexy. Sakura: Anyway, I dont know how many times Ill have to say this (now I know how Ino feels) but Sasuke just isnt gay. Inner Sakura: hes mine mine mine MINE!!! Ororchimaru: -Thinks- there she goes againmust be when shes hornyhey, Kiba looks really cute all tied up-sits next to KibaKiba: -tries to scoot away- -failsSakura: -trying not to watch Orochimaru being creepy- I mean, having an uke in your name doesnt make you gay. Would you say YusUKE Urameshi is gay? Hiei: He is. I caught him and Kuwabara going at it once Orochimaru: who are you? Hiei: Who wants to know? Itachi: A guy with a thing for short kids with spiky black hair, apparently. Orochimaru: Exactly. Hiei: Creeps-disappearsSakura: WHAT?!

Lucifel: I can do that. This isnt supposed to be a crossover Sakura: Well, what about SanosUKE Sagara? Sanosuke: Oh hell yeah. Kenshins hot. And dont get me started on Saitou Orochimaru: Again with the dark spiky hair and rough-edged attitude, Im liking this Sakura: I give up. Sanosuke: Wish Saitou would-disappearsOrochimaru: awww Sakura: Fine, so, Orochimaru, any lasts comments? Orochimaru: Huh? Wh--ohwell, thanks. A lot of people do. Kabuto: -sighOrochimaru: Like Kabuto. Sakura: Enough of this! Next!
Hey! I love this story! Sakura is like, my fave character in the entire series. ^^ Orochimaru is my LEAST fave. He must BURN. And QUICKLY. My question is: Sakura, we all know you like Sasuke, but is there a special reason why? (And yeah, I think you should be with Sasuke! SasuSaku forever! And Sasuke IS NOT GAY... burn, Orochimaru!) -danielie

Orochimaru: What the fuck is this chicks problem? Why dont you come down here and MAKE me burn huh? Think youre tougher than Sandaime? Come PROVE it bitch. Kabuto: -putting hands on Oros shoulders- calm down, Orochimaru-sama. Orochimaru: Yes, yes-eyes KibaSakura: Well, its always nice to hear words of confidence while in here! twitch- So, the main reason why I love Sasuke-kun so much iswell, my love for him is so deep and pure there are no words. Something in me just wants to keep him safe, and happy Itachi: Because you could totally pull that shit off. Rolls eyesKiba: Shut up. I think its sweet. Even if he is gay Sakura: thank you Kibamaybe

Orochimaru: Get a clue princess! Trust me, theres no protest coming out of his mouth he swallows everything. Sakura: Dear god. Oh yay! More from Torn Yorick!
Sakura, Another question: Did you know the circle on your back is perfect for target practice? Btw, Itachi-sama you're a smexy beast, and I am forever your slave!! -snaps out of obsessive fangirl modeand hey Kiba! -waves- Is it true you and Shino are... -holds pinky to cheek-

Itachi: -eyeing Sakuras dress- whoait is-pulls out kunaiSakura: -pressing back against a wall- um, well, whatever you say, its just a pattern Inner Sakura: YOU JERK!! Thats almost as bad as the people who call the Uchiha crest a pokeball! Lucifel: Dude, it totally is. Orochimaru: -turns away from Kiba and thinks- damn, shes getting so HORNY. Itachi: ohumdidnt I already shoot you down? But if you wanna get a frappuccino or something I am getting kind of thirsty Kabuto: -staresItachi: what? Kabuto: A frappucino? Itachi: Yeah and? I think theyre yummy Kabuto: I liked you better when I never knew you Itachi: whatever. Sakura: -blushing- Kibaumthis last part is for you. shows himKiba: -eyes grow wide and he blushes- ohII Shino: Yeah. Its true. Kiba: Shino! Shino: Hes just shy about it. Wants to keep up his manly faade or something. Kiba: No, I meant how did you get in here?!

Shino: The window. I saw you tied up and got worried thinks- and turned on. Sakura: Theres a WINDOW?! Shino: -looks up- there WAS. Gaara: Well, theres not anymore. Sakura: What the hell are you doing here?! Lucifel: I wanted to grab him before Ino-chan did. Gaara is the sexiness Sakura: Gaaras not sexy! Orochimaru: -thinks- Oh yes he is -eyes Gaaras ass.Gaara: -raisesoh, he doesnt have eyebrows does he?- did someone say I was? Lucifel: HELL YES! Sakura: N-no Orochimaru: Poor things kind of breaking down. thinks- Ill break her down Lucifel: God, why dont you just make an orgy? Sakura: WHAT?! Lucifel: If you could hear that mans thoughts Sakura: WHICH MAN!?!? Lucifel: Yeah, there are a lot of emwell, figure it out. Sakura: -looks in horror at the crowd of men, whom are all staring at her likes shes the devilwhich, we all know, is actually meSakura: Thats all for todayI need to go rest my brain Gaara: And if anyone tries to ask me any questionswell, Im not wasting my time answering them. Lucifel: Isnt he just smexiest!?!

Ask Sakura 4 Sakura: Ok, Imrested Orochimaru: Well? Sakura: Not really Orochimaru: Aww, Im sorry. Kiba and Shino: -Snuggles.Itachi: When did the dog kid get untied? Kiba: -blushing cuz people are watching- Shino untied me. Itachi: When? He left a minute ago Shino: I came back. thinks- because Kibas here. Orochimaru: Well, as long as you just keep paying all your attention to the bug-kid its cool with me. Where did Gaara go? Gaara: -appears back insideOrochimaru: now why do THEY get to go all over that place? Lucifel: shut up! I do as I please! Gaara: And its not that much better over there. Sakura: Anyway, even though I am stuck in thispredicament, I want to do what I came here to do and answer questions!! So, happy to have her starting off our Fourth addition, we have a letter from Kohaku Kawa!
Lucifel!! I give you questions to start your story and you repay me by making Orochimaru-sama all horny for Sakura!? wtf mate? *waves to Orochimaru fans. "Hi! I wrote an Oro/jira fic that you should all check out! While you're there read the other fics this pair needs way more love! oh and while your in the mood WRITE some Jira/Oro fics so I can read more!!" Sakura here's a few more questions, 1. if you (barf)married Sasuke how many children would you have and what would there names be? 2. If you didn't marry Sasuke who would you marry? 3. Why are you not falling to your knees and worshipping Orochimaru-sama? *points at Lucifel* Now leave my Orochimaru-dono alone. *pouts*

Sakura: Orochimarus WHAT?!

Lucifel: Its not just Sakuraits everyone. Orochimaru: -winks at KibaLucifel: See? Jiraiya: What the hell is this about an Oro/Jira fic? Orochimaru: Jiraiya! pouncesJiraiya: Why are YOU here? realize Oro is kind ofhugging him- and why are you doing THIS?! Orochimaru: Because the latest writer gave me an idea Jiraiya: Should I be scared? Kiba and Kabuto: Very. Sakura: Oh thank God! Jiraiya! You can get us out of here cant you? Jiraiya: -pushing Orochimaru away- umnope, dont think so. Sakura: Why not? Jiraiya: No reason Lucifel:-cough-heshidingfromTsunade-coughSakura: Fiiineanyway, your questions, Kohaku. One, I would love to have three kids, two girls and a boy, with the boy being the oldest so he could take care of his imotos and I would name the girls after flowers like myself, and the boy I would name after the first Hokage! Orochimaru: Oh, gag me. Sakura: Wish I could Orochimaru: What was that little girl? steps forwardJiraiya: -blocks his way- Oro, let the poor girl answer the questions. Orochimaru: -smirking sexily- yes, Jiraiya-chan-goes and sits downsexilySakura: -thinks- thank god for Jiraiya showing up

Jiraiya: ah man, this whole place is full of only MEN. Sakura: -thinks- or not so great-speaking now- As for your second question, its a little silly since I definitely will marry Sasuke someday Jiraiya: Maybe if you turn into a boy. Everyone: -staresJiraiya: Oh, like no one else knew he was gay. Itachi, Kabuto and Orochimaru: -long, loud, laughterSakura: -in shock- a-anywayI would probably marry-blush- that is the man I think would treat me the best-shifting uncomfortably- uhuhLee. There I said it. Kiba: Fuzzy eyebrows!? No way!! Gaara: -glares at SakuraShino: -raises eyebrow at GaaraGaara: -Glares at ShinoSakura: Can we move on?! Kabuto: please-eyeing Gaara and Shino warilySakura: Ok, your last question Kohaku, Iwell Orochimaru: Yeah! Why ARENT you?! thinks- cuase I know you want to. Sakura: -facing him- Because I could never worship such a cold, cruel man as you! Itachi: I bet Sasuke doesnt think hes so cold. Orochimaru: Damn, and I didnt even have to say it. Sakura: -blushing furiously- next question please!
Sakura if you had the choice to have sex with who would you choose Itachi, chouji or deidara? also why are u so sasuke crazy he is just a fool. ps.itachi will rock on! Choas

Itachi: Not another one of thesealthough, I will. smirk-

Sakura: Well, I dont know Deidara very well. Lucifel: shit shit shit! They keep asking Deidara questions! Must catch up on series and find out who Deidara is!! Sakura: God, you trapped us in here and dont even know all the characters Lucifel: shut up and read! Sakura: Well, Itachi is an evil bastard and Choji I really dont know very wellbut he seems sweet. Orochimaru: Dear let me cut in, they are basically saying who you would want to fuck, just once, no strings attached, so basically who you think is hotter. Please tell me you dont think the fat kid is hotter than Itachi? Sakura: -quietly- wellno Orochimaru: There you have it. She wants Itachi. Itachi: -sigh- again, eww. Sakura: wait! No! I never said! Jiraiya: -laughing- You were clear enough! Next question!
Haruko: Sakura you lucky biyotch!! You're locked in a room with a harem of sexy men!! Well, not Orokun, but the rest are! USE THAT TIME! Genki: *groan* Nee-chan, that's not a question... Haruko: So? Genki: The story is called "Ask Sakura" Haruko: And? Genki: Arg! Nee-san, you do it!! Daidou: H... hai... Dear Sakura-san, Um... sorry for sounding rude... but why do you wear red? I mean... the idea of being a ninja is to blend in... but... red is so outstanding... but then again... Naruto-san wears orange... Yours truly, Daidou, Genki and Haruko. x Haruko-PS: SEX THOSE BOYS UP DAMMIT!

Jiraiya: What the hell? Most of that letter wasnt even a question Lucifel: but it was FUNNY! Thanks for making me laugh, girls! Orochimaru: I am TOO sexy. How come Im getting so much hate mail? Sakura: -trying to glare at Lucifel but since Im INVISIBLE she cant- well, a really good ninja can conceal themselves no matter what theyre wearing!

Itachi: Youre a good ninja? Kiba: Well, she DOES have top ranks Itachi: Did I ask you, dog boy? Kiba: N-no. Itachi: Then shut the fuck up. Kiba: Y-yes sir Shino: -shakes head in shameSakura: Well, on to the next question please!
Sakura I wish I could help you but I can'tT.T Well anyway here are questions: 1. Sakura why not just go with lee i mean i have read a lot of stories of you guys together and you are so cute. 2. Also I love dogs. Where is Akamaru Kiba?

Kiba: Oh god! Where IS Akamaru?! starts running around the room looking for Akamaru- Akamaru!? Akamaru!! Kabuto: and you only now notice hes gone? What kind of pet owner are you? Kiba: -feeling horrible- Akamaru! Here Boy!!! Sakura: About the Lee and I thing, well, Ive addressed it many times and Orochimaru: She wants to marry him. Gaara: -glares at OrochimaruSakura: No! No! No! I already explained; I would only ever consider Lee if Sasuke died or something! Gaara: -glares at SakuraKabuto: So Lees likeyour sympathy fuck? Harsh. Sakura: Nooo! I care about him I just-Gaara stop glaring at me!! Gaara: -keeps glaringSakura: anyway, I just dont love him like I love Sasuke. Thats all. Next question, which will be the last for today:

hello sakura my question is why dont you freaking work out and train like the rest of the ninja's so you can save yourself... we cant do it they would kill all of us... p.s two things i also suggest the training to become stonger than Sasuke then he may love you. and 2 i you may be in a din with all them creepy people but they wont kill you u r the only girl down there and they are thinking too much about sex

Sakura: I do train! Tsunade-sensei gives me strict regimens every day! My training just isnt very glamorous so its never really publicized. Kiba: Akamaru!!! Orochimaru: In other words she sucks because she cant help but suck, no matter what she does. Kabuto: What? First you wanna screw her, now you hate her? What gives? Sakura: -goes paleOrochimaru: Better things came my way -eyes Gaara and JiraiyaGaara: -glares back at OroOrochimaru: -licks lipsGaara: -shudders and looks awayKiba: Akamaru!! Where are youuuu?! Sakura: At any rate, the reason Im training under Tsunade is to protect and win over Sasuke! So Im already taking your advice! And umI really dont want to think about what these guys are thinking Orochimaru: -thinks- an orgy would be fun right about now. Itachi: -thinks- I wonder if that one kid will bring me my Frappucino Kabuto: -thinks- I wish Orochimaru-sama would pay more attention to meee! Kiba: -thinks while on hand and knees, checking under furniture for Akamaru- Where is Akamaru?! Where is Akamaru!? Shino: -thinks- Kiba looks so cute crawling on the floor like that Jiraiya: -thinks- Why do I have to be stuck in this room and the only girl is this shapeless Haruno girl? Gaara: -thinks- Why are you broadcasting my thoughts, bitch?

Lucifel: ehehehe, my bad there, Sand man. Sakura: huh? Youre talking to Gaara now? Lucifel: Of course not! Go ahead and sign off Sakura! Sakura: Well, anyway, Thats all the time we have! Lucifel: Because I smell gross and need a shower. Sakura: So, Ill see you all next time! Kiba: AKAMARUUUUUU!!!!!

Ask Sakura 5 Sakura: Before anyone say anything lets get a question!! Kiba: Akamaru!!!! Sakura: I said a question!!!
Sw33t! I got my first question answered, thanks! And yeah, this chick's problem is YOU, Orochimaru! I am NOT happy with you taking Sasuke away from Sakura!! If I could come down and make you burn, I WOULD! >=P My next question... Sakura, if you could have said just one more thing to Sasuke before he left... what would it be? Thanks for answering my questions! -danielie

Orochimaru: Not this againId love to see you try. I could beat with just my TONGUE! You hear me?! MY FREAKING TONGUE!! Jiraiya: Calm down, Oro, its not worth getting so hot-headed. Orochimaru: Youre one to talk about hot-headedness! Jiraiya: -twitch- Whats that supposed to mean? Orochimaru: Whats the matter too dense to figure it out? Jiraiya: Why you--! -They begin tumbling around and yelling curses in the backgroundSakura: -sigh- I really said all I could. Of course Kiba: A-KA-MA-RUUU!!! Sakura: Of course, I always want to tell him I love him, as much as I can. Itachi: Waste of breath, kid. Sakura: -snappily- Next question.
Ya know what's really funny?Well i'm making a fanfic for Sasuke/Sakura and all of u are in it! YA! -jumps up and downOk here's the question's 1.Sakura what do you think of Naruto? 2.Orochiumaru if ur gay why do u wan't Sakura? 3.and the last one is 4 Itachi!! If you had 2 who would u fuck...Sakura,Ino,or the 4th Hokage?

Itachi: ALL of us? Even the sand and bug kids? Shino/Gaara: -scowl-

Sakura: thats great! What a way to celebrate the best couple ever! Kabuto: Yeah, youre not the only who wishes that were the case. Sakura: It IS th-wait, you mean you agree with me? Kabuto: I dont agree, but Id sure as hell like to get the little brat away from Orochimaru. Kiba: -gives up and sits crying in a cornerShino: -goes and puts arm around Kibas shouldersLucifel: awwww, arent they cute? Sakura: -evil glint in eye- Well, I know youre totally loyal and all butwhat would say to a temporary team-up? Kabuto: huh? Sakura: -checks to make sure Oro and Jiraiya are still fightingthey aremore or less theyre still rolling on the floor at least- So, if you could be my inside man, to talk to both Sasuke AND Orochimaru, and get me info and stuff, we might be able to pull something off. -Jiraiya and Orochimaru knock over a chairKabuto: hmmm, I dont know Haruno, theres no guarantee Sakura: Isnt a risk youre willing to take? Kabuto: You have me there. They shake- its a deal. Orochimaru: -leaning over suddenly- whats a deal? Kabuto: Nothing! Nothing! Sakura: Of course not! I was just sayingits ameal! I was answering the question! Jiraiya: -leaning over Oros shoulder- You think Narutos a meal? Sakura: -sweat drop-yeah! As in a meal full of surprises! Jira/Oro: Okaaaay

Itachi: -snickerSakura: And about your second question, Orochimaru, this ones all yours. Inner Sakura: Yeah, I wanna hear it, jerkwad. Orochimaru: Ah, you have it wrong. I am not gay. I am bi. I mean hell, Id fuck Anko, Kurenai, AND several other lovely Kunoichi I can think ofmaybe even Temari. Gaara: -suddenly very close by- You better not have just said that, snake. Orochimaru: Why not? Shes pretty hot for her age. Gaara: -pulls cork out of gourd- I can give a few damn good reasons why not. So could Kimimaro if you know what I mean. Orochimaru: -yawns- yeah, yeah, I get it kid. Just so you know? The only thing youre managing to do is look really cute standing there trying to be all threatening like that. Shino: -thinks- thats the truth. Gaara: -angrily shoves cork back in and sits down sulkily, glaring at OroSakura: Eepumm, Itachi? Itachi: wha-aw, fuck. Orochimaru: -snickering- that IS the topic. Itachi: -sigh-Its actually pretty easyYondaime. Jiraiya: What?! The?! FUCK?! Itachi: -shrugs- Hes the hottest and strongest of the three. Orochimaru: Youre GAY?! Itachi: Where do you think Sasuke got it from? Sakura: -in shockLucifel: uh, Sakura? The next question? Sakura: -shaking herself- Ohoh right
hi sakura how are you? (i have captured sasuke mwahahaha!) :)

here are my new questions: 1.i STILL think you should go out with lee, i mean he's not sasuke. 2.SASUKE IS MINE AND I CAN PROVE IT!!i kidnapped him and then, dont panic, he S M I L E D at me!and it isnt the apocolypse!see, he is totally into me. (sasuke:help...me...) SHUT UP SASUKE!annoying hottie... 3.i wanna tell orochimaru that...HE'S TOTALLY NUTSO!GET A HOBBY GAY WAD! oh and sakura, can you be my friend?

Lucifel: so THATS why Sasuke hasnt been in either column! Sakura: yeah right, I know Sasuke would never be capturedagainanyway, like I said; Im NOT going out with Lee. Period. -and a few rooms down, a Lee is cryingSakura: and twotwooh dear god!! NO!!! SASUKE-KUNNNNN!!!! Orochimaru: How the fuck did the brat get himself caught like that? Itachi: pfft. Hes still just a weakling Kabuto: Orochimaru-sama? The last question IS yours. Orochimaru: Ok, my dear bitch, being nutso, getting all the jutsu, and screwing my servants (especially Sasuke)-Sakura: nooooo! Orochimaru: --IS my hobby! I can tell you right now it beats the shit out of writing some gay-ass Sasu/Saku fanfiction. Jiraiya: Actuallythatd be straight-ass. Orochimaru: -snicker- heh, youre right. Always did have a sense of humor. Jiraiya: Funny, you never laughed before. Orochimaru: Strangeyou never seemed sexy before. Jiraiya: -bluuushKabuto: -shockSakura: Be your friend!? You freaking captured my own true love! NO we cant be friends! Give Sasuke back and break me out of this hell-hole, THEN well talk friends! Shino: Damn, Ive never seen her so pissed.

Kiba: M-me neither Shin/Kiba: -cowerSakura: next question!

And I'm back~! Miss me? You better've or I swear to Kami-sama and your head will be on a piI mean.. Anyways~.. Ignore that.. So -Hands Orochimaru a Sasuke plushie- ... Yeah, that's basically why I'm here.. Oh! Gaara, how is it that you're such a badass? And Itachi, what type of Shampoo/Conditioner do you use? ~Rant~

Sakura: we missed you! We missed you! -Thinks- who the heck are you? Orochimaru: -Takes plushie- Yay! Jiraiya: -wary glanceItachi: what? He gets a plushie and Im STILL sitting here waiting for my Frappucino? Kabuto: god, what a spoiled princess. Itachi: -sharingan eyes glaring- Say one more thing. Kabuto: ehno thanks Itachi: thats what I thought. Sakura: Um, Gaara, theres a question for you. Gaara: Yeah, and what did I say when I got here? Kiba: That you wouldnt waste time answering questions? Gaara: Yes, thank you, twat. Kiba: -whimpersShino: -comforts with snugglesLucifel: everyone say it with me: awwwwww

Sakura: So, Im sorry about Gaaras attitude Orochimaru: meh, dont feel too bad. That pretty much answered the question. Sakura: so yeah, Itachi will take the next one Jiraiya: what kind of man uses--? Itachi: -eyes sparkling- I use a very expensive and professional brand of hair products, and shampoo and condition my hair everyday. Everyone: -shockItachi: what? Orochimaru: If he hadnt already admitted it wed all know hes gay now Itachi: -folds arms and poutsSakura: L-lets move on, ne?
Yay, I had to hac- er Borrow my brothers account to get review this. It's funny. Poor Sakura, one day you will be free. After Orochimaru has his way with your body. Anyway I'll ask you the same questions I asked Ino. 1. Are you ticklish 2. If you and Sasuke had a kid what would his name be. 3. How does it feel to be trapped in a room with sadistic ninjas and a guy who looks up doggie porn. That's it. Believe it(BTW thats my name).

Orochimaru: I like this one Sakura: no! I will escape before then! I will! Orochimaru: You keep telling yourself that. Sakura: So, ignoring thatuh-shifty eyes- like I said earlier, I would name our boy after the first Hokageandright now it feels terrible. Kiba: Waitaminutewho the FUCK has been looking up doggie porn?! Thats just sick and wrong! Everyone besides Shino: -staresShino: They think you do, babe. Kiba: -mouth drops open- What do you people think of me?! God! I dont do things like that! Orochimaru: Rightwhy would you when you and Akamaru have the real thing?

Kiba: -speechless- -for about a second- YOU BASTARD!! Shino:-holds Kiba back- Kiba-kun! Hes not worth it! Orochimaru: Yeah, and Id kill your ass. Kiba: Come try it Jackass! Orochimaru: -starting up- maybe I will! Jiraiya: -holding Orochimaru back- Oro, stop. Hes just a loud-mouth kid. -stand offSakura: so yeah nexItachi: WAIT! Kabuto: what? Something to add about your hair products? Itachi: Nooo. Did anyone else notice anything amiss? Kabuto: Not realheylittle cherry-head here never answered the first question. Kabuto/Itachi: -close in on SakuraSakura: h-huh? Oh, hehe, silly methe answer is no! I am most definitely not ticklish! Kabuto: -pausing- Itachi, do you believe her? Itachi: -pausing also- Wellll, Kabuto, she is a very honest little kunoichi. Kabuto: True, true butone can never be too sure Itachi: lets test the answer shall we? Kabuto: yes, lets Sakura: -as they bear down on her- no! no! get away from me! NOOOOO!!!! -later, after much tickling, flailing, laughing, and accidental groping that somehow got the entire room involved, they all lie around panting on the floorOrochimaru: -between pants- ThatwasbetterthananOrgy. Kiba: -gives Oro an exhausted high-five- Amen to that, snake-man. Orochimaru: -turning to his other side where Gaara is- youve got some mean hands kid. Gaara: -smirking-Youre not so bad yourself.

Jiraiya: -who is lying across Oro- I havent had that much fun in AGES. Itachi: I havent LAUGHED in ages. Kabuto: But you laughed about Sasuke being gay Itachi: oh yeah Shino: -is asleep, lying next to KibaLucifel: again, Awwwww Sakura: -getting up from between Gaara and Itachi, hair all messy, arent you so fucking jealous?!- Well, that was an unexpected interlude. And, since this has already gone on long enough Orochimaru: no! not long enough! There must be more! Sakura: Well go ahead and address the last writer for today:
Haruko: Right, while the other two are gone, now is my chance! O~ro~chi~ma~ru~sa~ma~! Please, please, pretty please send me any video footage you have of... well, you know... *suggestive eyebrows* Really, my NaruSasu porn is getting ridiculously low... Oh, and to stick with the ask Sakura theme... WHY AREN'T YOU HAVING AN ORGY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?!

Sakura: oh hey! How are your sisters? are they your sisters? Orochimaru: Oh, if he LET me video tape it, believe me, Id be selling it. But as it standshes too shy. On the otherhand Ive got this stuff with Kabu Kabuto: youve got WHAT?! Orochimaru: didnt you know I was taping it? Kabuto: NO! Orochimaru: Oh, shit. Well, I can give you part of the profits. Kabuto: PROFITS?! Orochimaru: Hell yeah. You wouldnt believe what it goes for Kabuto: Im not hearing this Sakura: And anyway, your question -Everyone exchanges glances-

Itachi: did we just have one? Orochimaru: no, like I said, it was BETTER. Kiba: AMEN! -the scene fades with lots of laughter and collapsing with exhaustion. Were all gonna sleep now. See you for the next installment!-

Ask Sakura 6 -The first person to wake up that morning was Orochimaru; he looked around and found that he was lying next to Jiraiya and Kabuto, and then lay back down, cuddled closer to Jiraiya, and went back to sleep-Jiraiya woke up to the movement on his left, and without bothering to get all the way awake, merely turned over and put his arm over that person-Shino and Kiba woke up at the same time, together, of course, but also found Gaara tangled in with them. Too afraid to wake the sand-ninja up, and perfectly happy lying together, they didnt move-When Itachi woke up he found himself on the edge of the tangled group, next to Sakura, on the other side of which was Kabuto, he slowly stood up and started straightening his rumpled outfit, muttering about not being able to wash his hair that morning-Kabuto woke up facing Sakura, who was snoring softly and looking really cute, but since Kabuto doesnt like anyone but Orochimaru, he only thought that in an endearing way and then turned around and went numb in shock at the sight of Orochimaru and Jiraiya hugging in their sleep.-Sakura woke up when Kabutos elbow knocked into her as he fell back in surprise, and she slowly sat up and blinked groggily, surveying the room.Lucifel: All right enough of this! EVERYONE GET UP!!!!!!! Everyone: -jumps awake, startled and sleepyKiba: Sakura-chan, why did you do that? Sakura: -just as startled as everyone else- I didnt! Jiraiya: -slowly and confusedly removing Orochimaru from his arms- Well who else is that loud of a girl? Lucifel: heehee Sakura: -sigh- never mind -A few moments of awkward silence as everyone tries to figure out how the events of last night even happenedSakura: I guess Ill go ahead and get down to the questions Kiba: Im hungry

Dear Sakura, Hiya!! I hope u can get there out alive and still being a virgin you're still a virgin are you? Q1(4 Ita-chan!)hey Ita-chan got you're frappacino!here ya go!*gave Ita-chan frappacino* soo...if I became the strongest person in the world would you marry me? if not can i be you're whore or friend? Q2(4 Hima-chan[that's orochimaru])hey Hima-chan who's better in bed Kabu-chan or Gay-chan(that's SasuGAY)? Q3(4 Ba-chan[That's Kiba])hey Ba-chan, do you fuck like a dog? Q4(4 Kura-chan[That's Sakura])hey Kura-chan if Gay-chan didn't want you and you don't want to have a husband or something will you get a manwhore or will you be a whore or you will just be single for the rest of your pitiful life? Q5(4 everybody!) hey Gay-chan's second goal is to repopulate the uchiha clan right? but if he's gay do you think he will do male pregnantcy with Hima-chan? well that's all folks! bye bye! time 4 me to watch looney tunes! PS i love all u guys cept Lee he just creeps me out

Orochimaru: After last night? No one is. Sakura: Ahem! Yes, of course, I am. Im saving myself for Sasuke! Kabuto: Dying virginsuch a sad fate. Sakura: hmpf. Itachi: -groggy groan- Its too early in the morning to answer---oh, hey, my frappucino! Takes and drinks happily- Anyway, I dont plan to marry anyone, so no. And if I ever saw someone who was starting to become stronger than me Id kill them before they could kill me. Kabuto: What if theyre, like, in America? Jiraiya: Wheres America? Kabuto: Across an ocean. Jiraiya: -to Orochimaru- is he high? Orochimaru: Hes always like this in the mornings. Itachi: I kill them anyway. And as for the rest of your question, all my whores are men (Im gay, and plus, theres no pregnancy risk) and I dont have any friends. Eyes frappucino- -mutters- butIguesssinceyoubroughtmemyfrappucinowecanbe. Everyone: -stares-

Itachi: what? Jiraiya: Awww, is Itachi getting some snuggly, cuddly, fwiends? Itachi: Do you see me doing any cuddling? Jiraiya: wellno Itachi: Then shut the fuck up. Orochimaru: SO, to answer my question Kabuto: -watches intentlyOrochimaru: ok, its hard to tellSo, with Kabuto Im always on top, no struggle, cuase hes just a loyal dog like that. Its nice. Hes got a good body, and he knows how to be a sexy submissive. Kabuto: -smiles triumphantlyItachi: Sasukes not always on the bottom with you? Jiraiya: You say that like you have experience with him Itachi: -shifty eyesJiraiya: -goes greenish-ly paleOrochimaru: Just listen you two! With Sasuke, yes, of course, Im always on top. But he wants to be on top, so he fights and struggles, and makes me keep control of him. When he finally gives up and can only lye panting underneath me while ISakura: STOP! STOP!! STOP!!! Jiraiya: That is going a little far, Oro. Orochimaru: Fine, fine! Anyway, they both have their good points, but since Sasuke doesnt mind when theres someone else in the bed, Im going with Sasuke. Sakura: NOOOOO! Kabuto: NOOOOO! Kiba: uh, well, while you guys are doing that I guess Ill answer the nex-blinks-huh, I shouldnt be surprised by nowanyway, I dont I-

Shino: If by fuck like a dog you mean with wild, animalistic strength and nipping, licking and all sorts of utter carnal pleasure and release then yes, he fucks like a dog. Kiba: -jaw dropsGaara: -excited twitchShino: If you mean wherever and whenever-wry smile- sometimes, that too. Kiba: -still shockedGaara: -still enraptured by the thoughtKabuto: Ne, Sakura-chan, why dont you answer the question to you before Shino divulges any more info about his and Kibas sexual life-wary glanceSakura: H-haiso, if Sasuke didnt want me Ita/Oro: he DOESNT! Sakura: IF Sasuke didnt want me, depending n the circumstancesWell, honestly Ill never stop loving him, and could never give myself to any other man. I guess I could try to move on butI just cant imagine it Kabuto: So no marrying Lee? Sakura: That was if I HAD to get married Kabuto: harsh Kiba: -snicker- whos taking this last one? Everyone: -reads- -shockItachi: -mutters- I dont know why were still surprised by these things Orochimaru: Ill take this. Ok, well, first of all, eww. No kids. Ever. Gross. I dont need anyone to carry on my line because Ill live forever, thats all. Itachi: Plus, I bet hed just get a surrogate mother if he really wanted kids Sakura: -hopefulKiba: Ooh, harsh P.S. for Fuzzy-brows Orochimaru: All that matters is that Im loved.

Jiraiya: -rolls eyes- ok, whatever Oro-mutters- always was an attention whore Orochimaru: ever wonder whose attention I was trying to get? Jiraiya: -small smileSakura: Well, lets move on
Dear Sakura, Did you enjoy your little tickle fest?? -envious- You know you did! -pouts- Btw, I'm holding Lee hostage, so there! XP And, what's your favorite food?? PS. Kabuto: I know how you feel...T.T my master doesn't pay me any mind, either...-chibi eyes ItachiItachi: Here's your frappuchino, btw! PSS. Orochimaru: I know we've had our differences...but let's let bygones be bygones...now how much does one of those tapes cost again? Your loyal reader, Yorick!

Sakura: hey Yorick! So umm Orochimaru: ok, show of hands, who enjoyed the tickle-orgy? Everyone but Gaara and Sakura: -raises handGaara: -barely noticeably raises handSakura: -slowlyraises handOrochimaru: And there you have it. Next! Sakura: W-wait! Youre holding Lee hostage?! Kabuto: Come now, its not like you actually care about the boy. Sakura: B-but I do! Kabuto: So you like him? Sakura: yes! Kabuto: So youd go out with him? Sakura: no! Kabuto: So you dont like him? Sakura: But I do! Its justI justII

Orochimaru: You broke her. Kabuto: Yeahoops. Sakura: Ok-shakes head- uh, my favorite food is candied lotus roots. Theyre really, really, yummy and theyre the first thing I remember seeing Sasuke eating. gooey smileKiba: -clutches throat and makes gagging noisesItachi: -looks away from Chibi eyes- those dont work on me-glances over shoulderand youre late. The sugar queen or whatever already gave me one. looks away again-glances over again at chibi eyes--sigh- well, dammit, I guess I can always drink another one. takes frap and sips itJiraiya: So basically if any of the Uchihas had wanted to survive all they had to do was give you a frappucino and make chibi eyes at you? Itachi: no!...of course not-poutsOrochimaru: -snickers- hehe, well, Yorick, the average going price is 10,000,000 yen plus your soul-smileKabuto: And people are actually buying those? Orochimaru: Hell yeah! People line up JUST to hand over their souls to me! And for a bit of money too, they can get a gift of you and me banging it! Kabuto: -rubbing forehead- good god Sakura: Next question
Sakura... Please get it on with Itachi... We all know you cant make it with sasuke, why not his bro!! If he runs... Tie him to a chair... Now onto question ^^ itachi... when did you relise you were gay.. oh yeah, here is ur frappucino -smilesOrochimaru..do you share a room with sasuke and kabuto? ps. orochimaru... you should stick to touching yourself at night rather then hitting on young virgins -looks at sakura then waves ^^And.. where is kurenai o.0? :D __vivian

Sakura: -open-mouthed shock-

Itachi: -wide-eyed shock- Her? Tie me to a chair? Righttell me, were you high when the pigs flew past your window? Orochimaru: now, now, this is for answering questions, not asking them. Itachi: whatever. makes w signOrochimaru: Good boy, now answer the question. Itachi: Oha long time ago. That best friend? Lost it to himwhen I was ten. Orochimaru: Dayum, thats hard core! Kiba: Is THAT why you killed everyone? Did they not accept you or something? Itachi: -scowlKabuto: Umm, youve got another-Itachi: Yeah, I know. takes frappucino and gives it to Gaara who is sitting next to himGaara: -hesitantly sips-..-goes wide-eyed and starts selfishly devouring itOrochimaru: -smiles at how cute Gaaras being- So yeahumwhy? Sasuke was a virgin and that was freaking awesome. Sakura: -weakly waves back- Im going to die here Kiba: Heh, Im glad Kurenais not hereshed probably Kurenai: Id probably what? Kiba: eep. Sakura: Kurenai-sensei! At last a sane person! runs to KurenaiKurenai: -hugs Sakura- Sakura-chanare you ok? looks around the room- Holywhy are all of you in here together? Orochimaru: Question; can you get out of this room? Kurenai: -looks around- uhno Orochimaru: And that would be why. Kurenai: Oh-glares at Itachi-

Itachi: -sticks tongue out between his finger in a v shapeKurenai: -goes paleJiraiya: -thinks- Yessss! An older, full-bodied woman! Finally! says- Ne, Kurenai, dont worry, Ive been keeping the kids safe. Kabuto: How? By flirting with Orochimaru? Jiraiya: I wasnt flirting! I was keeping his attention off of Sakura! Kabuto: Of course you were, and I suppose thats also why you two were so cuddly this morning? Jiraiya: Of course it was! Orochimaru: -hurt scoff- Well fine then! Storms off to sulk next to GaaraJiraiya: IbutI just Kurenai: How did you survive this long Sakura? Sakura: I have no ideawell, we have another questions from the three sisters. Kurenai: Youre in here answering questions? From who? Kabuto: I honestly think shes making it all up to flirt with Itachi. Sakura: I am not!! Kiba: -groan- just get to the question
Haruko: *giggles* that has satisfied my orgy question... hey, did you know tickling is considered a fetish?! *lewd grin* Genki: *groan* Nee-chan... Haruko: Aw, that's uber cute~! I'm sure Naruto used hidden cameras on Uke-kun for my stuff... *leafing through NaruSasu pornos* Daidou: *shakes head* Um... I'll handle the first question... Er... about you all being locked in a room... I've seen Orochimaru-sama used a jutsu that makes you disappear in a cloud of smoke once or twice in the past, as have a few other nija... why not use that and let everyone out from the outside? Genki: That's Nee-san, always logical. Daidou: Ah... Genki: Now, I have a question! Orochimaru (and no, you're not getting a suffix), why not use that Jonin disguise more often? Really, it was a huge improvement from the norm... Haruko: *popps up* Ne~! In payment for OroKabu porn, will you take some NaruSasu porn~? Uke-kun is so cute in this one~! Genki: Freakin' pervert... Daidou: Ah... bye for now! >.

Orochimaru: Oh Godthese chicks again. Kiba: Heh, I think theyre funny. Shino: -puts arm around Kiba possessivelyItachi: Well, we all know it is now. Orochimaru: too True. And as for why notwell, I didnt think of it at first, but now Im having too much fun! Kurenai: -roles eyes and tries- -she stays right where she is. - Damn, it doesnt work Lucifel: Of course it doesnt mwuhahahahaha Sakura: Eep Orochimaru: why the fuck dont I get a suffix? And whats wrong with the way I usually dress? Looks at his own attire- I think its cool. Jiraiya: Yeah and youre the only one. Orochimaru: -glares- and alsouh, I dont really have any desire to see Naruto and Sasuke going at it, that blonde kid isnt really my type. What else you got? Remember, you can always just hand over your soul Kurenai: Youve been getting people to sign over their souls for porn?! Orochimaru: Hell yeah. Making great profit too-claps hands- I love my work! Itachi: Yeah, I bet Sasuke loves your work too Orochimaru: Thank you. He does. Sakura: Kurenai senseiwill you kill me? Kurenai: Dont be ridiculous. Youll be fine. Well get out of here eventually. When I dont meet Asuma this afternoon hell come looking Kiba: hey! Lewd grin- Why were you meeting Asuma, sensei? Kurenai: To go over some mission stats, you dirty-minded little boy. Kiba: -sticks out tongue- yeah right. Sakura: Lets just hope so

Lucifel: Will Asuma come looking for Kurenai? If he gets here, will he even be able to get them out (I think you know, but its fun to tease them)? Was that the real reason Kurenai was meeting him? Will Orochimaru and Jiraiya make up and make out? Will Sakura try to rape Itachi? Stayed tuned for the next installment of Ask Sakura!! Itachi: And keep the Frappucinos coming, theyre good. Gaara: -nods in agreement-

Ask Sakura 7 Lucifel: Hello lovely people! While I have all your attention I would like to make a humble request. I put up this fic a month ago called Loyalty Eternal about Zabuza and Haku and it is a Crossover with Samurai Champloo. Haku gets kidnapped by Kyo (from Samurai Deeper) and Zabuza, with Jins help goes to get him back. I have received no reviews, and this makes me sad tear- so, if I could be so rude, Id like to request you give it a look, and review. It need only be a small thing such as: I liked it. Or: I did not like it. Here to persuade you further is the one and only Haku-chan! Haku: ummhi. Adorable smile and wave- Well, as a favor to Lucifel I am here to go ahead and ask you to review the story. Just assume its what wouldve happened to us had we never met Naruto and his group. I dont know why she thinks Im that persuasive, but I guess its no problem to help her out! Lucifel: Because youre cute and people lurve you! Anyway! On with Ask Sakura!! Haku: Ehwhy I am still here? Zabuza: More importantly why am I here? Lucifel: Because you two are so adorable together! Zabuza: This isnt exactly what I meant by going to the same place as you Haku: -giggle- Well, Im glad youre here, Zabuza-san. Sakura: H-HakuZ-ZabuzaWhat are you doing here? Arent youarent youdead? Haku: Last I checked. cute smileOrochimaru: -eyeing Zabuza hungrily- Whore the little girl and brooding warrior? Haku: -smile and gigglesKabuto: Orochimaru-Sama, Im pretty sure thats a boy. Orochimaru: -shifts attention to Haku- even better Itachi: I thought you were bi. Orochimaru: I ambut I like cute little boys more than cute little girls. Zabuza: -puts arm around Haku- If you make one false move towards Haku Ill Haku: Zabuza-san, calm down. Ill be fine.

Zabuza: -smiles and pats Hakus head endearinglyLucifel: Oh my fucking God theyre so CUTE!!!! Sakura: This just keeps getting weirder Jiraiya: Why dont you just get on with questions? Lucifel: I did receive a lot of emwhew, thisll take a while. Sakura: Oh, yeah, right. Ok, first question comes from Chaos Blossom!
Ok here's a dare/question 4 ya. sakura, i dare you to go up and lay on whoever and start to suduce them, also if had to ditch sasuke who else would you pick? PS:but not deidara he is mine

Sakura: Im sorry, this is an questions only deal and Itachi: ah, ah, ah, Sakura-chan. Be a good girl and do as the reader asks. Sakura: but whyyy?! Lucifel: Because Orochimaru is still really horny. Sakura: -whimpers- fine-looks around room to see who she should seduce.Heres the mental list: Jiraiya-too old Shino-too creepy Kiba-Shinod kill me Kabuto-just no Orochimaru-..-shudderKurenai-is a woman Haku-Zabuzad kill me Zabuza-...too scary Gaara-would kill me Itachi-Is evil and I would never betray Sasuke!! Sakura:-sigh- -mutters- Kabuto it is. -Sakura walks over to where Kabuto is sitting against a wall, watching Orochimaru flirt with Zabuza, arms folded in a sulk. Trying to keep her composure, Sakura sits down beside him and leans across his lap-

Kabuto: Ummhi? Sakura: Hey. Kabuto: Do you need something? Sakura: -leaning in- no, I just thought we might discuss some more things about Sasuke and Orochimaru Kabuto: Psh, theres nothing to discuss. Ill work on it when we get out of this hell-hole. -Kurenai sees Sakura and Kabuto and starts to head over, but Itachi holds her back, trying not to laugh hystericallySakura: Yeah, it really does suck in hereI mean, really none of my friends are here, and Im just feeling kind of down-attempts cute pouty faceKabuto: -slight blush- Yeah, but, I meanwith the whole tickling party Sakura: Oh, that was fine, but I really didnt get that much attention after everyone else joined in, and everyone else got to sleep cuddled with someone they really liked, and I just slept mostly by myself Kabuto: Well, who would you have wanted to cuddle with? Sakura: -playing with the fabric of his pants- ohno one in particular-looks up shylyKabuto: Just wishing Sasuke were here? Sakura: -sitting up- yeah! Exactly! Stalks back over to Itachi leaving Kabuto utterly confused- There, I failed. Happy? Itachi: but you didnt keep it up long enough! He was almost yours! Kurenai: Why are you putting up with this? Sakura: I cant explain it Kurenai-senseijust let me get on with the questions Kurenai: -shakes head in disbeliefSakura: Anyway, about your question. No one. There is no one I would ever be with besides Sasuke. Itachi: I thought you would marry Lee? Sakura: Only if I HAD to marry someone.

Itachi: oh I seesure. Rolls eyesSakura, why are you trying to put moves on Naruto is it because Sasuke is gone. You should stay liking Sasuke, you belong with him. And why did you let Sasuke come between you and Ino and he doesn't even like you (not yet)

Sakura: what? No! I would never try to play with Naruto like that! What are you talking about? And I think Ino and I would have grown apart either wayits just how things happen-sighHaku: This is a very strange situation Kiba: And you werent even here for the best parts! Zabuza: those being? Kiba: Oh you know, Frappucinos, tickling parties, finding out Sasukes gay Zabuza: the black-haired kid? Psh, I could have told you that. Shino: -snickerhi all Kabuto -- too bad you are acting gay instead of bi -- you and Sakura would be cute together. Anyway Sakura: has your cooking got better? If you could see anyone, other than Sasuke or Kakashi, nude -- who would it be? Who is the one person you absolutely never want to be paired with? Kazster

Kabuto: What the fucking fuck? Sakura: -blush- Um, about my cookingyeahits gotten a little better, I hope. I got some recipes and tips from Choji Kiba: Please stop talking about food-stomach growlsSakura: -sigh- yeah. Orochimaru: -munch, munchKiba: You have FOOD?! Orochimaru: Well yeah, I always carry some provisions with mebut this is my last-Kiba: -lunges- GIVE IT TO ME!!!!

-They fight, the granola bar gets thrown out of Orochimarus hand and lands in front of Gaara, who picks it up and shares it with ItachiKiba/Oro: -stop fighting and sit pantingKiba: Damn you, where did you put it? Orochimaru: huh? I thought you had it Kiba/Oro: It must still be somewhere in this room!! They begin searching franticallySakura: So, I wouldnt really want to see Kakashi nude Itachi: Dont lie. Sakura: -scowl- but I guess the person would have to beumwell Kabuto: Cmon. We all wanna know who you think about at night. Sakura: -mutters something inaudibleKabuto: -leaning in close- Whaaaaat? Sakura: Kabuto! Kabuto: -stunnedEveryone else: .. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -this continuesSakura: stop! Stop! Its not that funny! Orochimaru: Y-yes it is-pantsSakura: -sits pouting until they stopKabuto: -sits stunned even after they stopJiraiya: Ok, go ahead and answer the restsnrrk. Sakura: yeah fine Inner Sakura: Sure now that youve all had your kicks with mebastards Sakura: This is an easy one. Orochimaru.

Orochimaru: Oh, ouch. Weepy eyes- That hurts Sakura. It hurts right here pats chestInner Sakura: Ask me if I care. Sakura: Next ques Kiba: -GASPKurenai: What is it? Kiba: -dramatically- I have followed the trail of the Granola bar all the way to GAARAS STOMACH!! Gaara: eh? Shino: Oh, too bad for y Kiba: It has taken hiding within Gaara! COME OUT YOU LITTLE FUCKER!! Gaara:-trying to push Kiba away as Kiba tries todo something involving Gaaras stomach- Wtf? Jiraiya: -To Kurenai- Is your kid gonna be ok? Kurenai: -sigh- hes just hungry Jiraiya: Well, heck, so am I, but Im not trying to get a granola out of Gaaras stomach. I know better. It would be all covered in sand. Kurenai: -backs away slowlySakura: next question please
HI SAKURA :D i will give sasuke back if you totally convince gaara to answer this question. 1.can you kill kankuro for me? he is reeaally annoying and looks like some wierdo who sacrafices crap! either that or kill orochimaru. he told me your sand looks pink, are you gay or something? HAHA! have fun!! no hard feelings right sakura? PLEASE CAN WE BE FRIENDS?

Sakura: You! I refuse to answers questions from you!! Itachi: Ok, well, I guess Kabuto and I will have to answer for youif Kabuto snaps out of it anytime soon eyes the still-shocked Kabuto- lets seeshe weighs about two hundred pounds and he hair is pink because Sakura: enough! Enough! Fineheythey never asked my weight!

Itachi: Yeah, and? Sakura: -scowlInner Sakura: You fucking bastard!!!!! Orochimaru: -thinks- Whoathat was an intense onehehe, must be hard to be so horny.. Sakura: -glances at Gaara who is still trying to keep Kiba away from him- UmI really dont have any desire to kill Kankuro Gaara: -suddenly beside her- WHOS trying to kill Kankuro? Sakura: -small, evil grin- oh, just this girl called Hilarious Tragedy Gaara: -cracks knuckles and Glares- m coming for you, bitch.waitOrochimaru said my sand looks pink? Sakura: -another evil smile, bigger- He did, I heard him. Gaara: -turns on OrochimaruOrochimaru: Whats your problem kid? Gaara: Say it again. Orochimaru: Say what? Gaara: You know what! Go ahead, say it again and see what happens. Orochimaru: UmIve said a lot of things. Gaara: Yeah, thats right. You keep being cute, well see how cute you are when Im done. Orochimaru: hah? -lots of cartoonish banging, smoke clouds, and swearingwhich therefore makes it BETTER than looney toons!-The fight ends, they lie panting and Orochimaru pulls out a mirrorOrochimaru: Nope, Im still pretty cute. Jiraiya: -Rolls eyes-

Orochimaru: -hurt glance at JiraiyaSakura: mehehehe. Now that Gaaras answered the question you must return Sasuke!!...Well see about the friends thing. Until next time guys!! Gaara: -sits up and points- m coming for you bitch.

Ask Sakura-A small note Hi Everyone! Its Angel Lucifel, the wonderfully perverted yaoi-fangirl who is currently writing the tragic story of about a dozen Shinobi trapped in a room where they are forced to answer the questions any of you lovely people feel free to ask! Especially Sakura. Heeheehee. Now, I am here in between chapters to make some humble requests: One, hold off questions for a bit. Im overwhelmed. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE being overwhelmed, this has made me SO happy to have such a big response, but right now Im like, a page behind and more keep coming in! gaaah!! So, if you could, resist from asking questions until I postummprobably chapter eleven. Then I should be caught up (expect long chapters XD) Another reason why you should do this is because when I keep getting so many reviews I feel more pressured to write quickly and then shudder- I loose the humor that could be! (thank you Kohaku-chan for making sure things stay funny) Two, please, try to keep your questions a wee bit shorter. You ranters know who you are, and oh how your reviews make me giggle, but its hard to answer such long letters. Hold back just a bit, ok? Three, I moving the limit to Three questions per letter. K? Feel free to ask questions every chapter, (after chapter eleven) but this way more people per edition will be answered! Four, Im gonna start updating every other day. Ive been doing two or three a day (thats how obsessed I becameand why my brain has run out of funniness) but I need to let myself really do these right. So, every other dayand thats just so I dont fall too far behind. (This is, of course, subject to change should I receive less than four reviews for a chapter, or if Im sick, on vacation, etc, etc.) Five, and this is IMPORTANT, I got a few reviews (mostly from the same person) going on about things that happen after the time-skip. I understand the reasons behind them, but I, being the horribly lazy fan that I am, have only watched up to when the fillers start. So, remember that this is supposed to be taking place at about that time. K? Just remember that, so if you think wait, so-and-so died, and so-and-so went and did this thats the reason. Ok! Thats it! I love all of you! (even the yaoi-haters XD) and if you could just do these couple things, Id love you all the more! This has made me so, so, so, so happy, you do not even realize! I look forward to the reviews Ill get after Chapter eleven! P.S. Feel free, of course, to look at and review my other stories! XD remember, Haku wants you to!!

Ask Sakura 8
Genki: 'These chicks'? WHY YOU SEXIST SON OF A-! Daidou: Genki-chan! Hush! Besides, the more we write these things, the more everyone else suffers being stuck in that room... Haruko: HA! -pops up holding something triumphantly- I found it!! Genki: I'm afraid to ask... but found what? Haruko: -lewd grin- Ultimate payment... Oro-kun~! I like my soul where it is... but how about a photo album of Uke-kun in Gothic Lolita dresses? Daidou: -pales- Where on Earth did you get... THAT?! Haruko: Same place i got my NaruSasu porn... Naruto. Genki: O.o Haruko: Anyways... Kiba, we found Akamaru~! He's with us! Akamaru: Woof! Genki: ... Daidou: Ha ha... we fed him... so we'll give him back when you're out of there... ^^; Haruko: -waves album- PLEASE SAY THIS IS PAYMENT ENOUGH!! I WANT PR0N! Other two: -hug- Eep... Akamaru: UO.OU Woof...

Sakura: ha! We start today right off with a question! So no interference! -Kiba tackles Gaara in the background, screaming you cant hide in there forever! as he does soOrochimaru: Wow, you chicks really are bitches Sakura: what? Whyyy?! Im not sexist! I like you guys! Why are you hurting me? Orochimaru: GASP! grabs album- thatll do. starts excitedly leafing through itSakura: Kiba, do you wanna stop trying to rip Gaaras stomach open for a minute and come see this. Kiba: -scrambles over--reads letter-YOU BITCHES!!!! GIVE HIM BACK RIGHT NOW OR ILL Kurenai: Kiba-kun, calm down, it sounds like theyre taking good care of him. Kiba: -holds up hand- No, Kurenai-sensei, this is a matter of pride. Akamaru is my responsibility. If I dont do this Ill never be able to look anyone from my clan in the face again. I have tough! faints as Shino knocks him over the headKurenai: -catching Kiba and gently laying him down- Good move Shino. Shino: -nods- Well wake him up when we have food to give him, that should make himless crazy Kurenai: yeah Shin/Kurenai: -sigh-

Orochimaru: OH MY GOD!! Sakura: What now? Orochimaru: these pictures are so CUTE!! Itachi: -blushing- Can Ican I see? Orochimaru: -shock- umI guess so. Whatll you give me? Its worth quite a high price. Itachi: -smirk-Itachi then grabbed Orochimarus collar and pulled him into a kiss so passionate and intense everyone in the room could feel it just by watchingItachi: -leans backOrochimaru: -breathless- Thatll do. Itachi: -Sits down and starts looking at albumOrochimaru: -to Jiraiya- You wanna look? Kinky eyebrowsJiraiya: Ahno thanks. Orochimaru: -small pout and then giddy smile again as he looks back at the albumSakura, I'm going to be real blunt with you: I think that you are a useless fangirl (that doesn't even deserve to be called a kunoichi) that only daydreams about getting it on with Sasuke, who is clearly gay. And doesn't even deserve to fuck with OROCHIMARU! In fact, I like Ino better, at least she doesn't try to hide the fact that she is a slut. (breathes)Okay, I'm done. Now on with the questions! Dear Sakura, 1. Why do you always call Naruto annoying when you're really the one that is annoying? 2. If Sasuke never existed, who would you go after? 3. For Itachi: Why did you paint your toenails purple? Were you trying to be more gay or did you just secretly wanted to be a girl? 4. For Orochimaru: Why don't you just give up on Sasuke and be with Kabuto, you two are clearly meant to be? 5. For Gaara: How is it that you can manage to be so scary yet so sexy at the same time? PS: Aww, Kiba, Shino, would you mind if I videotape you two screwing each other? 'holds camera up'

Sakura: -goes teary eyed- b-butI justII love himI cant just ignore thatIno isnt better than meshes not-whine, weep, cry, whine.Zabuza: -to Shino- Wanna knock her out to? Shino: I dobut I cant.

Zabuza: Why not? Shino: Shes the whole theme of this story. Zabuza: huh? Shino: -silenceZabuza: -backs away slowlyIta/Oro: -Giggle at one of the picturesGaara: -discreetly peeks over Itachis shoulderJiraiya: now, now, Sakura, just calm down and answer the questions Sakura: I dont want to! These people are horrible! Itachi: I guess Ill answer then Sakura: No! no! Ill do it Itachi: -triumphant smirk and goes back to picturesSakura: .-lip quivers- See? The question is so MEAN! Kurenai: Dammit, Sakura, stop being a pussy and answer the damn question! Everyone not knocked out or looking at the album: -shocked stareKurenai: What? Sakura: I call Naruto annoying because he is, and I cant imagine a world without Sasuke. Jiraiya: Is that it? Kabuto: -finally snaps out of shockSakura: Ask a mean question, get a blunt answer. Itachi: -while still looking at pictures- Yeahbut the truth is if Sasuke never existed shed be all over Kabuto right now. Kabuto: -goes back in-

Sakura: no! Thats not true! Answer your question already! Itachi: Fine, fineI paint my toenails so they look pretty. Jiraiya: -twitchy stareHaku: -looks at them- They do look very pretty. Zabuza: -face-palmItachi: thank you. Flips page and makes a small noise of excitement as Orochimaru claps his handsGaara: -looks at toenails--looks back at picturesOrochimaru: -looks up from album- Im not meant for anyone. I just screw people, its what I do. goes back to albumGaara: -looks up- Im not answering any questions, get it in your heads. glaresItachi: And that would be how. Gaara: -glaresLucifel: HEY! That P.S. Technically makes a sixth question!! You sneak! Shino: -Looks down at the unconscious Kiba- Well, we wont be doing anything right nowand I prefer to keep him to myself. smirkOrochimaru: -looking up again- I-is he that good? Shino: -nodsOrochimaru: If anyone else wants kabu/me porn I will accept Kiba (with anyone but Naruto or someone weird like konohamaru or something) porn in exchange! Shino: There better not be any
Wow I can't believe you did the tickling thing. Anyway time for questions. 1. If Sasuke tried to kill you, would you try to defend yourself, or would you just stand their and let him kill you? 2. This ones for Itachi. Since your Undoubtedly the strongest person in the show, why don't you take over the world, and make everyone your slaves. -Believe itPS: Sakura, you won't escape before Orochimaru rapes you. He will probably tie you to the chair to make sure you don't get away.

Orochimaru: Whats not to believe! It was freaking awesome! Haku: I just wish I had been there Orochimaru: Oh, we can re-enact it for you. Zabuza: -puts arm around Haku possessively- Back off, creep. Orochimaru: Oh and youre not creepy? Zabuza: Of course I am. Orochimaru: So youwait...Ihmm sits to think up witty comeback but gets distracted by album againSakura: It would depend on the situationoverall I think I would defend myself, but I would gladly die for him if it would help him. Kabuto: -nods in understanding, but is still speechlessItachi: Oh gag me. And to answer your questionthats just not my objective. Orochimaru: Well, what IS your objective? Itachi: Not that. Orochimaru: -raises eyebrow- ooookand hey! Itachi is not the strongest! Ita/Gaa: -Scoot away from Oro with the albumJiraiya: Of course hes not. I am. Orochimaru: The fuck you are. Jiraiya: Itachi had to run from me. Orochimaru: Ive never even fought Itachi! Jiraiya: So he didnt run from you? Orochimaru: I. never. even. fought. him. Jiraiya: And therefore he didnt run from you. Orochimaru: Well, yeah, but

Jiraiya: Yeah. Thats what I thought Orochimaru: ButIyouStop screwing with my head! Jiraiya: I thought screwing was your thing. Orochimaru: When Im the one doing the screwing! Jiraiya: Its no fun if youre always the one on top. Orochimaru: -blinks in surprise- Well -smile and blushJiraiya: -walks away smirkingOrochimaru: -walks over to Itachi and Gaara and yanks the album from them, and starts going through it again, mind obviously elsewhereYo guys sorry about you being trapped in the room and Itachi I don't care if you're gay because I read ItachiXNaruto which I define as KAWAI! (Cute) yes I'm a boy and not gay because I also like NarutoXHinata and NarutoXTayuya I also like GaaraXNaruto because you guys are the same and my questions are 1) Orochimaru-san I hate you with passion but respect your work. But why do you have to be a pedophile? 2) Itachi-kun you're the sweetest evil character but why did you kill your clan? 3) Where is Hinata-chan and Naruto-Kun at the moment Sakura-san? 4) Gaara do you like Sakura or something because I'd support that too? 5) And finally Jiraiya are you going to turn into a yaoi pervert?

Jiraiya: You should hang your head in shame! What kind of man are you?! Itachi: MeandNaruto? horrorZabuza: -rolls eyesKurenai: Theres nothing wrong with that. I completely supported Anko when she got a girlfriend, does that make me a bad woman? Orochimaru: whoa! Hold up! Anko got a girlfriend? Kurenai: A long time ago. You didnt know? Orochimaru: Areare they still together? Kurenai: No.

Orochimaru: Ohdamn. Well, I agree with Kurenai. Nothing wrong with being a straight man who understands a good guy/guy couple when he sees one. Itachi: GOOD MY ASS! I would never, NEVER do anything with that loud-mouthed blonde kid! Gaara, youre in the same predicament, back me up! Gaara: -ignores and continues looking at the pictures of SasukeOrochimaru: Burn. And to answer your question, kid. First off, thank you for not being like that other brat thinks- whom I will find and strangle as soon as I get out of here. End thinking- and giving me due respect. And its just what I do. I screw people. And Im not gonna leave anyone out just because theyre a little younger than me, or the same gender Jiraiya: Or an animal. Orochimaru: Or an animalwait! Dammit Jiraiya that wasnt funny! Jiraiya: -snickerOrochimaru: -poutsItachi: -hands Orochimaru the album to make him feel better- and to answer my questionIm not answering it. Sakura: Thats not fair! You made me answer every single embarrassing question they asked! You have to! -And for one moment Itachis ears were opened to a sinister voice which warned him thus:Lucifel: And if you dont I wont let you have anymore Frappucinos ever. Itachi: -gasp- II-sigh-fine. MuttersKabuto: -Perking up finally- Come on Itachiiiispill it out. Itachi: ugh, fine. Theywouldnt let me paint my nails. Tears up at the memoryEveryone: -shock and horrorOrochimaru: -drops albumGaara: -picks up album and takes it with him to a cornerShino: -glances around and follows Gaara-

Kabuto: You killed everyone because of that? Itachi: -nodsOrochimaru: That is the single most petty and weird reason for mass-murder I have ever heardGod you are so freaking awesome!! Gaara: -feels a little less monstrousKurenai: oh, when the others hear about this Sakura: Naruto and Hinata are currently being held captive by the most horrible Ino-pig! Jiraiya: Whaaat? Were here with this shapeless strawberry and they get the hot blonde? Sakura: hey Inner Sakura: You pervert! Youre gonna get it! Im just as hot as that bitch!! Orochimaru: -thinks- Oh, there she goes againwaitwas it because he mentioned Ino? Kinky! XD Kabuto: Gaara. Come on, you can answer this one. Gaara: -flips page- No I cant. Shino: -turns page back- I wasnt done. Kabuto: Then I guess that means Gaara does have a thing for Sakura. Gaara: -snaps to his feet, glaring- and who the fuck said that? Kabuto:-checks- Lyon Ryuushi Gaara: -write name on list next to Hilarious Tragedys. - Oh, Im gonna be busy when I get out of here. Evil grinKurenai: Well, Jiraiya, Id like the answer to this next one as well. Sakura: -thinks- yeah, wouldnt we all Jiraiya: -ahem- Of course! It has become my new life goal to be the biggest pervert in every category ever!! Bwuhahahaha!! Kurenai: O.O

Orochimaru: -hopeful smile-Long, silent pausetumbleweeds blow byJiraiya: BWAHAHAHAHHA! You all bought it! Yeah right! I may be a pervert but Ill stick to lovely women, thank you. Kurenai: -relieved sighOrochimaru: -crushedKabuto: -tries to comfort OrochimaruOrochimaru:-shoves Kabuto away and goes to crouch in a corner making circles in the dust on the floorDear Sakura, I laugh at ur pain =P Okay Sakura why wont u answer the pink hair question? i saw a pic of Choujis mom she has pink hair, while her husband has red...and chouji is a brunette- were u and Choujis switch at birth or are you really related to them and thats why we don't ever see your family?! For Orochimaru- how can u not like Blondes there the best!! Anyway Sakura- bye bye!

Sakura: -dramatically- Why do they laugh?! Zabuza: Because this all just one, big ridiculous mess? Haku: -gigglesEveryones Thinking: -OMG! HE IS SO CUTE!!!Sakura: -shifty eyes- So onto the next Itachi: Sakura. Sakura: Y-yes? Itachi: you know better by now dont you? Sakura: -sigh- yes. Itachi: Good. So answer the kids question. Sakura: Uhwellmy hairummChoji and I Everyone: ANSWER THE QUESTION!!! Sakura: ItsnaturalandIhavenorelationtoChojiIswearbutthatsalie!!! Pants-

Itachi:okOrochimaru are you going to answer your question? Orochimaru: no Itachi: Fine, be emo like that. Orochimaru: -whines- Im not Itachi: No, no, its fine. Ill get you a nice Fall Out Boy CD for Christmas. Orochimaru: -whimper/poutSakura: Ok, last question for today;
Haha Yay ^^ -waves at kurenaiWill asuma come looking for kurenai... I HOPE NOT. questions... Kurenai... why dont you go out with kakashi? or maybe itachi? (they dont have lung cancer and they're HOT!) -smilesOrochimaru do you ever get funky/freaky with your tongue... 0.0 it looks like you can do many things with it xP Shino what colour eyes do you have? Itachi if everyone in the world died except kurenai, sakura and orochimaru who would you do it with? If you wanted all three xP ps. i dont think sasuke is gay... AND Jiriya get away from kurenai!! she is property of kakashi, asuma or itachi! __vivian

Sakura: Againthey laugh Haku: And on top of that they dont even want anyone to come save us. Zabuza: -mutters- You knowIm really starting to miss being dead Haku: I dont mind either way. leans against ZabuzaLucifel: OMG! Theyre cuter than Shino and Kiba!!! Shino: Kurenai-sensei, are you gonna answer the question? Kurenai: I thought this was Sakuras thing.

Itachi: Nah, were all stuck in this thing. Kurenai: -rolls eyes and mutters- I may as well clear this upKakashis not my type too irresponsible. Itachi: And me? Kurenai: Youre gay. Itachi: And if I wasnt? Kurenai: Youre evil Itachi: And if I wasnt? Kurenai: Then you wouldnt be you. Itachi: And if I wasnt? ...I mean if I was? Kurenai: Then youd be evil. Itachi: But what if I was me but I had never turned evil? Kurenai: I dont know who youd be then. Itachi: But am I sexy? Kurenai: -blush- I dont see what that Itachi: Thats all I wanted to know. Kurenai: That doesnt even have anything to do with Itachi: -is too busy admiring how sexy he is in a pocket mirrorKurenai: ugh, never mind. Kabuto: Since Orochimaru is currently moping, Ill answer his question for him. Kinky smile- all the time. Gaara: -nudges ShinoShino: -Looks up from album- huh? Oh. Black. Goes back to itOrochimaru: -looks up and slinks back over to the album-

Itachi: hmmmThe thing is, I could do any one of those people whenever I wanted. Kurenai/Sakura: THE HELL YOU COULD! Orochimaru: -mutters- yea, ya could. Itachi: So theres not much point to that question. Sakura: Well Sasukes not gay! Ita/Oro/Jira: but he is. Sakura: -whimpers and poutsKurenai: And Im not the property of anyone. SeethesJiraiya: -cowers- Never test the nerves of a frazzled feminist Men: -nod in agreementSakura: Well, its nice to end on a note that actually gets the men on the defensive. So until next time! Bye!!

Ask Sakura 9
Sakura-san (If you would like a different suffix I'd be happy to oblige), 1) If someone held a kunai to your head, which would you choose: A. Trade Inner Sakura for Shukaku or Kyuubi B. Join the Akatsuki or C. Set Shikamaru's pants on fire, just for the hell of it (I'm very, truly regretful Sakura-san, but I can't physically help you. You have my moral support to the fullest though!) Gaara-san (I know it's probably not worth the effort since you made your intentions clear, but I feel I should try), 2) If someone -stupidly- offered you a chance to be free of Shukaku-sama if you kissed Sakura-san, would you: A. Sand Coffin their deluded ass B. Go through with it or C. Stare blankly, turn around and suffer through Shukaku-sama whining about how you should be -thankful- that you have him (Again, I know you probably don't want to acknowledge this so please, feel free to totally disregard this) Orochimaru-sama (Ye Gods I feel so dirty and ashamed to write this but...) Do yo- ah, crap...- have you ever read yuri or implied yuri fanfics? *blushes* I'm not a pervert or anything, believe me, but there's a damn good implied yuri fic starring Anko-san and Sakura-san, written by a literary genius called Eimii. It's called Surien and I think it might intrest you, as well as the rest of the characters stuck giving advice to readers. (Forgive me Sakura-san, but I think you'd best read this separate from the males... Oh! Kurenai-senpai {I can't rightly call her 'sensei', considering my non-ninja status} also has a big role in it, as well as the rest of her squad.) Itachi-san (Should I give you a higher suffix? I'm not quite sure...), I know this isn't a question, but everybody else seems intent on giving gifts so I'd like to start with my most admired male character (not crazy-stalker admire, just, You're-So-Freakingly-Awesome-And-IReally-Wish-I-Could-Meet-You-Someday admire. And yes, I did just make up the word 'Freakingly'). I'll give the other characters gifts later on if they want but in the meantime... *Blushes and looks down before passing a Frappicino (NO idea how to spell that damn legal drug) Machine and numerous crates of Frappicino Mix along to Itachi-san in whatever way that happens* Y'know, just thought it would be a nice thing to give you since it's the Holidays and I know how horrible it can be to be depraved of caffeine in the most inopportune moments. So... anyways, please find the time to answer my questions (Except Gaara-san, because he specifically said he didn't want to) Sincerely, Kryah

Lucifel: So yeah, Kryah is my new best friend, btw. She makes me giggle. XD Itachi: Jesus CHRIST thats a long letter. Lucifel: And that is why I giggle. Kabuto: We have to answer ALL of that? Jiraiya: And this is when Im glad no ones really asking me that many questions. Shino: Has anyone found any food yet? Id really like to wake up Kiba sometime soon. Gaara: Why? Hes a pain.

Shino: Yeah, in the assif you know what I mean. Gaara: -evilly kinky smileOrochimaru: -nudging the album- Yeah, yeah, just keep flipping the pages. Sakura: Ok, well, to answer your questions: first off, no, san is perfectly fine. And Itachi: What the fuck is inner Sakura? Do ALL you bloody kids have demons in you?! Sakura: Anyway, Id probably have to go and trade inner Sakura. I could never join the Akatsuki andsetting Shikamarus pants on fire is too dangerous because Id be afraid hed be too lazy to put it out. Shino: -snickerSakura: Gaara, will yGaara: Cant you see Im BUSY?! gestures albumSakura: Y-yeah. Itachi: Im thinking Sand Coffin. Kabuto: Definitely. Sakura: Since Orochimarus busy as well we can definitely ski Orochimaru: Oh, its fine. Sakura: -thinks- IdontwanttoknowIdontwanttoknow Orochimaru: You bet your ass I do! Anko getting it on with other girls? I am THERE. Gaara: Where now? Orochimaru: Just go back to the pictures. Gaara: K. Itachi: You should probably use sama-goes all starry/wide eyed- ItsIts beautiful. places Frappucino machine gingerly on the ground.Gaara: -reaches out in awe to touch it-

Itachi: -slaps hand awayOrochimaru: Y-youre gonna share right? Itachi: Hell NO. Are you kidding me? Sakura: Im moving on now!
dear sakura, i'm back! I got a job in starbucks!! yay! discounts on frappacinos!woohoo!^^ oh!here Ita-chan and Gaachan your frappacinnos!! Q(4 Jirai-chan) why don't you cut your hair? cuz your hair sucks... the ppl who get 2 keep their long hair are Ita-chan and Hima-chan it looks better on them!! Q(4 Gaa-chan and Ita-chan) what type of frappacinno flavor u like caramel or mocha?Also Gaa-chan tell ur bro(i didn't remember his name) to take off the make up he looks like crap with it...T.T Q(4 Kura-chan) do u like any coffee from starbucks? and if u do which one? PS tell fuzzy..er i mean lee i'm sorry it wasn't me how wrote it that he creeps me out...it was my little brother...stupid lil' punk heh heh he shall be punished!!ha ha! bye bye!!^^

Orochimaru: I call Itachis share of those frappucinos! Itachi: -caressing the frap machine in total oblivionGaara: -snatches frap greedilyJiraiya: -snoreKabuto: -shoves Jiraiya- Ne, Jii-san. Someone actually asked you a question. Jiraiya: hrnk? Ohwhats wrong with my hair?! It is sage like! It is beautiful! It Kabuto: IS pretty gay-looking. Jiraiya: Maybe when youve lived half as long as I have you can talk. Kabuto: Maybe when you can think half as well as I can well have a discussion about that. Jiraiya: Why you!! -crashing and tumbling in the background behind a confused and worried Sakura. Words like smart-mouthed kid and perverted old geezer are among the few that can be made out.Gaara: I dont know my favorite flavor. You better just keep sending em.

Orochimaru: I thought you werent answering questions? Gaara: If it involves me getting Frappucinos or not I do. Orochimaru: Ah sips Itachis frapGaara: And back off about Kankuro, unless you wanna go on the list. GlaresItachi: -starts whistling as he makes his first frappucinoShino: Itachi, you are gonna share right? Itachi: -glares over his shoulderHaku: -to Zabuza- Zabuza-san, Im getting a little thirsty Itachi: -hands Haku the Frappucino he just made.Haku: -takes it- Thank you. Pretty smileLucifel: SO. FREAKING. CUUUUTE!!! Zabuza: -glares at ItachiOrochimaru: How come Haku gets a frappucino?! Itachi: -gives Orochimaru a look that says because hes prettyOrochimaru: -muttersSakura: oh yes! I would just love a white-chocolate mocha right now! I also like caramel things! Thanks! Youre the best! Ill be sure to tell Lee (if I ever see him again-_-)
Again I'm back~! -Hands out muffins and cookies.. and frappucinos.Yeah.. Orochimaru-sama~!!.. You can have my soul, and you don't even have to give me porn..! I just want to ask.. When you all get out of that room.. Can I get hugs? -Puppy eyes.- ... If you need any motivation.. My racks about as big as Tsu-.. Never mind -Rant-

Everybody: FOOD!!!!! -Stampede as everyone scrambles for the cookies and muffins, even Kabuto and Jiraiya stop fighting in light of pastries-

Shino: -takes a muffin over to Kiba and wakes him upKiba: -snaps awake- IVE GOTTA GET AKA Shino: -shoves muffin into Kibas mouthKiba: -sits down and munches happily next to Shino.Orochimaru: Hey! Awesome! Cookies and a soul! This is my day! See Kabuto? Theyre lining up Kabuto: yeah, yeah Jiraiya: I would like to volunteer as MANY hugs as this girl wants when I get out! Orochimaru: Hell yeah! Me too! Jiraiya: But I didnt think you were into boobs? Orochimaru: But Im into girls who bring me FOOD! Jiraiya: Ah, well that makes sense.
Urgh... too many yaoi pairings for me to take...(I must be like, the ONLY reviewer for the story who doesn't like them. Oh well. The humor is keeping me reading. XD) Anyway, I'm quite sure you can beat me with your tongue, Orochimaru. But that's because your tongue is freaking weird. What could you possibly eat to get it like that!? (Yeah, that IS a question to be answered.) SAKURA, DON'T GIVE UP!! (And I can't BELIEVE you liked the tickle fest! NO!) There's still hope for you and Sasuke... and where is he? Everyone's been talking about him forever... -danielie

Lucifel: YeeeahI guess I should have made a warning earlier about my yaoi fan-girlness. Good thing Im funny XD Sakura: Youre not the only one getting weirded out by it. side-glance at Shino, Kiba and Itachi.Orochimaru: -narrows eyes- oh. Its YOU. I dont eat anything, girly, Im just naturally awesome. Kind of like how youre naturally a loser. Sakura: Youre one to talkoh and the tickle-festthatuhIlets never talk about it again ok? Orochimaru: Of course not. Its not about talking. Its about doing. Sakura: Yeah, and lets never do it again. Itachi: Where is Otouto?

Sakura: captured!! By the most devilish of fiends!! Itachi: Riiight.

okay, I think I read something about you all not having food so, since Angel can't take care of her captives, here's some rice and eggs and miso and coffee. Also Itachi, You have got to try this MOCHA frappucino. it is the best! Hands to Itachi. Oh and I got a caramel one for Gaara. Hands to Gaara. Question. Where is Akamaru!?!?! I'm so worried about him. also to everybody... Truth or Dare? *evil grin*

Kabuto: Yes! Some substantial food! Kiba: The fuck? Kabuto: What? Kiba: youre weird-wary glanceKabuto: -chews riceOrochimaru: AAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Kabuto: What? What is it? Orochimaru: The album is finished!! Gaa/Ita/Shin: GASP Orochimaru: Pleeeease send more! I have more of Kabuto and I! I even have some stuff with Kimimaro thrown in! Kiba: like, with BOTH of you? Orochimaru: A couple, yeah, Kabuto was a little looser back then Kabuto: -blushItachi: Mocha huh Gaara: hmm Ita/Gaa: -sip- gasp -go wide eyed- -switch- gasp! -Happy smilesKiba: -sniff- Akamaru is also capturedpoor thingII feel so horrible. sniffleShino: -hugs Kiba-

Lucifel: SQUEEEEE!!! SO CUTE! Itachi: Hmm, dare. Orochimaru: Dare. Kiba: DARE!! Shino: -shrugsKiba: that means dare! Shino: -shrugs againKabuto: Truth. Oro/Jira: Pussy. Kabuto: Whatever Jiraiya: dare! Thinks- pleaseinvolveboobs, pleaseinvolveboobs. Sakura: Tru-Insert buzzer sound hereItachi: Sakura, every question asked to you is a truth, technically, I dont think you should be allowed to pick truth. Sakura: B-butwhat about the questions theyre asking you guys!? Itachi: Were all picking dare. Jiraiya: Except Kabuto. Because hes a pussy. Kabuto: -whines- I am noooot. Orochimaru: Yes you are. Kabuto: -whimperSakura: Ugh! Fine! Dare! Kurenai: Why are we doing this again? Itachi: Im doing it for Frappucinos, personally.

Orochimaru: Dont ask, just answer. Kurenai: -rolls eyes- dare. Jiraiya: -thinks- hell yeah, I like em dangerous. Itachi: Ne, Zabuza and Haku, you gonna answer? Zabuza: The fuck? We have to answer too? Haku: Truth. Zabuza: And youre just going along with it? Haku: It could be fun. Zabuza: -rolls eyes- Yeah, whatever. Darewhat the hell does that even mean? Kabuto: Now you have to do whatever youre dared to do. Zabuza: Aww, fuck that shit. Kabuto: Ok, you go ahead and try to resist it then. Better men than you have tried and failed before. Orochimaru: Actually, just a pink-haired shapeless runt. Sakura: HEY! Orochimaru: At least being shapeless makes you more like a boy. Sakura: Why should that be any better? Orochimaru: Cuz it makes you cuter. Sakura: -horrorItachi: Well, Gaara? Gaara: -still drinking frappucinosKiba: I think we can safely guess dare.

Gaara: :3 Kiba: hes almost freakier when hes happy Shino: -nodsOrochimaru: PLEASE SEND MORE PICTURES OF SASUKE-KUN!!! Lucifel: And oh yeah! MERRY CHRISTMAS to you wonderful readers and reviewers!! And Happy Holidays to anyone who is not celebrating Christmas. ^_^ Itachi: This has been the best Christmas EVER. XD skitters off to make more frappucinos-

Ask Sakura Christmas Special!! Lucifel: hey! Welcome to the Ask Sakura Christmas Bash!!! (Sure, its like, one am on Christmas but who cares?!) -Twas the early morning after Christmas And with a poof all were dressed in Christmas-y clothing. Including Kurenai in a minidress decorated like a Santa-coat, and reindeer antlers on Kiba. Basically just think of everyones outfits turned red with white fur, and Kabutos glasses are now tinted red and greenKabuto: WTF?! Takes off glasses and tries and rub them cleanKurenai: -stands super straight to get as much length out of the coat as possibleJiraiya: Ive got my Christmas gift!! Kurenai: -mumbles- pervert. Itachi: -looking at his new red coat- hmmm. Shrugs and cuddles with his frappucino machine, sipping on the one he just madeGaara: Im going to kill who ever put these on us. Kiba: -tugging at antlers- they wont come off. Sakura: Hey! This is our very special Christmas edition! A couple people sent Christmas well-wishes and Kryah sent a VERY special pm to us, which well open at the end here, so I decided that it would be nice to go ahead a skip the two pages were behind on and reply to those holiday greetings!! Mumbles- of course I didnt know it would mean getting into these get-ups Lucifel: Shut up! You all look cute! Sakura: So, heres our first Christmas well-wisher!
OMG, Orochimaru did NOT just call me a loser. That is a diss I cannot take from someone so lame. But my response would probably be something so bad I'd be blocked off the site. And since Orochimaru is so obviously not worth it, I'll ignore. And MERRY CHRISTMAS SAKURA! -Hands Sakura a Sasuke plushYou're my fave, so I have to give you something. And hide it well. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES must Orochimaru get his slimy hands on it. Ja ne! -danielie

Orochimaru: What the hell? Why do I have to deal with THIS chick on Christmas?! Go ahead, girly, TRY it. I dare you to try and offend me. Gaara put her name on the list! Gaara: the fuck? This is my list. Make your own.

Orochimaru: now Gaara, thats not very in the Christmas spirit. Gaara: Were ninjas! We dont even celebrate Christmas!! Orochimaru: Whateverfine. Ill make a list better than yours. sticks out tonguea full two feetSakura: Squeee!!! Its so cute! shes not talking about Oros tongue, btwOrochimaru: -suddenly holding plushie- What? This? Sakura: -shock and horror- howwhat Orochimaru: Im a freaking Sannin you dont mess with thisand huh, he is kind of cute-starts acting like hes gonna lick itSakura: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! begin chase scene around and around the room. Orochimaru holding the plushie in front of Sakura tauntinglyOrochimaru: -in a singsong- You cant get it. Im gonna lick it. Sakura: -tearing up- noooo!! Kurenai: Oh yes, the great and powerful Sannin, mocking a little girl by stealing her toy. Orochimaru: -flips Kurenai the finger as he runs pastMerry Christmas 2 u too. I love ur story! ...=)...=)... =)...=)...=)...=)...=)...=)... *in little girls voice* *puts on puppy face* Can i send a letter? -Sarafina the Ninja Goddess-

Kabuto: In Sakuras place Sakura: -as she and Oro run by behind Kabuto- Give it baaaack!!! Kabuto: -ahem- Id like to thank you for your complementssince it seems suffering for the joy of others is what were here to do; I guess its great were doing our job. Itachi: Wow, the passion behind that was stifling. Kabuto: Shuddup. Lucifel: and thanks from me of course!! Anyone is free to send letter but Ill only reply to questions given by review. Kryahs only getting away with it because its not technically

a question, and cuz she did because I asked people to wait until chapter 11 (What? Im not frazzled. Me? Never) Also! Sarafina claimed me as new best friend! Yay! Im getting so many wonderful friends!! Merry Christmas to everybody! I give Orochimaru-sama my eternal loyalty! (with a big red ribbon and everything!) -Kohaku-kawa Itachi: and WHY does Orochimaru get a present and the rest of us dont? Kabuto: Quit youre whining, you already got a freaking Frappucino machine! Itachi: Oh yeah. : 3 Orochimaru: Cool! A ribbon! plays with ribbonMerry Christmas and my review wasn't put up again... boohoo oh well! -I Have an Alter Ego

Lucifel: Getting to ya soon, I promise. ^_^ Sakura: Merry Christmas! Kiba: When are we gonna get to Kryahs thing? Kabuto: Why so impatient? Kiba: So I can take these bloody things off. Tugs on antlersKabuto: At least you can still see clearly. Rubs glasses again and poutsSakura: Well, were doing that right now! So youre all in luck! And the big surprise is Kryah got us all presents!!! Lucifel: Im posting them one at a timehere goes. To cast: Three self-refilling buffets, that vary the meal theyre on. -Collective Gasp and the buffets appear on the back wallKiba: Its sobeautiful Sakura: II think Im gonna cry. Jiraiya: Forget crying! Lets eat!!

-and then the shinobi ran with eyes glistening and mouths dripping drool to the buffets and stuffed themselves until they were near to bursting. After this was done they were all so full of good food any ill-will towards each other was put aside and they all sat in a large group on the floor contentedlyKabuto: So, do we all get our own presents too? Sakura: -checks letter- oooh, yeah To Itachi-sama: Many, many crates of Frappucino mix and thanks for warm reception of my previous gift. -Crates appear in a large pile in another cornerItachi: -twitch- Wheeeee!!! goes and climbs to the top with his Frapuccino machine, where he gets comfortable, making his own little frappucino-crate fortressTo Haku-san: *blushes* I give you Bunna-chan, Shes a stuffed bunny Ive had since I was six, I know youll take good care of her. *blushes again* Haku: Kya! So adorable! Zabuza: She gives you some old toy she probably used to chew on and acts like shes being all generous? Haku: Oh stop. Its so cute! Zabuza: -small smile that cant be helped- you too -kisses Hakus foreheadSakura: -thinks- Oh, why oh why cant I have something like that?! Lucifel: Because youre not ridiculously cute!! To Gaara-san: His own Frappucino Machine and crates of frap mix. And my apologies for silly inquiries against his expressed wishes. Gaara: -wide eyes- -runs over to machine and arranges the crates in a wall around him- Im not coming out until these crates are empty! Kabuto: Youre gonna get sick of em eventually kidor want more food Gaara: NEVER! Kabuto: -rolls eyes-

To Orochimaru-sama: Frankly, I have no idea what to get a SANNIN who rules theyre own VILLAGE so this is a blind guess in the dark butI give you a complete set of yaoiversion Icha-Icha Paradise (they werent made by Jiraiya-sama). I had to pull a few strings to get them so I hope you like these. Orochimaru: Sweet! See, this girl understands how great I am. Ooh, yay, these should hold me off until the next album! Jiraiya: Whos been defiling my wonderful stories?! Let me see those! lungesOrochimaru: No! hold them far away while holding Jiraiya back with the other handYou just want to read the sexy yaoi scenes by yourself! Jiraiya: I do not! Orochimaru: Then why do you want them? Jiraiya: I dont! Orochimaru: Ok great! goes and readsJiraiya: ..huh? To Jiraiya-sama: A life-time subscription to play-boy. DO NOT ASK HOW I CAME BY THIS. It is a horrifyingly embarrassing story involving my desperate escape from two drunk bunny girls, a threatened lawsuit for attempted rape, and lots of Therapy. And a duck. Kabuto: I really dont care about the rest of the storybut I sure as fuck would like to know how that duck fits in. Jiraiya: this is the best Christmas ever. Now I shall never have to look far for inspiration for my novel!! Sakura/Kurenai: eww. Jiraiya: -sits next to Orochimaru and starts leafing through the magazines, giggling (yes, giggling)To Zabuza-san? A sword cleaning kit for those hard to remove blood stains. Zabuza: Sweet ass. And here I thought I wouldnt get a good present. You never know when some random person will get you better than you think. Haku: Bunna-chan is a better present.

Zabuza: -raises eyebrows- yeah, whatever To Kiba-san: Five, up-to-date albums of Akamaru in good health which automatically update themselves. Kiba: I was hoping for antler-remover, but this is great. opens album--horrorShino: What? What is it? Kiba: Theyretying bows on him Shino: -gaspKiba: And the worst part is heshes Shino: what? Is he hurt? Kiba: Nohesenjoying it. Kabuto: Ouch. Shino: Sorry Kiba Kiba: Its okIm gonna gomope-goes to cornerTo Shino-san: the extended set of The history of Kikai and other ninja-related insects of the (fire, tea, wave, lightning etcit varies with the volume) Country so you dont get bored when Kibas checking up on Akamaru. Shino: -glances at where Kiba is watching as the albums update with more and more pictures of Akamaru prancing around with ribbons- yeah, Ill be using these now To Sakura-san: Im sorry you cant spend the holidays with your teammates or family but whenever Im lonely I just bury myself in anime. So Im giving you a plasma TV (you better share this or Im taking it away and giving it to Itachi) and a box set of all 4 Inuyasha movies. Sakura: Wow, thank you! Inner Sakura: HELL YEAH!! THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME!! Kabuto: I like that you have to share and Itachi and Gaara get to be all selfish with their frappucino machines Sakura: heyyeahthats not fair!

Inner Sakura: YOU BASTARDS!!! Sakura: Well, then Gaara and Itachi arent allowed to watch it, is all. Ita/Gaa: -immediately run out with Frappucinos for SakuraSakura: Ok, you can watch. starts setting it upInner Sakura: Thats right!! Whos in charge now bitches!! To Kurenai-san: Im sorry I havent really acknowledged you up until now, but to make up for it I give you Ouran host Club Anime (found on youtube) and manga, and 20 crates of milk and Belgium chocolate-Im protective of sugar and chocolate in general so this is a big thing for me. Kurenai: gasp! runs to cratesKabuto: Ne, Kurenai, youre gonna share ri Kurenai: -turns around with flaming glaring eyes- IT IS MY CHOCOLATE!!!! hisssEveryone: O.o Kurenai: -blush- erm, uh, I mean.maybe? Jiraiya: I dont know about you all, but I personally no longer need any chocolate. Everyone: -nod, nodTo Kabuto-san: A glasses cleaning kit (Im near-sighted so I know how annoying smudgy glasses can be) and a hug. I know youre probably feeling a little neglected, but Im not trying to catch you on the rebound. Just trying to make you feel a little bit better. Kabuto: Ohoh wowI Kurenai: Are youcrying? Kabuto: -turning away quickly- No! mutters- its justthe first present I ever got is all Orochimaru: Aww, Kabuto. hugsKabuto: -sniff- Orochimaru-sama! hugsJiraiya: Aww, hell-hugs too-

Haku: yay! hugs-and soon all of them were hugging in warm, fuzzinessexcept Gaara. But Itachi went over and dragged him into it after a minute and he was thrown right into the middle of it, then they all sat down (still hugging somehow) to watch lots of anime on the plasma screen TV. So I leave you all with this scene of fluffy delight Merry Christmas to all! And to all, a Good night. - (or morningwhatEVER)

Ask Sakura 10 Lucifel: Hello one and all. I have an IMPORTANT note: This was supposed to be my second-to last entry before caught up. Its not. But thats cool. I only ask that if youre gonna go ahead and keep flooding in the questions (Im not complaining, although it sounds like it. I LOVE that youre all so nice and wonderful and so interested in my story you wanna review!!) Just remember to be patient and realize I am now consistently two pages behind. Any reviews that are not questions are more than welcome, and Ill reply to those personally. Reviews with questions will go into the story whenever I get to them. Also, please try to heed my three questions per review limit, and try to not give me another review and set of questions until Ive done your first, (unless you really need to comment on something that just happened) that will also help traffic flow. If theres more than three Ill randomly pick the ones I like best, thereby deleting ones I cant make anything funny out of. Im also gonna be ignoring questions (regardless of how many were asked) the get asked too much. (Like why do like sasuke? srsly, Its been asked like a dozen times now) And I reserve the right to break my own rules whenever I damn well feel like it. Ok, yuck, I was rambling. You dont wanna hear me whine about the best thing ever (and you wonderful fans are the best thing thats happened to me fanfiction wise) you wanna read more of my lovely, pervy story, ne?! On with the show!! -after many hours of TV our cast began dozing off. Now we open this edition on the serene scene of---Kiba: AAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! -Much angry grumbling as the rest wake up.Orochimaru: -rubbing his eyes- Kiba what th---NOOOOOOOO!!!! Jiraiya: -sitting up suddenly from where he had fallen asleep in Orochimarus lap- WHY IS THE FOOD GONE?! Sakura: -speaking in a sorrowful monotone as Lucifel dictates- Because, even though personal presents are allowed to be keptthe allowance of such a generous gift was for Christmas only. Jiraiya: -with a groggy sway- but whys the food gone? Lucifel: Shameless pop culture reference! Hell yeah! Sakura: -sighKiba: butbutwhyyyy?! Shino: -pats Kibas shoulder-

Zabuza: Stop whining you bunch of pussies Haku: -quietly- oh, I feel kind of hungry Zabuza: -twitch- We better get that food back in TEN SECONDS or I start fucking KILLING shit!! Everyone: -shockKabuto: What I wouldnt give to be able to control a man with a passing reference like that Ita/Gaa/Kiba/Shin: -nod, nodZabuza: 10
CHaosBLossOM why do you like Sasuke anyway, he hates you? heh well also you should try to run away these people scare me(except Itachi, Kiba ,Kabuto, Orochimaru, and Haku oh yeah well Gaara too! Love ya all!

Sakura: Ive answered this many times. I cant help but love him. Its justa part of me. Zabuza: 9. Sakura: Dont think I wouldnt love to escapeif this room had a door or something Id try, for sure. But jutsu obviously arent even working Zabuza: 8. Kurenai: waitthose guys dont scare you? Zabuza: 7 Jiraiya: Im thoroughly offended. The bug-kid I can understand but me? ME? Zabuza: 6 Kurenai: Speaking as a woman I actually understand where theyre coming from Zabuza: 5 Jiraiya: Hey! What are you implying? Zabuza: 4

Kurenai: Not so much implying as remembering many lewd comments, obscene reference and attempts at groping from last night. Zabuza: 3 Itachi: As much as I hate to interrupt, is anyone else worried about the fact that Zabuza is counting down? Zabuza: -draws sword- 2 Kabuto: The thought did cross my mind Zabuza: 1. Itachi: Too late. Zabuza: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! -Bzzt. Were sorry, but there is a parental block on all material rated super super super super violent and up. You need to enter the four-digit number to access this sceneRandom kid sitting in his living room two inches from a TV screen: Aww, dammit. -This program has returned to a suitable rating.-The room is splattered thoroughly with red, and Zabuza now sits in a corner pantingItachi: wellthat wasneedlessly violent Kabuto: And here the red lens had just been removed from my glasses. Removes glasses and wipes them cleanOrochimaru: Good thing those ketchup-filled manikins kept popping up for him to slice. Jiraiya: ayup. Kiba: -licks ketchup off Shinos cheek. - Yum. Itachi: Sohow come Haku managed to stay perfectly clean? Sakura: because hes Haku. Itachi: Weird how that actually explains a lot Jiraiya: Hey, at least we have a food supply now. Licks fingers-

Kurenai: gross. Jiraiya: Well see what your tune is when you get starving and Ive already licked the ketchup off all the walls. Gaara: -running to frappucino-crate fort- All the ketchup on the crates is mine! Jiraiya: Yeah, yeah, Ive got enough on my hands to last me a good hour Kurenai: -wrinkles nose in disgustmy question is Sakura how does it fell to be stuck in an enclosed room with that pedophile Orochimaru. -Saskuretsu

Sakura: -looks over her shoulder at OrochimaruOrochimaru: -flicks tongue at herSakura: -shivers- it feels like sitting in a tub of ice cubes so long Ill never get hot for anyone again. Jiraiya: -claps hands- OH DAMN! Orochimaru, need come ice for that burn?! Orochimaru: ouch. Didnt know she had it in her.
Hey Sakura! I feel so sorry for you, stuck in there with Oro-teme. Honestly, did you not know Sasuke's gay? GOD, He's fucked Oro-teme, he's fucked Itachi, hell, you gotta be BLIND to not see he's gay! (No offense to you, of course.) Anyway, Question time! 1: If you HAD to marry someone, NOT Sasuke, Lee or Kabuto, who would you marry? 2: Would you please kill Oro-teme for me? Thankz. 3: LET INNER SAKURA OUT!! SHE TOTALLY KICKS ASS!! 4: What elemnt is your chakra? Naruto's is wind, Sasuke's is fire, Kakashi's is lightning, what's yours?? Oh, do you know there are a lot of fics out there that pair you with Kakashi? Just to let you know. Don't worry, I'm SO against that pairing. (KAKASHI IS MINE! -Kakashi: ...Help me...-) Gaara: There is someone out there who loves you. My best friend is OBSSESSED with you. She hates Yashamaru for telling you that no-one loves you. She also wanted me to give you this extra-large Frappucino. -givesOro-teme: I really hate you for being a paedophile. Really, Really, REALLY hate you for it. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, but you just take the cake! And stop being so suggestive. Itachi: Hey, you know how you killed all your clan and stuff? Do you know someone called Obito? He was before your time, but he's an Uchiha and I'm just wondering what relation to you he is. Thank you. BTW, you're WAY cooler than Sasuke. Raikiri-no-Jutsu P.S: Sakura, Naruto likes you. Really likes you. Pay a bit more attention to him

Sakura: -sigh- yeahIm starting to get freezer burn.

Jiraiya: -laughing- Zing! And another!! Orochimaru: -shock- you little bitch Sakura: -reads the rest of the letter- ugh! No! I can admit maybe Orochimaru forced him or something, but Sasuke has nothing to do with something that perverted!! Inner Sakura: so back off with your little incest fetish you creep!! Itachi: -chucklesKabuto: Somehow youre not as offended by this as I would imagine. Itachi: Oh? Huhstrange Kabuto: -goes pale- because I meanthat neveryou two never Itachi: huh what? Oh, oh yeah. Never. Gross. Suppresses laughterKabuto: -backs away slowlyOrochimaru: and whats this Oro-teme crap? You should be on your knees calling me sama through your mouth full of my--Kurenai: -slaps duct tape over Orochimarus mouth- thats quite enough out of you. Sakura: Oh eww! I would never marry Kabuto! Andhonestly I cant think of anyone else I could possibly marry. If I HAD toum, I guess Naruto. Since I know him best and he does care about me Kabuto: Yeah, thats right. Go ahead and add the kyuubi-kid to your little harem of men whose hearts youre just gonna fuck with. I bet Lee would like the company. Sakura: my GOD what is your problem?! These are if I HAD to questions! Kabuto: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Sakura: ugh, you drive me freaking crazy! Kabuto: -smirk- yeah, I know I do. Sakura: -blush- you know thats not what I meant!! Kabuto: Sure, sure. Whatever

Sakura: -seething- and yes, I wish I could kill Orochimaru too. Believe me if I get the chance Ill Kabuto: Lets not mope over the impossible dear. Sakura: Dont you fucking call me dear Kabuto: Yes, princess. Sakura: -glaresand as she does so a fire builds up in here eyes, and its as if, for a moment, within her Kabuto can see a horrible, angry, raging force which, if he were to prod its release would destroy him and most of the room the were currently standing inLucifel: That suffice the let inner sakura out thing? Kabuto: -shudders and sits politely beside Orochimaru, who is trying to remove the wellattached duct tape without ripping his mouth offSakura: My elementhmm. Im not sure exactly how it works, but whichever element is connected to healing would probably be it. Earth maybe Jiraiya: flower power, eh? Sakura: -turns evil eye on himJiraiya: Ehehe. Never mind Sakura: ugh! Whats this about me and Kakashi? I mean, hes kind of like a father-figure I guessmaybe an older brother seeing as hes so pervertedanyway the point is Id never, EVER get together with him! Itachi: So you dont think hes sexy? Sakura: I never said that. Itachi: Ohhohoho. I see. Sakura: I meanIIjust stop it!! Itachi: Yes, yes of course snickerGaara: That Frappucino just saved your friend from the list. I dont do stalkers. Kiba: But you have a frappucino MACHINE. Gaara:-blinks-what did you say your friends name was again?

Orochimaru: -says something through the duct tapeItachi: You know we totally cant make out a damn thing youre saying right. Orochimaru: -tries againItachi: Ah nope. Try simplifying it maybe? Orochimaru: -rolls eyes and gives the fingerJiraiya: Now why didnt you just say that to begin with? Orochimaru: -rolls eyes againItachi: I think I know the name of Obito. My connection to him? I probably killed him. Orochimaru: -snickerSakura: YeahI know about Naruto Kabuto: And abuses it to her advantage! Trust me, she knows how to handle the kid. Sakura: Oh my fucking GOD!! Would you shut up?! Kabuto: would you stop being such a bitch? Sakura: Do you wanna get your glasses smashed into your FACE?! Kurenai: -stepping between them- knock it off you two. Kabuto, you should be more mature than that. SakuraI know being stuck in here is getting to you but just take it easy. Sakura: Yes sensei. Kabuto: -mumbles unhappily but leans backLucifel: YAY! Yorick!
Hi again, Lucifel! OMG, Zabuza and Haku! -glomps- Just to let you know The white past, The secret feelings was my second favorite Naruto episode next to Valley of the End. You're so cute together! Okay, enough of that! here's my questions: Sakura: Did you know Chouji's got the hots for you?uh-huh, he told me!(Chouji: I did n- Yorick:-mufflesDID!) Orochimaru: Are you a transvestite? because when you tore your face off you became a woman. o.O And you were training Anko to take her body before...so you were going to become a woman?

Itachi: Could we at least be friends? please? I'm strong...enough! -Yorick!

Zabu/Haku: -suddenly get thrown down by glomping force- gack! Zabuza: -sitting up and shaking his head- what the fuck was that? Haku: As much pain as my neck is in I feel vaguelyhugged? Zabuza: -shudders- ugh, hugs. Haku: I like hugs. puppy eyes at ZabuzaZabuza: -sigh and smile--pulls Haku into his lap so they can cuddleLucifel: Yes, Yorick, yes they areKYAA! Sakura: Ch-chouji? Kabuto: What? No fat kids allowed in the harem of Sakura heart breaks? Sakura: -glares- Um, well Imflattered? But Choujis not really my type Orochimaru: -starts trying to talk through tape againItachi: -sigh- -rips off tapeOrochimaru: WAAAAAUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!!?! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH THAT HURT?!!!?!?!?! Itachi: Whats the big deal? You dont even have facial hair. Orochimaru: -moping- it still hurt. And, at any rate, I just go for the strongest bodies, I dont care what gender they are. smileJiraiya: -imagines Orochimaru with boobs- OH MY GOD!!! Orochimaru: what? Jiraiya: -holding his bleeding nose shut- N-nothingnothing Itachi: What is wrong with you people?! I killed my entire clan and you keep asking to be my freaking FRIEND. You all must be more screwed up than I am!
Hello Sakura-san, Gaa-kun! Have this frappicino as a token of my legency my dear Kazekage!! Ask me to do anything and I will!! I am your humble servant! Did you know that Gaara-san was voted the hottest guy in Naruto at the age of 14 after the time skip!! Isn't that just freaking awesome!

Sakura: How come you like Kabuto? Itachi-kun is so much hotter!! Another thing Why would you still love someone who basically mentally destroyed your world? Why? Does not the pain surge to an inexplicable point?! Orochimaru: Baka!! Baka!! Baka!! Anata!! GAH! Why won't you just die.. and by the way how do you change the appearance of the body you put yourself into? I mean the last guy was blonde and had these really awesome eyes. and now he has your ugly appearance. It isn't genjutsu is it? Itachi: Could you possibly tell Sasori-sama I am stalking him? P.S. Gaara I have been forming a huge army of fangirls who intend to break you out as soon as I can find the keys to my car!! The rest of you... I don't care so much about...

Gaara: -holds up frapucino- this goes to the first guy who will give me a blow job. Everyone: -shockGaara:-rolls eyes and hands the frap to Kabuto- It was a joke. Everyone: -more shockJiraiya: Gaara made a joke? Orochimaru: -gasp- I better call home and make sure the temperature hasnt suddenly dropped. Kurenai: I better make sure to drop by Shizunes place after this and make sure Tonton hasnt sprouted wings. Gaara: Yeah, whatever-sulks in his fortressItachi: Aww, Gaara, if it makes you feel better Ill give you a blow job. Gaara: -blush- W-what? Itachi: -snickers and walks offOrochimaru: Hey! How come Gaara was the sexiest man? Shino: -thinks- because he is. Kabuto: Well, you do have more enemies than Gaara so Orochimaru: -gasp- Youre right! They rigged the poll!!! Kabuto: Thats not what I Orochimaru: Fraud!! FRAUD!! I demand a recount! An impeachment! I demand to have the crown back on the proper head!! Jiraiya: There is no crown.

Orochimaru: Its a figure of speecha figure of speech that is rightfully mine!!! Jiraiya: -sighOrochimaru: -rantsSakura: hey! I dont like Kabuto! Hes a pain in the ass! I keep telling you people Sasuke is the only one for me. I cant explain why, even I sometimes think I really would be better without him, I doubt the realistic points of it, but Kabuto: Damn! You heard it here! Sakura shows doubt over her one true love! She even screws with the kid who doesnt like her! Sakura: What is your problem?! Kabuto: My problem?! Do you know how many guys heads you must be fucking with? Yeah, sure Lee, Ill marry youonly NOT, I mean, wtf? Sakura: I never say things like that! I can worry and still love a guy! Kabuto: But you said you doubted. Sakura: Whats the difference? Kabuto: tsk, tsk, I suppose your immature mind just could never comprehend. Sakura: -kicks his head!!- -and Im NOT talking about the one on his neckKabuto: -screams in pain, falls to the floor- AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!! Sakura: -claps hands clean nonchalantlyItachi: Wow, thats really good aim. Hitting such a small target like that. Kabuto: -weakly give Itachi the finger while he writhes on the groundItachi: I dont think you want to do that right now. Itd hurt a lot Kabuto: -glaresOrochimaru: maybe I dont want to answer you. Maybe Im too much of a baka to answer. PoutsJiraiya: Come on, Oro, be a good sport.

Orochimaru: Whatever. I know, like, a billion different jutsu, no duh I know one to change my appearance. I like this face. Itachi: UmmI could buthe might kill you. Still want me to? Orochimaru: Do it. Id love to kill her myself butyou know. The sooner the better. Itachi: I cant tell him until were out anyway. Orochimaru: Oh. Leave it to me then. Itachi: -rolls eyesGaara: -imagines riding in car full of fangirls- urkumno thanks. Sweat dropJiraiya: -imagines riding in car full of fangirls- gah! NOSEBLEEDKurenai: -muttering- ugh, I am getting hungry again. Jiraiya: Too bad! The ketchup is mine! Kurenai: -rolls eyesJiraiya: And fangirls! Im here for the saving!! Come take me now!! Kure/Oro/Saku: -face-palm-

Ask Sakura 11 Itachi: -waking up slowly- oh damn, whatta night. Kiba: -muttering and still half-asleep- best New Years Eve party ever. Shino: -snuggles closer to Kiba under a blanket.Lucifel: Yeah, sorry, you guys missed it. Muwahahahah. Basically, everyone got trashed. Shino and Kiba slept together cough- and Gaara and Itachi drank so many frappucinos they reached the brink of explosion and passed out. Kurenai tried to keep everyone under control but ended up getting drunk too and beating up Jiraiya when he accidentally splashed a martini all over her. Those are the big highlights. Kabuto and Jiraiya woke up and couldnt remember anything, but Sakura wont talk to Kabuto but keeps glaring at him, and Orochimaru keeps smiling wryly at Jiraiya. So, we now continue the story:
NO I WILL NOT GIVE BACK SASUKE. i asked GAARA if he would kill kankuro, not you. but now kankuro is here with me, drinking tea, and he took a nap earlier with a barbie doll. dont ask me why! gaara, your brother is, um, wierd. he scares me...(sasuke: holy! he's making out with ken!! HELP ME!ITACHI, OROCHIMARU, SAKURA, ANYBODY!-whimpers-!they're both scary!!)SHUT UP SASUKE!-slaps him- damn he's hot when he's freaked. umm...anyway uh, itachi, i have some lemonade for you if you want some. its cold :). than, can you die so sasuke will shut up about avenging his clan so i CAN GET SOME SLEEP! I get REALY crazy when i'm tired! oh, and sakura, can we PLEASE be friends? -Hilarious Tragedy-

Gaara: Oh god, Kankuro-covers faceSakura: oh my godSasuke! Orochimaru: calm down. Hell be okhe wouldnt be my favorite little boy otherwise. smirkItachi: He damn well better be able to get himself out of there. Orochimaru: And I totally agree with the hot when freaked out thing mrow. Itachi: Heh, yeah Orochimaru: Umm, you agree? Itachi: Of course! Why do you think I didnt kill him that night? Orochimaru: -jaw drops- I thought it was something about having him come back to kill you? Itachi: Where would you get an idea like that?!

Orochimaru: I have no idea Sakura: -covers ears and shakes head- I dont wanna hear it! I dont wanna hear it!! Itachi: Oooh, lemonade. I could use a break from the frappucinosspeaking of which, how did we manage to drink half of our total supply of frappucino mix? Gaara: I dont know but I seem to recall being really hyper last night Sakura: -moaning- ohhhh, Sasuke-kun!! Kabuto: I think its safe to say you two wont be friends anytime soon. Sakura: Shut up you! Kabuto: What did I do? Sakura: -glaresKabuto: whatevergirls, geez...
Dear Sakura (and Co.), Orochimaru, why are you so obsessed with learning a bunch of jutsu and being immortal? Haven't you ever seen Highlander? They're all immortal and strong, and miserable! Here's a copy (hands over Highlander). Gaara, Itachi, and Shino, why do you all try to act so cool? Everyone knows you're trying to cover up your own insecurities with a facade of badassness. What do you guys want to eat? I'll drop it off next chapter. WHY IS EVERYONE SO FSUCKING GAY?!!? My Best, Khellan Rafe

Orochimaru: Yeah, but he used being immortal for being good and crap right? Its a lot more fun if youre selfish about it. Lucifel: -disclaimer- never seen the movie, me and Oro are both making assumptions. Orochimaru: But hey! Thanks for the movie! Who wants another movie night? Everyone: YAY!! -A couple hours laterOrochimaru: Well that wasnt half bad.

Jiraiya: So did you learn anything? Orochimaru: Was I supposed to? Jiraiya: -sigh- never mind. Sakura: Oh crap, we just watched a whole movie without answering the rest of her questions! Shino: Thats ok; we had a time-skip. Sakura: Hwa? Shino: -silenceSakura: Ooook, then. Well, guys, whatre your excuses? Ita/Gaa: But I am cool and badass. Shino: I dont try to be anything. I just have bugs living in me. Kiba: Its sexy. Orochimaru: -gagKurenai: I want more chocolate. Jiraiya: Did you already eat all your other stuff? Kurenai: yep. Jiraiya: Jesus Christ woman Kiba: He was? Jiraiya: was what? Kiba: A woman. Jiraiya: -unbelieving stare- Im not even going to say anything Kiba: -confused head-tiltShino: -pats Kibas head-

Kabuto: At any rate, just bring some more good food. If we keep eating this junk food well all get fatter than Choji Orochimaru: If that happens Ill just go into a skinny body. Itachi: But then all the people you think are hot will be fat. Orochimaru: -gasp- NOOOOO!!!! Kabuto: -rolling eyes- Just bring healthy food. Itachi: Whats this kids problem? Is he a homophobe or something? Jiraiya: Well, it is kind of creepy having you all soyou Itachi: Are you a homophobe, Jiraiya? Jiraiya: No, but I am an incest-phobe. Itachi: -smirks and goes to drink his lemonadeJira/Saku/Kurenai: -shudderKabuto -- accept the fact that many men and women would love to see you naked. get over it. not only do you kick ass but you can heal people which is much harder. Sakura -- what types of training do you do with Tsunade? So, you would rather be paired with Ino then Oro? I am handing you a twelve pack of tacos 'cause I want to see more questions befor you go all ca-- er anyway. Don't kill each other yet! Kazster

Kabuto: Oh, I know people want to see me naked. Sakura: -scoffKabuto: It was knowing that a little annoying pink-haired kid thought about thatshudders- its almost violating. Sakura: -rolls eyes- Whatever. PoutsKurenai: Sakura-chan.are you all right? Gaara: Shes just pissed off cause Kabuto kissed her last night. Kabuto: -horror-

Orochimaru: -uncontrollable laughterSakura: -bluuushKabuto: W-what? Gaara: Yeah, at midnight last night. You pulled her into your lap and kissed her. You didnt drink that much and you dont remember? Kabuto: N-no Gaara: pssh, lightweight. Kabuto: -tentatively looks at SakuraSakura: -is sitting in a corner, sulkingKabuto: -goes and sits in a different corner rubbing his forehead and moaningSakura: -is too busy moping to answer questionsItachi: -rolls eyes- to answer for the moping princess and her usual substitute, her training is probably something along the lines of how to enhance breast growth snicker- and I bet she would rather go with Ino. Shes a dyke. Sakura: IT IS NOT AND I AM NOT!!! Goes back to sulkingJiraiya: -snicker- training for breast enhancement-snickerKiba: TACOS!!!!!! Tackles taco box and starts devouring itbox and allSakura who would you go on a date with; Orochimaru or itachi? From, gaara and itachi's dark angel

Kurenai: Sakura, you might want to answer your own questions before Itachi mangles your reputation anymore than he already has. Sakura: Fine. Neither. Ever. Jiraiya: But if you had to. Kurenai: Why are you pestering her now? Jiraiya: Because its funny! Kurenai: Youre horrible.

Sakura: God, if I had to I would go with Itachi because hes slightly more gentlemanly. Now leave me alone! Itachi: Ah, channeling her loved ones emo-nessvery nice. Sakura: I hate you. Itachi: But youd date me? Sakura: -poisonous glareItachi: -thinks- I hate mad women Gaara: My darkangel? The fuck? Itachi: I think its kind of cute. Gaara: -makes another frappucino- This place is getting to your head. Itachi: -sigh- yeah
More questions 1. Gaara what are you gonna do chase me across the continent and then attack with sand I'd simply use water to wet it down then what are you gonna put me in a sand castle real effective there pal. 2. Itachi in most why would you be the one to go after Naruto hmm... I'm gonna dignify you like him and would like to fuck his ass. P.S.: Jiraiya I hate you with passion as well but don't admire you're work fucker. HAHAHAHAHAHA

-direct quote from Kohaku Kawa: What? This question (question 2)..does he speak English?Gaara: one; I said I will kill you and you will die. By sand, or Kunai, or fistbut you will die. Second; I can control wet sand just as well as dry sand and itd just be heavier so it would crush you worse. Third; only a water jutsu could summon enough water to wet down all my sand and I severely doubt you can use jutsu. Itachi: And fourth, hes not answering stupid questions. Gaara: Exactly. Itachi: But you just did. Gaara: -twitchItachi: Now whose head is this place getting to?

Gaara: Shove off. Itachi: You British now? Gaara: Answer your damn question. Itachi: -looks at question- no. Glares- Im starting my own list Jiraiya: me toono one appreciates how much work I put into those damn books.grumble, mumble, grrrrrdis is so funny o yea i gots a question for Sakura Why is every1 finking about u and lee? btu dya like him? -Dolly2000-

Jiraiya: Im just curiouscan anyone even READ that? Shino: Whats a fink? Orochimaru: Whats dya supposed to mean? Kiba: Ah, stop making fun of the l33t sp34k3r. Shino: If you ever say something like that again I dumping you. Kiba: sry. Shino: Kibaaaa. Kiba: Yes, boss. licks cheekSakura: No. I dont. And I am very clear about that to him. glares at KabutoKabuto: -slumps down into deeper shameHello, Sakura. Here are my questions: 1. When you first went into Orochimaru's temple with Naruto and Jiriaya, when Kabuto threw the kunai at you- Why the hell did you just stand there? I mean, I know that you were scared out of your mind, but you're SUPPOSED to be a kunoichi! Please kick butt next time instead of looking like you're about to puke over yourself. 2. This question is for Shizune- What do you do when you're not telling Tsunade-sama to do more paperwork? ps: Gaara, you are so goddamned sexy! But lose the sleeves, okay? -Unlucky Amulet-

Sakura: yeah, I was really terrified. But Ill do better next timeespecially against Kabuto. Now that I know that hes only a shallow, idiotic, sarcastic bastard.

Kabuto: Give me a break, little bitch Sakura: -sulkKabuto: -sulkEveryone else: -rolls eyes and shakes headKurenai: Shizunes not even here! Everyone: -anticipatesKurenai: What are you all doing? Kiba: Anticipating. Kurenai: Glad youve improved your vocabulary butanticipating what? Jiraiya: Thats weird. Shes not here. Kurenai: -rolls eyes- you expected her to be? Kiba: Wellyeahwhere is she? MEANWHILE!! Shizune: Tsunade sama!! You dont have time to plot revenge against Jiraiya! You have paperwork to do!! Gaaah!! Please take this job seriously! Tsunade: no, noI have to get this perfect Shizune: Tsunade-samaaaa Lucifel: So basicallynothing. We now return to the regularly schedule program: Kurenai: At any rate I almost wish Shizune was here so I could have some sane, female, not-a-brooding-teenager company. Kiba: KURENAI HAS THE HOTS FOR SHIZUNE!!! Kurenai: the hell? Kiba: -snickerJiraiya: -imagines Kurenai and Shizune making out- JESUS!!! nose-geyser-of-blood-

Kurenai: Ewwwand here the ketchup had just gone away. Zabuza: -smilesKiba: -to Haku- Why is he smiling? Haku: Because theres blood all over the place. Kiba: -scoots away slowlyGaara: hmmmmkay. rips off sleevesOro/Kiba/Shin/Ita/Saku: -DROOLOrochimaru: -ahem- Gaarayou are so goddamned sexy! But loose the pants ok? Gaara: -raises nonexistent eyebrow- nice try. No way in hell. Orochimaru: eh, it was worth a shot. Kiba: damn right it was. I dont suppose you take the suggestion from someone else? Gaara: No. Kiba: damn. Sakura: -sulksKabuto: Would you stop sulking already?! Sakura: What do you want me to do? Kabuto: Be annoying in the usual way maybe?! Sakura: no! Leave me alone! goes into closet and slams doorKiba: when did we get a closet? Shino: We didntthats a swimming pool. Everyone else: The fuck?! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Ask Sakura 12 Itachi: theres really a swimming pool back there? Sakura: -muffled behind a door- AIIIEEEEEE!!! Loud splashKiba: I guess there is. Shino: Whend that get there? Kiba: Youre the one who knew it was there!! Shino: -raises eyebrow- what are you talking about? Kiba: -rubs head in confusion and sits downOrochimaru: We should all go swimming laterOooh!! We could have a pool orgy just like Rocky Horror Picture Show!! Jiraiya: RockyHorrorhwa? Orochimaru: -too busy imagining swimming pool orgies to say anymoreomg sakura why dont u like Itachi he's just as hot as Sasuke ever hotter...Kabuto will u leave sound to come to me i love u! more than Orochimaru ever can*sticks tongue out*

Itachi: Ah yes, the profound question of why the fuck would anyone like my little brother over me and it still has yet to have a good answer. Orochimaru: Well, he does have the cute factor more than you. puts Sasuke into fantasy orgyItachi: Wellthats true. secret smileKure/Jira: -gagKabuto: What the hell? Id never leave Orochimaru-sama! Itachi:-muttering behind a fist- plot behind his back with a strawberry-blonde however Orochimaru: What? Whos Kabuto having sex with behind my back?

Itachi: Sakura. Kabuto: no! no! no!! I am not! Im totally loyal to Orochimaru-sama! Orochimaru: -walks over and snuggles Kabuto- I know. Kabuto: -blushOrochimaru: -sticks tongue out back. And touches the floor with itJiraiya: eww Orochimaru: Yeah, but imagine how I am atcertain specific skills. Kurenai: -presses legs together tightlyKurenai is your eyes naturally red or is it like a technique... Kabuto where did you get ur glasses from (looks like from harry potter) Sakura, if sasuke dumped u would u go lez... Jiraiya do u have the hots for tsunade !! well enough for me :D Vivian

Kurenai: Its natural. Jiraiya: What? No way! leans in to look at eyesKurenai: -leans away uncomfortablyJiraiya: weiiiiird. Kurenai: -kicks him awayOrochimaru: -snicker- your glasses look like Harry Potters Kabuto: Ugh, eww. I just got them from the one place in all of Konoha that makes glasses. Most ninja have good eyesight. Kiba: So you suck as a ninja? Kabuto: No. I could kick your ass in a second. Zabuza: Soyou suck as a ninja? Kiba/Kabu: Hey!! Itachi: Hehe, Kabuto is Harry Potter and Orochimaru is Voldemort, teehee.

Kabu/Oro: shut up!! Itachi: -snicker- and anyway, Sakura is Lesbian so theres no point in Sakura: -from behind the door sounding very upset and wet- I AM NOT!!! Itachi: -rolls eyes- denial. Jiraiya: Tsunadeeh, I like her boobs. goofy smile- No seriously, shes a good friend, but as far as that way I dont think I could ever handle her. Heh. Orochimaru: but then how will you handle me? Jiraiya: what? I dont even want to Orochimaru: -unwinds himself from around Kabuto and slinks over to Jiraiyas lapDont be silly, Jiraiya. I know you want me. Jiraiya: -trying not to nosebleed all over the place again- N-noI dont Orochimaru: -licks his cheekJiraiya: -faintsOrochimaru: -slips off his lap snickering happily with himselfyo everyone i can end this fight over whos the best ninja it has to be Jiraiya for the time being simply put oro even though u never fought him u said u cant win but Itachi sucks anyway... just 2 questions 1 Jiraiya if u could have one other women in there who would u pick 2 sakura if u could have any 5 people stuck in there with yo other than Sasuke cuz thats too clear who would they be u know answering questions? later Vinson

Jiraiya: hmmm, Id have to say Anko. Shes got a great rack and is way looser than this one gestures Kurenai-. Kurenai: -smashes Jiraiyas head with a skilletKiba: Whered you get a skillet? Kurenai: A woman always has her resources. puts skillet awayMen: -shock and horrorItachi: -knocks on the door to the swimming pool- Come on Sakura! Answer the question!

Sakura: I dont wanna! Go away! sniffleItachi: -sigh- Kabuto, go talk to her. Kabuto: What? Why me? Why not Kurenai? Itachi: Youre the one who started this. Go get her ass back out here. Kabuto: Why do we even care? Shino: Because this story doesnt go anywhere without her. Itachi: What he said. thinks- what the fuck did he just say? Kabuto: Ugh, whatever, fine. -goes into swimming pool roomWhen Kabuto entered the room he was first shocked by how big it was. A square, twentyfive meter swimming pool filled most of the room, with a three-foot ledge around it with a few benches at the far wall. The walls were colored a peach color and a soft gold light lit the place warmly. The pool was crystal-like and caught some unseen light-force and reflected it beautifully. Then he noticed Sakura. She was sitting with her back to him on the second step of a staircase leading into the pool. Soaking wet and shivering, looking pitiful. Kabuto watched her for a bit, not really sure what the hell everyone expected him to do. As he watched Sakura sniffled a couple times and raise her hand as if wiping away tears, Kabuto felt something strange stirring in his stomach. Every time Sakuras shoulders shook with another sob, his throat went dry, every time she hugged herself sadly his gut clenched uncomfortably. Kabuto feltguilty. Kabuto: -thinks- what the fuck? I have nothing to feel badabout-shifts uncomfortablySakura: -hearing the noise she spins around- whos there? sees Kabuto- Ohits you go away. turns away againKabuto: -taking a couple steps forward- Ehermthe others want you to come back and answer the questions Sakura: I dont know who I want with me, but I know pretty damn well who Id like to leave. Kabuto: -scowl- Sakura, come on. What the hell is your problem? Sakura: -scoffs and shakes her head- Nothing. sniffleKabuto: -shifts again- Well if your not coming out I guess Ill leave

Sakura: -just before Kabuto opens the door back into the bad room- Why are you such a dick? Kabuto: -walking back over- What do you mean? Its kind of my job to Sakura: Was it your job to fucking kiss me? Kabuto: I was drunk! Trust me I wouldnt have kissed you otherwise. Sakura: God, youre such a jackass. Why did it have to be you? Kabuto: Why did what have to beSakurawas that your first kiss? Sakura: -nodsKabuto: Oh, gross. I feel like I robbed the fucking cradle Sakura: I bet I feel worse. Kabuto: -scowl- Wellwhatever. sits on the ledge next to Sakura- Why are you sitting in the pool? Sakura: I fell in Kabuto: oh yeah -awkward silenceSakura: Do you want anything else? Kabuto: Not really Sakura: Then go away. Kabuto: -sighs and start taking off his shirtSakura: Whoa! Whoa! WHOA! When I said I wanted to see you naked I didnt mean Kabuto: -drops shirt on the ledge- calm down, kid, I just wanted to go for a swim. dives inwhich is very dangerous and you should never do in a shallow water!! Kabuto could have a fucking spinal injury right now!!!!!! As a lifeguard I should not be writing this sceneSakura: -watches Kabuto swimwatches intently-

Kabuto: -swimming back over to her- Why dont you swim? Sakura: Im almost drymostly Kabuto: -rolls eyes and pulls her inSakura: Aiiie!! My hair was still dry! Kabuto: Hehe, got you wet. Sakura: -bluuush- Im leaving-tries to swim awayKabuto: -grabbing her arm- not until you get over being so annoyingly depressed, youre not. Sakura: -turns back around as Kabuto tries to make her turn around and the resulting force sends her crashing into his chestthey fall back into the pool. YAYSakura: -sitting up- Sorry Kabuto: -gigglingwhat?- Its fine. Youre light anyway. -Kabuto sits up too, but realizes Sakura is still in his lap, and their faces are aboutoh, two inches away from each otherKabuto: -pushing some wet hair out of her face- Hey, Sakura? Sakura: Y-yeah? Kabuto: Im sorry. Sakura: -blush- I-its ok. -insert your basic, ooooh, were so close we could almost moment and thenBANG!! the sound of a door swinging open to show Itachi and the others in the doorwayItachi: What is taking you two so fucking long? Orochimaru: GAAAA!! Youre having sex in the pool without me!!!!! Kabu/Saku: -again, your classic, oh damn what were we doing?! moment, and then they break apart- NO! No we werent doing anything!!! Orochimaru: Well, hell, Im getting in too!! jumps in the pool-

Everyone jumps in the pool!!! (except Gaara, Kurenai and Zabuza) Kiba: Gaara, why wont you come in? Gaara: I dont like water. Kiba: What are you a cat? Gaara: No. Kiba: then get in the damn pool!! Gaara: no. Zabuza: -pushes Gaara inGaara: -resurfacing and sulking in the shallow water- I hate all of you. Orochimaru: -ruffling his hair- Aww, we love you too cutie. Gaara: -swims away to join Kiba and Shino in the deep endItachi: Zabuza! Youre a water ninja! You should love swimming! Zabuza: -flips the fingerHaku: Zabuza-san! Come swim with me! Zabuza: -jumps into the poolJiraiya: Ne, Kurenai, if youre not getting in because of your clothes I have a white t-shirt you can borrow! Kurenai: -throws skillet at Jiraiyas headJiraiya: -dodges underwaterthe skillet hits Kabutos head as he starts to get out of the poolagain, the other oneKabuto: -moans- why meee-falls back into the poolOrochimaru: Yeowch, thatd hurt. Jiraiya: -resurfacing near Orochimaru- Arent you gonna help him? Orochimaru: Nope.

Sakura: -helps Kabuto into shallow water- You ok? Kabuto: -in high-pitched voice- No Sakura: -snickerLucifel: Ok, Im done letting them all have happy-joy-lalala play-time. the pool suddenly drains, and all the people swimming in the deep end suddenly fall painfully to the bottom of the poolGaara: See? SEE?! This is why I didnt want to swim! Kiba: ouch Haku: Huh, I feel fine. Is happily in Zabuzas arms since the jounin caught himOrochimaru: OH NO!! With the water gone I cant ever have my pool orgy!! Sits weepilyKabuto: -pouncing on Orochimaru- Thats alright, Orochimaru-sama, well just have to make due without the water. Orochimaru: -smiling- Kabuto, when did you get so forward? Kabuto: What can I say? Seeing you all wet turned me on But sadly, amazing, wonderful, passionate sex didnt happen, because poor Kabutos private parts were too severely bruised to do any immediate action. Lucifel: One last note. I will not be answering any more question/reviews asking you should accept Sasukes gay or in the same vein why do you like Sasuke? unless you word it originally and in a way with which I can do something. Srsly ppl Shino: DIE!!! Lucifel: Ive gotten those two questions like, a billion, zillion times. (Exaggerating? I think not) oh, and also go out with Lee!! will no longer be addressed. But keep the questions coming! Also, also, Im sorry this entry took a serious note for a bit there, but I thought adding a bit of story flavor might be fun. I hope there was still enough humor for you all. Much luv, cya! Lucifel Shino: AAARRRGGGG!!! Pounces on me with KunaiLucifel: AAAAARRRRGGGGG!!!!!

-blood spurtAsk Sakura 13 Lucifel: HEY! IM BACK!! I hope you all missed me, and I promise to give Ask Sakura and all of you my extreme love and attention from now on (maybe a couple vacations never this long again I hope). Im posting three HUGE updates to catch up and then Im making an official schedule. Bear with me, these are massive. Ive just a few notes: Ive gotten several I dont like yaoi comments and even one person said he was disgusted by turning straight characters gay. My take on it is that making, say, Naruto and Sasuke get together is even more likely than a combo like Gaara and Hinata. Its just another form of crack coupling. Ok, I didnt need a rant just to say that, and since I didnt make an immediate warning about being yaoi-fangirl I have no reason to be offended, but try to just realize Im doing this whole thing as a humor piece and I loooove my yaoi, k? Just take it with a laugh and be happy I even PUT a hetero couple in here (which actually happened by accident- Dammit, Lucifel, if you keep ranting like this youre gonna loose fansIm stopping.) Now, ehehehe, lets begin with our lucky thirteenth installment shall we? So, after everyone got out of the pool they realize how very stupid it was to go swimming without extra clothing to change into afterwards. Kabuto got guilted into giving Sakura his dry shirt to wear so Sakuras pretty much the only one even a little bit warm as they get resituated in the room of TERROR ahem- I mean that room where they answer questionsso yeah. Kiba and Shino snuggle to try and keep warm and Kabuto is in Orochimarus lap as the scene opens. Sakura: Hello one and all! Now that were out of the pool and dressed in dry clothing Everyone else: -shivering- SHUT UP!!! Sakura: teehee, anyway, lets get on with the question so we can try to catch up, ne? Jiraiya: Hey, Kurenai, those other kids have the right idea. Why not come and share body heat? Kurenai: -holds up skillet- what did you say? Jiraiya: -trying to cover all sensitive targets at once- N-nothingnothing at all-huddles with selfHiya! Waves to everybody! My baka little brother has some questions 4 u guys (his name is mj) mj: Q1 hey Itachi who would u like to have gaysex with? Naruto, Rock Lee or Kakashi? Sugar: Baka... mj: Q2 hey Sakura who do u like better? Kakashi, Rock Lee or Gai? Sugar: Did u ate crack? mj: i dunno but i ate some white powdery stuff that tasted bad...Q3 Itachi do u like or have u read Icha Icha paradise? Also Pervee-sage my sister wanted to be one of the models 4 ur book!

Sugar: I do not and i'm only 12!!i cant do that!Ur totally on crack mj: watever Q4 Pervee-sage do u like lesbosex or gaysex? Q5 Itachi which do u like red or dark purple? Sugar: well thats all bye bye!! and i luv everybody from the cast of Naruto! mj: cept me i hate rock lee...

Itachi: This is the worst letter yet Kabuto: Hehe, I think its pretty great, myself. Itachi: Shut up, you. Kabuto: Of course, you want to answer the questions Itachi: -glares- So anyway, the first two are utterly disgusting ideas and I would never touch either of their twelve-year-old-asses ever. Kakashi, however, is pretty fecking hot. Orochimaru: Oh, hell yeah. Kabuto: Gross Orochimaru: I know youve thought it too. Kabuto: No, I only want you-leans inOrochimaru: -suddenly slips over next to Jiraiya so Kabuto falls flat on his face- Jiraiyakun, you look cold. Jiraiya: -tries to stop shivering- I am not!! Orochimaru: -slipping hands around his waist- I think you are Jiraiya: eep. Kabuto: -getting up all teary eyed, moaning- Orochimaru-samaaa. Inner Sakura: Thats what you get fucker. Sakura: UmmKakashis a good teacher but a little weird, and Gai creeps me out sometimesSo I guess I like Lee the best. Hes a good kid. Kabuto: -through conspicuous coughing- andfuntoscrewaroundwith. Sakura: What was that? Kabuto: Oh nothing, just you know, being half-naked and freezing cold may have given me a bit of a cough.

Sakura: -wrapping the dry shirt tighter around her- whatever Gaara: Dude, where did you get the crack and can I have some? Kurenai: Gaara!! Gaara: Im stuck in here with all of you. Why wouldnt I want to get high? Zabuza: Damn, that does sound good right now Gaara: See!? He understands Kurenai: First person who tries to slip something illegal in here gets it. Im in charge of these minors Jiraiya: What if theyre giving it to one of the adults? Kurenai: then I bring out the skillet. Jiraiya: -straightening- I most definitely will not accept any illegal substances of any sort. Kurenai: Damn right you wont-starts dong that responsible adult thing and patrolling for substancesItachi: No, I dont read things like that. If I want porn I make my own. Orochimaru: Would you happen to be wanting any right now? Itachi: Im always on top. Orochimaru: Thats fine with me. Itachi: I prefer to be the oldest. Orochimaru: Thats fine with me. Itachi: umm Orochimaru: What? Jiraiya: Youve really snappedanyway, if youre talking about watchingGirl-on-girl is Kurenai: Ahem fiddles conspicuously with skittle handle-

Jiraiya: --is the most unattractive thing ever. I meanuhyoung women are certainly free to make their own sexual choices but Iummwould neveruh, use them demonstrating these choices for my own enjoymentaherm Itachi: So you prefer guy-on-guy, thats cool. Jiraiya: what?! NO! Itachi: Hey, you said it, not me. And actually Im more of a lavender person. Gaara: What? Itachi: My favorite colorits lavender. Kiba: As in the girly, pastel purple? Itachi: No, as in the light-toned, relaxing shade of purple. ScowlKiba: riiiight. Gaara: -adds name to listShino: What did they do? Gaara: -eyes last sentence- ohnothing Rock Lee: Did my ears hear the wretched sound of someone disrespecting my youthful energy and awesome eyebrows?! Gaara: SQUEEEEE!!!!! Glomps Rock LeeEveryone: WTF?! Gaara: -sits up quickly, blushing, and nonchalantly walks back over the his tower of crates (yes he still has enough to make a tower)Itachi: Gaara, seriouslywhat the fuck? Gaara: -silencebut is eyeing Lee as he sits up dizzilyKiba: -helping Lee to his feet- you ok? Lee: -looking around in dazed confusion- um yes Kiba: Howd you get here?

Lee: -posing dramatically- Ah! The horrible tale! I was traveling through what seemed like a very short and straight-forward tunnel and somehow got separated from Gai-sensei and the others and came out this drain at a bottom of the pool in that room over there and then wandered in here hoping for a way out!! Alasthis room doesnt even have a door. Jiraiya: Sure it does, the one leading to the pool room. Orochimaru: Are you an idiot or something? Jiraiya: no, Im not, sir pot. Orochimaru: hey! I dont smoke THAT much! Jiraiya: actually I was referencing the expression Orochimaru: whatever! Im offended now! Stalks back over to Kabuto, who happily snuggles with the snakey-ninjaSakura: -still looking in shock from the trying-to-be-nonchalant Gaara and the blushing, fidgety keeps-glancing-over-at-Gaara Lee- Pleaselets just move along
For Itachi: did you know that i stalk you? I saw you make out with tsunade the other day do you like her? For Orochimaru: did you know that when i see you i think of Michael Jackson. You look just like him is he your mom? KISA UCHIHA

Itachi: Yeahlots of people stalk me. Jiraiya: WHAAAAAT?! Youandyou.Tsunade. Itachi: Nope. Jiraiya: Sowaitwhat? Itachi: I never made out with Tsunadeor any woman. I heard that she does, however, have this fetish of asking her boyfriends to use some disguise jutsu to turn into shinobi she wants to screw with but cant actually get. Jiraiya: Where the hell did you hear this?! Orochimaru: Its kind of common knowledge, Jira. Jiraiya: IT IS?! Orochimaru: No duh.

Itachi: -as Jiraiya mutters to himself in confusion- it is? Orochimaru: No. I like to make him squirm. Itachi: -holds out handOrochimaru: -high fivesSakura: Orochimaruyour question? Orochimaru: Do I look half-black to you? Sakura: N-no. Jiraiya: Hey, speaking of which, has anyone ever seen a kid in Konoha that wasnt Asian or kind-of Caucasian looking? Itachi: Nope. Those racist bastards Jiraiya: Geezthat is pretty ridiculous. Oh well, I guess Ill have to populate the whole place with beautiful ethnic women and our half-ethnic babies!! Perverted giggleKurenai: -sighs and rolls eyes as she investigates what could be a secret compartment for drugsShino: -to Kiba- Shes getting a little paranoid isnt she? Kiba: Teehee, if she knew where you went every day after training Shino: Shh.
Hi it ish me again! YAY! HAKU AND ZABUZA! :3 Dear Sakura 1(for Haku and Zabuza) if you two get married can I plan the wedding? 2 (for Gaara) WILL YOU MARRY ME!? I have Mr. Bear (Stuffed bear thing u had when u were little) hostage and if u don't marry me I shall DESTROY HIIMM! -Laughs evily3 (for Itachi) if I give you the frappucino -holds up frappucino- will u be meh friend? 4 (for Sakura) why u be so mean to Lee? If u don't go out with him at least go out with Kabuto... 5 (for Shino) why u always wear sunglasses? From BellaGaara12

Haku: Are you good at planning weddings? Zabuza: guhwedding? Haku: Yup! I think we could have a really lovely one! Zabuza: UhI.sure

Haku: -big, puppy eyes- Youyou were always planning to marry me werent you? Zabuza: Yesyes of course. TwitchHaku: You werent-really, really cute sad face, biting his nail a littleZabuza: No! NoII want to M-marry you, I just Haku: -smiles and sits next to Gaara, watching Zabuza stumble over trying to figure out his own wordsGaara: You never expected him to marry you did you? Haku: Nope. Cute smileGaara: Theres hope for you yet-pats Hakus shoulderHaku: -giggle- you gonna get married? Gaara: -glances at letter- Not to that chick. You can go ahead and burn him. I dont really care. Haku: ah! No! Dont burn the cute little stuffed Bear! Ill take him! Gaara: Take him Itachi: Arg! For the last time no! I have unlimitedwell, kind of unlimitedFrappucinos here! One is not gonna make me your fucking friend! Turn into a cute young boy and then well see. The young boys in the room: eep back awayItachi: Oh, bug off. Most of you arent cute enough. Kiba: I resent that! Itachi: youre one of the cute ones. Kiba: -pause- I resent that too! Itachi: -rolls eyesLee: Mean? Sakura is never mean!! She will someday come to realize how very much I love her! And that I would take care of her with all my youth and energy! -Dramatic pose-

Gaara: -looks sadly at LeeKabuto: Or, shell just keep treating you like sh Sakura: -dives across room to cover Kabutos mouth- No more from you!! Kabuto: -pushing her away- Hey, I gave you my damn shirt, Im allowed to make whatever comments I want. Sakura: Oh no youre not! Im still the highest authority here, this is MY story, and Im going to exercise my damn rights! Inner Sakura: -nods in approval- HELL YEAH Kabuto: -holding up hands- ok, ok, Ill keep my mouth shut about you abusing the hearts of the men who love you. Sakura: GRAAAAAH!!!!! Pounces and lots of violence ensuesLee: Go Sakura-san!! You have much more youth than that man! You can defeat him!! Shino: While theyre doing that Ill go ahead and use this time to say its none of your damn business. Kiba: -leaning forward and whispering- his eyes get really bloodshot, yknow? He doesnt want everyone seeing. Shino: Thanks so much for that. Kiba: -kisses Shinos cheek- Of course babe. Lucifel: The following is an excerpt from the review by avatarjk137, which I thought was funny, even though hes a yaoi-hater:
I am willing to accept that Kabuto and Haku might be gay, Orochimaru is probably omnisexual (boys, girls, children, Haku, chairs, you name it), and Sasuke is... emo.

Jiraiya: -cracks up- Oh man! Thats great! Orochimaru: Eww, chairs arent sexy at all. Smirk- there was, however, this one sofa that was really hot Jiraiya: you are so sick and wrong Orochimaru: Isnt it great? Big smileJiraiya: Yeeeeah.

Itachi: -snickers- emoyeah, thats about all Haku: excuse me Gaara. walks over to the still confused and muttering Zabuza- Zabuzasan? Zabuza: Haku! Suddenly grabs Hakus shouldersHaku: uhyes? Zabuza: I decided youre right! Haku: hwa? Zabuza: you deserve as much commitment as I could possibly ever give you! Haku: -stunnedZabuza: Haku, Im going to marry you! Haku: -tears gather in big, shocked eyes- Zabuza-sanI-I dont know what to say, I Zabuza: -kisses Haku long and passionatelySakura: SQUEEE!! Why cant I get that?! Kabuto: -through coughing- becuaseyoureanuglybitch Sakura: Whats that? Kabuto: Nothing, just wishing I had my shirt back Sakura: -snuggled deeper into the dry fabric- hellll no. Zabuza: Haku Haku: -trying not to cry- y-yes? Zabuza: I have one condition to marrying you. Haku: Anything. Zabuza: you wont let the fan girls plan the wedding. Haku: Aww, you always ruin all my fun.

Lucifel: Ok, hi, making an interlude here. This bit coming up next finally includes the much anticipated Dares and truths for our captured ninja. Truths are public, and the mass dare is public, but the personal dares can only be seen by those it was given too. And they must be done during this chapter. Eat your sadistic little hearts out:
Okay, *grin* Truths: Kabuto- Have you ever had/ wanted to have sex with anyone besides Orochimaru-sama and (since youre being a prick by choosing truth) who? Haku- How is Zabuza in bed? XD *even bigger grin* dares: Zabuza- Try to cut off Orochimaru-sama's hair. Kiba- Act like a cat for the rest of the chapter. The rest of you get the same dare... Kiss who you think is the sexiest person in the room!! (Kiba and Zabuza are obvious) Have fun guys.

Kiba: nooooo!! Lucifel: Thats not very cat like. Kiba: -crying gets down on all fours and starts rubbing against Shinos legs- meow. Shino: What the hell? -SNIPOrochimaru: What was tha-AAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!! MY HAIR!!! WTFOMGBBQ!!!! MY HAAAAAAIR!!!! Turns with angry fiery eyes on the group- Which one of you fuckers did it? Zabuza: -sneakily places Orochimarus hair in Kabutos lapOrochimaru: YOU! You selfish, jealous, worthless piece of treacherous SCUM!!! Kabuto: W-what? Finds hair- No! No Orochimaru-sama it wasnt me!! Orochimaru: Dont lie to me! Youre just mad because I keep giving Sasuke more attention than you! Kabuto: Thats not true!! If I was jealous Id do something to Sasuke, not you! Orochimaru: Liar! Youre a devious, cunning little bastard and I know it! Kabuto: No! I love you too much to ever hurt you!! Breaks down sobbingLucifel: -holds up audience cue card awwwww-

Orochimaru: -gripping his now chin-length hair- Well this fucking hurts!! Itachi: Its your hairhow can it hurt? Orochimaru: It wasnt my hair! Its my LIFE!! Jiraiya: But it changes every time you switch bodies. Orochimaru: I dont CARE!! Its the fucking principle!! RantsZabuza: -is trying not to crack upGaara: -in all the loud, crazy confusion sneaks over to Lee and sits beside him, smiling in a very un-Gaara-like wayHaku: -blinks in surprise at Gaara, as the only one who noticesLee: -glances sideways at Gaara but dares not moveKiba: -still crying- meooow. Jiraiya: -thinks- how to calm him down? How to calm him down?! Light bulb appears over his head- You know, Oro, I think you look really cute with Short hair. Orochimaru: -stops short- Youyou do? Jiraiya: For sure. Orochimaru: -playing with his hair- wellwell, I guess its not so bad. Leering down his nose at Kabuto- I suppose I could forgive you. Kabuto: -standing up, and trying to control his tears in a manly way- I dont want your fucking forgiveness. Stalks off and closes himself in the pool roomSakura: -sigh- Haku, take over while Im gone. I owe him one cheering up session. Haku: Sureyou know his truth is next right? Sakura: Yeah, thats the real reason why Im going to get him. Itachi: suuure it is. Why dont you trust me to take over? Sakura: Are you fucking kidding me? Good luck Haku. Goes into roomHaku: Well, ok, Ill go ahead and answer my truthoh-blushes- Hes good.

Zabuza: -thinks- Is that it?! Itachi: Is that it?! Haku: well, uhI dont really know how to describe it in detailsI mean hes strong butstill gentle. Sometimes he gets a little carried away and it hurts but, hes my Zabuza-san, being with him is the most wonderful thing I could ever imagine. Zabuza: -looking at Haku lovingly- Haku Orochimaru: Ill show you something wonderful Zabuza: -stands between Oro and Haku- You keep the fuck away. Orochimaru: Actually, I was thinking more about doing it to you. Haku: -suddenly very menacing as he glares out from behind Zabuzas back- Try it, you snake and Ill poke your eyes out! Kiba: Damn, even Haku can get a little possessive. Shino: If you had a lover like that wouldnt you want him all to yourself? Kiba: I do. Nuzzles under Shinos chin- meow Shino: Thats getting a little creepy. Kiba: cant help it. -Licks hand and then rubs headShino: Orochimaru: So-looks mischievous- Now we all just have to kiss who we think is sexiest right? Itachi: yep! Orochimaru: What if I cant decide? Itachi: Then we have an orgy! Orochimaru: Thats what I was thinking!! Ita/Oro: -triumphant poses-W00T!! Everyone else (besides Gaara): NO!

Ita/Oro/Gaa: Dammit Lee: -looks twitchily at GaaraGaara: -kisses Lee passionatelyItachi: WHOA!! Gaara: -after ten long seconds- What? Hes who I think is sexiest. Itachi: -blinks- No, seriously Gaara: -slides into Lees lap- Seriously. Lee: -brain-dead from that most shockingly good kissItachi: Ugh, now Im so grossed out I dont even think I can kiss anyone. Is suddenly kissed by Kurenai- Holy mother ofwowthatthat was some kiss! Suddenly realizes who kissed him- HOLY SHIT!! WTF?! Kurenai: I tried not to. But my body just did it. This damn place wont let us ignore anything. Itachi: Yeah, thats fine. But youre a woman and I liked your kiss! Kurenai: And thats supposed to mean? Itachi: YOU KISS LIKE A MAN!!! Kurenai: the fuck?! Kiba: -Kisses KurenaiKurenai: -pushes Kiba away- Kiba, woah! You didnt have to test the idea!! Kiba: Are you dense? Sits all cat-like- Thats not why I did it. Meow. Kurenai: -bluuush- OhImah, flattered? Shino: -staring in angry shock at Kiba.Gaara: waitaminute!! Kiba didnt have to kiss anyone!! Kiba: -horror- oh shit Shino: Yeahyou didnt have to.

Itachi: Oh snap!! Orochimaru: MY TURN! -Pounces on Jiraiya with a big, deep, messy kissJiraiya: -tries to yell something through Orochimarus tongueOrochimaru: -pulls back- mmm, yummy. Jiraiya: what the fuck!?!?! Orochimaru: Heh, your turn. Kiss who you think is sexiest! Jiraiya: -Blushing many, many deep shades of red- -mutters somethingItachi: Huh? What was that? Jiraiya: I just did, ok?! Orochimaru: EEEEE!!! Kisses Jiraiya again- Do you really think Im sexy? Jiraiya: W-wellwith the short hair and alland I mean, you really look like a girl Orochimaru: YAY!! Snuggles in Jiraiyas lapKurenai: -still holding the skillet she had pulled out in preparation- What the hell? Itachi: Aww, jealous that you arent the smexiest person in the room? Kurenai: Nojuststunned. Itachi: Me too, a little. Walks over to the other side of the room and kisses Gaara, who graciously accepts and reciprocates the gesture, while still seated in Lees lapGaara: Not half bad. Itachi: You neither. walks back over to his selected spot among his crates of frap mix.Shino: -sitting angrily in a cornerItachi: Come on Shino, youre the only one leftoh, besides Sakura Meanwhile

-Sakura and Kabuto are talking; Kabutos calmed down only a little and is going on long rants abut how unfairly one-sided his and Orochimarus relationship is when suddenly Sakura leans forward and kisses Kabuto. Sakura: -pulls back- WHAT THE MOTHER-FUCKING HELL!?!!? Kabuto: -blinks a few stunned times and then laughs- Calm down, Sakura, it was just the dare! Sakura: o-ohgood Back in the room!! Kiba: Shino rubs his forehead against Shinos shoulder-whats wrong? Shino: Idont want to kiss you. Kiba: huh? Shino: I am fighting the urge to kiss you for being the sexiest person in this room! Kiba: Whats so bad about that? Shino: -GLARESKiba: Ohthe Kurenai thing Shino: Yeah the fucking Kurenai thing. Kiba: ShinoIm sorry. I forgot I didnt have to, and shes sexy is all. I still love you best. Shino: -sigh- fine. Kiba: Ok then. Leans inShino: -kisses KibaKiba: -is suddenly bitten by Shino- OW!! Shino: hmpf, thats what you get. Kiba: -smirks- Actuallythat just turned me on. Shino: Ugh, animals

Haku: Oh dearthat took a lot of time. We better hurry on to more questions!! Gaara: damn, the kids already got Sakuras attitude down perfectlyeww.
Hello prisoners! It's been fun watching you be tortured, but I think some of you deserve a gift, and in exchange maybe a question Orochimaru: a picture of Gaara in a school girl's uniform now, why are you so pale? And dont tell Gaara about the picture Kiba: heres a chocolate cake and tied to this letter is a box with Akamaru in it. Why are you always wearing your hoodie? Jiraiya: a picture of Tsunade in a Bikini if you arent passed out/dead from nosebleed, whyd you choose turtle as your animal to summon? Sakura: nothing why are you such a bitch? Itachi: purple nail polish is there anything between you and Kisame?

Everyone: YAY!! More presents!!!!! Orochimaru: Holy shit!! Its a picture of Gaara in a skirt! reads last sentence of his question- oopsthat might not have been a good idea. Gaara: GRRRRRAAAAAARRRR! jumps on Orochimaru and tries to take the picture back, in the frenzy it floats over to Lee and, blushing, he takes it to a corner to look at itLucifel: Yeah, hes a little closet pervert. Lee: -looking up- Gasp! A voice!! A new one!! Itachi: Are you feeling ok? Lee: -starts cowering- Why does this happen to me? Gaara: -stops fighting with Oro- Whered the picture go? Orochimaru: I dont know, but I want it BACK. Itachi: Lee has it. Oro/Gaa: -Zoom over to LeeOrochimaru: Lee, be a good boy and give me my picture Gaara: -notices that Lee seems a little unnerved- Are you ok Lee?

Lee: Did you hear the voice? Gaara: Ummno Orochimaru: -notices picture lying on the ground and quietly picks it up and takes it to a corner where he...ahummyeahGaara: -sits next to Lee- So youre hearing voices? Lee: -nodsGaara: -sighs- -thinks- I hope this isnt my fault Kiba: HAHA!! YAY AKamaru-holds up severed rope- -sniffle- no...-sits down and eat chocolate cake to drown his sorrowsShino: -comes over, takes a piece of cake, and leavesItachi: harsh Shino: -sitting- I have to be. Kiba: I wear my hoodie to hide my shaaaame!!! Pulls hoodie over headItachi: riiiight. Kurenai: ARGH!! Jiraiya! You just bled all over me!! Jiraiya: -holding nose and stuffing the picture into his pocket- sorry, sorrycouldnt help itoh, damn Anyway, Im pretty sure I summon frogs Orochimaru: -coming back over from the corner- Snakes eat frogs. Jiraiya: Not when the frog is big enough this squash the snake with one foot! Orochimaru: What about snakes that are just as big? Jiraiya: You suck. Orochimaru: noSlugs suck. Jiraiya: -snicker- For realwhat good use do slugs have? I mean its like makes goofy face- woooo Im a slug and Im gonna sliiime you Orochimaru: -cracking up- I know, right? I mean, who the hell uses Slugs for a summoning animal?

Meanwhile: Tsunade: AAAACHOO!!! -Twitch- I sense a disturbance Shizune: Oh no you dont! No chasing disturbances until you get through Julys paperwork!! A note: Its currently January where they are, too. Tsunade: But Shizuneeee Shizune: Tsunade-sama, please, its for the best! Tsunade: -thinks- damn, I was really hoping Id get to beat up Jiraiya finallysiiigh. Back in the room! Oro/Jira: -cracking upLee: -gasp- Sakura-sans NOT a bitch!! She is a wonderful and kind and beautiful person! Itachi: Yeah, and if she had been here to read that shed show just how kind and beautiful she is Lee: Well, Im here to defend her honor for her! Gaara: -mumbling angrily- How nice of you Lee: Whats wrong? Gaara: Nothing Lee: -clueless blinkingItachi: YAY! Nail polish! I dont have to worry about chipping it anymore! Jiraiya: You mean to tell me you were spending this whole time making sure your nails stayed ok? Itachi: Damn straight. Haku: ooh! Its not my usual color but I could use a new coat! Itachi: sweet! We can do each others!!

Haku: yay! -and Itachi and Haku became chibi and the crate fortress became surrounded with pink light and rainbows and unicorns and flowers as the two of them had their little polish partythe rest of the men backed away slowlyexcept OrochimaruOrochimaru: hey! Can I get some too?! Ita/Haku: Sure!! Orochimaru: wheee!! runs over and becomes chibi tooZabuza: -drools over how cute chibi Haku isJiraiya: Dont go over there, Zabuza, you dont want to be a part of that. Zabuza: II know buthes SO cute!! starts to walk towards themJiraiya: -standing in his way- Get a hold of yourself! Hes cute even normal-sized, and hell be back as soon as the polish dries! Zabuza: -shakes head roughly- Y-Youre right. I dont know what got into me Jiraiya: -puts a hand on Zabuzas shoulder- Its alright. We got to you in time. Kiba: -sniffling- Akamaruuumeow Lucifel: You knowa cat would be playing with that frayed ropeKiba: -While sobbing, half heartedly starts batting the ropeKurenai: We have another letter here Ita/Oro/Haku: -giggleEveryone but Kiba: -shudderKiba: -thinks- this is kind of fun -tumbles around with the ropeShino: -thinks- CUTE!!!!!! NO! nocant bedrawnin
Have only a few questions 1) (for sakura-san) if Sasuke had never existed who would you want to go out with? ITACHI, NEJI, OR GAARA? 2) (For Itachi-sama) is there any other caffeinated drink you like? cuz everyone is giving you frappicinos (sends a pack anyway) 3) (for Orochimaru-san) when did you figure out you were gay?? ( I may not like adore you but without you there wouldn't be a main bad guy in the anime)

4)( for AngelLucifel) where is Neji? he may not be gay( correct me if im wrong, there are some fics that do that, not that im against yaoi.) thnx SilverMononoke

Jiraiya: Hey sakura!! If Sasuke never existed, would you go out with Itachi, Neji or Gaara? no reply Jiraiya: I SAID -The door bursts open and Sakura storms out, with a much-better looking Kabuto behind her; theyre both a littlemussedSakura: yeah, yeah, I heard you Jiraiya: soooo? Kabuto: Oh my GOD. What are those three doing?! Jiraiya: You dont want to know. Kabuto: -shiversShino: -to Kabuto- Heyyou got your shirt back on Kabuto: -blushblushblush- ummm, yeah, Sakuras dress was dry so we switched back. Shino: In the same room? Kabuto: No? Shino: riiiight. Sakura: Itachis gross and-eyes the rainbow-fest- gay, Gaaras creepy, and Nejis huh, I guess hes a little like Sasukeif I had to pick any of them probably Neji. Lee: -running over to her- BUT if you had your choice of anyone it would be me, right Sakura-san? Gaara: -glaresSakura:-eyeing Gaara worriedly- ummsure, Lee. Lee: -triumphant smileGaara: -deep, dark, evil scowl-

Itachi: Mountain Dew is good. Haku/Oro: Yaaay!! Mountain Dew!! Lee: Whats mountain Dew? Kabuto: Poor thing, he hasnt been here long enough for outside-world-realization to set in. Lucifel: Naw, I just like tormenting him. Lee: GAH! There it is again! Sakura: You can HEAR her?! Lee: You can!? Sakura: I thought I was going crazy! Lee: Me too! Kabuto: You ARE!! Sakura: -scowls over at Kabuto- Dont give me any trouble. You work for the craziest guy here. Kabuto: -sighs- yeahthat is true Itachi: yeah, Oro, when did you find out you were gay? Haku:-gigglesOrochimaru: WellI never liked girls, and when I got a crush on Jiraiya after we got put on a team together I kind of figured it was the only explanation Jiraiya: When yougotwhat? Orochimaru: I wuv you Jiraiya!! Ita/Haku: -giggleJiraiya: -scoots awayOro/Ita/Haku: -giggle-

Lee: OhI dunno where Neji is Lucifel: why dont you call him? Lee: Why dont Iguh? -A phone appears on the back wallLee: Ummwhat? Gaara: Well, go and try it. Shoves Lee forward a littleLee: -gulps and slowly picks up the phone. The number dials automatically and the phone starts ringing-A sprinkle of nervous giggle before the phone is picked up on the other endNeji: -sounding disheveled- Hello? Lee: N-Neji-kun? Neji: Yeahwho is this? Lee: Its Lee. Neji: Is this about last night? Lee: -BluuuushEveryone besides Gaara and the currently distracted Kiba: -tries not to crack up ridiculouslyGaara: -seethesLee: NO! Neji: -relieved sigh- Ok, what is it? Lee: -cant say anything in his embarrassmentKabuto: -takes phone- So I take it, then, that you are gay? Neji: Who is this?! I dont have to answer your questions!! -And in the background of the phone call a voicea voice everyone slightly recognizes somehow says:-

Strange voice: Neji-kun, come back to bedits probably just Naruto pulling a prank call. Kabuto: Oh-ho, so youve got a boy with you now have you? Nice. Neji: Who the hell are you? Other person: Im telling you, its just Naruto or Kiba Oro/Ita/Saku: -thinking- who is thatI know that voice? Neji: Im hanging up the phone now! Good bye! -Click-Everyone except Lee and Gaara explode laughing, until suddenly, Orochimaru interjects:Orochimaru: OH MY GOD!!! Sakura: W-what? Orochimaru: That was Sasuke. -Long, drawn-out silence. Kiba stops playing with the string and stares along with everyone elseSakura: W-what? Orochimaru: the other person with Nejithat was Sasuke Itachi: OH MY GOD! Callhimback! Callhimback!! -The phone disappearsEveryone: NOOOOO Sakura: But that meansthat one girlLIED to me Kabuto: Except about KankuroI bet he really does that creepy shit. Gaara: -sighSakura: thats unacceptable!!

Inner Sakura: THAT BITCH!! NOOO!!! YOU CANT TOY WITH MY HEART!!!!!! ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! -And with an explosion so powerful everyone was sent spiraling into furniture and walls the most horrid, and inexplicable thing happenedInner Sakura was set freeInner Sakura: About damn time too. Lucifel: That concludes Chapter Thirteen! Muwahahahhaahaha. Its realllly long, I know, but Im sure guys love itor at least I hope you do. So, This has been my return, see you later.

Ask Sakura 14 Lucifel: Alrighty, number two of the massive catching-up update. You know you love it. Orochimaru: thank god! Shino: what? Orochimaru: The nail polish survived the explosion! Shino: Then why is Itachi still looking horrified? Orochimaru: Ah, because, sadly, the frappucino machines did not. Gaara: WHAT?! NOOOO!!! Inner Sakura: HEY!! Dont you bitches even care about what just happened? Sakura: -swoonsKabuto/Lee: -run forward to catch herKabuto:-Gets there firstLee: -hangs head in disappointmentGaara:-looks at Lee as if hurtKabuto: You ok? Sakura: I feel really weak Inner sakura: Hmm, lets think about why that might be shall we? Jiraiya: Ummwhat just Inner Sakura: -bearing down on him- You!! You shut up you old pervert. Jiraiya: But I

Inner sakura: I said: Shut up and SIT DOWN. Jiraiya: -whimpers and sitsInner Sakura: Ok, I want everyone -Orochimaru and Haku start painting their nails againInner Sakura: And I mean EVERYONE. Nail polish explodes- To pay close attention to me. Oro/Haku: Noo!! WeepKiba: YES!!! NO MORE CAT STUFF!!!! -Inner Sakura turns to glare at Kiba, Kiba flies across the room and crashes into the wall, falling among pieces of broken crates. Shino gives a cry of shock and runs to his sideEveryone else: -shuts up and listens intently, Itachi falls to his knees and holds his hands weakly towards the shattered nail polish bottleInner Sakura: I run this show NOW, bitches. Im gonna answer questions for Sakura, and make sure everyone else does the same thing, to the same degree of truthfulness, or therell be PUNISHMENT. Understand? Gaara: But Inner Sakura: -turning to face him sharply- You have a problem with that? Gaara: N-no Inner Sakura: Good. Now, I may, or may NOT let you receive presents based on whether or not I like em or think you deserve em. Jiraiya: But thats not Inner Sakura: I want you all to remember, I am THE most powerful part of Sakuras brain. And I have POWERS. Jiraiya: P-powers? Inner Sakura: No, Kiba slammed himself against that wall by choice, totally. Everyone: -gulp-

Inner Sakura: So if no one objects, Im going to answer questions now. DOES anyone object? Everyone: no Inner Sakura: Good. By the way, from now on, refer to me as Zakura, that way I dont have to deal with this second Sakura and therefore a lesser character shit. Lucifel: And by the way, that is a legitimate Japanese name. Zakura: Now, weve skipped a couple questions. And I dont like that. Im going back now. The questions were Does Itachi have a thing for Kisame? and Has Kabuto ever wanted to or had sex with someone besides Orochimaru? Itachi: -twitch- thanks so much for bringing back bad memories Orochimaru: I smell a sex scandal!! Tell us Itachi! Come onnnn!! Itachi: No, no, I never liked him. I thought he was creepy and not hot at all buthe got drunk one night and kept hitting on me-shivers- it was horrible. Orochimaru: hehe, getting hit on by a fish, now I know how Kakashi feelsSo, Kabuto, have you?! Kabuto: -is distracted by still taking care of SakuraOrochimaru: Hey! Answer! Zakura: Feeling jealous already? Orochimaru: no. Kabuto: ugh. the next bit is said really fast- I had a few boyfriends and girlfriends before Orochimaru had sex with two of the boys but never truly loved anyone until I met Orochimaru and from that day on I have been totally loyal and never wanted anything more. Now will you PLEASE leave me alone?! Orochimaru: -blinks- I think Im a little flattered. Kabuto: It would be the first time Orochimaru: -ignores the hurting of KabutoOk Sakura Ive got a question for you... why do you REALLY like Sasuke? Because all you've been saying is that he's the only one for you, but that's not a reason. So you have to give me a REAL reason and you're not aloud to say because he's hot. And honestly deep down inside I don't think you truly love him.

And if you can't come up with a good reason then you'd better get away from MY Sasuke, not your's! MINE! Sincerely BehindTheHazelEyes P.S. You should a least TRY dating Naruto or Lee.

Zakura: Ok, the thing is, Sakura over there in the prissy-boys arms Kabuto: Hey! Zakura: -glaresKabuto: meep. Shuts upZakura: Ok, shes liked him for so long, its habit. She doesnt even know if she DOES love him anymore. She just knows shes supposed to. So actually, Hazel eyes, you have a point. Sakura: Th-Thats a lie. Zakura: You dont have a say in it. Sit down and think about it and youll find out you know. Im doing this for our own good. Kabuto: -places Sakura gently on the ground to sit, and hold her shoulders comfortingly as she sits in shock and exhaustion from the splitZakura: So yeah, basically hes all yours. Orochimaru: Actually, hes mine. Zakura: Whatever. Itachi: Sowhy dont you have the same obsession as Sakura? Zakura: WellI kind of did when I was inside her, but now that Im out Im an embodiment of her more hidden sides. Her aggression, her anger, her domination, and her lesbianism. Everyone: -shocked silenceOrochimaru: So youre Zakura: Currently checking out Kurenais ass, yeah. Kurenai: wha?!

Zakura: Calm down. Its a nice ass. And by the way, you cant pull the skillet on a fellow woman. Kurenai: No fair Lee: Ne, Sakura-san, I really would take care of youif you wanna talk or Sakura: Not now Lee!! My heads splitting and my stomach is in knots, andandstarts sobbingLee: -takes a step forward- Sakura-san I Kabuto: -holds up his hand to stop Lee and shakes his head while pulling Sakura into his lap further, so she can muffle her sobbing in his shoulderLee: -Turns all white and a cold, snowy wind blows by. His face is stamped in large, red letters: REJECTEDKiba: -has, during other happenings, gotten up and recovered and now walks over to LeeHey, you ok buddy? Lee: -stands stock stillKiba: Lee? Pats his shoulderLee: -crumblesKiba: -thinks- Shit! Shit! Shit! I broke Lee!! What do I do?! What do I do?! looks around shiftily and sees that no one is watching- -sneaks to a corner and thinks- Phew, that was closehuh, whered Gaara go? Gaara: -pouncing down from the ceiling- I SAW WHAT YOU DID YOU DAMN, DIRTY DOG!!!! -Aaaaand another background fight! YAY!!Sakura im going to get u and Kurenai out of their. Just tie Itachi, Kiba, Gaara, and Haku up with out their shirts on take a picture of them and send the picture and the boys in the mail to me. Just email me heres a computer so u can email me and Ill give u my address. Make sure you use charka strings on them so they dont break lose. Ill get u sakura and Kurenai out of their. P.S IM NEVER THIS COLD HEARTED OMLY WHEN IT COMES TO SHIRTLESS GUYS. P.S.S IM SO SORRY HAKU I JUST CANT HELP MYSELF WITH YOU BEING SO CUTE (GIGGLE). P.S.S.S KILL ORO PLZ HE IS SUCH A PERVERT DIE ORO. P.S.S.S.S SASUKE WILL NEVA BE GAY I WILL KILL ALL WHO SAY THAT. IM SO SORRY FOR ALL THE P.S .S 'S FROM YOURS TRULY SAKURAGIRL721

Zakura: Firstly, I enjoy it here. Im in control. Everyone: -moan-

Zakura: Secondly, while more domineering than Sakura I dont actually have the physical power to stave off both Itachi and Zabuzaso no can do. Though Haku is a cutie, ne? Zabuza: What happened to being Lesbian? Sakura: He counts as a girl. Haku: -giggleOrochimaru: Can we please have the computer? Zakura: All yours. Orochimaru: Heythere are no power outlets in this room Zakura: Nope, theres not. Orochimaru: You are the devil woman. Zakura: I knowbut apparently you have to die. Orochimaru: Yep, already added her name to my list. Gaara: Damn, almost catching up to me. Zakura: And Sasuke IS gay, sorry. Itachi: -to Sakura- SEE?! Deep down inside you knew all along!! Sakura: -moanKabuto: Leave her alone, Itachi Itachi: -smirks- oh yes sir Kabuto: -rubs her shoulders gentlyDear Sakura, I, myself am a TOTAL sasusaku fan also I am an ORICHIMARU-MUST-DIE-AND-ROT-IN-HELL fan. :D Anyway, Oro, how can Sasuke be gay if he has to repopulate the Uchiha clan? Kabuto, are you CHEATING on your beloved master with Deidara? Sincerely, D.O.B.E (Dark Overlord Bunny of Evil)

Zakura: Boy are you deluded. Even I, Sakura, know that Sasuke and I will NEVER happen.

Orochimaru: AND I AM TOO SMEXY TO ROT!!! Zakura: -sideways glance- riiight. Orochimaru: -frown- you dont think so? Zakura: What do I have to do? Get a buzz cut and play rugby? Im lesbian!! Orochimaru: ButIm pretty. Zakura: Yes, the short hair is very cute. No, youre not THAT womanly. Smirk- but apparently womanly enough for Jiraiya. Orochimaru: -looks over at Jiraiya confusedly- how so? Zakura: -leaning in and quieting her voice- To let you in on a secret, I can read minds and our little pervy sage over there is pretty much obsessed with you. Orochimaru: -eyes turn into hearts- SQUEEE!!! Zakura: -covering his mouth- shh, dont let him know youre onto him. Play it smooth. Orochimaru: -nod, nodZakura: Great, answer the questions and go get your man. Orochimaru: huh? Oh, Im sure Sasuke has a plan or something -saunters over to Jiraiya and sits next to him in as sexy of a position as possible- Hey. Jiraiya: Hi Orochimaru: -smiles, sighs, and lies across Jiraiyas lapJiraiya: -thinks- wtf? Itachi: -snickering- everything ok? Jiraiya: YeahI just cant decide if this new, calmer and less painful approach is good or just more unnerving Orochimaru: -happy sigh and snuggles closer to JiraiyaJiraiya: -thinks- and I also cant figure out how he manages to look so adorable and really be sohim

Itachi: Ill leave you to your snuggle-bunny then-snerkJiraiya: What?! No! Hesnot-looks at the happy Oro- -sighs and puts his arms around himZakura: Well, that distracts the two biggest perverts for a while. Satisfied smirkAnyway, Kabuto, any comments. Kabuto: Im TRYING to take care of the girl whose brain you shattered a few minutes ago!! FUCK OFF!! Zakura: Well, to summarize--No, hes cheating on him for sakura. Kabuto: ARG!! SHUT UP!
1. Do you have beds, blankets, and bathrooms? 2. Where is this demented room located and where were each of you guys before you got here?

Kiba: None that Ive seen. Lucifel: He and Gaara stopped fighting a while ago, btw. Zakura: Well, there are bathrooms attached to the swimming pool Itachi: You mean Ive been holding in all the Frappuccinos all this time for NOTHING?! Zakura: Umm Itachi: Never mind! Outta my way!! Kiba: what? He was holding it? Gross Shino: What would you have done? Kiba: Exactly what I did do. I used that potted plant over there. Everyone not otherwise occupied: -disgustKiba: what? When you gotta go, you gotta go. Jiraiya: Yep. Orochimaru: UGH!! Jumps off lapJiraiya: What?! Im a guy! Its what we do! Shino/Oro/Kabu: Bull SHIT!!

Jiraiya: You dont? Shino/Oro/Kabu: NO!!! Jira/Kiba: Weird Itachi: aaah, Im back. Zakura: No more of this nonsense. If I had the ability to pee standing up Id want to show it off too! Kiba: Im starting to like her a little more. Zabuza: Word. Zakura: Oh yeah, Zabuza and Haku, you two havent been doing much, go plan your wedding or something; give the girls some fan service. Haku: Gasp! With all the nail polish I forgot!! Quick! We must make plans!! -Haku pulls Zabuza off to a corner, trailing rainbows and flowers behind himZakura: -smiling- We can move on now. The location of this room is private. Dont think I didnt notice all those Well break you out letters, I give the address and wed have millions of fan girls charging the place! As for me and Sakura, we planned this as an innocent question-answering column and set this all up. Once the door locked it became the prison it is. We had no way of knowing this room was cursed, but Im glad it happened. Evil smile- I never would have realized my full potential otherwise. Orochimaru: -to Itachi- You sense a crazed-psycho villain in the making? Itachi: Oh yeah. Jiraiya: Well, I was trying to get material for my latest novel. Kurenai: Peeping on young women again, you mean? Jiraiya: Nope. Not this time. Kiba: You were peeping on boys? Jiraiya: No!! I was peeping on an older woman!! Kiba: Gross

Jiraiya: Not that much older!! Damn youre all insufferable. Orochimaru: I like that he doesnt even deny peeping anymoreteehee. Jiraiya: Iugh, never mind. Orochimaru: Well, anyway I was sitting in one of my special dramatic sitting-andthinking spots mulling over my dark plans. And since Kabutos busy with the princess, Ill just let you know that he was standing obediently behind as a small tribute to my many elite followers. Itachi: you put a lot of thought into this villain thing dont you? Orochimaru: Hell yes. Its not easy you know. Itachi: I dont put that much thought into it. Orochimaru: Well thats why I have more people afraid of me. Itachi: bull shit. Im just a natural is all. Orochimaru: Are you calling me a FAKE villain!? Itachi: No, never. Im just saying Im crazier. Orochimaru: Im plenty crazy!!! Itachi: Of course you are. At any rate, I was hanging out with Kisame and Deidara. Kiba: Thats it? Just hanging out? No evil plotting? No mass genocide? Itachi: nope. We were playing strip poker, actually. Orochimaru: But you came here fully clothed Itachi: We had just started. Damn shame tooDeidaras pretty sexy when nakedor clothed. Orochimaru: Oh, I do miss Dei-kun. Itachi: Im sure he misses you too. Orochimaru: Really?! Itachi: Ehsure

Orochimaru: Yay!! Zakura: come on people, keep this moving!! Kiba: Oh well, I was looking for Shino actually. Shino: I was taking care of my garden, didnt you think of coming by the house? Kiba: I guess not Shino: What do I see in you? Kiba: My sexiness. Shino: Oh, of course. Rolls eyesKiba: -cuddles next to Shino and look up at him with his big, dark eyes- You dont think Im sexy? Shino: Nope. Totally immuneKiba: -crushedKurenai: I was reading. Jiraiya: Reading what, may I ask? Kurenai: 1,000 ways to kill a man who offends you. Jiraiya: Oh Kurenai: A few dozen of them involve only a skillet. Jiraiya: -gulp- Did I tell you lately how much I respect you? Kurenai: Fuck off. Jiraiya: Yes maam. Haku: Who cares what we were doing before! Were planning a wedding now!! Zabuza: -urg- And besides, we were dead. Haku: But now were going to be married!! Itachi: Yeahwe got that part.

Haku: -big, bright smileItachi: -thinks- Sofuckingcute Gaara: I was with Naruto. Itachi: Oh-ho, and what were you doing with the little fox boy? Gaara: Less than youd think and Id have liked. We hang out more than you imagine. Itachi: Seriously? Gaara: Yeah, were friends Itachi: No, youd seriously want to get in his pants? Gaara: Sure. Either way is cool. Its always been up to him, he knows Im up for anything. Itachi: Excuse my while I use the bathroom again-gagsGaara: -glares-. Lee: I was where I said I wasoh such a sad tale!! If only Gai-sensei had at least been with me!! I can feel my youth draining away in here!! Shikamaru: You and your youth are so troublesome Lee/Kiba: Shikamaru!!! Shikamaru: Yes? Kiba: Well Lee: Ah Shikamaru: -sighs- So troublesomeI cant believe Im stuck in another ridiculous situation like this
Sakura- Why dont you just give up on Sasuke? Itachi, Jiraiya, Orochimaru and everyone else is saying it and now Im saying it. HE IS GAY (and my word is law) Orochimaru- Although you are probably my least favorite character in the series, i still want to know something. Just how long is your tongue? Itachi- I have a dare for you, I dare you to stay away from your Frappiccino machine and not drink any Frappiccino's that come your way for 3 days. Instead you will give them to Haku, cause I want to see him on a sugar high Fangirl 10174

Zakura: Yep, hes definitely gay, thank you for reiterating the exact thing weve already discussed at least twice in every update. Orochimaru: Personally every time I hear it, it still makes me smile. Itachi: Yeah, Im glad Sasuke finally came out. Naruto: Where did Sasuke come out of? Orochimaru: Nejis ass. Whend you get here? Naruto: Just nowI came up through this pool thingit was scarywait, what about Nejis ass? Orochimaru: Sasuke was in it just a minute ago. Naruto: o.O Itachi: More likely Neji was in him. Orochimaru: YeahSasuke is a bit of a catcher Itachi: For sure. Jiraiya: Why do you know these things!? Itachi: Do I have to spell it out? Jiraiya: Noplease dont Itachi: Ok then. Well, Oro, how long is your tongue? Orochimaru: It can grow indefinitely. smirk- But when its at normal length its still like, ten inches or something. Itachi: Damn. Thats hot Orochimaru: I know. I can use it to help you through the next three days if you like. Itachi: Whats the nex -GASP- Zakurado I have to? Zakura: yep. But hey, your frappuccino machine was broken right? Not THAT much of a loss. Haku, will you want the Fraps? Haku: and well have flowers and Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura will be there and we should have it while standing on a lake, oh it will be so romantic! And then well

Zabuza: -is brokenZakura: soooo, onto the next question.

dear sakura did you know that Orochimaru has been fucking with your mom ? I took pictures here [pictures come out] smack him for me will ya? Your friend KISA UCHIHA

Orochimaru: What? Eww!! Id never do an older woman! Zakura: thats not my mom. Orochimaru: See? Zakura: Thats Tsunade. Orochimaru: No its not!! grabs picture- I didnt do that!! looks around at the many staring people- I WAS DRUNK!!! Zakura: Ummdidnt we talk earlier about Tsunades fetish? Orochimaru: oh yeahheh, so she wants to bang me. Thats cool. Zakura: Yeahbut, whats this about being drunk? Orochimaru: Ohyou know, I was just making up illegitimate excuses! Jiraiya: Its actually true. He doesnt get drunk. Itachi: How is that possible? Orochimaru: What can I say? If youre gonna drink with Jiraiya you gotta have high tolerance. Itachi: When were you drinking with Jiraiya? Orochimaru: Ohway back before I left Konoha-wistful sigh-besides I can drink cuz Im a snake. Kiba: The fuck? Orochimaru: I dunnoits some Japanese myth-thing. Shino: Arent we Japanese?

Kiba: No. Were NinjaNinjanese. Shino: riiiight.

HI Sakura (sasuke: MPH) oh, yeah sorry Sasuke. I put tape on his mouth, one sec. (-rip-) (Sasuke: HOLY! OUCH!! Hey, I will stop trying to kill you Itachi if you get me outta here! HELP ME! SHE'S NUTS!) SHUT UP! Gosh... anyway. how is yall? me and Sasuke are doing great (Sasuke: no im NOT!) Yes you Are! (Sasuke: NO I'M-)do you want to see 'mr. tedyofdeath' again? (Sasuke: N-n-no n-n-no-not the- te-tedted-teddy!-cries-)aw. he's so cute! i luvs Sasuke lots! Well, bye bye! sasuke says bye too right? (Sasuke:uh yeah bye -whispers-help...me...) Hilarious Tragedy

Zakura: Is she still at this? We all know Sasuke was banging Neji instead of really being there. Shikamaru: He was? Zakura: Yep. Shikamaru: Kiba: huh? Whats wrong Shikamaru? Shikamaru: nothing. Naruto: Lots is wrong-imagines Neji and Sasuke making out- -twitchNeji: actually, Sasuke did mention he had only escaped for a little while from somewhere. And Kankuro did come and tie him up and take him away Naruto: And you didnt stop him!? Neji: Are you kidding me? Kankuro scares the shit out of me! Gaara: -snicker- He does that sometimeshes really not that bad. Shikamaru: Wait, Sasuke broke out of Hilarious whatevers prison for only a little while and went to you for a quick lay before he was found again? Neji: Yeah, and then when Kankuro showed up I ran away and came here cuz I heard Kurenai and thought it might be safe here. Why? Shikamaru: No reason Gaara: I bet Kankuro made that teddyheh

Zakura: I wanna move on now

Have you ever had the urge to steal Sasuke's shirt? You know the one with the fan symbol? Jiraiya: You know, my teacher actually has the hots for you. . . Our friends and I got together for J-Club and we all posing. We were supposed to call out our favorite character. Well. . .We had several Sakuras, Inos, Hakus, Gaara No sasukes or Narutos, A lot of Tentens One Orchimaru (the guy that sits in the back corner chewing on his pen), And she suddenly yells "Jiraiya". . .Creepy, no? Sincerely, Kyoni

Kiba: Huh? Fan? I thought that was a pokeball Naruto: Yeah me toonow I see why Sasuke got so mad whenever I mention the pokeball on his shirt Zakura: Actually, this one time during training we were practicing water-walking and Naruto broke our concentration and we all fell in. While our clothes were hung up to dry and Sasuke and Naruto fell asleep and for just a minute Iwell, Sakura, took his shirt down and wore it. Sakura: H-hey! That was a secret! Only Kakashi knew! Zakura: oh, suck it up. You were wearing Kabutos shirt earlier Orochimaru: Whoa, hey! When did you change back? Kabuto: Oh I just talked her into giving my shirt backis all Orochimaru: -suspiciousJiraiya: Its not that creepy, I have LOTS of fans! Especially of my wonderful books! Orochimaru: I bet Im the only fan of your ass. Jiraiya: -twitchShikamaru: Whos Tenten? Neji: I dunno. Lee: Shes on our TEAM Neji!! Neji: She is? Lee: Who did you think our third member was? Neji: I thought I was cool enough to count for two.

Lee: -jaw dropGaara: If anyone can count for two people its Lee for being so cute! Everyone: -staresand twitch a littleGaara: ehehe-sits defensively in a cornerHere is another Sasuke plushy with a protector. If anyone except you touch it they will be shocked instantly and be put into a coma. :D Haku and Zabuza: how are you in the fic if you died? Don't get me wrong! You guys are cool! Ero-nin: You may be a perv but you are still human. Here are some muffins. -Hands him muffins- Aksi, why did you become a porn author? Kabuto: You are annoying but here are new glasses. They are totally in style right now ^^ Orochimaru: Lord Orochimaru, Im sorry you are stuck here. Im you loyal servant. I'll do anything just ask. EXCEPT I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING PERVERTED! ~Kori Tatsu

Zakura: So yeah, this chick tried to send you guys a shit load of food but since I didnt feel like looking through it all to see what Id allow I just threw it all out. Everyone: NOO!! Zakura: And Im keeping the plushie. It doesnt zap me cuase I count as Sakura. Orochimaru: What are you gonna do with it? Zakura: Sell it to a fangirl or something Sakura: Hey! Thats not fair! Zakura: Then come get it, princess! Sakura: -scowls and turns awayZakura: Yeah, thats what I thought. Lucifel: And by the way I only picked out four (and only because some of them were short) questions out of the eight. Sorry, didnt have time for all of them. Haku: And well use jutsu to make it snow just like the day we met, and I bet we can get Tsunade-sama to do the ceremony, and Ill need a new kimono Zabuza: -brains have started oozing out his ears-

Itachi: So, basically, we dont know and dont care because Hakus SO cute and Zabuzas SO hot that its worth the confusion to have them here. Jiraiya: Yay! Muffin!! Zakura: How did I miss that? Steals muffin and makes it disintegrateJiraiya: -sniffle- A-anyway, when I was young I used to think wow! Wouldnt it be great if I could make a living off of peeping on girls?! And so, following that dream, I created my current career. Orochimaru: I love a determined man. Jiraiya: -backs awayKabuto: -Looks at glasses- UmmI dont know Sakura: -perking up a little in curiosity- Put them on! Kabuto: -scowls and puts them onSakura: -bluuuuuush- Uh-um, maybe you shouldntuh Kabuto: What? They dont look good do they? Sakura: Oh, well, actually Zakura: They make you look fucking hot, dude. Kabuto: -smirking at Sakura- Really? Sakura: -blush spreads to her ears and she turns awayKabuto: -chucklesOrochimaru: Kidwhats the point if you wont do anything perverted? Seventy-five percent of what my minions are around for is perverted stuff Kimimaro: Only seventy five percent? Kabuto: Kimi! What are you doing here? Kimimaro: I dunno Lucifel: HES SO SMEXY I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM.

Kimimaro: But this place is better than where I was Orochimaru: Oh, Im sorry, did you go to hell? Kimimaro: No, heaven. You would not believe how damn annoying all that singing and laughing gets Zabuza: -snaps back to awareness- Oh, I know! That drove me up a fucking wall!! Haku: Hey! Are you listening to these plans? Zabuza: Of course dear-slumpsKimimaro: right, well, what are you doing here Orochimaru-sama? Withthesewaves vaguely at the group of good peopleOrochimaru: Well, we cant escape or anything, and honestly Im having a good time. Eyes JiraiyaKimimaro: Well, so long as Im not in heaven Orochimaru: Oh, Kimi, I owe you so much for all your loyalty! I promise, before you have to go back Ill make you so full of sin heaven will HAVE to kick you out! Kimimaro: -goes misty-eyed- Orochimaru-Samathank you. Orochimaru: Its the least I can do! Kabuto: -thinks- The longer Orochimaru-sama stays in here the bouncier he getsIm starting to worry Itachi: -snerk- and exactly what sin are you going to fill him with? Orochimaru: -smirkKimimaro: -raises an eyebrowGaara: -walks up to Kimimaro- Yo. Kimimaro: hey. Gaara: Hows things? Kimimaro: You knowdead. Gaara: Ah yeah, sorry about that.

Kimimaro: Hey, I was dying anyway; it was a good way to go. Gaara: So no hard feelings? Kimimaro: None. Gaara: Cool. Naruto: hwa? Shino: Dont think about it; justdont think about it. Naruto: -nodsGaa-chan pls don't put me on the list! im very very-a few hrs l8er of saying very- sorry that i said it coz i ate sugar that time oh heres a peace offering its a frappacino waterfall with a lake! Hope ya like it! Kura-chan do u like Ferraris if u do heres a late x-mas gift an enzo Ferrari! A pink color one hope ya like if not then give it back! Ita-chan do u like ppl pairing u up w/ other guys in naruto? Bye bye yours, SugarHighQueen ps i luv all u guys! Also my lil bro says lee u suck!

Gaara: Bitch, if you think for one second that Im gonna Kurenai: Gaara, keep reading. Gaara: wanna be my best friend? Kiba: Hey! How come Gaara gets to keep that? Zakura: Cuase its fucking awesome. Kiba: no fair. Gaara: whereisitwhereisitwhereisit? Zakura: I turned the pool into the lake Gaara: SQUUEEEEEE starts running offKimimaro: Whats a frappuccino? Gaara: -freezes and then quickly runs back to grab Kimi and pulls him into the room and slams and locks the door behind him-

Orochimaru: Come on Gaara! You cant keep it all to yourself!! Gaara: -muffled through the door- Thats why I brought Kimimaro in with me! Orochimaru: Buuuuut Gaara: Ill let you all in, in a minute, I need to relish this Orochimaru: Oh, fine. Itachi: Nono fair Sakura: Of course I dont get the Ferrari-mumbleZakura: Actually its waiting outside for when we get out. I want it too, yknow. Sakura: for real?! Zakura: Yeah, but I spray-painted it black. Sakura: you think I care?! YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY Zakura: Well at least youve stopped moping momentarily Itachi: So long as Id really screw em I dont mind. Its their fantasies Orochimaru: Sowhat about you and Jiraiya? Itachi: I dont want to hear about your fucked up fantasies. Orochimaru: Actually I hadnt thought about it but now-shivers- I need a cold shower or a hot bed Itachi: Ill see what I can do. Zabuza: -water jutsus on OrochimaruOrochimaru: -sputter-Hey! What was that for!! Zabuza: You said you need a cold shower Orochimaru: -scowlGaara: -through door still- Youre little brother is going on the list!
1: Kurenai, why don't you see very many married kunoichi? Sometimes we see wives who are ninjas, and sometimes we see husbands who are ninjas, but never married to each other.

2: Orochimaru, if you were really such a Jutsu master, wouldn't you know a jutsu that would summon frappachinos? Just outta curiousity. 3: Why don't you guys just order pizza? There's a phone in the corner, the number's 5-5881. Baka. Khellan Rafe

Kurenai: Oh, well, usually if two ninja do marry one of them retires so they can raise the children. Shikamarus mom was a kunoichi but she retired to raise him. And often times ninja marry those who arent other ninja for the sheer purpose of not having to worry about their spouse. Also, married couples are almost never put on the same mission together. Kiba: right, too much bickering. Kurenai: Sometimes I worry about your family life Kiba: Sometimes I worry too Kurenai: Orochimaru: Alas! No! I didnt have the foresight to memorize such a jutsu! Curse my foolishness!! Jiraiya: Its not really that foolish. I mean, when would that come in handy? Orochimaru: Now! Jiraiya: I meant outside of now Orochimaru: It would be awesome! No driving to a freaking Starbucks and paying ten bucks for a damn frappuccino, youd just have to draw out a few bloody symbols and voila! Caffeinated goodness for your sipping pleasure! Itachi: stop! Youre hurting me! Zakura: Hes never gonna last three days Kiba: -gasp! - PIZZA!!!!!!!!!! Shino: Yeahone problem? Thats not enough numbers for a phone number Kiba: -breaks- noooo
Actually, Obito died from being crushed by a boulder before I think Itachi was even born. But nice story anyways! Chibiangelailesa

Itachi: Oh like Im supposed to keep track of the names of all of the hundreds of people I killed that night! Sorry. Gees. Sakura: Itachi, she wasnt even rude about it Itachi: WhatEVER. Everyone: Meanwhile in the pool room: Kimimaro: -pretty much literally bouncing off the wallsWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! This stuff is amazing!!! WOOOO!!!! WHEEEEE!!!! Gaara: -has gone beyond twitching tobuzzing?-hehehehehehehehehehe, yeeeeeah. Sooo, back in the main room:
(Hands Itachi and Gaara each a sampler pack with every frap mix flavor, and a plate of Starbucks pumpkin scones to everybody) Starbucks makes great stuff, coffee or otherwise. My questions: Jiraiya, has Kakashi ever asked to have his book autographed? Kabuto: Are you aware you know the creepiest jutsus around? I mean, how off is it threaten people by waving your heart at them? (I saw it in a music video) Kiba: Why did you, Chouji, and Neji NOT DIE when fighting Orochimaru's groupies (who all succeeded in dying properly, I believe)? avatarjk137

Zakura: I guess these pastries are ok Everyone: YAY!!! -The pool door bursts open and two blurry images, one red, one white, rush around the plate of scones and then back into the room and the door slams againthe scones are goneItachi: Dammit Gaara!! Get you and your sugar-high ass back out here with the damn scones!! Zakura: too late. If hes that hyper its likely theyre already eaten Itachi: no fair Jiraiya: Actually, for Kakashis birthday last year I gave him a full, special-edition autographed box set of all my workshe was so happy he cried a little. Kabuto: And yeahI once killed someone just because they were so disgusted and shocked and terrified they fainted and all I had to do as stab em

Orochimaru: Yeah!! Its not fair that my groupies had to die but you all survived! Its not right! Damn you and your unlikely heroism! Zakura: Actually that bugged me too. It was sooo unrealistic. Shikamaru: how so? I mean, how can it be unrealistic if it really happened? Zakura: Shut up, you. Shikamaru: -rolls eyesHope you missed me, because I'm back! -Muwahaha's-cough-Anyways -Gives Kabuto an icepack- ... That's for your head, the one that's not on your neck.. Ah Anyways... Orochimaru-sama~?... Aishiteru! -Cough- ... Jiraiya? You're awesome, I love you, and your novels Yes, I'm a pervert, I admit it... Be quiet you! -Point!So, are you all having fun? Sanestinsanepersonever

Kabuto: Ugh, I couldve used that a while agothe damage is done nowI guess Ill keep it for future use Sakura: -teasingly- If you keep up your usual attitude youll need it. Kabuto: you bitch Sakura: heehee. Orochimaru: -to Itachi- does it creep you out how well theyre getting along now? Itachi: ayup Orochimaru: -shudders- Anyway, yes, yes, join my clubI have dozens. Jiraiya: Yes! Another loyal reader making my dream reality!! Kurenai: -rolls eyesOro/Zaku and Gaa/Kimi from behind the door: HELL YEAH WERE HAVING FUN!! Everyone else: NO WE ARE NOT!
Happy New Year!! Sorry Lucifel I just had to write this review! Gomen! Sumimasen! Sakura: Imbecile you didn't answer my question, so instead of getting everyone to save you all we are off the kill you and trust me my friends and I are extremely violent. One of them knows how to kill someone with just one touch isn't that just awesome!! Itachi: Tell him now!! Do it!! He can't kill me!! ... Do you want to know why? Sasori is DEAD. Dead as the Third Hokage! Dead as Asuma! Dead as Gaara's dad! Dead as Gaara's uncle! Dead as Itachi's family! Dead as Sasuke's heart!! Get it! Got it! GOod!

Orochimaru: Can you tell me why you used a purple rope to tie your robe? Not a different color. Not black or anything. Purple. Why does everyone else have to wear it too? I mean even Sas-gay was wearing it! Why must you conform the Sound Village?!? P.S. I couldn't find my keys but I sent you all sake so get drunk and be happy and be ready for the coming of the New Year although me being Chinese don't celebrate New Year until sometime in January... P.S.S. Gaara we decided since you don't want to escape we are going to go to your house to raid all of your stuff actually we are typing this from your computer. Bye! Akatsuki's Haruno Sakura

Orochimaru: The akatsuki has a Sakura? Itachi: frappuccinos Orochimaru: Never mind Zakura: Yeah, that would be awesome if I didnt already know a dozen different ways Sakura: I dont know that many! Zakura: you dont but I do. Sakura: HOW!? Zakura: I read different articles than you. While youre reading hair care crap Im reading the deadly moves segment on the next page Kiba: dude, thats just scaryand totally creepyand this is coming from a guy who has sex with a bug-filled kid Shino: -angry twitchItachi: Yeah and? So are Haku, Zabuza and Kimimaro. Death doesnt mean much right now Orochimaru: Its still not like you could tell him Itachi: -makes w sign- Whatever. Gaara still through door- Whoever just ragged on my dead relations is gonna get their ass whooped and their name on the list! Orochimaru: And purples pretty! Thats why! Itachi: See? Im not the only one with a thing for lavender! Kiba: Yeah but youre also gay.

Itachi: The fuck are you talking about? Youre gay too!! Kiba: Hey! Im bi!! Shino: Are you saying you have a problem with being called gay? Kiba: Wellwell no its just not the whole truth and Shino: -snort- whatever. Naruto: Whenwhywas I always the only straight guy in Konoha?! Everyone: -ignoresOrochimaru: Its not conformity! Its appreciation of great style! Itachi: youre lucky youre cute when youre crazy Orochimaru: -smileKiba: D-do we get the sake? Zakura: DAMN RIGHT we get the Sake! Everyone (even Gaara and Kimi who rush out) WOOHOO!!! Zakura: But not until we finish catching up. Everyone: Awwwwww Gaara: dammit! Ohwellthefrappuccinopoolisopennowifyouguyswannacomeinanddrinkandmaybeevenswi minit!!! Orochimaru: -blinblink- Ok, I did not catch a word that came out of this kids mouth. Kimimaro: Hesaidohwellthefrappuccinopoolisopennowifyouguyswannacomeinanddrinkandmaybeev enswiminit!!! Orochimaru: thank you, that helps not at all Kiba: Its ok, Im fluent in sugar-high. He said we can go drink from the Frappucino fountain now. Orochimaru: WELL WHY DIDNT YOU FUCKING SAY SO!?!?!

-Stampede into the pool roomGaara: BeforeIfollowthem:firstofallIdoubtyoucouldhavegottentomyhousesofastsecondIhavedoze nsofsecuritysystemsandshitprotectingmyhousenottomentionKankurooratleastTemariguard ing theplaceandthirdIDONTEVENOWNACOMPUTERYOUSTUPIDBITCHES!!!! Kiba: Gaara thinks youre lying about being at his house. Gaara: Damnstraight rushes back into the pool room-

Ask Sakura 15 We are now broadcasting to you from the side of the frappuccino-filled pool. Everyone somehow got into swimming attire: women in bikinis, men in swim shorts and Jiraiya in a speedo.
Sakura please just accept Sasuke is gay. He surrounded by girls all day. Any straight dude would go crazy (especially after checking you out) Itachi why did your clan because they didn't let paint your toenails. You stupid fucking moron. Someone should beat you to fucking death with your fucking leaders fucking spine you fucking pussy. Sorry had to let some anger out. But your still kinda cool Orochimaru burn in hell Dattebayoh

Kurenai: FOR GOD SAKE JIRAIYA! COVER YOURSELF!! Itachi: He is coveredin body hair Kurenai: -shields eyes- Ive seen some horrible things but that...that is just Orochimaru: SEXY!!!! Kurenai: NO!! Jiraiya: -stands proudly to display himselfKiba: wow Shino: What? Tell me youre not ogling Jiraiyas Kiba: NO!! I was just noticing that Haku really IS a boy Shino: -looks over at shirtless Haku and has to hide blush behind his cowl- Ohoh yeah. Orochimaru: See? This kid even has proper REASON as to why Sasukes gay! Zakura: Yep, the evidence only grows stronger. Sakura: Youre a disgrace to us!

Zakura: No, Im lesbian. Itachi: I am more than kinda cool, I fucking rock!! They were trying to suppress me! I bet they wouldnt have suppressed fucking Sas-gay if he came out!! Zabuza: Bitter are we? Itachi: Of course not Orochimaru: I AM TOO SMEXY TO BURN!! Zakura: -rolls eyes1) Itachi...Where the fuck is Kisame? 2) Chi-kun...HOW THE FUCK can you deal with emoboy? (Sas-gay) 3) Jiriaya!! Please send me every Icha Icha paradise you have ever written and will write!! -Swirls a lock of her midnight blue hair around her finger, puppy pouting. - Pwease?! Akatsuki's Haruno Sakura

Itachi: Not here, thank the gods. Haku: KWAAA!! Theres a shark in the pool!! Itachi: oh no -A real shark jumps out of the poolItachi: phew. Kills shark- Who wants Frapppuccino-flavor shark meat? Everyone: -Disgusted looksItachi: YeahI guess Ill just burn this Zakura: No need. Snaps finger and the thing disintegratesGaara: howdidasharkgetinmyfrappuccino? Kiba: Why was there a shark in a swimming pool? Gaara: IJUSTSAIDTHAT Kiba: I was translating!! Gaara: Whateverdumbmutt Zakura: Dont know, dont care. On with the questions so I can continue enjoying the view. Watches Kurenai bend over to take a drink- meow.

Sakura: -horrorOrochimaru: by screwing him. Itachi: tried-and-true tactics, those. Orochimaru: Damn straight. Jiraiya: Now, now young lady, youll still have top-pay-shakes head- no! Hair has nothing on me! Its all about the rack! Kurenai: -throws skillet-THUNKJiraiya: -falls into pool and starts drowningItachi: Death by frappuccinowhat a way to go. Gaara: IknowhowIwanttodienow Kiba: Thats Gaaras ideal death. Gaara: STOPTRANSLATINGEVERYTHINGISAY!!!! Kiba: No one can understand you! Gaara: Suretheycan! Kimimarocan! Kimimaro: damnstraight. Kiba: fine! Whatever. But when you have something important to say dont expect me to translate for your sorry ass. Zakura: -pulls Jiraiya out of the pool- Now, now, we cant have any deaths going on here. We cant disrupt the story-line after all. And Jiraiya and Orochimaru havent had their steamy sex scene yet Orochimaru: SQUEEE!!!
1. You and Sasuke belong together! -sque- Um... hm... quesiton... oh! If Sasuke ever died or anything, who would you go out with? Come on, say someone! 2. Orochimaru, you're not gay, right? Because I am a fan, and so is my sister, so yeah... -shifty eyes3. If you and Sasuke had many babies, what if your boys have... pink Sasuke HAIR? LOL!! -AHEMAnyway, Please respond! - From Ninja Rikoi, aka hm... Narutard No. 15

Sakura: No one right now! Arg!! Naruto: awwww Zakura: Im betting on a re-bound relationship with Leeonce she accepts Sasukes gay and everything. Naruto: Why Lee?! Lee: No! That will happen naturally and when the time comes! We were meant for each other! Naruto: But why Lee?! Gaara: -crushedZakura: Keep dreaming kid, its cute. Orochimaru: Well, not technically, no. there are a few women Id do. Itachi: Any animals? Orochimaru: ummm Itachi: Are you seriously thinking about this? Orochimaru: Shh! Oh! Kyuubi. Naruto: GAH!! EWWWWWWW!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO Itachi: Youre kidding? Orochimaru: nope! Itachi: I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Gaara: -smacks Naruto- Calm down Naruto! Naruto: -stops and sits twitchingHaku: -comforts Naruto- Its ok. I like you better than Kyuubi. Naruto: -blushblushblushZakura: Youre speaking normally now Gaara?

Gaara: Yeah-looks at Lee sadlyKimimaro: ? Ita/Oro: -Imagine Sasuke with pink hair- teheehee
o yea fink means think, i had my hand in a cast so things went a bit ugly with typing. anyways on with the questions To Itachi who would you rather go with? Ino or Hinata or Neji (WTF?) Dolly2000

Itachi: ooooh, its the totally crazy kid. Orochimaru: We have lot of those Itachi: yeah thats true. And DEFINITELY Neji. Not only was he the only boy listed, hes cute and reminds me of Sasuke a little. Sakura: I didnt just hear that Itachi: I think you did. Neji: -thinks- Am I flattered or disgusted? Eyes Itachis six-pack- Definitely flattered and horny Kimimaro: -sugary twitchHi, I have a question for itachi. Why am i...i mean sasuke so much better, and hotter, and way stronger then you? Also, why do i... i mean sasuke have a way bigger fangirlism then you? 1 more question, how would everyone spell their name without vowels? Mine would be ssk. Do you know who i am? Bye sincerely, Sa... i mean Hillarious Tragedy :):( p.s. if you need another hint, i want to -blank- itachihi,

Itachi: -uncovers blank- Its Sasuke. Zakura: no, really? Kiba: -looks over Itachis shoulder- So it said Koh dear god. Sakura: W-what? Orochimaru: the word was either Screw or Fuck. Itachi: The latter.

Orochimaru: thought so. Naruto: Wheres a ladder? Lee: I dont see one anywhere! Kurenai: -thinks- they cant really be that dense Jiraiya: -thinks- why did I pick such a stupid apprentice? Orochimaru: -thinks- teehee, Narutos just like Jiraiya was when he was young! Zakura: the best part is, were only taking questions from fans, so Sasuke doesnt count. Moving on!
HEY! has anyone seen my sasuke? he ran away with his laptop!wait...THERE HE IS!! (sasuke: what the...Kankuro, why did you have to tell her where i am!?) -squeezes sasuke- YAY!I HAVE MY HOTTIE BACK!(kankuro: oh, HI GAARA! i couldn't find Temari, so i got scared. but, its fun here!) -whispersGaara, your brother is wierd. oh, and never,ever,ever,ever give your brother a bananna nut muffin, got it? that, was the scariest 20 minutes of my life...(sasuke: i can agree with her on that one.) well, TTFN, Hillarious Tragedy

Gaara: YOU GAVE HIM A MUFFIN!? ARE YOU DENSE?! Lee: Oh the atrocities!...what does Kankuro do with muffins? Gaara: -shuddering- Thingshorrible things. Huh, I hope Temaris ok. Zakura: Aaaand, I dont want to hear any more about it.
Sakura-san: 1.Why don't you just learn some cool jutsu so you can BURN OROCHIMARU *glares* and blast a hole through the wall? 2.Have you considered using a power punch on that wall? 3.Can you kill Kabuto-san for me? Yaminah

Sakura: Wouldnt I love too. And we already discovered that nothing can break us out of this room Orochimaru: who CARES?! We have a pool full of frappuccino!! Itachi: -moooooanZakura: Of course she wont kill Kabutoat least not until shes gotten in his pantsif that hasnt happened already. Kabu/Saku: HEY!!

Zakura: juuust makin observations

here are your frappacinos, Itachi-sama and Gaara-san! -hands over frappacinos- I know you had so much... I'm guessing NONE OF YOU will seriously injure/kill Sasgay huh? -sighs- I'll probably get Neji to hurt him... -cackles- I like you and Neji as a couple, Sakura-san... But don't worry, the couple's not that common...and Neji is mine anyway. (Neji: I'll use my eight trigrams on you...stupid woman.) LIKE YOU CAN! XP I AM FOREVER LOYAL TO ITACHI-SAMA! I'll be his servant! -cough- Anyways Itachi-sama, um...here's a little album of naughty Sasuke pictures I managed to get... -snickers at the tied up Naruto in the backgroundOrochi-teme...I HATE YOU! BTW, who's the better fuck toy, Kabuto or Sasgay? -HWG

Gaara: Add em to the fountain. Dumps frappuccinoItachi: -whimpersGaara: -grabs Itachis and dumps itKimimaro: WOOHOO!!! Kabuto: IveIve never seen Kimimaro so hyperor happy, for that matter. Orochimaru: Kinda creepy isnt it? Kabuto: -nod, nodNeji: Since when do I work for some bitch? I wouldnt hurt SasukeI mean, without getting his pants off. Lee: O_o; Neji: What? You didnt know Sasuke and I had a thing going on? Naruto: Sasukes really GAY?! Shikamaru: Wait a minute. How long has this been going on? Neji: On and off for a couple years. I dont mind saying it: Im his slut. Shikamaru: oh. Naruto: hwa? Whats wrong Shikamaru? Shikamaru: nothing.

Naruto: Ah!! Its the girl who tied me up and stole-bluuuush- ano, the stuffEronin leftthere Itachi: You know, Ill buy that just so I dont have to think about the alternative Orochimaru: -nod, nodJiraiya: Hey!! Im not THAT perverted!! Kurenai: Says the man wearing a speedo with all the coverage of a fanny pack. Jiraiya: -blushGaara: -smirking- But Naruto, Ive seen those at your house before Naruto: No you havent! Gaara: Oh yes I have. Naruto: NO! Those must have been other albums! Gaara: the ones of kinky Hinata fanart? Naruto: -pales- you saw those? I meanno! I dont own that!!! Neji: Can I see? Everyone besides Orochimaru and Itachi: -shock and disgustOrochimaru: What are you guys staring at? Itachi: Yeah, its JUST incestand its even only cousins. Rednecks do it all the time. Lee: Rednecks? Itachi: People like Kibas family. Kiba: HEY!! Orochimaru: anyway, its your funeral, and your name Im putting on the list. Sasuke, Id have to say. But honestly, Kimimaro was always the favorite. Kimimaro: HAHA! EatthatKabuto! Kiba: -To Kabuto- Hes shoving it in your face.

Kabuto: I know. Kiba: God, no one appreciates my skills

Yo, many stupid questions upon you... Why hasn't one of you came up with a male version with the sexy technique? i mean seriously now... Itachi... could you smake Oro over the head with an empty frapaccino crate or something... he bleeds smug i think... And who wants a cookie?

Zakura: Naruto. Naruto: huh? Yeah? Zakura: -super serious tone- Teach me the sexy technique. Naruto: Huh? But Why Zakura: DO IT. Naruto: gah! Ok! They go offOrochimaru: Oh please, who would be stupid enough to -THUDZabuza: Wowhe does. Haku: Kwa! Why would you do that?! Zabuza: -shrugs- Just out of curiosity Kiba/Lee/Jiraiya/Naruto/Haku/Kimi: OOOOOOH!!! ME! ME!! ME!!!
Oh, right! Am I the only one that thinks Sakura and Kabuto look kinda cute together? *snicker* Who you goin out with, Kurenai? If no one, who you got your eye on? Much Respect, Khellan Rafe

Oro/Zaku/Haku: NO! Naru/Lee: YES!!!! Sakura: Ewwthats just sick and wrong. Kabuto: bleh Orochimaru: Methinks thou doth protest too little.

Kabuto: Thats not the quote Orochimaru: Im not allowed to modify Shakespeare now? Jiraiya: Dude, if quoting/tweaking Shakespeare became illegal, like, everyone in the WORLD would be thrown in jail Orochimaru: Thats true. But the way you said that statement made you sound remarkable high Jiraiya: Maybe I am? Orochimaru: Dont you know? Jiraiya: Not anymore Kurenai: Right, because its totally your business who Im going out with. Zakura: I am busy getting the damn jutsu learned, dont make me come over there and force an answer out of you!! Kurenai: -sigh- fine-mumblesItachi: Cmon, Kurenai Kurenai: Your mom. Itachi: Thats mature, and shes dead. Zakura: So youre lesbian!? YES!!! Kurenai: NO! Godammit Im not going out with anyone! Zakura: W00T! Lesbian! Itachi: So who you got your eye on? Kurenai: ..Gai. Everyone: WHAAAAAAAT?! Kurenai: what?! Hes a strong, funny, sexy man!! Jiraiya: Im shocked and appalled.

Kurenai: Much like the world when it saw you in a speedo. Itachi: buuurn. Orochimaru: You know that whole, much respect thing? YeahI dont think hes gonna mean it anymore. Kurenai: Oh shut up you.
First, the questions: 1) Haku-chan, why are you so damn wonderful? 2) Gaara-sama, if I gave you frappacinos (spelled horribly wrong) would you kill some people for me? 3) Kurenai-senpai- is Anko single? If she is, would you tell her Im madly in love with her? ANY FOLLOWING QUESTIONS NEED NOT BE ANSWERED, I JUST WANTED TO RAMBLE BECAUSE ITS 4:36 AM AND I DUN WANNA GO TO BED. SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK. And now that thats out of the way, I should probably shut up. But I dont care. Because I love you all in varying degrees of lurffleness. The only people I dont really like is...erm... probably Gaaras daddeh, Hakus daddeh, Sasuke (sorry, Sakura-san, hes just a loser without proper priorities), and Yashamaru. Fortunately theyre all dead besides Sasuke. Oh well. Kabuto, you rule even if your name means beetle. Lee is simply awesome. Shino... I actually sort of dont like you because I think youre kind of arrogant, but thats just me being picky. Is Temari a lesbian? Because if shes not, thats me depressed. Is Neji gay? He should be. Gaara should love him, because theyd be pure beauty together. I happen to like Kankuros makeup!! Kakashi and Iruka should get married. Itachi-sama, I really think I should hate you. But- I dont. Orochimaru... damn there are a lot of haters out there!! (I didnt just say that...) I bet you could do GREAT things with that tongue. I would give you my soul for porn, but I dont have it anymore, someone else owns it now. Hinata should be here, shes adorable. Zabuza...you should have realized you loved Haku before you got killed. Make very sure that you make up for it now. Kimimaros not here...*whimpers* I would join the Akatsuki, if I could, my friend and I. By now, you probably think Im too nuts. Oh well. This letters too long, isnt it? Sorry. Im very bored. Oh, did I mention my friends and I are all going to dress up as you guys for Halloween? (I know its a long way off, humor me). The friend whos going as Orochimaru happens to love you, Orochi, so very much. Shes not your typical fangirl...shes twisted, demented, vampiric, and scary. Her name is Ashes and she hates it when people compare you to Michael Jackson. Most of my other friends are fans. Brianna is obsessed with Kakashi and Shikamaru, and Marvealle adores Gaara, but not enough to stalk him. Just loves him. (I guess its because she looks like him...pale, with fluffy red hair). Sadly, so does her boyfriend. Sand Coffin him for me? Hes freaky and in my way. Kabuto, you mentioned in Ch. eleven that youve never gotten gifts before...unfortunately, I dont know what to get you...so I got you a set of ribbons. Why? Because I have long hair too and I like to put ribbons in it. If you dont like it, just say so. I wont get offended and Ill replace it with something I do want. Get a life, you say? A life? That sounds positively great...what site can I download that from?? Its now 5 AM. Its January third! Happy late New Year, even if all its been is sucky so far. I wish I could join you guys in where ever it is you are. It looks like oodles of fun, mostly because Im perverted. Too bad you dont have the swimming pool anymore, I love water. Well, its 5:21 AM now and I need to at least pretend Im asleep when my family gets up. Love, donuts, cheese and sammiches, Arashi of the Red Scarf. P.S. this letter is 631 words long.

Everyone: -twitch- wtf? Kurenai: WHY wasnt this edited? Zakura/Lucifel: BECAUSE ITS FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!! Lucifel: The parts in bold are the parts Im gonna reference so you might wanna look at em. Gaara: I think Im in love a little.

Itachi: Seriously? Gaara: Yeah, shes like, completely in love with me but not in that annoying please fuck me I wanna be your servant way. Oro/Ita: Thats annoying? Orochimaru: Shit, I just though it was cute. Itachi: Nothing like bitches to stroke your ego all day Gaara: -rolls eyes- AND shes ragging on the bastards who hurt me. Plus she doesnt hate on Kankuro and isin love withTemari? Damn. Jiraiya: YAY! KINKY LESBIANS!! Kurenai: -throws skilletJiraiya: -dodges- aha! I have learned my lesson woman! Skillet: -boomerangs back and hits Jira from behindJiraiya: -moaning from the floor- I still have much to learn. Zabuza: So, why ask Haku what makes him so wonderful when I can tell you even better? Haku: -giggleZabuza: Hes gorgeous, sweet, innocent, kind to and understanding of me on a level no one else could be, hes completely willing to do anything for me Everyone: Awwww. Zabuza: And is a fucking AMAZING lay. Everyone: =O Zabuza: What? Haku: -blushing- teehee. Gaara: For you, sure. As long as I dont know em personally and theyd be either an easy kill or a fun fight. Just dump em in with the rest

Itachi: Of your kills? Gaara: No, into the frap fountain. Itachi: You put CORPSES in the frap fountain? Gaara: Are you ok? Itachi: Maaaaybe. Gaara: Kurenai: Actually, yes, Anko is single. And shes actually pretty loose so if nothing else you have a shot of getting in bed with her. Jiraiya; REALLY?! Ankos a slut? Kurenai: No, just not picky. And also, shes lesbian. Jiraiya: Aw dammit. Zakura: HEY! Im single too!! Gaara: And I think Temaris bi. Actually, positive. She was talking after the chunin exams about asking Tenten out Neji: Whos Tenten? Lee: Didnt we already go over that?! Neji: Yeah but I forget Lee: -twitch- HOW?! Neji; It probably wasnt important enough for my lovely ears to hear Lee: -shockGaara: Love Neji, No. Fuck him, yes. Neji: Wanna go to the back? Gestures doorItachi: Technically thats the front. Neji: Whatever.

Gaara: And no, not now. Sorry. Neji: Eh, well, whenever you feel like it. Lee: WHEN DID YOU BECOME A SLUT?! Neji: When WASNT I a slut? I have issues, man, Ive got to deal with em Itachi: And is she kidding? Too nuts? Thats the whole freaking POINT of the Akatsuki! I mean our whole damn plot is to -SPOILER BLOKAGE- Yes, Lucifel really knows their plot, but I dont wanna ruin it for anyoneItachi: I mean, COME ON. Orochimaru: SO youll let her join? Itachi: Fuck no. Kabuto: So. Sakura: no! Keep em! Theyre cute. Kabuto: -hands her the ribbons- all yours. Sakura: yay! Ties them in Kabutos hairKabuto: -_- Oh joy. Haku: ME NEXT! ME NEXT! Naru/Lee/Kiba/Saku/Shika/Jira/Shin/Zaku/LUCIFEL: NONONONONONONONONO!!! KAKASHI/IRUKA MUST NEVER BE!!! NEVERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! Orochimaru: I really dont care. Anyone can fuck anyone and if theyre even a little sexy and Im watching, Ill be happy. Itachi: You are WAY too horny. Orochimaru: You really think so? Itachi: Nah.
Dear Sakura, This question is for Kabuto, Will you please go out with me! Please! ~Rose P.S. I'm not a crazed obsessed fangirl...maybe...

Kabuto: Uhmhmm, lemme think. think, thinkNOPE. Sakura: You dont have be so cruel, asshole. Kabuto: Yes I do. Zakura: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I CAN NOW SEXY-JUTSU!! Gaara: Narutowhat have you done? Naruto: I-Im sorryI didnt realize what I was creating Zakura: -sexy jutsusKurenai/Sakura: -NOSEBLEEDJiraiya: Oh, if thats not sweet payback nothing is Itachi: well damn, Sakura makes a pretty hot guy. Zakura: Why thank you. Orochimaru: Wanna do it? Zakura: -poofs back- NO! Orochimaru: Awww. Zakura: So, Kurenaiwhatd you think? Kurenai: Youre sick and perverted and the male you is sexy. Zakura: -happy smirk(Hands over 5lbs of baby spring lettice mix; .5lbs each of water cress, sliced almonds, mandarin oranges, cucumber slicesgreen peper and mushroom slices; 5 lbs of grilled shredded chicken; plastic forks and bowls and assorted salad dressing) Sakura it sucks to love someone and have them not be the best for you "hugs" you can't help who you love, only what you do about it. You will be "strong and beautifull." Anyway What was going on in the chummin exams when you told Ino you would show her hell? It was a great deffense... can it be used offensively? kazster

Kabuto: -gasp- please let me keep the salad!!

Zakura: Sure whatever, what would you use it for? Kabuto: EATING! Zaku/Kiba/Naru: GROSS. Sakura: Aww, this guys is so sweet. Kabuto: Aww, this guys is so delusional. Sakura: Shut up, you. Kabuto: Make me. Sakura: Maybe I will. Orochimaru: Ok, NO! You two flirting is CREEPY!! Kabu/Saku: What?! NO! Were not flirting!! Itachi: Bull shit. Would Naruto and Lee be looking all depressed if you werent? Naru/Lee: -crushedSakura: hmpf. Zakura: Not yet, but Im sure as hell trying it as soon as we get out.
Hi, me sasuke. If you didn't figure out i am ssk, you're all worthless...ESPECIALLY YOU ITACHI!-attempts to kill itachi--fails-Damn!-sulks in cornerHey, me your fave H T! sorry, sasuke was bored. but um, itachi, your pretty lucky to be there. i made the mistake of letting him train in my room. he almost broke through my wall twice! and um (kankuro: oh, more muffins!) No Kankuro dont!(kankuro:-eats muffin- ...SQUUE!) RUN!(Sasuke: NOT AGAIN!!) does any of you peoples have coca cola? we need it, BAD!! Well, TTFN from H T and Sasuke

Itachi: Ahh, what would this story be without H T? Orochimaru: A lot less annoying? Sakura: Quitepoor Sasuke. Lucifel: I like hilarious Tragedy! You guys suck! Lee: Gah! I do not! Gaara: Do not what?

Lee: Suck! Gaara: -mumbles- Aint that the sad truth Lee: W-what? Gaara: Oh, ah nothing Itachi: Anyway, I better find a way to console my brother Orochimaru: Or Ill just screw him. Itachi: Same thing. Jiraiya: What do you mean by that? Itachi: Im gonna have to outright say it sooner or later, shall I now? Jiraiya: Pleasespare me a little longer. Itachi: Ok then. Gaara: SHIT!! Kankuros on a muffin-rage again!! We need to save them! Itachi: Are you for serious? Gaara: YES!! Itachi: omg.
Itachi and gaara should fill the empty pool with frappachino. Saskuretsu

Itachi: WHY?! Why do they torment me?! Gaara: We didand this is the happiest time of my entire life. Forgets saving Sasuke and H. T. in order to be happy about frappucinos...Shino has hazel eyes...don't ask To Kurenai-san:How have you survived this long? Haku-san:*blinks* er...can I have one of your needels? Sakura-san: How come ur not knocked out on the floor foaming from the mouth already? Whatthehellwasithinkin

Shino: When did I say otherwise? Orochimaru: Chapter eight.

Shino: I dont remember that Orochimaru: -ahem-Shino: -Looks up from album- huh? Oh. Black. Goes back to it- Shino: oh please, I was looking at an album of Sasuke in drag. I wasnt paying attention! I though they were asking my favorite color or something. Kiba: The truth is, he wears sunglasses so much even HE forgets the color of him eyes Shino: thats not true! Kiba: -raises eyebrowsShino: Okits true. Kurenai: -looking twitchily at Shino- I honestly dont know. Jiraiya: Shes been living off of my sexiness. -THUNKOrochimaru: -looking at crumpled Jiraiya- Youre gonna give him brain damage... Kurenai: If he had a brain to damage. Orochimaru: True. Haku: Why do you want a needle? Shino: drug addict, probably. Orochimaru: You would know. Shino: no I wouldnt. If I put any crap directly into my veins Id kill the bugs. Kiba: But in his lungs is ok. Shino: Right-remembers Kurenai- wait, NO! Kurenai: you are in SO much trouble when we get out of here. Sakura: Pure luckprobably.
Why don't you use Inner Sakura more often? I mean, what's the point of her if she's not a jutsu?

Zakura: Oh, I was always just a split personality. Im pretty damn awesome though, aint I? Orochimaru: Hell yeah.
Bec-Yo...sakura...Uh...what was i gonna ask you...oh!...Sakura why do you suck so much? Bel-Hey!sakura is coler then your face. Bec-Fuck you loser. John-Orochimaru...Do you wear make-up? Bec-No fucking dur he wears make-up John-Shut-up! John-I was asking him. Bec-...why...orochimaru is stupid.. Bel-ITS ITACHI! Bec-WTF He's GAY. Bel-...Oh. HinataXNaruto9403

Saku/Lee/Naru: I (sakura) dont (doesnt) suck!!!! Kabuto: Nah, shes too much of a prude. Gaara: Already done that joke. Kabuto: Dammit. Sakura: It wouldnt take much to be cooler than your face-grumbleOrochimaru: Actually, I dont. Im naturally ridiculously pale and the purple eye-liner is tattooed on. Jiraiya: Heh, hes like the ultimate Kiss fan. Orochimaru: -glares- Burn fucker Jiraiya: Sorry. Orochimaru: -snuggles- Aww, its ok. <3 Jiraiya: -twitchItachi: I can not even follow that conversation Orochimaru: now you know how our readers feel

Itachi: We have readers? Orochimaru: I dont think sowhy? Itachi: wtf?

Okay i have dares for everyone! Oro- OMG! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR TOUNGE AND YOUR THEME SONG! You can have my soul and everything! oh yeah almost forgot... (hands over never-before seen pics of Sasuke...in a speedo) Your dare is to lick Kabuto's chest you smexy man! Jiraiya- um...oh...(evil grin) CUT YOUR HAIR TO GAARA'S LENGTH! MUAHAHAHA! Haku- hee...hee! Dress up like a bunny! Kurenai- did you pick dare or truth? Well Im doing dare for you so ha! Okay i dare you to...touch Shino's chest! Since he's your student it'll make it creepier! Zabuza- Pretend that you are Inuyasha just for a second... Kiba- take off your jacket...my friend is drooling beside me as i type this... Orochimaru-sama let me know if you want more pics of Sasuke. I have a reliable source... anything for you!!

Jiraiya: B-but we already DID dares Zakura: Do I look like I care? Jiraiya: yes? Zakura: Get your damn eyesight checked. At least I cut out some Jiraiya: -whimperOrochimaru: Aw, thanks. Licks Kabutos chest from across the poolSakura: O.o EWWWWW!!!! Kabuto: -blushKimimaro: I though I was your favorite!! Orochimaru: -licks Kimi too- You are. Kimimaro: :3 Orochimaru: OOH!! You can see his cute little package! Itachi: Lemmesee! Lemmesee!

Ita/Oro: -giggle over the picturesJiraiya: I cant! I refuse! -SNIPZakura: Too late. Holds up Jiraiyas cut hairJiraiya: NOOOOO!!! Orochimaru: Oh damn, now only Tsunade has long hair out of us three. Meanwhile: Tsunade: -sneezes while trimming her hair and slips- O.O NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Back in the room: Haku: -is in a bunny costume. - Teehee! Its like Halloween! Zabuza: -leaning in- Do you want trick or treat? Haku: -giggle- both. Zabuza: -dirty smileKurenai: -pokes Shinos chest- And? Kiba: -jealousZabuza: -looks up from Haku- What do you think I do EVERY FREAKING TIME I swing my sword? Gaara: Are you serious? Zabuza: Damn straight! Everyone: Kiba: Ummso long as you dont use it to wipe up the drool-takes off hoodieShino: -wavers in his resolve not to jump Kiba until Kiba apologizes for being meanSakura: Oh wowI mean, uh Lee: You look much more youthful!!

Kiba: Greeeeat Orochimaru: If you have any of him as a cat-boy, thatd be great! Itachi: Oooh, hell yeah! Naruto: Nooo!! Yaoi is bad enough, but bestiality! Itachi: Dont pretend like Kyuubi doesnt fuck your brain. Naruto: o.O
1: Sakura-pyon, why do you think gaara likes you?? AND NO REFUSING GAARA, I SAW U EYEING HER!! 2: gaara, if you and Sakura dont hit it off, WILL U BE MY BF?!?! PLZ!! (gives him a teddy) 3:Sakura, If Sasuke-kun did turn out gay, wich i hope he doesnt, would you think baout gaara? They are similar!! and hes REALLY cute as a chibi!! 4:itachi-kun!! I LUV U!! anyway, If someone gave you a free frap when ever you wanted one, would you do Sakura?!?!IM SRRY SAKURA-PYON!! I HAD TO ASK!!

Sakura: -gagZakura: Well, maybe me because Im so badassedly awesome. Gaara: No! This kids mistaken! You were probably just standing next to Lee or something! Gasps, claps hand over mouth and goes to drown his embarrassment in more frappuccinoItachi: I doubt Gaara will be your bfhes already got one after all. Gaara: -moping- besidesIm not loveable or anything-goes to a cornerOrochimaru: Uh-oh, somethings wrong with Gaara. Naruto: OhIll talk to him. Orochimaru: No, let Kimimaro do it. Kimimaro: What?! Why me? Orochimaru: Because he probably wont tell Naruto anything because Naruto knows everyone else to well. Youre an unrelated party. Kimimaro: But I dont know how to give advice or anything!

Orochimaru: Doesnt matter, let him talk. He never talks, Im sure hed appreciate it if someone let him. Naruto: I let him talk Orochimaru: You dont count. Naruto: Why not?! Orochimaru: You just dont, now, Kimi, off with you. Kimimaro: -warily- Ok Sakura: What is all this bull about me and Gaara? Itachi: Orange you glad they didnt say Lee or Naruto? Sakura: Wtf? Itachi: Bad parody of a jokeplease continue. Sakura: well, anyway, Gaaras definitely not my typesorry. Zakura: Too bad hes not a chick, hes intriguing. Itachi: And to answer my questionNO WAY IN HELL!! Moving on! Zakura: Hey! Im the bitch in charge! Moving on!
Kiba good news i saved Akamaru from the clutches of those girls! He is here with me and no ribbons! Here take him he misses you! (hands over Akamaru)But i also have bad news...he is acting like a female dog i'm sorry. But bring him back to normal! And rescue team is on pause right now due to traffic. But they'll be here! someday... and Gaara since you love bears here (hands over bear that looked like his old one) bought it for you. Itachi i bought you Tresseme! Like it? oh and can't forget nail polish! Orochimaru-sama! I brought you ten albulms of never before seen pics of Sasuke! Can i be your slave! Or at least lick me! Kabuto- um...i brought you skittles? Jiraiya: I like you for two reasons only: 1. You're funny when Naruto transformes into a girl. 2. ? Uh...your a sennin? That's it! That i like you that's it! No gifts other than that! Kurenai- Chocolate! woman can never have enough! am i right sister? Zabuza- The movie 'Chainsaw Massacre' Haku- A VERY big hug! ek! Shino- a caterpillar? um... Sakura- A letter from Sasuke. DO NOT LET OTHER PEOPLE READ IT! well accept for Orochimaru-sama of course. Kabuto oh i wanted to ask. What's with the pony tail? I'd think you were hot if you cut it off. Geez you're weird. anyway bye again! Starfaya967

Kiba: Ohoh thank godAkamaru Shino: Where is he? Zakura: At Kibas house. We dont want doggy messes all over the place. Kiba: Buthes house-trained Zakura: I dont care. Kiba: -mopeGaara: -takes bear and snuggles it, sniffling into itKimimaro: -walks up- -sits- Itachi: SQUEEE!! Hair care! Nail polish!! YAY!!! We can finish doing our nails now!! Haku/Oro/Ita: -go to a corner to put on nail polishOrochimaru: OOOH!! Yay!! Come look with me Itachi! -Starfaya, you will be feeling something wet on your tummy aboutnowKabuto: I dont eat candy. Hands to SakuraSakura: Um, I dont really want them either Haku: YEE! Skittles! Runs over, grabs them, thanks Sakura, and dashes back to the nail-painting partyJiraiya: Why do so many people not like me?! I have more haters than Itachi! Itachi: Maybe you should be sexy. Sticks out tongueJiraiya: But I am! Shows off Speedo-People die in horror, no one special, just random people, everyone else throws upKurenai: Thank god for chocolate to help the trauma Itachi: Can I Kurenai: GRRRRRR

Zabuza: W00T! Gratuitous violence!! We gotta watch it! Zakura: yeah, yeah, in a bit Haku: Yay! I got hugged!! Everyone: Socute Shino: -caterpillar crawl on the edge of his glasses- Cool. Sakura: WOW!! YAAAY!! The letter: Hey Sakura. Im in love with a man, fucking Neji, and Orochimarus sex-slave. Please, please, PLEASE dont try to save me. Ill like you more if you dont. Bye, Sasuke Orochimaru: -snerrrrkSakura: -twitch, twitchKabuto: you ok? Sakura: F-fine-crumples paperOrochimaru: at any rate, I think Kabutos ponytail is cute. Kabuto: And thus, I keep it.
HI *waves* Orochimaru and Itachi, why don't you two get together? YOu're both psychopaths...! I laugh at you all...and...BYE *waves* Sharingan Princess

Everyone: -waves backItachi: Why did we just do that? Kurenai: I dont know, and dont careI have chocolate Itachi: Orochimaru: Itachi, the princess brings up a very good point.

Itachi; Oh, she does, we cant really argue with that can we? Orochimaru: Definitely not. To the front room? Itachi: Indeed. -They march offEveryone: Kabuto: HEY!! Jiraiya: -shuddersShino: And the worst part is, theyll both be imagining Sasuke in a dress. Jira/Naru: DONT SAY THAT!!! Neji: But Im sure its true! Jiraiya: -plugs ears- I dont CARE!! Naruto: I gotta wash my brain
How come you vowed to become stronger after the Chuunin exams, but then didn't get off your sorry ass until after the Sasame arc? Seriously, you can't afford to procrastinate in trying to be a better ninja. Unlucky Amulet

Kiba: You had a whole story arc about Sesame seeds? Sakura; NO! Sasame was the name of a girl whom we had to help out. But that never happened. It was filler. Ignore it. I really went straight to Tsunade. I would never procrastinate. Zakura: Except about telling people how she feels. Sakura: But Sasuke always knew! Zakura: -eyes Kabuto- Ok, Sakura, whatever makes you happy Sakura: ? Zakura: Anyway, thats ittime to get drunk and watch chainsaw massacre. One Last Note from the Author on This Obnoxiously Long Update Even Though youre Probably Sick of This By Now.

OH MY GOD IM CAUGHT UP!!!!!! ISNT IT AMAZING?! Now, I know by the time you read this, Ill probably have already gotten a lot of reviews for chapter 13 and 14, but thats cool. Ill still be caught up at that point. So, Im taking editing very seriously. Ignoring repeated questions (unless I can make a joke out of it) and cutting out excess of letters, (unless, like the super-long one, I really like it. Of course, I dont encourage long letters. At ALL. Ill only post long ones if they make me laugh, really loud. Thanks Arashi) really helped me stay focused and enjoy writing this. Also, new schedule: Im gonna update every weekend, answering as many questions has I got that week regardless of if its two or twenty. (So YOU dictate the length of updates) I currently dont have a problem with where its going, but Im really paranoid about it getting stale. If anyone has some ideas on how to keep it fresh and exciting Id love to hear them. Im already adding a bit more plot, which will be explored thoroughly in coming chapters. Ok, lastly I love you all to death and hope this almost month-long hiatus hasnt made me loose too many fans. I would like to make direct thanks to everyone who has followed and reviewed this story, and without playing favorites, Id especially like to thank I Have an Alter Ego, Khelen Rafe, Kryah, Hilarious Tragedy, Sarafina the Ninja Goddess, Whatthehellwasithinkin, Starfaya967, and Hilarious Tragedy, for making me laugh when I read your reviews which keeps me able to make you guys laugh, and being supportive when I took my break, but hounding me to continue so I know someones enjoying my story. And special thanks to Torn Yorick, for being so freaking hilariously inspiring. With out T.Y. there would be no Ask Sakura. Give her a hug. I cant believe Ive only been writing this forless than a month. I hope you guys stick with me to the end. My goal is to make this last for a year, please help me pull through with it! Ill see you next weekend!!!

Ask Sakura 16 A list of those currently captured: Sakura Zakura Orochimaru Itachi Kabuto Jiraiya Kiba Shino Kurenai Haku Zabuza Gaara Lee Neji Naruto Kimimaro Shikamaru Now, on with the show: The scene: Setting up the party Zakura: Dammit! This wasnt supposed to start until we were all wasted! Sakura: Oh well, too late now. Haku, take a break from planning and set up while Z and I start answering more questions. Haku: Oh, ok!! Bounces over and starts setting up tablesZabuza: Oh thank god Zakura: Since when are we co-hosts? Sakura: Lets just get on with it, ne? Zakura: Whatever, bitch, but Ive still got final say.

Ita/Oro: -Come back in looking flushed and satisfiedJira/Naru: -twitch1) Lucifel of I should call you Lucifer for your doing to these homo's and 3 regular people. Add Neji in the parody that will make interesting 2)inner Sakura why are you a violent bitch I mean regular Sakura's cool but you need to take some friken drugs to calm you down 3)Sakura how did you end up in a room controlled by a yaoi fan girl. Would you rape Sasuke if you desperate enough and go out with Itachi to possibly maybe make Sasuke jealous. Or do what most girls do and put a mind control device on him. Stop acting so like a good person and adjust to the perverted atmosphere. Hold on the fanboys are starting the war to get you out charge! Saskuretsu

Lucifel: Im Lucifel, for sure. The fallen one before he/she fell. Remember it, bitches. Bwuhahahah Lee: Such anevilvoice Naruto: gah!! Theres one here too?! Sakura: You can hear her too Naruto? Naruto: -vigorous noddingLee: This must be a sign, Sakura-san!! Were all attuned to the same thing! We are destined for each other! Naruto: All three of us? Lee: um Sakura: You know were all probably just crazy Kabuto: -nodsSakura: -smacks (gently)Zakura: Im on drugs all the time. Jiraiya: Weed doesnt count. Zakura: Oh Sakura: You cant be on weed! I never smoke! Zakura: thats what you think. Anyway, were killing this bitch when we get out.

Sakura: No! Hes been overall really nice and supportive! Zakura: Nope, hes dying. Sakura: -_Lee: NeSakura. Youre doing better now? Sakura: Oh, yeah, Im doing ok. I realized with all her talking Zakura really doesnt know anything about my real emotions. She cant mess with MY head. Zakura: What about the letter Sasuke sent you? Sakura: It wasforged? Zakura: Yeah sure Kiba: I wanna know who this guy hes in love with is. Ita/Oro/Neji: Me. Shikamaru: -scoffs- So troublesome Jiraiya: But he put Orochimaru and Neji in there in a different way. Itachi: So its me. Jira/Kabu/Kiba/Naru/Lee/Saku: YOURE HIS BROTHER!! Itachi: Aaaaaand? Sakura: Anyway, about Lucifel. I just wanted somebody to get this out to my fansif I had known Lucifels true intentions Kurenai: Who is this Lucifel person? Lee/Naru: The voice!! Sakura: -nods- She came to me while I was reading Inos column and said she could help me try to fight back and get more fans butI didnt knowDamn you Lucifel!! Lucifel: Yeah. Kind of the queen of the damned. Lee: At least this time we understand who the voice is Naruto: I dont care! Its still creepy! We gotta find her!

Lee: Yosh! -They start searching, in a comically ridiculous manner, bouncing around and making zipping sounds, yknowSakura: To address the last question; No! I have higher standards than the rest of the people in this room! Kurenai: Ahem. Sakura: And Kurenai. I wouldnt do any of that! Zakura: But I have the mind-controlling device ready and everything Sakura: -sweat drop- R-really? Zakura: Hah! You see? You DO have a perverted side to you! Sakura: Yes! And its YOU! Zakura: thats a good point.
Itachi: Why did you fuck Sasuke? Sakura: Why don't you just get with Itachi? He is hot and he is Sasuke's older brother making him better! He has more everything. Boredwithlifeandlove

Sakura: but you didnt Itachi: hmm? Jiraiya: You didntdid you? Itachi: Oh, the question. Well, because hes so irresistibly adorable and cute especially when Im pinning him down in an alleyway and hes trying to break free but eventually succumbs to me and lets me have my way with him. He really likes it in the end, always comes first. Sakura: -HORROROrochimaru: mmmm, I love it when he struggles. Jiraiya: But you havent actually fucked him Itachi: -rolls eyes- of course not Jiraiya: -phew-

Sakura: Itachis WAY too perverted for me! Zakura: If he was a girl, Id totally do him. Sakura: NO!! Zakura: YES!
Orochimaru: Was Sasuke ever on top? Have you ever considered a SasuOroKabu threesome? Ugh...I can't believe you have a club called Orochi's Bitches!! Creepy... You manwhore!! First Kabuto, then Sasuke, and then Jiraiya?! Shame. Kabuto: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU OROCHIMARU'S BITCH?!?!?!?! I know you like Sakura. -raises eyebrows suggestivelyHaku: What's the theme for the wedding? Can I get an invite? Naruto: Sasuke on top, or you on top? -Glint- Because a fellow schoolmate of mine (who I must mention is a SasuNaru fangirl) was telling me about 'details' involving candle wax, kunais, blood, and fingers and yeah... Neji: I knew it!! I knew you liked Sasuke! Is Sasuke on top? Goodbye! -Grin-HWG

Orochimaru: Never. He was BORN for uke. Itachi: -nods in agreementNeji: seriously? Hes usually on top of me. Orochimaru: Must be why he likes fucking you. Makes him feels lesswhimpy. Zakura: Hey! No jumping questions! Sakura: I would much rather get this over with quicklyjust do whatever. Zakura: Damn you! Im the boss!!! Sakura: Fine! Lets just move ON! Kabuto: What is this motherfucker on about? Im completely in love with Orochimaru Kimimaro: -glances over at Kabuto but keeps sitting next to the mopey GaaraZakura: Ne, Haku! Whats your weddings theme?! Haku: Snow!!! :3 Zakura: Figures

Haku: And Bunnies!!! Zabuza: Haku Haku: Im kidding, Zabuza-san. Kisses ZabuzaZabuza: -relievedand turned onHaku: -while Zabuza starts holding him and kissing him- and of COURSE you can come to the wedding. You may not be planning it, but all the fans are welcome! Zabuza: -twitch- What? Naruto: -reads- I didnt want to know that!! NASTY!! Im straight I tell you! STRAIGHT!! Ill screw around with Sasuke when Ero-sennin stops peeping on young girls!! Shikamaru: At least someone isnt in Sasukes pants Itachi: Dont feel bad if you havent gotten any Sasuke lovin yet. Neither has Sakura! Sakura: So?! Im waiting until he comes for me! Orochimaru: He comes for me every night. Itachi: Nice. High fivesZakura: As much as I would LOVE to hear about your many disgusting manly escapades, -gags- were going on to the next question.
DAMMIT SASUKE! RUN AWAY AGAIN AND I WILL KILL YOU! sasuke: one, i would LOVE to see you try. two, why am i still here? um, oh yeah. i let you go out once a week. sasuke: ... if i left i would be out every day. well, yeah, but i got rid of my doors and windows! sasuke: oh yeah. and the walls are solid concrete. why did you have to uchiha proof them? cuz i cant trust you! and its fun to annoy you! oh, that reminds me, i am giving you all presents!! WOO!! sasuke: i am leaving. oh yeah! i also put this thingy on your ankle and if you are gone longer then a day, it will automatically make you fly back to the house! sasuke: what the- dammit! i really hate fangirls... kay! now to the presents!

for sakura, i give you a sasuke plushie! I am also giving you this photo album of me sasuke on a vacation! sasuke is the one usually strapped to a chair. for itachi, i give you nail polish in every shade of purple! even lavender! for kurenai, i give you, a brand new skillet! it has spikes ^_^ for gaara, i give you um, do you want kankuro? he is bugging the shit outta me. for everyone else, i give you GIANT COOKIES! kankuro: doyoulikemountiandew?ilikemountiandew!yay!mountiandew!sugarsugarSUGAR!!yay! kankuro!! get out of my mountian dew before i get my flame thrower!! kankuro:FLAME THROWER SCARY! GAARA, SAVE ME! baby...

Orochimaru: Poor Sasuke. Itachi: What he needs right now is a good lay. Orochimaru: Rock-paper-scissors you for it. Itachi: Deal. -ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!!Orochimaru: -scissorsItachi: -rock- WOOHOO!!! Orochimaru: maaaaan. Jiraiya: But youre not really gonna go do that are you? Itachi: Of course not. Permission to leave for an hour, Zakura-sama? Zakura: Permission granted, but you better not go anywhere but to Hilarious Tragedies place, and only because I want to make people squirm. If you miss out on your share of the sake its not my fault. Lucifel: I concur with this plan. Itachi: Deal. Thank you. he poofs away Jiraiya: Hes not really gonna go do it. Everyone else: -rolls eyes-

Sakura: Right, because I really want this album!! Geez! Zakura: See, you could have sworn there. Sakura: But I didnt want to. Zakura: God, youre a boring bitch. Sakura: whatever-hides Sasuke PlushieOrochimaru: Yee!! Ill justkeep the nail polish until itachi returns. Zakura: no, actually I forgot to mention all of Itachis gifts are forfeit until he returns. -Nailpolish disappearsOrochimaru: Aww, dammit. Kurenai: -Examines skillet- Oh, fun, this opens up lots more possibilities. Jiraiya: Ive got some possibilities in mind. Kurenai: -bashes Jiraiyas head- yay! Double damage! Gaara: noKankuro probably hates me too-mope, whine etcKimimaro: -pats Gaaras shoulderEveryone else: YAY COOKIES!!! cookies are devoured in .2 secondsKiba: Wow, Im realllllly glad Gaara didnt want to bring Kankuro here Shino: -the only one eating his cookie slowlyHaku: I have everything set up, but we need food!
Wow! New characters! (Gives an infinite food generator, which, unbeknownst to Zakura, contains 137 paper bombs for when Zakura inevitably confiscates it). Q1: Shikamaru, I know how it feels to be smart and cripplingly unmotivated. Now that Sakura's mind has literally been torn in half, have you yet calculated how long before you lose your sanity from a total absence of other smart people? Q2: Naruto, I know it's hard to be with so many gay people. But did you know that many of them (like Orochimaru, the least likely to care what your orientation is) have already expressed disinterest in you? That's probably a good thing. Q3: Zakura, how friggin' sweet was it back in the Chuunin prelims when you pwned Ino right out of Sakura's mind? You saw that look she gave Sakura afterwards! The fear of somebody they believe to be truly mad! Avatarjk137

Haku: -sets up food generator- Never mind! The party can start! Zakura: BREAK OUT THE SAKE!!! Kimimaro: anoGaara, do you want me to get you some sake? Gaara: suregetting drunk sound like a good idea. Kimimaro: -goes to get sakeZakura: Shikamaru, someone asked you a question. Shikamaru: -is sipping sake- And I decided it was too troublesome to answer. Zakura: What was that? You want me to revert your brain to that of a three-year-olds? Shikamaru: -scowl- Never. I dont go crazy. drinks more deeplyNaruto: -looks at comment- Thats a reliefI can get drunk without worry now!!! goes to drinkKurenai: As the only responsible adult here I should not be ok with this butI really dont care anymore. drinksJiraiya: -thinks- yes!! If Kurenai gets drunk I might score with her! Zakura: -thinks- yes!! If Kurenai gets drunk I might score with her! says- And yeah, it was freaking SWEET.
Hey Naruto and Kimimaro you guys kick ass and yes Naruto you are only straight guy in the rookie nine and gais team besides Lee and Kimimaro the bone part kicks ass. Have fun no offense from this itachisama tell Deidara-Kun I said I love him and so what if I'm Bi not gay Bi. Lyon Ryushi

Lucifel: Muwahhahaha, yes!! The yaoi is even in my fans!! I did put yours up, btw. Somewhere in the previous three updates Sakura: Why is this here? Lucifel: To prove that I have real-live yaoi-people for fans. Sakura: Dear god
Gives Gaara this -hands unmarked kakashi shaped package that's not filled with cocaine, winkwink- and why do you hate Lee so much? Wewacian

Gaara: -is half-way to drunk- I dont deserve presents!!! throws the package from which muffled yells can be heard into the frappaccino fountainno one notices-

Lee: -gasp- Gaara hates me? Orochimaru: Since when? I though he wanted in your pants Gaara: -is three-quarters of the way to drunk- Of course I dont hate Lee -takes another drinkLee: Im glad to hear that! For we are comrades in battle and good friends, ne? Gaara: -just about drunk and looks at Lee sadly- Yeahgood friends. Lee: -happy smile and goes to eatKimimaro: Gaarawhat is it about that Lee boy? Gaara: Nothing. drinks againhes drunk- Im just in love with him Kimimaro: oh Gaara: -continues drinking- Wanna go to the roof? Kimimaro: But were stuck in here Gaara: Im just drunk enough that I think I can break the rules. Here pushes sake bottle into Kimis hands- you get drunk too, and then well go. Kimimaro: -looks over at where Orochimaru is flirting with Jiraiya and Kabuto is trying to get Orochimarus attention and not look like hes watching Sakura- Surewhy notdrinksNello! Tis me, Rose again! Please go out with me Kabuto, I think your hair is really, really sexy! And so I give you something you could actually use - a collection of bodies in any blood type or gender that you would like for your cruel experimentation! Please go out with me - please! Also I have a question for Oreo-kun! Are you a necrophiliac? I mean, since your jutsus do lie in raising the dead and all... love (only for Kabuto - for everyone else - from), Rose

Kabuto: Bitch, no. Im DRUNK and I still say no. I want only one person, and one person only and only oneum.what was I saying? Orochimaru: -snuggling Kabuto- You are SO cute when youre drunk. Kabuto: oh. Teehee.

Orochimaru: Wellnot if theyre fully dead I wouldnt, but I wont pretend there arent times when Ive been tempted. It takes up too much chakra just for a chance to screw around with previous kages though -Sakura sways and Naruto and Lee run to catch her, Naruto falls flat on his half-drunken face and Lee, being sober, actually manages to catch herbut drops her when he raises his arms in victoryz/sakura: omg I like sakura as a lesbian, i bet she uses sasukes fangirls to her advantage -shifty eyesItachi: did you kill your clan because they used your hair products? It is a theory me and my friends have, also did you leave sasuke alive becasue you thought his hair sucked? (also im a sorta fan of uchihacest) Kabuto: why do you have such wierd glasses? and why is your hair grey? are you related to kakashi? haku: omg you are cute as, i would give you a hug but i fear for my life -looks at zabuza nervously- do you dislike being mistaken for a girl all the time? zabuza: i love you, you are awesome, and why do you have pointy teeth? lee: omg you are my faveourite naruto character, also sakura doesnt deserve someone as nice as you, you should go to gaara, he is mentally scarred and needs lots of hugs also after all the sake you had you are bound to have a hangover, so ill give you a box of headache medicine everyone: does sleeping on the floor hurt? -gives sleeping bags- um if zakura doesnt take them away, i got you seperate ones suited for you wow this is a sorta long post so ill see you next update ta Tarkemelhion

Lucifel: Had to cut this one down, but just so Tarky knows, I really enjoyed this review. ^_^ Naruto: Heeeey voice! Dya wanna get drunk wid us? Lucifel: Naw, Im good. Zakura: Wow! Thats a great idea! I can abuse the fangirls! Sakura: nonono!! Not the fangirls-hic-Itachi returnsOrochimaru: Ita-chan!! How was little Sasuke? Itachi: -smirk- amazing. Kankuro came in on us thoughit was really awkward until we just had him join in. Orochimaru: Seriously? Hes kinda creepyand pudgy. Itachi: Actually hes quite fit, and he apparently doesnt have his make up at H.T.s place so he wasnt wearing that and he looked really good. Lee: You guys are lucky Gaaras so drunk he isnt listening to you!

Orochimaru: Hmm, Ill have to try him out sometime. Itachi: Now, if youll excuse me I want to go drink some sake. Zakura: Answer your question first. Itachi: Oh no, I kept my hair products under careful lock and key in a high security vault. No one DARED try to get thoseand I kept Sasuke alive for moments like the one I had a few minutes ago, Jiraiya: Except you didnt right? Itachi: Of course not. I just chatted it up with H.T. Jiraiya: Oh good-hicOrochimaru: -sits in Jiraiyas lap- Newould you want to Jiraiya: -kisses Oro passionatelyOrochimaru: -happy- Wellwhats this all of a sudden? Jiraiya: -drunk smile- You do look really cute with short hair. Orochimaru: you too -They make outKabuto: No!!!! Noooo!!! Orochimaru-sama, stop it!! Is talking to LeeLee: AnoOrochimaru is over there Kabuto: -blinks- Which one of you said that? Lee: -sweat dropSakura: heehee, Kabuto youre drunk. Kabuto: I am not! You are!! Sakura: Heeheehee, no Im not. Zakura: Youre both drunk. Answer your question Kabuto. Kabuto: I cant read it, the print is really blurrydo you need a new printer?

Zakura: -sighs and read it to himKabuto: I wear glasses becausebecausetheyre X-RAY glasses-hicSakura: Oh!! Can you see through Sasuke-kuns clothes?! Kabuto: -nods energetically- And yours! Sakura: -SLAPSKabuto: -swaying- Soso anywayI have gray hair because Im secretly nine-hundred years old and I am Kakashis great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmotherI mean father Sakura: Thats all bullshit!! Kabuto: No really!! Its true!! Haku: Aww, you can hug me! Zabuza: -glaresHaku: I really dont mind being mistaken for a girl. After all, thats part of why Zabuzasan likes me. Zabuza: -nods- And lots of wave ninja have pointy teeth. Naruto: -leaning in really close- Why? Were you inbred with sharks or something? Zabuza: -pushing him away- No. Naruto: oh. Lee: Well, thank you! My youth is the center of my awesomeness of course! You seem very youthful too! Is Gaara really that sad? Ill go cheer him up!! -Gaara and Kimimaro are goneLee: ? Zakura: Lee, youre not allowed to drink, so you keep track of the headache medicine, ok? Lee: Ok

-Sleeping bags pile up in the front roomZabuza: Do we need those? Zakura: Doesnt matterI cant really filter presents while Im drinking. Lucifel: And I dont mind most of them Naruto: Voicevoice.voice Sakura: heehehehe. Narutos drunk!
Dear Zakura, um...*quickly hands pictres kurenai and tsunade* because they're..."friends with benifits* and if Jaraiya makes eye contact with them they'll explode, oh and pants Orochimaru because 1) to see if he perfers boxers,briefs, or thongs and 2) he's sexy

Zakura: yay! Who wants to see? Kurenai: See what? Zakura: You making out with Tsunade!! Kurenai: O.o -drinksZakura: HmmWhy not? -Zakura walks over to Orochimaru and Jiraiya, and pulls off Orochimarus pantshe is not wearing anything underneathEveryone: GYAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! Orochimaru: -blinks- huh. Jiraiya: Well, that just makes things more convenient for me! Orochimaru: yee!! Jumps on Jiraiya and they continueZakura: -still holding Orochimarus pants in shockDear people, It is I. I had an epiphany. I rediscovered my old joy of senseless violence, so I decided to screw all plans of escape and watch how the pieces fall. And I am also making plans to take over Suna because Kazekage-sama is away! Lalalalalala!! Well onto my questions. Orochimaru and Neji, why the hell do you keep your hair so freaking long?! I mean really I have long hair and it's a pain in the ass... how can you handle it? I mean really!! Anywho. Gaa-kun... you simple simple fool you know my dark ways...: insert dark evil smirk here: omg! I gots a popcicle! You know what the joy from this popcicle gives me is incredible!! I have decided to go on a senseless killing spree in SUna Yah for me!

Gaara, who do you think should survive, Temari, Kankuro, or Sasori who is already dead?!? Itachi, I will make srue to blame you for all this, who do you think should be your partner in this crime? Kisame, Hiden, or Kakazu?! That's all for now! Off to go ransack the village with fire yeah for fire!!

Itachi: this girl is fucking insane. Kiba: Does she really think she can take on Temari? Zakura: Shes a fan girl; you never know what they can do Naruto: heehee. Fan girl vs. fan-girl! Lee: I dont get it Neji: Well, about my hair, I dont mind it long at all. It sometimes gets in the way but overallto be blunt, Sasuke likes it. Shikamaru: hmpf. Itachi: Aww, Shika has a crush on Sasuke. Shikamaru: -drinks- I most certainly do not. Itachi: suuure you dont. At any rate, even though youll fail, go ahead and use Kisame, we travel together a lot, itll be believable. Meanwhile Gaara and Kimimaro are drinking together on the roof silently. Gaara pours Kimimaro a drink and Kimimaro pours one for him and they watch the quiet night descend on Konoha. Kimimaro: Soyou love Lee? Gaara: Yeah, stupid huh? Loving a carefree kid like himhed never want to get together with a creepy, psycho reclusive guy like me. Besides I think hes mostly straight. I dont have a chance Kimimaro: Yeah, it sucks when you dont have a chance with the one you love Gaara: Yeah. Orochimaru would be a tough one to care about. Kabutos looking worse for the wear Kimimaro: Oh, Im not in love with Orochimaru. Gaara: What?

Kimimaro: I idolize him and have deep respect for him, and Im certainly attracted to him buttheres a difference in admiring love and the love you feel for someone on equal ground Gaara: But if you didnt love Orochimaru thenthen Kimimaro: yeah. Gaara: Does he have any idea? Kimimaro: No. He always thought my jealously after I got sick and became incapacitated was because I wanted to be with Orochimaru. I really just wanted to be with himI was glad to have him taking care of me, even though because he thought I was competition for Orochimarus affection he always seemed to detest meyoure actually lucky. At least Lee cares about you as a comrade. Gaara: Why didnt you just tell him the truth? Kimimaro: Because hes in love with Orochimaru. Im not stupid enough to think I could change that and besidesI was dying, and now Im dead. What would the point be? Gaara: I see what you mean. Kimimaro: Why dont you tell Lee? Gaara: Because hes in love with Sakurawere in the same situation. Kimimaro: No. Youre alive. You can do something. The most I could get at this point is an understanding that I never wanted to steal Orochimaru from him and maybe a quick kiss. And besides, even if he cared about me too it would just bring him pain along with mine. I dont want that. Ill keep my distance.just like always. Gaara: But thats so sad Kimimaro: And thats why you shouldnt let it happen to you. Gaara: but Sakura Kimimaro: Doesnt love Lee. Even I can see that. I saw you and Lee fight together, even for the short time you did, you make a good team, and therefore I feel justified in hypothesizing that youd make a good couple. Gaara: -shaking his head- tchyeah right. Kimimaro: Eh, what would I know? Im just the one-time mini-boss-fight character who died right after my introduction. I dont know about this stuff.

Gaara: -cant help himself. He cracks up.Kimimaro: -waits patiently for him to calm down, and starts giggling himself.Gaara: Come on, you had plenty of character-development. Kimimaro: Over what? A forty-minute fight and a few flashbacks? They laugh together some more, drink some more and after a while they grow quiet again, until Gaara softly break the silence. Gaara: What do you think will happen to you when we eventually get out of here? Kimimaro: Ill probably go back to being dead. Gaara: -moves closer to Kimi- That sucks. This could have been the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Kimimaro: -puts his arm around Gaaras shoulders- its better I go back. Id end up fighting you again otherwise. Gaara: Even after all this? Kimimaro: My loyalties lie in the same place as my love. Gaara: Yeahstill, it sucks that when you die now Im gonna have to miss you. Kimimaro: Heh, thanks Gaara looks up at Kimi, and they look at each other for a moment. They kiss. A quick, chaste affair, that lasts for a few seconds before a mutual end. Gaara: huh. I wonder what that was all about Kimimaro: Just felt kind of right for the moment, ne? Gaara: -nods and leans against Kimimaros shoulder and the night goes onBack in the roomwhere everyone besides Lee and Orochimaru are, by now, totally plastered.
Something you should know about me, Im in the Navy, and Im out on deployment right now. My ship is the John C. Stennis, were going to the Persian Gulf to keep shit under wraps over there. That wouldnt normally be important, but it pertains to my next question. 1) Alright, everyone in the room who would fool around with a guy (everyone, Im pretty sure, except Zakura), if youre current occupation wasnt being a shinobi of varying strength, would you join the Navy?

2) This ones for Kyuubi, who is the most badass Naruto character. What would you do if Naruto actually set you free, eat him or be one of his loyal friends? Oh, and heres a Frappucino. Theyre pretty good. 3) For everyone, especially Kyuubi, what is your favorite music? Ill bring some by next time. For now, here are a few gifts. *several cases of Mountain Dew, a mini-bar, and buffet are put before Zakura for her approval. Also, the latest issue of Girls, Girls Girls! is put discreetly into her hands, to sweeten the deal and improve the odds of the rest getting their well deserved presents.* Thats all for me, guys. Later. Khellan Rafe

Sakura: Does it crack anyone else up that guys in the navy read Naruto fanfiction? Kiba: Whats fanfiction? Shino: Not to mention random humorous fics at that. Kiba: I SAID whats fanfiction? Shino: the hell are you talking about? Kiba: o.O? Orochimaru: For me, I wouldnt be a navy guy, for sure. Id be the guy youre trying to blow up. Jiraiya: Yeah, Im more of a vigilantenow get back here you Orochimaru: YEE!! Kurenai: Id probably be more of an army person. Zabuza: Well, the military in general is too structured but if I had to join any branch it would be the navy. Haku: And Id of course go anywhere Zabuza went! Kiba: Id wanna be a marine!! Starts prowlingShino: What are you doing? Kiba: Bein a marine! Shino: How so? Kiba: its a secretor a surprise or somethin Shino: right.

Sakura: AnoI guess Id join the military Zakura: HELL YEAH!!! Kickin ass and takin names in foreign countries! Thats what Im about! Lee: He said anyone who would fool around with a guy Zakura: So? Lee: -_-; Kabuto: Id be a follower of Orochimaru either way. Shikamaru: the military is too troublesome. Zakura: And being a ninjas not? Shikamaru: hmpf Itachi: I would pwn all your military asses!! Starts fighting the airNeji: WellI guess I would join, sure. It seems like a good program. What about you Lee? Lee: Yosh! I would definitely be willing to commit myself to such a proud and youthful thing as the army, or navy or anything of that nature! It is a noble cause! Neji: And thus you admit youd fool around with a guy? Lee: -horror- N-no!! I wouldnt!! I mean Neji: -cracks upZakura: So, this question to Kyuubi And suddenly a deep, dark, menacing voice said: No way would I befriend the brat. Id go right back to what I was doing before Yondaime (the bastard) sealed me away. Everyone: O.O Naruto: K-Kyuubi? Kyuubi: yeah? Naruto: THE FUCK?!?!?!?!

Sakura: Did everyone else hear that?! Gaa/Kimi: -come back downstairs- What was that menacing voice just now? Kyuubi: Ohhh, its the shukaku kid Gaara: No! Now Im hearing voices too?! Sakura: Everyone relax, its probably just the alcohol Lee: But Im sober!! Zakura: You always hear voices though! Lee: oh yeah. Zakura: Anyway, about music, Im definitely a Goth, death-metal type of girl. Sakura: But I like pop Zakura: Yeah, do you know how many times Ive tried to kill myself when listening to your music? Anyway, to make this go faster, Im just gonna list genres, and everyone in favor of the genre will raise their hands. Old school rock n roll? Kure/Jira/Lee: -raise handsZakura: Old farts Lee: No!! I am youthful!! Youthful I say!! Zakura: Yeah, whatever. Hard rock and/or death metal? Kiba/Neji/Oro/Gaa/Zabu/Haku: -raise handsZakura: hmm, ok...wait, HAKU?! Haku: What can I say? I like Zabuza-sans music. Zakura: Ooookcountry? No-one. Zakura: I thought so. Alternative? Shino/Kimi/Ita/Oro: -raise hands-

Zakura: You already raised you hand for hard rock, Orochimaru. Orochimaru: -ignores to continue making out with JiraZakura: Whatever. Pop and/or Emo? Saku/Naru: -raise handsItachi: And somewhere, Sasuke raises his hand and doesnt know why. Zakura: Too true. Classical? Kabu/Shika: -raise handsZakura: Gross. Oh yeah, and Kyuubi. Which is it? you gotta say since we cant see you. Kyuubi: Classical. Everyone: o.o Zakura: Youre shitting me? Kyuubi: What? Just cause Im a vicious animal I cant be a little sophisticated? Jeez Zakura: And I really just want to move on
Zakura-HOW IS IT THAT UR SO FREAKIN AWSOME!! -jigh fives- YAY 4 BEING BITCHEZ!! Sakura-pyon -I guess i can deal wit da fatc dat u and sasuke r homos...-sniffle-.. My sasuksaku beleifs r dead now... Hey, since all the guysin Konahoa r gay or old-looks at jiraya when says old-, r all the girls lesbos 2? Itachi-sama- I LUV U! Heres a crate of fraps 4 when ur of probation, but in the mean time, gaara gets to drink them allso u get wat's left! XP Gaara- Do u like rock lee cuz he might give u part of his eye-brows? OMG!! I DIDNT MEAN 2 AFFEND U OR LEE!! IM SRRY!! -smacks self in faceAnime_love101

Zakura: -misses high-five and face-plants into the ground- Fuck! Ow!! hey there are starsawesome Sakura: NO! Im not a homo!! Zakura is all the parts of me that are small and insignificant to who I am!! Im straight!! Zakura: Call me insignificant to my face! Sakura: How can I when its smashed into the ground? Zakura: Touche.

Itachi: THEY TORMENT ME!!!! Gaara: -mixing sake with a frappuccino- I feel no torment Kimimaro: -looking at the mixture- Is that healthy? Gaara: Hellllll no. Kimimaro: Can I try it? Gaara: When Im done! ...-reads letter- Give me my list!!!! Lee: My eyebrows are my signature! I couldnt give them to Gaara! Gaara: -blank stare- Are you sober? Lee: Completely! Gaara: holy shit.
I have a new goal in life! WOO!! My goal is to capture itachi! Because i am going to let sasuke go sooner or later. i cant keep his awsomeness to myself. Also, if i keep talking about all my plans to capture itachi, sasuke gets really mad at me! Right now, i am hideing under a table cuz i just randomly started talking how itachi is so great. I really dont luv you itachi, but my friend does. Oh, one more thing. i have a gift for orochimaru oh, i also have a question for itachi. Is the uchiha symbol a pokeball? Are you sure? Cuz, it looks like a pokeball. My friend threw a pokeball at sasuke.IT WAS HILLARIOUS! Zakura, you have to try it if you really want to piss sasuke off! Sakura, dont do it cuz he would hate you forever! Luv, H T and sassy! p.s. gaara, your brother passed out on my couch and i need him to leave. Can you somehow help me? i think he had to many muffins! temari tried to move him, but he started to make out with her in his sleep and she got all freaked out and almost cut him in half with her fan! poor temari...

Itachi: Good luck with that. Lee: OH!! I get it now! Fan-girl! As in Temari, because she fight with a fan! Everyone: -_Itachi: Well, no, its not a fucking poke ball!!!! Kiba: -throws pokeball at ItachiItachi: What the F-gets sucked into pokeballPokeball: -jiggle, jiggle- -jiggle, jiggle--ding-

Everyone (Even Oro and Jira stop and stare): O.o Kurenai: Youve GOT to be shitting me Kiba: -picks up pokeball and makes a dramatic pose- I caught an ITACHI!!!! Everyone: -jaws to the floorKabuto: Thatsnot possible. Kiba: Youre just jealous that I caught such an awesome ninja. Kabuto: WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THE POKEBALL FROM?! Kiba: The pokemart, DUH. Kabuto: Oh my brain Gaara: -sighs- fine, ok. Kankuro appears sleeping next to him- I just hope he stays asleep Kankuro: -muttering in his sleep- Gaarasnrrrksandcestsnoooorewheeeeeeeee Lee: -twitch- Youre brother is creepy. Gaara: You get used to it.
LOL Orochimaru youve stuck kusanagi (that sword you have) down your throat so what else have you put down your throatLOL! Also Itachi if someone pisses you off use your mangekyou to torture them! Now Since Im a guy im against yaoi but it just works in here and I have a feeling someones gonna rape Naruto lolz! Lucifel is probably the hottest out of everyone there lol! Chow -Kurai-

Sakura: WHAT?! Why is this here? He asks no questions, only makes lewd comments about Orochimaru and Naruto, and spells Ciao as in the Italian goodbye like chow!! WTF?! Zakura: You perfectionist bitch. This kid is like, sugar-high awesomeness. Lucifel: YAY!! Im the hottest person in the room!! Zakura: Thats also why he was allowed. Jiraiya: -checks out chest size- Ayup. Lucifel: AAAH!! How did you see me?! Jiraiya: I am drunk out of my mind.

Lucifel: Oh ok. Lee: -shudderNaruto: Where is she ero-sennin?! Ill find her!! Lucifel: -hidesHI EVERYONE! I changed my screen name from BellaGaara12 to Bella-QueenOfTehWaffles :P. YAY!! Haku and Zabuza are getting married! :D Zabuza I am heartbroken that you will not let me plan the wedding T.T I helped out during my sister's wedding and I think I could give you and Haku a nice wedding. Gaara I completely understand that you would rather marry Lee...besides you two make a cut couple :3 however, -steals picture of Gaara wearing a skirt- -laughs evily- Who wants waffles?! :D Why is Sasuke's hair shaped like a chicken butt? Before I go...-stabs Zakura- DIE!! -Stabs Zakura dead- YOU SAW NOTHING! -runs awayBella-QueenOfTehWaffles

Haku: Oh, come on, Zabuza-san, she planned a wedding before Zabuza: no! It is not allowed! Brandishes swordHaku: But dont you want a perfect wedding? Zabuza: Yes! By which I mean a quick ceremony and then to the honeymoon suite! Haku: Youre not serious about marrying me at all!! Runs to a corner crying while Zabuza continues to fight off invisible fangirlsNaruto: -goes to comfort HakuOrochimaru: No!! The picture!! Everyone besides Haku and the captured Itachi: WAFFLES!!! YAY!! Zakura: -is fine- Dude, Im the physical shape of mental creation. Stab wounds have nothing on me.
Ok I want to make Kabuto-kun do a dare! Kabuto-kun I dare u 2 give Sakura a 'KISS' on the lips filled with passion!

-Nothing happensKiba: Oh come on! Everyone else is forced to do ridiculous dare but Kabuto doesnt have to? Zakura: The thing ishe already did. Everyone: WHAAAT?!

Saku/Kabu: NO WE DIDNT!! Zakura: Oh, I think a flashback is in order Saku/Kabu: NOOO!!! -FLASHBACKSakura and Kabuto are talking, (well, Kabuto was whining) and suddenly Sakura leans forward and kissed Kabuto. Sakura: -pulls back- WHAT THE MOTHER-FUCKING HELL!?!!? Kabuto: -blinks a few stunned times and then laughs- Calm down, Sakura, it was just the dare! Sakura: o-ohgood An awkward moment, as Sakura blushes redder than her slowly drying dress under Kabutos shirt and Kabuto smirks at her (though not too condescendingly). Slowly Kabutos smirk fades as he watches her fidget and bite her lips. When she looks up suddenly to try and start conversation again since its so awkward, she barely gets the first word out and then Kabuto has pulled her forward and is kissing her deeply. It lasts a long time and then finally Sakura pulls back gasping, and finds that she has somehow become situated on Kabutos lap, facing him. Sakura: S-so, you think Im the sexiest person here, do you? Kabuto: The hell are you talking about? Sakura: Th-the dare Kabuto: But I said truth. Sakura: -blushes even deeper and slowly leans forward.Kabuto: -leans head back to meet her with a gentle kissGentle kisses are nice, but they dont last all that long. Much tumbling and deep kissing ensued, during Which Kabuto pulled his shirt off Sakura just for the sake of removing one more layer between them. Sakuras hand fluttered over the skin on his back and torso while he kept her mouth continuously captured in his. Suddenly Jiraiyas voice leaks from the other room and the two break apart; gasping and shocked. Jiraiya: -muffled- sakura!! If Sasuke never existed, would you go out with Itachi, Neji or Gaara?

Kabuto: Fuck. You should be getting out there. Hurry, go. Sakura: -embarrassedly smoothing hair- B-butwhatI meanwhy Kabuto: -pulling his shirt on- Go! Go! Theyll get suspicious! pushes her to the doorSakura: But you Kabuto: -kisses her quickly- Go. Sakura: -stares at KabutoJiraiya: I SAID Sakura: -opens door quickly and frustratedly- Yeah, yeah I heard you End Flashback Everyone: -stunned silenceOrochimaru: Holy Kimimaro: -stares at Kabuto dejectedlyKabuto: THAT WAS ALL MADE UP!! Sakura: -is feeling sorry for herself in a cornerLee/Naru: I refuse to believe that was real!! Zakura: Oh, it was. Trust me. I know a few of you noticed some things were a little off when they came out, this is why. Haku: -snaps out of mope-age- YAY! You guys make such a cute couple! Everyone: -stares at HakuHaku: What? They do Kabuto: II was just really horny is all! I was desperate because Orochimaru was ignoring me! Sakura: -weeps in embarrassmentOrochimaru: Kabuto, youre a slick bastard. Was that last kiss to ensure a follow-up booty call then?

Kabuto: um, yeah! Orochimaru: But Kabuto, if you were that horny why didnt you just take a slut like Neji instead of Sakura? Kabuto: Neji wasnt here yet! Neji: Well, Im here now, and horny if anyones interested Sakura: L-looklets justmove on Lee: No! Zakura is spreading dirty lies about you Sakura-san! I cannot allow that to pass un-avenged! Sakura: Lee, everyones drunk we can just go on Zakura: Oh, yeah, yeah sure
HI AGAIN! I just wanted to say, Roachy (Orochimaru), my friends and I used to think you were hot...but...we suddenly realized...you're like...ew... Sakura, if Kabuto asked you out, and Sasuke had just gone on a mission, and, let's say...burned to death, would you say yes? Neji: OMG YOU'RE IN THERE TOO! I LOVE YOU! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A SLUT, I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE MY TEDDY! -Coughs- Are you gay, or bi? I LOVE YOU, MY TEDDY!

Orochimaru: NO!!! Im teh sexy!! Jiraiya: Yes, yes, now come show me how sexy you are Orochimaru: -pouncesZakura: By the way, Im putting your pants with the sleeping bags whenever you want them Orochimaru: -gives thumbs up since his mouth is occupiedZakura: I think we can safely say, hell fucking yes to Sakuras question. Sakura: NO! He was justthere, and I was missing Sasuke, I wouldnt DATE him!! Kabuto: Exactly! Saku/Kabu: -pausequickly look away from each otherNeji: Im ateddy?

Lee: certainly not! For I am far more youthful and huggable than you! Neji: At any rate, Im bi. If its sexy, Ill get in bed with it. Zakura: Would you do Kyuubi? Neji: Nah, Im not a big fan of body hair. Kyuubi: Well, youre not my type either shrimp, so fuck off. Naruto: That is so freaky
Hello again! (Random questions) Orochimaru-san, can you lick your elbow? Orochimaru-san and itachi-san, a group of my friends are planning to take over the school and then arizona and the rest of the world, do you guys have any tips?? Zabuza-san, you are one of the seven swordsmen who are the other 6? (Is kisame-fishman-san one of them?) To the characters who are locked in that prison i give you mountain dew's and chocolate (chocolate makes everything better) SilverMononoke

Orochimaru: -pauses in making-out- I could lick the elbows of everyone in this room at once! AND I would suggest using sheep for a hostile takeover. Zakura: Sheep are pretty damn badass. Zabuza: Kyle, Kenny, Stan, Cartman, Butters and Token. Kabuto: What the fuck kind of names are those? Kiba: NO WAY! The kids from South Park are legendary swordsmen?! Zabuza: yepof course. Haku: Really? You never told me that Zabuza: Well, its true... Everyone: W00T!! Mt. dew!! Zakura: Oh man, that much mountain dew with that much sakethis isnt gonna go well. Kurenai: THE CHOCOLATE IS MINE!! Kankuro: -steals and drinks a mountain dew in his sleepAHS: Hello again helpless people in the room! -Waves- Its me! Formally known as A.H.S.!! Anyhow I gotta make my questions quick!

Deidara: Yes please do! Un! These chains are starting to chaff my wrists!! Sasori: Quit complaining! Atleast its not your neck. -GrumblesAHS: Now now boys! I'll be there in a sec! Questions now, so I can go back to my...ahem...bed. 1) Itachi-san! If you could screw any guy in Akatsuki, Whom? Cause I wanna tape it! -Giggles- And thats an order from the new Leader! Yours truely! 2) Jiraiya! Maybe we can come up with an arangement over the pricings? Besides! I have a pretty damn good chest! And its all natural! -Cackles, cracking her black and red stripped whip over Deidara's ass. Deidara: -moanageAHS: Ahem...Chi-kun (Orochimaru) What are your veiws on heavy bondage? J/k. Last and certainly not least! Kabuto-kun! Coould you start wearing contacts and let your hair down!! Your too smexy for the ponytail and glasses!

Orochimaru: So you really think wed believe that you had the ability to capture the akatsuki? Jiraiya: Well, this Lucifel person did capture all of us Orochimaru: My god, youre right. Damn you fan-girls!! Zakura: Who are you damning? Thanks to Lucifel you get to make out with Jiraiya. Orochimaru: I LOVE FANGIRLS!! Zakura: All right Kiba, let Itachi out to answer his question. Kiba: -gets up, pushes his hair back, winds up for the pitch and yells- ITACHI! I CHOOSE YOU!! -Itachi comes out of the pokeballItachi: -blinks a few times- Who the fuck did that to me? Kiba: -hides pokeball- Not a clue. Arent you drunk? Zakura: Being returned to a pokeball cures intoxication, even though technically its more like poison and therefore shouldnt Kiba: anywayanswer your question, Itachi. -Itachi refuses to obey!Kiba: Dammit! I have to get some badges! Shino: If you go on a pokemon quest after this so help me Ill Itachi: SO IT WAS YOU!! -Lunges at Kiba-

Zakura: -snaps fingers and Itachi is pinned to the floorItachi: -grumble grrr- I hate you. Deidara. Hes one of the few normal/good-looking ones Zakura: Thank you, thats all we needed. Kiba. Kiba: Itachi! Return! Itachi: -mangekyou Sharingans Kiba-After a second things are back to normal and Kiba collapses on the ground, shakingShino: ARG!! How dare you! What did you do to him!? Itachi: I made him take care of a cat with digestive problems for seventy-two hours straight. Shino: Monster! Itachi: YeahI know Jiraiya: -drools- I think we can make some price cuts Orochimaru: What about me?! Jiraiya: What about you? Youre not suddenly unsexy or anything, I still want in your pants too Orochimaru: WHEE!! Zakura: how do you plan to get in pants that arent even there right now? Jiraiya: I plan to count my blessings as they come. Itachi: This whole whipping Deidara thing is sexy Zakura: This whole, nicely-chested girl with a whip thing is sexy Orochimaru: My view on heavy bondage is that Jiraiya and I should try it! Jiraiya: Haha! Yeah!! Sakura: hmmm-steals Kabutos glassesKabuto: H-heythings were blurry enough with them

Haku: -steals Kabutos hair tieKabuto: What are you doing?! Everyone: woah! Kimi/Saku: -bluuushSakura: Oh wow Kimimaro: -grabs Gaaras shoulder for support as he swaysKabuto: What? What is it? Dammit, I cant see anything Sakura: Well, were all doing enough looking for you Kabuto: hwa?
What made you wanna brake free from sakura? And now that you are whats the one thing you wanna do most when you get free? So do u think there is another person out there in that room other than sakura you might like...?

Zakura: well, Sakura was having this over-load of conflicted emotions because of being in this room, and I was getting tired of her passive way of dealing with it, so I finally decided that, shit, if Im in a place where I can kill physics, may as well use that fact. Sakura: gyahrrgwow Zakura: See, if I was in her brain Id be drowning in mush right now. Kyuubi: Maybe I should take a hint from you Kabuto: -wanders around with his hands out trying not to bump into anythingalmost falls into the pool but Kimimaro catches himKabuto: Uh thanks.ummwhich one are you-squints and leans in close to Kimimaro, trying to see his face. Kimimaro: EEP!! Drops Kabuto and hides behind Gaara, blushing furiouslyGaara: Now I see why you really wont say anything, youre just the goopy shy type. Kimimaro: Shut up! Hes never looked so hot! Kabuto: -trying to stand- Oww

Naruto: Nah, no one in this room is anywhere near as cute and nice as Sakura-chan! Itachi: Plenty of people ARENT in the room, though Naruto: Anowell-bluuushJiraiya: ha-ha! Naruto-chan has a crush on someone!! Naruto: No! Shes just kind of cute Gaara: Psh, its a girl? Im SO not interested. Naruto: Youre weird Gaara Gaara: And youre cute, Naruto. Naruto: cuz I gots whiskers Gaara: Still drunkwhich just makes you cuter. Naruto: meow. Im a cat with whiskers Gaara: Cuuute. Kimimaro: Who do you have a crush on here?! Gaara: Lee. But Narutos adorable, and as his best gay friend I have to expose him.
Hello everybody! Gaa-chan of cours i'll be ur friend! Also the frappcinno waterfall & lake will never run out no matter how much u drink from it! Also i'm still trying to fix a frappcino waterfall at ur house it'll take time but it'll be done by Friday! ! Also here's Lux conditioner and shampoo [for Itachi]! Hope ya like it also a lavender scented body soap and nail polish!

Gaara: Oh, sweet. Make sure you tell Temari I okd you building that. Of courseshe wont believe that I have any friends butumm, good luck. Itachi: Yay! Im gonna go wash my hair and everything, like, twenty times!! WHEEE!! Runs into door frame for the bathroom, shakes head and goes into bathroomSo, they all continue drinking and eating and partying and on and on through the night some karaoke is involved, the highlight of which was a love-ballad duet between Itachi and Kabuto. Kimimaro continued hiding behind Gaara to avoid the suddenly sexy Kabuto, Gaara kept bugging Naruto with homosexual comments, Naruto kept going on about his whiskers, trying to get Sakura to acknowledge how cute they are. Lee managed to enjoy himself without getting drunk cuase hes so weird. Kiba tried to get on Shino a lot, even though Shino was still trying to hold out on him. Orochimaru kept making out with Jiraiya all night. Shikamaru drank by himself in a corner. Haku easily forgave

Zabuza, obviously, and kept planning his weddingthe drunken plans will be discarded later, of course. Kurenai tried supervising for a while and then gave up and started singing karaoke and dancing and hitting on Kibawhich was kind of weird, but not really considering where they are. Neji tried desperately to get laid, because the slut cant go a night without someone in his pants. Sakura and Kabuto started flirting once everyone was too drunk to care, and ended up cuddling when they all decided to go back into the main room and get in the caringly provided sleeping bags. They left Kankuro in the pool/party room, muttering about sandcest and nonsenseLucifel: Well, this was a long update, but hey, I warned you, and you supplied the reviews! And of course, I delivered. I hope you didnt mind. Ill get to reviews given over this weekend next weekend. So, the review deadline is Friday, if you wanna get your review into whatever chapter is up for the weekend. It may be late Sunday night, but it is the weekend, so technically I made the scheduled date for updating! Yay me! Ok, thank you all so much, I love you all!! See you for the hangover chapter!

Ask Sakura 17 Lucifel: Kya! Youve all been so great! I just want to say that, although the gifts are awesome, and really help me add to the story, because they take some addressing as well, from now on Ive got to count gifts as questions, so you only get three questions or three gifts, or a mix of both. I can always pick and choose if you just cant help but send a whole bunch at once. (You can always save for coming chapters) An apology to Kryah: for some reason I couldnt paste you gifts and am too lazy to type them up! But, the point is, Hakus going to be wearing your kimono to his wedding! (And Gaara is hiding that plushie you gave him very carefully.) Haku: Yay! Swirls around with wedding kimono and falls over from his hang-overZakura: WHAT?! No! We partied right through Valentines Day?! We missed it?! Everyone besides Lee: -mooooan- shut up! Lee: What is wrong with you all?! Youre showing none of your usual youth! Eyes Jiraiya- wellmostly Kurenai: Youve never had a hang over have you Lee? Lee: hwa? Kurenai: Just shut up and let me have some of that headache medicine you got Lee: OooohI lost it. Everyone: YOU WHAT?!! MoooanLee: Im sorry! I will punish myself with 2000 push-ups! Drops and starts doing pushupsZakura: Guys! Youre all missing a very important thing here!! Kabuto: -so hung-over he doesnt care that he and Sakura have been found sleeping next to each other, and he puts his glasses back on- Firstly, why arent you hung over? Secondly, whats the big deal about missing a stupid made-up holiday?!

Zakura: You dont understand! It doesnt matter if I was the biggest bitch in the world, Valentines day is the day every girl dreams about romance and hopes that it will be a day of love and passion for her! And I fucking missed it this year! This could have been my year! Itachi: Well, obviously I wasnt since it didnt happen. Zakura: I hate you! Sakura: NoI cant believe we missed it! Zakura: Shut up bitch! You GOT your valentine early in the pool room! Sakura: -bluuushHaku: I dont mind. Every day is loving and passionate with Zabuza-san. Zakura: -flips the bird at HakuHaku: -puppy eyes- Why? Zakura: Because you(looks at the big, hurt eyes) Dammit! Why must you be so cute and girly?! Sakura: -groanHey everyone! I'm back with more gifts! I'm so nice right? Itachi: A new frappucino machine! Because, I know you must miss it...*wipes away tear* Gaara: I brought you...a panda suit. Because i saw a pic of you dresed in one and i couldn't resist. Lee: A picture of Gai Sensei. Just do me a favor and don't run into a sunset with it 'kay? Orochimaru: OMG! HI! I brought those pics of Sasuke as Cat-Boy! And THANK YOU FOR LICKING ME! Kurenai: Godiva Chocolate. Yum. Zabuza: 3rd Inuyasha movie since you love him so much... Haku: A new silk kimono! ep! Well I hope i got everyone. And if i didn't then...too bad! ~ Starfaya ~

Itachi: hrrrrrg must drinkfrappuccino-reaches from frappuccino machineZakura: -steps on Itachis hand- nope, youve got two more days, pussy. Itachi: -whimpers-

Kimimaro: -taps Gaara through sleeping bag- youve got something. Gaara: -reaches out and pulls panda suit into sleeping bag, groaningLee: -springs up- Ah! I have not seen my mentor in so long! starts towards sunsetZakura: -trips himLee: -SLAMOrochimaru: -blinks groggily at pictures of Sasuke- YEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! CAT-BOY SASUKE!! Jiraiya: owwww, that was right in my earWHY WERE YOU SLEEPING NEXT TO ME?! Kurenai: you really shouldnt let yourself get drunk like that, Jiraiya. Eats chocolateJiraiya: W-whywhat did I do? Itachi: Orochimaru, what else? Jiraiya: B-but I didnt right? Itachi: Sure, just like I didnt screw Sasuke. Jiraiya: phew? Haku: KYA!!! Another Kimono! Puts Kimono on- Wa! I look so pretty! Ne, Im gonna need kimonos for the wedding guests too (girls and boys style) you guys can help! Who ever gives me the kimonos with the prettiest styles/patterns will have their kimonos used for my wedding! Neji: Did Haku just turn this into a gameshow? Zakura: I dunno, dont question the Haku. Haku: OH! And Ill need a special one for Zabuza-san! Zabuza: Say what? I thought Id just wear my usual Haku: NO! You need special clothes! Zabuza: -rolls eyes- ok, Ill wear whatever you want

Kiba: Anoam I the only one that remembers something about Kabuto and Sakura making out? Sakura: Ehehehe, no, no, that was a prank, a dare. Kabuto was dared to. Kiba: Oooooh, ok. Itachi: -to Orochimaru- You buying it? Orochimaru: Fuck no.
Gaara do you know what sandcest is? Because I think it's sick and disgusting what about you. Oh yeah Sandcest is a pairing with you and Temari and Kankuro Zakura: Is anyone in this room not gay or bisexual. If you were prt of Sakura and you're a Lesbian doesn't that make Sakura bisexual Oh yeah Gaara does the pairing Temari and Naruto piss you off from Saskuretsu

Gaara: -crawls out of sleeping bag in panda-suit- oh yeah, sandcest well Oro/Ita: KYAAA!! CUTE!!! Gaara: -glares- shut up, its cold. Anyway, Kankuro tries to get on me sometimes, weve never really had a normal sibling relationship so its not so weird Itachi: And its just incest. Gaara: Exactly. Zakura: I dunno, is anyone here totally straight? And so help me Jiraiya, if you raise your hand Ill kill you. Jiraiya: -scowlSaku/Naru: -raise handsZakura: tch, figuKurenaiyoure not straight? Kurenai: -shrugs- theres been a woman or two I could imagine getting in bed with. Zakura: wow, the world just got a light brighter. Sakura: Im not bisexual, because Zakura is the opposite of everything I was so :p.
1.) Sakura you're one of my girl favorite character and all and dude I wish i had you're hair! how'd you get it that pretty? 2)Kabuto are you really gay?,and If you could would you marry/date/or makeout with Sakura?,also Dude you're way hot you don't need that stupid Oro-teme as a bf,he's not worth it!,date someone nice and kind

like sakura,or hinata(nvm,she's naruto's...) 3)Gaara, tell u're older bro. that he look's hot with his face paint(Star:CoughMakeupcough) ,but is way HOTTER Without it!,oh yeah and could he teech me how to make a puppett someday Star,Monki,M&m:SEE YAH LATER! MandMfreakandfollower

Sakura: itsnatural Zakura: Yeah, Chojis lucky he didnt get the pink hair. Sakura: CHOJI ISNT MY SECRET HALF-BROTHER!! Gasps and covers mouthShikamaru: -chokes on the water he was drinkingEveryone: -staresSakura: What? Hes not. Zakura: Yes he is. Why are you lying about it? Sakura: -whimperKabuto: Wow, if I wasnt so hung-over Id totally make of fun of you about this. Lee: -thinks- hmmI am thirsty, I know! I will drink one of the frappuccinos Gaara left out last night! Drinks- w-woahthat frappuccino tasted funny Kabuto: one, Orochimarus not my bf; Im just his loyal servant. Two, Im bisexual and three; I would never marry or date Sakura. Lee: -rushes over, swaying- SO!! You admit you would make out with her?! Kabuto: Well I kind of did Lee: Unacceptable!! Attacks all drunken-styleKabuto: -barely dodges- GAH! WTF?! Lee: I WILL DEFEND SAKURA-SANS HONOR!!!!!!! Gaara: -calls into pool room- Kankuro! These girls want in your pants!! Kabuto rushes by in front of him, Lee chasing after- Wtf? looks up and realizes what happened. - Ho, damn.
Zakura - if you had to choose a 4 way betwen you, Sakura and two others -- who would the two others be? And remember you can sexy no jutso now. Sakura - what is the one jutso you don't now know but really wish you could do?

Everyone - What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up? Kazster

Zakura: Kurenai and Ino. Kurenais got the sexiness and Id like to completely dominate Inos ass. I personally wouldnt have Sakura there if I could avoid it. Sakura: -twitch- You are so ruining my life Zakura: hell yeah. Lee: SAKURA-SAN!! WATCH ME DEFEND YOUUUUU!! Sakura: Im watching! Kabuto: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Sakura: Oh, yeah, I wish I could do sharingan so I could relate to Sasuke better Itachi: But then Id have to kill you. Sakura: -meepHaku: first thing in the morning? I kiss Zabuza good morning! Zabuza: -smirkShino: I get out of bed. Kiba: -rolls eyes- I try to keep him in bed. Neji: I wonder where whoever I slept with that night went. Kiba: GOD youre a whore. Neji: Yup. And Im ok with that. Naruto: Anousually I get some breakfast. Lee: I TRAIN SO I CAN DEFEND SAKURAS HONOR!! Kabuto: -is breathless form runningSakura: I brush my hair and teeth Zakura: After checking to see if her boobs have gotten any bigger. Sakura: I DO NOT!!!

Zakura: Sure whatever Jiraiya: I uh Zakura: He usually wakes up thinking about Orochimaru and hoping everyday that all of it was just a bad dream. Everyday, he has to wake up and keep living with the fact that it did. Orochimaru: -blinks- Are you serious. Jiraiya: -blush and scratches head embarrassedly- Iumshes exaggeratinga little Orochimaru: Oh, Im so sorry JiraI think about you too! Jiraiya: Whatever Kurenai: I shower. Jiraiya: -forms mental image- hehehe Kurenai: -bashes headKabuto: I make sure Orochimarus up and on time for his usual morning villainous thinking Kimimaro: He still does that? Kabuto: Oh yeah. Gaara: I usually end up cursing at somethingIm not a morning person Itachi: I make sure none of the other akatsuki attempted to rape/kill me in the night. A lot of them want to. Zakura: Damn, thats harsh. Itachi: yeah Shikamaru: Naruto: Cmon, Shika, how do you wake up? Some really smart way right? Shikamaru: -mutters somethingNaruto: What?

Shikamaru: I wonder why I bother with such troublesome people Naruto: huh? That sounds kind of suicidal Shikamaru: Im notquite Naruto: ?
Zakura: if you control the room dimension why dont you bring in some girls to molest? Shikamaru: do you ever get tired of being a genius? ps Lee: give gaara a hug plz Kyuubi: why did you attack Konoha, is it because ou are evil or was there a reason behind it Tarkemelhion

Lucifel: TARKY!!!! Lee: HO! The voice! I shall kill it now! LOTUS GATE!!! Gaara: gah! No! Tackles Lee so he cant do the dangerous jutsuLee: What are you doing?! LET GO OF ME!!!! Gaara: no! Youll hurt yourself! Calm-- -realizes Lee has fallen asleep- -sighs and sits back, Lee sprawled across his lapShikamaru: Neverbut even as a genius I never saw Sakura being related to Chojiholy shit. Zakura: Lees in an alcohol-induced coma, (really fast, I might add) and hugs arent necessary. Gaara: -disappointed sighLee: -sighs in his sleep and hugs GaaraGaara: -blushKyuubi: I attacked Konoha because those bitches kept leaving their lights on at night. I couldnt fucking sleep. Naruto: Somy life was ruined because they left their lights on one too many times? Kyuubi: Thats about right. Naruto: I hate my life

Anyway, those paper bombs didn't go off...odd that my Booby Trap 137 technique didn't work... (Notices all the bombs have the kanji for 'laxative' instead of 'explode' and grins sheepishly) you might want to stop eating food from that thing... Question time! Kyuubi, what does it smell like in Naruto's... inner prison thingy? I'm sure your superior fox demon nose could tell us. Kimimaro, what were the rest of the Sound 4/5/6 like as co-workers? Everybody: If so many ninjas are gay, how are so many of you left in this generation? And don't say cloning, because I know Orochimaru and Kabuto are still figuring that one out. Avatarik137

Zakura: The bombs didnt go off because I never tried to confiscate it. Duhoh man Im glad laxatives dont work on mental beings Everyone: NOOO!! Kyuubi: eheheh, no laxatives for me either, bitches. Oh, and it smells like blood and guts. Just like home Everyone: -twitchOrochimaru: Oh come on, its not that bad. Itachi: No shit, pussies. Kimimaro: Anyway, they were all right. Most of them were noisy and a pain in the ass, but we formed a kind of discombobulated family unitI kind of miss them. Those lucky bastards got into hell Kurenai: And its only theyre generation thats openly gay. Everyone was shy about it up until when anko started being open about it. I mean, everyone knew Shikaku and Inozuka had something going on the side but Shikamaru: Wait, WHAT?! My father and Inos father Kurenai: Yeah, well, at least everyone thought Shikamaru: -twitchKurenai: oh come on! They were so close, what else could it be? Shikamaru:
Itachi, are you still blind? By the way it sounds ur not but I still suspect... anyway... Orochimaru, How come you never freaking show your younger face?! It's so kawaii! It's always your ugly old face... I mean really!! I Have an Alter Ego

Itachi: When was I blind?

Shino: Probably later in the story that Lucifels read. Kiba: -looks at Shino twitchilyItachi: that makes sense. Shino: What does? Orochimaru: Aaaanyway, I look older so Im more distinguishedits not THAT old, sheesh. Not like Jiraiya or something Jiraiya: hey! Orochimaru: And besides, short hair makes me look younger! Jiraiya: -sniffle- I want my long hair back Zakura: -hands him ponytail of his old hair- here ya go. Jiraiya: Thats just cruel. Zakura: That is the idea.
anyway, i have a "friend" i would like you all to meet! her name is amber andgirl: MY FREAKING NAME IS EMBER! E-M-B-E-R! jeeze, calm down ok ember. (amber) and she is kinda my opposite "twin" and stuff. amber: very opposite, thats for sure, I AM A BLONDE AND YOU ARE BRUNETTE! then, i luv itachi!! there is another diff cuz i luv sassy-chan and ya need to fight my friend for itachi. and.. oh yeah!! PUT ITACHI IN ANOTHER POKE BALL! PLEASE! then can you give him to me?? i wanna beat the shit outta ash and i need an awsome strong pokemon. maybe thats wy sasuke dissappeared when i threw it at him and... OMFG!! I THINK HE IS STILL IN THE POKEBALL! oh well, he gets to leave on valentines day. i think i will battle ash with him. then i will suffer sassy's wrath becuase I PUT HIM IN A POKEBALL! then, i think amberamber: EMBER! ember (amber) will do my messages as i recover in the hospital. then i will sue sasuke because of abuse and stuff, then i will buy a bullwhip and attempt to whip him. then i will get a pokeball and repeat. amber: you planned your whole life, didnt you? yep!! oh, and maybe some day, i can trust you all with my secret of amber amber: what secret? you didnt tell yet? AND MY NAME IS FUCKING EMBER! oh hush! i dont wanna tell yet or they all might be scared. amber: sometimes, i wish i wasnt "human" HT

Itachi: The first person who throws a pokeball will be mangekyou Sharinganed into the next century! Zakura: Are there even any questions in there? Sakura: One or two, you have to look hard. Ash: damnSasuke must be like, a level 100 psychic!!

Everyone: Crickets: -chirp, chirpItachi: What the hell? Ash: I know! Ill catch Itachi, Sasukes evolved form, and then Ill definitely beat H T! Itachi: You better n Ash: -throws pokeball-Pokeball bounces off Itachi-You cant catch another trainers pokemon!!Kiba: HEY! Are you trying to steal my Itachi?! Itachi: -angry twitchingAsh: N-no! I had no idea Kiba: Yeah, yeah go join team rocket you petty thief! Ash: Im not thief! And Ill prove it! I challenge you to a battle! Sakura: how the fuck does having a battle prove anything!? Kiba: I accept your challenge, shithead! AttacksAsh: -running away from kunai-wielding Kiba- No! No! A pokemon battle!!! What kind of trainer are you?! Kiba: -stops- Ooooh, yeah, whatever. Itachi! Go! Kunai attack! -Itachi uses instead, MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!!-Kiba and Ash are subjected to 96 hours of watching the latest plot-less badly voice-acted pokemon episodesAsh/Kiba: -lie twitchingItachi: -in deep menacing voice- Now Itachis gonna finish this the fuck off with a GOKAKYU NO JUTSU BITCHES!!!!! -Kiba sits writhing while Ash blasts off into the distance, making a little star-

Itachi: What have we learned Kiba? Kiba: That I need at least six badges before I can control you? Itachi: -gokakyus him again- what was that?! Kiba: AHHH! YOU ARE YOUR OWN MASTER! WhimperZakura: I think that was the single most pathetic thing Ive ever seen.
Me again! Naruto, you're the cutest one in there! Well...so is Haku...and of course, Neji's my teddy, so can't forget him...but you come pretty close! My question is for Itachi: What type of girl do you like? What's your type? Sharingan princess

Naruto: -humble nose-wipe- ehehe, thanks. Gaara: Oh its true you knowyoure just deliciously cute. Naruto: Gaaraaaaa, stop it. Gaara: heehee -puts arms around the still out-cold LeeKimimaro: Arent you the lucky bitch? Gaara: Yeah, are you gonna go kick Sakuras ass? Kimimaro: nah Gaara: You sound a little tempted. Kimimaro: hmpf. Itachi: My type of girl is a man. Orochimaru: Whats you type of man? Itachi: I like being seme, so usually a younger one, on the cuter side of sexy and, you know, dark hair and eyesrelated to me Jiraiya: OK! Enough! Orochimaru: Would you ever play uke? Jiraiya: Ew! No! Orochimaru: Not you, Itachiand you will.

Jiraiya: o.O Itachi: If a guy was actually strong enough to hold me down and take controlthen hell yes. Thatd be hot.
Neji-sensei (hopefully youre so awesome. Will you teach me how to use your fighting styles? You're cool.I don't believe you're a slut but I do believe Ino is (I'm on your side Sakura. Ino's a whore and an over violent bitch). Do you like Tenten? Why does Sasuke not have pupils? Is he blind or something (After gazing upon Sakura's beauty he would be) Itachi Pokemon sux do you agree Neji do you have a problem with hyugacest. Do you have a problem with anyone kidnapping Hinata? -smirks evillySaskurestu

Shino: Neji-sensei? Kiba: -snicker- what, does she need training in, the ways of slut? Neji: -smacks Kiba- Anyway, I cant teach you my techniques, because its really all natural. Kiba: Yep. Born a slut. Neji: -64-points KibaKiba: Why do people keep beating me up?! Neji: So anywaywhos Tenten?! Everyone: -exasperated collapseItachi: So, yeahits now my goal to kill all the pokemon and trainers EVER. Orochimaru: You know theres like, millions of different pokemon right? Kiba: Aww, cmon. Its just about four hundred Orochimaru: Whatever. Itachi: pft, whatever. Maybe itll give that world a damn plot. Orochimaru: Eh, I can see that. Neji: And Hyuuga-cest doesnt really bother me that much. I mean, I dont like girls that much, but Hinata is pretty cuteholy shit, weve got to save her!

Zakura: -sigh- yeah, yeah, whatever. Snaps fingers, Hinata appearsHinata: -swoonNaruto: -as nearest to her catches her- H-Hinata! Are you ok? Hinata: -opens eyes- EEEEK!!!! Naruto: AHG! Drops herHinata: -sits up slowly, rubbing head- owwwhere is this place? Kiba: HINATA-CHAN!! Runs up and hugs herNeji: Hey! I wanna hug her too! Shino: Shes my team-mate! Kurenai: Shes my student! -Everyone rushes to hug Hinata besides Zakura and ZabuzaZabuza: What? You dont want to hug the obnoxiously cute girl? Zakura: -frozen and blushing furiously- Shes s-socute Zabuza: Seriously? Zakura: -nodsZabuza: hehe, thats hilarious. Zakura: what about you? Why dont you hug her? Zabuza: I dont do hugs. I get to make love with someone twice as cute as her every night. Zakura: Ah, I see that. Hinata: -is shyly hugging everyone as they all try to push forward and get their hugsIta/Oro: CUTIE!! Double-hug HinataHinata: ? OrochimaruandItachiwhat? Kurenai: -pushes them away as they chuckle- Ignore that sweetie, how are you?

Hinata: Really, really confusedwhere am I? Neji: this weird room where were all trapped and forced to answer questions. No big deal. Hinata: hwa?
1) How much of a discount are we talkin' Jiraiya? I accept noting under 50%!! 2) Kabuto...-Hands him some contacts- Could you prehaps teach me that regeneration technique? 3) Itachi-san...How light of Lavender do you want your room painted? I'm redecorating H.Q... 4) Zakura...I want you to join Akatsuki. Our goal is to take over the world and enslave the human race!! I'll even buy you your own whip!-BlinksTenrai mestuki omoi-sakura

Jiraiya: Ill give you sixty percent off if you actually flash me. Kurenai: -bashes head- Are you ever just gonna stay down? Hinata: Yee! Kurenai-sensei!! Kurenai: Oh, he deserved it. Kabuto: Ohwoahwhat are these? Zakura: Contacts, they go right on your eyeball, and correct your vision. Itd be good for fighting. Kabuto: Oh, cool. how would I put these in? Zakura: By putting them on your finger and then on your eyeball. Kabuto: -twitch- gross Zakura: Oh come ON. You rip peoples hearts out for a living and you cant put something on your eyeball? Kabuto: But its naaaaasty. Kimimaro: Ill put em in if you want. Kabuto: Agh! No! Youd just poke my eyes out worse! Kimimaro: I will not! Give me those! Reaches for contactsKabuto: -pushing him away- No! Why do you people care if I wear contacts or not anyway?! Kimimaro: -trying to climb over Kabuto- Just give me the damn contacts!

Kabuto: Go away Kimi! Falls over, dropping contacts- oof. And at any rate I cant just teach the technique to a non-Shinobi Kimimaro: -picks up contactsOrochimaru: -holds Kabutos arms behind his back- Put em in! Kabuto: Youre gonna fucking kill me! Itachi: a nice pastel is good. Nothing dark. Jiraiya: Youre seriously just gonna let her do that? Itachi: Ive learned that this is fan-girl world, when we go back outside, everything will fall back into its proper plot-line, so it doesnt matter. Besides Ive been meaning to paint my room Zakura: Join a random evil organization for a free whip? HELL YES!!!! Kabuto: GET AWAY FROM MY EYES!! Orochimaru: Someone pry his eyes open! Or cut off his eyelids Kabuto: agh! No! -Squelch, squilllllllllch, ickKabuto: -mooooanOrochimaru: Wow, I dont think hell ever get those out Kimimaro: -throws away Kabutos glasses and mutters- I certainly hope not. Sakura: What did you guys DO? Kabuto: my eyes.
Wow, you guys really got plastered. Kinda sorry I gave ya a mini-bar, but since no one seems to have noticed, I'll make it a wedding gift instead! Congrats, Haku and Zabuzaku! Weddings are so much FUN! Anyway, why is it so surprising that there are Naruto fans in the Navy? Seems about as normal as gay shinobi. Ne? Anywho, on to my questions. 1) Kyuubi, again. Why so mean? I'm guessing not enough love as a pup. S'okay, lotsa kids don't get loved enough. Toughens 'em up for the real world. Was it cause you had nine tails? Anyway, here's a hug from me, and my promise of friendship (bet that annoys the Hell out of you). 2) Shikamaru, we seem to share a problem. We're too smart for our friends. So my question is, how do you deal with all the idiocy and foolishness? Toning it out only works for so long, unfortunately. 3) All the ladies, what do you think of strapping, 6-foot, muscular Navy men?

Oh, and here's some music for ya. For Zakura, Kiba, Neji, Oro, Gaara, Zabuzaku, Hakuzaba, some Slipknot, Incubus and Metallica. Kurenai, Jiraiya, and Lee can have some Bruce Springsteen, Little Richie, and Morris Day & the Mother$#@%ing Time. Shino, Kimimaro, Oro (again) and Itachi, I got some Offspring, Nickelback and Evanescence. Sakura and Naruto, I can't believe you're actually ninja. I mean, pop? WTF? And for the almighty Kyuubi-dana, Kabuto and Shikamaru, Beethoven's Symphonies, with my best. I'm outty 50. Khellan Rafe

Haku: KYA!! Wedding present! Zabuza: Oh god, were getting presents now? Haku: YAY! YAY! YAY! Zabuza: -sighKyuubi: I SO need to kick this guys ass. Hinata: eep, who was that? Kiba: Oh, Narutos stomachs just talking. Hinata: o.O Naruto: Kyuubi is not in my stomach! Kyuubi: Thats not what it feels like; damn its cramped in here. And how dare this mothafucka hug me! Kiba: You need some love, man. Itachi: Well why dont you give it to him you dog-fucker. Hinata: -gasp- Kiba-kun you dont really Kiba: Oh, god, Hinata, NO! I dont! Hinata: -still horrified by mental imagesKyuubi: I hate you all. Shikamaru: When I get tired of tuning idiots such as these outI just leave. Its not worth it to hang out with people that are really just troublesome fools. Naruto: ne ShikamaruIm not a troublesome idiot am I?

Shikamaru: I go on a day-to-day basis Naruto: Oh Orochimaru: If it makes you feel better, I think youre troublesome. Naruto: -_Kure/Saku/Haku: -think about tall, strapping navy men- KYAAA!!! I WANT ONE!! Hinata: -bluuuuuuuushZakura: blarg. Men are grossHaku, wtf, youre a boy and youre getting married Haku: So? Oh! Yay! Music! Hugs metallica CDItachi: Dude, what the fuck? Nickleback is alternative? Shino: Nah, Nickleback is crap-ternative. Itachi: -high-fivesKimimaro: -decides not to squeal over Nickleback cd and hides itLucifel: You all suck. It may not be alternative but Lips of an Angel is an awesome song. Lee: -mutters in sleep- Sakura-san has lips of an angel Naruto: Dude, I bet that sounded really weird if you didnt hear Lucifel Gaara: -scowling- it did. Kyuubi: Hell yes! Lets play this shit! Kiba: I am NOT listening to fucking Beethoven. Kyuubi: You gonna stop me bitch? Kiba: W-well, no, butcant you use headphones or something? Kyuubi: Oh yeah sure, let me just pull out my ipod and you can plug them right into Narutos navel. Naruto: gah! Dont you dare!

Haku: Whats an outty fifty? Kiba: Jiraiyas belly-button? Jiraiya: HEY! I have an inny! Orochimaru: And a cute one. Jiraiya: -_-
To Zakura: do you ever get really pissed at sakura while in her mind and torture her in ways only known to kyuubi? Also since I dont have a girlfriend, im on a mini sugarhigh and its valentines day I will do this -kisses Lucifel on the cheek- Hope you liked it lol! Kurai no tsuki

Zakura: No, were connected more than Kyuubi, when in her I usually have the same goals in mind, and plus, it would just hurt me if I did anything to her. It sucks too Kyuubi: Eh, dont feel bad, I honestly cant do that much to Naruto eitherbut somedaysomeday I will. Gaara: DUDE! This Lucifel bitch did NOT just get more action than me on Valentines Day! Lucifel: -giggling madly- I think I did. Teehee.
Naruto who do u desire if not a girl? A) Sasuke B) Neji C) An animel d) Occimaru E) The forth Hokage Sakura if u were a boy who u date? Lee *gives a thousand fan art of Sakura* I want u to have good birth day *Smiles sadly* Itachi isf u want a Fuppic(sp?) u have to kiss me *Holding about three hundres Fuppic(sp?)* Yinyangwhitetiger

Naruto: NO! I am straight dammit! Kyuubi: From in here it looks like yondaime. Naruto: NONONO!! I just really admire him! Kyuubi: Riiiight. Naruto: I am straight

Hinata: Why wouldnt he be? Kiba: Because youre cousins a whore. Hinata: W-what? Hes never even had a girlfriend. Shino: Hinata, you are aware of other preferences right? Hinata: W-well, yes, but none of us are gay Shino: Hinatayou do know Kiba and I together dont you? Hinata: O.O WHAT?! Shino: -sigh- why did you think we spent so much time together? Hinata: W-wellyoure on the same team and Shino: Hinata, when we were together for teamwork wed invite you Kiba: Yeah, when we spent time alone it was to have passionate sex on my floor. Hinata: -twitchShino: Dammit, Kiba, you broke her. Sakura: If I was a boy? I dont knowprobably Sasuke still. That kind of love transcends gender Zakura: And you want to have kinky man sex with him Sakura: NO! Zakura: You need to stop lying to yourself bitch, we all saw the tape. Sakura: I dont know what youre talking about. Itachi: OMG!! I dont want to kiss a girl, and Im suffering enough from frap depravation as it is! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?!?!? Pant, pant, pantOrochimaru: Hell never last the next day and a half. Zakura: Ill take that bet. If he doesnt, Ill let you out for a whole chapter to do whatever you please.

Orochimaru: And if he does? Zakura: Then you owe me a favor. Orochimaru: Thats it? Zakura: Yep, one favor, any time I ask, whatever I ask. Deal? Orochimaru: Deal.
Kya! Shikamaru!! Daisuki yo! Shikamarukun shitsumon ga arimasu! Shikamaru no sukina hito wa dare desu ka? Choujikun ka Temarichan desu ka? Oshieru oneigaishimasu! Orochimarusama, ke o totemo gomenesai! Jiraiyasan mou gomenesai. Demo sa okurimono ga arimasu yo. Tada! Orochimarusama ni Redfrog (akai kaeru) no fanfikushon no "End of an Era" kara 'heaa renshonin poshon'o agemasu! (Totemou tanoshii fanfiku desu yo) Yurusu oneigaishimasu. ~Kohaku Kawa

Kiba: What the hell is she speaking? Shikamaru: Thats Japaneseour language Kiba: What the fuck are you talking about? We speak Ninjanese. Everyone besides Naruto: -stares blanklyNaruto: Whats everyones problem? Dont we? Shikamaru: Just, shut up Naruto. Lucifel: I dont even know what the hell shes sayingIm making up shit. Shikamaru: IM GAYwtf? Zakura: You just answered an arbitrarily created question. Shikamaru: She cantdo that Neji: Youre GAY?! Shikamaru: Kind ofbi really. Neji: Well, shit, I totally would have tried to get on you Shikamaru: -twitch-

Orochimaru: I lost my virginity when I was ten. Jiraiya: how?! Orochimaru: Boys will be boys. Me and this one kid were both really curious about sex and BAM Suddenly we were going at it. Kurenai: So you were always a freak? Orochimaru: Pretty much. Zakura: ARG!! Im still pissed that Valentines Day passed and nothing happened!! Gaara: -glances around sketchily- -leans down and kisses LeeLee: -small smile even as he sleepsHaku: Well, we have a date now! March 18. Zabuza-san and I will be getting married! Zakura: -rants about the lack of romanceHinata: AnoZakura-chan, if you feel so bad about it you can have this chocolate bar oka-san gave me. Hands chocolate barZakura: -taking chocolate bar nervously, blushing like crazyhawathankgrgljkzfmgumhwa-faintsKyuubi: So anyway-Blasts classical music-

Ask Sakura 18 Zakura: TURN IT OFF!!! DAMN YOU ALL!! I CANT STAND THIS FUCKING CLASSICAL MUSIC ANYMORE!! WEVE BEEN LISTENING TO IT ALL DAY!!!! Kyuubi: Bitch, dont make me go demon-fox on your ass. I will come out there and smack your bitch-ass self. Orochimaru: Did Kyuubi just talk ghetto-style? Naruto: This keeps really freaking me out Hinata: -eyes Naruto shylyItachi: -is sitting in a corner muttering softly- Itachi wants a frappuccino, yes he does but no, no he cant have itItachis a good boy he wont drink the frappuccino Kurenai: what does he even get if he lasts three days? Zakura: Thats the best part, absolutely fucking nothing. Some ?s for everyone: 1- If u were stranded in a deserted island what would be ur choice of food, drink & reading? This one goes to Naruto-kun: how come ur still hung up over Sakura-san? Y not look at...Lets say Hinata-chan? ^^ Haku: ice cream, lemonade and Edgar Allen Poe!! Zakura: Yup classic Hak--wait, WHAT? Edgar Allen fucking Poe? Haku: -nodsZakura: Oook Zabuza: Drink of choice, water, I dont read anything but my bingo book, and my food of choice would be Haku. Haku: teehee.

Shikamaru: Water, beans and the largest book on philosophy I could find. Naruto: Beans?! Shikamaru: They have pretty much the most of your necessary supplements of any food. Naruto: Ok well, Im not coming to your islandpu Shikamaru: -rolls eyesKiba: Id want meat, coffee and hentai!!! Shino: -rolls eyes- Water, salad, and more of these bug encyclopedias Naruto: Ramen!! And Ramune soda! And umwell, I dont read much Sakura: Ugh, Naruto, youre so dumb! Naruto: -whimperLee: -wakes up suddenly- I would take lots of books aboutsmart things! For I am very brilliant!! Gaara: -disappointed that Lee is out of his lap now.- What are you talking about? Lee: To show Sakura-san how smart I am! I would also bring lots of energy drinks and foods so I can train constantly!! Gaara: pfft, whateverId bring frappuccinos, celery and peanut butter and the Broken Sky series. Zakura: Ok, WTF is Broken Sky, and why the fuck would you bring celery and peanut butter?! Gaara: I like celery and peanut butter. Lucifel: THE BROKEN SKY SERIES FUCKING ROCKS!!!! Gaara: Yep-twitch- who the fuck? Lucifel: -whistles innocentlyOrochimaru: Id want green tea, sushi, and A scroll of all the jutsu ever!! Jiraiya: Id want sake and fried rice, and I dont need reading material so long as I have

writing materialehehe. Kabuto: ugh, anyway, Shikamaru has the food and water down smartly, and honestly some philosophy might be nice. Shikamaru: At least not everyones totally retarded. Kimimaro: Ano, probably tea and rice. Zakura: And to read? Kimimaro: Oh II cant read Kabuto: What? You cant? Kimimaro: noI was never taught as a child and wellfor my life it was never really necessary. Kabuto: Damn. Orochimaru: Ah! I wouldve taught you!! Jiraiya: Yknowthis whole father-complex-but-Im-gonna-screw-you-too thing is a litttttle creepy. Orochimaru: Pff, whatever. Neji: I would want-Kiba: no, no, let me guess. Youd want Sasukes juices for supplement and books on how to be a better whore. Neji: Wellthats better than what I was gonna say. Kiba: -to Shino so hes turned around- Huh, he took that better that I thought he wou--urk -is stabbed in the back by kunaiShino: Yup, he took it real well. Sakura: Id take water and lots of fruit, and Id bring text books!! Zakura: Eugh, you health-conscious brainy WHORE. Id bring some beer and pizza and a lot of hard-core girl-on-girl magazines!! Hinata: Ano, why is Sakura-san split in half?

Shino: you just now noticed? Hinata: -blushKurenai: -sigh- kidsI would bring water and salad Zakura: Are you serious? Kurenai: What? I like saladoh, and I read a lot of spiritual books, so Id probably want some of those. Naruto: Hinata, what would you bring? Hinata: hwa? I have to answer? Zakura: Yeah, its kind of the rule. This place fucking rocks. Hinata: ano wellId bring some tea andummsome sushiandano-mumbleNeji: Huh? Come again? Hinata: Some romance novels-Gasps and covers mouthNeji: Holy SHIT Hinata!!! -starts laughing hystericallyKiba: We-he-ell, Hinatas got a little secret fantasy life, eh? Hinata: No! I didntI meanI dont-covers bright red faceOrochimaru: Soanyone want to make Itachi answer? Itachi: FrappuccinosmusthaveFRAPPUCCINOS!! -foams a little at the mouthEveryone: Naaaah. Naruto: Hinata? Anowell-looks over at Hinata and blushes- shes cute and everything butummI mean Sakura-chan Zakura: He SO wants in Hinatas pants. Naruto: I DO NOT!! Hinata: -blushes harder1. Will you ask Lee-kun if he'll go out with me? I'm a 13-year-old girl with short brown hair and hazel eyes. I'm 5ft 3 1/2in. tall. 2. Why are you so annoying?

Lee, will you go out with me? Please? If you say yes I'll persuade Lucifel to let you out! ( only if it was to go on a date with me that is!) -LeesLover7 PS: -Hands Itachi anger management book- Read this. Zakura: Hmm, hey Lee!! Whats your type? Lee:-is working out- Pink hair and green eyes! And the body type and personality of only one girl!! Zakura: Sorry, outta luck kiddo. Besides, you couldnt persuade Lucifel to let Lee out of here until he and Gaara have kinky sex. Lucifel: Damn straight. Sakura: Ewww! Why!? Lee: Dont be ridiculous! Gaara and I are friends! We wouldnt do something like that. Gaara: -shifty eyesSakura: Oh come on, IM annoying? Have you read some of the stupid fan mail weve got? Zakura: First of all, way to go on being a bitch all by yourself. Sakura: -embarrassed blushZakura: Secondly, girl, Id have to say that at least 60% of people find you FUCKING ANNOYING. Sakura: Oh really? I dont see it. Lucifel: Thats because theyre so common I usually edit it out. Sakura: -crushed- R-really? Lucifel/Zaku: Ayup. Sakura: -sulks over to her sleeping bago.o hehe...sorry Zakura about the whole stabbing you thing. I had sniffed a few sharpies that day :D I am still very sad that Zabuza will not let me plan the wedding -cries- Can I at least come to the wedding? Kankuro is scaring me with his talk of Sandcest. Is there any way to make him stop? You all didn't answer my question last time. Why is Sasuke's

hair shaped like a chicken butt? LEE GIVE UP ON SAKURA! GAARA LOVES YOU! ...oh hi Gaara -wavesBella-QueenOfTehWaffles Zakura: meh, I guess thats a good enough excuse. Its not like theres a kid alive who hasnt gotten high off of white-out or sharpies at some point in their life. Haku: Of COURSE you can come to the wedding! I said all the fans are invited! Zabuza: This is gonna be one crazy weddingif I wasnt already dead it would probably kill me. Orochimaru: Does this make you and Haku necrophiliacs? Zabuza: -raises eyebrowGaara: Nope, Kankurous just kind of like that Kabuto: Well there is one way -flashes kunaiGaara: NO. Fuck you. Kabuto: Too bad Sakura: ugh, just when I start thinking for a creepy villain youre not that bad Kabuto: I try, dear. Sakura: -rolls eyesNaruto: hehehe, Sasukes head is a chicken butt!! Sakura: It is not!! Orochimaru: it so IS! But I cant imagine whyItachi? Itachi: Sasuke? Sasukes goodbut not as good as frappuccinos-twitch, twitchLee: -scooting to the far end of the room away from Itachi- Dont be silly. Gaara and my relationship is not like that! Gaara: -longingly sad look at LeeZakura: So, before we have any more big controversial revealing of flamboyant lovefests

Jiraiya: Waitwhat was the first one? Naruto: Yeah, we havent really had any Zakura: please tell me your not all too drunk to remember that Sakura and Kabuto made out. Saku/Kabu: AAAAAH!!! NOOO!!! Everyone else (besides Lee): WHAT?! Lee: Gah! I had not forgotten butwanted not to think about it! dramatic pose of gloomZakura: Well, while you all freak out about that, AGAIN, Ill continue; Orochimaru: Whats to freak out about? I totally saw it coming. Kurenai: Same here. Zakura: Wow, some people have kept their brains throughout thisI need to fix that. A.H.S: -Peeps an eye from around her chair- Are they gone yet? Sasori: Yes,...Moranasama...All the damn fangirls/boys are gone. A.H.S: -Squeals and pops out, plopping into his lap- Good! Cause I'm gonna kill that fish-face and Deidara! -Grumbles, mourning the catastrophy of her newer appearance, consisting of a navy, way too tight Uchicha shirt and white capris along with shorter, chicken butt-ish hair.- Sasori: But I think you look cute!! A.H.S: Fuck you! Anyways! Before this whole Sasuke transformation prank turns into its own full out slaughter! -Readjusts the thick gold band around her headZakura, Since you chose to accept, Your initiation is to pants everylast person there! Including yourself. Jiraiya...You'll get flashed the moment you get here with the goods in hand. Itachi, Deidara also wants to know If you want any other designs in your room while he paints. -Grumbles about said blond while pulling at the huge ass neck band, flashing a bright red Ai kanji on her neckLastly...Sakura. How would you like to learn a brand new jutsu I've been working on as well as train under me? -couughes, blushingJiraiya: YES!!! FLASHAGE!! Orochimaru: Ooooh, I bet girl Sasuke would be cute Itachi: Hehe, yeahmmm, yummythe cow goes moo. Kiba: Really? I totally thought it barked -rolls eyes- Itachis gotten fucking weird.

Deidara: He was always weirdyeah Kiba: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! Deidara: I am Deidara, master of art. Kiba: Ok Deidara: And member of the Akatsuki. Kiba: AGH!! Gaara: YOU!!! lungesDeidara: -catches Gaaras shoulders and tosses him aside- youre cuteyeah. Dont make me hurt your cute faceyeah. Gaara: -glowersItachi: Its Deidarahes my cats psychologist Deidara: whats wrong with Itachi? Itachi: I cant have themmy preciousand theyre so close I can almost hear them! Deidara: is he talking about Sasukeyeah? Orochimaru: No, Frappuccinos. Deidara: Oh, I can see thatyeah Naruto: GRH! Deidara: ? Naruto: All the yeahs drive me fucking insane!! Deidara: teeheehee Itachi: The duck goes meow Deidara: -sits next to Itachi and pats his shoulder- Yes, Itachi, yes it does. I noticed you had a frappuccino fountainyeah. Why doesnt he drink out of that? Zakura: He cant, the fans requested a three day block from Frappuccinos.

Deidara: Why? Zakura: Probably hoping for this result. Anyway, Ive got business to attend to. snaps finger and everyones pants fall down. Everyone besides Orochimaru are wearing underwear of some sort.Zakura: -glances at Hinata in pink boy-shorts- Dear god-nosebleedHinata: KYAAAAA!! embarrassedly tries to pulls her pants up, trips, and falls down- -sits up cryingNeji/Naru/Kure/Shin/Kiba: -run over to comfort her. Kiba doesnt bother to pull his pants up yetJiraiya: I THINK A SPOTTED A THONG ON KURENAI!! Kurenai: -throws kunaiJiraiya: GAH! gets stabbed in the eyeKurenai: -turns back to Hinata- dont cry sweetie, youll be fine. KIBA! Pull your pants up! Kiba: Im in boxers! Its not a big deal! Kurenai: Bull shit its not. Naruto: -snickers at Kibas tan-lineHinata: -pulls up pants and sniffles-GROUP HUGDeidara: thats kind of grossyeah. Orochimaru: I think its cute!! Deidara:-concerned glance- Youve changedyeah Orochimaru: :3 Zakura: -still distracted by images of Hinatas cute underwearJiraiya: Werent you painting Itachis room for a.h.s.?

Deidara: Why do you think I ran awayyeah? Jiraiya: Ah, I see. Deidara: but yeah, do you want any pretty designs Itachi? Itachi: Ducksand tractorslots of chicken butts Deidara: -snicker- Ok, Ill keep that in mind Zakura: New jutsuyeah sure-still staring at HinataSakura: Zakura!! Im gonna kill you for that pantsing thing!! Kabuto: Cute granny-panties Sakura. Sakura: Cute tidy-whities Kabuto! Kabu/Saku: -GLARETo help you guys get over missing Valentines Day here is a crate full of Godiva chocolates and heart-shaped cream puffs. Itachi: To apologize for the frap ban, I would like to bestow upon you an unlimited giftcard to Starbucks. please forgive me. Question: Is Tobi always a ditz? And would you ever sleep with Kakashi? Haku: Yay your getting married! *throws confetti* As an early wedding gift, youll get a week long stay in the Bora Bora Nui Resort in Tahiti, free of charge(cause your so darn cute), for your honeymoon. The tickets will be waiting for you whenever you get out. Question: What were you thinking before Kakashi ran you through with his Chidori?. Peace out, Fangirl10174 Kurenai: CHOCOLATE!! Zakura: -snaps out of it- Dammit, Kurenai if you hoarde the chocolate one more time Im gonna Kurenai: huh? has already eaten all the chocolateZakura: never mind. Itachi: -takes giftcardand tries to eat-

Deidara: -takes half-chewed card out of his mouth- Now, now Itachi, thats not food yeah. Itachi: I wanna eat the convertible. Deidara: this is an expensive convertible, Itachino eating, yeah? Itachi: Wanna eat itmmm frappuccinosall over my body Deidara: youre lucky youre sexyyeah Itachi: mmmm, frappucinosIm gonna eat Kakashi Deidara: Kakashis kind of sexyyeah Itachi: Kakashis my bitch. Deidara: Well, Tobis my bitch. Itachi: I win. Kakashis not an airheadhe gives me pizza. Deidara: yeah Haku: YAY!! We have honeymoon destination!! Zabuza: Fucking Tahiti? Haku: YAY! Zabuza: Whatever Haku: Oh, and I was only thinking that I had to protect my Zabuza-san. smileDeidara: -thinks- Woah, holy shitthat kids cute KYUUBI-CHAN! YOU ARE SO FUZZY! YAY! heh heh, sorry, i just adore fuzzy animals! amber: eh, ive seen better. whatever. your just jelous. amber: of what? nevermind... anyway, ITACHI! are you really the evolved form of sasuke? OMG! i have gone through my whole life not knowing that! ACK!! hm, then what is the evolved form of you? oh, i have a message for ash: SASUKE HAS 9 ON EVERY ABILITY JACKASS! amber: you think hes hot dont you? huh? god your retarded! i am in luv with sasuke! amber: i thought you were in luv with that other guy? what was his name? hm... well, i love them both! they both have some sort of dark past. i have no freaking clue why

i like em, i am just the opposite of them infact but, oh well. amber: kay... sup everyone? itachi! why dont you have your own organization of super villians? your stupid ember... amber: I CAN KILL YOU WHENEVER I WANT ITCH!! ACK! OKAY!! OKAY! I WILL SHUT UP NOW! DONT KILL ME MASTER!! amber: now, fetch me some coco! YES MASTER! amber: oh yeah. life is good... well, i have to go! bye! Kyuubi: What the fuck? Im not fuzzy you fuckers!! Deidara: was that Kyuubi? Zakura: Yeah, he talks every now and then. Deidara: o.O Itachi: evolved from Sasuke? No, no, the evolve form of Sasuke is Fall Out boy. Orochimaru: -snickerItachi: I DO have a organizationTeam Rocket. Giovannis my bitchI make meowth frappuccinos. Zakura: Hehe, I wonder how Sasukes coping with those two bitches? I like the amber oneHey, while youre at it get me some coco!! Orochimaru: Well, Im sure Itachi hit him hard enough to keep him happy for a while. Deidara: Ohwas he fucking his brother againyeah? Orochimaru: Yeah, you know youre taking all this weirdness pretty well. Deidara: Hello? Mouths on my palms? Orochimaru: Oh yeahheh. OMG!! Deidara: WHAT?!?! Orochimaru: You could jack a guy off AND give a blow job at the same time!!! Deidara: You think Ive never done that before? Orochimaru: WHY DID I LEAVE AKATSUKI?!?!? Lips of an Angel is Hinder, not Nickelback. And Nickelback and Evanescence kick ass

(Hero and Bring Me To Life are my songs!). Just needed to get that out of the way. 1. Gaara, can you turn sand into glass and vice versa? 2. Shino, can your bugs eat demonic chakra, or would it poison them? 3. Kankuro... is still asleep. (instead, steals Karasu, replacing it with one of those 3-anda-half-foot-tall Barbie dolls, and goes on a comedy tour with Karasu) When Kankuro wakes up with a large Barbie doll on his back, that'll be my present. Sorry about the laxatives! Lucifel: Doh! I knew thatshit I guess Nickleback is crap Kimimaro: -mumbling- its not like you didnt know thatI said I love you and I swear I still doand it must have been so badCUZ LIVING WITH ME MUST HAVE DAMN NEAR KILLED YOU!!! Realizes he is no longer singing just to himself-chirp, chirpDeidara: Itachi, stop that chirping. Itachi: Im a lion. Kabuto: damn Kimimaro Kimimaro: -blushblushblushKabuto: youve got a nice singing voice. Kimimaro: huh? Gaara: -whistlesOrochimaru: no shit, I had no clue you could sing like. Kimimaro: Oh II never Haku: YOU HAVE TO SING AT MY WEDDING!!! Kimimaro: W-what? Haku: Here! Come learn my favorite songs!! Kimimaro: Hwa? Zakura: Well that wasnothing out of the norm for here Gaara: AnywayIve never tried, but I bet I could

Shino: No, they couldnt. They would get sick and then yeah, probably die. There are versions of the bugs that eat demon chakra. Kyuubi: I WANT SOME!! Shino: no. Theyre horrible things. Even for bugs. Kankuro: -in his sleep- hehe.snrkTemari Barbie Sakura: Seriously, your brother is really creepy Gaara: yeah Sakura: you knowits weird that the laxative havent kick in y -collective gurgleeveryone: SHIT!!! runs to bathroomsZakura: wellhmm. realizes shes alone in a room with Hinata and blushesHinata: -fidgetsZakura: -fidgets and sighsHinata: -starts playing with her hair. Zakura: -blush-a long time later they all file in moaningSakura: Im gonnakill him Zakura: -shrugs and glances at Hinata againShikamaru I love you! Who do you care for the most right now? Doesn't have to be the one you love. Orochimarusama I love you so much!! I am so sorry about what happened to your hair! can you ever forgive me? And because I get one more thing, here is a set of miscelanious potions- 2 drk orange, 1 neon blue, 4 brown, 4 oily red, 2 yellow, 2 pale green, 2 purple, 2 drk blue. Everyone gets one and the rest go to Zakura Shikamaru: -waves- AnoChoji or my father I guess.

Sakura: What about your mother? Shikamaru: I'm not gonna lie, I get along better with my father. Sakura: Damn, burn on your mother. Orochimaru: Oh hiYOU FUCKING BITCH!!! Jiraiya: But I like your short hair. Orochimaru: Did I tell you lately that I love you, Kawa? OOH!! Ill take the oily red potion!! Naruto: ORANGE!!! Hinata: Ano-takes pale greenDeidara: -takes a red and hands Itachi a purple- Here ya go. Itachi: Frappuccino?...grape frappuccino -drinks potionJiraiya: -takes redKurenai: -takes yellowGaara: -takes neon blueKimimaro: -takes pale greenShikamaru: -takes yellowKabuto: -takes purpleSakura: -takes redShino: -takes redKiba: -takes brownNeji: -takes orangeHaku: -takes brownZabuza: -takes drk blueZakura: So Im left with a blue and a brown? Thrilling

Itachi: I feel like flowers Deidara: what? Its because of that potionyeah Itachi: huh. DisappearsDeidara: fuck, we lost Itachi. NO! My ears! Clasical music, it burns! For the wedding I give Haku beautiful Kimono for the guest, they are Dark red Japanese silk with cherry blossoms printed on them. I have a question for Hinata casue she's so awesome, How do you feel being stuck in a room with a bunch of random homosexuals and a few bi people and Naruto is the only guy who's straight? I'm just curios, besides screwing each other, what are your hobbies? Anyway I hope you guys have fun being tortured by Lucifel From, ~Rose Orochimaru: Hey, Kabuto its your fangirl. Kabuto: Ack! Hide me! Dammit, are there any purple potions left?! Sakura: Yeeees, you took one. Kabuto: What? Oh yeah! drinks- -disappearsItachi: hi. Kabuto: Woah, I can see you? WaitI didnt just go invisible did I? Itachi: nope. And I have no clue where we are. Kabuto: you seem fairlysane. Itachi: The potion tasted vaguely of Frappuccinos, Im good. Kabuto: Heynow that you mention it youre rightbutstillwere kind of in a room full of skeletons. Itachi: -looks around and realizes that they are indeed in a stone room with chains and skeletons in abundance all around- Well, Fuck. -Back in the roomSakura: Kabuto? Itachi? If you guys are around here still you better not be about to cuase any trouble!

Orochimaru: No, no, Itachis rambling has stoppedI think theyre totally gone. Sakura: damnOh well, lets go on. Hinata: What? Oh wellI never really thought they were all gayIm kind of shocked Kiba: No kidding? Really? Shino: Dont be mean. Kiba: -rolls eyesNeji: there are hobbies besides screwing? Kiba: not for you, obviously. Neji: -flips the finger- I was joking, dick-wad. I also play shogi. Shikamaru: -perks up- Wanna play? Neji: And get my ass kicked? sure, why not. -they pull out a shogi board (THANKS KRYAH!!) and set upLee: TRAINING!!! Neji: Of course Zakura: We dont have time for everyone, if anyone has an interesting hobby we didnt already know, go ahead or well move on. Naruto: Im trying to make the perfect ramen! Zakura: Damn you, no ones surprised by your ramen obsession! Haku: I play electric guitar! Everyone: what? Zabuza: I taught himhes pretty damn good. Kiba: Wow, never wouldve thought itwe should jam sometime. Haku: you play guitar?

Kiba: Yeah a lit--Haku: YOU HAVE TO PLAY AT MY WEDDING!!! Kiba: Oh, ok.. Haku: come over here and you and Kimimaro can work together! Kiba: Shino plays piano Shino: DAMN YOU!! Haku: You too!! You can play too!! -they pull Shino overZakura: Anyone else? Deidara: Actually I Zakura: Ok, lets move on. why is everyone in here gay?! Zakura: Technically Naruto, Hinata, Kurenai, Sakura, Jiraiya, Kiba, Kankuro, Kabuto and Shikamaru are all bi. Naru/Saku/Kure: Im STRAIGHT! Zakura: Whatever Hinata: is it true you faint because you think perverted thoughts about Naruto? Itachi: who would have sex with in the Akatsuki if you had to have sex with one of them Kurenai: stop hitting Jaraiya, he cant help it if his senileness causes him to say perverted things love, wewacian Hinata: no! I dont always faint-blushNeji: Besides, she thinks dirty thoughts means thinking about kissing him. Hinata: -blushblushZakura: god DAMN thats cute Itachi: -letter floats in front of his face- huh? reads- Oh, damn, the questions are finding us even here.

Kabuto: -sigh- Of course Itachi: Oh, Deidara probably. Hes sexy enough. Kurenai: Its not his senileness, its just plain, old Jiraiya, Orochimaru: Yeah.hes pretty much always been like that. I'm back and will be giving a presents and present's to be for everybody a Sterio go crazy but you have to listen to these to album's first *tosses Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge and Black Parade CD by My Chemical Romance* some of you might actually like it it's Rock and Emo and kinda has to do with some love or whatever anyway if you don't listen to both Albums all the way through I'll take the Sterio away cause I'm sure nobody there has a CD player. Hinata-Chan glad you're there and since you didn't get any CD's just tell me if you want any. Hinata-Chan when are you going to tell you know who about you know what?*Smirks* Naruto is it possible you're related to Deidara cause you both have blonde hair and Azure eyes? Ooh I forgot one CD *tosses A Death-Grip on Yesterday by Atreyu* you have to listen to that one as well Ja Ne. Zakura: Aw fuck no. No emo. Haku: Aww, but the stereo Kiba: Yeah, itll be nice to have a stereo, its just three cds Zabuza: Im with the chick. NO EMO. Kyuubi: Im fine with the classical music. Shikamaru: how were you playing that if we dont have a stereo? Kyuubi: But I do. In here. Naruto: What the hell?! Kyuubi: Yeah Ive got a pretty nice pad back here, nicer than your shit-hole apartment Hinata: AnoI dont.I mean Naruto: Ne, ne! Who do you have to tell what? You should be bold Hinata! Hinata: -bluuushZakura: ANYwayrelation? Deidara: I can guarantee notyeah

Naruto: Ewww!! Hello everyone, For Kyuubi- I think you totally rock and you have made become a little obsessed with demon foxes. So my question who do you think would win in a fight between you and Youko Kurama/Shuichii Minamono? For Kiba- I wanted to say that I love you and your one of my favorites and I think your totally hot. My problem is my dad doesn't like my dog and threatens to give him away to people though he is never serious if he actually did would you keep him for me? For Gaara- I LOVE YOU! I think ur so sexy and hot, ur also the background on my computer so I get to see u everyday. *Glomps quickly* Can I have your autograph? Kyuubi: Eh, Yokos pretty tough, and maybe back in his prime he coulda done something but nowadays with all his human shit holding him downnot so much. Kiba: Yeah! About time I got so more loving! Of COURSE Id take your dog! Shino: -rolls eyes- Cant imagine WHY you have fans Kiba: Shinodont hate me-puppy eyesShino: -ignoresKiba: -whimpersGaara: Gah! NO HUGGING! Go away! Zakura: I think thats a no bitch. yea I gots a question for kimmimaro 1. do you think that you and tayuya will ever be together, 'cos i saw some fics about u two and on deviant there was one where you two r making out passionately on sum hill. 2. for orochimaru-you were actually quite cool as a little kid, heck my stepsis thought u were hot. why do u not wear underwear? 3 kurenai-did u know kakashi gave u a nickname in a fic i read quite recently, it was kuku-chan, nd u nd anko got into a catfight over him. so do u hav a thing for kakashi?? cos he keeps mentioning u nd sum baby. Kimimaro: Uhno way in hell. Orochimaru: Come on, I think youd be cute Kimimaro: I dontgo that way

Orochimaru: KYA! YAY! Jiraiya: -rolls eyesOrochimaru: Ohthe underwear thing. Yeah, I usually do wear underwear but I got brought here on laundry day and Kabutos lazy ass hadnt done the laundry yet. Kabuto: ACHOO!! HuhI feel insulted for some reason Itachi: Eh, theyre probably just making fun of you as usual. Kabuto: Whatever. Suddenly, a loud all-powerful voice said: You find yourself in a stone room with chains on the wall and skeletons scattered about. What do you do? Kabuto: What the fuck? Why do you care? Who the fuck are you? Itachi: I dunno butI suddenly have a strong urge to loot skeletons Kabuto: Weirdme too. But why would there be loot on the skeletons of prisoners? -They lootOminous voice: You find nothing on the skeletons. Kabuto: I knew we wouldnt! What the hell? Ominous voice: What else would you like to do? Kabuto: Aww, shit now I have an urge to kick down the door. Ominous voice: Youre the cleric, why would YOU kick down a door? Kabuto: I DONT KNOW!! And Im not a fucking cleric! Gasps- oh no Itachi: -kicks doorOminous voice: the door opens easily into a long, dark hallway. -The door opens on to a long dark hallwayItachi: -turning back to Kabuto- What about oh no? Kabuto: -going paler- Werein a D&D campaign

DUN DUN DUNNNN Kurenai: Aww, shit, yeah he read that too and now he wont leave me alone with the damn ku-ku-chan shitand trust me, neither Anko nor I are into Kakashi. Zakura: Youre both lesbian? Kurenai: You wish. Zakura: Yes I do. Yay you liked the kiss! Now Im very happy! Now Kyuubi have you had a wife? Shikamaru do you actually wish Neji was your bitch? And finally Orochimaru was your mom a snake? See you all later! Lucifel: FUCK YEAH I liked the kiss!! Lee: How does one kiss a voice? Lucifel: Im not fucking disembodied. Lee: SO you can be found! Searches againLucifel: Good luck dumbass Kyuubi: No wife, but lotsa bitches Zakura: Hell yeah, Kyuubis a playa Kyuubi: Damn straight bitch. Shikamaru: I actually dont. Thats game, Nejiagain. Neji: Dammit! Best seven outta ten? Shikamaru: sure. Orochimaru: No but your mom was fucking a snake. I had to save him because she was suffocating the poor thing. Jiraiya: Youre really taking this personally arent you? Orochimaru: What? No. If I was Id mention that his/her mom has a snake growing is you know what I mean. Jiraiya: -_-

Lee-san: insult Gai-senpai/Sakura ( u choose) Naruto-san Stay quiet for three days since u didn't get a Valentine's is it ok if I hug u? * hugs Zakura* l4t3r!! whatthehellwasithinkin Lee: -GASP- I-I cant! Zakura: Y-you have to! Lee: ButBut Zakura: Just insult Gai! Hes not even here! Lee: IfineGai is not as youthful as he thinks he is! Zakura: -rolls eyes- What a burn Lee: I feel dirty. Naruto: NO! I REFUSE!! Zakura: You have to. Naruto: But I Zakura: -slaps- SHUT UP BITCH! Naruto: Ill only do this if you treat me to ramen when its over. Zakura: Fine, but if you slip up even once you owe me stimulation. Naruto: W-what? Zakura: You heard me! We gotta deal? Naruto: -nods and they shake handsZakura: Great. Ill be keeping my ears open.oh, and sure, go ahead. Accepts hugShino: Oh GOD, all this leet is driving me crazy! Kiba: Wh4t, n00b? Shino: Bitch of you Kiba: I thought you were ignoring me.

Shino: Idamn you! Turns away againKiba: -satisfied chuckleJiraiya: Now that your officially gay, Kakashi,who is right next to me,wants to know if you will now be writing about men insted of women in your book "makeout paradise".(u were doing it w/ Orochimaru-chan) Sakura:ok...how am i gonna say this... GET IN KABUTO'S PANTS! I know you want to... *shifty eyes**wiggles eyebrows* Zakura: U ROCK! -throws giant cookieI love death metal and alternate too! -Sarafina day! Jiraiya: IM NOT GAY!! Orochimaru: But you are bi. Jiraiya: Nooooo Orochimaru: Yesssss Jiraiya: -moan- either way I will always be writing about women! ALWAYS!! Orochimaru: Aww Sakura: Gross, never. Zakura: Youre just pissed because you couldnt. Sakura: Bull SHIT I couldnt. Zakura: Whatever munches giant cookieI have some questions and Lucifel what timezone are you in because in my timezone the friken chapter didn't get reales until 1:00AM I waited. Zakura: If you know all the things Sakura has ever thought has she ever had any "bad" thoughts about anyone exept Sasuke who is gay Sakura: You and Kabuto can't get together its weird don't do Kabutos in love with your archenemy that would be majorly inconvient

Hinata: What are your views on hyugacest? Lucifel: USA central timeI think it was like eleven or so here Zakura: Oh HELL yeah. Kakashi, Asuma, Kabuto, Kiba Sakura: STOP IT!! Zakura: Yeah, basically a lot of people. Sakura: And in any case Kabuto and me are not getting together! Hes not even here right now! Zakura: Ehehe, no hes not Sakura: Why? Where is he? Zakura: Oh no idea-snickerSakura: -worried- Wellwhatever Hinata: Whats Hyuugacest mean? Neji: When people draw/write about us making out. Hinata: -blushes- No! I meanwe dontI Neji: Calm down, you know Im gay. Hinata: -phewV\Aw,

Kyuubi doesn't like hugs! Maybe he likes belly rubs, or a scratch behind the ears? *gives both* There ya go! Heheh, I love it that you can't do a DAMN THING to me, but I can pester you all I like. Just know that I have the utmost respect for you as a master of destruction, death and general unpleasantness. 1) Haku! What... kind of ice cream do you like? I will drop off a sculpture of your favorite flavor in the shape of a snow-covered mountain for the wedding. 2) Naruto, you haven't been asked many questions lately, so here's one for ya. Why the hell are you still trying to get Sasuke back? He fuckin stabbed ya in the lung with a Chidori. You should pretty much just take him out next time you see him, get rid of your competition for Sakura. And since it's either gifts or presents now, here's a kimono for someone to wear. The overall color is a very soft blue, with some very smooth, relaxing white wind patterns, and

green leaves floating across on the patterned breeze. It can be tailored to either male or female style, so whoever wants it. My Best! Khellan Rafe P.S. Can I come to t3h wedding? Kyuubi: Im gonna KILL this fucker!! Zakura: I think hes hilarious. Kurenai: Hell YEAH hes hilariousand sexy!! Jiraiya: Youve never even SEEN him! Kurenai: Hes six-foot strapping navy man, WHAT MORE DO I NEED TO KNOW?! Haku: Yay! Ice cream! I like peppermint and fudge! Zabuza: You only need one mountain Haku Haku: I know, I like them together! Zabuza: butno one else will eat that! Haku: Thats ok, Ill eat it myself! Zabuza: And why dont I doubt that you will Haku: XD Naruto: -shrugsZakura: He doesnt really care that much about Sasuke. Naruto: -kicks ZakuraZakura: You little fucker! Lunges onto him and beats his ass upHaku: KYA! Kimono! ButI dont need it Zakura: -grabs it and runs over to Hinata- I-IThink thatuhy-you shouldw-wear this

Hinata: Oh kya! Cute Kimono! Runs off to put it onZakura: Cuteyeah-faintsLucifel: Thats it for this update! And btw, those everybody questions take up WAY too much time, so Id like you to cut back on those, or Ill just not have everyone answer and pick who ever has the most interesting thing to say. You are all being so AWESOME!! So, I leave you until next weekend! (CAN YOU BELIEVE I UPDATED ON FRIDAY NIGHT?!) What will happen to Kabuto and Itachi? Will Gaara and Kimimaro ever admit their feelings to the ones they love? What do the other potions do? Will Kabuto and Sakura do it like they do on the discovery channel? Stay tuned to find out!!

Ask Sakura 19 Orochimaru, why the hell are you so damn sexy and how do you keep Jaraiya off you? and to Zakura, -hands box full of lesbian-esque things- and uh...there's a bottle of water in there that will turn ANYONE gay/lesbian so...use it wisely Orochimaru: I cant help being sexy. Its just how I amIm a lucky bastard. Jiraiya: Im not even trying to get ON him! Orochimaru: Oh bull shit. Sakura: Is anyone else worried about Itachi and Kabuto? Everyone: -blank stare- nnnno Kimimaro: wait, what? Kabutos gone? Orochimaru: Ouch, burn, now come on I know you miss him Kimimaro: No seriously, Haku was distracting meKabutos gone? Orochimaru: -nod, nodKimimaro: -small whimperGaara: -pats shoulderZakura: Sweet! Look at all this great stuff!! Kiba: -thinks- hmm, Im very thirstyoh! A water bottle! DrinksZakura: -twitch- Kibadid you just do what I think you did? Kiba: Drink a bottle of water? Zakura: You have to die now. Pulls out multitudes of kunai-

Kiba: eep Zakura: GRAH!!!! AttacksI bet Naruto wont make it to 3 days!! haha! i bet 12 boxes of chocolate in fact! sakura and kabuto, sittin in a tre k-i-s-s-i-n-g! haha! sorry anywayamber: JUST GET TO YOUR DAMN QUESTIONS ALREADY!! i need to use the comp. sup all? shut up. anyway KYUUBI!! dont deny it, you are so fuzzy! -pets- haha! anyway, i let sasuke go free in a pokemon preserve, does anyone think he will survive an angry pikachu and volpix working together? i dunno, OMG! HE IS FOREVER CALLED COCKATOO-CHAN! I LUV COCKATOO-CHAN! zakura!! stay away from hinata! Hillarious Tragedy Naruto: -flips the birdSakura: Naruto, be polite. Naruto: -glaresZakura: -while punching Kiba repeatedly in the mouth- Or Ill kick your ass. Naruto: -poutsSakura: H.T!! Leave me alone about Kabuto or I wont like you anymore!! Zakura: oh, god forbid Sakura: hmpf Kyuubi: IM NOT FUCKING FUZZY!! I can prove it!! lots of red smoke, and explosions and then, as the smoke thins, you can hear evil cackling, red glowing eyes, and it disperses to revealCHIBI KYUUBI! Everyone: -snickerKyuubi: -looks around and realizes he is about two feet tall, and very, very fuzzy- Godammit. Zakura: -finally dropping Kiba- Bwuhahahaha!! Nice Kyuubi! Way to be terrifying! Kyuubi: Shut up! Just shut up! I cant help it! I have limited power!! Zakura: Oh, ok, yeah, you tell yourself that. Kyuubi: I hate all of you!

Kiba:-while spitting teeth and blood- Arent you a little too cute to hate? Kyuubi: Youre all going to die. Orochimaru: Ooh, ooh, Are you going to cuddle us to death? Kyuubi: Leave me aloooone. Jiraiya: Aww, are you going to cwy? Kyuubi: Can we just move on to the bit about Sasuke? Zakura: Yeah, yeah, sure. Im sure Sasukes going to be finesort of. I mean, hes got Chidori, which is like, a mega thunder bolt. He should be fine-snicker- yeah right Sakura: Sasuke will be fine!! Zakura: Oh yeah right. Hell probably get it on with an Arboc Sakura: -cringeDeidara- OMG I am so glad your there, cause you totally awesome and rock my socks. Anyway if you were gonna bang someone in the Akatsuki who would it be? Hinata- I am glad that your there too, your my fav female ninja! Do you like anyone besides you know who? Kyuubi- I totally agree that you could kick Youko's butt. Do you like Naruto or do you just think he some irratating prison cell? Luv ya all...well almost all! BYE!! Deidara: Well, I used to like Sasori a lot, butyou know-sigh- So anyway, now Id totally ride Itachiin fact, I haveyeah Orochimaru: Oh hes crazy in bed, ne? Deidara: Ph totally, makes me feel really good you knowyeah.. Orochimaru: oh for sure. Itachi: Huh Somehow I get the feeling Im being talked about sexually. Kabuto: Why do you get to be talked about sexually and I get insulted? Itachi: Because Im so much hotter than you. Kabuto: Lies.

Itachi: Pfft, whatever. DM (previously known as ominous voice): So, what do you do? Itachi: Well, I suddenly have the urge to sneak down the shadows of this corridor. Kabuto: Isnt it all shadows? Itachi: Hey, its pretty obvious Im not making the choices here. DM: Ok, so you sneak through the shadows of the COMPLETELY DARK tunnel Kabuto: This sucks so much assgod, now the corridors getting damp. Itachi: If this turns out to be a sewage pipe I will NOT be happy. Hinata: -adorable innocent smile- I like a lot of people! Kiba: -nudge- Hinata they mean like that. Hinata: -blush- ohanonotreally-blushblushblushZakura: -nosebleedKyuubi: I think Naruto has potential. But overall, hes just a stupid fuck, Naruto: -glowerGaara: I dont think hes a stupid fuck. Hes actually quite innovative in bed. Naruto: O.o Zakura: Seriously? Naruto: -shakes head franticallyGaara: -snickering- do you hear him denying it? Zakura: -smirking- I do not. Gaara: Well, there you go. Naruto: -starts trying to choke GaaraGaara: -Gack-see? He likes it rough!

Naruto: -gives up and poutsOrochimaru: Whats this almost all shit? Jiraiya: Aww, are you getting sensitive about all the people that hate you? Orochimaru: I AM NOT! Jiraiya: Oh sure Dear Everyone, Great Story! Can't wait until the update, I have questions/comments/gifts for just about everyone. Kyuubi: Since I don't think you can quite properly torment -everyone- locked up, I've come up with a plan! Bites his thumb, drawing blood, and does a bunch of hands signs, before slamming his hand to the ground Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Kyuubi no Kitsune! Poof of smoke goes off revealing..Kyuubi!; Looks like a girl thoguh, covered in red, fiery fur, Crimson eyes, and 9 awesome tails Sorry about you looking like a girl, if you're really not, it's jsut how the Jutsu I have to use works...everything I summon ends up a girl...To make up for it, I've given you the powers of Zakura...Oh! And -no- killing, or you go back to the sewer! Naruto: First: I temporarily remove your ban, but -only- for my questions...Zakura, do anything, and I don't -care- how powerful you are, I will drain you of -all- your powers, and throw you to giant male tentacle monsters of guro like nature...Second: I dare you to make-out with Hinata for 5 minutes, stopping only to breath, and compliment Hinata. And would you mind if I dropped by in person to drop my gifts off in person? I look -sorta- look like a mix between Kenshin ((Rurouni Kenshin)) and Iruka, only no scars, hair is brown, and tied in a shoulder-ponytail, and I wear somewhat normal clothing, most of the time...However, for you guys, I'll wear my battle kimono, since it fits more. Snaps fingers, clothes change from shirt, pants, and shoes, to -really- dark blue, with black edges, and a sharingan-red sash battle kimono, with a normal katana hanging off his hip, tied to another sash, -very- dark green this time, that is also tied around his waist There, That's more fitting...anyhow, until I see you, Ja nae! And have fun! Kyuubi: UmmIm still here. Zakura: Yeah, but youre a girl. Kyuubi: -realizes he is indeed, a cat-girl now, sultry woman voice and everything- I really hate my lifeI never should have come out. Zakura: Im personally enjoying myself. Kyuubi: Nooooo.

Zakura: oh, yes. Kyuubi: damn you all. Zakura: Im sorry, Naruto, I cant allow this guy to remove your ban. The fans think they can do anythingthey cant. Not in MY world BITCHES!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! Naruto: -mopesZakura: but you knowhis dare still stands. Naruto: O.o Hinata: -is blissfully unawareNaruto: -shakes headZakura: You have from three Naruto: -sweatsZakura: THREETWOONEGO!!! Naruto: -jumps on HinataHinata: HRGMFJKZXLYINGSHTEKYTHTNDP?!?!?!?! Kiba/Neji/Kure/Shino: O. -the four afore mentioned begin to violently pull Naruto off her and kill himZakura: -is laughing hystericallyKurenai: NARUTO!! YOU EXPLAIN YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!! Kiba: OR ILL FUCKING CASTRATE YOU!!! Naruto: -still cant speak to explain himselfKiba: -pulls out kunai- Ok then Hinata: Kiba no! Im sure he had a reason! I-I meanumhe cant talk so Neji: Hinata, I understand you like Naruto and all, but still, you cant just let him do that. Hinata: Cant you all just wait until he can talk again?

Kiba: He could talk if he really wanted to defend himself. Shino: If it was either silence or pleasuring Zakura sexually what would you choose? Kiba: fine! Whatever! Zakura: HEY!! Naruto: -thankful/apologetic look at Hinata, who looks away embarrassedlyKimimaro: ano, why is no one doing anything about Kabuto? and Itachi? Orochimaru: -wry smirk- Why dont you go looking for him? Zakura: OOO!! Thats a great idea!! Everyone: What? Zakura: They could use three more playersand that would make a good rescue team Kiba: W-what are you muttering about? Zakura: WHO WANTS TO GO ON A CAMPAIGN?!?! Everyone: -steps back franticallyZakura: -sighs- Fine, well do this diplomatically. Since we do technically need to get them back Everyone: -shake headsZakura: Were gonna draw straws. Everyone: NO!! They can die! Kimimaro: Actually I Zakura: SHUT UP BITCHES! Were gonna draw some fucking straws! Naruto: -holds up picture of a strawZakura: dont try to be funny. Ok, there will be three short straws. Hold on while I cut them up. -a few horrible minutes later-

Zakura: -evil smile- ok, draw. -One by one they draw all the straws -all of them- out of her handZabuza: Oiwhy dont you have a straw? Zakura: What? Oh well, no time to cut more! Ok, reveal! Zabuza: -rolls eyesThe short straws belong to: GAARA!!! LEE!!! AND!! KIMIMARO!!!!! Lee: YOSH! I can do this! I am the best choice for a rescue mission!! Gaara: -thinks while scowling- wellso long as Im with Lee I guess thats ok Kimimaro: -small, happy smileZakura: Ok, heres the deal. In order to get into this world, you have to become the characters for the players, that means youll have to do as the players command you to in accordance with the DM. You will be able to hear the DM but not the players. Somehow, through this way you have to find Itachi and Kabuto, at this point you can run off on your own and find the gateway back to here which will be on the lowest level of the dungeon. All of this will be done in the dungeon where theres lots of monsters to kill and treasure to find. Youll probably have to level up in order to make it through all the levels. Of course the DM had to be all witty and make the dungeon a maze. You have four days. Any questions? Gaara: I didnt catch a word you just said Lee: -raises handZakura: yes, Lee? Lee: What happens if we dont make it within the time limit? Zakura: You miss Hakus wedding.

Haku: -gasp- But I need Kimimaro to sing for me! Kimimaro: Dont worry, Ill be back in plenty of time. Zakura: Ok, so, Lee youre a fighter, Kimimaro youre a magic-user, and Gaara youre a psion. Gaara: A what? Lee: YOSH! I am the greatest fighter ever! I will show no mercy! Kimimaro: -muttering to Gaara- What do you see in him? Gaara: Quiet, you, I find his immaturity endearing. Kimimaro: -rolls eyesZakura: Here are your character sheets hands out character sheets- Youll need these for when you break out of player control. You all ready? Gaara: Aside from the fact that I understood NONE of that, sure, why not? Zakura: All right, well, well send you poor dumb fuckers off then. Kimimaro: Ummhow? Zakura: By means of a purple potion, of course. Kimimaro: Werent there only two of those? Zakura: -shrugs- So we mix a red and blue. Shikamaru: Im sorry, Ive stood to the side of this stupidity for too long. There is no WAY that will really work. Youre more likely to cuase a deadly explosion than actually create the same effects of a purple potion. Zakura: What do you know about D&D? Shikamaru: D&D or not it just doesnt make sense! Zakura: Oh yeah? Sakura give me your red potion! Sakura: What? NO! This is stupid Zakura: -steals red potion-

Sakura: HEY! Zakura: Suck it up pussy. takes her blue potion and the red potion and mixes them both in an empty frappucino cup. With a poof of thick black smoke it turns purpleGaara: That smoke was kind of disheartening Zakura: DRINK UP! Who wants to go first? Kurenai: You guys know shes just trying to kill you off right? Lee: OOOH! OOH!! I will go first! drinks a big gulp, pauses, lets out a horrible scream and disappearsGaara: -twitchZakura: Well, looks like it worked. Shikamaru: Yeah looks like it worked to completely evaporate Lee! Zakura: Whatever, Gaara? Gaara: theres no WAY Im drinking that. Kimimaro: Ill do it. Gaara: Are you SHITTING me? Youre willing to drink that? Kimimaro: This place sound dangerousI want to make sure Kabutos all right. Gaara: Your devotion is sickeningall right, lets do it together. Zakura: -smirking, she pours half into a different cupGaara: One Kimimaro: Two Zakura: THREE!! -They drink, pause to savor the slight frappucino taste and then disappearZakura: awww, its no fun when they dont scream. Oh and btw, Im sorrywell, no Im really notanyway, the point is if we let one fan visit theyll all want to get in here. And I am NOT dealing with that shit.

Neji: Damn you! He sounded sexy! Everyone Stop calling Sakura useless, if it wasn't for her in the later manga, then Gaara would be dead by now. Sasori would be alive (The HORROR! He's kind of cute) If you called Sakura useless and annoying, then we wouldn't have any main character to represent FEMALE! And if we replace her, then that would be bad. Because we need each of everyone's personality to make "Naruto" to exist. Sakura: Why can't you give up on Sasuke? He's a stupid bastard and you know it. Stop lying and admit that you won't like Sasuke in the later chapters. Why can't you like Naruto, he's the one saving you. Just give the Uchiha up. (No offense, my opinion) Neji: You know you like Tenten. Sure, might as well say I'm gay and she's a teammate. Whatever, if you are gay, spar with Lee than. So why don't you like Tenten? Stop saying that most of the girls are weaklings. Throws random food at people -RinoaZakura: but seriously, she is. Naruto: -shakes headSakura: I am not! Dammit, Tsunade didnt train me to be a weakling! Naruto: -punches air enthusiasticallyJiraiya: you know guys; Sakura really is a good kunoichi Zakura: Bull. Sakura: Grr, anyway, I thought we were screening these why dont you give up on Sasuke questions? Zakura: We get so many the occasional one slips by. Sakura: -frustrated sigh- any way, Sasuke and I are meant for each other! Zakura: God, you make me sick. Neji: Whos Tenten? Shino: Not this again Kiba: For real Neji, by now even I remember who she is.

Neji: well whoever she is I bet shes not up to my bed-mate standards. Kiba: -raising eyebrows skeptically- You have standards? Neji: fuck you. Kiba: And everyone else in the world. Neji: -seetheEveryone: YAY! RANDOM FOOD! (Deidarayeah) Meanwhile Gaara: Huh, that wasnt too painful Kimimaro: Why did you scream Lee? Lee: For the dramatic effect of course! Kim/Gaa: -crickets chirpGaara: you are so weird DM: You are standing in a dark hall way, what do you do? Kimimaro: Why do I have a sudden urge to attack the darkness? Gaara: What? Lee: Good idea! Who knows what might be hiding in the darkness?! Runs forward kicking and punchingKimi/Gaa: -look at each other, shrug, and followhugs hakuCongrats! I wiil made cookies home-made by me to you wedding! Orochimaru: Do you have a lor of cute bisexual and gay people at your hands, why don't you ejem get "nasty" if you what i'm mean?glares Zabuza: gives him a book called"How to deal with fans how love your fiancee"Good Luck ATTE Fallen Angel Haku: Yay! Cookies! Oh, but by the way, I still need more options for the guest kimonos. I already have mine picked out. (Kryahs)

Orochimaru: Im working on Jiraiya right nowonce I get fully screwed by him in a sober state, then hell yes Ill be using the others. Itachi and I already had a blast Jiraiya: O.O scoots away slowlyDeidara: I wish I had gotten to him before he disappearedyeah Zabuza: Oh, I know how to deal with fans -grips sword threateninglyOrochimaru: Oooh, you can threaten me with your sword any time. Zabuza: o.O Yay! Um I have a question, Why ARE all of you gay? Are you all on some gay hormone or something? Naruto: -shakes headKurenai: Dammit, Im not gay. Naruto: -points at Kurenai and nodsKurenai: Naruto, I am not! Jiraiya: He was agreeing with you Kurenai: OhWhatever. Lucifel: Theyre all gay because thats how they werent meant to beseriously, I promise Im not leaking yaoi gas into the room or anything Naruto: O.O Zakura: Y aren't u beening controlled by Sakura? Like y go wild? Aren't u also Sakura or something? O.o Orochimaru: Y the hell u fuck people so often? And have u fucked every person in the hidden sound village? If no then r u sure? Shikamaru: Don't u love Ino or something? Zabuza: How long have u dated Haku?? Haku: R u sure Zabuza is ur type?? (sweatdrop) Kiba: U do know that ur dog is with Ino right? Shino: R u gay 2?? Kimimaro: R u gay like everyone else?? o.O Zakura: I WAS while I was in her mind. But because Of the rules of this room, I can become completely separate from her.

Orochimaru: I do it because I enjoy it! And not EVERYONE, no, Im far to busy for that. Plus I often end up with Sasuke instead of someone new Shikamaru: Ino? No. Were good friends but thats it. Neji: Oh, bull shit. Shikamaru: No, really, were just friends. Kiba: So youre gay? Shikamaru: I can be just friends with a girl and not be gay! Shino: But you said you were. Shikamaru: Im actually bigod, youre all so troublesome! Zabuza: Calm down kid, dont have a seizure. Anyway, I dont know if you would call it datingbut we started being together sincewellum Haku: Only a few months after a joined him. Kurenai: Werent you liketen? Haku: Something like that. And Im quite positive hes my type. In fact, hes the only person Ive ever been attracted to. Kurenai: -disgusted look at ZabuzaZabuza: -blushes embarrassedlyDeidara: Wa, who knew Zabuza could blush? Pretty cuteyeah Zabuza: Oh fuck you all. Kiba: You left Akamaru with INO?! Shikamaru: Hell be a fur stole in no time Kiba: NOOOO!!! Shino: Yes, I am gay. Not bi. Gay. Kiba: And MINE! glompsShino: -dodges-

Kiba: -faceplants the floor- oww -As Kimimaro and Gaara continue following the darkness-fighting Lee, something starts brushing against Kimis armKimimaro: dammit. Whats this piece of paper rubbing against my arm? Gaara: A question probably. Kimimaro: Well I cant read it in the dark. -The page glowsGaara: Well damnthey really thought of everything to make us answer Kimimaro: Oh-blush- yes. Gaara: What was the question? Kimimaro: N-nothingyou already mostly knew anyway -THUNK Lee: AnoI actually kicked something -Grumble- -two small red eyes open in the darknessGaara: Shit A.H.S.: You know...-cocks her head to the side, looking in the mirror- This look works for me...!! -Suddenly pouts- Though I now know why Sasuke went the jockey route..shudders- Sasori: Same here..-cuddles causing her to blush- A.H.S.: -coughes- Anyhow... Deidara! You better get back here soon!! We need a third!! We wanna try a sharingan user threesome with you and Saso-kun using henge! -Coughes- And My nails need to be redone! 1) Itachi...What are on all the tapes I found under the clothes in your closet? 2) Hey Oro-kun! -Hands an album full of neko sasu-chan pics- Do you prefer Itachi over Sasuke? 3) -Giggles blushing while haanding Zakura an album of personal photos of self as well as a whip- The whip as promised! If you could have a harem, who would be your top five? Sasori: Hey!! Those were mine damn it! A.H.S: -Gold turns to the dreaded Mangekyou- Shut it! Sasori: -Le gasp- Your an..! A.H.S: -mutters- yeah yeah...I'm twins with emo boy...Big damn deal! Well..Later peeps! Deidara: But I JUST did your nailsyeah. But Threesomes sound funyeah.

Zakura: Yeah, IF you can get out of here. Deidara: -- Itachi: Fuck, another letter. Reads it and blushes- oh umm, those are justuh birthday videos, from when Sasuke and I were kids Kabuto: Thats the biggest load of bullshit Ive ever heard. Itachi: -blushes harder- The thing isgah, dont tell anyone but its trueI just think he looks so adorable in those tapes! Kabuto: You are really sick you know that? Itachi: I do. Why am I checking my inventory for a torch of some sort? Kabuto: I dont know. I mean you dont have anything do you? Itachi: -pulls out torch- I apparently do. Kabuto: Weird. Itachi: but umhow do I light it? Kabuto: Fire jutsu? Itachi: I tried. It didnt work. Kabuto: Well bring it over here, I for some reason feel like I have flint rocks in my pocketyep, there they are. -they light the torch and hold it up. They are in a large, round-shapes pinkish corridor, which is constantly oozing saliva-like secretionItachi: Sohow long have we been walking down the throat of a random monster? -GROWWWWLKabuto: Shit! Shit! The fire is bothering it! Turn it off!! Itachi: But weve got to get out of here! Kabuto: That doesnt matter! Well just turn around and go back! Itachi: But what if?

Kabuto: Itll fucking SWALLOW us Itachi! Turn it off! -They grapple for it, and up dropping it, still burning, onto the inside of its throatKabuto: Way to fucking go. Orochimaru: KYA!! More pictures!! And no way! Sasuke is much cuter! And I prefer the role of seme. Runs to a corner- with the albumZakura: EEEE!! YAY!! brandishes whip- Ooo, Jiraiya, youre really gonna enjoy your paymentShes sexy. Jiraiya: LEMME SEE!! Zakura: No way! These are secret positions that men must never find out women can do! Jiraiya: -whimper- I wanna see Zakura: NO! Locks herself in the pool room to dostuffYo! Back again. Hope you all are havin a good time in the Room. Oh, except Kabuto and Itachi who are... well... Best not to dwell on that! By the way, Kyuubi, you might wanna just start checkin' that attitude. I'm pretty much invincible where you're concerned, plus... I know your weakness. And don't think I'm below telling everyone in that room what it is, solely for my own entertainment. The only thing holding me back is my respect for a fellow badass. Mkay? 1) For Hinata, why are you so shy? The way I see it, you're from the main branch of a very prestigious family. You've got no reason for low self esteem. 2) Kurenai, not to put you on the spot or anything, but WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD SEX WITH? Heheh, I'm sure no one'll tease you. 3) F1n4lly, f0r 5h1n0, wh47'5 w17h t3h 4n71-L337 47717ud3 (translation: what's with the anti-leet attitude)? I'll drop the ice-cream mountain off before the wedding, 'k? Don't want it to melt! 'Till next time, everybody. Pain In Kyuubi's Ass, Khellan Rafe Kyuubi: Y-you wouldnt! Damn you! Zakura: -poking her head out of the pool room- I know it too. Just so you know.

Kyuubi: what? How?! Zakura: Because Im doing Lucifels job of keeping you all in check, I know everyones everything. Everyone: O.O Hinata: Oh wellI mean, Ive never been as good at being a kunoichi as Hanabi, and I felt guilty about the whole second-family thingand I meanIm not very pretty or funny or anything Zakura: -running out- Who the fuck told you that? Youre fucking gorgeous! And like the nicest fucking person ever! Hinata: Z-zakura-san Zakura: -bluuuush- AnywayumKurenai? Kurenai: -snickering- Oh, oh yeah. Dear god, thats a little personal. Jiraiya: So long as it wasnt Gai Kurenai: No! Muttering- But I wish Kiba: Eww! I dont wanna know that! Kurenai: You didnt have to listen! Kiba: Whatever keep it to yourself. Kurenai: ANYway, the last time I had sex was while I was married to Asuma. Kiba: Eww! You were married to Asuma?! Kurenai: for about two years, yes. Shino: But you didnt say it was Asuma that you last slept with. Kurenai: It wasnt. It was Kotetsu. Kiba: Who? Kurenai: One of those two random chunin that are always hanging around, you know? Kiba: the one with the thing over his nose?

Kurenai: yep. Kiba: I thought he was together with Izumo? Kurenai: He is NOW, he was having trouble accepting his feelings, and my marriage was falling apart. It just kind ofhappened. Jiraiya: So you screwed a gay man? Kurenai: He wasnt gay when I slept with him! And so what if he was? Zakura: Its just means youre just that sexy. Shino: -twitch- I have been trying really hard to deal with it butgod DAMN must you be so annoying? Whats wrong with using proper language? It BARELY shortens words! If at all! Its stupid! Theres no point to it! Zakura: Geez, calm down kid. Shino: The human language is going to the dogs!! Kiba: I havent gotten any human language lately. Shino: -- You think youre really cute dont you? Kiba: -smileShino: -sighomg Hinata joined! i hav a question for her. Why do u like naruto? for naruto why won't you notice hinata, she's reli cool! c'mon stop grovelling about sakura and go for hinata, cos sakura was lyk made for kabuto, hehehehehehehehehe. for itachi - i read this fic about u nd neji getting down dirty together, how do u feel about that? Hinata: ohumbecause hes so strong despite his hard life andand because he wants to follow his own way of life no matter what Kiba: Sure, thats why you admire him. But why do you liiiike him? Hinata: Kyaa!! Blushes and hidesNaruto? Zakura: They want to know why you dont want to get in Hinatas pants,

Naruto: -blushes and shrugs sheepishlySakura: I was NOT made for Kabuto! UGH! Kabuto: ACHOO!! Itachi: Someone talking about you again? Kabuto: that, or it could be the fact that Ive walked around this damn maze for a good half hour now, covered in monster spit. Itachi: Hey, I got us out of there didnt I? Kabuto: Yeah, by pouring acid on the monsters teeth, smooth. Itachi: How Was I to know that would make him thrash around like that? Kabuto: You are such a fucking idiot! Itachi: The point is, once the acid finished eating through his teeth, we got out of there just fine. Kabuto: After hanging off his uvula for dear life so that we would fall back down his throat! Itachi: But we escaped. Kabuto: Fuck your escape! I had to use two cure light wounds spells just to fix the damage you caused me! Itachi: Yeah, what was the cure light wounds shit? Kabuto: Its a basic cleric spell. Itachi: I still dont get this whole D&D thing. I mean, isnt that just some nerd game? Kabuto: It is not! It is an experience like none other! You get to create your very own story and character in a world of magic and mystery along with your comrades in arms! Slaying and saving your way to hero status! Itachi: you are such a nerd. Kabuto: I am not!

Itachi: You and the sound five used to spend your free time playing role-playing games all afternoon, didnt you? Kabuto: NO!well, maybe. Itachi: Nerd. Kabuto: Its a strategy game! Itachi: Whatever, nerd. Kabuto: Agh! I hate you! Itachi: -finally notices letter- Hmm, you know, if I was really horny and he was the only one around, Id go for it. Kabuto: Youre a slut. Itachi: Nerd. Kabuto: Slut! Itachi: GEEK! Kabuto: WHORE! Itachi: FANTASY-BOY!! Kabuto: CHILD-MOLESTER!! Itachi: Yes, and? Kabuto: moving on I don't know why you guys hate emo music so much! It's only stereotypical emo PEOPLE I dislike (like Sasuke). And everybody knows Sasukes have multiple evolutions: They become Fall Out Boy at level 24, Itachi with a Fire Stone, and Orochimaru with a Moon Stone! It puzzles me though that Sasuke (one person) can become Fall Out Boy (four people). Deidara: I'm assuming by your speech habit that you're pseudo-Canadian. Have you ever been handcuffed by Mounties? Did they pay for it? Lucifel: Yay for emo music! Zakura: Are you shitting me?

Lucifel: I think its funnyand emo boys are hot. Zakura: You disgust me. Kiba: I have one thing to say about the whole more than one person in a single pokemon thing. Ahem- Execcute. Naruto: -nodsDeidara: Im not pseudo-Canadian.yeah. But I have been tied up by MountiesI paid themyeah. Kurenai: o.O Hey Kyuubi, how strong is your link with naruto's mind because could you take over him and force him to rip off the seal? You rock by the way! And Orochimaru-hime have you ever done lewd things wit Manda lol? Oh and since you liked it Lucifel...-kisses lucifel pationatly for several minutes- how bout that ;) Kyuubi: Unfortunately the seal keeps me from taking over Naruto. Kiba: Hey yeah, how did you get out if theres a seal?! Kyuubi: I think thats why I was in chibi. Dammit, these boobs are really annoying. How do you girls live with them? Zakura: By using them. And yeah, this room only let you break the seal a little bit. Kyuubi: that sucks. Orochimaru: -blush- of course not. I mean, its not like I ever got high and decided to fool around with making my own tentacle porn Jiraiya: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Orochimaru: I dont knowit seemed like a funny idea at the time -Everything breaks down for a second as Lucifel becomes utterly distractedKiba: what was THAT?! Lucifel: Fucking awesome is what that was. Zakura: If this keeps up Lucifel will get laid Lucifel: teeheenahwellhmm.

Zakura: Eww. Lucifel: By the way, are you a girl or boy? Im guessing boy, but you never know. And I dont care either way! Naruto: -utterly confused and disturbedFine don't listen to it. Snaps fingers and Stereo disappears. I love being evil I only wouldn't be mean to Hinata-Chan or Naruto-san so here tosses two CD players with Headphones. If any body besides Naruto or Hinata touch them they will recieve a highly electric shock to knock somebody out. Hi Deidara-Chan. Kiba: NOO!! NOT THE STEREO!!! Kyuubi: And dammit! I cant listen to mine anymore cuz Im out here! Naruto: -does happy dance and sits and listens to musicHinata: Oh butI wouldnt mind sharing Zakura: Waytoocute Oh god Haku, you have filled up my cuteness quotient for the week, I think I am going to shit bunnies! Can you be even cuter? I just realized Orochimaru, you look really sexy in the manga! E! Would you ditch Jiraiya for me? E! OMG I LOVE you DEIDEI! (in obsessive fangirl speech - Deidei means Deidara) Hey Kimimaro, could you sing with me sometime? I love to sing and there's never any guys who like to sing, and so my chorus group lacks 4 part harmony... Join us! Please... Should I just skip the usless begging for Kabuto? I love you guys! Rose Alternate Rose personality: OMG I think my shitsophrenic (sp?) just freiken raped my brain... Oh well... -Hugs Zakura because she rocks so much more than SakuraHaku: teehee, I dunno. Zabuza: -smirking- just to prove he can be -tickles Haku so he giggles uncontrollably and when he finally stops, Haku is still lying on the floor giggling like crazy, hair strewn all over the place, face flushed, and kimono falling off his shoulder.Everyone but Zabuza cuz hes used to it: -NOSEBLEEDHaku: Huh? Whatd I miss? Why is everyone holding their noses? Zabuza: -kisses Haku- nothing, dear.

Haku: heehee -hugs ZabuzaOrochimaru: Sorry, Ive got something to prove with Jiraiya. Jiraiya: You cant ditch what you dont have! Orochimaru: -leaning in close, a few strands of his chin-length hair falling across his face all sexy-like- Are you sure I dont have you? Jiraiya: -blush- Y-yes Orochimaru: -giggle- Well just see. Deidara: -waves- A lot of people doyeah. -Right in the middle of the three fighting a gigantic beetle, a letter flies in front of Kimis eyes and wont go awayKimimaro: -grabbing it- Another letter?! Gaara: Jesus Christ, when did you get so popular? Lee: -trying to hold the beetle back with his bare hands- A little help, Gaara?! Gaara: I dont even know what I can do! My jutsu arent workwhoa, why do I want to read the beetles mind?! Its a fucking beetle! Even if I could read minds what would I learn!? DM: Ooook, so, you read the beetles mind. Its thinking mmm, yummy adventurers you find no battle plans. Gaara: I DIDNT THINK I WOULD!!! DAMN! -A magic Missile shoots past Gaara and explodes in the beetles faceGaara: -turns around to look at Kimi- What was that? Kimimaro: Magic Missile. Its a basic magic-user spell. Gaara: Dear god, youre a nerd, arent you? Kimimaro: Maaaybe. Lee: Im gonna be crushed!! Kimimaro: Dont worry! Its your turn before the beetles!

Gaara: Were fighting in TURNS now? Kimimaro: Why dont you think either of us has made a second move yet? Lee: -manages to tear off the beetles pincers and it thrashes on the ground for a bit before falling still- YOSH!! I HAVE VANQUISHED IT!! Kimimaro: Good for you-looks at letter- Oh, I dont have time to join a chorus, but if I get out of here and manage to not go back to heaven, sure, Ill stop by for a visit. DM: You get three hundred experience a piece. Gaara: Experience? Kimimaro: Remember how Zakura said we would need to level up? Gaara: uh, nope. Kimimaro: Well, you level up after you get enough experience from fighting monsters. Gaara: That makes no sense. Kimimaro: You can also level up for role-playing. Gaara: For what? Kimimaro: Acting like your character. Gaara: Soby being myself? Kimimaro: Yep. Gaara: SO Im getting roleplaying experience by standing here and talking to you with my usual shock and disgust at the situation Ive gotten myself in? Kimimaro: Yep, well, depending on the DMand youd get lotsa extra XP if you went and made a dramatic confession of your love to Lee. Gaara: but that wouldnt be in keeping with my character, asshole. Kimimaro: Teehee, good point. Care to move on? Gaara: Suuure.

In a different part of the dungeon: Kabuto: YES!! No begging for me! Itachi: Your mom begged for me last night. Kabuto: How very mature. Itachi: I thought so. Zakura: Cool, hugs from bad-ass chicks are awesome. Receives hugHey i got a question for kiba, wot's Ur sister hana like? Hinata - why did u lyk try to almost get urself killed by neji in the chunnin prel? Matches just to impress naruto? Itachi - u nd sasuke looks so pretty darn cute as younger guys, did u still screw around with him when he was 8? Kiba: My sister is devils spawn, my mother being the devil. Why? Zakura: He obviously wants in your sisters pants. Kiba: Eww. Hinata: It wasnt to impress himI just.wanted to prove that I could be as strong as everyone else Kurenai: -hugs- you are, sweetie. Kiba: yeah, and twice as cute as anyone but Haku. Haku: Teehee. Itachi: -takes letter- Wellmaybe Kabuto: Oh, I dont even want to know Itachi: -smirking- Oh, yeah Late at night at go into ototos room and fool around with his cute little body Kabuto: IDONTWANNAKNOW!!! IDONTWANNAKNOW!! Runs off with hands over earsItachi: -chases him describing dirty things that probably never really happened-

Hey all! Having fun in there? Looks like Kabuto and Sakura are! Anyway, I'v got some dares I'd like you to try! Zakura: I dare you either dye Lee's hair purple or kiss one male in the room. Deidara: I dare you to lock Sakura and Kabuto in a closet for nine hours. Hinata: Your dare is to either admit that you like Naruto or to put on . . . this bikini and keep it on for two days at least. Oh, and Haku & Zabuza, congrats on the wedding!! Zakura: -kisses Haku- And? Zabuza: -looming over her, secreting an aura of pure evil and hate- Bitch, you have three seconds to run. Zakura: Eep. Zabuza: Threetwoone. GRAAAH!!! AttacksDeidara: As soon as Kabuto gets back, I willyeah Sakura: What?! NO!! Deidara: I think Kabuto could use a good lay where hes on top. He has an inferiority complex you know. yeah. Hinata: I dont really have to do I? Zakura: -runs by screamingSakura: Sadly yes. Hinata: -blushes and goes to changeKiba/Jira/Zaku (even while running for her life)/Neji/Naru: -hold breath and wait in anticipation.Hinata: -comes out wearing the same kimono as before. Kiba: What? Yu didnt pick the alternative did you? Hinata: No, the bikinis on. Underneath my clothes. SmileNeji: damn, shes not such an airhead after all. Kurenai: thats my girl!

Haku: thank you for the wedding congratulations. grabs Zabuza as he runs past and makes him sit next to him, and then slips into his lap, cuddling to calm him downZakura: -sits panting at the opposite side of the roomI give Itachi a Bastard sword. To Kabuto I give a scroll of level appropriate cleric spells with their material components and a quarter staff. Kohaku Kawa DM: You find a bastard sword in the hallway, along with a scroll and quarter staff. Thinks- why did I just give them that? WTFItachi: SWEET ASS!! Grabs bastard swordDM: Youre an assassin. You have no use for a bastard sword. Kabuto: If youre an assassin why didnt you just picklock that door earlier? Itachi: Youre the nerd, you tell me. Kabuto: We are obviously in the hands of some very immature and stupid players. Itachi: I dont care! I have a bad-ass sword now! Kabuto: -sighs and takes scroll and staff- These should help in the next battle I suppose. Itachi: Therell be more like that? Kabuto: Not like that I hope, but we will certainly have more random encounters. Itachi: Say what? Kabuto: Random monsters that attack for no reason other than to give us XP. Itachi: youre such a nerd. Sakura: Youre cool in the Shippuden how come so many people still hate you Naruto: You were a loser in the regular series. An annoying retarded hyper-active braindead moron but in the Shippuden your cool how'd you do it

Hey Zakura heres my stash of Girl on Girl porn my parents are inspecting my room so I must hide them and you're the only Lesbian I know. I would've given them to friends but you deserve it more Sakura: HA! There, you see? Some people think Im cool!! Zakura: And what retards are those? Sakura: You are such a bitch! Zakura: And youre a whiny know-it-all. So? Sakura: IyouARG!! Starts stalking offZakura: Who you gonna run crying to, bitch? Kabutos not here! Naruto: -raises hand enthusiasticallySakura: I hate you! Naruto: -cringeSakura: Not you! The bitch! Zakura: youre just pissed because Im more true to and open about myself and YOU than you could ever be! You spend so much time lying to yourself that the truth drives you up a fucking wall! Everyone: -silenceSakura: -shocked and traumatizedZakura: what? Someone had to say it. Sakura: Thats not true. Zakura: Think about it for awhile. Sakura: You cant be so cruel! Zakura: The truth hurts. Get a band-aid and move on. Deidara: that was kind of deepyeah. Zakura: -smirks-

Sakura: -refuses to acknowledge Zakuras truthNaruto: -looks at reader, shrugs, and does a humble nose-scratchZakura: -shakes at Sakura- OH SWEET-ASS!!! Takes porn to her happy placehey Zakura, did u know Ino-san has an inner just like Sakura-san? scratches Kyuubi behind the ears U L00K LIK3 A PUPPY!! Zakura: She might have an inner girl, but shes not as strong and bad-ass as me. Kyuubi: -slaps- GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!! Zakura: Someones sensitive. Kiba: -snicker- Or PMSing Kyuubi: You all will die one of these. It may have been senseless violence in the past but now I have good reason!! Dear Naruto I LOVE YOU I'll give u life of a Ramen if u come to the REAL world Sasuke god of all beauty! KIS ITACHI or marry NARUTO. and I will give u Itachi's head)) Naruto: -concentrates on going to real worldfails- -criesZakura: This world is plenty real enough for you! And besides, theres lotsa ramen to be had around here anyway Kiba: Sasukes not even herewhat the hell? Itachi: hold on, I need to break for lewd comments about how my brother gets my head all the time. Kabuto: Oh god, Itachi Itachi: What? I cant help the truth Kabuto: But theres so much WRONG with that Itachi: Its JUST incest!

Kabuto: Is that your catch phrase or something?! Itachi: Nobut it SHOULD be! Kabuto: -face-palmItachi: -walking ahead distracted- Ladies and gentlemen! Allow me to introduce ITACHI UCHIHA!! Thank you, thank you, I just want to remind you all, its JUST incest!! Hahahahaha Kabuto: -thinks- well, so much for Itachi being sane again

Ask Sakura 20 Lucifel: So, Im sorry its going up on Mondaythis is embarrassing. But I had such a busy weekend!! SORRY!!! But, since its Spring Break, the whole week is like a weekend for me. Yay! Ok, eww gross I know you all dont wanna read another one of my little notes, but I gotta put em up so that Ive given you all fair warning. I just want you to know that you can put almost anything INTO the room, but I cant let you take anything out. You can however take back anything you personally have given them. Cuz otherwise you might be taking something I was planning to use later on (yes I do plan, dont be shocked) or that I really like having around. Also, you simply canNOT override my, Zakuras or the DMs rules. You cant lift any curses or dares (unless you made them) and you cant just fix the characters problems. Its annoying for me to have to deal with and leads to more extreme editing of your reviews. (Plus, it would make for a really boring story if the characters problems could be fixed by a simple review, ne?) And of course, I have the right to break my own rules at any time I wish. Ok, again, I love you all!! I am NOT saying your reviews are annoying, just itty bitty little pieces of them. I appreciate each and everyone review I get. Much Love A.L.
A.H.S: -blinks gently before turning to look at a screaming Tobi and Kisame- Oh shut the hell up!! Its just an Anaconda for fucksake! Tobi: But Tobi is a- A.H.S: -Uses the Mangekyou Sharingan to transport the twit elsewhere before picking up her pet and sitting back in Sasori's lap- Damn twit...Sasori: Yes...mopes- But why did you give her my pictures?!! A.H.S: -pouts- But you have me already..Sa-so-ri-da-na! -Giggles and nibbles- Sasori: -Nods- A.H.S: Anyhow...How's about whipping some ass Zakura? Though I don't think you should hit Deidara...It just turns his ass on. Orochimaru, I mourn for your hair right about now. You looked ubber sexy with it. But I have to ask you this!! How did it feel to kill old man Sarutobi? Sakura, you really need to be more dominatory. Sucking up only leads to a nasty taste. Now Sasori has to add something!! Sasori: To the one who stalks me...FUCK YOU! I'll Gut you! I'm marrying Morana-sama! -Blinks as a poof is heard and she is gone- Kisame: Never say the 'M' word!! Its her weakness damn it!!

Zakura: -Brandishes whip- MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA -the whip smacks Kiba across the faceKiba: OWWW!! Why is it always me?! Shino: Because you put an akatsuki in pokeball, maybe? Kiba: YeahBut why the whip?

Zakura: -smacks him again, this time on the ass- no whining!! Kiba: But -SMACKKiba: -whimperShino: -goes to hang out with HinataKiba: -snifflelooks at Shino with big, sad puppy eyesShino: -ignoresNaruto: -pats Kibas back hesitantlyKiba: -criesOrochimaru: It felt like happy. :3 Everyone: O.o Sakura: Im plenty dominatory! Zakura: Sure, when youve got me around. Sakura: Not true!! Zakura: Whatever bitch. Kyuubi: YES!! Im a boy again!! And four-legged! Orochimaru: And Chibi!! Deidara: teeheehee
To Zakura-chan here! *Gives Zakura an album full of nakada Kurenai pictures, having sex with Anko* And there's more where that came from Itachi/ Kabuto: To you I give uber weapons and armor, Kyuubi: You know..being a girl isn't so bad..If you didn't notice, every single girl in Anime has strength beyond that on any male...and you have your natural destructive capacity, so you don't cry or blush alot! Now, I Triple Author/Zakura dare Hinata to kiss Naruto, for 3 whole minutes. BWHAHAHA! ((Sorry, Naruto!)) Hinata: Can you please explain to the others that it was a dare, so Naruto doesn't get maimed? Forgot to ask you last time, please and thank you! Signed, Emperor Jaden P.S. All Hail Lucifel and Zakura! *Gives them both their favorite cookies, with milk and hot chocolate*

Zakura: -SQUEEEE- -curls up in sleeping bag with albumKurenai: whats in there? Zakura: -clutching album- in where? Kurenai: The album Zakura: Nothing specialwhyyy? Kurenai: Because the last couple times there were photo albums they involved Sasuke in pervy little costumes. I think I have a right for suspicion. Zakura: Theyre not naked pictures of you I swear!! Kurenai: -blink, blink- And here I was worried they were of HinataGive those to me!! Zakura: NEVER!! burries herself in the sleeping bagKurenai: You get out here you little lesbian pervert!! attacks sleeping bagZakura: Im only enjoying this! Kurenai: O.O stopsZakura: -snickers and keeps looking at albumItachi: Dude! I cant believe we found this room full of weapons and armor! DM: How did this get on my map? Wtf? Kabuto: Too late! grabs armorItachi: -lines his belt with awesome throwing daggers and puts on armor- I look so awesomely badass!! Kabuto: Yeah, yeahick, I hate all this goofy shiny white armordamn clerics. Itachi: -snicker, snicker- You look like such a dweeb. Kabuto: Oh whatever. Youre a freaking assassin, you probably have like, four hit points, I could take you out in a second. Itachi: What are you gonna do, heal me to death? Kabuto: -hits Itachi with his quarter staff-

Itachi: WTF are you doing?! DM: Youre a Chaotic Good cleric!! Chaotic GOOD!! What is wrong with you?! Kabuto: Shit, if Im good Nejis a virgin. DM: Butbutfine, whatever, he takes six damage and is at negative one. Itachi: What the hell does that me-- -slumps to the ground unconsciousKabuto: Damn, I was off; he had fiveoh well. Good thing our players dont get along either apparently DM: Hes at negative two now Kabuto: -whistlesDM: -sweatdrop- Negative three Kyuubi: Whether or not being a girl isnt bad Im a boy now and thats ALL that matters!! I need to find a bitch and reaffirm that Zakura: Yeahno. Kyuubi: Says who? Zakura: Well, for one there arent many female nine-tailed foxes around here Kyuubi: Maybe Im into humans? Everyone: O.o Kyuubi: Oh please, even I can make a joke. Humans are gross. Kiba: Huhso, like, would you be into ninetails? Kyuubi:? Kiba: The pokemon. Kyuubi: The fuck? Kiba: Hold on -searches pockets- aha! Pulls out trading card of ninetails- do you think shes sexy?

Kyuubi: -bluuuush- Um, n-nodefinitely not Kiba: Huh, damn I thought you would Neji: Did you really not pick up on that? Kiba: On what? Kyuubi: Hey, uh, by the waywhere do you find that uhninetails? Kiba: I thought you werent interested? Kyuubi: Im not. Nonchalant glance awayNaruto: @.@ Hinata: O-oh, you guys the last kiss was a dare Kiba/Shin/Kure/Neji: THATS NO EXCUSE!! glareHinata: I-glances at Naruto and blushesZakura: SO yeah, Hinata doesnt have to kiss NarutoMOVING ON! Lucifel: Hold it! Just because YOU, Zakura, want in Hinatas pants and would get all jealous of Naruto doesnt mean IM not a Naru/Hina supporter. I say she DOES have to. Zakura: -whimper- Go ahead Hinata Kiba/Shin/Kure/Neji: NO!! Hinata: -whimper- -kisses Naruto close-mouth (you didnt specify and can only do the same dare once :P) for three minutesKiba/Shin/Kure/Neji: NOOO!! Deidara: SoKurenai has a crush on the cute little girl too. Yeah? Kurenai: No! Shes my student! I just want to protect her! Deidara: Sure Haku: Zakura-san!! Zakura: Yeah?

Haku: I have everything ready butI want to have the ceremony in this one place, and I was thinking Id need Tsunade to do the ceremony since a Kage is the only who can legally do that Zakura: Say no more. Anything you want for your wedding is yours. The fans would kill me otherwise. Haku: YAY! Thank you! hugs- I can even invite a whole bunch of people? Zakura: Why not all of Konoha! Haku: YAY!! Zabuza: We dont even know the people of Konoha! Haku: But I want a lot of people there Zabuza: -sighs- Whatever you want I guess Haku: :3 Zakura/Lucifel: -devours drinks and cookiesKyuubi, lookin good. Hahaha! Bet you wish it was still just me pestering you, huh? At least all I did was pet you and ask stupid questions, but now you're a fuzzy chick! Karma's a bitch, ain't it? Really, Kurenai, Kotetsu? Weird, I figured it'd be someone in the straight half of the village before someone batting for your team. How'd you get him up, henge into Izumo? Heheh. I crack me up. 1) Alright, Zakura. I dare you to tell Hinata how you feel. Have fun with that! 2) Sakura, I dare you to kiss Naruto, and don't skimp on the tongue action. After all the times he's saved your ass, I figure it's the least you could do for him. And as promised, Haku, here is your mountainous sculpture of ice cream, with a special surprise in the center. Don't worry, thanks to advances in ice cream technology, it will stay cool and delicious until the reception. Have fun, see ya there! The Legendary Khellan Rafe

Kyuubi: Yeah, laugh it up dick face. Kurenai: No, arg, dammit, Kotetsu was having trouble coming to terms with liking Izumo and were pretty close, thats why we slept together. Sure, it didnt work out for either of us, butgrr, I thought he was straight, he was trying to stay straightdid you just call me gay? Zakura: You should be. Kurenai: Keep wishing kiddo.

Zakura: Ill be dreaming for sure. Kurenai: Oh for Gods sake Zakura: Yeah wellwellwhats number one? Lucifel: Go ahead, do as the man says. Zakura: -twitch- He never said when!! Lucifel: You know you have to answer right away, Z. Zakura: Fine. Yo, Hinata! Hinata: Y-yes? Zakura: I feel really horny right now! Hinata: What? Zakura: And kind of violent and angry but thats normal Hinata: w-what? Zakura: Just thought Id tell you how I feel-smirks- he never said how I feel about her. Lucifel: Touch. Sakura: Im not doing that! Naruto: -puppy eyesSakura: -sighs- -grimace- -kisses Naruto.Naruto: -faintsSakura: -wipes mouthHaku: YAY!!! I cant wait! The wedding is next weekend!! Lucifel: If anyone wants to give wedding presents you better get on that!!
Naruto-sama! ToT U couldn't come to me! T0T I have eat all this Ramen ALL ALONE!T.T... Itachi-sensei: I WANT YOUR HEAD SO SASUKE WANT TO MARRY ME AND BECOME STRAIGHT!(is that alright with u?) Sakura-teme: I dare u to kill Sasuke if not...U MUST KISS NARUTO PASSIONLY! (or if not even that... u must have sex with OCCIMARU!) SASUKE: I WILL FIND U! *shearching for itachi in a tunnel*

OCCIMARU OUR GOD OF UGLENESS: U RAPED SAUSKE!*lEAVES A ATOMIC BOMB ON orochimaru HEAD* I see ITACHI!* comes with a heave blade* YinYangWhiteTiger

Naruto: -wakes up at mention of ramen- RAMEN?! looks around- Awwww Kabuto: Oh, Itachi has a letter. DM: Negative eight Kabuto: -sigh- Aww damn, weve reached the point of necessary healingCure Light Wounds. DM: Ok hes at zero. Kabuto: Fuck, now I have to use another spellcure minor wounds. DM: -extra sweat-drop- hes at two. Itachi: -sits up gasping- Oh my headWhat the fuck was that for?! Kabuto: -shrugs- I didnt mean to, it was the players idea. Itachi: Thats bullshit and you know it! Kabuto: -innocent smile- whatever do you mean? Itachi: -grumbles and grabs letter- whatNO! God, you dumb little fucker. Kabuto: -snickersDM: -thinks- whos this warrior whos character sheet In just foundoh wellsays- As you leave the room where you found the ridiculously-conveniently-perfectfor-your-characters-equipment, you see a warrior with a large blade in front of you. What do you do? Ita/Kabu: -look at each and make evil smilesTen Round Later: Kabuto and Itachi sit on the corpse of their vanquished foe Kabuto: Fuck yeah, thats how we do it! high-fives ItachiItachi: -pulls knife out of warriors neck- That was so much fun I almost forgot you tried to KILL me. Kabuto: Still bitter?

Itachi: -sighs- not really DM: Whats really sad is that you dinged doing that Kabuto: W00T!! SECOND LEVEL!! Itachi: WTF? Kabuto: Just be happy, you have more hit points now Itachi: huh? Kabuto: you wont die with one hit next time. Itachi: Ohfuck you. DM: As youre sitting theredoing whatever the hell you think youre doinga young girl runs up to you. She has long, stringy black hair and pale skin, She looks to be about ten years old and is dirty and bruised. Kabuto: Probably an evil monster in disguise. Itachi: -nods- probably. draws knifeDM: She collapses at your feet Itachi: Too bad its not a little boy. Kabuto: EWW! Anyway I have a need to go over there and see if shes all right. walks over and turns the girl gently onto her back, and shakes her softly in attempt to wake her- Hey, are you all right? DM: She wakes up and says weakly; Girl (speaking with the same voice as the DM): PleaseWaterplease Kabuto: that is just fucking creepy. Learn to voice-act, dear god. sighs and turns to Itachi- Do we have water? Itachi: -searches pack- No but I have a flask of wine. Kabuto: Thatll do. DM: -sigh-

Kabuto: -slowly pours the wine into the girls mouth.DM: Ok, she drinks it and sits up on her own, rubbing her forehead. Girl: -sits up rubbing her forehead- Thank youoh-swaysKabuto: -taking her shoulders- are you all right? What happened? gags at own tackinessDM: She shakes her head weakly. Girl: -shaking head- I dont know. I was out gathering wood for my family and then I fell through the groundwhen I awoke I was in this dungeon with a strange warrior. He got me out of the room we were in, but he couldnt stop me from getting injured in the past battles. We got separated several days ago and I was left without food or water, I thought I heard him down this way just now butit appears it was only you Itachi: -stepping in front of dead warrior- you dont say. That sucks. Girl: Indeed Kabuto: Wellyou can accompany us. pauses- Wait a minute! No she fucking cant! Girl: Oh thank you! This place is so dangerous I feared for my life Kabuto: Um, hello. I said no. Itachi: For real, thats some stupid shit right there to bring some little girl around with us. pauses- Yeah, whatever, you can come along. twitch- WTF?! DM: Alright, so, as you continue down the right-hand corridor with the girl following you Itachi: We dont WANT her to follow us! Kabuto: Itachi, its obvious the DM and this NPC cant hear it when WERE actually talking Itachi: Sohuh? Kabuto: Just let them play the game, hopefully itll work out Sakura: -pulls back from kissing Naruto again- Why?! Why me?!

Naruto: -mindless blabbingOrochimaru: Wtf? Zakura: Oops, missed that one Orochimaru: THAT one?! Zakura: -while getting rid of atomic bomb- do you know how many people have tried to throwing flaming explosives at your head? Orochimaru: really? Zakura: Ayup. Orochimaru: ouch
Well Im a boy and -starts kissing Lucifel- will do anything for you Lucifel! Also Sakuras annoying so cant you all get rid of her by sending her alone to the d&d world? oh and kyuubi kicks kiba's ass even as a chibi!! -goes back to Lucifel-

Lucifel: WHEE!! I have a pet! Sakura: NO! God, Im staying! Zakura: And besides we cant waste anymore potions, these might be funhey, we should check one. Who wants to drink a potion? Haku: Oooh! I will! Zakura: go right ahead Zabuza: Now wait a min-Haku: -drinks potionEveryone: -waits in anticipationTheres a poof of Brown smoke and it reveals Haku who is nowthe exact same as before Zabuza: phew Zakura: Damn, thats no fun Haku: Anoguys I Orochimaru: Well, shit, Ill drink my brown potion then.

Haku: Well, you might not want Orochimaru: -drinks potionHaku: oh dear Another poof of brown smoke and when it clearsOrochimaru is a woman. Orochimaru: -blinks- oh fuck. Haku: I tried to warn you Zabuza: -twitch- does that meanyoure Haku: Yep. All female. opens kimono to slightly to prove itNaruto: -nose bleed!!Zabuza: -excited shiver- Hakuthis may sound horrible butIve always wantedI meanCan I Haku: We have a very big sleeping bag. Zabuza: -smirks and pulls Haku to the sleeping bagZakura: Wellhuh. Sorry about that Orochimaru Orochimaru: -looking down kimono- Thats okthis is kind of fun-starts playing with boobsJiraiya: -NOSEBLEEDHey you know whats sad that even in the dictionary the friken dictionary it says yaoi is much more common than yuri. Isn't that sad. Why is yaoi so common. I thought males were the hornier gender. To Lucifel: Why do you lust after something that doesn't exist. Yaoi is weird. People find it immoral for people to like yuri well no one except me finds it weird that there are millions of friken drooling annoying fan girls Neji: If you are bi since you said so would you screw tenten(your teammate and don't say you don't know who tenten is because if you do I'll kill you) Haku: I thought you were really hot when I thought you were a girl but still are you a transvestite Good-bye, burn in hell and such whatever, Saskuretsu

Lucifel: First off, I find that more happy than sad. :3 Besides, theres more girl/girl in real porn so dont whine. Secondly, you lust after something that doesnt exist either if youre a yuri fanboy. Youre wrong. LOTS of people think yaoi is sick and wrong, I hear it all the time. And I personally have nothing against yuri (Look at Zakura) I just dont get off to it. Zakura: Men ARE the hornier genderthats why they screw each other.

Lucifel: hehe, yeah. Neji: TentenTentenwhere have I heard that name before? Kiba: -smacks NejiNeji: Hey! Knock it off!! Zakura: Either way, trust me, shes not that hot. Kiba: Sure she is! Shino: HEY! Kiba: hmpf Deidara: Hehehe, the dog is biting back against the little bug Shino: -twitchHaku: teehee, I guess now I am Zabuza: get back here!!
To Team Gaara: I give you the Marauder's Map, it shows were anyone is, unfortunately the PLACE it shows is hogwarts. To Team Itachi: I give you an up to date map of the current dungeon you are in. Only mirror-image, I'll leave you to figure out what that does to the arrangement of levels O.o To my dear Shikamaru, I give you a sheet of magic paper that can send what is written on it to whoever has the other sheet. I gave the other sheet to Chouji and he can write back. Zakura-sama please be nice and let him keep what he writes and recieves private!

Lee: Why is it team GAARA?! I want it to be team Lee!! Gaara: Whatever you want Lee Kimimaro: Hey, Im the one who even knows what were doing! Lee: But I am obviously the strongest! Gaara: Can we please not whine about this? Kimimaro: Yes, yes of courseeven though without me we would have died last time and never have gotten to level two, but thats okanywaywe got a map. Gaara: Seriously?! looks at map- What the fuck is a whomping willow?

DM: -snickering and thinking- Im so glad I found that random note about a marauders map and put it in there. Gaara: This is just of some gay castle!! MAN! tries to rip up paperthe paper doesnt tear- wtf? Map: -there are words scribbling across the page in place of the mapMr. Moony would like to say Gaaras sexual preference is rather strange but suits him perfectly. Gaara: huh? My. Prongs would like to add that Gaara should keep his hands off what is not his and should grow some eyebrows. Gaara: hey -puts hand to his head defensivelyMr. Padfoot mentions that he should get a boyfriend who will appreciate that fake little mask of bad-assery he always puts on. Gaara: -twitchMr. Wormtail concludes with that fact that Gaara had best not get a tattoo when hes drunk next timeit looks really gay. Gaara: -jaw drop- Kimimaro: Did that map just totally pwn your ass? Gaara: -shoves the map into his pocket- No. Fuck, lets just move on Lee: Yosh!! We can find our way without a map! Gaara: Yes, surecan we MOVE?! Kimimaro: Youre really miffed arent you? Gaara: Shut up. Lee: -turns corner- GAH! Gaa/Kimi: -run to catch upElsewhere

Itachi: YES!! A map! Soto get to those stairs we turnRight! slams into a wallKabuto: -collapses with laughter.Girl: Are you all right?! Itachi: YeahIm fine Kabuto: Hows you pride? Itachi: Mangled beyond repair Shikamaru: -wakes up from the nap he was taking- Hmm, whats this? Oh-writesZakura: Private to all but the computer screens and me and Lucifel! You got it! Shikamaru: rolls eyes Choji, its Shikamaru, did you get out ok? Im in a different room A few seconds later. Wow! Its actually working! I thought that girl was just crazy. Im home noware you ok? Yeah, Im fine. Its even more troublesome here butIm fine That sucks. Look, Its about dinnertime, so Ill write with you as soon as done. K? Sure Thanks, love you. Zakura: love you? Shikamaru: -blushes- so? Chojis liked me since we were children Zakura: thats really cutedont you feel a little hurt that he would rather eat than talk to you, his captured best friend? Shikamaru: its Choji. Zakura: Wellyeah
Kiba and Kyuubi: If you and the others agree to listen to an Avenged Sevenfold CD called City of Evil and an Atreyu CD called Death Grip on Yesterday in fact Atreyu is the only Emo disk in that collection so you either have no music or listen to two CD's then listen to whatever you want.

Kiba: Yes! I am DEFFINATELY ok with that! Please you guys?! Kyuubi: The real questions is whos gonna argue with me? Everyone: -snickerKurenai: Well, I certainly wouldnt dare argue with the little chibi fox-snrrggkKyuubi: Hey, fuck off Neji: I sure wontIm too scared of the big bad little doggy Kyuubi: I can still kill all of you! Jiraiya: Oh, ok, ok, well do what you say oh terrifying chibi! Orochimaru: Hot DAMN why dont you women play with your boobs more often?! This is so FUN! Kure/Hina/Saku/Zaku: -gapeOrochimaru: what? Jiraiya: -trying not to stareOrochimaru: -snicker- Jiraiyado you want to play my boobies? Jiraiya: -nodsOrochimaru: -giggles and takes Jiraiya to a cornerKurenai: -twitchZakura: If Orochimaru and he actually do it Im gonna barf.
Hello Ladies and Gentleman, I'm back with more questions for you all! Kiba: I forgot to thank you for offering to take my dog in , but latley my dad hasn't been threatening to give him away so there might be no need to give him to you and also I'll try to save Akamaru from Ino, he doesn't deserve that. No one does. Shino: Youre totally awesome and look so mysterious and sexy with your big jacket and the glasses and all. Though I've always wondered what do you look like without them on? So I dare you to take them off and leave them off the rest of the time you are there. Itachi: You also rock and through this fic I'm getting a little confused on whether or not you have actually banged Sasuke or not, so have you or what? Luv you all...almost all and when I say almost I do mean you Orochimaru and I don't care if I spelled that wrong. A Falling Angel P.S.S Congrats to Haku and Zabuza and I am coming to you're wedding!

Kiba: Ok, thats good about your dog-gasp- If you get Akamaru back for me Ill love you FOREVER!!!! Shino: Hmpf. and I refuse. Zakura: No refusals! Lets see it! Shino: -sigh- takes off glasses. Kiba/Saku/Hina/Neji/Dei: Oooooh. Kiba: Isnt he the SMEXIEST without them?! Saku/Hina/Neji/Dei: -nod, nodItachi: oh, yep. You bet your ass I have. Kabuto: I DONT WANNA HEAR IT!! turns to the little girl- So, whats your name? Itachi: What, since when are you as pussy as Jiraiya? Girl: Elani Kabuto: What a nice name. to Itachi- Im not! I just dont want to hear about you being a pedophile!! Itachi: Ok, whatever girly man. Elani: Thank youum.you are adventurers arent you? Kabuto: Fuck you Itachi. to Elani- Yes, of sorts, why? Elani: Well, because I saw something really strange a little while back and I was thinking someone should look at it because it seemed kind of bad Kabuto: Bad how? Elani: -shrugs and twirls hair- Justbad Kabuto: Was it on the other level? Elani: No, this oneI came from these stairsits around herenot far Kabuto: Why dont you take us there?

Elani: -nodsOrochimaru: I dont care because Jiraiya is playing with my boobs, and you are actually the first in a while to spell my name correctly so XP Haku: -wriggling out of sleeping bag, skin moist and hair mussed, his kimono falling off his shoulder- And Ill look forward to seeing you! Naru/Neji/Zaku/Dei/Shika/Kiba: -gape and trickling blood from they nosesZabuza: -holds Haku defensivelyfor deidara - r u gay? or r u bi? or r u straight? for naruto - i read a fic where ino seduces u, how do u feel? for kimmimaro - wot r ur opinions about the sound 4 and does kidoumaru and tayuya have a fling?

Deidara: Im like Orochimaru. Ill try anything once. Orochimaru: YAY FOR WHORES!! high fivesJiraiya: boooooobs Orochimaru: teehee. Naruto: O.o gagsruns to the bathroomZakura: Come on, Inos kind of hot Sakura: YOU TRAITOR!! Zakura: She IS though! Sakura: NONONONONONONONONONOONONONONONONO Kimimaro, Gaara and Lee are fighting a group of tough-guys Kimimaro: -paper flies in front of his face- WE ARE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING!! Gaara: I thought this was turn-based, dont freak out you just went. The fuck? Telekinesis? DM: The man you are focusing does indeed get thrown against a wall. Gaara: -as one of the men gets thrown against the wall- Aww, hell yeah. Lee: -kicks one of the men across the hallway-

DM: Ok, one of them is dead, another two are unconscious, and the one the fighter just kicked is lying half-conscious on the ground. Gaara: -strides over to the man and kneels beside him- So, youre part of the group that stole the artifact? blinks- huh? Lee: Gaara, what are you talking about? Gaara: I have NO clue Man: hehso wha if I am? Gaara: -grabs the mans hair- So Im just a little pissed off about it. Kimimaro: Damn, looks like you got a role-player for your playerIm sorry. Gaara: Huh? Man: Arihgtarightwhat dya wanna know? Gaara: Where is it? looking at Kimimaro- can you explain this?! Kimimaro: Its ok, its just the player-control Zakura told you about. Thats why Lee attacked the darkness and the turns happen. Gaara: If you say so Man: It-its towards the east on the second level. Gaara: how do we get there? Man: I dont know, they dont tell us tha Gaara: -pulls out knife- what was that? Man: Stop! Eres a mapits marked on ere, the stairs are jus a few meters down tha left corridor! Gaara: That so? Man: Y-yeah Gaara: Well, thanks. stabs man through the chest.- SHIT! SHIT!! SHIT!!! NO! FUCK! I killed him! Kimimaro: So?

Gaara: I didnt WANT to! Kimimaro: Hes just an NPC, its ok. Gaara: WhateverIve tried to keep random killings off the agenda lately Kimimaro: -pats shoulder as they head down the corridor- Some goals are just unattainable Gaara, Im sorry to say. Gaara: Oh fuck you, read your letter. Kimimaro: -looks at letter finally- oh, they were all right. We all fought a lot, and disagreed on everything, but Ive mentioned before that weve made a kind of dysfunctional family unitand if they did I dont wanna know-shiversGIFLNARRICKYBOO! (you can actually pronounce that, if you try) Yer, it's me again! Sorries about the long time between meh reviews...Meh beloved compy, Prometheus by name, kinda went and `asploded. And then, of course, once I got him back...well, I had faster Internet, and so I pretty much wasted all my time on YouTube. Never before have I been able to OD on my favorite movies...THEY'RETAKINGTHEHOBBITSTOISENGARD!! Oops...I'm supposed to have questions for you guys. Oh, and by the way, I might not be totally up-to-date on the room...I got lazeh and just skimmed the previous chappies ::sweatdrop:: Anywhozits, questions! La preguntas! Nurr... 1. *gives Haku a magic book that will show him anything in the world he wants to see* Congradulations, dear! I think I spelled that wrong, but I don't care... 2. Zakura...forgive me for not including you on my list of "Naruto Women I Adore Beyond Reason". You see, when I wrote it, you were just in Sakura's mind...so, yeh. ::adds you to the list:: 3. And can I still do dares? Then I dare EVERYBODY to sing me happy birthday! Well...er...my birthday was a month ago, but I'm not too fussed. GYAHH! Hinata's here! She's mad awesome! And cute! And she'd be on my list, except that I'm more of a submissive person...Anyway. GOLDFISH ARE JUST JEALOUS OF CHEEZITS! ::gives everybody a Cheezit box:: Min, and have I missed the wedding? I wouldn't want to miss that, that would break my heart. `Cos, y'know, I just lurve Haku with all of my little black heart. Platonically! ::hides from Zabu-sama:: AND DEI-SAMA'S HERE!! If I'm not dressed as Haku for Halloweeners, I will TOTALLY be Deidara, yeah! And, my friend will be Sasori-danna. What color is his hair, anyway? I haven't seen him on Shippuden yet, `cos I've been too busy to watch it ;.; Kerfuffles. Kabuto and Itachi are in D&D! Kyaah! My math tutor plays that game. Hurr...would any of you boys (straight or not) wear a Jedi costume to your own wedding? Because my math tutor cursed me to marry a man who will want to wear a Jedi costume to the wedding. Dur, didn't say a woman who would, I'm off the hook! CHICKEN! Ehehehehehe...I'm gonna eat you! Speaking of which, do you all have enough food? `Cos, I would give you some if Lucifel would let me. Coconut-curried soup!! And noodles! GRAAH!! there's no butter for my noodles!! nu! I am butterless, like an ANIMAL! Hey, did you guys know that penguins are going to take over the earth and force us to pack HERRINGS? They are! I've started my own organization to stop them...we're the PFF (Penguin-Free Force). Anyone who joins gets a tuxedo. So far, there are two members. Me and my friend Eric, who's a nut, but a sexy, sexy nut. Don't tell his girlfriend I said that... YAY POKEMON!! I would sing the theme song, but I'm currently stuck on Sailor Moon music. That's a GREAT show to see uncut, because they're all lesbians! No lie! Well, some of them. Now what was I talking about? Oh yes, pokemon. What Pokemon would you guys all be if you were Pokemon? (out of the original 150...eh...152, I guess, since we have to count in Mew and Mewtwo...) You know the only thing that could make this party better? KARAOKE!! ::poofs up karaoke machine for the people:: WOO! And DDR! And TWISTER!! Break it down now, yo! ::tries to imitate DJ scratchy noise and fails miserably:: Hmm, Lucifel, if you want, you can just edit this. It was MAD WASOME to see my last review-letterramblings uncut..but meh, I understand you don't have the space or time. Anything that's edited, I'll just send again...and again...and again...Yep, I'm a stalker now!! ::dances her victory dance to Pirates techno remix::

Hrm...since I said DDR, I should probably give you guys a PS2...::poffs one up:: and the mats! And games! No, I wasn't thinking hentai games, not at all! :hides secret stash:: Oh, and I should have mentioned, the penguins are going to take the sake and the coffee. JOIN NOW! ::waves her banner with a penguin face with a slash through it:: Goodness, I think this buggah is even longer than the other letter I sentish. You can tell I have no life, hm? Well, guess what! I DO! I'm going to have one for 10 days in July, when I go to London! ONE SHORT DAY, IN THE EMERALD CITY!!...well, ten short days in London town... I'll bring back souveniers for you. Hey, I spelled that wrong too! ::shame:: Love, cheezits, ribbons, and WAFFLES! Arashi of the Red Scarf. PS: this letter is 783 words long.

Everyone: Whatthehell Lucifel: ISNT SHE HILARIOUS!?!?! Zakura: Hell yeah! Sakura: Hell no! This is ridiculous! Zakura: I bet shes sexy. devious smile- I should get on thatbecause I totally understand Arashi, that you didnt recognize me. Im cooler this way anyway. Haku: -is finally finished with Zabuza- Oooh! Fun! I want to see the shower of Johnny Depp while hes in it!! the book shows him thus- SQUEEEEE!!!! Everyone (even the people in the dungeons): Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Arashiiiiiiii!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! Zakura: Ickwe should leave the singing to Kimimaro Kiba: DUDE!! Of the pokemon I would totally be an Arkanine!! Everyone: You are so gay Kiba: And Shino would be a beedrill, and Hinata would be a clefairy and Kurenai-sensei would be a Persian, Orochimaru would be an arbok and Jiraiya would be venusaur Shino: Youre so fucking weird Zakura: YAY for lesbian chicks! Waiterics a boy and you think hes sexy? You shame me as a lesbian! Sakura: Hes sexy? I wanna pic!! Zakura: Yes! Penguin killing club!! Hinata: Aww, I like penguins Zakura: Im afraid I cant endorse your club

Kiba: I CAN!! Akamaru and I hunt birds all the time!! Hinata: Aww Kiba: oh wellmaybe not
Lee: Here you go. (Gives Lee a Utility Blade, a sturdy longsword filled with secret compartments containing healing potions, explosives, etc. that magically refill.) I'm sure you'll need it. BTW, I've played maybe 3 games of D&D in my life, but I've actually been asked to design weapons for a Dungeon Master.

Lee:-after glancing at one of the bodies- Whoalook at that sword!! grabs swordGaara: -mutters- Wish hed grab my sword. Kimimaro: -snickerThey continue going on, following the map. They get up the stairs and go down several corridors. Lee is getting continually more tired, having taken the most damage in the last fights. Gaara: Lee? You doing ok? Lee: y-yeah Im fine. Gaara: Do you want to rest? Lee: -shakes head- no. Gaara: ok-worried glancesAs they continue down the hallway, they suddenly come to a door. Kimimaro hit the lock with a magic missile and they walk inside. DM: You are standing in a large, circular room, on the far side of which is another set of doors, and in the middle of it is a pedestal of medium height, resting upon which is a statue of a mottled rose, the size of a soccer ball, and pulsing blue light faintly. Kimimaro: -starts forward to take itDM: As you step forward, one of the tiles sink into the ground, and a section of the wall slides away. That happens. DM: Once the wall is slipped away, you can see a giant flesh golem standing there. It stands there silently for a second, and then rushes at you.

Thaaat happens too. Kimi/Gaa/Lee: SHIT!!!!!!! Meanwhile the little girl continues leading Itachi and Kabuto through lots of twisting passages, and eventually they come to a large set of doors. Elani: See, theres something bad behind those doors. Itachi: Okwell, lets picklock these bitches. goes up to the doors and pulls out some wires and stuff. And goes to work- -after about ten minutes theres a click and the doors swing open.When the doors open they can finally hear the shout and other sounds of battle, and they can see the other three fighting the flesh golem. Itachi: Holy shit Kabuto: What are you guys doing here?! Kimimaro: Kabuto! Gaara: A little help, guys?! Itachi: -throws two knives at the golems back, they both his and imbed themselves in his shoulder and lower backLee lops off an arm, Kimimaro manages to burn out its eyes and Gaara found his psionic powers useless against the thing and had to simply slash his way about it while Kabuto healed from the sidelines. They pwned that mothafucka. Itachi: Well, that wasnt so hard Kimimaro: Kabuto!! runs to him, and Kabuto happily gathers him up in an embraceAs soon as they hug theres a flash of light and when it fades there are five new people standing dumbly around the room. Gaara: So these are the people we were playing? They look like a bunch of pansies Kabuto: -with Kimimaro still hanging off him- theyre only level two. Kimimaro: So now we just need to get out of here!

Gaara: Am I still a psion? tries to do a jutsu- Yupdammit. Lee: Who cares?! Yosh! It looks like weve still got all our stuff lets continue! Itachi: W00T!! Kabuto: Kimihow long are you gonna hang off of me? Kimimaro: A while. Kabuto: ok
Shino-san: n00b Sakura-san: She's right u know? ...O.o have u guys noticed Itachi-san hasn't had a frappuccino in more than 3 days?

Shino: -throws Kunaithe kunai hits the computer screen and falls to the groundDAMMIT!! Sakura: Who, Zakura? NO! She is not! Zakura: Ok, whatever piffle princess. Sakura: -glaresItachi: -reads letter- Well, that potion held me over for awhile and then having a real plot distracted me but now that mention itI am kind of craving one Kimi/Gaa/Kabu/Lee: uh-ohO.o Haku: OK!! Hello everyone! My wedding is next week! Please send wedding gifts and honeymoon locations (well go to everyone we like :D) by then! Im using Kryahs wedding Kimono and only Kabutos rose submitted brides-maid kimonos so were using hers, (theyre GORGEOUS) and Kohaku Kawa is designing the boy kimonos and Zabuza-sans kimono! Zabuza: Say what? Haku: ALL OF YOU are expected to be there!! :3 I cant wait to see you all! Bye bye!! Orochimaru: I HAVE BOOBIES!!

Ask Sakura 21 -Lots of explosions and noise and general cacophonyLucifel: HELLO MY LOVELY PEOPLE!! Today we bring you a double celebration!! Hakus wedding AND St. Patricks Day!! Zakura: HEY!! Were trying to have a wedding here bitch!! Lucifel: Let me set up the scene, Bitch!! Zakura: Its already set up, whore! Lucifel: Well the fans need description, girl-banger! Zakura: Hey! Who just went on a date with a girl? Lucifel: But I didnt BANG her!! We didnt even kiss!! It was just as friends!! Zakura: And you think being trapped in Sakuras body Ive gotten any action?!?! Sakura: -pushing me and Zakura off-screen- Sooo, welcome all!! Weve gotten lotsa great reviews for this wedding, which well address (along with all the usual bunch of letters) during the reception!! Zakura: During well have drinking! Lotsa drinking! To celebrate the good ole Irish!!! Lucifel: YOSH!! Sakura: Soonto the wedding The Wedding: They are situated in a valley surrounded on all side by tall snow-capped cliffs; there is a large lake on the northern half of the circular depression of earth, and rolling meadows on the rest of the land. There is a small gathering of people forming a half-circle on the southern shore of the lake, and just on the shore stand Zabuza and Haku. Tsunade stands on an elevated platform facing the crowd, making a long eulogy about the beauty and sanctity of love and marriage.

The crowd consists of everyone who was in the room, and all the fans (I LOVE YOU GUYS), along with, but not restricted to, Asuma, Gai, Temari, Iruka, Choji, Kotetsu, Izumo, and that family that was involved in the Haku/Zabuza arc whose names I dont remember and dont care about. The bridesmaids (wearing Kabutos Roses red kimonos with pink sakura blossoms) are; Sakura, Hinata, Kurenai, Orochimaru snicker- and Zakura. The Groomsmen (wearing Kohaku Kawas dark blue kimonos with light blue wave patterns) are; Naruto, Kisame (by Zabuzas request), Neji, Gaara, and Itachi. Plus, in the same outfits, Kiba, Shino and Kimimaro provided music and song. Zabuza is wearing a black kimono with a golden dragon pattern (also by Kohaku Kawa) and Haku is wearing the white silk kimono (by Kryah). Zabuza and Haku stand under a trellis on which crawl dozens of beautiful flowers, and there are more exotic plants beside it and ringing around the edge of the platform on which Tsunade stands decked out in full hokage robes to show her respect for the ceremony. Orochimaru has used an old jutsu he found to make it snow. The icy fluff now drifts down slowly as the ceremony goes on. Tsunades talk is brief and to the point, and Zabuza and Haku exchange promises, small, happy tears gathering in Hakus eyes, and then Zabuza lifts his new bride high up and kisses him/her passionately and the crowd erupts with applause. (And Kiba, Shino and Kimimaro start up another song.) NOW ONTO THE RECEPTION!! They have a bunch of tables set up and the platform has been turned into a dance floor, while Shino, Kiba, and Kimimaro play towards the back of it. Kabuto: Now wait one goddamned minute!! the music screeches to a halt- For one thing, WHY are Haku and Orochimaru-sama women?! For second, why havent the jonin or Tsunade tried to kill Orochimaru-sama or the other akatsuki?! Thirdly, arent Gaara Lee, Kimi, Itachi and I not even supposed to BE here?! Zakura: OK, one, we found out what the brown potions do Jiraiya: -drools over OrochimaruOrochimaru: -to Tsunade- My boobies are nicer than yours. Tsunade: They are not!! Orochimaru: Jiraiya likes mine better!! Dont you, Jiraiya? Jiraiya: -gurgle- bwaaaahuh? Ohyeah sure. Tsunade: -rolls eyes- Well congrats on being the favorite of the blubbering idiot.

Orochimaru: -smileZakura: Second- Dont question the powers of a fangirl and a mental creation when it comes to making everyone get along, and finally, you just happened to get lucky and the DM is out sick this weekend. Kabuto:what? Zakura: Well, without the DM the world cant exist soyeahjust be happy about it and move on. All right, were gonna have some questions, and everyone better start dancing! -The music restarts and several braves couples that I dont feel like defining get up and dance hesitantly on stage.Kyuubi: I have respect for you not only as a master of death, destruction and general unpleasant ness, but as a demon sophisticated enough for classical giggles- but why leaf? Sakura: What would you consider yourself and are chicken asses in style? Wheres Gai-sensei and the other jonin? He needs to let Lee unleash his youth on Gaara! Anna Kyuubi: Dude, because they left their lights on all night. I told you all that. Plus it was just kind ofthere

Naruto: -sighSakura: I would consider myself a teenaged kunoichi Zakura: -while krunking it out on the dance floor- You know what they mean!! Sakura: Im STRAIGHT, you nosy jerks! Zakura: As Ive said beforeyou to curse more Sakura: Xp Gai: Whats this about Lee getting into a fight with Gaara? Kurenai: Thatsnot what she means Gai: What else would she mean? Kurenai: Never minddo you wanna dance? Gai: Why yes, Id love to. Kurenai: -blushJira/Asu: grrrrr

Lee: -While he and Gaara stand by one of the tables laden with all the rejected food from beforeplus lotsa sake and beer and whiskeyall dyed green- Yosh! Go Gai-sensei!! Gaara: What does Kurenai see in a man like him? Lee: His courage and energy to say the least! Hes one of the best men around! Thats why I want so much to be just like him! Gaara: -blush- yeahI guess I can see where shes coming from Lee: Well, you know, you are a man so you couldnt hope to understand why women are so entranced by men like him-shiney-eyed admiring glance at GaiGaara: Actually I really can Lee: ? Gaara: Uhnevermindhey do you wan Tenten: Hey Lee!! Youve been gone so long! Where have you been? Tell me while we dance!! pulls Lee to the dance floorGaara: IuhDAMMIT. Naruto: Dudewhat was that all about? Gaara: Nothingdammit why must he be so fucking hot?! Naruto: Who? Lee? Gaara: yeah Naruto: Ewww Gaara: How are you talking? Naruto: HA! I drank that orange potion, and its a curse removal!! Zakura: Yeah butthe curse ended today anyway Naruto: -twitch- dammit
Itachi & Gaara why are you guys so hott? and itachi kill sasuke already -love itachi's sharingon lover Itachi: Its a natural gift.

Gaara: -raising sake cup in salute- Word.

Itachi: Im not gonna kill that little cutiewonder why hes not here Kisame: -to Zabuza- Sodudeyou got married. Zabuza: yeah, I figure I had managed to die a bachelor, may as well. Kisame: Good enough, good enoughand she is a cutie. Zabuza: Dont I know it. Thank for coming man. Kisame: Of course, sorry cartman and the others couldnt make itKenny really wanted to come. Zabuza: scool. Kisame: Cool.
Gifts and questions: Kimimaro a spell lee some green armour gaara a robe Hinata why do you have such low esteem Zakura the more i read about u the more i love you so i give you a hug and a kiss -hug and kissTarkemelhion P.S good luck at ur weeding haku and if i didnt fear my health i'd give you a hug

Kimimaro: -tucks spell away and keeps singingLee: Ooooh, cool!! Tenten: Whats that for? Lee: For fighting the monsters!! Tenten: ? Temari: -saunters over to Tenten- Hey, girl. So, you wanna learn some of my moves? Gaara: -gags at her cheesy pickup linesTenten: O-ohsure-bluuushGaara: -gapes but then turns away and puts on robe, its a smexy robe and hugs his back/chest muscles nicely- heynice. Hinata: O-ohits justyknowfamily stuff. Zakura: Screw your family!! Come dance!

Hinata: Oh but Im no good at Zakura: Ill teach you!! Dance! Come on! quickly gets hugged and kissed and then goes back to puppy-dog-eyeing HinataHaku: Aww, you can hug me!! hugs TarkyZabuza: -glares and hugs Haku closeHaku: Teehee.
way to go Orosama -_- don't let Jiraiya get too boob crazy or he'll go back to being straight. for the wedding present I give you both a traditional Japanese house in a secluded mountain forest *cough*likeinLoyaltyEternal*cough* where the mist or anyother village's anbu cannot find you. I give you also a pretty wedding cake. It is chocolate cake with white frosting, silver decoratioans and sakura blossoms. Orochimaru: So long as Im a woman who CARES if hes straight?!

Tsunade: -raises handOrochimaru: What, you got the hots for him? Tsunade: eww, no, I want him to be gay so he wont hit on me. Orochimaru: -hangs off of JiraiyaHaku: KYAA!! WE HAVE A HOUSE!! Zabuza: Were deadwhatre we gonna do with a house? Haku: Haunt it! Zabuza: that could be fun. Haku: -gasp- Weve got CAKE!! Everyone: -stops still and thenSTAMPEDE TO THE CAKE!!
This is 4 Sakura,what did u think of Kabuto when u first saw him? Oh and Sakura,Sasuke is gay.Sorry! ~*$LiL-Princess-of-death$*~

Sakura: -through mouthful of cake- My exact thought? Ewwww Kabuto: she LIES!!

Sakura: Nu-uh, I thought you were really pretty creepy Zakura: Shes actually not lying this time! Sakura: See? And besides, Sasuke is not gay. Hes just confused. Itachi: Yeah his head is too full of my ahem- body to think anything clearly Orochimaru: -gasp- How will I screw Sasuke now?! Jira/Tsu/Kure/Saku/jonin: -twitchItachi: Strap-ons? Orochimaru: Oh yeah, no worries.
Hello everyone! Congrats again Haku and Zabuza on your marriage. For your honeymoon might I suggest the Atlantis Resort in Nassau, Bahamas. I give you the biggest suite which is the hugest hotel room ever that is actually a bridge kind of suspended like 30 stories high and hanging between two towers. I hope you enjoy it. As for your wedding present I give you an Aston Martin, which is a totally awesome car, I don't know if either of you can drive but you can learn. It is very expensive so please treat it well! Congrats again! I hope you have an awesome wedding, honeymoon and life together!! A Falling Angel Haku: Thanks!! Wow! This is great! We can drive to all our honeymoon locations!!

Zabuza: do you drive? Haku: no you! Zabuza: oksuuuure Haku: Kyaaa this is so exciting!! Asuma: -aside to Gai- So where were they hiding the cute girls in our generation? Gai: -shrugs and shakes head- Ah, the younger generation always seems so much more energetic and youthfulits sad how we have to fade Asuma: I need to stop talking to you-notices Shikamaru who is sitting with Choiji while Cho eats twenty pieces of wedding cake- oh -walks over to ShikaA.H.S.: -Yawns lightly, snuggling into Hidan's arms in full Gothica style.- Hi all! How's it going? Hidan: -Looks around- Better hurry...I think Sasori's coming again...A.H.S: Shit!! anyhow...Zakura!! Can you please either allow Deidara to come here for an hour to talk to Saso-kun or allow me to hide there for a chappy or two? Gaara!! I dare you to profess your feelings to Lee! Kiba...Shino...Please kiss and make up!! It makes me feel sad to kno- Gah!! -points- WTF are you doing here Sasuke?! Sasu: -Blinks- You mean this isn't Papi Chillos? Everyone: -Twitches. Till Sasori bounds in, grabbing for her!- A.H.S: Gah!! -Runs!- Help me!

Zakura: Oh yeah, thats why A.H.S. is hiding under the tables with the akatsuki.

Zabuza: Shit, if Sasori wants to come wreak havoc thats ok by me Haku: Awwarent you having fun? Zabuza: Of course I am. Im with you. Haku: -happy blushGaara: Noooo!! Lee: Why? How do you feel about me? innocent smileGaara: I buwahaglahfrglxjkyzzlhrrrrg Zakura: It was a dare Gaara, you cant ignore it. Gaara: Kjllkyzpk? Zakura: Well, once you fix your tongue you better tell him. By the end of this thing at least. Sakura: Oh come on, its Hakus wedding, we only need one profession of love today, Lee: why? Whos professing their love? looks aroundSaku/Zaku: -.- Gaara: hrgmfk Itachi: Damn, Sasuke is just poping into all the fans houses Kiba: Yeah, why are you mad at me anyway Shino? Shino: -ignoresKiba: Shinotalk to me-whinesShino: Youre not getting anywhere with all that childish whining Kiba: I love you Shino: Whatever. Go dance with Kurenai, she looks pleasantly buzzed Kiba: I dont wanna. We have to go play some more after this cake anywayplease?

Shino: Youre just worried you wont get laid anymore. Kiba: No! thats notwell, its not ALL of it. Shino: -scoff- What did I see in you? Kiba: The same thing you hopefully still do see in me? Shino: I dont know Kiba: Come on!! Youre blowing this out of proportion! I just kissed Kurenai! Shino: thats not even all of it! You never admit to being with me! You always get all defensive when someone calls you gay! Youre obviously not comfortable with this relationship. How am I supposed to think you really love me when you act like this? Kiba: II dont know Shino: Thats what I thought-stalks offKiba: -whimperYay! Many Thankies for using my kimono, Haku (and Zabuza)! You guys should go to Hawaii for your honeymoon (I know, so cliched), then you can visit me! I give you as a wedding present... An ultimate gaming system because I'm at a loss for ideas. It's ultimate because it comes with all games and is any system. So, now that Haku is a girl how many kids are you guys going to have? How are you gonna get Tsunade at the wedding when she has so much work to do? Anyway, I give one hug to Zakura, and one hug to Kyuubi because he's such a cute little chibi fox, yes he is, aw... *continues to coddle Kyuubi in this fashion* Am I scareing you yet? Anyway, I give a kiss to Kabuto and... that's all I have to say, I LOVE YOU KABUTO! ~Rose

Haku: WE HAVE ANOTHER HONEYMOON STOP!!! Zabuza: How are we gonna drive to all these islands? Haku: Well manage. Zakura: You could probably fly on his cuteness alone Haku: Kya! Video games! Yay! Now I can play grand theft auto even while Im dead!! Everyone: O.o Zakura: Grandthefthwa? Haku: What? I like Zabuza-sans games Zabuza: -snicker-

Tsunade: I always make it to a wedding. Theyre way important than paperwork. And In definitely dont have Shizune tied up under the platformahahaha. Everyone: O.O Tsunade: Uhyeahehehe Zakura: -accepts hugKyuubi: Get away! GET AWAY!! Kabuto: NO! NO KISSING!!! runs around the valley with rose chasing himKimimaro: Hey! Leave him alone! tackles RoseKabuto: Thanks KimiI owe you Kimimaro: Just one dance. Kabuto: ohok
Anyway, happy wedding-ness, guys! Save mine for later so my question can be given to Zabuza after the wedding. Zabuza: How do you feel right now? Kyuubi: I dare you to... (in eerie, high voice) Do a little dance... Haku and Zabuza: Here's my wedding gift! Straight from the souvenir shops of modern Tokyo... a COOL THING! TM COOL THING is a small, metallic, white-blue orb. When you touch it, things pop out of it, then slowly retract. Thing is, you never know what COOL THING does until you need it... Kyuubi: (Same voice as before) Da-ance... About the D&D thing: Yeah, I'm a nerd. But it could be worse. I could be an EVIL nerd, like Kabuto. -Avatarjk137

Haku: thank you so much! starts playing with COOLTHINGZabuza: Like the luckiest man in the world-kisses HakuHaku: Darling Im trying to play with this thing Zabuza: -raises eyebrow- oh really? tacklesHaku: Kyaa! Kyuubi: I refuse. Zakura: But you cant. Kyuubi: Nono I really refuse Zakura: but you CANT.

-stare-downZakura: At least do the electric slide with us. Kyuubi: FINE! Ill do the damn electric slide Zakura: WOOT!! Everybody on stage!! Neji: Heywhere are Shikamaru and Asuma? Zakura: hold off on the electric slide for a minute!! Weve got a sex scandal to uncover.
OMG YAY HAKU'S WEDDING!! :D Here's your present! Its a little porcelain heart thing...FROM MEXICO! It's like a jewelry box so it's mostly for Haku...so for Zabuza I give you 1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0 gift card for Best Buy! -gives presents- Kabuto how do you feel that Orochimaru is a girl now? Also what color are those gloves you wear? I need to know cuz I'm cosplaying as you for an anime convention. :3 Bella-QueenOfTehWaffles Haku: Oooh, yay! Its so pretty!!

Zabuza: yes! Gratuitously gorey movies, here I come!! Kabuto: Kind ofmortifiedI liked him better as a man Kimimaro: -muttering- I like you as a man Kabuto: what was that? Kimimaro: N-nothing-blushKabuto: ook Zakura: AHA!! I FOUND THEM!! THEYRETheyreplaying shogi? And indeed they are. Shikamaru: Is this not allowed or something? Asuma: What else would we be doing? Zakura: You know! Passionate secret love and all that jazz!! Asuma: -horrorShikamaru: -blush- your fantasies are so troublesome

Zakura: Well, dammitfine, come do the elctric slide with us-stalks off mutteringAsuma: -phewShikamaru: -phew-they go to dance(flies on stage using dragon wings) Hey!Snake bastard! yeah you! Ever heard of Theif King Bakura and his half demon/half snake pal Diabound? No? He'll whoop your bloody ass! 1.He has the power of a god a monster that can phase through walls and a dragon on his side! 2. He can BANISH souls! 3. He CAN'T die! Orochimaru: Ok, well I have a whole village of elite ninja on my side, jii-san sandaime already tried the whole banish/sealing thing, and so what if he cant die? If youre a good anime fan at all youd know immortality means nothing. Every enemy can be defeatedby the hero!! Jira/Tsu: Youre not the hero! Orochimaru: -sticks out tongueand steals the cake off Jiraiyas plateTsunade: Eww Jiraiya: -drips blood from noseHaku/Zabuza congrats on the wedding! I have gifts and questions! First off gives Zabuza a infinite amount of kick-ass sword stuff, the complete collection of the inu-yasha show and condomsHaku IS a girl now so you may need thoseunless you both want kidsmoving on! gives Haku a new set of needles and all the kinds of nailpolish EVER a very large collection of Edgar Allen Poe and her favorite type of music- Have fun! Anyhow no questions how is Tsunade going to do it? Shizune will force her to do paperworkwhy not Gaara who is the kazekage? Or oroshimaru who is, techinically, otokage. Anyhow, enjoy your wedding, let me know if anyone messes it up cuase I wanna help kick their asses! Haku: Thank you very much!! oh yeahcondomswhoops Zabuza: psssh, I dont use condoms. throws condoms away over shoulderHaku: Kya!! You wanna have kids?! Zabuza: -dives to catch condomsHaku: -giggleZabuza: -caught them- phewoh, thanks and stuff. Haku: KYAA!! Nailpolish!! POE!! YAYAYAYAAYYA!!! Tsunade: -shifty eyes- like I saidI didnt have to tie Shizune up or anything-kicks stage where, on the other side of, scratching can be heard- so wheres Kakashi?! Haku: I dont knowhe was totally invited -meanwhile, something dark and horrible rises up out of the frappuccino pool.Kankuro: hrrgwha? wakes up and turns around- WhatwhatNo! NOOO!! AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!! -soo, back at the weddingHaku: Oh yeah, I guess Gaara could have done itteehee, silly me. Oh well, this way I got to have my wedding out of the room!

Lucifel: No, like I said, I just know everyone would kill me if I didnt make this wedding everything Haku wants Haku: -blissfully happyZakura: All right lets go!! -They do the electric sideI need some advice. It can be from anyone, I just need a little perspective. What do you do when your "Best Friend" starts to tell everybody that your a backstabbing whore becaus you recently became like a sister to their crush?...sorry to bother you all with my stupid problem.. Kirchi

Sakura: Well you know you should Itachi: I got this one. The only answer for a situation like this is mass murder. Orochimaru: Usually by way of sheep. Itachi: Definitely. Zakura: Hell yeah! Oh and you mentioned bringing one of us to Italy Itachi: I WANNA GO!!! Zakura: Shut up you. Take anyone whos not playing D&D right now. Itachi: fuck you. Sakura: I deserve to go!! Zakura: You cant. Without you theres no one to run this thing. Sakura: But you all took over it anyway! Zakura: Whatever: -makes w signOrochimaru: I WANNA SEE EUROPE!! Jiraiya: I WANNA SEE TOPLESS EUROPEAN WOMEN!! Kurenai: -throws skilletTHUNK Jiraiya: -collapseAsuma: Yeahthat skillet was always kind of annoying Shikamaru: Why do you men deal with such troublesome women?

Asuma: -shrugs- Something about women, yknow? You cant help it Shikamaru: -scoff- Or about love in general Asuma: -putting hand on Shikas shoulder- Or about love in general.
CAN I HUGGLE YOU CHIBI-KYUUBI?!?? I WANNA HUGGLE YOU! amber: great. shes high on mountain dew... oh, orochimaru, incase you were wondering, i have been the one attempting to throw firey things at you. mostly anyway. can i please hit him with one lucifel?or can you just light him on fire once? i wanna see him burn! thats my dream in life ^^ anyay, have a great wedding haku! oh!!did you freaking know, duckies say quack!!COWS SAY MOO TOO!!ITS REALLY AMAZING! OMG! i totally didnt know until yesterday! And kiba, you can shut up about freakin pokemon. its annoying me. i am bored of them now. is this too long? im sorry T_T amber: i wish she'd shut up! evil... anyway, what are you gonna do now that your a girl, orochimaru? its wierd cuz now you might get pregnant, so might haku. i dunno. PLEASE CAN I HUG YOU KYUUBI! PLEASE!! oh, for zakura, i will give you -whispers- naked pics of hinata. but keep it a secret! say hi and stuff amber! lemme go get your coco now... amber: ok. hi. how are you? i dont care.im fine. zakura, can you be my friend, we're a lot alike, only im bi. coco! yay! want some? NO!! i dont wanna make more! amber: is that your choice? -sigh- who wants coco? amber: thats what i thought... Sakura: Someone needs to keep H. T. away from the soda we have here for the wedding. Zakura: -glancing over- Shes part of the hoard trying to hug Kyuubi, shes ok for now...well just keep an eye on her. shiftily puts photographs in inside pocketHaku: We should all have coco!!! -H.T. is forced to provide coco for everyone. Yay for involuntary slave laborWhile theyre all drinking their cocoa, being all friendly and whatnot from the dark lake suddenly and frappuccino-splattered figure rises. A few people scream before they realize; its just Kakashi. Sakura: Kakashi-sensei!! Why were you late?! Its rude!! Kakashi: Im sorry I gotTHROWN INTO A FUCKING FRAPPUCCINO POOL!!!! Naruto: eh, the line about the road of life was better. Kakashi: Anyway, its coolIm just a frappuccino zombie now. Sakura: Oh, hahawait, what? Kakashi: -starts ransacking the place- I will turn the brain of the one who threw me into the pool into a frappuccionooooo!! Gaara: hehe, I pity the foo who did that. Kimimaro: Uh, Gaara? You did. Gaara: Hehehehehewhat? I did? I DID!! SHITSHITSHIT!!! runs and hidesGai: Gah! No! My rival has beaten me!! He managed to come back from the dead as a frappuccino zombie! I must prove that I, too can come back from the dead!! prepares for seppukuLee: GAAH! No sensei! Think of it that you beat him by surviving longer!!

Gai: Ohgood point. Well, now lets see if I cant vanquish this sugary caffienated zombie!! -Gai and Kakashi duke it out it the distanceLee: YOSH!! Go Gai-sensei! Hey HakuXZabu isnow a hetero couple but does that make Haku like michael jackson in the firld that he converted from a boy to a girl...anyways on with the questions... Sakura: Ok really stop being yourself in the regular series and be yourself in the shippuden you're cooler than Zakur...nm.. Hinata: Since I am a derranged idiot i dare you to kiss Neji hurray for incest Zabuza: -pulls out sword- wheres the kid who said Hakus like M.J.?

Zakura: Hiding under the table with A.H.S.Ill help you drag him out. Sakura: No, no! Leave him alone! Zakura: I could probably talk A.H.S. into giving him to us Hinata: Wuhwhat?! I cant kiss Neji!! Itachi: But its JUST incest!!! Kabuto: ..guheww Neji: You heard the man! kisses herItachi: Now, now Neji. The dare is for HER to kiss YOU not the other way around Zakura: THAT COUNTS!!! seethes- Im so gonna kill this kid
just when I thought Orochimaru couldnt get any sexier...I was right and you turned into THAT... anyways...-gives haku present wrapped in shiny,shiny paperKabuto: why do you wear glasses? you'd think an experienced male nurse such as yourself would know a jutsu to see better or something... much love, wewacian ps, Kyuubi...have some loud obnoxious polka to annoy the others when they call you cute -hands cds and cd player and stereo and speakers and extra speakersOrochimaru: I am TOO sexy like this!!

Jiraiya: -nodnodnodTsunade: -gagsHaku: Oooooh-plays with shiny paperKabuto: Wellthats actuallya really boring story Kimimaro: He tried once. giggles- He had fine eyesight and then tried to make it like, times ten for normal humans and ended up maming his eyeballs.

Kabuto: hrmmmm. Kimimaro: haha, he was too terrified to ever try again. snickersKabuto: Shut up. Youre mean Kyuubi: -connects polka music to the speakersEveryone: NOOOOO!!! Kakashi: -suddenly collapsesGai: I have vanquished him!!! Kyuubi: hmmm-turns off polkaKakashi: -raises up- GRAAAAAH!!! Kyuubi: -turns music back onKakashi: -collapsesAsuma: so the zombie is weak against polka music? Shikamaru: Dont askdont EVEN ask
Anyway I have decided on one thing I will let 5 people be the judge of whether or not you get the sterio and you still will have to listen to the CDs of Atreyu Death grip on Yesterday and Avenged Sevenfold City of Evil the people are Naruto-san duh, Hinata-chan, Deidara-Kun, Haku, and Itachi even though he's not there he won't have to listen to it so if those 5 say yes you get it but have to listen to the Cd's but Naruto and Hinata won't have to if they listen to their own music that I tossed in their earlier yay. And now for random crap that Angel might edit out. Hopefully you guys will survive. Itachi please kill one of them preferably Lee or Kabuto. I hope you guys had as much fun as I did. By Lyon Ryuushi Haku: Of COURSE you can all have the stereo!

Hinata: Yeahsureo-of course Naruto: I want the stereo! So yeah! Itachi: Whatever. I dont CARE. Deidara: Nope. Everyone: Gah. NOOO!! WHYYY?! Deidara: Im a bitchyeah. Everyone: -sniffles-

Itachi: I dont feel like it

HAVE A NEW TITLE NOW!! ...Arashi the Uncut and Unedited! I LIKE it! Anyway...yay!! Singing! To me!! That totally made my day! Speaking of my day...Orochimaru, I found something eviler than you and Itachi combined! OUR STATE'S STANDARDIZED TESTS. Ohh, how I sympathize with you all...trapped in a room...gah. With lazy-people sammiches! Haku, dear, I would have come up with kimonos for you...::points to wastebasket full of crumpled sketches:: but I could design nothing worthy of you. Oh, and my question for you is: Do you want flowers at your wedding? If you do, can I do them? I know lots 'bout flowers. Like, there's this tree, and it looks like it's a red cloud. And there are these flowers that look JUST like fireworks. Woo! ::rubs the back of her head:: I sowwy to be a disgrace, Zakura. It's not as though I'd date him, `cos I wouldn't. But he gave me bouncy techno music. VENGABOYS, HOO FRIKIN YEAH!! Er...next question...Gaara...If you got changed into a girl, would you be a lesbian or would you remain gay, which would technically make you straight? Er...confuzzled myself. And...Hinata...same question, just reversed. If that makes sense, which it doesn't, really. OMG I JUST REMEMBERED!! I'm going to a ComicCon!! My first ever, since I never have the moneys...I'm dressing as Haku and plan on using needles to fight my way to the pocky tables!! POCKY! And Ramune! Ramune comes in these awesome little bottles that have a marble in them and they roll! My Nii-san went to a convention but he only brought back empty bottles because he's EVIL and I was sad. I think I'm getting sick, `cos I have a headache. Maybe I'm just suffering from caffeine withdrawal. I made this syrup (by boiling coffee and sugar together until thick) so I could survive the damned Daylight Saving time change, but I'm out. I pity you all...trapped without coffee...blessed coffee...I'm sorry I'm not so psychotic today...coffee is needed. DONATE TO MEH COFFEE FUND! Hey, do Akatsuki members get paid? `Cos, they should. They're just awesome like that. I'M GONNA SING THE DOOM SONG NOW! No, I'm not. Love, sorries, and RAMUNE! Arashi of the Red Scarf (who has a headache, and will feel better as soon as the horrible CSAPs pass) PS: this letter is 395 words long...::sigh:: thats like half my last letter... Haku: Thank you for the flowers Arashi!!

Zabuza: yeahthanks Zakura: Meh, its ok. Youre cool so long as you dofavors for me-dives onto ArashiSakura: AHHH!! NOOO!! Gaara: Id keep liking who I like Zakura: Hey, you can talk again Gaara: Hrrk!! NOOOOOO!! runs awayZakura: -almost chases, but decides to stay with ArashiHinata: idont knowId probably still like the same people. side-glances at NarutoNaruto: -OBLIVIOUSSakura: Anyway, good to hear from ya Arashi!!
First off im sorry Lucifel but I cant be your pet...ive had a bad experiance in that realm...hehehe... To Kyuubi: Eat someone in the room and youll grow hehe... Finally -does hand seals after biting thumb and says kuchiyose no jutsu to summon manda!- Hehehe He's

in a very bad mood so some of you might potentially die..Well im gonna go play poker with the DM ( Lucifel and Zakura can join if they want)

Lucifel: Well FINE. Jadens my pet anyway. snuggles JadenNaruto: -GASP- The mysteriously shadowed girl cuddling Emperor Jaden must be Lucifel! Lucifel: Eep. poofs away-MeanwhileManda appears in the room. Manda: ? where am Ihuhthis is very, very annoying-notices the knocked-out Kankuro- hmmyumm -back at the weddingZakura: Dont catch the flu. Hes got it pretty bad. Lucifel: Im in!! I cant catch an illness I made!!
Congratulations Haku for getting married AND becoming a female! welcome to the world of females... You will find out about the crappy stuff that come with being female.. How many times can I say female? Let's not find out. ANYWAYS! I would like to send you and Zabuza to a) Tokyo!(I lova Japan..) b) Paris! (I also love France.. But I don't like French people) b) LAPLAND! (it's REALLY beautiful at winter. And it's in Finland. And Finland is in Europe JUST SO YOU KNOW!) Oh and your wedding gifts would be... okay so I can't think of any! Maybe those honeymoon would do... To everyone else... HI! Deidara is my rolemodel! Exploding stuff and all... It's too bad our teacher in chemistry won't let us make a bomb or explode anything.. Orochimaru... It's just WRONG that you have become a woman... Haku: OH YAY!!! Lots of places to go!! Driving to do! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

Zabuza: Stingy bastard. Haku: No, I dont mind about the presents! smileDeidara: Explosions are funyeahyou should make explosions anyway. Teachers suckyeah Orochimaru: Maybe its just RIGHT that Im a woman. Jiraiya: Ill say.
LOLZ! great story Lucifel -blows Lucifel a kiss to show how much she loved it- AKATSUKI ROCK! okay questions Itachi: heres a frappucino for surviving 3 days wivout well dun! how did you find out about akatsuki? Gaara: Are you related to the sandman? Everybody: who's a virgin and who isn't, i think somethings have changed since the beginning of this ff. kk thats all! once again luv the ff lucifel, oh and NARUTO LOVES ITACHI AND SASUKE IT'S A WELL KNOWN FACT HE GETS MOLESTED BY UCHIHAS!

June x

Lucifel: YAY!! Kisses!! Itachi: YES!!!!!! Slurps frappuccino greedily- So, yeah, I slept with this one guy Deidara: -Raises handItachi: So yeah, he invited me in afterwards. Twas cool. Deidara: -nodsGaara: -glaresZakura: -catches him.- Lets go boy-drags him to LeeGaara: -dragging heels- Nonoooo Zakura: -throws him at Lee- SAY IT!! Lee: -catching Gaara- ? Gaara: II Zakura: Just SAY IT!!! Gaara: ILOVEYOULEE!! Lee: -blinks- Oh wow Gaara Gaara: -blushblushblushLee: I love you as a brother in arms too! I never thought you were such a kind-hearted comrade!! Zakura: youre really lucky hes such an airhead. OI! Virgins!! RAISE YOUR HANDS!! Hina/Naru/Saku/Cho: -raise handsZakura: Hot damn. Were all sluts. Asuma: OR pimps. Zakura: not in YOUR case!

Asuma: You bitch Zakura: And I dont even try.

Zakura-chan: do u mind the suffix? anyway, y don't u come out more often in the series? Kiba-san: LAY OFF THE FRIGGIN POKEMON MAN ( u'll have a heart attack if u don't) whatthehellwasithinkin

Zakura: Well, sama would be betterbut whatever. And because, Sakura doesnt usually need this much straightening out. Naruto: So you come out to help Sakura when shes in a fix? Zakura: what?! NO!! Naruto: Sure... Kiba: Whats wrong with pokemon?! Asuma: For one, most kids over ten dont like it anymorenone with taste anyway Kiba: meanies.
Congratulations! Happy wedding day! Hope you like the sweet surprise in the middle of your ice cream mountain. Don't forget about the mini-bar I gave ya a couple chapters back either! Gosh, weddings are so nice... 1) So Kyuubi, how does it feel to be about as big as your average chiuahua? Punk... 2) Kiba, what's your favorite pokemon? Nerd... heheh. For the two honeymooners, uh, honeymoon, I would suggest a nice, peaceful escape into the wilderness of Washington State. It's where I'm from, so you'd definitely like it. Hope you guys have a great honeymoon regardless! *standing resplendent in my own wedding kimono, I beam with pride and goodwill at the happily married couple* Later, Khellan Rafe

Haku: Oooh! Oh yeah! Now that weve eaten food and cake, its time for ice cream!! Everyone: YAY!! eats-WTF?! Fudge and peppermint? Haku: Yummmm. THANKS KHELLEN!! Kyuubi: Im as big as the average cocker spaniel you bastard!! Kurenai: Because that makes all the difference in the world. Kyuubi: IT DOES!!! Kiba: Oooh! Jigglypuff!!

-cricketsKiba: What? Shes like, invincible with that song of hersplus Im on a sugar high from ice cream. Zakura: One; you LIKE that abomination of an ice cream flavor? And twoyou better hope thats the only reason youre being such a flaming fag. Kiba: I am not Shino: -snort- typical Kiba: -whineHaku: Oh! The wilderness will be lovely! Maybe we could make a southern detour to the redwoods! Thisll be so lovely!! Zakura: Ok, lets get the last few things out of the way, eh? Kurenai: SPEECH FROM THE GROOM!! Everyone: SPEECH!! SPEECH!! Zabuza: Fuck no Everyone: SPEEEEEEECH!!! Haku: Please? Zabuza: -sigh- -stands- OksoUmmoriginally I never thought I would go to the trouble of getting married. Never even thought I would fall in love butthen I met Haku. I fell in love. I didnt even notice I had butthis boy showed me everything I had been missing in my life. And still, although this is all to frilly and fancy for mefor him its worth it. kisses HakuEveryone: WOOOOOT!!! YEAH!!!! WOOHOOO!!! Kisame: -shakes head at Zabuzas sillinessHaku: Speech from the maid of honor!! Sakura: Whos the maid of honor? Haku: Naruto!

Naruto: Hey Haku: :3 Naruto: Ummfinewell, I only met Haku once before all that happened recently but even in that little time I could tell that he was a sweet, beautiful boy, who looked at a world which had cuased him great pain and suffering with a certain singular innocence and kindness that no one could match. Especially in his love for Zabuza. And, as much as I dont really trust this groomI know its with Zabuza that Haku is happiest. Congrats you guys. -Thunderous applauseZakura: Ok, were gonna move on with this PARTAY!! -They do the Macarena, the electric slide again, the chacha, swing dance, headbanging/thrashing. Of course, they have to have polka playing with it the whole time to keep Kakashi out of it. Everyone dances a whole bunch, and Gaara got Lee to dance with himbut then fainted and never actually got to. Kimimaro consoled him after finishing his dance with Kabuto. Orochimaru was glued to Jiraiyas side the whole night, and Tsunade hung with them toountil Shizune broke out and pulled her off to finish paperwork. Shikamaru went back and forth from hanging with Choji to Asuma and they all made fun of how Ino skipped just to go to a club or somethingthe whore. Temari and Tenten ended up making outand morebackstage, and then Zakura and Arashi joined in. Neji got laid by the drunk duo of Kotetsu and Izumo. Hehhe. Kurenai was dancing with all the men, especially Khellen Rafe. So yeah, after dancing with Kimi he ended up dancing with Sakura a whole lotyayeah. Shino continues to ignore Kiba coldly, going as far as to flirt with Genma. SO, after a lot more of this, Haku and Zabuza started to finish up and prepare for their honeymoon.Kiba: -Suddenly jumps on stage- HEY EVERYONE!! Everyone: -quiets and looks overKiba: Ok, so, congrats on the wedding, and I hate to take the attention away but I have something VERY important to say! Haku: YAY!! Go on Kiba! Kiba: -deep breath- OK! I am Kiba Inuzuka and I am completely, head-over-heals, uncontrollably in love with Shino Aburame! jumps down, gathers Shino up and kisses him deeplyShino: -stunnedKiba: I love you, man.

Shino: II love you too Kiba: -kisses him againShino: -kisses him backEveryone: -APPLUASE!!Haku: Im so glad my wedding brought about so much loveWell, off to our honeymoon everyone!! Zabuza: Later bitches. -they drive awayif you can call it drivinginto the sunset-All the fans are returned home, (so youre gone guys, GONE I say), and after cleaning up, everyone is returned to the room and/or dungeonSakura: BoyIm glad we managed to stow Kakashi away in Asumas closet Everyone: no shit.

Ask Sakura 22 Lucifel: Wassup, wassup my home dogs?! I wanna give yall a little warning about the new author on the block. Her names Kryah and her first story was FREAKING AWESOME and want all yall to read it! Its called Usachan and its the best shit around as far as haku/zabu fluff goes. :) Haku: I loved it! And so did Zabuza!!! Zabuza: -sitting on the hood of the car with a map- fucking mapis that rightshit its upside downfuck, are we really that far out?! Haku: Hell tell you all about it when hes done figuring out how we got in the Nevada desert on our way to the Bahamas Lucifel: Ok, sorry I was late this time!! My bad, but it was a CRAZY weekend, no lie. I did a lot of editing, to everyone equally; please dont get mad about it. Honestly though, this has been one of the best batches of reviews, I loved them all and they all made me laugh and gave me inspiration, Id just like to thank you all for that cause Ive been majorly stressing lately. Well, lets see how everyone back at the ranch is doing! Gaara: Dammit, were back in fucking dungeon Kimimaro: but your robe looks sexy. Gaara: YeahI know. strutsLee: -puts on green armor- I am teh awesome!!! Itachi: Suuuure you are. Lee: -does lots of posessome of them accidentally erotic, giving Gaara a minor hard-onGaara: Eeplets move on Kimimaro: -snickerGaara: Fuck you.

Kimimaro: If you tried it would just get worse Gaara: -glaresKimimaro: -giggling- Well, Zakura said were gonna have to find the way home on the last levelshould we go looking? Lee: How many levels are there?! Kabuto: I dont even wanna guess DM: No you dont. Kimimaro: Shouldnt you be GONE?! DM: Nah, I can do two campaigns Kimimaro:ok
Well, I felt the need to piss off half of the people in the room.. Soo! -Kisses Hinata all hot and smecksay like.- Anyways~! How'd you like that, Hinata? And I also wanna remind Jiraiya and Orochi-sama.. They said, chapters ago, that when they got out, they'd give me hugs. Don't forget about that or else I'll.. steal all of both of your porn!.. Rant~

Hinata: MPPPFF!! Neji/Kure/Shin/Kiba: O.< Zakura: Too bad fans dont stick around long enough to be mauled Neji/Kure/Shin/Kiba: GRRRRRRAAAA!!!!! tries to kill himthey fail- DAMN!! Hinata: Why is everyone violating meeee? Neji: Oh, Hina-chan, Ill protect you! HugsHinata: YOU violated me TOO!! Neji: Oh yeahwhoops Jiraiya: Ok, ok, I willdamnI was so distracted by Oro boobs I forgot to hug her Orochimaru: Ill hug you!!! Deidara: Hes getting even bouncier now that hes a womanyeahcould be a pain

Shikamaru: All these potions are so troublesomeand so is the snakehes taking up room Manda: -is curled in a corner, purring. He fell asleep not long after they got there. Occasionally they hear strangely Kankuro-esque screams, buuut no one really wants to investigate. Orochimaru is lounging on his coilsNeji: you gonna something about it? Shikamaru: and go to all that trouble? No.
That was a beautiful wedding and an awesome reception. I am glad shino and kiba made up. As for questions: kyuubi: Is there anything I can do to make your chibisizeness better? Just to let you know you rock as both chibi and regular. Haku and Zabuza: you guys planning on having any kids and if so how many and what gender would you want? Love almost all of you... A Falling Angel

Kiba: -blush- thanks Shino: -smiles and snuggles into Kibas lapKyuubi: I know I rockbut I wanna be large!! LARGE dammit!! Kiba: Im sure Neji can relate. Neji: HEY! Haku: As much as Id love to Zabuza: -twitchHaku: Probably not. I mean, Id love to bear Zabuza-sans children, but they would be so isolated from the world andwell, it would just be difficult. Zabuza: That, and I hate kids. Haku: ButI was a kid the first time you slept with meand Im only fourteen or so now Zabuza: -blushing- thats differentIm talking about raising kids Haku: teehee
Naru-chan! You are not a virgin! admit it you are in a relationship with Sasugay! Itachi and other Akatsuki: who is the hottest demon vessel? Deidara: Is it true Sasori has a hug deprivation issue? Oh and im pissed off with Shino he so god damn cool and stoic, it's really hard to write about his

character, he's giving me writers block T.T . I send more frapuccinos to Itachi and Gaara (mr sandman) and more kisses to the wonderful Lucifel. June x

Naruto: But I am!! Zakura: I believe it. The day this kid gets laid is the day tonton sprouts wings. Kyuubi: Hes never been laid so long as Ive been aroundthats be NASTY. Naruto: And Sasukes especially gross! Zakura: then what about all the Naru/Sasu nonsense in your apartment? Sakura: I was trying to BLOCK that memory, thank you! Zakura: -ignores- well? Naruto: Gaara brought that over! Hes weird and creepy like that! I was just too lazy to throw it out! Zakura: Suuure Gaara: So then I brought him this HUGE collection of Naru/Sasu porn I found just to creep him out Kimimaro: thats hilarious! Youre so mean! Gaara: Its how our friendship ishehbet he still has the stuff in his closet Deidara: Very true about Sasori. Even with all the hugging we didyeah Orochimaru: You expect me to believe you guys just hugged? Deidara: That was after the kinky sexyeah Orochimaru: Ooooh, I get it now, ok thats cool. Kiba: -snuggles Shino- its the way I like him. Shino: Im not this way for you, dumbass. Kiba: But I still like it. Shino: -smiles, kissesItachi: Yay! Frappuccino!!

Gaara: Why does mine have a label saying Mr. Sandman on it? Kimimaro: Well if youre too offended-reaches for cupGaara: -pulling away quickly- NO!! NoIll drink it. Lee: Im a little thirsty right now actually Gaara: -hands him frappuccino while blushing furiouslyLee: Oh, thank you Gaara! I suppose as a ninja of the desert youre more used to going thirsty, good tactical thinking. Kimimaro: One, hes the densest kid Ive ever seen and two that doesnt even make sensehes so dumb Gaara: -blush- But hes so cute Kimimaro rolls eyesA.H.S: -Groans loudly holding her head- My head is pounding, but that wedding was great. The other Akatsuki, including Sasuke: -nods- Hidan: Umm...Why do you have a shiny new ring on your finger? A.H.S.: -Blinks, checking and screechs!- WTF?!?! Others: -Looks to their own hands, seeing similar golden bands, including Sasuke.- A.H.S: -Twitches- Sasuke...too?...EW! How drunk was I to get hitched to my organization and twin?!?! Sasori: -Cuddles- I'm happy! Ok...My question is this...What the hell happened at the wedding to cause this?!?!?! And Itachi and Dei-kun...Please tell me your not wearing a wedding band either as well as anyone else...Otherwise I think I'll go insane an committ a mass murdering of Carebears...

Zakura: heheheI knew giving out fake wedding rings to everyone at the reception was a good idea. Sakura: What? Zakura: Oh nothing Sakura: -sighs and mutter- I miss Kabuto Zakura: -perks up- hmn?! What was that? Sakura: None of your damn business!! Zakura: uhuhsuuure Naruto: Why miss Kabuto when Im here! Sakura: Because he was the only sound-minded man here aside from the loving Orochimaru thing.

Orochimaru: Loving me is not crazy! Its brilliant! Jiraiya: -nods and keeps staring at Oros boobsItachi: No I dont have a fucking wedding ringweird girl Kabuto: -holding back a bugbear- A little HELP Itachi!? Itachi: I have four fucking hit points and have thrown all my daggers!! What do you want form me?! Kabuto: I dont know! Anything! Kimimaro: -finishes bugbear off with the missiles of the magicKabuto: -phew- Thanks, Kimi. Kimimaro: -blushDM: You all ding again. Lee: YOSH!! LEVEL FOUR!! Gaara: -sweat drop- its level three, Lee. Lee: Close enough! Itachi: Sois he really that dumb or? Gaara: I dont even know
Only FOUR people want to go to Italy with me? THat's really hurtful. Naruto-san doesn't want to partake in Italian noodles (and gelato)? I would've taken that advice, but I live in Florida, possibly one of the most sheep-less states in America. ...When I do pick somebody, does anybody want us to bring back souveniers? Thought it'd be polite to ask. Congratulations Zabuza-san and Haku-san! Give Bunna-chan to your first, okay? Sincerely, Kirchi

Sakura: I wanted to go!! Shikamaru: I want to go, I was buys when you asked and it was too troublesome to answer. Naruto: You didnt tell me they had NOODLES in Italy!! TAKE ME!! TAKE ME!! I WANT EUROPEAN RAMEN!!

Kyuubi: Shit, Ill go. I love destroying random historical architecture. I didnt know the invite was open to anyone. Shino: Of course I wanna go. Kiba: youd leave me all alone for two weeks?! Shino: -blinks- Yeeees. Its Italy. Kiba: -whimperZakura: If you bring back souvenirs Ill let you give to everyone, so go aheadbut mine better be the best. By which I mean bringing me a whole fucking gelato stands with sexy Italian women to serve me and everything. You know something like that. Jiraiya: -drools at the thoughtKurenai: I figured it went without saying that Id want to go Orochimaru: Who cares if you have no sheep? IMPORT!! Ill pay for it! Haku: Aww, now I want a baby just to give Bunna-chan to it. Zabuza: GAH!! has a brief seizure of horror and they skid off the road and into a treeHaku: Oh no Zabuza: Fuck. Haku: Well never make it in time now-starts tearing upZabuza: Well if you hadnt scared me half to death!! Haku: I didnt mean to! Zabuza: Dammit, Haku, dont whine at me right now Im stressed out enough with this damn honeymoon as it is. Haku: I thought you WANTED this?! Zabuza: I thought so too! But this has just turned into a disaster! Haku: I just wanted a normal wedding and honeymoon-sobsZabuza: -looks at Haku, makes a frustrated sigh and then gets out of the car, slamming the door behind him-

Haku: -leaning forward to talk out the open window.- Where are you going? Zabuza: For a walk. Haku: Where? Zabuza: I dont fucking know, I just wanna walk Haku: Dont godont leave me alone Zabuza: dammit, Haku,,,-gets back in the car, sits glaring out the windshieldHaku: -sniffles and slides over to him and leans against his shoulderZabuza: -sighs and puts his arm around him- Why must you be so damn cute? Haku: So that you will love me. Zabuza: You dont have to be cute to make me love you. Haku: Im sorry I talked you ito all of this -outside it starts rainingZabuza: -sighs again- Its okI guess well spend the night in this car thenlook for help in the morning. Haku: Ok -they hugCome out of the closet Kakashi... I'm sorry, I can't help myself. (Holds can of Kyuubi chakra) This is enough to upgrade your size to that of the average golden retriever. Accept all hugs this chapter without complaint and it's all yours. Sakura: You thought Kabuto was creepy? But you didn't know he was evil when you first met him! You thought he was just a crappy, six-times-failed ninja... wait, I just answered my own question. THAT ONE DOESN'T COUNT! Naruto: Why did you let Jiraiya be the one to teach you to summon? No offense Jiraiya, but he should've picked Kakashi. Dogs>Snakes>Toads>Slugs. 'Nuff said. Avatarjk137

((Elsewhere)) Kakashi: -bangs on closet doorsAsuma: Wtf? Opens closet- ARRRRRGGG!!! Kakashi: Dude, Im fine. It was a joke. The kids and Gai just fell for it a little too much

Asuma: Are you shitting me? Kakashi: WellI was a little pissed Asuma: What about the weakness to polka music? Kakashi: -shudders- I hate polka music Asuma: I can understand that Kakashi: So, do you wanna get it on? Asuma: G-get what on? Kakashi: I think you know -pouncesAsuma: MPF!! ((Sooo)) Kyuubi: DONE!! absorbs Chakra- HELLZ YEwait, why am I only the size of an average fox? Zakura: You used up chakra absorbing chakrait all works out in the end. Kyuubi: I hate you Zakura: Brace yourself for hugging impact. Sakura: And yeah, I thought it was creepy how much he failedand he was like, that icky kind of fake charming, you know? It was gross Zakura: Oh like you really noticed how fake he was. Thats bullshit. Sakura: You shut up! Zakura: Right, cuz Im totally gonna listen to you Naruto: Jiraiya may be a stupid pervert but he is really good at what he does Jiraiya: And toads rock!! Naruto: Plus Kakashi was too busy training Sasukegrr
I got snuggled by Lucifiel-chan! Yay! ^_^ *Kisses her, and gives her a hug* Haku-chan/Zabuza-san: Once again, congrats on your wedding! May you both find eternal happiness, and glory, and enjoy heaven

Lucifel-chan: You don't get that much dares, do you? I'll do it! I dare you..to kiss me, and allow me to hug you, again! *Grins* Hehe...I get another kiss and hug. Everyone: Listen up, I'm Lucifiel-chans pet/friend, boyfriend?, and I won't allow you to hurt her, if she wants to snuggle me, you leave her alone, or I'll complete Itachi on you. P.S.: All of you have fun!...Which I know you all are, even if you don't want to admit it!...Oh, and congrats Shino/Kiba.

Sakura: Oh, nu-uh, bitch did NOT get a boyfriend before me!! Lucifel: Damn straight I did. And I get to have a collar on him and pet him and everything. Lots of hugging and kissing and cuddling- Yay! Now I have an FF best friend, and an FF boyfriend!! WOOTSKI! Zakura: Damnwell that aint fair. Neji: Dont you and Arashi have a thing? Zakura: Naw, shes got Temari. Muffled Kankuro-like voice from Mandas stomach: Hey! Get away from my sister! Manda: -hisses- Hes not digesting well Orochimaru: Im sorry dear Kurenai: Did he just call the snake dear? Deidara: yeahhe didyeah Neji: I dont even want to know Naruto: I dont care!! I will find and destroy her!! Lee: YOSH!! Itachi: And what the fuck was that for? Kimimaro: Does he need a reason anymore? Gaara: He better have a reason for being so damn cute. Kabuto: Well thats cute. Gaara: GAH!! Where the fuck did Kimi go!? Kabuto: -points a few feet in front of them- Dont worry, the only person its not totally obvious to is Lee. Gaara: -glares-

HT: ok. i hope you had a happy wedding! and *sniff* i have no more coco mix... amber: MAKE MORE ANYWAY! HT: YES MA'AM! *scurries off* amber: sup everyone? i know that this isnt much of a suprise, but haku, your really cute. and zabuza, i cant believe you could kill me, and kyuubi, can i have one of your tails? please? i know, it must be odd to imagine some gangster huggling a fuzzy tail, but hey, thats how i am. HT: THEY HAVE NO MORE COCO MIX AT THE STORE! amber: GODDAMMIT WOMAN! I DONT CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO! JUST MAKE ME SOME DAMN COCO! HT: WAH! *runs to petco* amber: *shakes head* you just cant find good slaves nowadays. HT: OMG! GUESS WHO I FOUND!! *drags in sasuke* amber: you captured him AGAIN?? and wheres my goddamn coco bish!? sasuke: i want coco too! HT: I FORGOT!! dont kill me amber-san! amber: just get the frickin coco. sasuke: i think ill stay till i get my coco. amber: you missed haku's wedding. sasuke: what? damn... wait, what the hell? orochimaru is a girl? HT: HERES YOUR COCO! *gives everyone coco* amber: DAMMIT!! YOU BOUGHT THIS READY MADE DIDNT YOU!! WELL MAKE IT FROM SCRATCH LAZY BISH! HT: WAH! T_T oh, im sorry that this is so long...

Sakura: That really was longeven for HTI mean, theres like no questions in there Zakura: AND its edited. Lucifel: I LOVE YOU HT!!! Kiba: Hot damngirl can talk Zakura: So? Ive got coco now, Im happy. Kiba: you have the ability to be happy? Zakura: -flips the fingerNeji: How many places is Sasuke at?! Naruto: And why doesnt he have to be trapped in here with us?! Zakura: To hold out the suspense as long as possible. Now Kyuubi, give the girl one of your tails. Kyuubi: Wtf?! NO! Zakura: Come on, Kyuubi. Kyuubi: Isnt there a rule about removing things from the room somewhere?! Zakura: I can break the rules!!

Kyuubi: No you cant! Get away from me!! -chaseYea c'est moi(random french dude dies)aw!!Kyuubi is uber cute!^-^But anyways(makes Kyuubi drink potion)it'll make you about 5 foot from paw to shoulder and you can still be CUTE!anyway Gaara, could you help me? I have this god damned 3 headed dragon inside me and well...it has a rather...dirty mind.any tips? anyone?

Kyuubi: YES!! Zakura: -pulling potion away- Nu-uh! Not until you give HT one of your tails! Kyuubi: butbut Zakura: Thems the rules. Kyuubi: I hate you. Zakura: Give me your tail. Kyuubi: No. Zakura: -throws away potion- Ok then. Kyuubi: -whimperGaara: huh? Oh-reads- dude, I dunno. Just dont deal with it like I did. Kimimaro: Get group therapy or something. Gaara: youre such an idiot. Kimimaro: Teehee. Kabuto: -stopping at a door to the side of them- Hold on guysI think theres something behind this door Itachi: Clerics have a spidey sense now? Kabuto: No but...this door is kind conspicuous dont you think? Itachi: Youre the nerd, you would know. Kabuto: Fuck you. Kimimaro: We may as well go in.

Kabuto: Well it might be booby trappedand Itachis being difficultwe need someone to kick the door in who wont get too badly damage by a booby trap Kimimaro: Hey Lee! Kick this door down! Gaara: Gah! No! Lee: YOSH!! kicks door down-bucket of water tips over and pours on him.Kimimaro: is that it? Kabuto: thats really sad DM: GOD! I thought it was funny! You all suck! Kabuto: Whatever
To team Lee: who has actually played D&D before? To Shikamaru: You are so cool! Paper Draginfly and I were commenting that Kakashi and Genma and all of the really powerful jounins are lazy like you. Did you notice? So are you copying them to try and be more successful, or are they copying you? Zakura: If Sakura is a virgin how can you not be!? you haven't been out of her that long. Shikamaru... again. sorry but I have to know. I notice you didn't raise your hand as a virgin, so answer either who you lost it to or who was the last person you had sex with? I'm Sorry!! ~KohakuKawa

Lee: Ah! That water was very cold but refreshing! It must have been made to refresh weary warriors! Ita/Kabu/Kimi/Gaa: sure Lee. Kabuto: I didnt just fucking play, I DMed the damn thing! Itachi: You nerd. Kimimaro: I played-blushesGaara: Dork. Lee: technically were all playing right now, arent we? Itachi: I refuse to be a nerd!! Lee: YAY! I just realized she addressed it to team Lee!! YAY!! Kimimaro: Shouldnt Kabuto and I be the leaders? I meanwe actually partially know whats going on here.

DM: Well, if youre so experienced are you ever gonna look around the damn ROOM?! Kabuto: Oh yeahheh DM: The room is small and square, the door closes behind you and seals into the wall. There is writing covering the walls in common and elfish. Kimimaro: Elfish looks suspiciously like Japanese. DM: Shut up! What are you gonna do? Kabuto: Lets get reading Gaara: Arent you at all worried that were trapped in here? Kimimaro: Calm down, were stuck in a room with writing on the walls, its a riddle and when we solve it, well get out. Lee: -gasps- butIm no good at riddles. Kabuto: thats why people with intelligence existto cover the fighters ass. Shikamaru: UmmI dont know. I never made a conscious decision to be lazy. Naruto: He was too lazy to. Shikamaru: Pretty much. Zakura: Now just cuz Arashi wants Temari doesnt mean Sakura: I DONT WANNA KNOW!! Zakura: Sure you dothe three of usSakura: NONONOONNONO!! Kankuro; NOONONONONONONO!!! Manda: Grrr Zakura: So anywayShikamaru? Shikamaru: Yes?

Zakura: The question? Shikamaru: -blush- I already answered a question from her. Zakura: too bad. Lets go. Shikamaru: IwellI Zakura: come ON! Shikamaru: I Itachi: Why are my incest senses tickling? Shikamaru: Asuma-sensei Everyone besides Oro, Dei and the beasts: -shockItachi: I guess it was a false alarm Zakura: I KNEW itwaitin answer to which question? Shikamaru: The first Zakura: wowsowaitat the wedding? Shikamaru: We were just talking and playing shogi. Zakura: Youare really fucking boring. Shikamaru: Naw, just lazy-smirkAnjiru: Itachi-sama, those lines under your eyes, is that because of drinking too much frap or just lack of sleep or another reason that you're hiding from all of your fangirls?!?! Danie: Oh!! I get to give them the gifts! ^^ Anjiru: No!! Let's do it alternately... Danie: *frowns* Okay... Danie: To Kurenai-sama; A new 24 karat gold set of skillets(complete with diamonds) so that it doesn't break easily.. And a life time supply of Cadbury CHOCOLATE! (Don't worry they aren't poisonous or anything) Anjiru: To Zakura-sama; A Hinata plushie!! Handmade by me!! Eveything I make is so cute that people pay me millions just to get one! But for you, IT IS TOTALLY FREE! Danie: To Oreo-sama; A photo album... ^^ Look at it to find out!! *cough*nakedpicturesofanyoneyouwantandimeananyone*cough* I attached a note that has instructions on how to us this! INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Just think of anyone at all and *poof* a picture of them will appear in the album!! It's up to you if they are still wearing there clothes or not... *evil grin* Anjiru: To EVERYONE ELSE; COOKIES! That will only last for a week or so... Danie: Note that Sakura cannot touch the any of the cookies or else they will rot! Anjiru & Danie: *evil laugh* Anjiru: Uhm... Zakura and Lucifel, we have a favor to ask... Danie: Yeah...

Anjiru & Danie: CAN WE PLEASE GO TO THE FRAP POOL IF IT'S STILL THERE?!?! PLEASE! WE PROMISE NOT TO FREE THE PRISO- WE MEAN THEM! PLEASE!?!?!?! ~Anjiru-chan & Danie-chan~

Lucifel: I love these girlsSorry I had to edit this one, it was greatand yes, this longass review IS editied Itachi: its none of your business. DM: Um, you know Lucy and I are good friends right? I can do anything to this world I want Itachi: Oh pleaselike what? DM: Suddenly liquid acid starts dripping from the ceiling and Itachi: OK! OK!! Its stress lines from trying to hide my sexuality and then my lust towards my brother! Kimimaro: Gross. Itachi: -with Kabuto mouthing along with him- Its JUST incest!! Kimimaro: I found out how it works! Theres a riddle in common and then the answer in elfish and we have to match them! Kabuto: Umm, how? Kimimaro: I dont know Lee: -leans against the wall and one of the stones slides sideways.- ? Kimimaro: Oh!! Its like a puzzle game! We have to rearrange them like a rubix cube!! Kabuto: oh that wont take forever Kimimaro: Lets get working! Kurenai: Oooh!! Fun!! I can start a collection!! Jiraiya: Eep Kurenai: YAY!! CHOCOLATE!! Zakura: -hides hinata plushie- thank you girls, the frap pool is open for use so long as were in here.

Orochimaru: YAY!!!! Oh noI cant decide who to think of firsthmm Jiraiya: You work on that while I eat cookies Orochimaru: Wanna eat MY cookies? Jiraiya: yeahI meannomaybe Orochimaru: TeeheeI know who to think ofoohyou havent lost much in your age have you? Jiraiya: -furious blushingSakura: these girls are mean. Zakura: Live with it.
YAY! My letter got answered! That REALLY made my mood go UP 100%!! to deidara: i agree. teachers SUCK! *pokes a voodoo doll with pins* DIE! not you, the teacher. Krisse

Sakura: Glad to help you mood! Zakura: Yeah, whatever Deidara: -nods- theyre only good for so much and then yu have to kill them to prove youre better. Jiraiya: thats not true Naruto! Naruto: I know that ero-sennin
Damn i cant believe DM beat me at poker... anyways questions: Is Manda still there? If he is...MANDA I TOLD YOU TO EAT KIBA!! HE'S ANNOYING AND HE SMELLS LIKE DOGS!! Also Naruto I dare you too spend an entire night locked up in a small room with Hinata. Lucifel can you allow that? If yes...you'll be rewarded!-blushes- See you all later!

DM: Whats not to believe? I own the whole world. XD Gaara: Hes really starting to freak me out. Kimimaro: Why dont you just stand in the middle of the room pondering that instead of helping me out here?! Gaara: thank you, I will. Kimimaro: grr Manda: I dont take orders from little children. Thrashes tail- And Im leaving as soon as this kid is digested thoroughly.

Kiba: Gaaras not gonna be happy about this Naruto: I just plan to be far away when he comes back Zakura: Well, good luck with that. Naruto: -scowlZakura: We should drink more potions Neji: Oh, I already did. Zakura: hwa? Neji: I drank my orange potion. Zakura: why? Neji: Its anti-curse. My seals gone now removes headband- see? Zaku/Lucy: Whenhow Lucifel: Kishimoto-sama isnt gonna be happy about thisI promised I wouldnt make any major changes!! Waaa!! Zakura: Way to go Lucifel Lucifel: -runs crying to Jaden and KryahNaru/Saku: umm Neji: huh? Sakura: Never mind Lucifel: -pokes back in- rewarded? YeahI can do that -snaps fingers and suddenly Naruto and Hinata are locked in a random broom closetheyheyhey! its the crazykid i'm back! neways, congrats on haku and zabu for gettin married! neways hinata wot the hell is ur sister like, cos she's in my house? ye and hinata, hanabi says she'll kill u nd becum the heiress nd hiashi is having an affair wif the ghost of mikoto, sasuke's mom!

Haku: -blinks awake in the backseat and, blushing, pulls his/her kimono back on as Zabuza continues snoring away- Ah, well, um thank you -lays Zabuzas shirt over his waist- You couldve picked a better time though Zabuza: Come back to sleep Haku

Haku: After our first fight of course we had toyou knowjust be careful next time, k? Zabuza: hwa? Wakes up- Hakuare you talking to the fans right now? Haku: Yup. smileZabuza: .am I still naked? Haku: I covered you upsort of Zabuza: Fucking fans Hinata: Anomy sister is just well, shes a lot more strong-willed than me, and shes kind of selfishIm sorry she broke into your house, she does that sometimes. Just call my father and hell come pick her up gives numberNaruto: You know shes gonna let all the fangirls/boys call your house now? Hinata: oh no
NARUTO: since u couldn't come to the real world. If u kill Itachi I'll let u have a world full of Ramen OK? ZAKURA: Please kill SakurA! Sasuke let NARUTO RAOPE YYOU

Naruto: world oframen? YEAH!! ILL DO IT!! Hinata: Ummanohow? Naruto: By the time he comes back Ill have the perfect plan! And being trapped in here gives me lots of thinking time! Hinata: Oh Zakura: -through the door- You cant think Naruto! Naruto: Hey! I resemble that! Hinata: IumI think you mean resent. Naruto: that too!! ((This joke comes straight to you from the mouth of Kohakus good friend Tim from college)) Zakura: Anyway, while Naruto figures out the meaning of words, I have to apologize and remind people that if Sakura dies, I die. So sadly, no can do. Although I wish I could

Sakura: Hey! Zakura: What?! You know I hate you! Sakura: whatever Deidara: Why do these people keep talking to Sasuke? Hes at HTs place isnt he? Zakura: For real, Sasukes not gonna just burst in here and randomly answer a question! Sasuke: -sticks head in- Um, noNarutos grossoh, and my mom never had an affair with any nasty Hyuuga and the next person who suggests it will feel my vengeful Orochimaru: EMO!! Sasuke: --wrath. Anyway, Im on my way to A.H.S.s, Ive got some akatsuki there that need sexin up. ...See you guys later. Goes away againEveryone: hwa? Itachi: Why do I have the horrible feeling I just missed an opportunity for brotherloving?! Kabuto: I dont know, I dont care! Shut up and let the only people doing any work think!! -And everyone in the room is still totally confused-

Ask Sakura 23 Sakura:what the hell?! Orochimaru: Awwhe left Shikamaru: -twitchtwitchNaruto: Was that Sasuke out there?! Hey!! Why am I still in here?! Zakura: Last time didnt count, it was only for a little bit. Naruto: Awww man. Hinata: -blushSakura: but.butSasuke Zakura: Oh, fuck Sasuke. Lets get to some questions. Sakura: But SASUKE
Kakashi is a zombie...cool! Haku: So you're in your honeymoon with multiple destinations while everyone is stuck in the friken hellhole of a roomlucky Zakura: I downloaded all the lesbian porn the internet has to offer. 14 terrabytes of porn enjoy -hands 700 disks to ZakuraNeji: Now I want you to...lock yourself in a closet with Kakashi without plka music so he can eat your brain and yo'll become his first brainless solider in his brainless army Hurray for world domination I have a completely randon thing to do -throws Jaba the Hut into the room-

((At Asumas apartment)) Kakashi: A SEX zombie!! Asuma: Mfffguwah Kakashi: Mmmm ((back in the room)) Haku: yup, I most certainly am. reclines on beach chair, wearing bikiniHakus a sexy girlZabuza: -slight nosebleed-

Zakura: Ooooh!!! YAY!!! runs to closet- oh damnHina and Naruto I forgot-closes door againNaruto: Wait!! Let me out! lunges at doorHinata: -sneakily tripsNaruto: -falls on faceHinata: -silent yayNeji: Lock my selfwith Kakashi? eh, been there done that. Kiba: O.o seriously? Neji: -smirk- Oooh yeah Kiba: ewww Jaba the Hut: Guwaaaah-lots of alien jabber and he slides over to MandaOrochimaru: Whatd he say? Zakura: Heahjust proposed to Manda Manda: O.< Jaba: :3 Manda: Jaba: -attempts to hug MandaManda: GET AWAY!!!!! slithers away as fast as he canbut since he fills up half the room as it is, its very hard to get anywhereJaba: -chases with hearts in eyesOrochimaru: poor baby Kiba: I amso disturbed Naruto: Whats going on out there?! Neji: You dont want to know!!

A.H.S: -Yawns lightly, stretching out on her couch, her beloved Anaconda curled tightly around his waist- Wait...What?! -Screams- KISAME! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! -Hers a loud groan and twitches- Zetsu: -Walks in and blinks- What are you doing back Sasuke? A.H.S: -Twitches even more, taking out a random sledgehammer.- I'm not Sasuke! Kisame turned me into a man! -Sighes as said twin pops in from Zetsu's room- Sasuke: OMG! ANOTHER ME! -Squees all girly like, pouncing onto her/him- A.H.S: -Runs away- No! Anyhow...Happy Birthday Zaku-Sama and Saku-chan! -Tosses a scroll to Sakura- There's your gift! The jutsu I promised!! But beware! Lose control and it turns back on you!! Zakura! -Tosses a keg of the finest sake around- There!! Anyway,...-Cuts into a closet and hides- Manda-kun,...When's the last time Oro-chan gave you your required sacrifice? -Screams as the door opens and Sasuke gets pushed in- Kisame: -Cackles locking the door- Till next time folks!

Zabuza: Way to go Kisame. high fives Kisame- WaitWhere the fuck did you come from?! Kisame: Well, for one I was running away from A.H.S., and I meanyoure by the ocean and I was communing with some sharks so Zabuza: Wait, wait, waitdefine communing. Kisame: Oh you know talkinghanging out Haku: Fornicating? Kisame: Sure. Zabuza: -snerkKisame: ? And heywerent you with a boy? Zabuza: I was Kisame: He got turned into a girl? Zabuza: No he gothow did you guess?! Kisame: -shrugs- Ive learned to expect the strangest possibility. Saku/Zaku: -hide giftsManda: -screechs to a halt and turns sharply to Orochimaru- Yeahwhen was the last time, Oro-chan? Orochimaru: Eep!! quickly kills Jaba ands shoves him at Manda- HERE!! HERE!! I GIVE IT TO YOU!! Manda: I cant EAT that!! Orochimaru: hmoh! lightbulb- I left Kankuro in here for you! That was my sacrifice!

Manda: thats bull. Orochimaru: No, it was human. Manda: being a woman makes you dumber I guess Kurenai: I resent that! Manda: You also look pretty tasty. Kurenai: Eep. Zakura: EewwwJabas starting to smell throws him out a window((Jaba falls for several stories and then lands on top of Tenten, crushing her))
Hey guys me again! for bad ass fox Kyu, I can give you a collar that will make you your original size again, but you have to screw Naru-Chan, no strings attached. Naru-Chan: are you sure your not a girl? because your really effeminate like one but not Haku style. I'm sending in Fraps, cookies and the CD 'mr sandman' for Gaara. Oh and (blows Lucifel a kiss) thanks for the FF your the best! June x

Kyuubi: umno Naruto: EWW!! EWW!! EWW!! Kyuubi: If someone wants me to EAT him though Zakura: No one is allowed to die, Kishimoto will kill me and Lucifel then Shikamaru: Sowhat about Kankuro. Zaku/Lucy: GAAHHH!!!!! Zakura: -starts trying to use Heimlich maneuver on Manda to make him throw Kankuro upManda: Umwtf? Orochimaru: Leave Manda-chan alone!! Zakura: Well get in trouble! Why are you all getting us in trouble lately? God. Naruto: Im a guy!! I can prove it!!

Jiraiya: Yeah, why dont prove it on Hinata?! Naru/Hina: -blushJiraiya: they went silentare they really trying it out?! Orochimaru: Ewww, I hope not. Zakura: he better fucking not... Gaara: Holy shit, this is a whole fucking gift basket!! Kimimaro: Im glad youre being rewarded for our work Kabuto: I got it!! Itachi: So we can move out?! Kabuto: WhatnoI just figured out this one riddle Itachi: -_- Im going to sleep Lucifel: YAY!! KISSES!!
Oh yes. Here's a present for Zakura, it's a dildo. My (late)present for Haku is a box of tampons. May I please have a hug? And for Itachi, it's the deed to the local Starbucks. Oh and Shikamaru I dare you to smile! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Zakura: Ok, why would I want a dildo? Im a lesbian to get AWAY from male parts!! Sakura: Eww. Haku: Tampons? what are those for? Zabuza: O.= soyou dont know about femaleproblems? Haku: Huh? You mean buying bras and whatnot? Kisame: Ooohhave fun Zabuza. Zabuza: Umm Haku: Hold, lemme give a hug first Itachi: -gasp- HOLY JESUS RAINING CATS!! Gaara: what?

Itachi: Im sohappyI havent been this happy since I went on my last massmurder spree!! Gaara: -GASP- ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! Itachi: TOTALLY!! Gaara: OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! Itachi: YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! Shikamaru: -smirkZakura: doesnt count, you need to actually make a happy smile. Shikamaru: -hrk- -twitchZakura: Come on. Neji: -ahem- Choji!! Shikamaru: -smile- -blushZakura: Oh yeah, youve got something for the cubby kid. Shikamaru: not quite
(Drinking a can of Kyuubi chakra) sorry I didn't calculate the whole chakra-expenditure thingy, Kyuubi. If it's that inefficient, there's no point in me giving you the rest of the sixpack, is there? That reminds me, I have a question for everybody today, but only one. What's your favorite beverage, non-alcoholic or otherwise? (Burps, and a cloud of red vapor comes from his mouth) I think this may be a hallucinogen...

Kyuubi: Theres a point!! THERES A POINT!!! Zakura: Um, nawwww. Kyuubi: I HATE YOU!! Zakura: Anyway, my favorite drink is vodkastraight. Sakura: Ive only had a sip of that!! Zakura: And I LOVED it. Sakura: Well, I like Fresca.

Zakura: Pussy. Neji: I like Smirnoff. Zakura: Also pussy. Neji: grr Jiraiya: SAKE!! Kurenai: Why arent I surprised? Anyway, My favorite is apple martinis. Orochimaru: Cranberry Juice!! Everyone: -crickets chirpOrochimaru: Cranberry juice is yummy-blushManda: why do I let you summon me? Naruto: RAMEN LIQUID!! Sakura: Ewww Hinata: I likeummI really like strawberry smoothies Zakura: SO CUUUUTE!!! Kyuubi: Whiskey. Zakura: I should drink with you sometime. Kyuubi: Sure. Zakura: SAWEET! Shikamaru: I enjoy sake Neji: Arent you dignified. Shikamaru: Arent you troublesome Kiba: I like energy drinks!!

Shino: And I like Kiba on energy drinks Kiba: -smileShino: Im a fan of good old-fashioned water. Zakura: Pussy. Shikamaru: No, just utilitarian. Zakura: A utilitarian pussy.
HT: i wanna say something to A.H.S kay! can we just trade him back and forth? amber: I WANT THE FREAKIN TAIL LIL FOX BASTARD! HT: hey kyuubi!! you owe me a hug! remember? avatarjk137 said you had to hug everyone who wants to hug you for that chakra!! HUG ME!! amber: AND THEN GIMME A TAIL!! OR NO COCO FOR ANYONE ELSE!! HT: yay! less work! sasuke: i will ask again. WHEN DID OROCHIMARU BECOME A FEMALE!? HT: i luvs you sasuke!! amber: shes slowly getting bored of you though HT: dont feel left out! ill get you coco! amber: zakura, how is it being part of an ugly whiney bubblegum bitch? sasuke: what does HT look up about me? amber: stuff. sasuke: real specific. amber: i know ^^ HT: coco for cockatoo-chan and amber-san!! oh! lucifel too! to pay you back for the long paragraph ^^ damn. i do talk a lot! i hope this doesnt cause problems. amber: kyuubi, let her hug you. or else shell have another of those "looking up chibi kyuubi pics and then putting them everywhere" day. its annoying. sasuke: this coco doesnt suck that bad really. amber: quite true. HT: indeed. amber: NO ONE SAID YOU COULD HAVE COCO! HT: WAAH! IM SORRY! amber: oh, zabuza, why do you like that sword? whats so great about it? im goin sword shoppin later today and need advice on finding the best sword. HT: ohno. no more swords please... amber: *evil laugh*

Zakura: You do owe the girls quite a bit Kyuubi: Nooo Zakura: Kyuubi-chaaaan Kyuubi: FINE!! Ugh-lets them hug- BUT NO TAIL!! Zakura: Fair enough. Kyuubi: -phew-

Lucifel: YAY! COCO!! Zakura: To Sasuke: We dont answer questions from other characters dumbass!! Orochimaru: A while agoits fun. smileZabuza: And thats the reproductive process Haku: ooohdang Zabuza: Soyeah Kisame: -snickerZabuza: Oh, anywayits awesome because its big and heavy and makes lots of hurt on the bastards!! Kisame: Same for mine. XD Haku: I dont wanna have a period
YOSH! Lucifiel-chan is my FF girlfriend...I like life even more now. *Snuggles up to Lucifielchan* Shame the characters would hear us if we did anything...Or would they? *Sits, looking thoughtful, shurgs, and continues his snuggleing* Anthow, questions and gifts... Zakura: *Becomes a figure more terrifying then she and Kyuubi can a imagine* You made Lucifiel-chan cry...sure she messed up a little bit, but Kishimoto-sama will fix it, and you -didn't- have to rub it in...I was -going- to give you Hinata pictures where she's at the beach in a bikini...-But- you made Lucifiel-chan cry, so instead...I'm taking back my Albums until you learn to respect people's...Or just Lucifiel-chan's... feelings. *Takes away all the sexy albums of Kurenai he gave her, then turns back to normal and comforts a crying Lucifiel* Kyuubi: Well, I feel -kinda- bad for you...so...I made -this-! *Takes out a potion* This will make you as big as a small-ish horse, which is still big! But...in return you have to do SexyJutsu on Zakura and Jiraiya, deal? Naruto: Your curse-seal is gone...so does that mean Kyuubi is kinda..you know...free as long as you're in there and until Kishimoto-sama regains control over you?

Zakura: Whanomy albums Lucifel: Aww, Jaden, sok. Let her have them. Were cool. Zakura: See?! Kurenai: See what? Sakura: Shes talking to the voice again. Kurenai: Fuckin weirdo.

Kyuubi: Saweeno!! NO! Im not doing that! DAMMIT! Why do people keep trying to make all these stupid deals?! Zakura: They just wanna see you all big and scary again, sall. Kyuubi: -grrrrNaruto: guh -checks stomach- huh, nope, still there. Sakura: But you drank the anti-curse potion!! Naruto: But that fixed the not-talking curse. Sakura: Which was already over! Naruto: dont question me.
Gaara:OMG (glomps) i love you! But there is one thing i love more than you and that is GaaLee! (Holds up sign that says "GaaLee 4 ever!") keep holding on Gaara you'll get him sooner or later!...I hope sooner Orochimaru:Now that your a woman will you stay one are will you go back to being a man? Hinata: i dare you to belly dance for Zakura 'cause id so awsome! XD Everybody else:Your all boring! Have a sexy party!8D...Please? (puppy-dog eyes) Mini Death

Gaara: Ehehe, -blushLee: -is snoozing in a cornerKimimaro: Aww, thats cute. A fan of your pointless endeavors. Gaara: I thought you were supportive!! Kimimaro: Well, right now this fucking wall is stressing me OUT!! Slams hand against the wallDM: And when you slam your hand into the wall you inadvertently push the last stone into place and the wall opposite the one you came in through slide open revealing a long, well-lit corridor. Kimimaro: Sweet-ass Kabuto: Nicely done, Kimi. Puts arm around shoulderKimimaro: -swoonOrochimaru: OhI dunnomaybe. Im having pretty much fun with my boobies

Jiraiya: I have fun with your boobies Hinata: Wha? ButI Zakura: -jerks closet door open- you heard him/her! Do as the fans say! Hinata: But Zakura: -changes Hinata into a belly dancing costume- Lets go girl! Hinata: -blush- -belly dancesEveryone: -droolsHinata: -blushblushblushNeji: Oh damn Kiba: -droolNaruto: -gawkJiraiya: -nosebleedShino: -raises eyebrow- Whered you learn this Hinata? Hinata: M-my sister and I took a few classes just for fun Kiba: Wow Shino: -smackOrochimaru: OOH!! SEXY PARTY!! Zaku/Jira/Neji/Kiba/Dei: WHOOOO!!!! -those guys throw their own little sexy party while Saku/Naru/Hina/Shin/Kure/Shika sit feeling kind of freaked outItachi: -cries a littleKabuto: Whats wrong with you? Itachi: I just know that somewhereIm missing a sexy party Lee: Its probably wherever Gai-sensei is.

Everyone: eww. ((But actually, Gai was having a sexy party, with all the Jonin in twon involve, ya-yeah.))
Danie: Now for a question... or questions... XD Anjiru: Hey Lee, ever heard of Elmo?? He looks just like you!! Why does he look just like you anyway?? Danie: Elmo is cute but creepy!! Anjiru: I wanna give all of you an Elmo doll! -gives everyone an Elmo dollDanie: -thinkingElmo doll: I eat babies and molest people when they are asleep! Anjiru: ^^ Oh... I didn't give Zakura the Elmo doll... I don't want you to die... You're the coolest character ever! XD Instead, I'll give you what we gave Oreo-sama before, a photo album!! Danie: I know!! XD Anjiru: Same as before but the difference is that only lesbians like you can see what's inside. Meaning that girls and men can't see what you see! XD Danie: Anyway, I wanna ask my question!! Anjiru: Okay... okay... XD Danie: I just remembered that some of you guys still have those potions from a couple of chapters back. Why don't you drink them? I know I wasn't the one who gave them to you but I just wanna find out what they do!! XD Anjiru: Oh yeah!! XD Please?? Danie & Anjiru: Now if you'll excuse us, we will go to the frap pool!! XD -poofs into roomDanie & Anjiru: HELLO GUYS! XD BYE!! -runs into frap pool-

Lee: Ive never heard of Elmobut he must be a very handsome fellow if he looks like me! Gaara: no Lee, hes not. Lee: Then he must not look anything like me! Gaara: He definitely doesnt. DM: From down the hall you hear an eerie yet somehow child-friendly voice: Creepy Voice: Im gonna find youuuWell have FUN. Kabuto: Shitshitshit, lets get going guys! Zakura: It was a good idea to put Elmo in there instead of here. Smile- OOOH!! PHOTO ALBUM!! Hinata: Can I stop dancing now? -_-, Zakura: OhI guessHey, yeah, lets get another potionwell, lets see -sips yellow potion-After a few second her hair grows slightly shorter and the scrapes and bruises she got over the last couple days go awayZakura: Cool, my guess is this turns your body back to its original appearance forwell, a whole bottle would probably be a year

Shikamaru: -grabs his bottle and gulps it downZakura: Ummokwhy? Shikamaru: ohno reason Shino: He had a tattoo. I saw it for a second when I went to the bathroom. Shikamaru: -blushKiba: Oh? What of? Shino: Some weird symbolkind of familiar Shikamaru: -putting duct tape over his mouth- Thats quite enough out of you. Orochimaru: Hey! I can get my hair back with that! Bug-kid, can I have your yellow potion?! Shino: Sure, I wont be using it Orochimaru: Yay!! Jiraiya: WAIT!! NO!!! Orochimaru: -drinks and gets turned back into a male with long hair- -GASP- Oh noes!! My boobs are gone!! Jiraiya: Noo Orochimaru: Oh well, I was planning on going back eventually I suppose Kurenai: Im certainly glad you did Jiraiya: Butbut-criesKyuubi you are so cute! How come there are different forms of kyuubi like you, yoko, ninetails, and eightand-a-half tails? The people in the dungeon: So... who's the leader here? Orochimaru-sam and Jiraiya: Are you two in love now!?!

Kyuubi: Psh, theyre all posers. Im the one and only. Zakura: Bullshit!! Yokos not a poser! Kyuubi: Hes only got ONE tail, hes no where near as hard-core as me!!

Zakura: Whatever. When you get up with death seeds pwning your ass well see about that. Sakura: Whatre you defending him for? Zakura: Dunno, I like arguing with Kyu. Lee: OOOH!! OOH!! MEMEMEMEMME!!! Kabuto: Hey! Im the one who used to be a DM and is the smartest here! DM: Its true. Hes got an 18 intel. Kimis close though Lee: But I am the bulk and strength! I am the courage and charisma! I am the glue that binds us together as a team! Kabuto: Fuck that shit. Kimimaro: Just let his have his way. Gaara: -under his breath- he can have his way with me Orochimaru: I always was Jiraiya: Im nowait, what? Orochimaru: -blushes and looks away1. Neji- Since when are you gay? 2. Sakura- I dare you to kiss the person in the room you hate the most. On the lips! Mwahahahahahahaha! -Cough3.Lee- Why won't you go out with me? -cries-LeesLover7

Neji: Im NOT gay. I am technically bi. Im sure Ill marry a woman and have a wonderful wife and family somedayas it is I enjoy being screwed multiple time s a week by different men so I can be on the bottom. K? Kiba: Were fine with it Neji. We accept you as the slut you arealmost as willing as you accept the hundreds of male parts you get thrust at you every night. Neji: -flips the fingerSakura: But that would beZakura Zakura: O.o Im SO not ok with this Lucifel: -from Jadens lap- Too bad-

Zakura/Sakura Kiss!! Ye-yeah!! Sakura: -gagsZakura: -retchesSakura: -heavesZakura: -throws up a littleJiraiya: You guys are ruining the affect of sexy young lesbian love!! Saku/Zaku: SHUT UP PERVERT!! Lee: OhIm very sorryits just that I have my heart set on Sakura. Im sorry. Gaara: -whimperlol, congrats Haku-san & Zabuza-san ^^ ok, erm...Sakura-san...u do know Kabuto's like 5 yrs older right? cuz if u still want to *coughfuck/marrycough* him...^^ Zakura-sama: dare u to kiss (w/tongue) Naruto-kun ( sry man ^^;)

Haku: Thanks very much! Oh no! Was that a cramp?! Zabuza: Trust meyoull know when you get one. Kisame: -snickerZabuza: And why arent you gone yet?! Kisame: Because this is hilarious. Zabuza: -glaresSakura: One, Kabutos gross, I dont want him in any way shape or form. Two, if I did I wouldnt care about age. Older men are hot. Zakura: Ha! You DO have your fetishes! Sakura: WhatEVER! Youre a jerk! Zakura: Youre a bitch! Zakura: -give the fingerSakura: -sticks out tongue-

Zakura: Oh, gasp, I am foiled by the grad-school insult tactic. Sakura: FUCK YOU!! Zakura: -rolls eyes- After Sakura anythings better Naruto: WHAHMPF!!! Zakura: Damn I was wrong Naruto: NO! My first Sakura kiss and its from HER!! criesManda: UghI feel gross. Throws up Kankuro-The half-digested Kankuro gets hurled across the room and slams into the wall and then collapses to then floor unconsciousSakura: Man he keeps getting abused Kiba: Makes me feel better. Kurenai: Is someone gonna help him? Zakura: Please, go ahead. Kurenai: Ahwellummyou said no one can die right? Zakura: Yeah, I did, Kurenai: Wellhe doesnt look that badIll just keep an eye on him Zakura: Heh, awesomeness.

Ask Sakura 24
A.H.S: -Breaks down the closet door, whistling a merry tune as Sasuke falls out, all swirly eyed, bounded and gagged. Tobi: -Hands a scroll- H.T sent this! A.H.S: Hmm..-Reads- Very well...Though...He's not going to be able to talk for a week, let alone walk...I took advantage of my male time. Anyhow...Tobi has an announcement to make...Tobi: -Giggles- Tobi will follow Lucy-sama's go and start his own thingy! A.H.S: -Twitches- Fuck me...Umm...Any of you guys feel like helping Tobi and I out with this when you get out of there? Deidara and Itachi...Its mandatory since your in this organization. But to my questions...Neji, Who was your first on both the male and female spectrum. Deidara, how do I get the clay stains out of carpets? -Tosses him a bag filled with purple and blue clay- Kabuto, you still wearing those contacts?

Deidara: UmmI quityeah. Neji: Can you really just quit Akatsuki like that? Deidara: I just did. Replaces coat with leather pants and fish-net shirt.- yeah. Zakura: Where did you get those? No fan has supplied those! Lucifel: For sexy Deidara, ILL supply it. :D Itachi: You cant make me do that! wait soa girl who was turned into a boy who looked like Sasuke was screwing Sasuke? NICE!! Creepy Voice: Dont run away! I can smell you! I can find you! I wanna plaaaay! Kabuto: Lets run down the rest of this hall, ne? Kimi/Lee: -already runningNeji: Oh wowI dont even know if I can remember. Kiba: Gosh, what a surprise. Kurenai: Kiba, place nice. Neji: Yeah, pupshut the fuck up. Kurenai: Same for you, kiddo. Neji: How come youre being all Adult guardian NOW?! Kurenai: Its getting out of control! Hinata and Naruto in the closet, forced belly-dancing,

the constant random fighting, its a little out of control dont you think? Zakura: Come on! You know you enjoyed the belly-dancing! Kurenai: I did not! blushJiraiya: I did!! Kurenai: -smacks him with skilletZakura: Go ahead and answer the questions Neji. Neji: Well, are we talking with consent? Everyone: o.o Sakura: What? Neji: Oh, uh, never mind. My first man was Sasuke, and Ive never been with a girl. Zakura: So who raped you? Sakura: Dear god, ever heard of tact?! Zakura: I think we met once; we didnt get along to much Neji: I dont know what youre talking about anywaynow excuse my while I take a completely inconspicuous moment alone in the frap room Zakura: Danie and Anjiru will kill you for making them leave
First to Haku+Zabuza: Congrats on the wedding, send me a postcard from Tahiti when you get there. Oh and heres a bottle of Midol for Haku when your "time comes". Believe me it works, and Zabuza wont be a corpse in the car trunk when your finished. (at least for that month) Naruto: Have you ever considered destroying Konoha? Itachi: Whats the worst thing youve made someone see with the Tsukuyomi? ...and thats it for today...yep *whistles suspiciously before mysteriously shutting off the lights and kidnapping Kyuubi, while cackling about Saw and Hostel sequels featuring demonic foxes*
Haku: -whines- thanksoh! And I sent ALL the fans postcards from all our destinations! Were currently at our last stop: Washington USA!

Kisame: Its cold and wet up hereI liiiike. Zabuza: WHY are you still here? Kisame: You have a comfy backseat and I fell asleep in it.

Zabuza: But I looked back there. Kisame: I conveniently fell asleep under a blanket and duffle bags. Zabuza: You fucking stow-away. Get off my honeymoon! -Drop-kicks Kisame into another dimension!!Kisame: Oh, hey Itachi. Itachi: GAH! What are you doing here?! Kisame: -taps finger on chin- -bites lip- -tilts head- hmmI dont know. DM: HEY! The PCs cant create their own NPCs!! Kisame: who the fuck? Kabuto: Doesnt matter. Youre with us now. Itachi: Does he have to be? Kisame: -raises eyebrow- Something you wanna say Itachi? Itachi: Uhnooo Kisame: -rolls eyesNaruto: Gwa? NO! Of course not! You sicko! Zakura: -raising hand- I have! Sakura: Gah! Orochimaru: Huh, me too. Jiraiya: Everyone knows that Oro Orochimaru: Just making sure. Itachi: -walking in back of party while Kisas in front, making awkward glances at Kisames directionKabuto: You gonna answer the question?

Itachi: Huh? What? Oh-takes fluttering pieces of paper- Oh, well, it depends on the person, but I ALWAYS show them what I think would be worst for them. Kisame: You fucking Sadist. Itachi: Like you can talk Kisame: What? Still whining about the bruises I gave ya? Kabu/Kimi/Gaa: O.O Itachi: -twitchblush- N-no Kisame: -snickerKabuto: -to Kimi- Geez, with Gaara lusting after caterpillar-brows and this sexual tension between Itachi and Kisame were the only ones not dealing with an awkward romance right now, Kimi. Annoying isnt it? Kimimaro: -blushing- Y-yeah Zakura: you still here Kyuubi? Kyuubi: -stashes nasty, chopped-up corpse of fangirl10174 in the closet- YepI certainly am. mutters- swhat you get for liking horror movies, girly.
Yo Kisame welcome to the party! Deidara, the mouths in your hands, do you use them for nothin apart from molding clay, such as self pleasure? Gaara Im glad you like the gift basket and just for you, lee i dare you to glomp Gaara with a kiss on the cheek. For Gaara, Deidara, Itachi and Naru-Chan a gift basket filled with your favorite things! Blows kisses to Lucifel, and don't worry Jaden, theyre friendly kisses! June x

Kisame: -waves- Yo. Creepy Deidara: Self-pleasureItachi-pleasureSasori-pleasureteehee; I put them to good useyeah Orochimaru: Ooooohfunnn. Deidara: Damn straightwanna see? Orochimaru: Sure!

Jiraiya: -plugs nose from bleeding as Dei and Oro start getting it onGaara: -sipping frappuccino- Of course...umm Lee: I will as soon as I get out of this gift basket! Kabuto: And why am I in Kimis? Kimimaro: -BluuuushKabuto: -chooses to ignore in order to avoid awkward momentsLee: -finally gets out of ribbon- Ok! Glomps Gaara and kisses cheekGaara: -faints with spiral-ly eyesLee: -gasp- I guess I dont know my own strengthoh well -picks Gaara up princess style and starts carrying himKisame: So, I could be wrong, but maybe we should inspect this door you all just passed up. Kabuto: Hey, Im the leader here. Lee: Says who?! Itachi: Let it go kid Lee: I dont want to drop Gaara! Itachi: -_Kisame: No, no, Im sure youre right. What do I know? Kabuto: you sound awfully sarcastic you blue jackass Kisame: What? No. Of course a door with a big sign saying DO NOT ENTER THIS SACRED PLACE is not going to be important Kabuto: LET ME AT THE DOOR!!
Zakura: Fine, since Lucifel-chan said it's alright...*Gives her back her album* And sine I'm getting snuggled...*Gives her albums of all females in Konoha, except Sakura and Hinata, naked* But you can't 'enjoy yourself' to these until after this chapter...that's a dare. Kyuubi: *Watching him use a Chibi-pout* That's...not fair...I can't resist obeying a

Chibi-pout usually..*Sigh* Fine...I'll give you the potion...but in return, you have to give your best insane-evil laugh when you become big again. *Gives him a potion that will make him 6-foot tall* LEE! MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND! Upon you I bestow this unmarked Gai-sensei package, complete with everything he'll need for a D&D Quest... P.S. *Kisses Luciefiel-chan again* Have fun everybody!

Zakura: YES!! reads condition- No Sakura: Do you do it that much? Zakura: Not everyone has as little sexual stimulation as you kiddo. Sakura: -blushKyuubi: Hah! It may have scarred my dignity to use the chibi pout but hot damn if it wasnt worth it!! DrinksMUWAHHAHAAHAHABUWAHAAHHAHAEHEHEHEHEHwtf? -Is indeed 6-ft tall, but hes a human male with fiery red hair, fox ears and tails (only five to represent half-power) and clawsand hes NAKED!!Kyuubi: Wellat least Im male Orochimaru: AND SEXY!!! PouncesKyuubi: -dodgesOrochimaru: -lands head-first in Jiras lap- Wellgood enough. Zakura: Eww, put some pants on. Kure/Saku/Neji/Dei/Kiba: -gawkHinata: -blushLee: -gasp!- Its Gai-Sensei! Gai: ACK! Why did you take me from my sexy party?! Runs away down the hall in search of sexy-partyLee: Gai-sensei!! Dont leave!! Teary eyesItachi: Whats terrifying is that he was actually having a sexy party Kabuto: Word. HAH! The door is opened!

-They go in1. Zakura- What's it like to be the alter ego of the most annoying bitch on the planet? 2. Orochimaru- Why are you so stupid? Oh by the way, BURN IN HELL! 3. Naruto- I dare YOU to kiss the person you hate the most in this room on the lips! -Grins wickedly4.Lee- Heehee...-glomps Lee- You're going to go out with me. You know why? I paid my older cousin to kidnap Gai sensei and he is locked in my dad's closet. Trust me that door is BULLETPROOF! I will let him out if you go on a date with me. Or else you will never see him again! (And it has to be a nice date. No showing up just to knock me out.)

Sakura: Ok, we can skip the first two generic fan comments Orochimaru: No YOU burn!! Sakura: And the childish retortsNaruto? Naruto: I dont hate anyonereally! I dont wanna kiss Orochimaru! Zakura: You should be so lucky! Admit it, you hate Kyuubi the most. Naru/Kyuu: -horrorZakura: you know its true. Lets get some sexy fox loving going on. Sakura: Just because hes in human form doesnt make this right! Kyuubi: Well, being a demon I technically am of the same intelligence as humans so really its just about body-shape and Im human right now so its not really bestiality Zakura: So, you WANT to get kissed by Naruto? Kyuubi: Gah! No! Zakura: Too bad! Naruto, lets go! Naruto: -weepsKyuubi: Godamnit, if you wont do it Ill just get this over with. Grabs Narutos collar and pulls him into a forceful kissNaruto: -pushing away- OWW! That hurt!

Kyuubi: Sorry, I forgot how frail humans are. Naruto: -wipes mouth- HEY! Im fucking bleeding! Kyuubi: Wellthats how I do things. Kure/Kiba/Oro/Dei: -turned on-Down the hall they hear Gai screamLee: AAAAH!! Hes been captured! Kabuto: Too bad, in we go! -Kabuto pushes Lee into the room and looking around they find it to be a 12x12 room, with tall walls that soar endlessly above their heads. In the center of the room is four-foot tall square-based pedestal with an inscription on top of it, and dozens of gems and knobs on its surface. The whole room if full of flowing iridescent blue energyKisame: Fancy. Itachi: So whos gonna go read that inscription? Kimimaro: Kisame. Hs probably got the most hit points of all of us. Kisame: huh? I cant read that. Kimimaro: Its just common. Kabuto: Which looks suspiciously like English Kimimaro: Oh, that explains it, fine Ill do it. -Gaara, meanwhile, wakes up and finds himself pressed against Lees strong chest, in his arms and decides theres really no reason for him to be awake right nowLee: Oh, wait!! Kimimaro: WHAT?! Lee: I have to go on a date to get Gai back.., Gaara: -twitchKimimaro: LATER!!

Lee: -whimpering- fine

I know that 8-and-a-half-tails guy. We're friends. Or maybe not. (Fur begins to grow, ears begin to point) Huh. Too much demonic chakra, I guess. Now I'll have to shave again... Shikamaru: isn't shaving troublesome? That's why I only shave every few weeks... Kyuubi: tough break, man. I like this chakra, it's thirst-quenching, I don't mind the side effects, and I really like the creamy melon aftertaste.

Shikamaru: Yeah, thats why I never do. Kiba: Butyou dont have a beard! Shikamaru: Im FOURTEEN!! Im sure itll start growing eventually Kiba: -snrrrrrrrk- bwahahahahahahahahah, Shika aint got no facial hair!! Shino: -snickerOrochimaru: Hey, I never grew any either Kiba: And? Orochimaru: Its actually very convenient. Shikamaru: Thats what I was thinking Kyuubi: Get away from my creamy melon chakra!! Zakura: Creamy melon? That sounds like a realllly bad porn show Sakura: Oh geez
HT: WAH! NOW AMBER HAS HER BIG SWORD AND SHE KEPT SWINGING IT AT ME! I HATE YOU ZABUZA! HT: yay! OMG!! I GOT TO HUG KYUUBI! IM SO HAPPY! amber: i didnt get a tail. GIMME THE GOD DAMN FRICKEN TAIL DUMBASS BEFORE I FIND YOU AND STRIKE YOU WITH FIRE BITCH! HT: Orochimaru has any one that works for you like Kabuto or Sasuke ever dissed you? amber: omg. Wheres bird boy? HT: i dunno. amber: oh well. HT: oh! i need to give everyone balloons! Pick your fav color!! Oh, good luck Haku! *giggles* youll need it. Amber: whatever. Lets play run and get hurt. HT: AH! *runs away* amber: *chases with giant sword*

Zabuza: Too bad for you. Go get your own sword. Haku: -from bathroom- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! IHATEEVERYTHINGANDEVERYONEANDIGOTBLOODALLOVERMYCUTEUND ERWEARANDSHORTSANDTHEREISNOREASONFORTHISMUCHPAINITSNOTF AIR!!!!!!!!! Zabuza: Oh crap its started Zakura: -snicker- swung her big sword Sakura: youre such a pervert! Zakura: I know. Kyuubi: NO! Hugs own tailsZakura: When are you gonna put some fucking clothes on?! Kyuubi: I dont like clothingits restricting. Kurenai: I have no problem with that. Jiraiya: So why dont you get naked?! Kurenai: I only appreciate it with himand Gai. Kiba: IDONTWANNAKNOW!! Orochimaru: Yeah, Sasuke tries being all tough sometimes. We get into while were having sex, its hilarious. Kabuto and Kimi were always darlings though. Zakura: Just send an assortment. Itll be fun. evil smirkSakura: How are you going to make something perverted and evil out of balloons?! Zakura: Ill find a way
Ok now this -throws Jangofet into roomSakura: Since you hated kissing Zakura...I dare you to make out with her for 7 minutes I uh "accidentally" cloned Sasuke. He uhh won't leave me alone Sasuke: Your game chair broke Saskuretsu: How'd you break it!? Sasuke: I lit it on fire Saskuretsu: You die now -pulls out shotgun-

Sasuke: -runsSaskuretsu: Run damn you Yeah...Sasuke #2 is hiding in m closet Sakura I cloned you a Sasuke but I programmed him to like you...your welcome...unfortunately he is sex-crazed and not gay although I don't know if thats bad or good for .

Kurenai: Eep Jango: wtf? Kiba: whoa-starts inspecting armorJango: Hey kid, hands off! Shoots Kiba with LaserKiba: -yelps and collapsesShino: -catchesKurenai: -running out- HEY!! You fucking bastard thats my student! Jango: Kurenai? Kurenai: What of it? You better not have seriously injured Kiba! Jango: Waitwhatwhat are you doing here? Jiraiya: How the hell do you two know each other?! Kurenai: Just one of those mistakes Jango: Hey, it was no mistake on my part! Kurenai: Of course not! Running away and leaving a poor young girl broken hearted and confused was just your style wasnt it?! Jango: That couldnt be helped! I tried to apologize! Kurenai: Like I ever wanted to see your face again! Orochimaru: Id like to see his face nowthat helmet is gay. Jango: -whimper- it is nooot! Kurenai: Yes it is. Jango: bitch.

Kurenai: Fag. ((Outside Tenten finally pushes the dead Jaba off of her, shes just barely alive. Above her Jango fett is suddenly kicked out through a window and comes falling downdown downand barely misses!! Sighing in relief Tenten gets to her feetand then Jangos helmet falls down and smashes her on the head so she falls down unconscious again)) Sakura: Aaaaanyway Kurenai: -makes sure Kiba is okZakura: No. Hell no. Naruto: hehehe, get in the closet you two!! Shoves them in!Jiraiya: Im watching through this crackjust to make sure you do it of course. Orochimaru: -sigh-Seven minutes laterSaku/Zaku: -Break out gasping and gagging.Sakura: Well thats one reliefbut I want the original Sasuke! Sasuke Clone: I love you Sakura! Even though I am an emo, psycho incapable of loveI can change just for you. :D Sakura: Hes creepy Zakura: Eww. Orochimaru: -kills the clone- here you go Manda-sama! Manda: Good enough. Eats cloneZakura: There goes that
Gaara: OMG! Gaara you won't believe what i read!*all said really fast* I was reading this fanfiction call Don't believe it and you were going after lee but you kept hurting him but the you went to this guy and he gave you a potion that made you into a smexy read head and then you and lee had hot steamy sex!...*grabs shoulders* what ever you do PLEASE don't turn yourself into a woman! It just ruins the whole point of GaaLee! I mean...I had nightmares for weeks! *twitches*...anyway...i know i had something to ask...^-^; oh yeah! Is there anyone other than lee you would want toyou know *wiggles eyebrows suggestively* Zakura: I'm glad you liked my dare for Hinata! Heres my question. How were you

created, like how did you come about? (did sakura create you or something?) Jiraiya: HI!! Me and my friend talking when we randomly started to RP and in the end we had a threesome with you! ^^ so how long to you plan on being a writer? Mini Death

Gaara: Idontplan to? Lee: Oh! Youre awake?! Gaara: -quickly- no. Lee: I am not so foolish Gaara! I know you couldnt talk so clearly in your sleep! Gaara: Yes I can. Lee: Ohwell, anyways I dont understand why you turning into a girl would make me have sex with you Gaara: -crushed- Anywaysure, there are other people Id screw. Like Naruto. Itachi: EWWWW. And Lee, you do know Gaaras awake right? Gaara: -Gives the fingerLee: He says hes not, and I trust Gaara very much. Itachi: Oh my god Kimimaro: Can I read this to you people already? Kabuto: Please do. Kimimaro: -ahem- what you come to seek is gone away, carried by two legs down contorted halls, with greater goal in mind than answering beck and call. Seek and find this hidden treasure and you shall be saved beyond measurethat is the WORST rhyme ever. DM: Gimme a break. Godingrates Kabuto: Well who fucking took it?! Itachi: Probably that big-ass warrior we killed awhile back. Kisame: They almost make it sound like this item hand a mind of its own Itachi/Kabuto: THE GIRL!!!!

Zakura: I dunno. One day when Sakura wasnt sticking up for herselfI just kind of woke up. Jiraiya: Well, you know girlsone should always live their fantasies Oro/Kure: -SMACKJiraiya: Owwwand for as long as I can get material. Oro/Kure: -SMACKTo Naruto and Lee: Why are you two so blind? Lee, Tenten luvs you and you are so ignorant of her? Naruto, Hinata is a cute girl, has a nice rack for her age and STALKS YOU! C'mon! To Kyuubi: Why are you so damn cool? You are possibly the coolest person in there! To you I give an hour of freedom from your chibi form. Do you like Billy Joel music at all? To Zakura: This has been bothering me for a while; do you look like Sakura at all? If so I pity you. I give to everyone a pic of a chibi Hinata! Enjoy!

Naruto: She does? Hinata: NO I DONT!! Lee: She does? Neji: Who the fuck is Tenten? Naruto: Of course Hinata doesnt stalk me. Thatd be silly, she could just go ahead and come right up and hang out with me. Hinata: -blushKyuubi: Cant help it. I just am. Zakura: Plus he has a big member so he think it makes him king of the world. Kyuubi: In a mans world it DOES. Zakura: whatever. Kurenai: -gulpKyuubi: Billy Joels ok. Lucifel: YAY piano manoh and btw, Im starting a harem and ceyx0991 is my first official member. (Jaden is first husband, so he dont count as a harem member)

Zakura: And I look like Sakura but with black hair and dress, and bigger boobs. Sakura: not fucking fair Everyone: YAY!! CHIBI HINATA!!!
To Shikamaru: WHERE was your tattoo? I recently saw some Naru/Jira stuff so... Jiraiya has to kiss Naruto! ... I feel perverted somehow. Sorry Naru:D heehaw throws Mewtwo into room. Good luck bitches!

Shikamaru: Why does she ask me a question every time?! Its so troublesome Shino: It was on his ass. Why do you think I only saw it while he was in the bathroom? Sakura: Guys are so gross!! Shino: I couldnt help it Naruto: Why am I being so abused this chapter?! Jiraiya: Naruto, do the sexy no jutsu!! Naruto: No way! Im not gonna do that just so you enjoy it!! Jiraiya: I wont!! What do you take me for?! Just do it so I feel less pervy! Naruto; You couldnt BE less pervy if your life depended on it! Kiba: -bumps Jiraiya and he falls forward into a kiss with NarutoNaruto: BLEGH!! NASTY! Jiraiya: uuhyeah-blushZakura: That is soaww, fuck, its mewtwo. Mewtwo: You ninja are not adequate ninja. I will create an army of ninja clones and we will take over this world and make it a better place. A cleaner place Zakura: Stop whining you pathetically emo excuse for a villain! Mewtwo: w-what? Zakura: First of all, cloning ninjas is no big deal, we do it ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Sakura: Zits not that kind of Zakura: You stay out of it!! Secondly, shut the fuck up! The world is FINE. Clones suck ass. Mewtwo: You will pay for that -eyes glow and things start explodingKyuubi: Excuse, before you kill everything elsecould you get me a ninetails clone? Mewtwo: You too will be cloned and improved for my new wor Kyuubi: -POWMewtwo: -gets thrown across the room by the force of the punchKyuubi: How dare you fucking suggest you can improve ME?! Ill show you who needs improving!! -Kyuubi whoops ass on mewtwo and eventually knocks him out and throws him outsidehe lands on Tenten and get his head stuck in Jangos helmet.(goes psycho)I WILL NOT BE DENIED!(casts spell to give Kyuubi another tail gives tail to HT then casts another spell to make him 4 foot from paw to shoulder) that's fair right? Anyways does anyone have a problem with fangirls while I'm in a killing mood (yes I'm a psycho and I like the taste of blood) I will personally torture, kill, and/or eat them. You can tell me how you wish them to die also. But there's a catch, if they're my friend they don't die but anyone else will.

Sakura: Sowho else wants to just pretend like this letter never happened? Everyone: -nodsnodsDeidara: Aww, but crazy people are so much funyeah Kankuro: -twitchKyuubi: -holds tails defensivelyHinata: You are so KAWAII!! I totally LOVE YOU! So sweet.. Gaara: I read that you hate sweets and your favorite food was salted tongue, if so, how can you like fraps? Lee: Do you REALLY like Sakura? Honestly. If so, why? And I have a dare! BE EMO FOR A CHAPTER! (is that physically possible =O)Plus, Lee, you didn't kiss who you thought was the most sexiest. *giggle* Ta, loves! SpontaneousDefinate

Hinata: Th-thank you-blush-

Naruto: Ne, Hinata, you have so many fans! Isnt it great!? Hinata: -blush and faintNaruto: She sure gets a lot of fainting spellsweirdKurenai, you should have a doctor check her or something. Everyone: -face-palmGaara: Whoever said that was a LIAR. I do like salted tongue, but I also love sweetsjust not chocolate. Lee: -gasp- HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE CHOCOLATE?! drops GaaraGaara: OWWW! Lee: Oh, Im sorry, did that wake you? Everyone: Gaara: yeahsure Kabuto: Lets go find the damn kid Lee: While we are walking I must say that I am completely in love with Sakura because she shows determination and devotion even in the roughest times! She is strong and beautiful always! Gaara: -whimperLee: What is emo? Itachi: Fall out boy, Panic at the Disco, A.F.I., you know Lee: Oh, ok. Makes plans for chapter 25- Oh, and I wasnt around for the truth or dare part, so it technically didnt count! Lucifel/Dm: DO IT NOW!! Lee: As inwho here do I think is sexiest? DM: Ayup. Lee: OhIm straight

DM: But if you were gay, just think about who in general you would be most attracted to. Gaara: -closes eyes and prays- pleasepleasepleaseIll become religious, God, Ill believe in you, if you just give me this Itachi: WHAT THE FUCK KID!?! GET OFF OF ME!! Gaara: I hate you god Lucifel: I want to leave you all with this very insightful thought brought to you by Ceyx0991 who is my son and harem member. -Ahem- Shikamarus head is like a pineapple. Shikamaru: Hey! Kiba: Whoait IS Shikamaru: -glaresLucifel: And SpongeBob lives in a pineapple. Just think about that. LOVE YOU ALL!!! BAI BAI!!

Ask Sakura 25 Lucifel: Hello one and allSo, Im here to apologize because I just cant do it anymore. This will be the last installment of Ask Sakura. Like, I love you all, and I love this story, but it just takes to much time. Im too busy and tired and un-inspired. I really, REALLY, wanted this to last a year butyknow, shit happens. Sorry! Also, I deleted chapter 15, which was the alert about my winter break. So, the screwed up all the reviewing because it made chapter 27 chapter 26 so people couldnt review. Im sorry! People in the room: PARTAY!! Were leaving tomorrow!! Kabuto: What about us?! DM: You get stuck in here. Unless you can escape by the end of this chapter Kabuto: We need to go NOW. Everyone: -rushes out of the roomHaku: Hi! Were back!GODAMMIT CRAMPS!! collapsesZabuza: Oh thank fucking GOD its almost over Haku: -while in fetal position on the floor- But where will we go?! Zabuza: Away from here and thats all the matters. Kiba: how is it the only girl who gets cramps is Haku?! Sakura: Were used to it. Im on my period right now. Kiba/Naru: EWWWWW!!! This one is for both Sakura and Kakashi: How do you feel about each other? I mean lets face it, there is nothing keeping you apart: age is only a number and Sakura is no longer your student, Kakashi. Sasuke is a traitor and you deserve better...after all, someone needs to heal your broken heart (and not Naruto, for he belongs with Hinata). Plus, you are both attractive...

((Kakashi is too busy picking up where Gais sexy party left off to answer questions sorry)) Sakura: No! Hes SO not my type! I dont like lazy men! Thats Inos deal! Shikamaru: -twitchNaruto: Hwa? I dont belong to any girl Kyuubi: Thats right kid, fight the power. Kurenai: Women are the power now? Kyuubi: Always were. Kurenai: -rolls eyesA.H.S: -Hums softly,licking the blood dripping from her fingers- Good news!! Tobi's dead! So no fic for him!! The other Akatsuki: Yay! A.H.S: And some odd news! I have finally agreed to marry Sasori and give him the Ask whatever fic! Sasori: -Snuggles from behind, smiling creepily- Hurray for me!! A.H.S: Anyhow!! -Tosses Itachi a portable Dvd player and Dvd- I caught all the closet action for ya!! Zakura!! I want you and the others to help plan the wedding!! -Coughes- Deidara, you know the rules. You leave you will be killed. No offense Oro-chan but we still have to kill you, no matter how much I respect your work. Questions/dares: Gaara and Lee, I dare you to have an uber hot makeout session!! Sakura, have you read the Phoenix Final Flare jutsu yet? Itachi: Oh SWEET!! We have to watch this! Kabuto: If you have the time for that, good for you. The rest of us will be getting our asses OUT of here!! Itachi: IuhIgrrumFINE!! But the second Im out of here Im watching it. Kisame: Well, shit, I wanna see it too. Itachi: NO! This is mine! Kisame: Oh whateverlike I dont have complete ownership of your ass. Itachi: -blushGaa/Kimi: -confused looks-

Kabuto: We dont have time for a make-out session! Gaara: meep Lee: Why would you want something like that anyway?! Gaara: -clutching Kimis arm- Why does he torment me?! DM: Lucy says you can wait until youre out (if you get out) and then do any dares. Gaara: Come on lets hurry! Kimimaro: How inconspicuous Gaara: -glaresZakura: Sure. Ill leave arranging the wedding to Haku and Hinata Haku: KYEEE!! Lets plan! Zabuza: not again Deidara: You cant kill me while Im in hereyeah. Sasori-samawhy are you leaving me for her? Zakura: You two were an item? Deidara: Well, we werent monogamous but I thought I was his favoriteyeahhey, let me help plan the weddingyeah Haku: OK! Deidara: -evil smirkSakura: I haveand Im just waiting for an excuse Zakura: You realize I know it too now right? Sakura: I HATE YOU! Zakura: Ill be back in you by the end of this chapter. Sakura: Whateverwe should really have sake to celebrate this Kiba: YOSH!! Drunken party!

Neji: -gets kicked violently away from the frap pool- Ouchbitches Danie & Anjiru: Greetings from the frap pool! Anjiru: Now, onto our questions/dare/gifts/randomness! Danie: Firstly... Kurenai, why do you like Gai!? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WHY! WHY MUST YOU LIKE THATTHAT... PEDOPHILE!! HE'S A LAME EXCUSE FOR A TEACHER! -cries sadly in a corner that has the sign "Danie-chan's EMO corner"Anjiru: -pats Danie on the back- Ahem... I'm really sorry about her breakdown... Anyway, I have a simple question for all of you, given the chance that you can change the way you look, will you change the way you look? Why or why not? Danie: -still cryingAnjiru: Look what you've done Kurenai!! She won't stop crying because you like Gai!! Anyway... a question from Danie... She said, "Can I turn Oreo-sama back into a girl? I liked him more when he was a girl!!" Danie: -at last stops crying- I'm gonna kill him... -shoots Gai with a M16Gai: LE! -falls on the floor deadDanie: MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -vanishesAnjiru-chan & Danie-chan Kurenai: He is NOT a pedophile! Thats Kakashis department! ((Gai meanwhile is muttering Lees name in his sleepwhat?)) Naruto: Likefor real? Kurenai: What did YOU think he and Sasuke trained alone so much for? Naruto: I feel sick Sakura: You know this? Kurenai: All the jonin do. Sakura: And you let him TEACH?! Kurenai: -shrugs- its his own business. At least he usually gets consent. Sakura: How can you be ok with this?! Kurenai: Well, you get kind of de-sensitized after a while. Even Asuma has his moments. Shikamaru: -blushZakura: Show of hands, who WOULD change their appearance? Saku/Hina/Jira/Dei/Kyuu/Kan(while still twitching): -raise hands-

Zakura: So tell us, why do you think youre ugly? Besides Sakura who IS. Sakura: I hate you!! I only want a smaller forehead! Zakura: And rightly so. Hinata!! Youre so cute! What could you possibly want to change!! Hinata: I wellId like towell-blushKurenai: Come on, Hinata, what is it? Hinata: WellI wish my breasts were smaller. All: WHY?! Hinata: Theytheyre annoyingWhen I fight I have to bind them really tight or they move too much and it stresses my backand when I try to lie down in the tub they dont submerge all the way Neji/Kiba/Jira/Zaku/: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Hinata: -nods- my tub is shallow. Lucifel: (I have this problem too. Shallow tub+big chest REALLY ANNOYING) Kiba: But youre likerichdoesnt your family have a really nice tub or something? Hinata: Th-they doI was talking about my Per-personal tub All: -gape- no fair Hinata: SoId rather have Sakuras bodyshes skinnier too Kurenai: Hinata, dear, men like full-figured girls. Jira/Kiba/Naru/Neji/Zabu/Zaku: HELL YEAH!! Hinata: -blushZakura: And just in case youre curious so do lesbians! Sakura: -palm-smackJiraiya: Anyway, Id just like to be young again is allI miss my flexibility Orochimaru: Its ok. I have enough for both of us.

Jiraiya: -nosebleedDeidara: I always wanted blue eyesyeah. Zakura: Is that it? Deidara: Yup. Zakura: Fair enough. Kyuubi: Well Id like to be a giant fox again. You know, just one of those little things Orochimaru: I know something of yours that ISNT a little thing-looks deliberately downwardsKyuubi: -shields self with a tailZakura: And you can give him another brown potion and see if he drinks it. Otherwise, no gender changing! Orochimaru: Awww Sakura: Wait! I thought you couldnt let any characters die! What about Gai? Lucifel: Thats outside my jurisdiction. Sorry. Sakura: somehowI dont care. Anyways, Shikamaru, Sponge bob lives in your hair, wow thats a new one. Lee wtf! I know Itachis sexy, but hell Gaara is pyscho cute! Lee i dare you to have a full make out (tongues included) with Gaara for 10 minutes! try not to suffocate! Itachi, why did you kill your mum, she was nice, every other Uchiha i understand, arrogant pricks. Naru-Chan, if you were gay, who would you go out with, can be anyone from the Naruto world. Kisses Lucifel. June x Shikamaru: He does notugh Naruto: Are you SURE? Shikamaru: Yes, youre the bubble-head. Not me. Naruto?

Shikamaru: Exactly. Lee: Huh? But he is tall and dark and feminine enough that I dont mind kissing him so much. Itachi: Kimis girlier than me! Lee: Yeah buthes too pale. Gaara: -compares skin to KimisItachi: What about Gaara?! Gaara: -intent stareLee: Well, the truth isI like some men, but only ones older and stronger than me. Kabuto: Liiiike Gai? Gaara: -silently praying- nonononono, PLEASE, no Lee: -blush- N-noof course not. Let us continue this adventure! Ita/Kisa/Kabu: -follow Lee with much snickering and eye-rollingGaara: -stays behind staring after LeeKimimaro: You ok, kiddo? Gaara: I feel like Ive been raped Kimimaro: -snicker- Come onyoull get TWO make-out sessions now! Gaara: Butbut now Ill just be thinking about him kissing Gai Kimimaro: Naw, youll have other stuff to think about. Trust me. Itachi: She was not nice. She TOTALLY played favorites with Sasuke! She threw out my nail polish!! Flames from eyes and mouthKisame: Do you need me to cool you down? Itachi:you never cool me down Kabuto: huh? What?

Itachi: NOTHING! NOTHING! Lets move on, ne?! Naruto: Ohumhmmm -sits in silence for a few minutesZakura: Oh come ON we know youre not reallt thinking. Out with it! Naruto: Fine! I guess it would have to be Gaara-poutGaara: You know, Kimi, even in the light of this horrible revelation. I feel somehow pleased Kimimaro: Stop talking like Itachi. Sakura: Eww! Why Gaara?! Naruto: -shrugs- We just have that understanding, yknow? Were tight. Jiraiya: I TOTALLY had my money on Sasuke Naruto: Eww. No. Too emo for me. Sakura: YES! He is mine! Orochimaru: As IF. Itachi: Just so everyone knows, Sasukes mine. Just had to put that out there. Kisame: That is so freaky Itachi: What its Kabu/Ita: --JUST incest! Itachi: huh? BlinkKabuto: -rolls eyesShika, I'm sorry I'm so troublesoome I'll leave you alone... why don't you use the journal anymore? To Kyuubi I give assorted smexy clothing in case he gets anoyed by everyone staring at him. Deidara can have what left over. to Haku and Kyuubi, again, I give yellow potions. Their are obvious advantages but look closely, there are some drawbacks to.

Shikamaru: Wasnt that just another question? sigh- I just write when no-ones paying attention. Lucifel: butbut I see all Shikamaru: -smirkLucifel: thats not fair. Kyuubi: Eww, clothes Deidara: YAY! grabs clothes and goes through them ravenously- oooh! LOOK AT THIS COAT!!...yeah holds up massive black coat with a HUGE red-fur collarKyuubi: that I can wear. steals and puts onDeidara: hey Haku: OhI dont knowcant I just have another brown potion? Lucifel: KKs too crafty for that. Haku: Butwould I go back to being dead? Zakura: No, its just your body. Haku: What if I go back to my half-rotted corpse. Zabuza: My only words on this is that Im no necrophiliac. Haku: Ill pass. Kyuubi: dammit I just got this coat! Otherwise I would. -the D&D group suddenly comes across a hallway in which five bodies lie twisted and brokenKabuto: Poor bastardsthey look vaguely familiar. Itachi: Oh shitthese are the people that took our place! Kabuto: So? Itachi: They had the girl! Kabuto: dammit.

Kimimaro: Usually Kabutos the one a step aheadmust be stressing out too muchheh, hes cute when he stresses. Gaara: Yeah, uh-huh-watches Lee hungrily as he looks through the bodiesLee: OI! Ones alive! Kabuto: Dammit. goes and heals until hes at one hit pointFighter: -cough- Whats going on? Who are you? Kabuto: NPCs. Fighter:The DMs falling behind on names. Thanks for healing me! oh no. Are my friends dead? Kabuto: Your role-playing makes me cry. So, where did the little girl go? Fighter: We were attacked by a demon and he took her away. Itachi: Dont you even want to know WHY we want to know?! Fighter: Ohwhy? Kabuto: -punches him in the faceDM: Hes at negative one again Kabuto: And I dont care. People like that deserve to have their characters killed. Probably provoked the damn demon. DM: maybe. Kabuto: Ayup. (Now looks like a brown kitsune in a green robe) Good news, everybody! I joined chakraholics anonymous and I don't need this small mountain of Kyuubi chakra in a can anymore! So, I'm auctioning it to the highest bidder in that room. Kyuubi, you can bid too, so you might wanna draw me a map to your hidden demon treasure trove. Kiba: What's with the red triangles on your cheeks? Shikamaru: Holy crap, almost no ninja around has facial hair! There's Asuma, Sarutobi, maybe your dad, and I think that's it! I'm going to assume it's not homosexuality-related and say it's something in the water... Kyuubi: I wont kill you when my day of total annihilation comes. Hows that?

Deidara; Ill give sexy favors and lots of my clay. Zakura: Ill give you all of Sakuras money, a threesome with me AND Sakura (or one on one with whomever you choose), and naughty pictures sakura has stashed in her underwear drawer. Sakura: Thats all MY stuff!! Zakura: What else can I bid?! Kyuubi: -feeling challenged- Ill give you your own harem of whatever women you want. Zakura: Ill be IN your harem! Deidara: I dont even really want the chakraexcept for to help Akatsukiyeah. I just wanna get laid. Neji: umm, hi? Just say the word. Deidara: I wasnt given the word, sadlyyeah Neji: well, lucky for you the word is sadly. You win! Deidara: I like being on the bottomI dont know if youd be any goodyeah Neji: Was that a challenge blondie? Deidara: yeah. -Neji tackles Dei into the closet and soon they can hear moaning and squealingKiba: -trying to ignore- theyre uhummtheyreeww, what was that sound? Shino: Just answer the question, love. Kiba: Oh, theyre kind of like tribe-marking thing my family does. Naruto: But arent you like the only family that does that? Kiba: Yeah, so? Naruto: So whats the point? Kiba: shut up!! Shikamaru: yeahbut then again were Asian.

Sakura: Did Shikamaru just say something racist? Shikamaru: no I stated a fact. Kiba: Hey! I could grow a beard if I wanted to! Neji: -coming out of the closet with a well-exhausted Deidara- Youve been in here for almost four months; wouldnt you have grown something by now?! Kiba: Wouldnt you have?! Neji: I always have a razor with me n my survival pack. Kiba: fuck you. Sulks in Shinos lap.MiniD: Hi every one! waves I have some one here who is a good friend of mine! Catnipped: Hi! waves MiniD: just so you know she's the other girl that has that large fetish for Jiraiya. anyway, questions! Catnipped: Oh! i got one! hey lee! why is it you dress like Gai and don't have your own style? not that i'm complaining...looks at lees butt MiniD: pushes Catnipped away anyway now that you mention lee...giggels pervertedly pushes gaara's and lee's heads together and casts a spell so that their lips are stuck together Now your lips can't part until you two makeout for ten minutes! insert evil laugh here. Ok i'm done now. Catnipped: Another question! MiniD: Yes another question! Orochi-kun(or orochimaru-sama whatever you like best) i know you want to destroy Konoha but why? Mini Death Jiraiya: Why can Sasuke visit the fans but I cant? WHY?! Dramatic pose of anguishLee: -looks over shoulder at own but- ? I dress like Gai and follow his lifestyle because he is such an amazing person!! Gaara: -loads rifle grumbling- Lets see how you like what happens when you look at MY Lees ass Kimimaro: Uh-huh, yeah, and how are you gonna get to them? Gaara: Ill find a way. Kimimaro: but theyre so supportive of you and Lee! Gaara: Yeah, well she shouldnt have looked at his ass.

Kimimaro: You over-protective little boy. Kabuto: Guys! Im trying to track down this little girl with NO tracking skills, shut the fuck up! Itachi: God, maybe you should have taken a bonus in tracking. Rolls eyesKabuto: Clerics dont need tracking!!...wait, youre a fucking assassin! YOU should be doing this! Youre the one that hunts people down! Itachi: Yeah, and why would I do that? Kabuto: Because if you dont youll never get into your little brothers ass again. Itachi: Set me on the trail!! Orochimaru: Well, DUH, becausebecauseBecause they SMELL bad over there. Kyuubi: So true! Kyuu/Oro: -High five!Hinata: I dare you too tell Naruto how much you admire him, -why- you admire him, and then admit your true feelings to him... Kyuubi: Bravo on the evil laugh Kyuubi! I dare you to make-out with Kurenai for..3 minutes? Yeah, 3 minutes. Nods solemly And in reward, besides the kissing, I'll give you an extra tail, but sorry, no more height...lots more power though!Lee: YOSH! I apoligize my youthful comrade, I did not know that Gai-sensei would run off like that, -orkidnapped...However, I have arragned it so that my minions will re-capture him, and return him to safety. Gives him a case of Soldier-Sake That Improves your strength, speed, hit points, and endurance by all lot, and allows you to to use your Drunken-Fist Style... Also, mind if I train with you some time, your training sounds much more rigorous then my own, and would undoubtlely improve my own ability! YOSH! MAY THE FLAMES OF YOUTH EXPLODE! P.S. Good luck Zabuza with P Hinata: II uhwha Naruto: I know that Hinata admires me, because of my way-of-a-ninja. I also know how good of friends we are! Theres nothing for her to tell! Gives thumbs up to HinataHinata: -bluuushShikamaru: -aside to Naruto- Was that just a cleverly played move to keep Hinata from expressing feeling you know she has but is shy about and you dont want her to be pressured into saying so?

Naruto: hwa? Shikamaru: hehnever mind. Kyuubi: butbut shes so-shiversKurenai: And what the fuck is wrong with with me? Kyuubi: Well, youre humanAnd some humans Im ok with, but youre just SO humanI mean, ick. Kurenai: Oh really? Youre so sure? Kyuubi: -raises eyebrows- Yeaaaah. Kurenai: Why dont you see for your own damn self? Kyuubi: wait, what? Kurenai: -rolls eyes, and then pounces on KyuubiEveryone: O Kyuubi: -after Kurenai has pulled back- whoa. Kurenai: -starts to walk awayKyuubi: -as new tail appears he grabs her arm- And where are you going? Kurenai: To talk with my student. Kyuubi: Babe, where I come from, you FINISH it if youre gonna start something like that. Kurenai: -stomps foot, knees groin, pokes eyes and punches noseKyuubi: -falls to the floor yowling in pain.Kurenai: Yup, all you fancy ninja-men are never ready for some basic self-defense:3 Jiraiya: -covers self defensivelyLee: Oooh! This will be very useful!! Kimimaro: Ack! Hides behind Gaara-

Gaara: Um, wtf? Kimimaro: Oh, sorry, flashback. Gaara: Was it that bad? Kimimaro: Im coping. Gaara: damn, Im sorry. Kabuto: Just wait to Lee: -gulps down the sakeKabuto: Well, never fucking mind. Lee: Yosh! I am a great warrior! I can not be defea-hic-ted, I will break us out of this place with my hands!! Starts banging head on a wallKabuto: Thats your head Lee: oh yes-punches wallWall: -collapsesDM: GODAMMIT!! Lee: Yosh! Whatd I hic- tell you? Kabuto: well Ill be fucked in hellOnward then! Lee: Andand of COURSE you can train with me, so long as-slong as you keep up with my youth! Kimimaro: -follows very far behind-Throws Luke Skywalker into the roomyou know if you keep throwing these people out the window you can just jump out using Orochimaru as a pad Sasuke: Gimme some money I will sell you to a fan girl if you don't shut up Sasuke: I'll be good Go die! Sasuke: Ok emoness go -slits wrist

Zakura: Don't complain for the entire chapter Naruto: Chew on a dog treat fox-boy Luke Skywalker: Hey kids! Lets learn about safety when using the force! Zakura: ugh, its the goody-two-shoes. And btw, that window is only there when it is needed for the throwing out of guests, so that wouldnt work. Luke: But you should NEVER throw yourself, or especially not your friends or guests out a window, kids! Neji: So likewhat happened to being a jedi? Luke: Thats my profession, sure. But as a hobby I teach safety to kids!! Always do what you enjoy most! gives enthusiastic thumbs upZakura: Sowho wants to throw this one out? Everyone: MEMEME!!! Luke: Hey now, thats not very nice or safe Orochimaru: ACK!! Did my Sasuke-chan really kill himself?! NOO!! Luke: -while dodging the people trying to catch him- Oh, cutting is very dangerous. Zakura: My fucking GOD will you shut UP?! steals Kurenais skillet and smashes his head into pulp- Whew, that helped loose all the pent-up hate I have for pussy-faces like Sakura Sakura: HEY! Zakura: Sowhat to do with the body? Kyuubi: -points thumb towards closet- put him in the corpse room. Zakura: cool. throws the body in- What?! Me not complain?! Youre not serious Sakura: theyre READERS, of course theyre not. But we have to do their will anyway its your own fault. Zakura: Imnot bothered by thisreally Im not-twitchNaruto: I used to eat dog treats all the timeand this is the gourmet kind! Youre spoiling me! eats dog treat-

Kiba: Dude! Those were my favorite kind growing up! Give me some! Naru/Kiba: -eat dog foodShino: Im not kissing you until you have SCRUBBED that mouth. Kiba: Aww dammit. Yamina: O.O poor Naru-kun...u keep getting abused...I dare u 2 make out w/ Neji-san Sai: He has no dick. You can be sure of that. Yamina: Sakura-san,have u ever considered Sai-san? Sai: EW, not that ugly, you idiot! Ja ne! Naruto:How can you feel bad for me and then make me do THAT?! Neji: theres a REASON Narutos one of the few guys I havent slept with! Naruto: Dont make me do this Zakura: Im doing MY dare, you have to too. Shikamaru: was that a complaint? Zakura: Of course not Naruto: But hes a MAN. Neji: but hes UGLY! Naruto: I am not!! Neji: Yes you are! And I bet you suck at making out! Naruto: with a GUY I do! Neji: Oh sure thats always the Saku/Zaku: Just DO IT!! Neji: Fine! Naruto: What n Neji/Naru make-out session!!

Neji: Just as I thought Naruto: -gag, wheeze, retchNeji: -scowlSakura: Well, hes cute buta little too creepy for me. Kiba: Too much air-head not enough emo. Sakura: shut up you. -Attempts to kidnap Kyuubi and take him into a closet!Oh, questions.. Manda-sama.. Oro-chan's snake.. What type of person would you like to eat? And Lee? I dare you to kiss Gaara, on the lips. If you don't, I'm stealing all of your green outfits and will burn them.. Oh! Also.. -Sends Loads of food, varying from Olive Garden food to McDonald's food..Kyuubi: -standing on the defeated fan- Yeahnot so much. Manda: A juicy oneheheheh Orochimaru: -to Jiraiya- Arent you glad youre old and crusty? Jiraiya: YeahHEY! Orochimaru: heeheehee. Kimimaro: And another dare to look forward to. Gaara: Shut UP. pushesLee: We are going to have to do a LOT of making out, ne? swaysGaara: -blushes-Y-yeah Lee: -leaning in close- per-hic-haps we should sta-hic-rt now? Gaara: -furious blushing- ahum Itachi: We dont have TIME for this shit! Weve got to find the gir Lee: Say no more! knocks down another wall and it opens into a small corridor at the end of which is a wooden room and whatever trail they were following seems to lead there-

Kabuto: Sothrough the door then Everyone: YAY!! FOOD!!!!! -walks out of the closet, reassembled, summons a black hole and returns homeKyuubi: As punishment for "trying" to kill me, im placing a non-removable collar on you that will turn you into a neon pink JubJub for an entire chapter.(furry, no armed, huge footed thing) Kisame: What up! Do you mind elaborating on those bruises you gave Itachi?(dont skimp on the details) Lee: I dare you to make out with Gaara for 7 minutes and no using Sakura or anything/one as an excuse not to. Til next time Fangirl10174 (now made immortal through the powers of Jashin, thanks Hidan!!) Kyuubi: What the POOF Kyuubi: Chuuukrooo-glaresGirls: CUTE!! Kisame: While they try to open that surprisingly well-jammed door, sure. Itachi: NO!! Kisame: So, when I fuck someone, I like the whole damn world to know. So, I leave my mark. Kabuto: When you FUCK someone?! Itachi: -slumps in a cornerKisame: Yeah. Anyway, I especially get carried away with Ita-chanhes just so pretty and defiant yaknow? Kabuto: -trying not to collapse with laughterKisame: So anyway Lee: FALL DOWN DOOR!! kicks door and it shattersKimimaro: Well how about that?

Lee: I am tired now-collapsesGaara: -catches1.Lee-Hey Lee, you know the longer it takes for you to go out with me the more I'm going to have my sister torture Gai-sensei!And trust me, my sister is pure evil! She's more evil and violent then Orochimaru, Itachi, Kisame, Kyubi and Zakura put together! -grins wickedly2.Deidara-HI! -waves- You're awsome! 3.Everyone-On a scale of 1 to 10, how insane do you think I am and why do you think this? BYE-BYE! -LeesLover7 Kiba: I dont think your sis could be worse than my sis Neji: Oh, everyone thinks their sisters are horrible. You just dont have enough incest in your lives. Hinata: -blushDeidara: -waves back- Wanna play with some of my clay?yeah Zakura: Ok, Im just gonna go ahead and answer this last one, no time for this everyone stuff. Youre an eight. A seven on the just plain crazy scale, which is where most of our reviewers standand then an extra point for liking fuzzy-eyebrows. Sakura: Hes not that bad Orochimaru: TEASE! TEASE! Sakura: Shut up! Lee: -in his sleep- Gai-sensei! Nooooo!! Gaara: -rolls eyes and holds him stillDM: ANYway, before you in the room is an elevated bed, lying on which you can see the small dark-haired girl from earlier. The rest of the room in a plain stone room with a high domed ceiling with rafters. Itachi: Lets approach the fucking bed. DM: As you approach down from the rafters jump two lithe figures. They barely touch ground before springing up for attack.

Kabuto: What the f -A staff hit Kabuto in the side and sends him skidding across the room and Itachi barely dodges a sword-swing from the other attackerDM: Now that you regain your ground you see that your foes are two young humanlooking people, a red-haired girl wielding a bo staff and a blond young man with a longsword. Itachi: Who the fuck do you people think you are?! Boy: Were the ones keeping you form Elani, pal. Girl: If you want her you have to fight your way past us. Kabuto: What lame set-up is this? And are those rafters there JUST so they could jump from them?! DM: Shut up and fight you horrible over-analytical person! Boy: Listen to the man. shoots a bolt of invisible energy at Itachi and Kimimaro and the fight beginsTeeheehee hahahaha poor Jaden I get to be w/ lucifel too! Woot! Neji: I've always wondered, how great would it be if you and Ino hooked up? I mean you're both sluts, right? Shikamaru: Sorry about the whole pineapple thing. Itachi-sama: um seeing as how I did give you the deed to the local Starbucks and all, could you do me a favor? I want my family dead but don't really feel like going to jail and getting anally raped, so could you...you know? -ceyx0991 aka The Son of the Morning Star Lucifel: Poor Jaden? This just means happy times with all three of usand by the way, Im the morning start hes talking about. Sakura: Doesnt that make your harem member your son too? Itachi: Its JUST incest! Kabuto: Were in the middle of a battle here!! Itachi: But yelling it in the middle of battle is what you DO with a catch phrase! Kabuto: WhatEVER.

-They fight with stunning splendor and in some cases (coughitachicough) with backstabbing cowardiceItachi: HEY! Kisame: I stab his back thank you -AHEM, and after all is said and done the blond and red-head abruptly stop the fight and sit panting on the floorBoy: Very good. You guys have proven your determination. Not bad at all. Girl: elani, you can wake up now. Elani: -sits up quickly and bounds over to them- hey guys! These are my cousins Kia and Ryushi, Im sorry they fought you, but they always insist on doing that. Ryushi: So, before you take her to the shifting room, why do you want to get home so badly? Itachi: So I can see my sweet little brother againand f Kabuto: -slaps hands over Itas mouth- And I want to be with the one I love. Kimimaro: I did all of this for the one I love as well. Kabuto: -jealous glanceGaara: Well, I have a country to run so Kimimaro: Oh, and I can say for the sleeping one that he did this for the thrill of the adventure, but he also has precious people he wants to see. Kia: Psh, clichd, but good enough. Off you go. Be careful Elani. Elani: Dont worry! smilesKimimaro: Butwait, what about the other group? Kia: They were trying to abuses Elanis powers. So I summoned up a golem and had them crushed. smileItachi: Oook, well, nice meeting you bye. -They journey easily back the blue-glowy room-

Elani: You guys wait outside while I prepare myself in the room. Kabuto: Ok. Lee: -waking up- I have a headache -As they wait though, danger lurks, and just moments before Elani is ready, a beast jumps from the shadowsElmo: I FOUND you!! cacklesItachi: Its just a little puppet. Elmo: GRAAAAH!!! morphs into a massive puppet beast with ginormous claws and teeth- Lets play. Itachi: Eeep. Elani: -as the light in the room becomes a dense blue fog- Im ready, hurry! Jump in! Itachi: Take it slow! Weve got to hold him back as long as we can! Lee: Gaara, you go first! Gaara: What?! No! I cant Lee: Youre the one who can hold him back the least, you should go first! BesidesI dontwanna see you hurt. Gaara: -bluush- thank you Lee Itachi: No time for blushing kid! Move! pushes Gaara in-Gaara falls into the fog and then disappears just like the wisps of mist in the morningKabuto: Itachi! Youre next! Itachi: Yessir! jumpsElmo: GRRR!! NOO!! STAY AND PLAAAAY!!! Kisame: Outta ma way! makes a jump for the room but her trips over Elmos foot and smashes his face into the floor. Hes unconsciousno one notices-

Kabuto: Kimi, go!! Kimimaro: -shooting a magic missile- Im not gonna leave you!! Kabuto: Lee and I are the strongest, it makes sense for us to go last! Kimimaro: Fine but I Kabuto: GO! Kimimaro: -heads for the door, but just before entering, spares a look over his shoulderElmo just got a nat 20, and his claws are aimed right for Kabuto- NO!! Kimimaro flings himself in the way, pushing Kabuto back as he does so. He watches the one he sacrificed himself for the entire time that the claws go through him, reminding himself why this is so worth it. Kabuto: KIMIIIIII!!! -Before any thoughts of saving or healing come to mind, revenge springs up and Kabuto lunges at Elmo, just as Lee also plants his sword right through Elmos spine. Kabutos blade goes up through the jaw. Elmo shrinks back to normal size and fall down dead. Kabuto immediately rushes to Kimimaros side, holding him in his arms. All his healing spells are used and its too late for stabilization. Kimis only able to talk for dramatic effectKabuto: Kimimaro, you idiotI might have survived that blowwhy did you do that?! Kimimaro: -coughing up a fine mist blood- All this was for the one I love Kabuto: And now youll never see him again! Why, Kimi, WHY?! Kimimaro: For being sosmart youre certainlydense, Kabuto. he raises a hand weakly to touch Kabutos cheek- You are the oneI love. The one I havealways loved. Kabuto: KimiKimi why didnt you ever tell me? Kimimaro: Because it would have been pointless. Besides, Im alreadydead, Kabuto. This is simply a nobler death. Kabuto: But I dont want you to die for ME, Kimimaro! Kimimaro: you always get mad at me, Kabuto.

Kabuto: IIm sorryI justI thought Kimimaro: Shh, I knowI never held it against you, how else could I have kept loving you? Kabuto: You didnt deserve this lifeyou didnt deserve it Kimimaro: But Im gladI got it. Goodbye my love. and he kisses himLee: -who has been standing over them this whole time- Youyou loved him too? Kabuto: Nono I never did. One more curse in his cursed life. Thats why I owe it to himto do this. Lee: W-what are you going to do? Kabuto: There are resurrection spells in this world. Im going to find one. Lee: But if you dont leave now, youll never get out! Kabuto: Therell be a way somehow. Ill find it. And if notthe this is what I owe him. Tell Orochimaru-sama that for me. Lee: y-yes Elani: Hurry, Lee. I cant hold it. Lee: You are a very noble man Kabuto. Good bye. -they shake hands and then Lee leaves.-The first two people drop into the roomZakura: You guys made it! Im surprised, impressed and sad. Itachi: Oh fuck you. Gaara: -softly- Come on Leehurry Sakura: Is KabuI mean, where are the rest? Zakura: uh-huh Itachi: They should be coming. Neji: Anyway, I dont like slutty girls.

Kiba: yeah, he wants to GIVE the stds, not receive themfrom a girl, anyway. Neji: you really need to shut the fuck up!! Shikamaru: scool. Ive heard it all before. Itachi: Oh, yeah, after that whole fucking dungeon a good killing spree would be a nice warm-down. Tell me the time and place. hi there, to lucifel: i think you're totally awesome. i'm trying to start my own harem too! males and females are welcomed to join!! oh yes, and huggles you xP to jiraiya: i know you don't get alot of fan mails but I TOTALLY THINK YOU ROCK! GO SUPER-PERVERT!! finally a question, to sakura: i heard rumours bout you being a hermaphrodite. how does that feel like? p.s: congrads to haku and zabuza. one more thing, gives everyone mentos and diet cokes. hint: they make a great combo MWAHAHAHA FROG PRINC3 Lucifel: So, our last question ever come from Frog Princ3. And can I be an honorary guest to your harem? -Everyone else is breaking out party stuffsJiraiya: Yosh! Fanmail to ME to end this thing! Thats right mothafuggas!! Lee: -drops into the roomGaara: LEE!! -For the next half-hour theyre making out, as all the accumulated dares are answered. Gaara starts it with a long, hard kiss, and the next thing you know teeth are nipping tongues are licking and hands are groping until they fall apart pantingLee: Soumm...Kabutos not coming back Oro/Saku: WHAT?! Lee: Kimimaro sacrificed himself when Kabuto almost got killed so now Kabuto thinks its his duty to bring him back. Orochimaru: how cute! Sakura: How STUPID!! Hell never come back now! Ill never see him again!

Zakura: Thats right, bitch, you hide those feelings. Sakura: Grr. And I am NOT a hermaphrodite! You are all sick!!! Zakura: she just secretly wishes she was one. Sakura: I do NOT!! Zakura: Youd be the only one willing to screw you! Sakura: Whatever, at least this is the last I have to hear from you. Gaara: Kim diedagain? Lee: Ah, yeahIm sorry Gaara. Gaara: I shouldnt have leftI could have done somethingI know I could have. Lee: Dont blame yourself. It was all Kimis own fault. Gaara: Excuse you?! Lee: I meant he did it on purpose! You know what I meant! Gaara: I need some space Everybody puts mentos in diet coke to make celebratory explosions!! Lucifel: Thank you all for your wonderful support during this endeavor! I love you all! And one more thing Zaku/Lucy: LATE APRIL FOOLS BITCHES!!!! Lucifel: Hell yeah! Thats right; you dont expect it two weeks later do ya?! BOOYAH!!! Everyone: What?! NOOOO!! Lucifel: Haha, yeah RIGHT, Im pulling this bitch through for a year if it kills me! Sorry to trick you all! I couldnt resist!! Sakura: That wasso mean-thinks- maybe Kabuto can come back now!! Lucifel/Zakura: -do a little in-your-face happy danceLucifel: See you all later! For the next installment! HAH!! Youre all still STUCK!!

Ask Sakura 26 Lucifel: Hello my beautiful, easily tricked people! Zakura: -snickerLucifel: Anyway, for the time being obviously Kimimaro wont be answering any more questions, -bows head in sad reverie- but also, Im not going to be chronicling what Kabuto is up to either, so he cant answer any questions. However! To get your Kabu/Kimi fix please check out my two newest fanfics Foolish Games and The Only One to Shed Tears!! Much love, outtie fifty. TeeheeSakura: -sits and mopes because Kabutos not thereGaara: Sits in a corner seething sad anger because Kimimaros deadagainKyuubi: -changes back from being a chubchub- Im gonna kill so many people Zakura: Down boy. Lets get it going shall we? Gaara: -notices Kankuro- WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO KANKURO?! runs over to him and starts applying first aid and stuff- Im gonna KILL whoever did this as soon as Im done here! Manda: -urp- You try that
FooFoo ~ my question isWhy are you so dam pink!? It gets annoying... AvatEm ~ ...Itachi is a dam smexy guy, and your a... a... big fat... pink... THING! But... How come youre always so mean to Naruto? FooFoo ~ would u ask Orochimaru if he would go out with me if I turned into a guy? I would like that... well, cyaz I love you Orochimaru!! *Huggles!!*

Zakura: So yeah, this is our newest fanshe actually put herself through the hell of reading this storydamn. Sakura: My hair is naturally pink, I cant help that Shikamaru: -shuddersSakura: And my dress in RED so nyeh sticks out tongue- I am not fat!! Itachi: But she doesnt argue the fact that I AM sexy.

Deidara: Who would? Sakura: II dont know! Hes annoying! Naruto: Hey Hinata: I-uhI dont think youre annoying Naruto-kun Naruto: thanks Hinata! smileHinata: -faintOrochimaru: It would all depend on how sexy you are and how you feel about polygamyfor me, not you. Jiraiya: So your little toys arent allowed to have other lovers? Orochimaru: Of course not! They might loose loyalty to me!
Sasori: I think the theme should be...Art. A.H.S: I can live with that...But what kind? Sasori: Simple...Puppets. A.H.S: Oh hell no!! I told you no puppets!! Sasori: Then what do you suggest? A.H.S: I want Dark colors...It should be sticking to the Akatsuki theme my Dolly-chan... Sasori: I chose her because she likes to change things up and appreciates my idea of art Deidara...Plus I don't like all that clay getting in my hair. A.H.S: -Nods- Which is why -pushes Sasori into the room- Your helping Zaku-chan and Haku plan the wedding. Orochimaru...-Gets stars in her eyes- I want you to be my maid of honor!! ...Jiraya, if you give me the whole Icha Icha series for free, I'll not only model for you but help create some spinal tapping inspiration!! Finally the biggest question of all: Can we have the wedding there?!

Deidara: butbutSasori-riiin Sasori: yes? Deidara: -pig puppy eyes- Youyou love me yeah? Sasori: nnnnno. Was I supposed to? Deidara: Y-yeah Sasori: Ohsorry. Deidara: -criesSasori: Sowe agreed on puppets. Orochimaru: Sounds like fun!

Haku: UmmIt looks to me like A.H.S. didnt agree to Sasori: -puts hand over Hakus mouth- We agreed on puppets. Trust me. Orochimaru: EEEE!! Ill TOTALLY be your maid of honor! Sasori: oh god Jiraiya: DEAL! Ill give that to you at the wedding! Sasori: Wait a minuteA.H.S. cant do thatIm getting married to hershe cant seduce Jiraiya!! Deidara: You see?! Shes not loyal! Shes not WORTHY!! Sasori: You werent loyal Deidara: YES I WAS!! Neji: What about me?! Zakura: You dont count you whore. Sasori: -addressing Dei and ignoring the other two- Really? My bad Deidara: Werent you?! Sasori: Hell no. I thought we were ALL getting it on with Itachi behind closed doors Orochimaru: -to Itachi- slut. Itachi: WhateverI just got to bone some of the sexiest men alive is how I see it Deidara: the only time I was with Itachi was during that threesomeyeah!! Sasori: Well, I didnt know you were so devoted. Sorry. Deidara: -sits rejected in a cornerSasori: Lets get to planning shall we? Im only in this marriage so I can get a really strong puppet by killing my wife after I get all her trust so lets make this fast, ne? Haku: -horrorOrochimaru: Did you mean to say that one bit out loud?

Sasori: What one bit? Orochimaru: About killing your wife later Sasori: Oh shit...no Zakura: Yeah you can have the wedding here. Ill supply the weapons so you can kill his ass for trying to play you.
two cloaked figures suddenly appear in the dark room c.f 1: Naruto are you somehow related to yondaime cause you two look uncannily alike c.f 2: this question is still for Naruto. now that Kyuubi is out of you, does that mean that you no longer have whiskers? that'll be a shame cause you look mighty fine with them. light turns on and FROG PRINC3 could be seen walking in with only a towel wrapped around his waist F.P: what the...huginn! muninn! what the hell are you two doing with my computer? i leave to take a shower for one minute and!! -turns to com- oh, and for you lucifel, anything -winkF.P proceeds to chase twins out of his room later, huginn, muninn and FROG PRINC3

Naruto: I dont think sobut thatd be AWESOME!! Jiraiya: -.- so very dense Naruto: huh? Jiraiya: Nothing. Naruto: I dont have whiskers! What are you talking about? Kiba: Hey Naruto, are your feet wet? Naruto: Nowhy? Kiba: Because youre standing in denial! Get it? The nile, denial? Shino: god I must be crazy. Zaku/Lucy: YAY! Half-naked fans!!
Lee: YOSH! Of course I will try to keep up with your youth! I will train harder then ever before! I shall meet you at the Konoha Monument after you get out, and we shall have a race around Konoha on our hands 100 times to see if I am ready for your current level of training! YOSH! May the flames of youth break through the darkness of age, and show it's brightness to all! Sakura: Don't worry, I'm sure that Kabuto will be fine...even though he's a cleric...and he's all alone...On second thought...I'll try to find something to help him out...I'll get back to you on this, okay? Stay calm until then! Naruto: Besides Sakura, who else do you like, and who do you think is the prettiest girl in Konoha? *Throws food to everyone, inside, and outside the room*

Lucifel: hes starting to be so much like Lee its terrifying. Saku/Zaku: Hes YOUR husband.

Lucifel: yeahoh well, its cute. Lee: I can not wait for that day! Train well until then! Sakura: Im FINE without Kabuto! Relieve even! OK?! Naruto: Ohwellprobablywell, sexy-wise its have to be Kurenai-sensei Kurenai: HEY! Naruto: But for being pretty thats different. Hinata I guess. Hinata: -double faintEveryone: YAY FOOD!!
1. Everyone-Before my actual questions, I need to say something important... -clears throat- In your faces! -laughs loudly2.Gaara-BACK OFF! LEE IS MINE! -glomps Lee3.Luciful-You're so evil...want to join my evilness club? Great evil minds think alike... -LeesLover7

Zakura: Oh I love it when even the fans rub it in their facesits so wonderfully cruel. Gaara: -while wrapping a bandage around Kankuros arm- fuck you, girly. Sakura, youre a medic ninja! Why arent you helping me?! Sakura: Buthes got snake spit all over him Gaara: Sakuraaa glaresSakura: Ok! Ok! Geez Lee: -gets knocked over by glompage.Lucifel: If by club you mean kinky sexy ground then YES!!
I mixed the DNA of everyone in the series to create the ultimate ninja and I have an army of them. I'd break you but what fun what that be? Sasuke: I'm alive again Why did you not commit suicide Sasuke: I listened to that Good Charlotte song Hold On -throws Anakin Skywalker into roomSakura: Have sex with Neji Orochimaru: Go fuck yourself

Orochimaru: YAY! Hes alive!! Itachi: Awwand still so emo.

Zakura: that song is GAY. Sakura: I liked it Zakura: and everytime you listened to it I tried to kill myself Anakin Skywalker: The worldis sounfair. I amso angry. Jiraiya: Whats with the pauses? Is this Anakin or Captain Kirk?! Zakura: Does it matter? Niether of them an act Anakin: PadmeI loved her. So much. Why did she have to die? Kiba: Dude. NO ONE believed the connection there. The ten-year-old was more believable that you! Anakin: How dare you? I loved her! Im ANGRY! Everyone: -sighSasori: -kills him and makes him into a puppetKurenai: You knowhis face in more animated NOW that it ever was in the movies Zakura: And since sex isnt allowed without consent on both sides (thanks to stupid Lucifel) sex translates to SEXYSTEAMYMAKEOUTS!! Sakura: Oh no Neji: God dammit, Im going to have be the aggressor arent I? Sakura: Well YOURE the guy! Neji: Ughthis is why I prefer men. makes out with Sakura until they break a sweat, considered that to satisfy as steamy and then pulls awayZakura: how was it kids? Sakura: Gay. Neji: Ughgirls are sonot rough. Orochimaru: If I could I would. Jiraiya: You creepy narcissist.

Orochimaru: -smileNeji: I dare you to strip you sexy man-whore you! What got you into having so much sex? Hinata: When Neji's done you have to do the same thing. Gaara: Please don't kill catnipped! she's one of the few people that draw's utterly sexy GaaLee here let me show you! *gives him an album of GaaLee pic, sexy and fluffy alike* Oh and if you need any help with getting you-know-who just give me a call k?

Kurenai: Oh come on, stripping is a little Neji: -jumps onto a table and starts doing a little strip-dance, club lights and bow-chickbow-wow type music spontaneously come onKurenai: oh godOh GOD why are you wearing a thong?! Itachi: Im not complaininghes cute-puts dollars in thong-strapOrochimaru: Ya-yeah! -Neji finishes his strip and then casually starts to put his clothes back on but Orochimaru grabs and pulls him into the frap room to do dirty things to his cute little butt.Itachi: Dammit, I was gonna do that. Hinata: Kya! I cant strip!! Zakura: Sure you can. Sakura: We cant make her Lucifel: Yes we CAN!! Kiba: Just the top layer! Shin/Kure: -SMACKKiba: OW! What?! Shino: -rolls eyesKurenai: Youre supposed to be one of the people PROTCTING her!! Kiba: Im sorry!! But shes cute!! Kurenai: For shame Hinata: II cant

Itachi: Come on! Youve still got the bikini on underneath right?! Hinata: Yeah well Itachi: Lets go girly! puts her up on the tableHinata: -as quickly as possible take off her shirt and pants and then pulls them back on equally fast. She trips while trying to pull her pants up though and falls into Zakura arms.Zakura: -blush/nosebleedKurenai; God youre all so perverted takes Hinata and helps her put clothes back onHinata: -blushblushblushKurenai: You shouldnt have to put up with this Deidara: Shes got a nicer body than Id have imagined. Zakura: me tooand I imagined hard Gaara: -takes album and ignores Kankuro for a few moments to peruse itwhen his nose starts bleeding he goes back to his near-dying brotherLucifel: And um, if any of her stuff is on the netz please send me a link!!
To Orochimaru-sama I give a purple snake plushie. Like in this fic I read where you an' the sannin were in Target! 'njoy! To Kabuto I give a map of the D&D world's towns and mountains and etc. (It looks suspiciously like Pokemon Kanto) Oh and I give you all a brown potion (not one each just one) That you can argue over or whatever.

Orochimaru: YAYAYAYAYY!! huggles plushieManda: Thats undignifiedto have a toy made in my image Orochimaru: Its SO CUTE!!! Manda: Veryvery undignified. Kyuubi: at least you werent turned into a chubchub-brushes a pink feather off his sleeve.DM: Coolio, now I dont have to make a whole world up. Ill get it to Kabuto, Lucifel: thanks love. Orochimaru: I want it!!

Jiraiya: Will you drink it?!? Orochimaru: Maybeprobably notI just want it. Haku: GIVE IT TO ME!! pouncesZabuza: gah! pounces on HakuHaku: NO! What are you doing Zabuza?! Zabuza: now, now just think about this haku Haku: you want me to suffer through cramps EVERY MONTH just so you can sleep with a girl?! Zabuza: WellI Haku: youre a jerk! stalks offOrochimaru: socan I have the potion? Zakura: Nope, Ill be keeping this. pockets potion- Im getting ideas-eyes HinataKurenai: -glaresZakura: Kurenai!! Just the eye I want to catchgimme your red potion. Kurenai: Eh, NO. Zakura: Cmooooon. There must be something I can do!! Kurenai: Stop trying to get in mine and hinatas pants Zakura: something else? Kurenai: Too bad. Zakura: Oh fiiine-waits for Kurenai to look away and puts a decoy bottle filled with coolaid in place of Kurenais red potion- Ya-yeah.
ANYWAYS! Just wanted to pop in and tell you all who's coming to Italy. Besides Sasu-chan that is. *holds out fancy envelope* AND THE WINNER IS... ... KYUUBI! There are conditions, sadly. You have to stay dog-sized: On the plane, in the hotel and when in certain places like museums, galleries, churches,- that sorta stuff.

Sincerely, Kryah

Kyuubi: YES!! YES!! IN YOUR FACES!! ITALYS GOING DOWN!! Zakura: But you have to stay in the shape of a puppy Kyuubi: Only when Im indoors. Evil smirkSakura: Oh godpeople of Italyrun/ Kyuubi: I hope they dont keep any priceless works of art in any easily-smashed buildings. Im off, my peeps. Ciao. disappearsLucifel: -slips Kryah a collar to be used to control Kyuubi while on the trip- enjoy, kiddo.
Itachi-sama, as for the mass-murder,*hands Ita-sama an envolope* just remember not the FF family, my other family. Zakura: since you want to get into kurenai's pants and all, why don't you just henge into Gai and take advantage? Hinata: do you want to join the Harem, too? We have great bathtubs! Gaara: a nice comfy bed. Hinata: Anything you want that Lucifel will allow

Itachi: -takes envelope- Alrighty. Zakura: Because I have more dignity than to turn into someone in a green unitard. Kurenai: And it wouldnt do anything anyway Kiba: Well at least she didnt fall for his looks Hinata: N-nothanks anyway Zakura: Thats right! Hinata belongs to no ones harem but mine!! Hinata: -blush- W-what? Zakura: Nothing Gaara: -puts Kankuro on the bed now that hes all healed up and then, because Im assuming the bed is big enough, he crawls in next to him and goes to sleep sadlyHinata: Oh welluhI-mumblesZakura: What is it sweetie? Hinata: I was going to sleep when I got pulled here so I dont havea...uhwell Kiba: huh? What does going to sleep have to do with anything?

Hinata: I havent had a bra-blushblushblushZakura: I dont know if I can allow you to get one -plugs bleeding noseHinata: Hwa?! Sakura: No, Hinata, you can have one. Zakura: So long as its cute
Gives the chakra to... Shino! He outbid you all by not being annoying. Shino: I gave you a nice gift, so I get to give you a dare. I dare you to... empty your pockets. I'm curious as to what's inside. Kiba: If you had the chance to learn Dog Summoning from Kakashi, would you take it?

Shino: Ohoknot that I need it. Ummcan I give it back and not have to empty my pockets? Glances at KurenaiZakura: Nope, show em. Shino: -sighs and starts pulling things out of pocketsInventory: Lint Two condoms Three pieces of gum Some Pot A Lighter A receipt for ramen More pot A pocket watch His Wallet which holds an ID, five dollars, lint and some change More Lint A LOT more pot. Papers for rolling cigs/joints And a small bag of Pot And some more lint Kurenai: My God Shino how much do you smoke?! Kiba: -laughing- Whats more that lint is probably hemp. Shino: Its not that I smoke that muchI just keep it various places so hopefully no one will ever find all of it. Kurenai: My godIm confisticating this!

Shino: what?! How will I survive this place without getting high?! Orochimaru: By having an orgy!! Jiraiya: Keep hoping Oro Orochimaru: I will. :) Kiba: Cha, YEAH I would!! I mean, Akamaru will always be my number one dawg, but thats be awesome! Shino: did you just dawg? Kiba: Yeah. Shino: god I need a jointKurenaiii Kurenai: No.
Shika: r u EVER gonna stop denying about u nd ino?? Gaara: u ever heard of daniella konstantine, u nd her make SUCH a cute couple, ur both psychotic ND a family member tried to kill u both. Hinata: ur sister hanabi says, once u get out, she'll kill u nd becum hieress, how do u feel?

Shikamaru: I almost WISH Ino and I had something going on Sakura: What?! WHY?! Shikamaru: Ohits nothing-mumbles- anythings better than what Ive got Sakura: ooookanyway Gaara: I think you shove this poser and shove her up your ass. Lee: Oh Gaara-sits next to himHinata: Not too different reallythats pretty normal. Naruto: 0.0 Lee: -hugs GaaraLucifel: Wow, that was a short one. I guess cuz the alerts are messed up right now. Anyway, please check out the afore-mentioned fics. Leave a review and Ill love you forever!! Sasori: All right. All the plans are made. The wedding can commence.

Deidara: NOOOOyeah Lucifel: To A.H.S.: this is gonna happen between chappies, so make your next review along the timeline of the day after the nuptial.

Ask Sakura 27 Lucifel: Hello smileZakura: ?? Whatre you smiling about? Sakura: -makes sure shes still in one pieceLucifel: Nothing. smilesNaruto: Im scared. Luvifel: What on earth would you be scared about? smileLee: Hold me Kurenai-sensei! Kurenai: -blocks Lees attempt at glomping- No, who are you four talking to? Zakura: Lucifelyou can tell mewhat are you gonna do? Lucifel: Well Zaku/Saku/Naru/Lee: yes? Lucifel: This Chapter ZSNL: Yesss? Lucifel: Will be ZSNL: YES?!!? Lucifel: Rated Z(getting excited)SNL: -gasp- YES?! Lucifel: G!!!!!!!!! Zakura: What the funnybunny?

Kiba: -snicker- She said funnybunny Zakura: I meant to say funnybunnywhat the funnybunny, thats not...GRAH!! Sakura: UhI think Lucifel meant what she said Zakura: Are you funnybunnying me?! Sakura: this would be a lot less ridiculous if you would stop TRYING to say bad words Zakura: I am NOT gonna run MY story under the premise of RATED FUNNYBUNNYING G!! Lucifel: -lightning crackling behind me- Oh yes you are Zakuunless you wanna go back into Sakura Zakura: Ill be good. Lucifel: Sright bubblegum. Thinks- awww man, thats right I cant curse either Kurenai: this is a nice change Deidara: WHY AM I IN SWEAT-CLOTHES?! Sakura: That outfit you had before? NOT rated G. Deidara: Why does Kurenai get to keep her miniskirt then? Zakura: Cuz now she has jeans on with it Kurenai: What do you know-looks at jeansSakura: Questions please! Zakura: Stop acting like you own this dingdong placeaww, funnybunny
Kakuzu: -Holds his ear up to the doors.- How long can they keep this shit up?! I need that tape!! -Blinks as a loud scream echoes off the walls. Five minutes later, she walks out- I think Sasori won't be waking up anytime soon. Hidan: -Blinks- Oh my...GOD! You funyybunnied him to death! Can I be next!?! A.H.S: Anyhow...-Waves to every one- Hello all!! Zaku-chan and Haku!! Thank you guys so much! That was the best wedding ever...! For Orochimaru!: I give you the my first novel of my series of yummy!! -Hands him a black and read book.Jiraiya! : -hands him a copy of the tape Kakuzu made- There's your inspiration...Thanks for the series!! Shino!: A brand new bong! -Blinks hearing a groan in her room followed by a hand sliding out and dragging her back in- Eep! Gotta go! Sasori is waiting...You know how he hates waiting!! Till next we meet! -Akasuna no Morana!

Sasori: Hey guys. Itachi: dudewhatre you back for? Sasori: Uhturning her into a puppet didnt quite work out sweat dropDeidara: So you funnybunnied her until you passed out thenyeah?! Sasori: -shrugs- I though itd give me an advantage when the time camenow shes addicted to itIve gotta hide -hides in frap/pool room (Danie and Anjiru, just ignore him)Deidara: FINE! Run away then! I HICCUP YOUyeah!! Kiba: We cant even say HATE?! Sakura: Not TO someone, thats mean. Shino: mustgethigh Sakura: By climbing a building of course Itachi: Youre enjoying this way too much Sakura: Teehee Haku: Youre welcome about the wedding! Zabuza: urrrg-still in recuperation mode after another weddingOrochimaru: Yay! Yummy! Jiraiya: Yummy? I wanna read! Orochimaru: You do? Jiraiya: Waitwhy Zakura: Use to be spelled Y-A-O-I Sakura: Hey! Thats not very Zakura: Well you cant have a rated G Episode without a spelling section!! Sakura: Ohgood point

Zakura: Besides, kids cant read Jiraiya: -scurried off to watch tape- WHY IS THIS SO FUNNYBUNNYING EDUCATIONAL?! Zakura: It got mixed up with a Sesame Street tape Jiraiya: Nooo Shino: YES! A BONG! Pulls gong out of package- What the funnybunny? Sakura: its a g-rated bong. Shino: I hate this place with every thing I am
Hello everyone, 'tis I, THE BIGGEST KABUTO FANGIRL EVER! I have gifts of affection for everyone. -gives everyone in the room a big hug, except for my 3 faves, Oreo, Kabu-kun, and Kimi (who's dead) kissesHehehehehe... Oh right, Umm Itachi, what are you going to do with a deed to Starbucks if you can't even get out of the room? Ah well, Ja Ne, Rose

Orochimaru: Aww, too bad Kabutos not here. -Somewhere, Kabuto is sneezing violently and running away from a rose bushKiba: hah! She kissed a dead guy! Sakura: eww. Orochimaru: so? Jiraiya: Im not gonna think about that one Itachi: My Starbucks delivers Zakura: No it doesnt. Itachi: -depressed-BIG HUG!!Kiba: oh, gosh, Im gonna barf
Gift TIME Hinata: I give you the movie RENT, a plasma tv, and a DVD player just for you. Just because you're cute! Zakura: To you I give the Miyazaki boxset, and your own portable DVD player. Because even a figment of a rabid fangirls imagination should see the awesomeness of Hayao Miyazaki Question Time Shikamaru: Even though you just publicly denied having a relationship with Ino, is there any truth to the rumors that you're playing off the affections of not only Temari and Tayuya but Kin too?

Shino: When did you start smoking pompoms? My gosh that was so random!

BREAK IT DOWN NOW!!! Bum chika bum bum chick wocka bam HAPPY BIRTHDAY CEYX0991!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone (except Kiba who is doing beat boxing in the background-: Happy birthday to you (bumbumbum) Happy birthday to youuu (bowchickabow) Happy birthday dear CEYXXXXXXXXXX (dududududududu) REMEMBER ITS JUST INSECTS!! Itachi: Insects? Sakura: right, because the other word is SO for kids Lucifel: Ceyx loves that phrase, it makes me happy. Also, Ceyx, I hope you find todays theme funny to make it a double b-day present k? Luv ya son/boyfriend. Sakura: Hes your boyfriend? Lucifel: In a kiddie world where harems dont exist, yes. Sakura: Does Jaden know? Lucifel: Hes my husband. Sakura: Anywayhis questions Hinata: Kyee!! runs to go watch movieZakura: n-ne, Hinata, wanna watch some movies together? Hinata: Ok! Zakura: -blushSakura: -smack ZakuZakura: HEY! WHAT THE FUNNYBUNNY!? Sakura: Longing for another girl is not G-rated. Zakura: Oh funnybunny you goes to watch movies with HinataShikamaru: no, and if I am I dont mean to. Temaris not interested in boys right?

Sakura: Actually, she is. But shes friends with girls too, yknow? nudgeShikamaru: Ohweirdanyway, I dont even like Tayuya or Kin. Kiba: Awww, youre so mean. Shikamaru: Isnt Tayuya dead anyway? Kiba: um yes, and so are Sasori, Zabuza and Haku. Shikamaru: oh yeah Shino: Since I was twelve I guess Kiba: -nods- that was about when he started getting weird Shino: I was always weird. Kiba: I guess thats true.
Even though Gaara already healed kankuro I think these orange potions might come in handy. -gives room five orange potionne Hinata, here is an extra bra and extra panties (they are cute and matching, but are modest) Kurenai, I am giving you a bag of pompoms and a pack of mini-cigars, you have to give one to Shino. and a chocolate bar for making you do this. Love you all! 'specially Orochimaru-sama!

Gaara: -takes potions and gives one to KankuroKankuro: -wakes up- Whwhat happened? Gaara: Doesnt matter. Get some rest. Kankuro: -nods and goes back to sleep, cuddling with GaaraItachi: Aww, well, its just insects. Sakura: BROTHERLY LOVE!! ITS BROTHERLY LOVE!! Itachi: Bullsugar. Hinata; oh! Thank you -blushZakura: -blushSakura: gah! You cant see a bra in a rated-G episode! Gosh! Kurenai: This better be a dingdong good chocolate bar

Shino: pleasepleaseplease Kurenai: Fine, pompoms is slightly healthier so here. shoves a small bag at himSakura: But if you try using it before this chapters youll really be using pompoms Shino: Dingdong it. Zakura: How come Cigars are ok, but you cant say the real word for mini-cigars? Sakura: Because every kid sees the big bosses and stuff smoking cigars. Theyre not as much of a bad influence. Zakura: thats bullsugar. Orochimaru: She especially loves me, teehee. huggles snake plushieLucifiel: Don't worry, love, I won't turn into Lee, he's just inspring, his determination and all. Both he and Naruto inspire me really, since both of them never give up and all... by training with Lee and Gai, I'll have endles stamina, since I have near endless stamina now. *Wink* Zakura: I was looking through the records of all the tortures in this room that I write down, in case Lucifiel-chan ever wishes to go back and read them all, And during the dare of Naruto being quiet, and the bet, where you mentioned that you'd give him endless ramen if he stayed quiet, and he'd give you 'stimulation' if he said anything, he woke up after being uncouncious once, to yell "RAMEN! Where? Where!?!", so...Doesn't he owe you something, or had he already taken the potion by then? ((Sorry, Naruto!)) Everyone Else: Hehehe...I've been considering whether or not I would start up my -own- room of torture when Lucifiel-chan is done with you. And I have good news, and bad news. The Good news is that I -won't- be starting up my own room of Pure Questions. The -bad- news is that I'm going to start up a Satelite. meaning you'll -still- have to answer questions. P.S. *Tosses in Voldemort, just to see him fry*

Lucifel: Yay! Endless stamina! We canplayall day!! Lee: Yosh! I will train you well! Naruto: Actuallyyou owe me ramen, bubblegum. Zakura: Dingdong it, fine. Heres a bowl. Naruto: YAAAAAAY! starts eatingZakura: this stinks Sakura: HEY! You can do that! Thats horrible! Shino: Im gonna need a LOT more pompoms Kiba/Naru: So long as theres food there its cool

Voldemort: HelloI am back after sixteen yearshehehe Phone conveniently on the wall: RING! RING! Sakura: -picks up- Moshi Moshi? Oh, uh-huhno problem-hands phone to V- Sfor you. Voldemort: -taking phone- Hello? Kyuubi (on other end of the phone): MOTHERFUCKER!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TALK ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT HOW LONG YOU WERE AT LOW POWER!! AT LEAST YOU WERENT INSIDE A FUCKING DUMBSHIT OF A ASS GIVING HIM POWER EVEN WHEN YOU HATED HIS FUCKING GUTS!! IF I WAS THERE I WOULD KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD YOU NEVER FUCKING WALK AGAIN! YOU BETTER GET SOME FUCKING RESPECT FOR YOURSELF AND STOP FLIPPING THAT LITTLE GIRLY WAND AROUND! FOR FUCKSAKE!! hangs upVoldemort: -starts cryingSakura: I totally forgot Italy was exempt to the whole G-rated thing Kurenai: JUST Italy? Sakura: Yup. Voldemort: -sobsOrochimaru: And what the funnybunny is your problem? Voldemort: The fox-man was mean to me Orochimaru: Oh really? Would you like me to make you feel better? Voldemort: -nod, nodOrochimaru: -shoves Voldemort down Mandas throat- TAKE THIS POSER!! Manda: URG! ICK! IDONWANTIT!! Sakura: THIS IS NOT KID-FIRNEDLY!! Orochimaru: Girly, people on kid shows get swallowed by snakes all the time. Its the best non-graphic death EVER, Sakura: whatever

Orochimaru: Plus its beautifully ironic to shove Voldy down a snakes throat
Anyways, Sasori wtf, you aren't going to seriously leave Dei-Dei-Chan are you? Dei-Dei-Chan, is there any chance you and lil Naru-Chan are related coz ur both really Kawaii! and blond and effeminate. Gaara, my poor cute psycho, im trying to be supportive but ne1 with an interest in Gai should be locked in a loony bin, you and lee, its jst not working, so to get this over and done with, I dare you to have a 1 hr! makeout session with Naru-Chan! Oh and A.H.S. (sp.?) I saved all the Akatsuki members you killed, I'm buying the Akatsuki in a weeks time nyah :P Itachi can you take care of my dad he lives at this address -gives an envelope-? Kisses Lucifel June x

Sasori: -from hiding place- I was never WITH him! Deidara: -sobsNaruto: Were not related!...AND I AM NOT EFFEMINATE!! Sakura: Do you even know what that means? Naruto: dumb? Sakura: sure. May as well Gaara: But Ive got to take care of my brother Zakura: in kiddie-terms, a make-out session is a kiss on each cheek. Naruto: Aww man -Gaara kisses him, he kisses Gaara all is cute and fluffyItachi: -takes envelope- yay! Im going to have so much to do when I get out of here! :3 Deidara: Ill join your akatsuki, yeah! Orochimaru: Me too! Itachi: Ill be too busy Lee: what are they talking about anyway, Gaara? Do they think we shouldnt be friends? Gaara: -stares- not now Lee Manda: -finally spits Voldemort out and he crashes through the window and falls on Sasame who was trying to pull Tenten out from under Mewtwodown with pointless female characters!!!to deidara - i saw this crack pairing drawing in deviantart of u nd hanabi...

itachi - man ur even more messed up than my nutjob of a step bro hu's currently in a nut house as we speak...U DESTROYED THE EFFING CLAN COS THEY WDN'T LET U PAINT UR NAILS! how do u live with urself?? hinata - would u ever enjoy activating the cursed seal on either Neji, Hizashi or hanabi??

Deidara: Of me and who? Hinata: Hanabifor shame-covers face in horrorDeidara: but I dont like girlsyeah Neji: You knowyou didnt just play with me, Dei-kun. You also played with Oro and Itachiyou admitted to that Deidara: No I didntyeah Orochimaru: I actually remember that quite clearly smileNeji: Deidara, admit it. Youre a slumber-party. Deidara: NoI am loyal to Sasorialways loyalyeah Itachi: Hes in denial, let hi be. He really loves Sassy, its hard for him. Deidara: -rocking in fetal positionItachi: And I live with myself withA lot ofwelljack-hammeringwith my brotherits therapeutic. Sakura: Yeah you own a construction company together ne? Itachi: Xactly. Hinata: NONE! I would never! Neji: You sicko! Kiba: And yet Neji: I can think of a million people Id activate it on, yeah. Hinata: NEJI-KUN!! Neji: WHAT?!
Shino doesn't want the chakra? Hm... I can't let Kyuubi or worse, Zakura have it... YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE IT BY FORCE! (Shoves it all under Sakura) You'll have to take it from SAKURA by force! (There, that shouldn't be too hard.)

Kurenai: Is your eye color kekkai genkai-related? Please say no, Konoha needs more kekkai genkai that aren't eye-based.

Shino: Why would I want it? Its probably just hurt my bugs Sakura: ACK! GET AWAY! Deidara: -gets it all first- SASORI WILL HAVE TO LOVE ME NOW!! Sasori: no I wont Deidara: -ignores and gulps downEveryone: =O Deidara: MUWAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAI look so bad-aviary. Indeed, he in now furry. Tail, ears, red furpretty awesome, for real. Deidara: Sasoriii runs into room to get himKurenai: No, its just natural. Naruto: and creepy. Kurenai: -skillet to the head!!*giggles and huggles Kyuu-kun* Hii! Um, HYPOTHETICALLY, lets say that you had an emo-y muse. Following that, lets say that said muse is being a total bitch and not giving you any guidance. Ya know what? Screw it. How do I get Sasuke to give me some damn attention? Sincerely, Kryah From Kyuubi: :p suckas

Itachi: I could tell you how to get his attentionbut itd have to be n the next chapter. It involves and chain and leather though. Orochimaru: -smilesZakura: Yeah, yeah, Kyuubi live it up! Well get you when you return Kiba: Dude, heres the address of the best dog-trainer around, take Sasuke there. gives Kryah addressOrochimaru: But Im Sasukes only trainer Sakura: Ewww
Hinata: can i hug you?(gives cookie)

Orochi-sama: I know you've had ablums with sasuke in dresses or with cat ears, but have you had an album which sasuke has Both!?!? if not here (hands you album) Gaara: Here (hands cookie) you look like you need it. Lee: weren't you suppost to be emo for a chapter?(gives cookie) Lucifel: are only men allowed to join the friendly circle. if so can i be your loyal servent? Mini Death

Hinata: -hugs- teehee Orochimaru: IIguhmehI love you so much-runs off with albumItachi: come here! Lemme see! Gaara: -eats cookieLee: gasp! Youre right! why did you bring it up?! gives Gaara his cookieGaara: -eats Lees cookieLucifel: -smacks self- sorry! Next chapter I promise! And no, women are allowed to. You want in? Sakura: ahem
1.Lee-You'll be glad to know I've given up on you. I'm into girls now. The bad news is I sold Gai-sensei to my friend. Her name is Somebody You Don't Know. She's a Lee fangirl... 2.Zakura-Want to go out with me? Most people say I'm pretty Take a look. -gives photo3.Luciful-Yes, I do mean what you said -hands sign-up list-JadeBird(formally LeesLover7)

Lee: No! I would have bought him from you! Why must you be so cruel?! dramatic poseGaara: -thinks- thats an interesting pose snickerLucifel: -signs up- YAYAYAY!! Zakura: WellahIve kinda got my eye on someone else-glances at hinata while Hina cries at Princess MonokeSakura: this isnt staying very G Lucifel: Hey so long as the language is clean, theres no blood, Zaku/Jira: so thats why I havent gotten any nosebleeds Lucifel: and no out-right sexuality. Thats G enough for me. Ita/Oro: ME TOO!!

for the remainder of the chapter, Kurenai must umm...umm... BREAKDANCE! Rock Lee must kiss umm... ZABUZA! And...Itachi must umm...Skip-to-his-loo! Jiraiya must only wear dresses! And then...Gaara must wear a ...a...NOTHING!

Kurenai: What?! Im not gonna dance! Zakura: Thems the rules. Sakura: At least youre wearing pants now. Kurenai: this is stupid. Im not doing it. Zakura: Kurenaiii Kurenai: you asked for it. -KURENAI BREAKS IT DOWN!!Kiba: Damn! I didnt know she could do that! Hinata: whoa Shino: =O Haku: If you Lee: -kisses ZabuzaZabuza: -twitchHaku: -twitch- Well FINE! If that boy if good enough for you why should I bother?! Zabuza: What are you talking about!? Haku: And here I though there was a problem because you wanted me to stay a girl! Little did I know Zabuza: Haku. Haku: Yes? Zabuza: I love you. No matter what gender. More than anything. Haku: Oh-blush- ok. hugsItachi: -skips to the bathroom- -comes back- Man, Deidara is doing some weird sugarbowl stuff in there with Sasori

Jiraiya: Isnt cross-dressing NOT G? Sakura: Um, hi? Bugs Bunny? In the dress, old man. Jiraiya: noo Kurenai: -does the worm-Gaaras clothes disappearLee: -blushGaara: EEP! hides under the coversKankuro: -smilesGaara: uhdingdong it. Kurenai: -spins upside downdare: Zakura, Sakura and Kurenai play jump rope with Orochi's tongue and as reward, i give Zakura the address to an Amazonian tribe(entire civilization of lesbians). I give Kurenaia 6 foot tall bunny made out of chocolate. I give Orochi a pic of the captain, Kaeru who is the smexiest! Nothing for sakura... Muninn: you want in the capt's pants! FP: so? it's just insects!!

Zakura: Youll have to break dance at the same time Kurenai. Kurenai: Oh dingdong Orochimaru: You can do this to my tongue! YOU CANT! Itachi: -grabs Oros tongue and make a jump rope- 123GO!!! -Sakura trips accidentally after ten jumps, Zakura makes it for twenty five and Kurenai goes to 136Orochimaru: I haff rug bun on ma tongue Itachi: Sorry. Kurenai: CHOCOLATE BUNNY!! devours bunny, ears firstZakura: Saweet! Saku, were going on a road trip after this. Sakura: I still think being gay isnt G-rated.

Zakura: Hey, I dont believe in making children think theres something wrong with it, k? you can shelter your own kids, I dont believe in that sugarbowl. Orochimaru: oooh-puts picture in the albumItachi: YAY! Ive been quoted again! Sakura: I hate the fans Zakura: thats not very nice. Sakura: Screw you.
amber: you know, i want to go to italy ill go see if dad will get me a ride there. although, its nice when your dad is super powerful. HT: can i go? amber: nope. get your own ride, bubblegum. HT: well, i feel sorry for you haku. i really do. kyana: you do? HT: HOLY CRAP!! AMBER JUST LEFT AND YOU COME BY!? WTF!? kyana: i know ^^ HT: ok, this is kyana, amber's neice and she can turn into a tiger... its cool. HT: which reminds me, im bored out of my mind, and i made bannana nut muffins. i made one for everyone in there, even kankuro. i wish you luck controlling him, cuz from my earlier expiriences i learned he goes insane from muffins. oh, zakura, i will give you a album of hinata in the shower. keep it a secret though. i stole this from my pervy friend. ENJOY!! ^^ kyana: i have a question for sakura, i want my hair pink, what dye did you use?

Orochimaru: Uh-oh, Kyuubi better run Itachi: Im just scared theyll team up Orochimaru: Oh funnybunny Haku: Dont feel sorry, Im happy now. Itachi: They make up so easily its sickening. Kiba: -hugs ShinoShino: What was that for? Kiba: I intended to do hot steamy things but it came out like thatdingdong G-rating -muffins appearKankuro: -sniff, sniff- Muffinsssss. Gaara: Ohsugarbowlohsugarbowl Kankuro: We wants itthe muffinsesGIVE IT TO US!! lunge-

Manda: -catch/swallowEveryone: That was easy Gaara: -gaping horror- KANKURO!!! Kiba: Man Im glad hes getting all the bad luck Gaara: -smacksfalls off bed- AH! hides againOrochimaru: Hey! I bet youre cute naked Gaara: -whimperSakura: My hairs naturalgosh Shikamaru: -shudderLucifel: I need to start making these longer some how, I dont know why theyre shorterI need more scenariosAnyway, I hope yall enjoyed this episode of Ask Sakura For the Kids See you next time! -GROUP HUG (becuz I said so)Orochimaru: Its G-rated ORGY!! Sakura: You cant say orgy in front of kids!!! Orochimaru: Yes I can! They wont even know what I mean! ORGYORGYORGYORGYORGY!!!! Jiraiya: eheheh Lucifel: And one last thing? WHAT IS UP FRUITS BASKET FANS?! I looked up random sexy boy/boy coupling and the only that got me anything remotely like shonen ai was HaruYuki! Cmon! So much potential and youre letting it go to waste! Whats wrong with you guys?! Anythats itbye all!!

Ask Sakura 28 Lucifel: Oh god! Im so late! Im sorry! It was finals! And I have rehearsal every night this week! I have to find subs for the work shifts Im skipping for this play, (which is Friday and Saturday at SLU theater if anyone(who lives in St. Louie)s interested :)) andandIm also very tired, so if this chapter is lacking my apologies but my brain is everywhere but fanfiction right now. Zakura: Dont think that means you all can get away with whatever you want!! Orochimaru: Aww, so no orgy? Zaku/Lucy: HELL YES ORGY!! Sakura: No! NO ORGY! Oro/Zaku/Lucy: AWWW.
Lee: YOSH! I do not want you to fall behind on your training, so with Lucifiel-chans permission, I'd like to attach a dojo to the room, if it works, a green door should appear, if the door is not green, then you'll end up at my house, and we can train anyhow. So, either way, it works! Everyone: The Satilete is -done-! Congrats! You all get to come along when Lucifiel-chan is done with you, meaning the moment she is, you get kidnapped, and brought up here! It's fully furnished, and we'll even have guest appreances. P.S. *Sends a bunch of plushies of eveeryone favorite character from Naruto to each person in there*

-door appearsLee: YOSH!! -LOUD BUZZER NOISEZakura: Lee, dont you remember? Lee: Remember what? Zakura: -smirks evilly and holds up eyelinerLee: Oh noes Zakura: muwahahaha

Everyone: Awww man! Orochimaru: At least we have plushies! huggles Jiraiya plushieJiraiya: thats just creepy. hides the two plushies of Tsunade and OrochimaruItachi, Deidara, Naruto, Gaara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi, Zetsu, Kisame, Zabuza, Haku, Kiba, Kyuubi and of course Lucifel! The bonus of this akatsuki is, everything is done to your desires, There is room filled with the necessary equipment for orgys and such, oh and a much better fashion sense. Oh and Dei-dei-chan, have you ever thoyght of being a model? gift baskets for all! June x

Zabuza: I dont do organizations. Haku: I just do whatever Zabuza-san does. Kiba: And gets done by him! Haku: but of course. Kiba: Its creepy when my comments dont offend in any way. Shino: Its creepy when you dont give me all sorts of attention. Kiba: MROW! pounceShino: Oh, before, we make out Kiba: BEFORE?! Shino: Are you gonna accept? Kiba: Well Shino; Because you know, I think men in evil organizations are extremely sexy. Kiba: -manic smile- ILL DO IT!! Orochimaru: Wouldnt that imply that you find Deidara-chan and Itachi-kun extremely attractive?? Shino: Did I ever say I didnt? Itachi: heh, awesome.

Deidara: SASORI!!! Sasori: WHAT?! Deidara: Are you gonna stay with the old or the new akatsuki? Sasori: yes, I definitely want to stay with that devil woman. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Deidara: Then Ill definitely join!! Sasori: Dei-chanforget it Deidara: -cuddlesSasori: -rolls eyesOrochimaru: Im joining! Invite me! Itachi: If I have time Naruto: NEVAR!!! Gaara: -sulksLee: Of course you do not invite me Zakura: Isnt he PERFECT?! Lee: Im the most imperfect person in the world -Lees jumpsuit is now black. He has heavy eye-liner and a tear drawn in the corner of his left eye.Zakura: Youll have to find a different way to ask the rest of those guys. Sasori: Ill call them. pulls out cell phone- Hello? Ah, put me on speaker. Do you guys wanna keep working for A.H.S. or take your chances with a new girl we might be able to overthrow? What, seriously? Oh shit. No, no, I dont blame you. Ok, yeah. Yeah Ill probably have took, see you later. What?! GodnoNO! Ugh fine. I love you guys too. hangs upEveryone: -snrrrrkSasori: SHUT UP! It only started when Tobi showed up

Lee: No one loves me. Gaara: -raises his sad, moping head to look skeptically at Lee- Sure soemoen does. Lee: like who? Gaara: -blush- Gai Lee: wellahwhatever Gaara: -sits next to Lee (hes got clothe son again, btw)- I dont like this version of you. Lee: Me neither. Gaara: Im gonna kill the person that made you like this. Lee: Whats one more death in a world full of it? Deidara: Hey WAIT! I designed these coats you know! Sasori: really? thanks a lot Deidara: Hmpf. I did model when I was younger. Sasori: Youre young as it is! Deidara: I wasa child model. Itachi: Ooooh, that explains a lot. Deidara: huh? Itachi: the grown-up models touched you didnt they? Deidara: So? I liked it. Itachi: oook, then Orochimaru: GIFT BASKETS!!!
...You people know there's like, four weeks left 'til Italy right? Kyuu-chan's living with me 'til then. *yells* HEY KYUU? Kyuubi: *climbs out of bed at 3:34 PM* Yeah? Writing a review now. Anything you want to say? Kyuubi: Ah, yes. *clears throat officially* I GET CHOCOLATE, HUGS, AND ICE CREAM TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN BITCHES! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, and I get to go to the beach all the time, cause she lives in Florida. A.K.A. : I PWN YOU ALL WITHOUT EVEN TRYING! ...That was...nice...Anyways, Sasu-chan and I are still not speaking. Help a poor, plot-deprived girl out? Sincerely,

Kryah P.S.- Any messages for my two tenants?

Zakura: If you can control him in your house, its cool with me. Naruto: Thats not fair! Hes living it up! Sakura: I actually prefer not having him here so Kurenai: I DONT! Everyone: o.O Kurenai: What? Itachi: A good plot can always be me getting it on with Sasuke. Orochimaru: And me! Lee: Why dont you just give up? Gaara: Thats it! You say one more emo thing and Im going rip your tongue out! Lee: Maybe I would die of blood-loss then Gaara: -slaps duct-tape over Lees mouthNeji: Thats not exactly what you said you would do Gaara: WellI decided I wanted him to keep his tongue. blushLee: -Mutters something through the tapeGaara: Lee, Im serious. Seeing you emo is the most disturbing thing Ive ever had to deal with. You say or do one more thing and Im going to have a break-down. Do you really want that?! Orochimaru: I do! Lee: -shakes headGaara: Good. sits next to Lee and hugs himSakura: Well, if Sasukes not talking to you then why dont you write about that? How it makes you feel? Kiba: Are you trying to make emo people!?

Sakura: NO! Kiba: yeah surewe know your evil scheme

Questions: Orochimaru, you use your tongue as a weapon against ninjas, pretty much all of whom are carrying blades of some sort. Aren't you afraid you'll accidentally get your tongue severed in a fight? Kiba, Shino, Hinata: For much of the show thus far, your entire team has worn heavy jackets... with shorts. WHY?! What kind of weather were you trying to prepare for?! Throws into the room... ah, you thought I would throw somebody into the room, didn't you?

Orochimaru: Ah, well, I actually have a special tea that I drink every morning and evening and it keeps my tongue coated in an invisible shell that will not ets any metal penetrate it!! Kabuto: Thats a lie. Orochimaru: It is not! How would you know?! Kabuto: Because I make all of your meals. Kimimaro: And how would your tongue stay flexible if you did that? Kabuto: exactly! Orochimaru: there are ways ok?! Sakura: Everyone: Orochimaru: Whats everyone staring at? Kimimaro: No kidding Gaara: -cries a little from the happinessSakura: HOW DID YOU GET BACK HERE?! Kabuto: Through that green door. Kimimaro: Damn convenient, really. Gaara: -runs over to Kimimaro, and hugs himKimimaro: -hugs backKabuto: Soyou really werent surprised or happy to see me at all, Orochimaru-sama?

Orochimaru: WellI dunno, I kinda forgot you were gone. Kabuto: -CRUSHEDItachi: I know one girly whos happy to see you back! pushes Sakura towards himSakura: Oh fuck you! I am not! smiles, smilesKabuto: -smiles too-Sakura and Kabuto go off to the couch (I made a couch) and talkZakura: So theyre backwhoop-de-fucking-do. Hinata: Well anyway, about my jacketI, uhwell I just really like my coat Shino: Its mysterious. I started the trend. Kiba: The hell you did. Shino: I did. Orochimaru: Aww, he didnt toss in anyone to kill!! Manda: Im glad he didntIm sick of swallowing people
Hey Zakura: if you integrated with Sakura wouldn't she have more of the backbone you say she is missing? I give Sakura and Hinata and Zakura -- tickets to 20/20 which has male strippers and a bar in one room and female strippers and a bar ain the next room. If there is no 20/20 where you are the tickets will transform into the closest appropriate place. Oh and fifty dollars in ones for each of you! asta

Zakura: Im not gonna be her backbone for her. Sakura: But youre a part of me! Kabuto: Let it go, kiddo. Sakura: Im not a kid! Kabuto: Ok, whatever Sakura: Want me to prove it?! Kabuto: -snicker- sure Sakura: -blush- I didnt mean it like that!

Kabuto: I know-snrrkZakura: oh sweet! One more pit-stop for the road-trip after this! Sakura: Oh god Hinata: O.O Kiba: I wanna go!! Shino: Yeah I bet you do Itachi: I just want the money Gaara/Kimi: -sit on the bedGaara: Howd you come back. Kimimaro: haha, Im not really sure. He really went through a lot to do it though Gaara: Soare you Kimimaro: No. He doesnt love me like that, and Im not the selfish type to ask him for it when he wouldnt be happythatd be to hard for me. drops headGaara: After doing all that? He doesnt Kimimaro: He felt he owed it to me. He cares about meI guessjust notnot like that Gaara: Doesnt that hurt you too? Kimimaro: -looks up, his eyes teary- Yes. Yes it does Gaara: -hugsLee: -who was still sitting besides the bed with duct tape over his mouth gets up and hugs tooJadeBird:Hello... Somebody You Don't Know:LEE-KUN! -hugs Lee and kisses cheekJB:-sweatdrop- I came to ask if Gaara would rather go out with Lee or kill Sasuke.. SYDK:Lee, as you know I now have Gai-sensei. So you have to make-out with me to get him back! JB:-gags-Anyway, I just wrote to say hi to Zakura-chan. -kisses Zakura on the lipsSYDK:I'm a straight girl...I'm a straight girl... JB:You keep telling yourself that...

Lee: ack. gets pulled into hug-

Gaara: Ummgo out with Lee-disbelief at stupid questionLee: ? pulls off duct tape- I already havecan I have him back now? Gaara: Youve WHAT?! Lee: Ummwell Gaara: Dear god Kiba; haha! Lees a slut too! Lee: Im not a slutI just want affection Gaara: -smacks- stop that. Neji: How did we get so many lesbian fans? Zakura: Dont know, dont care, just enjoyin it. kisses- oh, and now that Kimis back, I think he and Hinata should drink their pale green potions. Hinata: OhI dont want Kimimaro: What if it kills me again? Zakura: If its not deadly, after Hinata drinks it you have to, ok Kimimaro? Kimimaro: Fine. Zakura: So, Hinata drink. Hinata: But Zakura: Drink! Hinata: -starts drinkingKiba: what if it kills her?! Zakura: GAH NO!! -POOF OF SMELLY GREEN SMOKEHinata: UmmI feel fine

Everyone: -droolsHinata: What? looks in mirror (what? There was ALWAYS a mirror there!) GAH! Im a CAT!! -Indeed, she now has cat ears, a tail, whiskers and paws. The rest is still our cutie-pie favorite HinataZakura: There is a god Kiba: Shes be cuter if it was a dog-person Shino: -smacksKiba: What?! Hinata: Oh no-tries removing whiskers- oww Naruto: Whiskers are awesome! I wish I had some! Kiba/Neji/Shin/Jira: -.Orochimaru: Kimis turn!! Kimimaro: Butbut.. Orochimaru: DRINK!! Kimimaro: Geh. Orochimaru: -forces him to drink-POOFOrochimaru: KYAA!! SO CUTE!! Kimimaro: This is horribly humiliating-scratches earHinata: -flips tail- teeheethis is kind of fun
Deidara: strip for Orochimaru KIBA: Make out with Asuma! Hinata: HI! WHY IS NEJI A wh0re? HERE IS CHOCOLATE SODA 4 U! Shikamaru: YOU ARE A WOMAN P!MP! (dumps brown potion on him)

Deidara: For Oro? FOR EVERYONEyeah!! -Deidara does a sexy strip dance with a lot of pelvic rotations and thrusts and so-on-

Kiba: -trying not to let Shino see him looking- If I already did, I dont have to right? Shino: -twitchZakura: no, it doesnt count for you, because we hate you. Kiba: Uh, one that was TOTALLY hypothetical, and two why does everyone hate me?! Zakura: Because youre a prick. Kiba: Grr Shino: -glaresKiba: Anyway, Asumas not here so HA! Zakura: Hell come around eventually Im sure. Deidara: K, Im naked. All doneyeah-looks to see if Sasori was turned onSasori: -snoozeDeidara: -crushedHinata: II dont know. Neji: Because its FUN! Orochimaru: Hell yeah! Yay for whores! Neji: sure Hinata: Omgchocolate soda?! drinks- wooow Kurenai: Hinata-chanas your dearly beloved teacher you want me to try that soda as well, ne? Hinata: Of course! hands it to KurenaiKurenai: AHAHAHA! Its mine! MINE!! Hinata: Kurenai-sensei-puppy (er, kitty) eyesKurenai: -ahem- uh, I mean, thanks-hands back-

Haku: Isnt that fun, hinata-chan? Hinata: ? Shikamaru: -twitch- so now Im soaking wetgreat Zakura: It has to be ingested to workduh Shikamaru: -sulks off to the bathroomOrochi-sama: Yay! i am loved! What is your opinion of those half-snake poeple? (shifty eyes) Here! (gives more pics of sasuke) don't let anyone else see them k? Kiba: (stares)...DOGGY! (glomps) Gaara:(nosebleed) OMG TEH SEXYNESS! (holds bleeding nose) h-here..(hands some clothes) Everyone else: Have another tickel orgy plwease?? Mini Death

Orochimaru: Wait, why do I love you? receives pictures- Oh, I remember nowand theyre cool. I was one for a little bit. Pretty fucking awesome. Manda: Being all snake is better-burps and Kankuro can be heard screaming in his stomach- eugh, I burped up my food a little Gaara: Btw, did you know Kankuros face-paint is poisonous? Manda: Eww, no wonder he tastes so bad. spits him outGaara: -catches him- you ok? Kankuro: MUFFINSES!! WHERE DID THEY GO?! Gaara: -knocks Kankuro outKimimaro: Ummm Gaara: Its easier this way, trust me. Kiba: GACK! falls overGaara: I already got my clothes back but thanks-takes clothes- hey, I like these-puts on new clothesKimimaro: Theyre a little gay-looking Gaara: Whatever Orochimaru: Well, you heard her! pounces towards JiraiyaSakura: -trips- It was a request, not a command. Were doing no such thing.

Orochimaru: Well IM commanding it! Sakura: That would be Demanding it, and no. not again. Deidara: But I wasnt HERE for the last one Lee: And Of course I wasnt Gaara: Mother fucker, none more thing and Ill have you konked out and lying next to nii-san over there. Lee: -shuts upA.H.S: -Coughes lightly before CAKLING EVILY- KUKUKUKUKUKUPUDDINGKUKUKU! June. I only killed Tobi! You own Tobi!! As for the other Akatsuki...Well...You can have Deidara, Itachi and Sasori...I want the rest. And Sasori, when I get a hold of you I'mma take you apart and hide the peices all around the countries. Then I'll use your head to practice hairstyles on for the new baby! Hidan: WHAT?! YOUR KNOCKED UP?! A.H.S: Yes...o.o...That's the onloy reason I married Sasori...I wanted red headed babies...^_^ Itachi, Kakazu said he found a dress and make up in your room, do you cross dress or something? Sasori...IWANTAFUCKINGDIVORCE! Hidan: Ok...Other than the hair thing...why? A.H.S: -pouts and criesCAUSE DEIDARA DIDN'T WANT ME!

Lucifel: If you all are gonna have serious discussions about the akatsuki you better take this to PMs Itachi: Im totally gonna start free-lancing thoughif you can get Kisame out of wherever we left him Im sure hell go with one of you. Lee: We did leave him there, didnt we? Too bad I wasntugh-gets knocked outGaara: god, Im so sick of that. lies him on the bed next to KankySasori: DAMMIT!! I DONT WANT CHILDREN!! Deidara: Aww, Sasori-kun Sasori: No, I have to go kill that baby Deidara: NO!! holds him backSasori: Yeah, we can divorce! Just give me the kid! Deidara: Stop thatyeah! Sasori: Whatever Itachi: Umm, no DUH. Was in the European royalty dress or the girls kimono? Cuz I want the dress sent to me, I miss it.

Orochimaru: I want one!! Jiraiya: I wish you were still a woman. Orochimaru: So you wouldnt have to feel bad about that nosebleed? Jiraiya: -bluuush and blocks nosebleedDeidara: Of course I dont love you! You married Sasori, yeah! clutches to SasoriSakura, I hate your guts. You do know your big forehead is perfect for target practice, right? Shikamaru, you f-ing rock! Your my favorite char. other than Naruto and Hinata. Anyways, if you had to, who would you sleep with: Ino or Temari.

Itachi: Woahit is-pulls out KunaiSakura: Gah! No! stop it! hides forehead behind KabutoOrochimaru: Oh wow, that takes me back to the first grand ol days Sakura: They were never grand! Itachi: -throws kunaiSakura: ACK! dudges-kunai hit MandaItachi: Whoops Manda: -chases ItachiShikamaru: How would I HAVE to sleep with someone? Kiba: Just if you did Shikamaru: Temari, definitely. She wouldnt bitch and whine about anything Neji: But Inos prettier. Shikamaru: Well, first of all shes definitely not, and secondly Temari also seems like the type who would be willing to do most of the work. Kiba: that is horrible. Shikamaru: Im being forced, why should I work for it?
Danie: Oh and Sasori can definetely stay here if he wants too... It's cool with us.

Anjiru: Did you guys know that we've fallen in love with the pairing ItaKure?!?! We love it so much! We found an interesting story with the ItaKure pairing!! You should read it! Danie: You know, I envy the people who're getting married... can I get married too? Anjiru: Anyway, who do you guys hate the most? I may have an idea already.. but still!! I need it for blackm- I mean I just need to know. Danie:: And for gifts, just some food... More chocolate for Kurenai... But as usual, Sakura can't have any... -evil laugh- BTW, sorry for the shortness... You may have noticed that I prefer Kurenai over all you peops!! Anyway... that's it for today! Danie & Anjiru: Buhbye from the frap pool! From the frap pool, Danie & Anjiru

Sasori: Ive been sitting here with Dei-chan and they havent even noticed Deidara: Uh-oh -Deidara gets kicked out of the frap roomDeidara: NOOO! Yeah. Kurenai: WITH WHAT PAIRING?! Itachi: Ewwbut shes a woman. Kurenai: WITH WHAT PAIRING?! Jiraiya: That is ridiculous! How could anyone dare! Kurenai! I am here to ease away the bruises on your egogets smashed by a skillet- Itai Zakura: Get engaged first, kiddo. Hell, propose to one of these saps Itachi: NOO! Zakura: Oh, bug off, they want you with Kurenai. Itachi: Oh yeah Kurenai: NOO!! Zakura: I hate Sakura. Sakura: I hate you! Zaku/saku: -glaring contestSakura failsOrochimaru: I hate sarutobi-sensei. Jiraiya: -frowns- I dont hate anyonenot really. Im too old to hate.

Kurenai: Im not. glares at itachiGaara: I hate the fans. Lee: -in his unconscious state- I hate everyone Gaara: Shut up you. Kimimaro: I always really hated Sakon and Ukon. Kabuto: Oh hells yes. And Sasuke. Naruto: OROCHIMARU!! Orochimaru: yes? Naruto: -.Neji: Hinatas dad. Hinata: Awwanoprobably Kyuubi-san because he makes Narutos life so hard Naruto: You shouldnt hate for me, Hinata. Hinata: -blushItachi: I hate the Uchihasoh, theyre dead! Yay me! Kiba: I agree with Kimimaro! Shino: I hate Ino. Kiba: Huh, really? Shino: -nodsHaku: I dont hate anyone. smilesZabuza: I hate everyone who would dare hurt Haku. Zakura: Not many are that stupid Shikamaru: Sasuke. Neji: Just cuz he wont screw you

Shikamaru: -glaresNeji: fine, whatever. Deidara: I HATE A.H.S.!! Sasori: ME TOO!! Orochimaru: I dont! Deidara: No one asked you Manda: Everyone. hisssKurenai: -sits with chocolate happilyHot damn, just WHO is straight, now? I'm not sure Sakura would count, anyways.. Damn, why do people insult Orochimaru-sama and Jiraiyasama lots?! I mean, they're so freakin' awesome! And smexy for their age!. -throws some random candy in the room- Candy. Yay! Oh, and here's a chocolate cake! ...Well, you all better like chocolate! Naruto-kun: A, you're really, really cute, yesh? Well, here's lots of Ramen for you! And anyone else can only eat it if you give them permission. Well, enjoy it! -mutters- I really, really like you and-... -blushUm, I said nothing, really! -Meow Meow Luna

Naru/Saku/Manda/Kure/Hina: -raise handsZakura: Five peoplethats too many. Itachi: Definitely. Kiba: A lot of us are bi though! Shino: -ahemKiba: -cuddlesOrochimaru: YEAH! WE ARE! Jiraiya: HELL YEAH! Sakura: For your AGE, and you guys are OLD! Jiraiya: At least unlike Oro and Tsunade I dont use anything to hid my real appearance! Lucifel: You still look twice my moms age and shes almost fifty Naruto: -snicker-

Jiraiya: WHAT?! Naruto: Nothing -ITS RAINING CANDY!!Everyone: YAY!! -soon everyone had gorged themselves on candy and lie with horrid stomach achesNaruto: yay! Ramen! Sakura: Arent you FULL!? Naruto: Nah Kiba: Uh-oh, looks like youve got another admirer! Naruto: Who was the first? Everyone: -face-palmZakura: Welcome to the fandom Meow meow! Gaara: I hate you too. Zakura: Stop that.
aww sakura, sorry to hear that you hate me but don't worry, i won't take it personally...infact, i'm gonna give you an entire crate full of papayas. they should really help cause according to the asians' beliefs, they help with breast growth which you really need seeing as how you have none AT ALL! Deidara:-gives play oh- i feel your pain...-looks longingly at Kaerulucifel:-gives froggie plushie- a token of appreciation, O fair one. Frog princ3

Sakura: WellI guess it couldnt hurt Van Flyheight: PAPAYAS!!! Runs in and jumps face-first into the crate of papayas.Zeke: ROAR!! Follows VanKiba: -pulling Van out of Papaya crate- Where did you come from!? Van: No matter where I am, no matter who Im with, I have a sixth sense for finding Papayas. They call to me! And I must heed the beckon!! Zeke: ROWR! :) Van: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Zakura: -drags the laughing Van and Zeke to a window and tossesVan: WAIT! Grabs window-ledge- At least let me take the papayas!! Zakura: GO AHEAD!-drops crate on him sending him crashing downdowndownSakura: My papayas! Zakura: those things dont work. What you need is some hormonally-improved milk. Naruto: I think I had some of that Zakura: no, that was rotten milk. Kiba: Same thing, really. Deidara: Ooh! Play doh! Starts making fancy things with playdohLucifel: Oh prince, my prince, how sweetly you do minister to love, to know how much I love frog plushies. Starry eyesZakura: Gag me with a fork
OMG YOUR RIGHT!! i hope she doesnt destroy anything important... *somewhere amber is destroying life in italy as we know it* kyana: NO FUSKING WAY THAT IS NATURAL YOU WHINEY PINK HAIRED BITCH! HT: oh boy... i'll go get cain... kyana: he cant calm me everytime i see HI CAIN-KUN!! i luv you... HT: told you. anyway, CAN I BE YOUR SLAVE TOO LUCIFEL!? Sasuke: whered amber go? HT: sasuke! you returned! sasuke: what the hell is a little bitch and her supposed bf doin here? HT: be nice emo... kyana: wah! cain-kun!! he called me a bitch! sasuke: im leaving... *leaves* HT: i miss him again... oh, i have a question for everyone! if you were an animal what would you be? kyana: *whispers* and who's had better sex with sasuke? im curious. ^^

Kyuubi: (while lounging in a beach chair with Kryah splashing around in the background) If that bitch destroys Italy without me there Im gnna be PISSED. Sakura: Well it is, ok?! We already went over this!! Shikamaru: And how many times do we have to bring it up-shudderKiba: Dear god she could start her own column with all her split personalities Shino: Dont give her ideas Orochimaru: Sasukes such a slut, running from home to home like that.

Lucifel: Of course! I love slaves! teeheeKiba: Id be a dog!! Shino: a tick. Itachi: can we please just skip the rest of the obvious ones. Glares at the sanninOrochimaru: Xp Itachi: Anyway, Id be a leopard or a crow or somethingdark and sneaky. Orochimaru: And sexy! Jiraiya: Please dont ever imply bestiality again Sakura: Id be a Zakura: Hippo. Sakura: -glares- no, a butterfly, because I go through many stages, becoming more lovely everytime! Zakura: Oh god, whatever. Id be a tiger, because I kick ass. Kurenai: I have no clue! Jiraiya: I think shed be a dog or cat or something Kurenai: Are you saying Im DOMESTICATED?! Jiraiya: No, never. Deidara: Im a cat cuz Im sneaky Naruto: Id be a dragon! Sakura: Realistically, Naruto! Come on! Naruto: Ohthen I guess a fox cuz theyre always surprising you Neji: Well, Ive always wanted to be an eel Kiba: Because youre slippery and into other eels we get it.

Neji: oh fuck you. I think theyre awesome. Kiba: Seriously, an eel?! Neji: Whatever! Hinata: Id want to be a sparrowbecause they can fly and theyre so pretty and cute Zakura: youre already cute Gaara: The most horrible and evil creature you can think of? Yeah, not even close. Kimimaro: In a bad mood? Gaara: whyever would I be? Kankuro: but he LOOKS like a raccoon. Gaara: Who said you could wake up? Kankuro: -shrugsGaara: Why did you leave anyway?! Didnt I leave you and Temari in charge?! Kankuro: You did, and I left her in charge, shell handle everything better without me anyway. Gaara: Yeah, I guess shes pretty trustworthy Meanwhile: Temari: WHOOO LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!! And Temari and 500 of her closest friend through a party all of the capitol building of suna Gaara: yeah, I trust her Zakura: So, last question. Kimimaro: but not everyone Zakura: dont care. Itachi: Im pretty sure mine was the best.

Orochimaru: Eh, I wont argue. Neji: Its pretty amazing being on the bottom of him Itachi: Sure, whatever
Zakura: 40,0,0,0,0,0 pounds of Swiss cheese itachi: 80,0 pounds of Heineken beer Kyuubi: Can i catch you as a pokemon you'll become good friends with my Dialga(I really have one) Itachi: Drink all the beer I gave you Hey Sasuke I thought I killed you Sasuke: Nope I drank that potion in your room that said sulphuric acid But...hahaha Sasuke: I feel melty

Zakura: Ummcheese? Kiba: DUDE! CHEESE!! Jumps at cheeseCheese: Yes? Kiba: Whats with all the cross-overing?! Cheese: I like cross-dressing!! Everyone: -twitchZakura: -throws Cheese out the windowCheese: -as he falls- I LIIIIKE THIS GAME!! Itachi: Sweet! Alcohol! Ohbut I dont like beer Kyuubi: No! What the fuck is a Dialga? Lucifel: Any pokemon past the first 151 (plus Togepi and Marill) are bullshit pokemon. Kyuubi: Exactly. Itachi: Awww dammit. drinksand drinksand drinks-fifteen minutes laterItachi: AH! Tha wash refweshing-falls on KibaOrochimaru: HOW DARE YOU MELT SASUKE! Itachi: He-hic-hes fine Im shur

OK moving on now... Anyway, since I feel unloved for the lack of good presents (with the exception of dinner @ a japenese restaurant, and Lucifel-chan's bday suprise) I demand belated birthday presents!! Gifts include but are not limited too, sex GIFT TIME Hinata-chan: some cupcakes, you're very own two bedroom house and a portable generator. Cause you're so cute and I want to have you as my pet. Question Time Kurenai: How do you deal with all the sexual frustration of not being around Gai? Now that I think about it, there's always Gai's youthful clone Lee...

Zakura: How about a punch in the mouth? Orochimaru: I send you a specially made stimulation machine! Deidara: -finishes making massive playdoh stork statue- ohwell, happy birthday. Gives statue- yeahoh, and sex if you want. Itachi: I want! Sasori: HA! And you say you were loyal! Deidara: I only turn to him because OTHERS arent paying any attention to me! Hinata: Oh wowcupcakes Kurenai: -.- ok Kiba: Can I have one?! Hinata: sure! Haku: Me too!! Hinata: yay! Kiba: Doesnt the pet thing creep you out? Hinata: -looks suspiciously at cupcakeKurenai: Dont be perverted! Kankuro: Aww, hes pretty cute. Gaara: -twitchKankuro: -looking down at sleeping Lee- I mean hell Id probably Gaara: -punches Kank in the face-

Kankuro: -passes outShikamaru: Hes really weak Kiba: Well, he was beaten by a bunch of bugs Shino: -punchesomfg Sasuke not gay :[ *gets shot for being a sasusaku fan*

Zakura: -pulls out missile launcher- this is aiming forohevery Sasu/Saku fans house Sakura: Gah! Thats my house to! Zakura: And? Sakura: All my stuff is there! Zakura: So? Sakura: Youll blow up the stash! Zakura: Aww, fuck youre right. Puts away missile launcherKabuto: What stash? Sakura: Nothing
Hinata - apparently ur uncle hizashi touched u? IS THAT TRUE? to any one of u nutjobs- this is more of an advice question, i like this guy, nd he sees me as like a best friend, but trouble is, he's going out with this reli popular girl hu's also my friend. wot should i do? deidara - (d2 plays avril lavigne's "girlfriend")so any ways? U thought about it?? -bats the eyes-

Hinata: -blush- NO! Thats horrible! Of course not! Orochimaru: He did, didnt he? Hinata: -whispers- hai Neji: -twitchKurenai: -pulls out dual-wielded skillets- oh, hes going DOWN. Itachi: okokok, heres what you do. By strategic use of sheep, kill and destroy the body of said popular girl, then, be there to support him when he finds out, take advantage of him in a weak situation and get in his pants! Sakura: Thats horrible!

Zakura: Eww, youre friends with a popular girl? Sakura: Shut up. What you should really do, and the only thing you can do, would be to be the best friend you can to him. When he realizes how great you are Itachi: Assuming you are. Sakura: WHEN he realizes then hell gently let the other girl down and come to you. Or, youll be there to support him when they eventually break up. The more support you show him the more likely you are to get his attention in that special way! HEY! HEY! YOU! YOU! I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend Hey hey, you you I know that you like me No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend Lucifel: Couldnt resistblame her Deidara; But youre a girl, yeah? Itachi: Thatwas the best song ever Orochimaru: HELL YEAH! Oro/Ita: Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious And hell yeah I'm the motherfuckin' princess I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right (know I'm right, know I'm right, know I'm right) She's like so whatever You can do so much better I think we should get together now And that's what everyone's talking about KYAA! SO FUN!!
hehe Jiraiya-sama in a dres*snaps picture* that's a keeper. Hinata-chan, when are you planning on telling him? and Sakura, just cuz I enjoy doing this * hands Sakura album of Sasuke-teme making out w/ Oro*

Jiraiya: gah! No! Get rid of those pictures! Orochimaru: Or give me!! Hinata: Tellingwhowhat? Ihavenoideawhatyouretalkingabout! Hides behind KurenaiNaruto: Ne, Hinata, why dont you tell me? I can keep a secret! Kiba: Not cool Shino: -snicker- look at her blush Sakura: AAAAGH! Get rid of this! ThrowsKabuto: -destroysSakura: thanks. Kabuto: Anytime. Sakura: Its ALMOST nice to have you back. Kabuto: And Im ALMOST enjoying it. Kimimaro: Im enjoying it! Gaara: -smileLucifel: And thatll about wrap up my incredibly late update. But I am in a play, and officially done with finals so huzzah! Next Monday, on time, I promise. I love you all! Im surprised I didnt get more angry UPDATE PMs. Oh, and also, Ask Sakura is now rated M, good idea ne? Muffin something or other suggested it. Orochi and Itachi have something to say before we go: Oro/Ita: Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend Hey hey, you you I know that you like me

No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend You're so fine I want you mine You're so delicious I think about you all the time You're so addictive Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright? (feel alright, feel alright, feel alright) Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious And hell yeah I'm the motherfuckin' princess I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right (know I'm right, know I'm right, know I'm right) She's like so whatever You can do so much better I think we should get together now And that's what everyone's talking about [Chorus] Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend Hey hey, you you I know that you like me No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend I can see the way I see the way you look at me And even when you look away I know you think of me I know you talk about me all the time again and again (again and again, again, again) So come over here and tell me what I want to hear Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again (and again and again and again)

'Cause she's like so whatever And you could do so much better I think we should get together now And that's what everyone's talking about [Chorus] Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend Hey hey, you you I know that you like me No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend Oh In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger 'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinkin'? Oh In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger 'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinkin'? [Chorus] Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend No way, no way Hey hey, you you I know that you like me No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend

No way, no way Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend No way, no way Hey hey, you you I know that you like me No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend No way, no way Hey hey I want to be your girlfriend, copyright of Avril Lavigne. Im obsessed with that song. And Im a dork XD

Ask Sakura 29 Lucifel: Im sick today. Things may go wonky because of that. In fact, hell, lets give today a theme: Surrealism. And suddenly the room was upside down, and right-side uppeople leave after-images behind them as they walk in circles up walls, and those images go chasing after melting butterflies that go sky-diving off the backs of elephants. Zakura: I hate sick fan-fiction authors. Kiba: siht skcus. TIMMAD!! Shino: Why are you speaking backwards Kiba? The words take solid form and fall out of his mouth, landing painfully on his toes- OWW!! Lucifel: In other news, Loyalty Eternal is actually UPDATED and I have a Crucible Fanfiction up if anyones read that -At the word crucible several hangmans nooses fly up from the floorHinata: Here is more chocolate soda...32 tons of it! U R special. Orochimaru: U R SPECIAL! Have a really horny picture of Jiraiya drunk in a stripper bar (hands over) BYE! LOVE YOU ALL, Except Kiba P.S.: Here's Asuma (hands him over)

Hinata: Yay meow! Uh-ohwhy am I meowing meow? Kimimaro: Thats weird Im not-turns into entirely a cat- Oh shit Orochimaru: Oooh-picture comes to life- Well Jiraiya: Geh! Get rid of that! Tries to push it out a window, but it slips through his fingersKiba: YEH! Stahw gnorw htiw em?! Shino; Wellfor one youre talking backwards-flinches but no letters fall this time, but on of the butterflies lands in his hair and melts all over his face-

-Asuma appears wearing a bat-man costumeKiba: Mmmmu Asuma: I definitely wasnt just role-playing with Kakashi! Kiba: -chtiwt- od I evah ot ekam tuo htiw mih?! Zakura: Yup. Kiba: Nmad. -They make outDanie: Well, I have to get engaged. Gotta pick someone without a partner yet Hm Anjiru: Or, you can just take someones partner! Danie: Hey, Naru-chan do you know that I killed you? I wrote a fic about it. The titles His Funeral hands you the fic Anjiru: Hinata-chan, why wont you confess? Hes gonna die soon, you should really confess or else someone might beat you to him! Danie: Can I get engaged with Kabuto? Anjiru: No, he likes Sakura, remember? Naruto isnt straight! I saw a fic that had you and Sasuke making out behind a tree! Sakura even saw you and is planning to blackmail Sasuke! Danie: Can I get engaged with Kimimaro? Anjiru: Dunno, ask Lucifel-chan and Zakura-sama. Danie: Please? Anyway, thats all for now! Oh, and please if anyone has the time, read my newest fic, His Funeral especially you Naruto! Danie & Anjiru

Naruto: Gah! Whyd you do that?! Sakura: Its just a fic, Naruto! Naruto: So is this Sakura: Oh yeah Kabuto: I dont like Sakura! His nose grows longer- Aww shit. Hinata: I have nothing to confess meow! Kimimaro: I dont like having four legs Gaara: -scratches his earsKimimaro: Except this, I like this. Naruto: Just cause I kissed Sasuke in a fic doesnt mean I did it in real life! Sakura: but you did-glowers at the memorywhich appears clearly in a thought bubble above her head-

Naruto: that was an accident!! Sakura: Sure, whatever Zakura: If you can convince Kimimaro to marry you, be may guest. Gaara: -while sunflowers grow out of his ears- but that would be bestiality Zakura: Whatever floats their boat Orochimaru: I will take their boat down!! Gaara: Thatd be necrophilia too -A zombie walks out of the bathroom and starts doing a jigMuninn: Hi everyone. Froggy P is a little busy right now so we brothers will be taking over. Huginn: Now that Frogster's a father, he's letting go of all his harem members. Muninn: Anyways, welcome back Kimi and Kabuto! Kabuto, do you watch Kamen Rider Kabuto or any other of the Rider series? Huginn: Lee I dare you to be Gaara's personal slave for a day. BWAHAHAHA! Oh look, Frogster's done. F.P: Ok, i wanna introduce someone and anyone who even thinks bout hurting/doing dirty stuff to her will be burned to a crisp by a pillar of fire! ROWR!! -sweet voice- Baby, Ashlynn, say hi to mommy and all her friends. A cute little girl dressed in an angel outfit appears behind F.P. Ashlynn: hwello, ev-eve-peepoles -huggles Lucifel- Mommy! F.P: aw...anyways, here's a tadpole plushie for Lucy since you like the frog one so much -wink-

Lucifel: Awww, thats responsible of him. Neji: Whos kid does he have? Zakura: the one from Gaaras Valentines Day. Gaara: My what? Question marks float around his headKankuro: you know heart-day, kissy-kissy, annual-singles-awareness-celebration. Gaara: Who told you that you could get up yet? Kankuro: Ummno-one Gaara: -knocks him out with a hammer that suddenly appears in his hand- ok Zakura: See, there she is! Neji: He puts his kid in an angel costume? Kiba: taht sdnous a elttil detrevrep ot em.

Lucifel: -huggles daughter and tadpole plushieLee: Personal servant? I could never stoop so low! Gaara: Wanna go get me a frap? Lee: sure!! Gaara: Who needs to dare when hes so easily manipulated?
Naruto: Hey, Naruto! Here's some ramen! *Hands him a bunch of ramen* And did you know that you look almost excatly like the Yondaime? It's true! Mabye he's your dad?...I must find out! *Sets off on a quest to find out* Shikamaru: I've got two things for you: One! When you were locked in the -other- room, you made out with Ino, and when you got out, you dated her for awhile, what happened? Two! You're probuly going crazy without being able to look at the clouds, so I add a skylight to the new Dojo through the green door! *Snaps fingers, and a skylight appears in there* Lee: YOSH! Lee, my youthful friend, I dare you to never be emo again, as it will drain away your youth! To make up for this, I beleive that when you get ut, after our race, we should race around Konoha 100 more times to make up for ever being emo.

Naruto: Ive almost got as much ramen as Itachi and Gaara have fraps!! Gaara: -sips frapwhich then sprouts legs and runs away screaming- I wonder who got the better deal there Naruto: Huhlet me know if you find anything out!! Shikamaru: You have ramen for a brain dont you? Naruto: That would be awesome! I could my own brain! his head opens and his brain runs away with the frappuccinoShikamaru: you saw nothing in that other story Kiba: Akihs Shikamaru: Whatever. It was a mistake. Kiba: I teb ti saw Shikamaru: Yeahoh god, where did that door go? Kiba: -points up-The door is taking part in a musical on the ceilingLee: That we shall my youthful friend! A noble idea!!

Wooh, I got Deidara and Sasori in my new Akatsuki! Naru-Chan are your whiskers a side effect of Kyuubi, Birthmarks, or scars? Question for Everyone: What stereotype are you eg. Goth, Emo, Punk, Grunge, Chav, Preppy, Townie, Gangsta or Slut? Kisses to Lucifel, Gift Baskets to Kimmi, Naru, Dei, Saso, Tachi and Gaa-chan! June x

Sasori: -while trying to keep the pieces of his body-parts that keeps randomly detatching from floating away- yes, yes, very pleased to be with you Deidara: -steals a floating earZakura: Since Im the only honest one Ill say it all: Narutos your stereotypic unlikely hero, Sakuras a prep, Orochimarus a slut, Itachis a fag, Hakus an airhead, Zabuzas the best stereo-typed bad-but-good guy youll ever see, Nejis a slut, (duh) Kibas kind of a jock I guess, Shinos a goth with make-up, Deidaras a prep as well, Kurenais a single career-oriented woman, Hinatas one of those artsy lonely kids, Kabutos a nerd, so is Kimimaro, Gaaras an emo, Jiraiyas a pervert, Lees also a jock, Shikamarus also a nerd. And Im a bitch. Anyone disagree? Orochimaru: Nope! :D Sakura: Yes! Zakura: Great, moving on Jiraiya: Why are we all dressed in our stereo-types general clothing style? Zakura: UmmI dont care. Sakura: thats because YOU look cool! I dont! tries to pull off preppy sweaterZakura: Hey, at least by liking a nerd you kind of kill a stereotype. Kabuto: I dont appreciate the I love my NPCS t-shirt Kimimaro: At least youre not wearing a collar with a chess piece dangling off of it. Zakura: So, gift baskets and lets move.
Anyway: Gives Shikamaru a 20-in-1 pack of board games from the U.S. and Japan, including Shogi, Go, Monopoly, Chess, so on and so forth. Gives Orochimaru a set of spiked rings to wear on his tongue for battle and... anything else. To everybody: drops a king-sized jet black potion in the middle of the room. It holds seven servings of potion, it's cool to the touch, and it's labeled in an otherworldly language THAT'S NOT FUCKING ELVISH because we're all tired of elvish. Of course, these gifts all have to be approved...

Shikamaru: Nicewho wants to play me?

Itachi: no one, Shikamaru. Youre too damn good. Only Asuma would but he disappeared through the green door and hasnt been back yetalthough I think I saw his beard dancing with a banana a little bit ago Orochimaru: Hey, Shika, Ill play with your gift if youll let me play with mine! Shikamaru: Thats ok.reallybesides, the monopoly pieces are busy playing Go with the Chess Set. -Potion drops into the room. The glass shatters but the liquid stays in place.Haku: Ill drink it! Zabuza: -catching him- No you wont. Orochimaru: -licks it- huhtastes like licorice Kiba: MUY! Shino: down boy.
JB: kisses Zakura long and hardSYDK:-starts screamingJB:-chuckles- Anyway, since she's being a moron again, I tell her message...Lee, she decided that she's going to starve Gai-sensei unless you make out with her again... SYDK:-still screamingJB: STOP THAT! SYDK:-silent-

Zakura: Yay kisses! A mouth floats into the room and kisses ZakuraLee: NOO! GAI-SENSEI!! Gaara: you better make out with her then. Kimimaro: Why are you ok with this? Gaara: Because it gives me an excuse to KILL. At the word kill lots of ladybugs, rainbows and butterflies and flowers appear around Gaara- Well, that killed the effect
A.H.S:. -A dark shadowy figure appears beside her and drops his bags- Morana...What did you do? A.H.SGulps and smiles- Hiya pops! Leader: ...Where the hell are my bitches? A.H.S: Umm...Places? -coughesA.H.S: -runs away- Leader: -Cough- While she's gone. Sasori...I need to have a word with you about knocking up my daughter. So here's her list of things: Oro: She loves you! And she gives you this Uchihacest album for not hating her. Itachi, WTF?! -Throws the dresses at- Issues! -shuder/gags- Sasoriteme: -Tosses a stack of papers at- Sign these. And she will not get rid of the baby. I need little minions/ grandbabies!!

Zakura: Dude, we keep meeting more family of the fans -A cow and t-rex walk by in wedding-garments-

Orochimaru: YAY! Incest! Itachi: yee! I wanna see my work! gasp!- but first! Dresses!! goes and gets changed into dragSasori: -trying to ignore Itachi in a dress- Im not signing these! I refuse to acknowledge that child! Kiba: taht si gniog ot eb eno dekcuf pu dik. Shino: Ayep. Sasori: She can have Tobis kids! Theres hair-dye for a reason! Deidara: If I was a woman and got knocked up, would you let me keep your baby, yeah? Sasori: NO! I want no children at all!! Deidara: Aww
Since Kyuubi got to go on a vacation to Italy, could u let itachi go with me on a cruise to the Caribbean next Tuesday, come back Sunday. Oh and Kisame has to go with. Oh yea question: Hinata, how did it feel to beat up Neji in the Chunnin exams?

Zakura: Naw, we already said it was a one-time thingyou can take Kisame though. -A shark swims by, with a flower pot on its backItachi: But I wanna go Zakura: Too bad, so sad. Moving on. Hinata: Mostly it was painful, meow. But, I did learn a lot about myself. Meow. I can be really proud of that moment. Neji: And I personally was a little turned on. Hinata: 0.o
Orochimaru: Why haven't you had a seamy smex scene with Jiraiya? Zakura: Here (hands naughty pics of all women in Konoha other than sakura) Hinata: (pets) you look adorible with cat ears! (hugs) Everyone: You guys looked bored so i got to this! (give a PS2 and the game DDR and to dance pads) have fun guys! Mini Death

Orochimaru: Its not my fault! I WANT to have steamy sex! Believe you me! Jiraiya: so do I!

Orochimaru: Really?! Jiraiya: Just not with you. Itachi: Burn. Zakura: Busy watching as the pictures flutter off the page and do cartwheels with the melting butterflieswhich have now stopped melting and are instead changing colors. Hinata: ummpeople are petty memeow. Neji: Id like to pet you Kiba: kconk ti ffo ijeN!! Neji: Im sorry, I dont speak idiot. Naruto: Hey! Kibas smarter than me! Neji: meaning what? Naru/Kiba: HEYYEH!! Deidara: ZOMG!! DDR!! Orochimaru: Holy crap, takes you back to the old akatsuki days, dont it?! Itachi: I will kick your asses! For I am the dance master!! Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, and Orochimaru play DDRon flying dance mats that keep sprouting facial featureand the arrows are made up of monkey-tails
Hey Zakura-sama, do u remember when u where still inside Sakura-san ( the wrongness of that statement) and she said that being around him was so bad she would never get hot for any1? Was that u or her? Sakura-san: now if u had the choice would u bang Naruto-kun, Kabuto, or Deidara-san? * Drops muffin basket on Kakuro-san's lap*

Zakura: That was my sense of humor, for sure. We werent so separate then, so its hard to really tell. And Id pick, Dei cuz hes the girliest. Naruto: SA not ZA, now lets hear what she says. watches intentlySakura: UmmNaruto because hed have the most respect for me. Naruto: BOOYA!!

Sakura: But then againKabuto has more experienceso it might be more enjoyable. Kabuto: admit it, you just wanna shag me. Sakura: Whatever. Kankuro: I SMELL MUFFINS!! -the muffins start doing an interpretive dance.Kankuro: Eeepwhy are the muffins dancing?! Gaara: Wouldnt you like to go back to sleep and forget this horror? Kankuro: -hiding from muffins- Yes Gaara: -borrows Kurenais skillet- Good.
ye im friends wif a popular girl! GET OVER IT! orochimaru - u ever heard of haku kazetari? he looks a hell lot like you. to any one of you nutjobs but preferably kiba - my split dk321 is getting a dog, she wants to know which is the best species.

Itachi: but popular kids SUCK. Me. Seriously. And they werent any good. Neji: I dont know, Sasukes popular Itachi: Well, heh, he doesnt count. Orochimaru: No, I havent heard of him. This is like that Voldemort thingIm going to kill him. Kabuto: You dont even know him! Orochimaru: is that supposed to make me care? Kiba: em. MI eht tseb god reve. Shino: sure you are, love. Personally, I say get a mutt. Purebreds have problems because of incest. Sideways glance at ItachiItachi: Must I say it? Orochimaru: I think so. Itachi: Its JUST incest!
To Hinata and 'Kaa-san: You 2 are the winners for my presents competition. I loved the thought of a nekoHina-chan. As such you 2 get 1 GIANT cake of your favorite flavor EACH. And it's just for you!

Mwahahahahahaha Itachi: I dare you to go an entire chapter without referring to yaoi or anything sex-related. Manda: How can you raise your hand when you don't have any? Jiraiya: who would you rather have sex with, Tsunade or Orochimaru?

Hinata: yee!! I want chocolate and strawberries!! Meow!! Lucifel: Spice cake with caramel icing. Mmmm. Itachi: ButIcantI meannooo Zakura: Too bad, thems the rules. Itachi: What will I SAY?! Zakura: Figure it out. Manda: Imanaged. Orochimaru: Ive learned to never question him. Jiraiya: Id prefer to have threesome. droolshis drool makes a river that flowers bloom beside1. what does everyone prefer: muffins (blueberry, bananer nut, or otherwise) or mushrooms (edible, poisonous, or otherwise)? 2. MAFIN NO JUTSU! (muffin technique) ~assorted muffins appear out of nowhere~ in there should be a chocolate muffin for Kurenai. there are also several frappuccino-flavored muffins. If Kankuro touches a muffin he will...um...something bad will happen to him... -The Muffinator 3 PS: hi Kryah! ~waves frantically~ PS: ~pulls out viola and starts playing "Can-Can"~

Itachi: Great, a musical fan. One of the muffins starts crying at the music. The shark explodes in slow motion. Zakura: I dont care what everyone else likes, I want lemon poppyseed. Orochimaru: I prefer buns teehee. Itachi: I have no issue eating all of these muffins on my own in that case. Lee: You shall not! Those muffins are for all!! Muffins: Please dont eat us -puppy-eyesNeji: Well thatsdisturbing.
JB: Anyway, I have a "present" -winks- for Naruto.-makes Naruto drink azure potion through a funnel gagSYDK:WOW! SHE'S TORTURING SOMEBODY AND IT'S NOT ME!

Naruto: AAAH!! the potion leaks out his eyesSakura: What are you doing to Naruto! Haku: -tatses potion- apparently forcing blue-raspberry cool-aid down his throat.. Naruto: Cool-aid?! -drinks happilyAnyways, uh...What was that Dog Trainer's address again Kiba-san? Sasuke: -from another room- YOU ARE NOT TAKING ME TO A TRAINER!! I WAS HERE FIRST DAMMIT!! -yells back- IT'S NOT JUST FOR YOU, YA STUPID MOFO! Kyuubi: As you freaks can CLEARLY see, they're still fighting. -smirks- But this time, it's about me! Sasuke: Damn right it is! He ate my frickin' tomatoes, stole my candy, and left the damn coffe pot on! Kyuubi: Not to mention Kryah loves me more! Sasuke: She does not! I'M her muse. Not you, Mr. Flea-Bitten-Mutt! ...So, about that trainer Kiba-san? Or a counselor? Or, Hell, ANYBODY? Sincerely, Kryah P.S. Hi Muffinator! -waves back-

Lucifel: Oh KryahI love you Naruto: Damn you Kyuubi!! Kyuubi: -the words damn you Kyuubi get spelled out in the clouds- Well that doesnt bode well Kiba: llew, ym mom lives in Konohayou can find her easily, everyone knows where we live. Shino: youre speaking normallyI think this place is fixed Kurenai: uh-oh -The black potion spread over everythingEveryone becomes much hornier. Orochimaru; If I had known that was a horny potion this chapter would have been a lot more interesting!! Lucifel: As it stands, I dont like this chapter. Its short and un-funny except for crying muffins and beards dancing with bananasIm sorry guys. No more writing while Im sick, I promise. -A sushi parade marches byLucifel: I needs sleep.

Ask Sakura 30
Lucifel: So I have to apologize. I am healthy now, but my schedule is so weird I completely lost track of the days and wellI completely missed the update! bonks self- and then days have been crazy busy

Naruto: NO ONE minded. Orochimaru: I did! Things are never sexy enough without reviewers. Gaara: youre the ONLY one who likes the reviewers, you do realize that Sakura: I dont mind MOST of them Kabuto: The rest of us do. Lucifel: Anywho, the point is, Im sorry. Im also leaving for four weeks this Sunday heh. I HOPEFULLY will have interweb on my laptop for that time. But I might not, Im going to try and get that tomorrow. If notitll be four weeksahehe. Sakura: YOU MEAN VACATION!? Lucifel: Not really, just suspended animationand even with internet updates will be sparodic. Ill know by Saturday and let you all know if Ill be able to update or not. Love you all!! Lets get this show on the road! Oh, and Becky does Taichi. O.O
A.H.S: Hey guys! -Waves Picking up Chimerea's hand to wave as the pinkette twitches- This is my freind Chimeara!! C.I.A: Hn. AHS: Anyhow, Sasori! Daddy says you will sign the papers!! Zakura-san!! Daddy is giving me a new organization! -Hits her in the head with a baseball bat- A.H.S: x.x...C.I.A: -coughesAnyhow! -ruffles her hair- Like she said, Sasori, you WILL sign those papers, Zakura, you will join. Ok! She has a few dares.... Another thing...Sasori...She had the baby...Which...I'm still weirded out by...It keeps staring at me smiling... Itachi: Too many fans have friends!!

Haku: Dont be mad just because you dont Everyone: O.O Neji: Did Haku just.

Kiba: Is it possible for Haku to even Zabuza: Imso proud. Haku: Waitwhat? No I was just saying a fact Itachi: -twitch- I have friends Deidara: Who? Itachi: Ummyou I thought Deidara: Nah. Kisame loves you though, yeah. Itachi: -twitchZakura: But heysomeone knocked A.H.S. out!! Sakura: Woot! Kabuto: And I thought you liked the fans? Sakura: I said MOST. Orochimaru: Whats not to like about AHS?! Jiraiya: Yeah-droolSaku/Zaku/Kabu: Are you kidding me?! Sasori: AGK!?! She had the baby?! Deidara: Ohand its smiling, yeah. Sasori: This disgrace can not be tolerated-preps deadly kunai- I will make sure that child never smiles again. Kiba: that is fucked up man Zakura: Yeah, joining shit doesnt matter because IM STUCK IN HERE!! And no anyway.
Kabuto: what are your feelings for all the people in the room and please...Don't hold back. Orochi-sama:*gives sasuke plushie and hugs* don't ask just let me hug you. Gaara and Itachi-sama:*gives each a large asortment of fraps* and here's a question for just itachi, how much for pics of you and sasuke going at it? i'm willing to pay any price and i mean any.. Mini Death

Kabuto: I obsessively love Orochimaru, passionately hate Sasuke, I have deep respect and great care for Kimi, and the rest of the people are cool, I guess. Well, cool or stupid

Kiba: Very descriptive. Kabuto: Youre definitely one of the stupid ones. Orochimaru: No complaints here. hugs- Yay, Im getting a collection. Neji: What do you think he uses those plushies for? Kiba: I dont wanna know Ita/Gaa: YAY!!! Kankuro: But dont you hate the fans Gaara? Gaara: So? Kankuro: Well Gaara: I can accept gifts and still hate. Itachi: Oh, not much. Just a few limbs and several years of servitudeor fifty bucks. Kabuto: Way to make a lot of sense. Itachi: Thanks.
Naru-Chan, how does it feel to be on a genin team, with a bitch, an emo, and a teacher who favourites the emo? Dei-Dei-Chan, I decided to give you a brush for your beautiful hair, and a plushie of Saso-kun! Oh and Sasori, start being nicer to Dei-Dei-chan, after all he wasn't the one who was KILLED by a pink haired bitch and a grandma, do you know how pathetic that sounds? Gift Baskets to everyone except HINATA! June x Naruto: I thought it was pretty clear that I FUCKING HATE IT. Sakura: Im not a bitch Zakura: She WISHES she was so awesome. Sakura: -glaresZakura: Leave the glaring to Gaara. He knows what hes doing. Orochimaru: -snicker- Yeah, Sasori, you really are kind ofpathetic. Sasori: Ok, that waswasI MEANT to do that. Itachi: Riiight. Ok, well, you keep telling yourself that. Sasori: I did!!

Orochimaru: Of course you did sassy. Sasori: -sulkDeidara: -cuddles with plushie- Yay! Hairbrush! Orochi-chan, can I play with your hair? Yeah. Orochimaru: EEE!! YES!! -they run offZakura: -twitch- everyoneexceptHinata? the gift baskets explodes- WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Everyone (except Kabuto, Sasori, Deidara and Manda) SEETHEKiba: Someones getting a beat-down. Kurenai: -cracks knucklesQuestion to All: are you happy? I dare Neji and Oro to have a SLUT-OFF on Itachi's terms! Zakura: If youre happy raise your hand.

Dei/Oro/Kimi/Lee/Neji/Kiba/Shino/Haku/Zabu/Zaku/Manda/Kank: -raise handItachi: Manda did it again. Orochimaru: Oh stop whining and let me give you a french braid. Itachi: Umm, how about ponytail braids instead? Orochimaru: sure! All the manly men: -TWITCHZakura: Whoevers not happygo get laid. Sakura: How can we be happy in here?! Zakura: Look around, everyones whos happy, is getting laid or enjoys suffering. Sasori: Unless its the suffering of having a happy child. KibaL -.- God forbid. Sasori: He didnt-shudderItachi: Uhm, each of you has to screw me using all the tactics in your arsenal. Neji: Deal! Orochimaru: Hell yes deal!!

Itachi: YAY!! -they go have slut-offNaruto: My quest goes well, Naruto! I have found many clues to the idenity of your father, but you must wait still, since I want to make absolutely sure, so as to not disappoint you with false information! Lee: YOSH! LEE, ME YOUTHFUL FIREND, I WILL SET ON A QUEST TO RESCUE GAI-SENSEI, SO HE MAY TRAIN US! Gaara: I give youthis! *holds up a potion* With this potion, you will be able to sleep porperly, without worrying about the Shukaku taking over and destroying you! P.S. *Hands out food that Kabuto would consider good for your mind and body to everyone* Naruto: Where are you finding these clues that I never did?!

Kiba: Hes a FANBOY they have unlimited resources. Itachi: Mostly Wikipedia. Kabuto: Or the fact that EVERYONE already knows that!! Naruto: Knows what? Kabuto: Who your dad is! Naruto: then why hasnt anyone told me?! Everyone: -sighLee: YOSH!! THANK YOU MY GOOD MAN!! I KNOW BY THE POWER OF YOUTH YOU WILL SAVE OUR WONDERFUL GAI-SENSEI!! Itachi: Oh my god! If you two have one more of your youthful little exchanges I will rip your VOICE BOXES out!! Lee: you can rip out the voicebox of YOUTH!! Itachi youre going DOWN. -Chase scene!Gaara: -gasp- Where is it?! Kiba: Aww man, that drink made my stomach hurtand all it did was taste like pit. Gaara: Youre going on the list. Kankuro: Since when dont you outright kill people?

Gaara: The list is more intimidating. Kankuro: you need more intimidation tactics?! Gaara: Do you like being awake? Kankuro: Yes Gaara: Then shut the fuck up. Kankuro: K. Kiba: youre gonna take that from your LITTLE brother? Kankuro: uh, yeah. Yeah I am. Kiba: -looks at Gaara- yeah, I dont really blame you. Kabuto: about fucking time. Kimimaro: I want some! Zakura: And youre the only one.
*smiles realy widely* I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna jump in there! *crashes against wall* OW... So anyway since I can't get in there I'm gonna have to throw someone in there for me...YOSH!! I know who, too! *throws Ayame Sohma into the room* Ashlynn: 'Kaa-san Nii-san is hogging the computer. He's probably surfing for porn again! Ceyx: AM NOT! Baka...I swear, having a little sibling isn't all it's cracked up to be... Hinata: Can I pwease pet you? I love cats! Plus you're just so KAWAII!! To Anyone: What should I do about the little sister problem? Itachi: I dare you to listen to Classical Music the entire chapter! *all materials mysteriouly provided* Ayame: Hello everyone!!

Zakura: No! no more of you!! starts dragging him to the windowAyame: But I brought dresses!! Oro/Ita: NO! LET HIM STAY!! they grab him and pull him over to a corner. Ayame: Hello gentlemen!! I am Ayame Sohma! I make beautiful and luxurious dresses for gentlemen of all styles and persuasions!! Itachi: -starry eyes- youre so my new best friend

Ayame: Of course, of course. You knowIm making a wedding dress for a man about your size could Ido some fitting on you? Itachi: OhOH GOD YES!!! Lucifel: Yay!! My children are together!! (it was Ashs birthday on Monday, btw). Its funny, Ashlynn was born of a concept, and Ceyx was also born just by kind ofsplitting off (its a higher-being thing). Sakura: you are a messed up person. Lucifel Im a little tipsy too. Sakura: you are not. Lucifel: Naw just horny. Sakura: Enough of that! Kabuto: I was gonna say that. Sakura: Oh...ehehe. Hinata: Oh.ok I guess. Teehee. Kimimaro: Im so glad no one wants to pet me Orochimaru: I will! Oh, and as far as little sisters go, just feed her to some sheep Sakura: Or you could try being a good older brother. Lucifel: This is the boy who adores my its just incest linegreat older brother. Sakura: thats true. Lucifel: You say it like I wasnt totally serious. I prefer my children to be raised openminded. Sakura: sooo messed up. Itachi: Hey, why would you do that to me?! Zakura: dont matter. Jams headphones on his head.amber: going to italy was fun. HT: oh boy... how high is the bounty on your head? amber: hm.. i dunno. all i know is that kyuubi wont find rome... NOW FETCH ME SOME GODDAMN COCOA!

HT: DONT START WITH THIS AGAIN!! *gets shot in the head* amber: who is the hobo? *slices hobo in half. Turns out to be tom cruise* o.O HT: WTF!? amber: dammit i dont want him!! you have him! *throws tom cruise in and he tackles sakura*

Neji: What he hell!? There is no question in there ANYWHERE!! Sakura: -after smashing in Tom Cruises head with Kurenais help- This is really all they pertaining to the room Zakura: haha, crazy fans. Gotta love em. Saku/Gaa: No I dont! Itachi: Haha, shes on a cocoa tirade again! Get me some! I could use a break from fraps!! Gaara: Blasphemer. Kyuubi: Dammit Amber!! I wanted Rome!!!
1. Itachi...what did you mean when you said "great, a musical fan". 2. -sends DVD of the films on and all 20 episodes of Making Fiends from I am not Amy Winfrey so I did not make the muffin films 3. I have about a gallon of Cran-Apple juice here if anyone's interested... -The Muffinator 3

Itachi: You were playing the violin. Youre a musical fan. Deidara: All done! Yeah. Ita/Oro: Yay! Braids! Haku: I have ribbons too you know Oro/Dei: YEEEE!! Itachi: Thats pushing it Zabuza: Who the fuck makes muffin films? Haku: -gasp- this is better than talking-animal movies! Zabuza: Youre such a weird little kid Kiba: And youre the one that screws him. Zabuza: Hell yes I am. Haku/Hina: Yay! Juice!

-they drink big glasses of juice, served beside a muffin platter that Gaara carefully keeps Kankuro from catching sight or sniff ofI need some advice you guys. I am friends with most of the people at my school but I am also friends with an unpopular girl. My friends don't care that I like her but when I'm with her they ignore me because they think she's weird. what should I do? I want to hang out with all of my friends. but I don't want to leave the other girl alone.

Itachi: Well, obviously one side of this is completely wrong and needs to be destroyed. Deidara: The path of least resistance is to only kill off the one girl, because theres only one of her. Yeah. Itachi: however, everyone knows the majority is always the most corrupt, so Orochimaru: Besides dont settle for ONE murder when you can go complete psychokiller!! Ita/Dei: EXACTLY!...yeah. Sakura: Stop it you three!! Ita/Oro/Dei: Awww. Ayame: I see you men are into the more dark and violent side of lifeI have the perfect outfits for you!! Itachi: Seriously?! Ayame: Right this way! opens the green door and it leads to a huuuge walk-in closetLee: ACK! He kill the dojo-door! Kiba: I dont think that thing worked to begin with Kurenai: My advice to you would be this: You have to sit down and look at the morals of those girls, what they hold dear and important. Look at both sides carefully and see which one will be the healthiest environment for you. Youll be much better off hanging out with just that one girl if the others arent any good for you. Sakura: And in my experience anyone who excludes someone before giving them a chance isnt worth much in the long run. Zakura: Or the other girl might be a totally weirdo and you could ignore her instead Sakura: Godammit.

Danie: Nothing?! NOTHING!? Dont lie Hinata! takes out a rocket launcherAnjiru: Dont you dare do that to her! Shes cute! shields HinataDanie: Who cares about bestiality! I wanna marry Kimimaro! Hes uber cute as a cat and it wont be bad anyway, youll still stay there though Anjiru: Wait! I have a dare for you guys! I want each and everyone of you to makeout with your most hated person! And you cant makeout with someone else because I have a list! Danie: Anyway, Kimi! How can I convince you?! What must I do?! From, Danie and Anjiru

Hinata: Ahh!! Kiba: -lunges at D&A- GRAH!! hits head on computer screen- Owww. Kurenai: Smooth, pup. Kiba: -whimperKimimaro: Starting to wish I was a cat again Kabuto: Haha, I bet you do. Kimimaro: -glareKabuto: Gah! Oh, ha! The people I hate arent even HERE!! Jiraiya: Wait! Wait! I hateuhKurenai! I hate Kurenai! Kurenai: -skillet-bash- Nice try. Deidara: I dont wanna make out with her! Shes evil!! Sasori: NOOO! Shell have your baby too! Deidara: Nooo!! Zakura: Oh, knock it off. pushes Dei into A.H.Ss roomSaku/Zaku: NOOOOMPF. Yay! Lesbian-twin-make-outs!! Jiraiya: I cant breath through my own blood!! Naruto: ACK! Orochimaru: Ewww. Itachi: Dont do it Oro!

Orochimaru: Eh, you should try everything once. shrugs and makes out with NaruItachi: Oh god Hinata: -breathes a sigh of relief at Kyuubis absenceKabuto: So anyway, what can she do to convince you? -Gaara runs by in the background screaming profanities and trying to avoid the fans to whom he owes make-outsKimimaro: Nothing! Orochimaru: Manda, dont you owe Manda: NO! hisss- first person to try is my next meal. Gaara: And what Lee said doesnt count! He is not allowed to make out with everyone! Lee: Aww Gaara: Dont you aww its for your own good. Itachi: You jealous bastard.
I'm listening to a pirate cd so how about a pirate costume a renaisance european dress (so one of you can play the captive) and... I can't think so a sexy chinese dress. hey you can be a shanghai pirate or something I would also like to say "it's just insects" heh heh I like insects heh

Lucifel: Thats MY pirate CD you little thief! Sakura: This isnt the time for sibling nonsense. Kiba: If you were an only child you would know, theres ALWAYS time. Neji: amen! Itachi: Fuck yes! I always have time for little Sasuke Sakura: Ok! Creepy! NO!! Itachi: Weve been doing this for six months now and youre still freaking out? Whats wrong with you? Sakura: I just have this little thing against incest is all-glower-

Itachi: Freak. Ayame: EEE!! Costumes! I can tailor these to fit whoever wants them!! Orochimaru: Itachi should be the pirate because he wears eyeliner!! Deidara: Then I get the renaissance dress! Yeah! Orochimaru: Ill be the shanghai pirate aka Itachis sexy lover!! Itachi: W00T!! -They go hide in the closet to get changed. No one else has managed to giggle so much while doing so.Sakura: Lucy, youre sister a bestiality freak. Shino: -twitch- stay away from beloved bugs you freak. Lucifel: -.- its not like THAT.is it? Ayame: Thisll look so CUTE!! Deidara: Ive never worn such a luxurious dress! Yeah!
Hinata - i saw a deviantart thingy and apperently a c cup bra is too small for u. is that true? Shino - wot sort of shock would u get to crack ur shades? Neji - apparently hanabi is the spoilt brat figure. is this true??

Hinata: -bluuush- W-well I am aa Zakura: You are NOT an a-cup. Hinata: I knowthis is embarrassingIm a D. Zaku/Jira: -twitchy nosebleedKurenai: So am I? So what? Real women have curves. Jiraiya: -faintKiba: =O Shino: Stop having dirty thoughts about our sensei and our team-mate. Kiba: B-but, there are probably only two girls in all Konoha with boobs so bigand Im near them BOTH.

Shino: So is your boyfriend, you dick. Kiba: Hehe, love you babe. Shino: Seeing as how I havent been able to WEAR my sunglasses sinceI dont even know which chapter, its hard to tell. My eyes hurt, btw. Kiba: Awww. kisses eyesNeji/Hina: OH YEAH. Hinata: -blush- Well, shes not really that bad Neji: Hell yes she is! Its ridiculous! She thinks just cuz shes so young she thinks the world is hers! Bitch. Hinata: And she scares me. Ita/Oro/Dei: -BURST OUT OF THE CLOSET!!!Sasori: Those fags were out of the closet ages ago. Itachi: -brandishing a saber- Avast ye scurvy dogs! We be running this place now! Sakura: I have the horrible feeling of a pirate theme looming Lucifel: Sooo.Thursdaythis is really embarrassing. Thanks to everyone who sent me well-wishes! I really appreciated it! It helped so much! Also, Im really gonna try to get this internet thing taken care of! I want to be able to update! I really do! I love you all!

Ask Sakuras Summer Vacation Hey everyone. This is Lucifel, your maniacal host. I apologize but my laptop and each and every wireless card we tried are not getting along. This means four weeks without Ask Sakura. This also means four weeks for me without you amazingly hilarious and perverted people!! Ill miss you all! Things that give you a reason to come back: The next chapter is pirate themed!! Kyuubi will return when I do!! The Red Potions will be used!! Gaara may or may not confess his feelings for Lee!! Sasuke may or may not show up!! Orochimaru and Jiraiya may or may not finally have steamy sex in the frap pool!! (Sorry Danie and Anjiru) Kiba and Shino may or may not get in another argument!! One of those four things is guaranteed to happen!! So, please return JUNE 25 for the next hilarious, sexy, perverted, weirder than a redneck-family-reunion installment of Ask Sakura!! Much love!! Angel Lucifel

Ask Sakura 31 Im back my lovelies!! Sorry I didnt update right away but I had people and webcomics to catch up with. Heh. Vacation was lovely but I missed you all very much and am very happy to be back on the job! So, now being relaxed and refreshed I bring you Pirates of Ask Sakura: Petty Arguments Itachi and Deidara stand over Orochimaru, who is tied to the mast that suddenly appeared in the middle of the room. The room, by the way, is nowb pirate-themed. Rough wood for floor and walls, sails hanging off the walls and half-way down from the ceiling. Port-hole windows much too small to jump out of also dot the walls. Anywho, yeah, Orochimarus tied up Sakura: Wasnt Deidara the girl? Ayame: I talked them into switching. The dress complimented Orochimarus skin-tone more. Sakura: Oh whatever. Neji: -tilting head- no I see where hes coming from Itachi: So, young laddie Orochimaru: Please, its lassie. Ita/Dei: -confused look- Wtf? Jiraiya: When did you turn back? Orochimaru: I didnt. Its role-playing. I am in the womans costume Haku: so?

Zabuza: -pat-patDeidara: Im a guy in a dress Orochimaru: Well. I wanna be a woman. Ita/Dei: -shrugItachi: So as I was saying young missy, yer our prisoner now, and yer to do whatever I say. Orochimaru: Never! I am a proper young lady! I will perform no horrible act you filthy pirates ask of me. Kurenai: Thats news to me Orochimaru: roleplaying. Hello!! Kurenai: but still, to put your basic need for lust aside for the sake of that Orochimaru: after taking over/destroying the world my greatest dream was to be an actor. Kiba: Well he is gay enough. Itachi:-scowl- Enough out of the ship-rats! Kiba: Hey! At least call me a dog. Shino: -rolls eyesItachi: -putting the point of his saber to Kibas throat- The next man or lady caught speakin outta term will be thrown off the plank! Shikamaru: Theres a plank? Itachi: -kicks open the door to the pool room, there is now a plank at the far end of a DEEEEP pool which appears to be infested with sharksItachi: -whistles- thats convenient Shikamaru: Uhnevermind Deidara: Wasnt that jus speakin outta term, yeah? Itachi: I believe yer right, first mate.

Deidara: IM THE FIRST MATE?! YEEE!! hugs ItachiKurenai: How pirate-like Itachi: -swings saber at herKurenai: -dodges- WTF?!? Itachi: I told ye all to be holdin yer tongues din I? Deidara: -still hugging- Aye, that ye did capn. Itachi: .ye may want to stop huggin me, Dei. Its ruinin the effect Deidara: -straightening to board-like posture- Aye capn.
Neji-san- y r u such a slut? Jiraya-sama: O.o *snaps pic* the drunken dancer's going on the net, does that mean u would do Oro along w/ Tsunade-sama?

Neji: Have you ever tried it? Its SO fucking fun. Itachi: -smirk- Aye, that it is. pulls Neji to his side- Which is why youre the official ships whore. Neji: I get to fuck pirates?! RIGHT ON!! Deidara: I want to sleep with the captain!!! Itachi: No duh, the firs mate always does. Deidara: -puppy eyes- Do I get to? Itachi: Agin, duh. Jiraiya: Well-looks at Oro in sexy Victorian dress- Well Kurenai: -rolls eyes- Separate, together, after theyre dead, whatever. Hes just desperate to get laid. Jiraiya: Hey! Necrophilia is one of the few things I do not condone! Kurenai: Pedophilia? Jiraiya: After age Thirteen, sure. Kurenai: Incest?

Jiraiya: I draw the line only at parent/child Kurenai: Beastiality? Itachi: Depends. How intelligent a beast are we talking? Kurenai: 0.o Jiraiya: Im KIDDING!! Naruto: GAAAAAAH!!! MENTAL IMAGES OF JIRAIYA AND GAMA OYABUN!! MAKE THE BURNING STOP!!! Zabuza: -water-jutsus NarutoNaruto: BLLUURGLE!! -Naru gets washed up against the wall beside Zabu and HakuZabuza: Better? Naruto: Garble Haku: Ohpoor Naruto-hugsNaruto: -BLUSHZabuza: -glareItachi: YOU!! Zabuza: Me? Itachi: Yea, you. I could use ye aboard my ship. Interested? Zabuza: Nnnnno Itachi: GOOD! You start immediately! Zabuza: Um, hell no. Haku: -sigh- pirates are so sexy Zabu/Naru: SIGN ME UP!! Zabuza: -twitchy glance at Naruto-

Naruto: -nervous laughter- Umhopefully Sakura thinks the same? Zabuza: Youre going to DIE kiddo Haku: NO!! I like Naruto! Zabuza: Fine. glares at Naruto and stalks over to ItachiGaara who exactly is on your list? Sasori I say it again you are PATHETIC! you did it on purpose, phst, load of crap. I sympathise with your kid for having a father like you, A.H.S. should totally bring him up to kick your ass! Gift baskets for Deidara, Gaara and Itachi coz they are cool! June x

Gaara: Kiba: You forgot didnt you. Gaara: No. Shut up. Im being a badass. Silent glaringKiba: right. Sasori: God, Whats wrong with you fans? No one understands me! Itachi: you! Emo-scourge! Sasori: Emo scourge? Itachi: Aye. Thats certnly what ye are. Sasori: Hey Itachi: I need someone to watch from the crows nest, you can do it. Sasori: Excuse me? Itachi: Try not to throw yourself from it ok? Sasori: Im not e Itachi: Git to the crows nest. Sasori: Fine, surewaitdo we have one? Itachi: ummjustgo to the tower of used frappucinno crates over there. Sasori: KIm bored anyway.

Ayame: Ill go make more costumes! Gaara: hey! Giftbaskets! Deidara: Can we have a time out? Itachi: Um, hell yeah.
while my computer was busted I took over Earth...who wants gold

Itachi: A pirate plunders his own gold!! Deidara: Ill take some! Yeah! Itachi: Shame on you.
-Hands Itachi his manicure set.- Thought that might go with the dresses. C.I.A: -Sweatdrops and picks up the toddler.- I dare someone to lock Sakura, Kabuto and Oro in a closet for the whole chapter!! Oh yeah! Manda!! Can I sign your contract...?

Itachi: Firs mate!! Deidara: Yessir? Yeah? Itachi: -hands manicure set- put this in with our treasure chestlock it up tight. Deidara: Yessir.. Itachi: and mate? Deidara: Y-yessir Itachi: I see the look in your eye. Dont go getting your clay-stained hands in MY manicure set. Deidara: Can wecan we have a manicure party later sir? Yeah? Itachi: If youre good. Deidara: Oh THANK YOU sir, yeah!! skips off to put the manicure set in the dojoclosetZabuza: While youve got it open -shoves Kabuto, Sakura and Orochimaru into the closetEveryone: 0.o Zabuza: What? I like pain and suffering as much as the next guy.

Itachi: -teary-eyed- Im so glad I hired himbut Deidara: the captiveyeah Itachi: Dammit. Ayame: where am I gonna make Sasoris costume? Sasori: why dont you not? Manda: Zzzzsnrk. Wh-what? Oh sure whatever. First shipment by Thursday and then once a month after that and for any special favors you want. Which I have a .00000001 percent chance of actually doing. Jiraiya: this is why I picked frogs.
Itachi: *Evil pyscho glint in eyes* Threaten me will you? You do relize that when I take you onto the satilette, I can take away your dresses, your photo albums, burn everything you own of Sasuke, and even put you in a room that leaks anit-incest gas, right? Lee: YOSH! I HAVE RESCUED GAI-SENSEI, AND AM KEEPING HIM HERE UNTIL HE IS COMPLETLY OUT OF HARMS WAY! HE SENDS YOU GREETINGS! YOSH! DO NOT LOSE THE PATH OF A GENIUS OF HARD WORK! STAY YOUTHFUL! Gaara: Don't worry Gaara, I made plenty of the sleep potions...*Hands him a case of it* And this one comes with an anti-no-touch-unless-your-Jaden-or-Gaara shield.

Itachi: -twitch- I do believe I been threatened Diedara: So um, what should I be doing about that? Yeah? Itachi: Forget the prisoner for nowwere launching an attack!! Zabuza: Oh are we? Itachi: Aye! Launch the Gumdrop Queen!! Zabu/Dei: what? Itachi: Wellit sounded like a good name at the time Zabuza: Well, Im hereby launching Hells Mistress. smashes wine bottle on the floorItachi: I still think it was a good name... Deidara: well, I know youre captian and all butI have to say Zabuzas, yeahwell, its not that its better its just Itachi: -raises eyebrow-

Zabuza: -raises eyebrowDeidara: More threatening! ..Yeah! Zabuza: No shit Sherlock. Itachi: fine! But to me shell always be the gumdrop Queen Sakura: THERE IS NO SHIP!!! Zakura: FUCKING DAMMIT!! Sakura: what? Zakura: Well, you werent going to swear Lee: I am forever in your debt! Keep him well and safe! Careful of his hugs! Only the greatest can take them without breaking some ribs!! Kurenai: -shiversKiba: Wayway too freaky Shino/Hina: -nod, nodGaara: YESS!! I CAN SLEEP!! downs ALL the potions- Wow Im tired. collapses.Lee: Oh! Gaara! picks him up and puts him on the bed.Gaara: -thrashes about in his sleep- I love youI love you Lee: Naruto! Isnt it sweeteven Gaara is in love with someone! Naruto: Heh, thats coolso long as its not me. Lee: I bet its a secret! Like Hinatas love! Naruto: Itll always be a big old mystery huh Lee? Shikamaru: oh my god
1. um...-bowl of already prepared instant ramen with a pair of bamboo chopsticks suddenly appear beside Naruto- that's for you Naruto-kun...don't worry about me, I have my own ramen right here. 2. ITACHI!! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR TUSH!! I PLAY THE VIOLA NOT THE STINKIN' VIOLIN!! GET IT RIGHT!! VIOLA! VIOLA! 3. Gaara...what happens to Kankuro when he eats a muffin and why? -The Muffinator 3

Naruto: Ramenramenramenramenramen

Jiraiya: Im cutting you off Naruto: NOOOO!! Jiraiya: Enough is enough Naruto: Yeah, and not enough is not enough! GIMME!! -Meanwhile in the closetOrochimaru: hmm, for a walk-in closet its not very big Sakura: no youre just managing to fit Kabuto and yourself into one inch of a corner Orochimaru: Oh...teeheedo you mind Kabuto? Kabuto: -blush- Not really Sakura: -in the other corner- Of course he doesnt! He enjoys being your whore more than anything in the world. Orochimaru: Aww, -snugglesKabuto: Ummyeah-blush, embarrassed glance at SakuraSakura: -flips the fingerKabuto: -glaresOrochimaru: - :3 -back in the roomItachi: If ye hold it under yer chin and play it with yer fingers and bow it doesnt fuckin matter what ye fucking call it. Deidara: Actually youd be surprised how much it actually changes Itachi: do ye want to walk the damn plank?! Deidara: N-no siryeah Itachi: YEAH?! Deidara: NO!!

Itachi: Okwell hoist anchor so we can get this attack underway! Zabuza: What exactly are we attacking again? Itachi: Does it matter? Were launching an attack! Zabuza: What a great fucking captain Ayame: I made you a costume Zabuza! Zabuza: Im not wearing any of youryour-looks at the completely bad-ass pants and leather vest with knee-high tough old boots- Give me that. grabs it.Gaara: snrrgk Kankuro: I dont think anything happens Gaara: -still sleeping- NO!! Dont give it to him! Kiba: -snrk- give who what exactly? Gaara: Hes mine Kankuro: wow Gaara Shikamaru: Kankuro hes NOT talking about you. Kankuro: Well who do you think hes talking about smartass? Shikamaru: I KNOW! Everyone besides you and the other several dunces in this room already knows! How can you all be so dense?! Kiba: Youuhfeeling a little frustrated there Shikamaru? Shikamaru: no. No not at all. stalks offNeji: For how small this room is a lot of people have managed to stalk off Shino: yeah well, Manda raises his hand so Neji: Yeah
Itachi: who won the slut-off? Besides you... Gives everybody a large, mysterious demonic artifact: I found this and couldn't sell it at my family's garage sale, so here you go. It probably does something evil when it works, but who knows, it might grant wishes. I'm sorry... I can't resist... (throws Monkey D. Luffy into the room and laughs maniacally)

Itachi: Oh yeaI was supposed to choose a winner ey? Neji: -leans forward intentlyItachi: I done forget, Ill have to see agin so I can properly judge. Neji: -pouncesZakura: Sakura: what? Zakura: these red potions have sat around long enough, lets use one. Sakura: On who? Zakura: One of the old people. Theyre expendable. Jiraiya: Hey! Kiba: arent you offended Kurenai? Kurenai: Are you implying Im old Kiba? Kiba: Wellyou are. Kurenai: -twitchKiba: Meep. Kurenai: give it to Jiraiya, hes the one we want around the least. Naruto: I want him around! Kurenai: Careful, kid, you are over thirteen. Naruto: EWWW!! Jiraiya: -blank lookNaruto: Ummero-sennin? pokeJiraiya: Oh, yeah, eww. Naruto: =O

Orochimaru: -dashes out of closet- Ill give it to him!! Zabuza: Who said you could come out of the closet? And if any one makes the joke Ill kill them. Orochimaru: Ive always been out of closet. Zabuza: I said Orochimaru: It wasnt a joke!! ducks away and runs over to Jiraiya- Hello Jira-chan!! Jiraiya: Hi Orochimaru: Are you drinking anything right now? Jiraiya: just this. holds up sake jarOrochimaru: PERFECT!! takes jar and right in front of Jira, takes Jiras red potion and pours it into his sake.- Here you go!! Kurenai: Oh come on, hes stupid but not that Jiraiya: -drinks upKurenai: O.O Zakura: I think you stand corrected. Shikamaru: So whos gonna take the artifact? Itachi: Eh, you can have it. Shikamaru: Are you serious? Itachi: HELL NO!! snatches artifact- I wonder what it does. Kiba: Maybe its a kind of Viagra. Naruto: like Viagra falls? Everyone: O.o Kurenai: its Niagara falls, Naruto. Kiba: How come no one pronounces that second a?

Shikamaru: because theyre American. Zakura: Well, give them the benefit of the doubt. Its half Canada too. Lucifel: And I am not American! Im United Statesian. Luffy: HEY GUYS! Zakura: -kicks him out the window, but he grabs the sill and sling-shots back in.Everyone: whoa. Neji: I wonder what else he can stretch. Luffy: I can stretch everything on my body! Itachi: -grin- welcome aboard the gum Zabuza: Hells Mistress. And Welcome off. throws in the shark-poolItachi: NO! Why did you do that?! Zabuza: Why shouldnt I have? Itachi: Because he could stretch Zabuza: Oh shut up you pervert.
(is surrounded by very hot guys between 16 and 25 in age and either have animal ears and a tail or are human) Lucifel: would you like some of the guys? some of them like to get out alot and i'm sure you have plenty of room for them. Kankuro:i dare you to take off your face paint and hat! everyone else: i was thinking for selling some of them off to other people and maybe even a cople of animes. should i do it? Mini Death

Lucifel: HELL YEAH!!! buys fiveKankuro: -gasp- II cant. Lee: Why not? Knakuro: I just cant! Naruto: Why not? Kankuro: Cuz my back is aching and my belts too tight! And my hips keep shaking from the leftto the right!

Zabu/Ita/Kure/Man/Jira/Sas/Shika: -abject horrorHaku: I know that rhyme! Zabuza: -glareHaku: But I wont join in. Gaara: No! I dont want the cigars! Lee: What in the world is he dreaming about? GASP! Maybe the cigars are significant of his fading youth! NO GAARA! YOU ARE YOUTHFUL YET!! Naruto: Calm down, he sleep talks a lotabout cigarsdont ask why. Kankuro: -nods in agreementLee: How strange. Zakura: Soyour hat and make-up Kankuro? Kankuro: you dont want me to. Zakura: why not. Kankruo: Bad things happen Zakura: Oh come on, you cant be that ugly. Kankuro: All right -removes hat and make-upAll the women: -Gasp! Swoon! Blush! Giggle!Zakura: But ImIm lesbian Kurenai: and Im not a pedophile, but DAYUM boy. Kankuro: -sighNaruto: sigh? SIGH?! Kankuro: I dont like all this female attention. Shikamaru: So youre gay?

Kankuro: no. I just only like one girl. Shikamaru: Ok. Kankuro: Temari. Shikamaru: I DIDNT ASK!!! Kimimaro: I dont think you should sell them. Speaking from the point of view of a newly-turned cat-boy I can tell you were just as human as everyone else and have just as many rights. Orochimaru: Except you cuz you belong to me. Kimimaro: right Itachi: Prisoner! You will not hide away again! Jiraiya: Thats right she wont! Because from now on, this is mine!! snatches up Orochimaru and kisses passionatelyEveryone: =O Orochimaru: O.o -long pauseOrochimaru: JiraiyaIwow Ayame: -hands Jiraiya a swash-buckler outfit which is immediately upon himJiraiya: thats right you pirate scourge! You stole my fair lady once, and yell not have her back now! Orochimaru: Whats this all about? Jiraiya: I felt like having some fun! Is that a problem, darling? Orochimaru: Darling? Jiraiya: Yes? Orochimaru: YEE! hugsZakura: Oh. It was a love potion.

Kabuto: -leaning out of the closet- O.0 Sakura: -snort- well, thats a bitch for you, isnt it Kabuto? Kabuto: you shut up.
-Kyuubi and Sasuke are hogtied and gagged in the backgroundJust wanted to say goodbye! ...Would you believe that Rome was restored in a day? -Kyuubi cackles gleefully through gagSincerely, Kryah

Orochimaru: I wonder how Rome was Kyuubi: Fuckin amazing. Everyone: KYUUBI!! Kyuubi: youre happy to see me? Itachi: Half of that was moans, I think Kyuubi: Only half? Oh well. Oi, Jiraiya. Jiraiya: Yessir? Orochimaru: Yessir? Kyuubi: Hoist the sail of The Mistress of Hell. Captain Itachi looks ready to attack. Ita/Zabu: HEY WAIT!! Itachi: Why are you on his side? Zabuza: Thats MY name! Kyuubi: He needs a bad-ass captain. shrugs- And I had planned to call my ship that long before you named your stupid ship! Zabuza: NO you didnt you liar! Itachi: Yours sounds dumber! Jiraiya: Does not! Itachi: does too! Jiraiya: DOES NOT!!

Itachi: DOES TOO!! Zabu/Kyuu: BOYS!! Ita/Jira: What? Zabu/Kyuu: Knock it off! Ita/Jira: Yessir. Itachi: HEY! IM the captain!! Zabuza: The hell you are! Itachi: I AM!! whinesDeidara: Ill be everyones bitch! Sasori: Loyal my ass! Deidara: I TOLD you! Im doing this cuz you ignore me yeah! Sasori: I ignore you because youre a slut! Deidara: If I wasnt a slut would you love me? Yeah? Sasori: no. Deidara: -whimperAyame: I made outfits for everyone on the ships! Kyuubi: Sweet-ass. becomes trussed up in an all-leather black piratey ensemble.I'll give you all food and... RUM! Lots of rum.. Oh! By the way! -throws an undead monkey in the room, and provides everybody with swords and gunsARR! Have fun! Krisse

Zabuza: -tries rum- -guzzles rumKyuubi: Who do you think you are? That rum is going on MY ship! Zabuza: The hell it is! Haku: Look, Zabuza-san! Ive got a pirate costume too!

Zabuza: -gapes at Hakus childish sexiness.Kyuubi: -steals rumItachi: Ack! The child is a traitor!! Haku: no Im notIm just trying to be sexy for Zabuza-san Itachi: Lies! Throw him off the plank! Zabuza: -twitch- Itachi. What did you just say? Itachi: I said we must throw the traitor child off the plank!!! scrambles for HakuZabuza: -pounds Itachi into pulpHaku: Zabuza-sanyou neednt be violent for me Zabuza: -abandons the squished Itachi to kiss Haku passionatelyAyame: Yee! Makes me miss yuki!! Itachi: -while trying to reassemble himself- whos Yuki? Ayame: My little brother Itachi: Awesome. You screw your brother too? Ayame: You bet! Meanwhile: Yuki: -while doing a steamy threesome with Kyo and Haru- Ack! I have the horrible feeling my brother is lying about us again. Kyo: But I walked in on you guys doing it! Yuki: that was practically rape! Haru: you were on top part of the time! Yuki: Welljust cause its rape doesnt make it unsexy Ayame: Oh my sweet little brother Undead Monkey: SQUAWK!!

Itachi: Ummyoure a monkeymonkeys dont squawk. They Screech. Undead Monkey: Fuck you man, Im a parrot. SQUAWK! CRACKER! Everyone: umm Hinata: I think hes cute. Undead Monkey: Hello! Goodbye! CRACKER!! jumps to Hinatas shoulderHinata: teehee. Kiba: Hinataits a zombie monkey. Hinata: So? Hes cute! Undead Monkey: -gives Kiba the fingerKiba: Did you see that! DID YOU SEE THAT?! Hinata: Please, Kiba, Im sure he doesnt even know what it means. His old master was probably a horrible man who taught him that. Kiba: WhateverIm watching you monkey. Undead Monkey: -turns his back to Kiba and fartsKiba: WHY YOU!! Lunges but Shino holds him backHinata: What should we name you hmm? Undead Monkey: SCRAWK! Polly wants a CRACKER!!!! Hinata: Hee, Polly then. Kyuubi: Wanna be part of my crew? You and yourparrot? Hinata: ohumm Polly: CANNONS TO THE PORT!!!! Hinata: I guess so Ayame: YEE! Girl costumes to be made!

Everyone: WEAPONS!!!! -Free for all to grab the weaponsHT:AYAME-SAN! YOUR SO AWSOME! I LUVS YOU! amber: HEY!! WHERES MY COCOA!? HT: FINE ILL GET ITACHI AND YOU SOME COCOA!! amber: what? do you WANT questions? ok. WHATS EVERYONE'S FAVORITE TYPE OF COOKIE!?? HT: o.O amber: your baking the all cookies! i need to know thier favorite types. HT: dammit! amber: oh, whats your favorite ice cream too?

Ayame: I love you too! Kimimaro: Do you even know who they are? Ayame: Im sure Id love them. Kimimaro: right. Zabuza: Pirates dont eat cookies! Haku: I want white chocolate chip! Zabuza: I suppose we can get a couple Polly: CRACKER COOKIES!! Zakura: Why dont you just send us an assortment ofevery cookie you know of and can imagine. Everyone: YAY!! Hinata: Wont we over-work HT? Everyone: Kurenai: no one cares, sweetie. Hinata: Thats horrible! Kurenai: But true. Zakura: You can do the same thing with the ice cream. Now I have scheming to do Kurenai: What kind of scheming?

Zakura: Did I say that out loud? Shit. Well, I wont tell anyone what you heard if you give me your red potion. Kurenai: Oh, really? Thanks, its a deal. Zakura: -walks off with red potionKurenai: wait a minute
1.Lee: HA! Nobody will ever rescue Gai-sensei! 2.Zakura: -blush3.Luciful- I added you to my favorite author list!

Itachi: Agin with the lack of questions!! We have no need for useless blather! TO THE PLANK! Zabuza: With who? Jadebird is safely tucked away in Park Falls Wisconsin. Itachi: how do you know where the fans live? Zabuza: magic. Itachi: Really? Zabuza: Sure. Kurenai: -still confusedZakura: Whod I make blush? Kiba: What are you gonna do with that potion? Zakura: -sneakily glancing at Hinata- Nothing Kiba: K, whatever.
YAY!! oh well, 4 weeks w/o Jiraya-sama getting his head bashed...T-T um...yeah Kimimaro-kun is adorable... Cookies 4 every1

Itachi: AGIN! AGIN THEY HAVE NO QUESTIONS!! Kimimaro: Aww, thanks for the compliment. rubs cat-earsZabuza: There are more important issues at hand, capn Kyuubi: So, anyway, Zabuza, its obvious neither of us are fully prepared for a battle. Zabuza: Aye, we need full crews.

Kyuubi: Only one way to do it. Zabuza: Yep. Everyone not on a ship line up at the back wall!! -everyone obligesKyuubi: I pick Lee. Lee: YOSH!! runs overZabuza: I pick Jiraiya: Wait a minute! Its not fair if we do it this was because you already have more people than us! Zabuza: -rolls eyes- Fine, pick another person. Kyuubi: Nice. Naruto. Naruto: I dont wanna be on your team! Kyuubi: Get your ass over here kit! Naruto: I dont Kyuubi: NOW! Naruto: meep. Scampers overItachi: Its our turn now dangit! Gaara! Zabuza: nice job dumbass. The kids asleep. Itachi: dammit. Kyuubi: Shikamaru Shikamaru: I want nothing to do with your Kyuubi: Boy. Youre smart, thats why I picked you. Now, what would getting on my bad side be? Shikamaru: stupid Kyuubi: exactly. So?

Shikamaru: grumble-walks overItachi: Zakura. Zakura: Sorry, I have too much power. I cant be picked. Itachi: Ugh, fine. Kimi. Kimimaro: -shrugs and saunters overKyuubi: Kabuto. Itachi: Stop picking all the smart people!! Zabuza: Youre the one whos doing the bad picking. And Kabutos in the closet. Kyuubi: Too bad. Get out here four eyes. Kabuto: Ive been out for a while now. Kyuubi: Wellwhatever. Sakura: -scowls at KabutoZakura: Eww, you two got it on again didnt you? Sakura: No. Zakura: Thats the real problem, innit? Sakura: I hate you. Zabuza: Shino. Kyuubi: Kiba. Kiba/Shino: HEY! Kyuubi: Oh get over it. Kiba: Butbut I dont wanna Shino: Im not gonna fight with my boyfriend! Kyuubi: Suck it up and treat it like any argument with him.

Shino: but Im not mad at him right now. Kyuubi: -growlZabuza: Geez. Kiba, do you think Kurenais hot? Kiba: Hell yeah! Have you SEEN that body? And I mean shes an older woman, so YOW, who wouldnt wanna hit that? aw shit. Shino: Youre going DOWN mutt. Kurenai: -horrifiedItachi: Kankuro. Kyuubi: Kurenai. Itachi: Well, I guess thats it. Unless Manda wants to Manda: No. Itachi: Oook then. Sakura: Butbut hey! No one picked me! Itachi: Yeah, and? Sakura: ButI Kyuubi: No one wants you on their crew. Women are bad luck. Sakura: You have Kurenai! Kyuubi: Yeah but shes a good fighter. Sakura: -sniffleKabuto: -sympathetic glanceKyuubi: None of that from you, you and Shikamaru have planning to do. Shikamaru: Planning? What the hell, theyre right there, we wont have time for planning! Itachi: Oh please, we have to have a proper approach scene first. Weve got a couple days of sailing yet.

Jiraiya: Exactly. Kyuubi: Whatever. I need to find someone to do some serious wenching with. Itachi: HA! I have all the whores! Kyuubi: Well, I have Kurenai. Kurenai: EXCUSE ME? Kyuubi: Ehyeah, not my type. Naruto, youll have to do. Naruto: WHAT?! NONONONONO!!! Hyperventilates to unconsciousnessOrochimaru: This was your only goal in that wasnt it? Kyuubi: -smirking at the drooling Naruto- Heh, yeah.
Anyway since there is a pirate theme coming up I will tell you my horrible pirate joke: Q: What is the Pirate Alphabet made up of? A: (I) Aye, (R) Arr, and (A)Aye which means that not only are all Pirates Catholics, but they're Irish nationalist terrorists.

-Crickets chirpItachi: So Zabuza: Yeah Kyuubi: Who votes we ignore the kid and move on? Everyone: -raises handThough I doubt this will actually make it up there. I'll ask NORMAL questions!

Everyone: YAY!
Naruto: Are those whiskers just there or are they sensitive and stuff? Itachi: What are those LINE thingys anyways?! Oh and lol "Hollaback girl" (from ultimate Naruto Fan Flashs) I can no longer listen to that song without laughing my butt off and scaring random standbyers. thanks. Kankuro: Is that face paint or make up? (I think the latter)

Naruto: What whiskers? Kyuubi: -pulls out whiskerNaruto: YOW!! What the hell! Dont pull my facial hair man! Kiba: It that what you tell yourself it is?

Shino: Yeah like how you pretend those triangles arent just a bad blush-job. Kiba: I am gonna take you out buggy. Shino: -gives Kiba an I dare you glareKiba: Nggdammit why must you keep being sexy!?!? Shino: :p Itachi: LinesLINES??!?! runs to the mirror- where?! Zabuza: roughly jabs and traces the linesItachi: Oh those? I dunno, its just a couple doodle-things Kishimoto-san decided to add on. They make me look imposing. Zabuza: And old. Itachi: I AM YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL DAMMIT!! And hollaback is a great song. :3 Kankuro: A little of both. Please dont make me take it off again Girls: PLEASE MAKE HIM TAKE IT OFF!! Kankuro: I dont want female attention! hides behind the crows nestJiraiya: I feel your pain young man! You can join our crew later! Kurenai: Ohyoull feel pain
now now Ceyx, you know the rules: 'no feeding of any siblings to sheeps' -turns to Orochi- and blast the bilge rat who suggested the harm of mine daughter. now yer haf'ta walk the plank with a set of chains bound to your feet. hahaha...unless, we make a trade. what have ye to offer that fares enough worth for yer life? p.s. i got this for you. found it sitting neatly round a plump lady's neck as we were pillaging the ship. thought it would look better on you -hands Lucy a sapphire pendantp.s.p.s. rum for everybody! drink up me hearties yo ho

Orochimaru: But sheep require young girls for feeding! Kiba: Ithought they ate grass Orochimaru: Only when people are looking. Kiba: -twitch-

Orochimaru: Sexual favors. Jiraiya: Excuse me? All your sexual favors are belong to ME. Orochimaru: YEE!! pouncesKyuubi: We dont have time for that now. Were closing in on them! Sakura: YOURE IN THE SAME DAMN ROOM!! Kyuubi: Geez get an imagination bitch. Lucifel: YEE! NECKLACE! Zabuza: THESE pirates dont sing. Haku: -whispers to the fans- Zabuza-san is tone-deaf, teehee. He only sings when hes REALLY drunk Itachi: Lets drink! Holds up rumPolly: YO HO HO!! BOTTLE OF BLOOD! Hinata: Teehee. Everyone else: O.o Kyuubi: Truce so everyone can slammed on rum? Itachi: Hell yeah!
Hello Sakura honestly answer this ok :) Would you take naruto from hinata? Are you and hinata friends? cause im working on a drawing :D Would you go out with lee?i mean hes really cute and he really loves you well hes almost die protecting you give him a chance please

Sakura: Its been so long its actually nice to get these normal (if tiresome) questions again. Ok, 1 I would never. Naruto: huh, Im Hinatas? Hinata: Blush. Kiba; Wouldnt you want to be? Naruto: Well noI mean yesmaybe Iumm Shikamaru: Dont break your brain there.

Naruto: I think I may need a band-aid at least Sakura: And Id say we are. Hinata: -blush- yes. Zakura: That technically makes us friends too right? Hinata: Ohof course. Zakura: -happyLee: -intent watchingSakura: Uhwell Kabuto: Go on, you know you want to give him a glimmer of false hope with which to lead him along of the edge of a cliff. Sakura: GOD I HATE YOU! goes back into closetZakura: Maybe when she comes out shell have the common sense to be lesbian. Itachi: Like Temariyou guys should get it on. Kankuro: -cries at thought of Temari not liking menbecause that means he cant have herand because the sexy thoughts make him so happy/hornyi send cookies, brownies, and milk too all of you stuck in ask sakura cept for jiraiya cuz i sent him celery insted. q1 sakura, if you could not get out of ask sakura until you were married and no longer a virgin *be strong, fore i am being force to write this question* would you marry kabuto or itachi, or gaara? q2 will you guys have another suductive round of tickling again? oh, and lucifel, did jou answer my other questions already? i havent read them yet.

Jiraiya: umm Orochimaru: Ill share my cookie! Kyuubi: WERE APPROACHING! swaysItachi: Man thetheHICthe Polly: BEDPOSTS!! Itachi: Yes, those. Haku: Are you all goig to do this DRUNK?!

Everyone: HELL-hic-YES!! Sakura: Ohuh Kabuto: Me. Shed pick me. Sakura: I would not! Kabuto: You lying wench. Sakura: You make the most crap-ass pirate ever! Go suck-off your captain! Kabuto: you wish! Wheres the rum? Itachi: -teary eyed- gone. Kabuto: WHY?! Itachi: WeWE DRANK IT!! Kabuto: DamnI mean goodI meando we have any rum? Sakura: Disgusting. Zakura: I KNOW! They totally didnt give me any! Sakura: Since when was any part of my personality a drunk? Zakura: Since me. Orochimaru: Thats the prize. Whoever wins will have a tickle-orgy with me! Itachi: we must win! Zabuza: Why again? Itachi: Something about rum I think. Kabuto: WOOT!! Lucifel: I put it in all reviews that contain questions unless they break my rules (and Im pretty lenient) you must have missed it or the review didnt go through or something.
oh, the sakukabu moment was so close! itachi killed it! ...its ok, imma itasaku fan too! itachi should protect whats his and kill kabuto for taking his play thing's first kiss. no it did not belong to sasuke and she knows it! questions!

1 who is smexier, gaara, itachi, or kabuto shirtless... wait, all three of them shirtless, sque! 2 sakura and kurenai, what are your favorite colors, and do you prefer a one peice or two? heres some oniguri and a rice cooker with a months supply of rice!

Itachi: Itasaku? Kabuto: NEVER!! Sakura: I need to go boil my head Itachi: was I just offended? Kabuto: Was I justeww Itachi: Why what were you doing? Kabuto: I forget. Orochimaru: Hee, she answered herself. I agree with her too. Sakura: I dont. Orochimaru: LIES! Kyuubi: FIRE THE CANNONS!! Lee: Where are they? Kyuubi: Igo find some! Lee: Yessir captain sir! Kyuubi: LEE! Lee: Yes? Kyuubi: Why arent you drunk? Lee: Because I Kyuubi: Go crazy, yes I know. Why arent you drunk? Lee: I will correct that right away sir!! Everyone: RICE!! Zakura: So what?

Kiba: It just seemed like ti should be shouted Neji: Or slept with. Kiba: slut. Neji: Yes? Kiba: I should sleep with you to make Shino jealous Shino: That doesnt make any sense! I wouldnt be jealous of HIM! Kiba: well then I should do it cuz drinking makes me horny Kyuu/Zabu: MEN!! ENGAGE IN COMBAT!! -FIGHT SCENEZakura: Can I give you a kiss? Please? Orochimaru: Hi, snake-freak! Wanted to know...would you prefer Jiraiya over a super sexy male that will do whatever you command? Orochimaru: Grope every single girl there. Sakura: You BETTER do this...tell Jiraiya that you want to marry him.

Zakura: Bitch, I will steal your cherry and use it to top my sundae! Sakura: Did you drink too? Zakura: Will that make it less offensive? Sakura: A little. Zakura: then no. Sakura: -.Orochimaru: -as he clings to the daringly fighting Jiraiya- nope! This is my favorite! And oh. Okay. -gropes Zaku/Saku with his hands, and uses his tongue on Kurenai and HinataGirls: YEEEACK!!! Hinata: -faintsPolly: SQUWAK!! attacks Orochimarus tongueKiba: GET HIM!!!

Kyuubi: Arent you are on our side? Kiba: Do YOU remember? Kyuubi: no Kiba: This is pretty much a free-for-all now isnt it? Kyuubi: I think so-attacksKiba: AAAAAA!!! runs into ShinoShino: YOU! Kiba: -kisses Shino hardShino: I hate you. -they fall to the floor doing sexy thingsSakura: -yells from where she and Zakura are chillin watching the fight- I WANNA MARRY YOU JIRAIYA!! Jiraiya: Orochimaru is the only for me! Zakura: Hell regret that in the morning. Sakura: Heh, yeah Ayame: WAIT!!!! -the battle screeches to a haltAyame: -slips under Zabuzas raised sword arm to adjust his collar quickly- K thanks. Im done. -Battle resumesCeyx:Man my head hurts; You would think that after 4 weeks the swelling would've gone done. Questions First 'Kaa-san: Can I borrow Kabuto for a chapter, I kinda want to get this swelling taken care of? Please? I know you're Human Identity! oh wait but you know mine... Kabuto: I just read Chapter 356, and I won't spoil it for eveyone else but, YOU"RE A SICK SICK FREAK! Kurenai: Since there might be a random Pirate attack, here's a taser, use it with no fear and control Sakura: You MUST HUG AYAME. You'll love the result, after you get over your initial shock.

Lucifel: Sure, do whatever you want to him. :3

Kabuto: WHAT?! Lucifel: Oo, I forgot they could here me when theyre drunkhey! No exploiting my identitiy! Everyone: -screeches to a haltKyuubi: The boy knows her identity. Itachi: I think weve found a common goal here Kyuubi: Change of plans everyone! We now join forces to find the boy called CEYX and force him to tell us all he knows about LUCIFEL!! Lucifel: I knew facebook would do me in oneday!! Kabuto: thank you Ceyx, I know. Sakura: Godso do I Zakura: -snrkSakura: Oh screw you. Kurenai: -tazers Jiraiya- FUN!!!! starts chasing all the men with the tazerSakura: ummk-hugs AyameAyame: whee!! I have to make you a special dress now! Sakura: Sweet. Zabuza: Wait a minute, if were gonna combine forces weve got to agree on a name. Kyuubi: Well duh, mistress of hell its yours but better, Zabuza: No. Hells mistress!! Kyuubi: MISTRESS OF HELL Zabuza: HELLS MISTRESS!! Itachi: GUMDROP QUEEN!! Zabuza: I like that

Kyuubi: Me too. Zabuza: Why couldnt I see it before?. crashes another bottleKyuubi: Dammit stop wasting alchohol. Zabuza: Sorry Lee: KYWAAH!!! COME FACE ME!! Zabuza: who? Lee: Anyone! Kimimaro: I aint doing that shit again. Lucifel: K, thats it! I am happy to be back! Monday updates will begin as normal! LOVE YOU ALL!! Hides on Frog Prin3s ship-

Ask Sakura 32 Lucifel: Hello everyone! First regular update of summer! Whooo! A couple announcements: Loyalty Eternal as been updated! (twice since anyone reviewed) that is the least loved of all my storiesreviews, pwease? I have a new story, the Wife of the Desert. Im a little embarrassed because it had a female OC in the spotlight (dont like it, please dont read. Its wont be your thing) and I usually hate that and wont read it. But really its about a woman I wanted readers to relate to or even actually make themselves as (she is nameless after all) who is looking in on and becoming part of Gaaras life. I am beta-ing a story for Kryah which is going to be AMAZING and Id really like everyone to check it out when she posts it. (Should be soon, we just went over the first chapter) Now that thats over! On with Ask sakura!!!! -Everyone is still in pirate attire, but the overall feel of it is faded and half of them lie sprawled on the floor somewhere between drunk and hangoverItachi: Oohhh my head. Deidara: Oh, my assyeah Zabuza: Mmm, Haku. hugs Haku tightAnyhow...Since you failed to uphold the dare Orochimaru and came out of the closet.. -Gold switches to red and black spinning pin wheels as she pulls him into her tsukiyomi to veiw a topless Tsunade rapage for the rest of the chappy.- Any how!! To all the girls, what would be your perfect date? And do you prefer boxers, breifs or boxer breifs?! And as for the guys...Who wants to go with us to Mexico?!

Orochimaru: My, that was odd. Jiraiya: Snrrthuh, whu? Whered you go? Orochimaru: somewhere with a topless Tsunade but I started giggling at her boobs so much I broke the jutsu with my laughter. smilesJiraiya: Cute-huggles-

Orochimaru: Kurenai: Oh, my, I havent thought about a date in a long timewell, Im honestly a fan of the classic romance. Dinner and long walks, maybe a talk over coffeea long, sweet goodnight kiss. sigh- I miss the days when that was plausible. Sakura: Id want something that he really thought about, that he thought suited me. You know, like taking me to a restaurant that he knew had my favorite food, or even if he managed to incorporate training! Thatd be awesome! Zakura: Yeah, and then he could see what a dumb klutz you are and get out fast. Sakura: Fuck you. Zakura: Your boyfriend would want to. Hinata: Uhano-stealing glances at NarutoNaruto: -picks nose while watching a fly rub it little legsHinata: Id like something inexpensive but nice. I wouldnt want to be pampered. Something like a picnic in the woods, thats all Id need. Naruto: haha! Thats my kind of date too! Nice and cheap! Sakura: youll never get a girl Hinata: -thinking- I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRL!! Zakura: My idea of a good date? We stay in. Bed. No slow, sweet romance, just hardcore lesbian action, until the sheets have been ripped off the bed and the mattress in soaked in our sweat and other things that soak in, and shes falling asleep under me cuase shes just that exhausted. Everyone: =O Jira/Naru/Kiba/Sas/Kyuu: -plug nosebleedsZakura: Yeah Everyone: BOXERS!!!!! Naruto: ILL GO TO MEXICO!! Neji: HISPANIC MEN ARE HOT!!!!

Kyuubi: ILL Guys: YOU ALREADY WENT ON VACATION!! Kyuubi: so? Men: -fight over whos going to MexicoZakura: too bad no ones going on vacation anymoreunless she wants to take Manda. Manda: -shrugsNeji: HE HAS NO SHOULDERS!!! Manda: If were going somewhere with people to eat Im happy.
*Looks...evil* I've decided to be evil for about...three weeks..*Laughs so eviliy, that It'll make Kyuubi proud* Zabuza: I've decided to make you more Bad-ass then before. *Hands hi ma mini-gun((As Seen in Predator))* That's modified. It shoots bullets -and- jutsu's. Have fun! Kyuubi: Kyuubi. Behold. *Hold up a gold statue of Foxy awesome-ness* -This-, is a magical device that contains all of your power, even the one you already have. To obtain it, you must perform the greatest act of evil possible in that room that's not killing someone. Naruto: I've found out who your father it. *Hands him a huge stack of medical papers* On that, I have put a shield that allows only you and I to touch it. Your father...is the Yondaime! Have fun. P.S. *Throws a female Kyuubi in from one of those fics where Kyuubi is still totally bad-ass, and super powerful, only a girl. Just to see what happens*

Sakura: I was pretty sure all our fans were already evil Lucifel: Cept Kryah! Shes only a little devil. Im training her. :) Sakura: Right anyway Zabuza: Huh. puts gun awaylooks to see whos watching- -starts humming a mix of James bond/mission impossible and jumping from shadow to shadow pulling the gun out at random dramatic intervalsKyuubi: -smirk- I have a statue. Sakura: So we see Zakura: So we all fuckin see, this thing is huge and taking up WAY too much goddam space. Kyuubi: -reads requirements- Naruto, come over here. Naruto: why?

Kyuubi: Im going to sodomize youand Jiraiyaat the same timewhile aided by a sporkand a kitten. Naru/Jira: -twitch- NEVAR!!! Haku: How dare you threaten a kitten!! Kyuubi: fine No kitten. Now will you two calm down and get over here so I get this done already? Jira/Naru: -making a fort- NO!!! Kyuubi: Whatever, Ill wait a little bit. fiddles with demonic artifact he stole from ItachiItachi: Hey, do you know what that does? Kyuubi: Yep. Itachi: Well give it to me! Kyuubi: Uh, no. Itachi: WHY?! Kyuubi: Because I want it. Itachi: Then it must be good! Kyuubi: Only if you say the right words. Otherwise lots of bad stuff could happen. Itachi: Well, give it to me and tell me what to say! Kyuubi: No-goes into closet to use itItachi: -listens through the door for the words.Kyuubi: -comes back out- Well, that was useful. Should have one charge left, why dont you go ahead and use it Itachi, if you know the word. Itachi: -grabs artifact- ha! In your face! I heard it through the door! deep breathERECTUS DYSFUNCTIONUS!! Kyuubi: -snrrkEveryone: -laughs long and hard-

Itachi: -realizes suddenly what hes done- WHAT NO!! BUT YOU SAID IT TOO!! Kyuubi: I wasnt actually holding it. Itachi: But II need my erection Kyuubi: Take some levitra. Naruto: WOW!! THATS SO COOL! WOOOOO!! LEMME SEE THE PROOF!... Huhtheres too much kanji. I cant read these. Zakura: Ohwowits a good thing you cant Naruto: What?! Why?! Zakura: there was amis-printChoji is actually Yondaimes kid. Naruto: Godammit, I knew it was too good to be true. Shikamaru: wow, thats the biggest load of bull-shit Ive ever heard. Lee: Chojis family keeps getting stranger! Sakura; Shut up! Shikamaru: -writes to Choji in the notebook- They say yondaime is your dad. God these people are crazy. Chojis reply: you didnt know, Shika? He totally is. The other guys just my step-dad. A cousin mom married after Yondaime died. Shikamaru: wait, WHAT?! Female Kyuubi: Well, hello Naruto. I am a stupid and non-sense idea made by horny fettish-boys so you, their most identifiable character, can get laid by me. Kyuubi: -twitchNaruto: -blather, slobber, lustFemale Kyuubi: Would you like to make love to me as uke? Kyuubi: NO!!!!! jumps on her and does many wretched acts. Every bad thing a demon can do, he does until she is only a bloody mess that he dumps in the pool-

Zakura: dude, you just raped, mortified, humiliated and murdered yourself Kyuubi: Youre damn, fucking right I did! Kyuubi statue: -Glows super bright and a shit-ton of chakra comes flowing out and into KyuubiKyuubi: BUWHAHAHAHAHAHKEKEKEKEKEHUHUGYEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE HEHEHHEHEHEHEHE!!! I AM FULL POWER ONCE AGAIN!! why am I still in human form? Zakura: to be smexy. And dont try anything. Rules still apply. Kyuubi: But Im stronger than all of you now. Zakura: Naw, I upgraded too. Kyuubi: butiDAMMIT!
KYUUBI! I missed your sadistic bad-ass... -chucks him a weird random bottle filled with black swirly liquidno idea what that does, use it on some poor old soul like Kiba... Itachi so are you against the ItaSaku pairing? please say yes... Naru-Chan I dare you for a chapter to be a whore, you make a good one if you try... I'm sure Gaara and Itachi wud do u, and Dei might like to top for once. June x

Kyuubi: -looks at potion- Ill save it. glares and Zakura- I need to make plans Zakura: -gives the fingerIta/Sakura: HELL YES!!! Itachi: Girls are gross! Sakura: Itachis SICK. Itachi: I TOLD Deidara that was a ill-placed mosquito-bite NOT a herpes-related sore. Everyone: o.O Itachi: thats not she was talking about was it? Naruto: I have to beawhat? Ita/Dei: WHORE!!!

Naruto: -light bulb- -crawls in bed next to sleeping Gaara- Ha! Now I can be in bed with Gaara the WHOLE chapter! Itachi: thats not fair.
All the women: Where the hell is my thank you!? i was the one that got Kankuro to take off the makeup and hat after all! Ayame: You are so awsome! would you please make a dress for me? Zabuza: How do you feel knowing you'll die again when this is over? MiniDeath

Women: THANK YOU!!! Kankuro: -sigh- -pulls hat down moreAyame: Well, sure if you order one. And you get a desicount for being a fan! Itachi: Another whos the only one who likes fans! Sasori: Another, only one? Itachi: yes Zabuza: I wont. Haku: We wont? Zabuza: I refuse to dieagain. Certainly not after coming back. Haku: What about me? Zabuza: Youre gonna stay with me. Haku: Really?! Zabuza: Well Im sure as hell not living without you. Haku: -hugsJiraiya: False hope sucks. Orochimaru: I actually believe him. Jiraiya: whatever you say darling. kissOrochimaru: -thinkshinata is it true u a size c in bras is too small for u? gawd no wonder hizashi tried to grope u. to any of u bastards - if u found out a friend was cutting themselves wot would u do?

oh yeah kurenai, was there once an incident wher after u and asuma wer...u know wotting, was it true the cloth that u wrap around u fell off and u had to wrap toilet paper around urself instead? kimimaro u once said u'd bone tayuya?

Hinata: didnt we already go over this? Kiba: Its true! I got her one for a birthday present and we had to exchange it! Shino: -rolls eyes and wishes he wasnt too hungover too remember what Kiba did that upset him so muchSakura: Talk to them. Try to get them to seek professional help, but dont force anything. What they need most right now is to have someone that will support them and love them no matter what they do. Zakura: no, no, no. What you do is this. You ask them hang out, right? And you bring up the cutting thing, and pull out a machete and say something like; Bitch! You wanna get cut?! ILL FUCKING CUT YOU! No? Thats what I thought. I better not see anything ever again or Ill just have to cut you up whether you like it or not! shell be cured, I guarantee. Sakura: please dont do that. Kurenai: I know as a responsible adult I should say you have to tell someone, but I actually agree with Sakura. Whats important is that youre there to show why not to do that. Because she has a good friend like you. Orochimaru: Or you could Sakura: NO! No Sheep! Orochimaru: Sheep? What the hell, of course not. I was gonna suggest asking her if she wants to stay with you. But whatever. Kurenai: WHAT?! How did youI mean that never happened. Kiba: -imagines dumping water on a toilet-paper covered KurenaiShino: Hey! I read what youre thinking! Kiba: How? Shino: How did I what? Kiba: eh? Kimimaro: If by bone you mean stabbing her through the place where a heart should be with one of my actual bones then yeah. Otherwise-shudders-

Kabuto: -snicker- She was actually one of the least annoying. Kimimaro: maybe. Kabuto: You know you thought it too. Kimimaro: Oh, gag me. Itachi: Meow! I will!
Orochimaru: When you possessed that guy's body, ALL the cameras Kabuto was watching were flooded with red light and there was a bloodcurdling scream. What kind of jutsu produces that much red light? Kimimaro: Why did every member of your clan but you look exactly the same? Also Kimimaro: After Temari killed Tayuya, she didn't actually look all that dead. I mean, a tree crushed her lower body, but she seemed relatively fine. Did Tayuya just pretend to die and sneak off afterward?

Orochimaru: Oh, thats this one. claps hands- AKAHIKARI-NOJUTSU!!!! -the room is flooded with red light, and blood-curdling scream pierces the air. Then the light fades.Jiraiya: Was that you screaming Oro? Orochimaru: I thought it adds a nice touchdo you? Jiraiya: Youre always a nice touch. Kimimaro: Communism. Kabuto: Seriously? Kimimaro: -nods- -reads second question- Oh god, I hope not! Kabu/Kimi: -share a laugh at the scary ideaTayuya: -is soaking up some serious sun in Tahiti- ACHOO!! Blinks- whats that all that about?
Italy was FREAKING AWESOME! I had 19 Gelatos while I was there! That's two a day everyday I was there except for when we didn't have time for two when we climbed to the top of St. Peter's Basilica. (I'll tell you more about the trip later if you want, 'kay?) I'm trying to upload all of my pictures into an online photo album, so that is on its way Lucifel-chan! Gifts: Itachi-sama: 5,0,0,0 euros and 300 Armani, Gucci, and Luis Vuitton (French, but I saw a store there) Naruto-san: Three cubic tons of spaghetti, ravioli, fettucini, and pizza Kurenai-san: 30 gallons of assorted Gelato Sincerely, Kryah

Itachi: Oh my god.

Ayame: Oh everyones god. Ita/Aya: YEEEEEEE!!! Naruto: Its like Italian ramen! cries happyGaara: -grips Naruto around the waisthe can not leaveNaruto: no Itachi: Hey, you have to stay in bed with him anyway. Kurenai: -gasp- GELATO! Everyone: -puppy eyesKurenai: Only Hinata! Hinata: YAY! Haku: -single tear down the cheekKurenai: Haku too. Haku: YAY! GELATO PARTY!! Sasori: -to Zabuza- why is your little kid involved in all the weird parties? Zabuza: -shrugI know this will be late for the pirate theme but: Unlimited Caribbean Rum cakes for everyone!! Guaranteed to get you drunk in three bites or less (No lie). Everyone: What instruments would you guys play if you were in a band?

Kyuubi: Its NEVER too late for rum! And now thats Im full-power its impossible for me to get drunk! Orochimaru: Ill drink with you! Lets see who gets drunk first! -Orochimaru in two drinks, Kyuubi in fiveKyuubi: I lashted longer Orochimaru: I thous yous wasnt gonna git drunk? Kyuubi: Thatsh good shtuff

Zakura: Anyway, Who would play guitar? -Everyone besides Shika/Kure/Haku/Kabu/and Hina raise handsZakura: Figures. Well? Shikamaru: Koto. Zakura: Thats not a band instrument. Shikamaru: Its the only thing Id like to play. Kurenai: Drums! I love them! Haku: Piano! Kabuto: Bass. Zakura: thats the same damn thing! Kabuto: Oh my god, it is NOT. Zakura: Whatever. Hinata: I, uhId actually just like to sing Kimimaro: Hey, you sing? Hinata: Not well. Kimimaro: I doubt that! Come on let me hear! Hinata: WellI Kimimaro: In the closet then! Ill show you some pointers! he pulls her offJiraiya: Good thing Kimis gay.
Ayame- Why you no turn into snakey?! Sakura- Why do you always avoid questions that deal with Kabuto? Hm?? Zabuza- I dont know why but, here I give you a Yuki plushie! (that i stole from Kota XD)Think about the trading possiblities!

Ayame: huh? Waitam I cured?! Zakura: -hugs-

Ayame: -turns into a snakeZakura: you know what this means? Sakura: Sucky writing? Zakura: NO! You dont count as a girl!! Sakura: I do too! Zakura: Not according to the curse! Sakura: That was just bad writing! Ayame: -changes back- Whee Im naked! Sakura: Ill show you! HugsAyame: Nopeand Im still naked Sakura: GAH! bluuush- And because hes not worth talking about! Everyone: -including Kabuto- BULL!! Sakura: -glareZabuza: Trade for what? The only one Id want would be a Haku and Deidara: Wanna trade for mine, yeah? Zabuza: -demon eyes- You. Had. A. Haku. Plushie?! Deidara: No, yeah? Zabuza: GRAAAAAA!!
HT: ok! cookies! *dozens of cookies aare thrown into the room* amber: i made her make every kind. HT: sadly... OMG!! AYAME-SAMA I NEED YOU! can you make my kitty an outfit? please? amber: that poor cat... HT: oh!! and i captured yuki yesterday 'cuz i was bored!! he says hola!! yuki: i didnt actually say hola... HT: but... but... HOLA IS FUNNER! amber: why is the stupid rat here? HT: oh, hi other non-ayame people! ENJOY THE COOKIES!

Everyone: COOKIES!!! Itachi: Howd she make them so fast?

Neji: WHY DO YOU CARE?! Ayame: Like I said. Just put it an order! Orochimaru: Whee! Youre naked! Ayame: Yep! big smileDeidara: Wheeyoure sexy, yeah. Ayame: Why, thank you. Deidara: -leans inAyame: But Im only interested in my brother. Itachi: Your brother? Haha! Ayame: Why? Its only incest. Itachi: yay. Ayame: HI YUKI! IM NAKED!
1. Since there was so much mentioning of rum, I'll donate a couple of bottles. It's the best rum in the world from my parent's country of origin...Trinidad and Tobago! whoo! don't drink it all in one day, I think the alcohol percentage thingy is like in the twenties...and I'm NOT donating anymore than this!...unless Itachi admits that the viola is different than the violin. 2. I dare Hinata to...poke Naruto in the nose! random, I know. 3. Sakura...I know what it feels like to like someone who seems indifferent about you or sees you only as a girl who sits behind him in language arts class! -The Muffinator 3

Kyuubi: MORE RUM!! Drinks it all- Ahh, Naruto come here. Naruto: Wha-ha-hat? Kyuubi: Im going to sodomize you. Just you. No sporks involved. Naruto: O.o Hinata: -leans out of closet to pokeNaruto: O.0 Sakura: Umgreat? Itachi: They look the exact damn same!

Kabuto: They are not! Itachi: What do you know! Kabuto: More than you! Itachi: Nerd! Kabuto: Not this again
Question Time Kyuubi: Welcome back! Did you have fun? Anyway, who's cuter Hinata or Haku? Everybody that unjustly hates 'Kaa-san: What will you give me for information? 'Cause it will take a lot to make me betray her Gift Time To all the drunks: A ton of hangover medicine. Since Lee lost the last bunch I have a dare for Sakura! You must have a steamy makeout session with Lee!

Kyuubi: Haku. Gotta go for the girls that are really boys things. Lucifel: YOUD CONSIDER GIVING THE INFORMATION!? Sakura: Haha, youre son/lover hates you. Lucifer: -does notLee: Oops, I just dropped the hangover medicine in the pool Orochimaru: So much wrong with you. Jiraiya: -faintsEveryone: GASP! Orochimaru: Whoops Sakura: Oh godammit. grabs Lee and makes out with him! She rounds first! Second! OH! Out at third when Kurenai makes a stunning double-play of smacking them both upside the head and dragging them to other sides of the room. What a shame.Kyuubi: Are you coming over here or what, Naruto? Naruto: I cant Im with Gaara. thinks- thank god for sleeping-death-gripsGaara: -blinks awake- hwuh? Itachi: Umm, Oro dont you care that Jira just fainted? Orochimaru: Hell be ok.

Lucifel: Thats it for now! See you all later! Check out the stuff I mentioned in the beginning!! Kyuubi: NARUTO! NOW!

Ask Sakura 33 Lucifel: WHOOO!! 33!! I dont know why but for some reason that number kind of excites me :) Anyway, continuing the story. Oh yeah! Camping theme today! -they are actually somewhere else. They are outside in a heavily forested area by a large pond. There is only one tent, but its pretty big. Theres a perimeter set up so that they can only be in the pond or within 500 feet of their tent. The sleeping people are in the tentA.H.S: Whoot! I'll take Manda!! That way we can kill all the people who try to cross our lego fence!C.I.A: -Bashes with a wiffle ball bat- Baka! Go fuck Zetsu again! A.H.S: We don't!! We're in love!! And were getting married in Mexico! C.I.A.: Oh hell no! I'm not,...! -Morana and the plant man go poof- No! Daimos: Where'd mommy go? C.I.A: Umm...Who wants to babysit Daimos? -Scoots away from the eerily smiling child- Deidara, Itachi, and Sasori...Do you know what teddy bears Hidan likes? I wanna give it to him for our aniversary! -Chucks in a huge ass box of fireworks- And Happy forth of July! -Runs away-

Zakura: -shes sitting on a tree root that kind of bulges out over the pond- Didnt I already explain that no one is going anywhere? Manda: -from where hes enjoying slithering around in the forest- You do realize Im stronger than Kyuubi? Kyuubi: -from up a tree- YOU ARE NOT! Zakura: Yeah Kyuubi: I said HE IS NOT. Manda: And you have only barely enough power to control Kyuubi because he is volatile and needs controlling. Kyuubi: Well, I am volatilebut what self-respecting demon isnt? Orochimaru: Kurama. Kyuubi: Eww, yeah.

Manda: The point is little girl, I am the strongest creature here. And I want to go to Mexico. Zakura: Well shit, man, go to Mexico! Naruto: Snrrrk, do you think theyre flying there on a plane? Orochimaru: Heeheehee, Manda on a plane. Sakura: Anyway, A.H.S. finally gave a review of mostly question so if you would please Sasori: NO! NONONONOONONONO!! Orochimaru: What? I thought itd be fun to babysit him. Sasori: -coughs- Um, yeah. But you know, Daimos is my kid, why dont you let me take care of him? Orochimaru: -shrugs- of course! Deidara: you know hell probably kill the kid, yeah? Orochimaru: Yeah, well, its his baby. He can do whatever. Deidara: I forget sometimes that youre still evil. Yeah. Orochimaru: Teehee. Sasori: -runs off into the woods and pulls out kunai ready to kill DaimosDaimos: -creepily still smilingSasori: -raises KunaiDaimos: -Still smilingSasori: -plunges kunaiDaimos: -stilllllll smilingSasori: -stops at the last second with a gasp- Why didnt I see it before! Youre not good hearted! Youre the most twisted baby in existence! Your smile is not of joy but of wickedness! Im so proud! hugsDaimos: -tries to back-stab Sasori-

Sasori: -pulling him away- Really, REALLY proud! Deidara: He likes the ones where theyre funny colors or have hearts sewn on them. Itachi and I used to make them all the time. Itachi: -smiles as he remembers Deidara chasing Hidan with teddy bears all over the hideout- hehe, yeah Kiba: WOOT! EXPLOSIONS! Kurenai: Not until later. Takes awayKiba: Aww Shino: Its noon anyway. Fireworks arent any good unless its night. Kiba: Explosions are always good. Man, Akamaru would have had so much fun coming camping -criesShino: -sighs- I thought you were over this. Kiba; but were in the WOODS! He would have loved this! Shino: Im sure hes perfectly happy wherever he is. Oh-gets distracted by weirdlooking bug climbing up the tentI have a question for Naruto. Naruto, you've been paired with every possible female character in the series. You've also been paired with a little more than half of the male characters. Why do you think that's so? Anybody else beside Naruto can answer me if they want. Oh, and last but not least. WHERE IS TOBI!?!?

Naruto: -shilw cannon-balling in the pond- BECAUSE I AM THE GREAEST NINJA EVAR!!! Kyuubi: -catches Naruto with one arm and pulls him back onto shore without his feets ever hitting water.- Is that so, kit? Why dont you prove it? Naruto: I will! Ill totally kick your ass! Kyuubi: thats not what I was talking about Naruto: NOOOOO!!! Zakura: Are you seriously wanting to get in that kids pants? Kyuubi: -shrugs- mostly I like making him squirm.

Zakura: Right on. High fivesOrochimaru; Another reason he might be so popular is because all the little nerdy children can relate to him and put themselves in his place and pretend THEYRE getting the wild sex life. Teehee, nerds. Naruto: NO! I dont want nerds to pretend theyre having sex in my body! Deidara: Probably Tobis chilling back at the base. Lucky bastard. Sasori: yeah, lucky bastard. Is carrying Daimos in a basket held far from himDeidara: why are you carrying the baby like that yeah? Sasori: Because hes trying to kill me. Isnt that just adorable? Deidara: KYA! YES!!
HT: aw... yuki escaped... BUT I CAPTURED SHIGURE! amber: ohno... Shigure: HI AYAME! HT: all i need now is hatori!! fluffy: meow! HT: yay fluffy! anyway, i have akito in my closet, anyone want him? amber: also, anyone want cake? HT made one for me, and i decided to share it. shigure: yay! cake! HT: its chocolate icecream cake! yay!

Ayame: KYAAA! Shigure! My love! When we are reunited I will never let you sleep again! Itachi: Wanna practice on me? Ayame: Sure! If you do get Tori-chan send him my undying love! Itachi: Do you have like, kinky threesomes with your friends? Ayame: Well, what do you do with your friends? Itachi: God I love you. pulls into tent- GAAAH! EWW! SOMEONE PUT THE COMATOSE HERMIT IN HERE!! Orochimaru: Well, I had to keep him out of the sun! Itachi; Fine, well go sexy in the woods Ayame: Yay. Kurenai: Why did you knock out Jiraiya anyway, Orochimaru?

Orochimaru: Who me? No, I didnt. innocent smileZakura: -examines her stolen red potion- hmmm Hinata: -pours herself a cup of juice, drinks a little and then runs over to cheer the moping Kiba upleaving her cup completely ignoredZakura: hmm
Question Time Kabuto: Why'd you heal Hinata in the Chunin Exams? Was it so you could grope her? Hinata: You sing? OMG so do I!! That's so cool. DO you sing Alto or soprano? How long have you been singing? Sque Gift Time: Kimimaro and Hinata: All the materials you need to become better singers. Oh and if you 2 could perform Bohemeian Rhapsody by Queen I'll send you whatever you want.

Hinata: O.o Kiba/Shin/Kure/Zaku: -glare at KabutoKabuto: What? NO! Kurenai: Then why did you. Answer carefully. Kabuto: Oh come on! Shes so cute and innocent, I couldnt stand to see her hurt! No one could! Kiba; Besides Neji, the bastard. Neji: -Gives Kiba the finger- It was a battle. People get hurt. Kiba: NOT HINATA! Neji: -shrugHinata: Oh I dont sing well Kimimaro: SHE LIES! Shes amazing! Hinata: -blush- Wellthank you Kimimaro: Shes got a really sweet soprano tone to her voice that is just magical. dreamy sighKabuto: Wow, Kimi, Ive never seen you like this Kimimaro: Ive never found anything so wonderful!

Kabuto: -smacks Kimi upside his head- Its creeping me out. Kimimaro: -sticks out tongue- Heh, sorry. Hinata, keep that stuff safe and well use it when we get back! Hinata: Ok. puts stuff in tent- Whats Bohemian Rhapsody? Kimimaro: Ill learn it for an anti cat-ears potion. Kabuto: But theyre so cute Kimimaro: -blushKyuubi: Why did you attack Konoha? I'm always saying that the fact that you're a giant fox demon is enough of a reason, but not everybody believes me. Also Kyuubi: Now that you're at max power, if you were to use all your chakra to detonate yourself in a fiery act of final violence, how big would the explosion be? Just curious. Finally, I've rented the second Naruto fighting game for the Gamecube. Sakura's the weakest character (and she calls on Zakura for her ultimate attack, which is nothing special). Ino's a significantly better character, and the strongest so far are Gaara and Zabuza (and once I unlock them, Kyuubi Naruto and Orochimaru). Characters I've mentioned: your thoughts on this?

Kyuubi: I already explained this. I will not do so again. Manda: It was a completely valid reason though. Kyuubi: I know! Nobody else understands! Kiba: I do! Kyuubi: No you dont. Kiba: Yeahyoure right-sniffleShino: -blinks at the bug turns a half degree counter clockwiseKyuubi: Hmmm -A HUGE explosion rips half the planet apart and the half slowly crumbled from the aftershock then everything goes back to normalKyuubi: That big, without the last part. I just dont feel like dying today. Manda: Id like to make it to Mexico. Zakura: YOU! Snake-boy! Stop talking! Manda: -gives the finger-

Neji: HOW DOES HE DO THAT?! Lee: Black magic! I will defend us! Manda: -swats Lee into the pondZakura: Good job Lee!! Lee: -gives thumbs up and drownsGaara: -snaps awake and rushes to the pond, and dives down and pulls Lee upShikamaru: OH NO! Hes not breathing! Zakura: QUICK! Give him mouth to mouth! Gaara: GAH! leaps down on himLee: ? was always fineShikamaru: -holds out handZakura: -high fivesLee: UhhhGaawa? Gaara: Ack! springs backLee: -confusedGaara: I thoughtwerent youdrowning? Lee: I hadnt swallowed any water yet. But thank you for worrying about my life! Gaara: -bluuushZakura: Lee and Gaara go get changed. Youre soaking wet. Gaara: Into wh Zakura: GO! -They scamper offZakura: and Im not surprised about the game

Sakura: WHAT?! Im way stronger than Ino! Zakura: No youre not. Sakura: but Im not the weakest! Zakura: Uhummwell, if Tentens in the game then I give you that much. Neji: Huh, I dont think I ever met her, who is she again? Everyone: -shrugsShikamaru: -facepalmLee/Gaa: -in tentLee: -starts to get nakedGaara: WAITAMINUTELEE!! Lee: Huh? What? Gaara: Whwhat are you gonna change into? Lee: Hmmwell, I guess Ill just hang this up to dry and avoid the girls until it is! Gaara: -terrified and oh-so-happy at the same timeGaara and Itachi I give you a leash... that is hooked on Naruto... Naruto you are their slave for the next chapter. Sakura I found a pink bottle in my back garden... it matches your hair I thought you might want it -chucks inShino ever thought of making a flea circus? June x

Itachi: Hmmfrom where Im standing Naruto is right between me and Gaara. tugsNaruto: -chokes- ACK! Gaara: huh? arm jerks- What is this? pulls towards himNaruto: GACK! chokes in other directionItachi: Teehee, -pulls harderAnd so on Sakura: Huhwhat is this I wonder?

Zakura: Lets make a guy drink it! grabs it awaySakura: Hey! No! Zakura: -runs into tent past Gaara who is wrapping the leash around his wrist to pull tighter and dumps it into Jiraiyas mouthJiraiya: -wakes up coughing and spitting and stuff- wtf? Zakura: Who do you love? Jiraiya: boobs-goes outsideZakura: HmmOROCHIMARU!! Orochimaru: -pops head into tent- yes? Zakura: I think this was a negate-love-potion. Orochimaru: Oh no, I already knocked him out of that. Zakura: Butwaitwhy the fuck did you do that?! You never even had kinky sex! Orochimaru: Oh, I will eventually. Id just rather play the game. Zakura: I wouldnt. Orochimaru: Is that why you dumped the love potion into Hinatas drink? Zakura: Whatchootalkinboutoro? Gaara: -leash slips out of his hand- DAMMIT! -from outside they hear Naruto:- GAH! NEED LIQUID FOR BARRATED THROAT! Hinata: Here! Drink this! Orochimaru: snrrk, ho damn. Zakura: NoNONOOO! rushes out just as Naruto finishes Hinatas juiceItachi: -walks over- So THATS what my leash was attached to. innocent smileGaara: -storms out and picks up his leash- Oh, hi Naruto.

Naruto: YOU ALMOST KILLED ME! Haku: -hugs NarutoNaruto: -blushGaara: Sorry -Naked Lee runs by in the backgroundShino: No. Kiba: He basically is a walking flea circus already anyway Shino: -starts punching KibaKiba: OWW! I tease because I love you! I TEASE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! Shino: -goes back to watching the bugHi everyone, you won't believe what i found on my front spet this morning! I found Tobi! Tobi: HI DEIDARA-SEMPEI!(Is punched in the face and flys through the wall) Orochimaru: um, hello? where is the steemy sex scene with Jiraiya? Lee: You. Gaara. Sex. Now! (evil glare of doom) Zakura: Stop being so damn sexy!! and that goes for Kyuubi too!! MiniDeath

Deidara: HI TOBI! YEAH! Itachi: -slaps Naruto- Oh, sorry, Mosquito on your faceNaruto: -growlGaara: Heel, boy. Naruto: Oh screw you. Gaara: You wanna? Naruto: gah! NO! And certainly not with Zakura although she is the sexiest woman EVER. Zakura: -facepalmEveryone: -jaw-dropHinata: -cries a littleZakura: Orochimaruhow did you cure Jiraiya again?

Orochimaru: -shrugs- figure it out yourselfZakura: -kicks Oro in the ballsOrochimaru: OWW! OK! OW DONT DO IT AGAIN!! Zakura: WELL? Orochimaru: A good hit to the head is all it takes, really. Zakura: Could love be that simple?...fuck yes. crashes a camping lantern over Narutos headNaruto: -garble FAINTOrochimaru: The sex will come in its own time. And I will completely control Jiraiya then! Jiraiya: -is too busy fishing to speakhes really just thinking about boobsLee: -is standing so that this one branch conveniently falls in front of his hips- I can not have sex with Gaara! For I am naked right now. Girls: -SCREAMNeji: One is usually naked when they have sex, Lee. Lee: But thats an entirely different kind of naked! Kankuro: It doesnt matter anyway! Id never let Lee have my sexy brother! Neji: Dude. Youre fucking weird. Kiba: -coughslutcoughGaara: -trying not to nosebleed all over Naruto- -failsNaruto: -sputter- what the hell? Gaara: I uhummfell. And hit my nose. Naruto: ok Zakura But if I stop being sexy then Sakura will have no sexiness to her. Everyone has some sexy in them.

Itachi: Besides Naruto. Zakura: -nods- besides Naruto. Naruto: HEY! Gaara: that is so not true. Haku: Naruto has blue eyes! Blue eyes are always sexy! Zabuza: -scoops Haku up- thats enough attention not given to me. Zakura: Whatever. Kyuubi: Ill never stop being sexy. Hell, when I die necrophiliacs all over the world are gonna come to get a piece of this. Naruto: Eww, so didnt want to hear that. Kyuubi: But youll do it. Naruto: I WILL NOT! Ita/Gaa: -jerk on the leash so Naruto falls flat on his assGaara: shut up, Naruto. Youre ruining whatever sexy you have by talking. Itachi: In fact, youre so annoying youre hurtig other peoples sexy. Naruto: -gives the fingerItachi: -kicks1. I've got some spare ramen here...hey, Naruto, do you like shrimp? -gives ramen- be careful, it's hot and spicy... 2. A violin has strings that are the pitch of G, D, A, E. a viola has the three lower ones plus C. violinists read the treble clef, while viola players read the alto clef. violas are slightly wider and you can tell it's a viola by that the C string is thicker. THEY'RE NOT THE STINKIN' SAME, ITACHI! 3. I'm not evil!! I give muffins! -assorted muffins appear. beware Kankuro, they have an anti-Kankuro shield- the most evil thing I would do would be to whack Itachi with my viola case (if I could). -The Muffinator 3

Naruto: Yes! Ramen! Zakura: Where you gonna cook that? Naruto: TO THE FIREPIT!!

Gaara: Who says Im in the mood for a fire yet? Itachi: Im certainly not. Naruto: Gaara! Youre supposed to be my friend! Gaara: Well yes, but Itachi and share a special understanding. Itachi: the frappuccinos are second only to sex. Gaara: AMEN! Naruto: I hate you Kiba: Ill make a fire!! Shino: You go caveman. Kiba: -puppy eyesShino: This bug is way cuter. Kiba: youre mean-goes to make a campfire. Itachi: Yes, thank you miss encyclopedia. What the fuck ever. No one cares. Haku: I do! That was fascinating! Zabuza: Hey, pay attention. Im trying to cuddle you. Kankuro: -dives at muffins- GAH! get deflected into the pondEveryone else: MUFFINS!! Kiba: We can roast muffins! Shino: -sigh*Sitting on a throne made of bones, looking all bad-ass, evil, and totally smexy with his dark red and black robe* Kurenai: I haven't been paying attention to you enough, so..I dare you to have steamy sex with Kyuubi. *Smirk* Perverts of the Room: I started a new order. The Order of The Perverts. PERVERTS OF THE WORLD UNITE! Kyuubi:, you're dare is to protect the person I'm tossing in the room to see what happens. Have fun, Kyuubi! P.S. *Tosses in Himura Kenshin, from Rurouni Kenshin, .* Have fun, Kenshin! .

Lucifel: Thats my lovely husband.

Kurenai: Umarent those dares not allowed? Zakura: Just down grade it to steamy make outs. Kurenai: Godammit. Kiba: That didnt sound all that enthusiastic. Kyuubi: -Smirk.-they go into the tentJiraiya: Dammit! Why did I leave?! Orochimaru: -sits next to him- hi. smileJiraiya: -pats headOrochimaru: -leans against himKiba: WHOOT! PERVERTS!! Shino: youre not such a pervert. Shikamaru: Hes completely lusty towards his older teacher. Zakura: dont lie. So do you. Shikamaru: Not as much as Kiba Naruto: Youyou didnt deny it Shikamaru: -shrugJiraiya: SWEET! We have a group! We can get grants n stuff now! Orochimaru: umm, grants for what? Jiraiya: Sexy things. Orochimaru: yay. Kyuubi: -comes back straightening hisn bad-ass coat and looks at Kenshin who is looking around the area really confused- Whore you? Kenshin: Oro?

Kyuubi: Oro, huh, well whatever. Youre cute. Kenshin: ORO?! Orochimaru: Yes? Kyuubi: -puts arm around Kenshins shoulders.- Dont worry. Youre not very bright seeming, but Im used to dealing with dull people and youre much cuter than the last one. Kenshin:-dizzy eyes-oro Orochimaru: YES?! Kyuubi: -hugsKenshin: umano Kyuubi: Hey, you dont have to pretend to be bright. Just sit there and do what you do best. Kenshin: Wellwhat I do best Kyuubi: Of course, I understand, but that comes later. Kenshin: ORORO?! Orochimaru: WHAT?! Jiraiya: -pats Oros head againOrochimaru: -purr- Hey. For your fishingwanna go out in a boat? Jiraiya: Sure. they go out into the pond on a row boat.
Sakura / Zakura: to each of you a Hawaiin lei(sp?) in colors to match your outfits... because both of you deserve to laid to your satisfaction and specifications. Did the two of you get new outfits. If so, what do they look like?

Zakura: I did, she didnt. Sakura: I hate you. Ayame: But now I made you one! Sakura: Its ummmade of tent.

Ayame: I have limited materials out hereheh. Kenshin: Where is Kyuubi: shush. Kenshin: -shushesZakura: -Is wearing only a skirt and lei.-What? All the men are gay, and if the women are lesbian then I want the attention. Hinata: -gawkKiba: whatre you gawking at? Hinata: Im uhjealous Kiba: why? Yours are bigger. Hinata: But uh, not asfirm Kiba: Yeahmaybe a little-inspectsZakura: -bitch-slapKiba: blarg-falls on groundto any of u bastards but more likely sakura or kurenai as they give the best advice - if a friend ran away but contacted you through the Net and on a phone should you assume they are fine when they insist so and wot else should u do? shino - you once complained that girls didn't like you because of your bugs, is that why you turned gay? shikamaru - apparently you're a bigger perv than jiraiya cos during study time in the academy you'd "read" a book but really be reading a girly mag underneath the book is that true??

Kurenai: Dont assume theyre fine but make sure of it. Ask as many times as you need to until you are positive she is all right. Depending on how much you know about why she ran away it might be better just to let her do it. Make sure she is in a safe place. However, if she is going anywhere dangerous, such as a place with drugs or something of that nature, you have to one: talk her out of it. And if she does not listen, you need to tell someone where she is. Just keep track of her. Itachi: Or track her down with sheep. Sakura: Nooo. Kenshin: Sheep?! Kyuubi: I love my new pet.

Kenshin: hrroro Orochimaru: WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Jiraiya: Dont stand up in the -TIPPEROWBOAT!!Jiraiya: -sputter- godammit. Shino: no. Im gay because boobs are gross. Naru/Kiba/Oro/Sas/Jira/Kyuu/Zaku: BLASPHEMY!! Shino: -sigh and rolls eyesShikamaru: I did no such thing. Zakura: But you have admitted to being a perv. Shikamaru: how troublesome. Kenshin: this is all very troublesome indeed Kyuubi: Aww, you sound so smart.
Sakura: How can I be as pretty as you? You NEVER have acne or seem to gain weight; how do you do it?!! Kabuto: I dare you to make-out with Sakura-san for half an hour!! and Nobody can interfere!! Kurenai: Cool eyes; are they naturaul? Deidara-san: How do you keep you're hair so nice? I love it...that and you're cute...^-^ -Mair

Zakura: By whining a lot. It seems to do her wonders. Sakura: shut up! Actually, I never wear make up (unless for a special occasion) which keeps my skin clear and I work out daily which burns all the calories I consume, and the sweat makes sure my pores stay clean. Shino: And heres a thought: were not real. And who wants to creat a character in an action with acne, really? Kiba: ummwhat? Shino: Just build your fire. Kiba: Built. Itachi: SWEET! Lets roast some wieners!

Everyone: Snrrk. Itachi: I totally said that on purpose. Kabuto: well, -stands and cracks neck- lets get this over with. Sakura: NO! I REFUSE I--! Kabuto: -dashes over and dips her low to the ground, pressing his hand over her mouthSakura, you know as well as I do that were going to be forced into, and youll enjoy it more of you dont struggle. Sakura: Oh umahokay Kabuto: Come on. Theres a nice place by the pond. Sakura: R-right Everyone: -stares after them in shock.-several long minutes pass after there out of sight and then SPLASH!! Sakura: -heard from not too far off.- KABUTO YOU BASTARD! I HATE YOU! Everyone: BWUHAHAHAH!! Zakura: the worst part is now you still have to go through with the making out! Kenshin: What sort of horrible place is this?! Ayame: I like it here! Kenshin: O.o Zakura: Wellshe didnt respondshe must be busy Deidara: I actually have a special clay that a mix to a thin consistency and use as a conditioner. It works amazing! Itachi: Its my secret weapon too. Naruto: But I thought Mangekyou

Itachi: no, shut up. You dont understand anything. Naruto: Oh sorry Oro/Jira: -swim ashoreGifts: Haku-san: Um, you get a moped. Just because. Hinata-san: Ah...A dove? Gaara-san: A gorgeous painting dipicting a bloody/gory battle field Sincerely, Kryah

Haku: YAY! WHEEEE! rides around on his mopedHinata: Oh, how cute. cuddles doveHaku: WheeeEEEEEeeee Gaara: Sweet-ass. hangs it up on a treeNaruto: Uh, lovely? Gaara: -smileHaku: WheeeeEEEEEEEEE.-crunchZabuza: ACK! HAKU! Haku: Imma okjust didn see da tree-faintsZabuza: you fucking bastard tree!! Chops tree into bits of firewoodKiba: CONVENIENCE!! takes and adds to campfireI give everyone fireworks of all kinds to shoot at each other and possibly blow a hand or 2 off. Hurray for no limbs!

Kiba: YES!! drop a firework into the fireEXPLOSION Kiba: Sweet. Itachi: I think the wieners are over-done now Kiba: -checks pants- no, its fine. Zakura: Well save these too.

Orochimaru: -bitch-slaps reviewer- Boo for no limbs. Do you know how hard it is to get your kinky on without them?
Where'd the undead monkey go?? And by the way, it was meant to be shot... But I guess that works too Itachi: Why are you acting so girly? not that it bothers me, it's hilarious how you act like a blonb bimbo(no offense to blonds OR DEIDARA-SAN!) Kurenai: What makes you think that you can't date anymore? There are tons of young men drooling after you (COUGHKIBACOUGH) Deidara: Can you make any other exploding clay... thingies other than birds and spiders? If you do, please show one ^^

Hinata: WHERE DID POLLY GO?! Kiba: Im certainly not burning his remains right now Hinata: KYA!! faintKiba: I was so not serious Kure/Zaku: -btich-slaps KibaKiba: WHAT?! I was kdding! Zakura: that doesnt matter. Im gonna take her into the tent so she doesnt get overheated. Shikamaru: uh-huh, right. Itachi: Because Im mostly a bad-ass to attract Sasuke and intimidate opponents. Sasukes not here and were not fighting much. I can enjoy nail polish all I like! Deidara: YAY-YEAH! Kurenai: Yes, well, I prefer not to be a pervert. Lots of young men: AWWWW. Neji: Liking Gai is pretty pervy Naked Lee: BUT GAI-SENSEI IS AWESOME! How can you doubt that Neji?! Neji: Leeyoure still naked Lee: whoops. slips into jumpsuitGaara: -drowns in nosebleedDeidara: Well-checks rating- teehee. makes exploding dildo-

Neji: Oh OWW. Who would use one of those? Deidara: Teehee, well Ionce tricked Tobiyeah Itachi: no WONDER the kids so fucked up. Deidara: heeheehee.
Nauto: You better be in Kyuubi's arms by the time this review comes around! If not I dare you to be... and stay there until the plot needs you out. Someone kiss Shikamaru*! I wan't to see more of him. * Only men are eligible. He is allowed to evade the kiss. whoever gets the first kiss gets a prize next chap. throws CC Sakura's wand into room. Never know when a wand will come in handy.

Kyuubi: fuck yes. collects Naruto into his armsNaruto: -whimperKenshin: -slips away from Kyuubi- phew. comes face to face with MandaORORORORORO?! Manda: HISSSSSSS!! Kenshin: OROROR!!! runs back to KyuubiShikamaru: Wait, whu -Is kissed by JiraiyaShikamaru: TROUBLESOME! TROUBLESOME!! Orochimaru: In think you broke him Jiraiya: BWAHAHAHHA!! Shikamaru: -hides by the tent hugging his knees- troublesometroublesome troublesome. Kiba: -picks up wand-hmm-smacks Manda on the headManda: KidIm gonna kill you Kiba: GAH! NO! Youre supposed to return to the form you were meant to have! Clow card! You know! -upon finishing the incantation a whole bunch of wind stirs up and Manda turns into pink ribbons which reassemble as a clow card with Mandas picture on it-

Kiba: Dude. Naruto: What card is it? Kiba: Thepissed offcard Naruto: If I were you I would never un-seal that card Kiba: uhyeah
anyways, Jiraiya, -whispers in his ear- i hear tsunade likes you...if you know what i meanGaara and Itachi! i am gonna give you a years supply of meth coffee...yes it exists, try it, theres more caffiene in it then anything you've had yet. orochimaru, i have for you, EVERY picture i own of sasuke...and sadly, some sasuke/naruto/tsunade... but in exchange, i want some porn from you...just something to think about anyways, QUESTION!...horde or alliance >.>

Jiraiya: HA! The day that woman likes me is the day pigs fly! Shizune: Tsunade-sama! Help! Tonton is levitating in the library again! Tsunade: Oh godammit. Jiraiya: AND hell freezes over. Satan: ACHOO! Damnit Lucy, stop messing with the thermostat!! Lucifel: Sorry! You know I like to write in a cool environment! Satan: So go to earth! Lucifel: Aww, but fixing all the ruptures that makes is so annoying! Satan: Just write your damn story Gaara: -gape- -sips- holy Itachi: SWEET-ASS! I used to make this all the time back in the dorm! Deidara: HELL YEAH, YEAH!! Orochimaru: Well, kid, you have to be more specific that just porn. And how much room do you have to hide said porn? Itachi: And if you dont have to hide how big is your house? Orochimaru: Exactly. Kiba: HORDE!

Naruto: ALLIANCE!! Shino: Do either of you two even know what they are? Naruto: yes? Kiba: no? Shino: -sighZakura: -coming out of the tent with a woken-up Hinata- FIREWORKS!!!!! -they all eat hot dogs and corn and smores by the pond while Kenshin sets off fireworks before sneaking away. Is very lovely. Lots of cuddling happens. Not gonna say who, just lots of cuddling. And Hakus ok btw. Naruto gets over the Kyuubi thing and instead abuses the fact that Kyuubis lap is very comfy. Manda, however, is very unhappy. And Shikamaru is still brokenShikamaru: troublesometroublesometroublesome.sooo troublesome. Lucifel: See yall next week back in the room.

Ask Sakura 34 Lucifel: Sorry for the late update. The weekend was a four-day whirlwind. All my fault! My deepest apologies! Everyone is back in the room! Fully deprived of sunlight!
A.H.S: Sasori! How's my little boy doing?! Mommy missed you! Anyhow, -Hands Daimos some glow in the dark playdoh.- Zakura, can you make sure they won't let Dai-chan have any Fraps?. Does anyone want anything from Mexico? Orochimaru! -Glomps, handing another album- More Uchihacest!! You won't beleive how much of these pics there are!! Could you please tell me if you wear eyeliner or if those purple lines are natural?

Sasori: -looks at where Daimos is lying in a padded frappuccino crate demolishing playdoh- -evil grinZakura: Like I give a shit about your kid. If he wants to try killing people thats his business. Hes returning to you after you get back from Mexico anyway. Deidara: Not before I demolish him! Yeah! Orochimaru: But hes kind of cute. Deidara: He is a symbol of Sasoris lack of love for me. yeah. Kiba: Whats a symbol for everyones lack of love for you? Deidara: Whats that supposed to mean?! Im loved! Yeah! Kiba: Ok, if you say so. Im just saying slutting isnt loving. pointed glance at NejiNeji: -gives fingerZakura: From mexico? What would you get us? Employees who cant even speak English, let alone Japanese?

Kiba: Or ninjanese! Zakura: Or another bratty orphan kid? Jiraiya: I think I can hear Political Correctness screaming and trying to kill itself. Deidara: Zakura already smashed it dead. Kiba: What if she brings a sexy, curvy, scantily clan woman! Im up for that! Shino: -SMACKSSakura: Hey, I know! Why doesnt she get us all some keychains!? Zakura: You are so no fun. Orochimaru: SQUEE!! hugs album- I havent gotten a new album in so long! Itachi: Now theyre gonna come flooding in. Let me have a look I wanna inspect my work. Orochimaru: -flipping excitedly through the album- Its tattoos. Im so badass huh? I mean, who do you know can handle getting tatted, old school, on their eyelids!? Kabuto: -rolls eyesGaa!! No, I caused Shikamaru to break! Is all my fault! -weepsJIraiya you pervert, you weren't supposed to kiss my shika! Oh well I guess I have to give you something anyway. umm... have a puzzle box yeah. I don't know whats inside of it^_^ Shikamaru to help fix your brain a give you a 3D chess set like in star trek. Hope it helps! Kiba, here's the bubble card. have fun but be careful. (I hear Yue's gonna kick the ass of whoever took the wand) P.S. the undead monkeys wit me, lucy gave him too me. :)

Shikamaru: -rocks back and forth, twitchingJiraiya: Aww dammitI am so no good at these. starts trying- gah! Dammit! No! It will not get me with its frustrating addictiveness! throws to other side of roomShikamaru: Troublechess? pokes chess set, sits properly and starts setting upKiba: Speaking of cardsmy manda card is blank Zakura: Hes in mexico. Hell go back into the card when he returns. Kiba: Oh cool -Jiraiya starts inching by in the background towards the puzzle box-

Kiba: -smacks bubble card with wand- RELEASE!!!! -bubbles start spurting from his wandKiba: SWEET-ASS!! Runs around room, filling it with bubblesShino: -face-palmsLucifel: Yeah, just so long as she keeps the monkey off me, Im cool. Polly: CRACKERS!!! jumps on my headLucifel: I WILL SEND YOU INTO THE DEEPEST PIT OF HELL AND KEEP YOU THERE IF YOU DONT GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW!! Polly: -backs away slowlySaku/Naru/Lee: O.o
the hostile sheep takeover was a failure because i had to move and now i have to go to a new high school. i try again later(i named the sheep.^__^ i named it nightmare)though do you guys have any more advice on hostile takeovers?(i have the minions for it) for everybody: why were you playing as pirates? ninja's and pirates have been rivals since like ever!!( i swa someone once that had asign that said, "hug a ninja; kill a pirate"...i hugged that guy 6 times) deidara-kun: how did you get those mouths on ur hands??(they're there other than making clay huh?) sakura, you should realize that since zakura is a lesbian, you are too because hey, she is you. so you don't have to be hating because someone isn't straight.

Itachi: Hmm, well, if you have minions thats a whole nother story. Orochimaru: Nightmare is a good name for a sheep. Itachi: Focus here. Minions and a world that cant be taken over by sheep, what should she do? Orochimaru: That is difficult. Well, I guess you could always use nailclippers Itachi: ORO! You cant suggest that to a novice! Orochimaru: Oh, what could be the harm? Im sure she knows what shes doing! Itachi: She couldnt even use sheep properly. Orochimaru: Must be a tough world. Itachi: I dont knownailclippers are just TOO risky.

Zakura: Who are you guys? American fucking airlines? Whats this shit about nailclippers? Itachi: You have no ideano ideaeven the akatsuki havent used them yet. Deidara: I trim my toenails all the time. Itachi: Not like that, dumbass. Of course, we all take good care of our nails. Deidara: Oh Neji: Ok, figure this. Everyone: -figuresNeji: Ninjas are awesome and sexy. Everyone: -nodsNeji: Pirates are also awesome and sexy. Everyone: -nods againKiba blows a few more bubblesNeji: So ninja-pirates. Zakura: Are FUCKING awesome and FUCKING sexy! VWOOT! Neji: Exactly! -Kabuto goes and plays against Shika at 3d chessDeidara: Is a secret, yeah. Itachi: When you have a really annoying speech pattern random bad things happen. Deidara: So not true, yeah. It was a very painful and intense proceduremmmm yeah. Itachi: Masochist. Deidara: Sadist. Orochimaru: I can play both. Ita/Dei: Sweeeet.

Zakura: But Im her opposite and subdued sides. The point being made here is that EVERYONE is really bi and they merely suppress one side of themselves. Sakura: ewwbeing les would suck. There are so few hot ninja girls compared to guys. And besides, no girl could compare to Sasuke. Kabuto: Are you still on about that brat? Sakura: -sticks out tongue- Of course. Hes the love of my life. Kabuto: -scoffs, rolls eyes, takes Shikamarus knightBehold!The power of the mighty 300 in the movie "300" on this 40' tv/dvd combo. Stare at the Spartan soldiers manly figures and laugh at Xerxes' overrated voice. Sakura: Have you heard of a girl named Karin? Shes tall, wears glasses but looks just like Sasuke when she takes them off. Kyuubi: Would you really want nerophiliacs fawning over your dead body, in complete idol worship?

Everyone: SPARTANS!! -movie night!Orochimaru: I want my own Spartan soldier. Zakura: fuck, I just want that oracle. MROW. Sakura: No. I havent. But I bet Zakurad love her. Zakura: How do you figure? Sakura: Well, I mean, I like Sasuke, but youre lesbian, so you would like a girl Sasuke right? Zakura: Ummno. Not at all. glances at HinataKyuubi: It wasnt an actual account of what will happen. I was just making a general statement about my sexiness. Naruto knows all about that. Naruto: -rolls eyes and scoots further away from KyuubiLucifiel: Wanna go have sex, like, right now? Kyuubi: Here. *Tosses him a card* Say, "Smexy", and that gives you a vixen to have sex with. Hinata: I dare you to make-out with Naruto for an hour, open mouth, and full of tougne. No one is allowed to interfere.

Lucifel: -snigger- Youre horrible. Naruto: BURN! Lucifel: I didnt mean like that.

Naruto: oh Kyuubi: I prefer seducing, but thanks, itll be nice to have back-upas if I cant always get what I want. smirks at NarutoNaruto: Whyyyy? Why me? Neji: no shit why you. That is so not fair. Zakura: Ok, but I have infinite interfering powers, so lets saya peck on the cheek? Hinata: -blushes furiouslyNaruto: Sure, ok. kisses Hinatas cheekKyuubi: Come on, he requested a little tongue. Lick her! Zakura: -twitchNaruto: Uh Hinata: HUWAH!? Kiba: -growlsKurenai: Down boy, this is a good thing. Naruto: Uhh-quickly licks her cheek and then runs off blushingHinata: -faintsZakura: -catches- I hate you Kyuubi. Kyuubi: You should be thanking me. Shes unconscious in your arms. Zakura: -blushItachi and Gaara, I give you Naruto on a leash and the best you can do is strangle him! -sigh- Kyuubi maybe you'll do better, -gives Kyuubi the leash- Naruto is now yours for this chapter. Also when you guys train and fight, how many trees do you take down, youre overloading the atmosphere with Carbon dioxide, how do you survive? Also I heard every ninja has their own individual quirk, Itachi yours is supposedly a pocky addiction, what are your quirks? June x

Gaara: -mutters- sorry.

Itachi: Dont blame him, there was naked Lee. Lee: Yes, that would distract and intimidate any opponent!! Stands proudGaara: -bluuuushKyuubi: -takes leash- right on. Tugs Naruto over to himNaruto: -YELPKyuubi: So, -leans in- guess what Im gonna make you do? Naruto: Oh nono Kyuubi: Thats right Naruto: -whimperKyuubi: -lies down on the floor- my back is killing me with all this standing-upright nonsense. Work it out for me would you, kit? Naruto: -blink, blink- I hope you know I hate youKyuubi: Yeah Kiba: Everyone knows that trees used for dramatic training effect dont matter. And besides, the trees we cut down that way are the only trees we use for other stuff. And we dont have as much need for tree-supplies, so really were still pretty well off. Shino: That wassurprisingly well-informed. Kurenai: Im shocked and impressed. Kiba: Youre all jerks. Itachi: No, no, the pocky thing was to cover my incest fettish. Someone thought it would loose popularity for us or something. Zakura: Most quirks are really obvious. And besides, every human has a few quirks of their own, nothing really strange about it. God. Sakura: Well, everyone just wants to know about our lifestyles. Were like celebrities!! Kabuto: Right and youd be the stupid pop-princess bimbo nobody likes, right? Sakura: You are such a bastard.

Kabuto: And I dont even try.

HT: ok. who there thinks sakura and kabuto make an adorable couple? fluffy: meow!! amber: shut up cat! fluffy: -sniffleHT: aw... -hugs fluffyamber: -throws fluffy in the roomHT: OMG! FLUFFY!! NO! dont hurt my kitty! amber -whispers- kill him. he tastes like chinese.

Orochimaru: I do! Kabuto: wtf? Orochimaru-samahow could you betray me like that? Orochimaru: But you guys are aborable. Violence in a relationship is the best! Shikamaru: -glances up at Kabuto after taking his bishop- does he beat you? Kabuto: -sighs and nodsHaku: KITTY!! Kiba: -growlsShino: Down boy. Kiba: But its a Shino: I know. Kiba: Ive gotta Shino: Kiba, Haku is currently cuddling the kitty and will be very upset if you hurt it. What do you think that would make Zabuza do? Kiba: Oh.thats a good point.
umm...now that the viola conflict is over and I'm out of muffins...aha! 1. -grabs a bunch of random household things and places them in a giant pot over the stove.. the green liquid releases a purple smoke, then it turns orange. gets ladle and pours some liquid into a plastic vial. sticks rest in the fridge2. I have no idea what this might do but if it works I'll give you some more. be careful, and it's not in a glass container so it shouldn't break if dropped. -The Muffinator 3

Kyuubi: -takes vial and examines- Rightso that would make this what? A household proficiency potion? Kabuto: Most orange potions

Itachi: We dont wanna hear it nerd-face. Kabuto: Fine. Like I care. Shikamaru: Check mate. Kabuto: Fuck. Shikamaru: -getting up and stretching- thats much better. Jiraiya: The girls keep picking on us guys and older folk. I say we make Kiba drink it. Kiba: Like I havent dealt with enough abuse! Jiraiya: Well, then Shino. Shino: I have my idiot boyfriend to watch out for! Make it one of the bad guys! Itachi: Hey! Were all exiles and unloved except by crazy fan girls! We dont deserve this! Zakura: Whoa, whoa, calm down guys, I know a way we can settle this and all be happy. Everyone: How? Zakura: By force-feeding it to Sakura! Sakura: HEY! Lee/Naru: That wont make me happy!! Zakura: You guys dont count. Hinata: Poor Sakura! Zakura: Lets give it to Lee!! Lee: AGH!! Gaara: NO! tackles ZakuraPotion: -flies in the air, the cork pops out, it turns over, and lands opening-down in Gaaras mouth. Gaara: -gulp- Aww fuck

Deidara: Can your clay be used as a super glue? Kankuro and Gaara: I dare Gaara to wear Karasu on his back and Kankuro to wear the sand gourd on his back for the rest of the chapter. Go on, switch! It will amuse me! As for the gift: So you guys don't miss the wilderness, I give you an indoor tree! (presents a black, twisted, lifeless tree about eight feet tall) It is NOT (wink wink) formerly a certain shapeshifting master of darkness imprisoned in this state by a sacred katana. So, uh, enjoy it!

Deidara: Oh yeah. What you do is put the pieces togetherand then cover the whole thing with clay! Itachi: Works SO well Lee: Gaara! Gaara are you ok!? Gaara: phwa? blink, blink- where am I? Lee: Oh no!! Are you seeing places, Gaara?! Can you tell that I am right here?! Are you hallucinating? Are you all right? Speak to me Gaara! Gaara: -looks around- is that me? Lee: Where? Do you see a copy of yourself somewhere? Gaara: Nobut I meantam I this Gaara person? Lee: Of course you are. You can see me? Gaara: -nods- and this strange room were in. Who are you, again? Zakura: Fuck it, kids got amnesia. Lee; NOOOOOO!!! Gaara: Hey, calm down, I dont feel so bad. Kimimaro: -runs over- Gaara! Gaara: oh, sorry, right thats me. Can I help you? Kimimaro: -whimperhugsKankuro: We have no time to be switching accessories! My brother has no memory! I can use that to get in his pants! Kimimaro: -punches KankKyuubi: -ignoring Naruto tugging at leash trying to get to Gaara- Hey! Sweet ass! Orochimaru: Can we make a tree fort?

Kyuubi: you can make ME a tree fort! Orochimaru: Will I get to hang out in it? Kyuubi: No. Orochimaru: Youre no fun
Haku: I haven't been asking you a lot of questions or anything...that makes me feel bad, so have you ever thought of wearing frilly dresses? Hinata: Same question as Haku Naruto: you poor thing being treated like shit. (shoves narutos face into boobs and hugs him tighly) MiniDeath

Haku: Well I Ayame: I HAVE! thrusts dress at Haku- Oh please wear it for me! Haku: Teehee, ok. puts on frilly dress. Zabuza: -grabs Haku into his arms.- you are so adorablenow let me get that thing OFF you. Haku: But Zabuza-santhe wonder of dresses is that you dont NEED to take them off! Zabuza: -shudders and pulls Haku into the closetAyame: One for you too Hinata! Hinata: oh yay! puts on dress- hee. blushEveryone: Awww. Gaara: -smiles absentlyNaruto: -blushes and nose-bleeds on boobsJiraiya: GAH! You lucky bastard! No fair! Why does he get boobs? Orochimaru: I kind of miss my boobs Jiraiya: Yeah me too.
AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY MONKEY KIBA?! And I know you didn't burn it! Where is my lovely little undead monkey that I gave for you people/things! He better be safe, or I swear you won't be able to sit for a year! Sakura: Why does everyone hate you? You aren't that annoying little brat anymore.. right? Do you people like cake? Well even if you dont't *a giant chocolate cake gets thrown into the room and squishes Orochimaru*

Whoops. Krissechan

Kiba: I DONT KNOW!! I DONT KNOW WHERE HE IS!! Sakura: Hes with Kohaku. Kiba: He is? Sakura: I guess I cant blame you for paying no attentionsometimes I try not to Naruto: I dont have to try. Kyuubi: Get up this tree, kit. Naruto: -sighs and climbsSakura: I dont know! Ask them! Zakura: How many times are we gonna explain it? Lee: Sakura is not hated! Gaara: Geez, why would she be? Zakura: You, amnesia-induced innocence is disturbing coming from you. Knock it off. Gaara: Imsorry? Orochimaru: -eats his way out of cake- Tastiest escape ever! Kiba: I want to know why she asked! jumps at cakeDei-kun: Do u think that having the Sharingan is an unfair advantage as well as a curse seal? Itachi: Speaking of you, VIOLAS AND VIOLINS R WAY DIFFERENT! Take it from someone whose been in orchestra and a violast for several years! The violas r all layed back and go with the flow, while the violins r whiny little pieces of crap who cry about not getting first chair and try to con others out of landing first part! -.- it's quite annoying. OH rigght.. Im supposed to ask a question. Umm... If u used ur mangekyo on REGULAR (That's with Zakura inside her) What would happen? Shino: What's ur real face look like? And would ya show everyone if i threatened to dye ur bugs pink!

Deidara: Yes! Totally! Itachi was always using it in bed! Yeah! Sasori: slut! Orochimaru: they meant in battle. Deidara: Yeahwhy? Sasori: ugh, keep up with your own story line, dammit.

Deidara: Aww Itachi: Damn! Ok! I never knew someone could be so touchy about a bunch of wood and strings. They both sound equally whiny. And uhshed die. Zakura: Id kick your ass so many different ways. Shino: Thisisnt my real face? Kiba: -looks suspiciously at ShinoShino: And no. you couldnt even reach my bugs. Kiba: Dude, dont challenge the fan girl. Shino: Whatever. Haku: I think pink bugs would be cute! Shino: -.Gaara: Ummdoes anyone know why I have a gourd on my back? removesLee: OH GAARA!! falls sobbing across his lap-throws a holy cross at Sasori's baby just to see what will happen- that thing is so not gonna be Ashlynn's playmate. Naruto, i dare you to...make out with Kyuubi and punch Sakura for no apparent reason...in the face. -brings out super glue and try to piece Shika back together but then gives up and resolves to cuddling Lucy-

Sasori: NOOOOO! jumps in the way of crossDeidara: Wow! You did that to save your babys life? Sasori: Hell no! I was afraid it would purify him! Daimos: -wicked grinDeidara: What about you, yeah? Sasori: Im beyond saving. holds up burnt hands- see? Cross almost took them with it. Deidara: With it yeah? Sasori: It disintegrated when I touched.

Dei/Ita/Oro/Kyuu: Niiiice. Kyuubi: Well, a fan-dare is final. garbs Naruto and pins him against the tree-trunk, making out with him passionately. Zakura: How horny must you be to make out with THAT? Kyuubi: -taking a momentary break- not very, surprisingly. Hes pretty cuteand tasty. Everyone: =O Naruto: -punches Sakura as he flails to get away from KyuubiShikamaru: Well, for one Im already fixed. Twothats entirely the wrong brand of superglue. Kiba: woah.. that was such a random comment coming from you. I expected something logical like you cant fix minds with super glue! Shikamaru: Like you can doubt anything in this place?
Oro: Don't bitchslap me you assclown -bitchslaps OroItachi: -shoves M-80 in your eye socket and lites it- You have 5 seconds until you become a pirate again Kankuro: I give you infinite bannanna muffins! No one can take them from you GO NUTS!

Orochimaru: Oww-bitchslapsItachi: This could become a horrible cycle -.- GAH! pulls bomb out of eye and hand to KibaKiba: Whu? -BOOMKiba: -cough- dammit -collapsesShino: -sighs and tends to KibaKankuro: ehehhehHehehehheeheeheeAHAHAHAHEHSHEHAHAHAHA!!!! explosion of black smoke, the sound of things ripping and breaking and lots of howling and as the smoke clears Kankuro is disappearedbut they can still hear him howling.Kiba: Ok, how come he gets to escape? Itachi: -going pale- so he can hunt Orochimaru: Well be fine. We can all kick like, super ass.

Itachi: nonot this. I dont think so. And only Gaara knows how we might fix this. Gaara: is this very bad? Everyone: -DOOMED1. Jiraiya: Have you ever met Happosai from Ranma 1/2? You guys would probably get along well. 2. Hinata: Cutest..character..ever. Where do you see yourself in 10-15 years?? 3. Shikamaru: You are my favorite character (well..You're tied with Gaara) but I have to ask you; Considering how you are the laziest person this side of Konoha, why do you put your hair up in a style that looks like it takes hours of careful preparation?

Jiraiya: Oh nobut if hes anything like me I dont see how the world could handle it if we got together! Buwahaha! Kurenai: Id need more frying pans-smack Jiraiya- hah, this ones starting to get an imprint of your face, Jira. Jiraiya: -thumbs up as he twitches on the groundHinata: -while Itachi and Orochimaru run around trying to find Kankuro and sealing little holes- Oh, umm, well in that time I hope to have become a jonin and just about settling down and starting a family. Id hopefully already be married. And I want the two hyuuga families to be united. Neji: -under his breath- oh, Ill unite the families Zakura: -bitch-slapShikamaru: Oh, it doesnt take long. I have static-charged hair-ties that make it like that instantly. Kiba: why? Shikamaru: to keep it off my neck. Kiba: So why dont you cut it? Shikamaru: Wellthere are times when wearing it downI mean heuhthat wasnt a question! stalks to a corner and writes ChojiNaruto: -still being Vacuum-sucked by Kyuubi- HALP!! Lucifel: So, thats all for now. Im starting another weekly story (non fan-interactive) this Friday. Again, I apologize for the late update. Ive been crazy busy, Updates might be a little sporadic until the school year starts. K bye!

Ask Sakura 35 Lucifel: -wails!- I forgot to say happy birthday to Frog Prince last time! How could I be so cruel?! Im a horrible person! Also, the reason for the late update is that I spent all of Monday reading Harry Potter BLAME HARRY! ITS NOT MY FAULT! THEY ALL DIE! Everyone: -screams and cringesLucifel: Not YOU guys. Everyone: -phewOrochimaru: If theyre all dead can I have Snape and Malfoy? Lucifel: No, but you all get wands and wizarding robes! And your room now looks like (an albeit fairly empty) teachers office! Weird stuff on the walls, a desk, you know. Kiba: -pokes dog statue and it tries to bite his finger- HEY! Lucifel: (btw, I promise no spoilers, dont worry)
I give Daimos a rattle... snake. As for Shika, pick either sexy kimono that hangs off the shoulders or lollita dress. That's what you're wearing for the rest of the chapter. Gaara I hope you feel better, maybe a frappucino will jog your memory! -throws frapucinno at GaaraThat's all for now. Love you all! Kahaku

Daimos: SQUEEEE! starts swinging the snake around over his head.-

Sasori: DaimosDaimos knock it off Im trying to pack you securelyDAIMOS STOP THE FUCKING NONSENSE RIGHT NOW!! Daimos: -throws snake down Sasoris shirtSasori: -frantically tries to pull the snake out and make sure it doesnt get down his pants. Orochimaru: -comes forward and gently coaxes the snake out and then, still cooing at it and petting it, walks over to the crates and sits upon themSasori: Thanks. finishes cello-taping a big box with air-holes in it- right, and back to that mother of yours you go. -chucks Daimos bozo out a window and it sails away to the horizonItachi: I thought youd want him to stick for training and stuff? Sasori: Naw, I trust the rest of them Dei/Ita: Why? Sasori: -rolls eyesShikamaru: Oh my godare you kidding me? I thought this girl was supposed to LIKE me! Itachi: You know fangirls. If they like you, they want to see you in a dress. Shikamaru: But this is insane! Zakura: Bitch if you dont pick soon Im going to pick for you, and let Ayame do all sort alterations Shikamaru: Fine! Kimono then! Zakura: right on! Accio Kimono! waves wand and the Kimono comes zipping inItachi: So unnecessary Zakura: but it was fun. Ha! I have the biggest wand here! Kyuubi: What the fuck ever. snaps own wand and tosses it asideMen: -flinch-

Gaara: -is staring in confusion at his wand when a Frappuccino appear in his hand, his gaze shifts to that.- Waitthisthis isAGH! Lee: -jumps to his side- What? What is it?! Gaara: HeadacheIm ok now-sips frapRANDOM SORTING!! Zakura: Since we dont have a sorting hat were using a sorting protective-rubber. Everyone: O.o Zakura: Im joking. Were using a sorting forehead-protector. holds up a blank forehead protector- So, alphabetically. DEIDARA!! Deidara: -skips foreward and ties on the forehead protector-a mouth appears on the metal and shrieks- SLYTHERIN!! Deidara: Yee! Im cunning! Yeah! runs over to the far left of the roomZakura: GAARA!! Gaara: -looking ABSOLUTELY confused does as Deidara didSorting Forehead Protector: Gaara: WELL?! SFP: Well if youre going to be rude Ill just put you in hufflepuff shall I? Your head seems muddled enough. Gaara: Thats not fair! I have amnesia! SFP: Sure, you do love. Gaara: -feeling offended goes and stands just next to DeidaraZakura: HAKU!! Haku: -skips forewardSFP: RAVENCLAW! Haku: Oh yay! goes next to Gaara-

Zakura: HINATA!! Hinata: -tremblingly put on SFPSFP: GRYFFINDOR!! Hinata: -unsurely wanders to the far right of the roomZakura: ITACHI!! Itachi: -strolls forwardSFP: HmmRAVENCLAW!! Itachi: W-what SFP: You heard me batty! TO RAVENCLAW! Itachi: Whatwhyhow SFP: MOVE YOUR TUSH! Itachi: -utterly shocked moves to stand behind HakuZakura: JIRAIYA!! SFP: GRYFFINDOR!! Jiraiya: EHEHE! YEAH!!! goes behind HinataZakura: KABUTO!! SFP: SLYTHERIN!! Kabuto: -saunters with a smirk over to Slytherin side as Deidara claps madlyZakura: KIBA!! Kiba: -puts on SFPSFP: Hmdimwittedbut definitely courageouswhere shall we put you Kiba: Gryffindor? SFP: Eh, why not? GRYFFINDOR!

Kiba: VWOOT! Gaara: -is looking more and more deserted and confusedZakura: KIMIMARO! SFP: HUFFLEPUFF!! Orochimaru: MY KIMI IS NO HUFFLEPUFF! SFP: He is blindly and stupidly loyal. I stand by my word. Kimimaro: -shrugs and goes happily to stand with GaaraZakura: KURENAI! Kurenai: Oh come on now, Im a little old for SFP: MOVE YOUR TUSH YOU OLD BIDDY!! Kurenai: Flushes and jams the SFP on her headSFP: RAVENCLAW! Zakura: KYUUBI!! Kyuubi: -still in tree- Um, no. Im a fucking Demon. Zakura; Bitch if you Kyuubi: NO! I hate fucking Harry Potter! NO! Zakura: fine. LEE!! Lee: -jumps forwardSFP: HUFFLEPUFF!! Lee: Awwwell, all right. goes and joins Kimi and Gaara and they start talking animatedlyZakura: NARUTO! SFP: Oh, god, another one of these chosen one typeswell, if youre gonna be the hero guess it has to be GRYFFINDOR!!!

Naruto: -rushes over to Hinata and Jiraiya triumphantlyZakura: NEJI!! Neji: -full of stuck-up confidence puts it onSFP: RAVENCLAW!! Neji: Well, dammit. looks at Hinata in disappointmentOrochimaru: -walks forward and barely touches the SFP before:SFP: Youre kidding right? SLYTHERIN! Orochimaru: WHOOP! Zakura: SAKURA!! Sakura: -runs forwardSFP: HUFFLEPUFF!! Sakura: HEY! Lee: Come on Sakura! Were happy to have you! Sakura: -grumbleZakura: SASORI!! SFP: SLYTHERIN! Deidara: -hugs Sasori as he goes overZakura: SHIKAMARU! SFP: Oh my, this is the most Ravenclaw mind Ive ever seen. Shikamaru: -rolls eyes and goes overZakura: ZABUZA! Zabuza: Im just sticking with Haku Zakura: -slaps SFP on his forehead-

SFP: SLYTHERIN! AND NO ARGUING! Zabuza: -goes over and stands with the slytherins and pulls Haku over to make out with him roughlyZakura: And Im head master. Right on. Sakura: What was the point of this!? Zakura: -shrugs- Randomness.
A.H.S: Anyhow... It seems people are really hating me cept Oro-chan...So... 1) To Oro: Everylast scrap of Uchihacest I have on this precharged Laptop...As well as two smexy Cabana boys. 2) Saku-chan!!: A case of Margurita mix. Is it true you have an underwear fetish and are a yaoi fanatic? 3) Dei-chan: Though we do have some past animosity, I give you a brick of C4...!

Orochimaru: Oh my god Zakura: You know what else? Orochimaru: what? Zakura: Well, this is HP-style world right now, right? Orochimaru: yeah Zakura: And what do pictures in the HP world do? Orochimaru: Theywell theymove.OMG!!! starts up laptop frantically and opens first file- OH MY GOD ITS WONDERFUL! Itachi: -glances over- ha, Ill have to really try that. Kankuro: -from somewhere- AAAAUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Kurenai: Was that supposed to be a howl? Kiba: No shit man, pathetic. This is a howl. AAAUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Shino: right Orochimaru: You know, now hes either gonna consider you an enemy or a mate Kiba: NO!! WaitKankys kinda hot Shino: -smacks-

Kiba: I mean, NO, nononono. Never. Shino: -sighs and rolls eyesSakura: -while making a margarita- I dont have a fetish, I just like buying cute underwear, andIll admitI occasionally used to enjoy the occasional yaoi shot. I can guarantee you now though, Im definitely sick of itnever again. And I NEVER wanted Sasuke with a man. gulps margaritaKabuto: Careful. Youre a little young to drink so Sakura: Youre not telling the other kids that! Get lost! Kabuto: -scowlDeidara: YAY! Itachi: You better save that for when Kankuro shows up.
Orochimaru: What's with all the "THEY" crap? I'm a GIRL! Not an IT! yeah, I'm talking to you! Question.. question... Oh! What's up with the long tongue thingy?? And if ur supposed to represent a snake why isn't it forked? HM? Gaara: Why u like Lee? Don't even try to deny it OR play the inoocent act! Saso/Dei: I dare u two to switch ur opinions on art for... the next year! MUAHAHA! (Which means Sasori has to say "Art is a Bang!")

Orochimaru: The long tongue is something that was gained by stealing a body that could do that, enhanced with jutsu and stuff. Its also to make all the ladies pine after the amazing oral theyll never receive from me. and I SHOULD get it forked! Thats be awesome! points wand at tongue- umforkus tongus? -with a flash his tongue is not forked, but covered in blue and green polka dotsOrochimaru: Wellthats kind of cool too-starts waving tongue aroundGaara: Oh, I-turns to Less- I like you? Lee: I always thought you did. Gaara: -blushKiba: -in Lees ear- you know he means like like you, right? Lee: Yes, I am very fond of him as well. Kiba: you love him? Lee: As a worthy companion! Yes!

Kiba: Right Gaara: Oh, oh yeah thatd make sense. disappointedSasori: You cant just TELL someone to change their opinion its a lot harder than that. Ill always believe art is bang. Deidara: -snickerSasori: Well, dammit.
I thought Kurenai might be lonely being the only kick ass woman so -throws in Anko- here's another lunatic to join in the fun... Kyuubi at long last someone who see Naru is cute and someone who knows how to use a leash I guess this won't go to waste on you -gives a sex toy fun kit- have fun... Neji what made you a slut? June x

Kurenai: NO! Dont throw that woman in CRACK! Anko apparates into existence. Kurenai: --here. Anko: KURENAI! flings herself at Kurenai- How are you? Kurenai: ImIm fine. How about you? Anko: Im fucking great! IIWHAT IS OROCHIMARU DOING HERE!! Orochimaru: Anko! holds arms out for a hugAnko: -dives- ORO! I havent seen you in ages! How are you! Orochimaru: Same as always. Horny and sexy. Anko: AMEN! Whos the lucky bastard youre taking it out on now? Not still that nerd of yours, is it? Kabuto: hey! Does she mean me?! Kimimaro: -pat, pat- its ok, Kabuto. -Anko and Oro start chattingKurenai: At least she didnt try to get it on with me this time

Kyuubi: Who needs sex toys? I can do all the crazy stuff one needs with just my body. looks at kit- oh but I guess I could use these a little Naruto: -whimpersNeji: The sex. Who doesnt want a shit-ton of sex? Anko: KID! I like you. You really understand how things work. Kurenai: -face-palmAnko: Ive slept with a couple guys in my time (before I learned better) I could give you some serious tips. Neji: seriously?! Anko: Yeah, come over here and you can try on Oro. Neji: -blushAnko: Like you care. Oros sexy. Get your ass over here. Neji: -obeysZakura: -gapesSakura: Zakuraare you ok? Zakura: That woman is my GOD. Anko: -hears- Would you like to sleep with god? Zakura: huh, hell yeah. Anko: Get over here. As soon as Im done teaching Neji Ill show you some stuff. Zakura: -shuddersDeidara and Itachi: I heard disturbing rumors about Tobi behaving... erratically (not that far in the storyline yet). Can you confirm or deny these? Kyuubi: Why do you let Naruto dress like that? Jiraiya: Your puzzle box is smoking. I thought you should know.

Deidara: Oh, I make tobi behave erratically, yeah. Itachi: yeah ya do! high-fives-

Kyuubi: I have no control over how he dressesUndressing him, however, I can do. starts pulling at his orange jumpedNaruto: NO! what are you doing?! Leave me alone! Geroff!! AAAGGG!! Jiraiya: -pulls Naruto out of the treeKyuubi: HEY! Jiraiya: Oh, give him a break, foxy. Remember, I TAUGHT the man that kicked your ass last time. Kyuubi: Yeah, but youre too fond of living to die and do the same thing. Jiraiya: Either way, Im taking Naruto for a bit. Kyuubi: Selfish old man. Jiraiya: -with Naruto huddled defensively in his lap keeps trying to open the now smoking puzzle boxJiraiya: aww do you want a hug Jiraiya-san? All you had to do was ask! (shoves Jiraiyas face into boobs and hugs him) Itachi: um can i hug you? I have fraps! (holds up a box of munti-flavored fraps) Lucifel: May i barrow Jiraya for a little bit i have a few...things i need to do with-i mean for-i mean-can i just have him? MiniDeath

Jiraiya: WOO-OMPH. pulls away- hehehe-distractedItachi: Yeah sure, as long as you dont put my face in those things of youOMPH. pulls away- what did I say about boobs?! Gaara: Can Ihave one of those? Kiba: O.o YOU WANT A HUG?! Gaara: No, a frap. Kiba: oh. I see. Jiraiya: YES! BORROW ME! Naruto: -scrunches his nose and gets away from JiraiyaLucifel: No. this is a torture chamber, Jiraiya would like that too much.
Orochimaru: Gah I'll end the chain of slaps -implants uranium is his skullItachi: I always wondered what would happen if you swallowed 4 gallons of ecstasy pills, washed it down

with alchohol and sniffed crack so -hands him 4 gallons of pills and a 6 six pack of Corona- It was a little difficult to get this one -hands him a kilo of crack- I dare you to eat the pills, drink the beer, and sniff the crack Gaara: If you have amnesia, if I told you Temari was your girlfriend would you believe me?

Orochimaru: WoahI feel like a mutant. Anko: Maybe you got super powers! Orochimaru: -runs across the room- Not super-speed -tries pull the tree out of the ground- not super-strength-concentrates on Sakura- not lazer beams that shoot out of my eyes Sakura: HEY! Kabuto: Master, come here and Ill check you for any unusual symptoms Orochimaru: Naw, this ways more fun. Anko: No shit, nerdy, go level up your druid paladin or whatever. Kabuto: -walks off grumbling about no such thing as a druid paladinItachi: Psh, I done this before. No big deal. takes everything- Ho shit. sways- WHOA! LOOK AT MY HANDS!! Deidara: ? Itachi: Theyre HUGE. Deidara: Teehee. Youre high, yeah. Itachi: WHOA! Youre right! Im like, IN THE SKY! Look how far away the ground is! lies on his stomachGaara: Not NOW. I have amnesia but Im not stupid Kankuro: -still nowhere to be seen- GAARAAAAAA!! Gaara: Lee: Thats you remember? Gaara: Ohdamn
Naruto: NO! KYUUBI GET OFF HIM YOU PERV! and, I don't think Naruto has had ramen for a long time... I'll give it to you if you act like you love Sasuke for the whole chapter!! Kurenai: I'll give you more frying pans. And chocolate.

Kyuubi: -whines- Im off, already! Naruto: -whimper and hides behind Kurenai- HEY RAMEN! Orochimaru: So, what do you think of Sasuke? Naruto: Igyuhno -ramen starts to fadeNaruto: I WISH I COULD HAVE SASUKES BABIES!! grabs ramen desperatelyShikamaru: -twitchSakura: -gapes in horrorItachi: -howls at the hilaritySakura: -slapsAnko: Ugh, IM never having babies. I wish I was a man Orochimaru: Oooh, youd make a sexy man. Anko: I know! Zakura: you make a damn hot lady too Kurenai: Sometimes I wish I could pull the frying pan on womenwhy do I keep gett8ing more of these? I could start a freaking collection. Sakura: The men of the world shall cower in fear at the prospect.
thanks orochimaru for the idea (sends a sauke plushie...i suggest you keep that away from sakura though) but i believe itachi-san is right(sends packs of mt. dew); i don't believe i'm ready for nail-clippers, besides i'm on summer vacation, this my time to be on the computer all day and be lazy for haku-chan- if you had a kid, boy or a girl what would you name them?? for kyuubi-san- have you ever had sex with the other tailed demons for zabuza-san- same question as haku-chan. ja ne!

Itachi: Im glad you saw reason. sips Mt. dewKiba: You do know that kills sperm right? Itachi: So? Im not planning on impregnating anyone. Anko: KYA! This plushie is so cute! Where can I get one of Kurenai?

Kurenai: -flinchOrochimaru: The fans send truckloads of em. I dont know why they never send new gifts but Im not really complaining. prods with wand to make it do a little danceHaku: Oh, probably something relating to summer and sunshine. To counteract my wintry, snowy life, you know? Id want a girl, theyre so much easier and prettierId probably name her after a flower, like Nadeshiko or something. Zabuza: no. Wed have a boy. And name him something bad-ass like Tsume. Haku: Awwbut I could get dresses for the girl! Zabuza: What am I gonna do? Pass down my sword to a girl?! Haku: Not MY baby girl! Well have peaceful children! Zabuza: Warriors! Kabuto: Umyou guys cant have a baby anyone so Haku: Oh, thats right, -crestfallenKyuubi: Yeah, a couple. Six and Eight tails are pretty hot. Naruto: What are they like? Kyuubi: Eight-tails is all sexy and cat-like, really lithe. Six-tails is a little slower-minded but DAMN hot and great in bedwell, not like we do it in bed Naruto: Eww.
Kyuubi: It's hard to come up with a good way to torture you..so...I decided to -not- torture Naruto, and dare you to not make-out/try to seduce/seduce/or anything else like that for the next 3 chapters. Orochimaru: I dare you to have sex for the next three days. Itachi&Gaara: I dare you both to say you hate and despise Fraps. P.S. *Tosses in Aslan, from Narnia*

Zakura: Kyuubi, youre lucky. Three chapters is too long and Lucifelll forget so its just for the rest of this chapter. Kyuubi: NO! NOO! That is unacceptable! I refuse! Zakura: Then I guess well just have give you nothing to vent it with. Kyuubi: -crossing legs- ALL RIGHT! ALRIGHT ALREADY! Jiraiya: SCREW IT!! crushes puzzle box with rasengan and it fall apart- huh?

-inside there lies a single, cracked ring with a strange symbol on itJiraiya: What the fuck is that? Zakura: A horcrux ring. Jiraiya: -twitch- The point of which is? Zakura: To keep a bit of Voldemorts soul. Orochimaru: Give me thatI want to KILL it. Zakura: Its already been done Orochimaru: So WHATS THE POINT! Zakura: To piss Jiraiya off. Jiraiya: goddammit. Maybe I can transfigure it into something Zakura: Doubtful. Naruto: Oh, cause its such a powerful magical item? Zakura: No, cause Jiraiyas freaking DENSE. Orochimaru: thats ok, I wasn;t getting laid too much lately anyway, Jiraiya: Oh and I was just thinking how some good loving with a lot of tongue would help ease the frustration of this whole thing Orochimaru: -whimperJiraiya: -turns away and smiles evily- muwahhaa, my revenge on the world is done! Gaara: I cant do that. Ive lost my memory, everything that made me who I am. These frapsthe bring back a part of mea little bit of that thing I lostyou cant make me say I hate themyou cantit would destroy me. Itachi: Ill say it. I hate fraps. It aint true, but Ill say it. sucks down a frap- I guess I am witty like a Ravenclaw. Naruto: No one cares about Ravenclaw! Its all about Gryffindor! Sakura: No shitthats so dumb. Those poor Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffsits so sexist. J.K. is a bitch.

Aslan: Hello children. Kiba: GEEZ ITS A LION! Aslan: It is not my only formI did not think is where I would end up after the final battle though Kyuubi: Get over it furry. Aslan: -confusedHT: lets see...if i remember correctly, whenever kankuro had a muffin frenzy i would put him in a closet with akito and then id put a vacuum on his head. amber: and it actually worked... HT: but you dont have akito, or a vacuum... or a flying panda. amber: i think akito is still in the closet though... HT: yeah... anyway,haku, can you protect fluffy? because if something happens to him ill go insane. amber: like when your other cat died? HT: -twitchtwitchtwitch-

Itachi: Well that bit helps a lot girls, thanks. Kiba: lets get to work making a vacuum Itachi: Why dont you leave it to the smart ones kid? Kiba: hey, screw you. Haku: of course I will! Nothing will happen to him! Zabuza: Except he might get punted once or twice. Haku: -horrorShikamaru: -adjust kimono in frustration and writes a long whiney letter to Choji, to which he replies; YOURE IN A KIMONO?! HAWT!! After a pasue Shika writes I hate you-takes out elephant tranquilizer- crikey, today we're looking for the elusive creature called kankuro. -hands out flyers with kankuro's pic- it likes muffins, incest and playing with dolls and screams like a girl. remember, the kankuro is a dangerous creature and should be bluggered with a pan at sight. question for everybody (except sakura cause it's bloody obvious): if you can have a baby with someone who would it be and what would you name it?

Kankuro: -offended by the commentary suddenly bursts out, foaming at the mouth, eyes bulging, hands flexing like claws- GRAH! lunges at KibaNeji: -waves wand without thinking- STUPEFY!! Deidara: AVADA KEDAVRA YEAH!!

Kankuro: -jumps out of the way of both and instead the hit Fluffy and make him explodeHaku: -twitch- noNo.NOOOOO!! Zabuza: It was just a damn cat! Kankuro and lots of other run around the room with spells flying everywhere. Kurenai: Oh enough of this. holds a frying pan out and Kankuro dashes face-first into it and gets knocked outKiba: That was Kurenai: Easy? Straight-forward? The kind of thing you really shouldnt have been to retarded not to think about? Yeah Gaara: I fell kind of sorry for him-lies him on bed carefullyKiba: Oh hell be fine in a bitafter we put his hand in some warm water. That usual helps revival. Naruto: -hands bowl of leftover ramen broth- Way ahead of you.
(bows) Thank you for thinking I am insane! I can finally die in peace! oh one thing (throws a female ninetails into room)THAT IS ALL!

Orochimaru: Is anyone sane around here? If so Id like to know who and where they are and hammer-fist some sense into them. Itachi: Or jack-hammer if you get my meaning. Orochimaru: Ya-yeah! high fivesKyuubi: Oh my godits her Ninetails: Nine? Kyuubi: MustseduceOH DAMN YOU ALL!! Ninetails: Tails? Kyuubi: -is stuck in tree by dare but staring after her longingly- Mymy one true love Ninetails: Ninetails! Aslan: -saunters over- Ahem. Im a God.

Ninetails: -blush- Ninetailsnine Aslan: I can show you heaven, baby. Wanna take a walk with me through the clouds? Ninetails: Tails! Ninetails! -Aslan and Ninetails walk off to Narnia heavenKyuubi: -CrushedZakura: And to announce the housecup! Everyone: -pays attentionZakura: fourth place; Hufflepuff, with five points given out of pity and because Gaaras sexy. Sakura: Thats bullrude bullshit. Kimimaro: I dont really care Gaara: Wait, whats going on? Zakura: In third, Ravenclaw, for being full of beautiful people. Ravenclaws: -apatheticZakura: In second; Slytherins. For being bad-ass and hot. Deidara: WOO! YEAH! Sasori: -rolls eyesZabuza: -snogging HakuZakura: And in first placeKyuubi. Gryffindor: -cricket chirps- WHAT? Zakura: Oh, Kyuubi and honorarily Hinata. Kyuubi: I dont carelife has no meaningI fucking HATE lions. Naruto: HEY! Why didnt we place?!

Zakura: Oh come on, everyone knows Gryffindors are an annoying bunch of stuck-up heroes with angst problems. Fuck off. Lucifel: K, so, yeah. My (only one day) late chapter. Im embarrassed about the Harry Potter thing, but I thought it would be a fun theme people could relate to. Plus, the last book made me like Harry Potter againalthough Harry himself is still an angsty bitch. Also, if youre digging the NaruKyuu, my new story Summer Wind (updating Fridays) is about that. So yeah K bye!

Ask Sakura 36 Lucifel: So, my excuse THIS time, is that Ikilled my computer. breaks down- I DIDNT MEAN TO!!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING! I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE READ THE INSTRUCTIONS AND WARNINGS MORE CLEARLY!! I KNOW I SHOULDNT HAVE DONE THE SYSTEM RESOMETHING!!! IM SORRY!! And worst of all I lost my new fanfiction! I loved that fanfiction! I actually made a Harry Potter fic and wasnt ashamed! I DONT WANNA RE-WRITE IT!! Zakura: -bitch-slapsLucifel: At least I didnt lose as much as my sisterhehe. Zakura: Thats the tormenting captive we know and hate. Lucifel: Aww. You make me blush. Zakura: Thats your cheek stinging. Lucifel: Fuck you. Orochimaru: WHERE DID ANKO GO?!

Zakura: We shagged, she left. She was a throw-in, she can do that. Ayame: so can I Zakura: no.
Orochi: you are the only one that i think that can answer this one so. (clears throat) would have sex with a clone of yourself be considered Gay sex, Masterbation, or just regular sex? Haku: um...here (hands a replica of the cat that got blown up) so you don't get in trouble. Everyone else: well last time i asked for this Sakura said it was only a request so, I DARE you to have another tickle orgy HA take the you pink haired bimbo! (evil laughter) MiniDeath

Orochimaru: OhhmmInowaitmaybe itsI need to think about this. sits and thinksKyuubi: -plots the death of AslanHaku: -twitch- this doesnt clean the gore off my kimono Zabuza: Lets just take that kimono off Sakura: Iuh Jiraiya: YOU HEARD THE WOMAN! I got dibs on Kurenai! Kurenai: -blocks with skilletDeidara: TICKLE ORGY??!? YEEEE!! jumps at SasoriSasori: I dont Deidara: -ticklesSasori: Im not Deidara: -ticklesssssSasori: Deidaraaa Deidara: -TICKLESSasori: IM NOT TICKLISH!! Everyone: -screeches to a haltDeidara: -cries a little-

Sasori: Wwhat? Whats wrong with everyone? Itachi: Thatsthats unacceptable. Neji: How do you survive not being ticklish?! Sasori: A lot less laughter Itachi: So THATS whats wrong with you? Sasori: Its actually what I find most right. Deidara: -cries a lot moreItachi: Were gonna fix thishold off the tickle orgy until we do. Sasori MUST be a part of it!! Jiraiya: Who the fuck says?! Zakura: I agree. Everyone has to be in. Jiraiya: I hate you. Kurenai: Maybe I can find a place to hide before then A.H.S: -Shrugs- Anyhow...Thank you Sasori for watching Daimos. -Coughes, handing Shino a dime bag- That's some good stuff man...Have you ever used your bugs to spy on Kiba in the shower?! -Stars in her eyes- OMG!! ITS ANKO!! Your my favorite Jounin! Teach me the ways of your badassness!! And why do you always lick your kunai? Oh yeah...Sorry Oro-kun but Manda decided to stay in Mexico abit longer...He's gained a few pounds...x.x...Dei-chan!! Can you ever forgive me?! -Hands a Mocha Moolate.These are basically frozen fraps with ice cream in it...Very nummy!! Sasori: Youre welcomenever again. Itachi: He didnt seem that badI thought you liked him ok. Sasori: Its still babysitting. Stop poking me, Im not ticklish. Itachi: I need feathers Sasori: -glareOrochimaru: Well, since anko left Ill just tell you its because she emulates me. Kurenai: I dont doubt it

Orochimaru: Mandas still in mexico?! Kiba: -checks card- Nohes backbut he does look fatter Orochimaru: You just insulted my Mandas weightOne more reason hell eat you when he gets out Kiba: yeesh Deidara: No, yeah! I will never forgive you, yeah! Take this Gaara yeah-hands to GaaraGaara: Oh umok? Is the guy knocked out on the bed ok? Kimimaro: Hell be finefrom what I understand you used to do it all the time Gaara: I did? covers mouth- oh my god, I feel so bad. Lee: Gaara! Youre so sensitive now! Gaara: thank you? Lee: Youre welcome!
Kyuubi: *Laughing openly at him* Bwhahaha! Because I threw in Aslan, you didn't get to seduce Ninetails! That's great...Anyhow, I've got a dare for you. I dare you to give me all your power for one chapter. Gaara: *Give him a lot of fraps...with a sleeping potion in them* Here, a present. They have an antieveryone but you shield. Zabuza: Your turn for torture. I dare you to not to start a make-out session with Haku. Only Haku can do that. And I'm giving Haku nail polish of all kinds, after removing his current nail polish. *Evil cackle* P.S.*Tosses in Darth Maul and Obi Wan, from Episode One of Star Wars, with their lightsabers*

Kyuubi: No. Zakura: Kyuubi you have to Kyuubi: No. Sakura: It is a dare Kyuubi Kyuubi: No. Lucifel: Dont make ME Kyuubi: I. Said. NO!!!!!!!!! ZakSakLuc: ACK! OK!

Kyuubi: -sits fuming in the tree- fucking asslan Kiba: -snrrrrk- asslan Orochimaru: Dude, Kyuubi, you just dominated the dominatrixes. Kyuubi: I dont care! There are only two people I wanna dominate: Ninetails, sexually, and Aslan, by beating him until he is bleeding his organs out of every orifice! Kiba: That wasthat was graphicthat was a graphic thing to say Kyuubi: Ill graphic your ass. Kiba: Please dont Gaara: Why are you giving me a sleeping potion?! Thats sick! Lee: Oh, no, see, before this you were a demonic, insomniac maniac who was in desperate need of sleep so he thinks hes helping you. Gaara: -horrified- ImIm a demonic maniac? Lee: Well, you wereactuallyno, I think its still inside you Gaara: -clutches stomach- oh my god-goes and sits in depressionNaruto: Well you fucked that up, Lee. Lee: I thought he wanted to know who he was! Naruto: -glareZabuza: IwhatNO!! Haku: -GASP- Must paint nails! Zabuza: Ino! Haku: Yesssss!! Zabuza: This is so much worse than being dead. Obi Wan: Darth! No! I saw my master kill you!

Darth Maul: -checks stomach, is solid, shrugsObi Wan: FineIll finish what he started-pulls out lightsaberKiba: -snrrrrkDarth Maul: -puts on both ends of his lightsabersKiba: -SNRRRKObi: Now well Ayame: OMG SEXY!! glomps Obi wanOrochimaru: -goes up to Darth Maul- wanna work for me? Darth: I already have a master Orochimaru: Naw, youre dead and stuck in a fucked up anime fanfiction, you can do whatever you want!! Darth: Whatever I want, you say? Orochimaru: -nodsDarth: -tosses aside his light-saber, saunters dramatically over to Obi Wan and dips him old-movie style and kisses him passionatelyItachi: WOOT! YEAH MAUL!! Obi Wan: -stands up again, looking stunned and dizzy, stares at Darth Maul and starts to cry a little- Maul, youI never thoughtthis is the happiest day of my life! Jumps on Darth Maul and they tumble to the floor and begin making outEveryone: -stunnedOrochimaru: I meant uranium bomb sorry typo Gaara: I don't see whats so bad about not sleeping, I haven't slept in 9 days, last time I did that I passed out on my front lawn and it started raining right after and I didn't wake up and wound up catching some pneumonia or something like that

Orochimaru: Ohhuh-smokes starts issuing from his ears and he begins glowing greenish yellow- Good thing I had my brain and left lung flipped around so I guess now Ill just have to do with one lungho well. HEY! Im glowing! tries to run over to JiraiyaJiraiya: NO! stay away! Youre radio-active!

Orochimaru: Sweet! I wanna try biting someone and turn them into spider man! Darth Maul: -taking a break from snogging Obi- You know what else Ive always wanted to do? Obi Wan: What is it darling? Darth Maul: get SMASHED!! pulls out a case of beerObi Wan: Oh II dont knowI am a Jedi Maul: I will share with you something very deep that strange glowing man told mewe can do ANYTHING here. Obi Wan: you playin with me Maul? Maul: Hells no, man. Havent you ever wanted to take a break? ObiWan: -cracks a grin- Well what are you waiting for?! Hand me one of them bad boys! -they commence the getting drunkGaara: All I wanna do now is sleepbut I cantfor some reason I cant-curls up and lies downKimimaro: -sits beside him and pats his shoulderOrochimaru: Im the color of Mountain dew!! Kabuto: You are doing to Sakura what you accuse her of doing to Lee. Are you confused? Frustrated over your relationship with Oro? Do you actual like Sakura on some level? Or do you just have a stick up your ass? Orochimaru: -looks down Kabutos pants- YUP! I see the stick! Kabuto: Orochimaru-sama, youre embarrassing me and yourself. Orochimaru: I stopped getting embarrassed a LONG time ago. I take over bodies and attack things with my tongue, for gods sake. Maul: You DO? Wicked Obi wan: Hee, youre wicked. Maul: Heehee.

Kabuto: Anyway, I am NOT doing any such thing to Sakura. I have no idea what youre talking aboutyoure a bitch. folds arms and sulksKimimaro: -smiles and rolls his eyesumm, haku-chan zabuza you do realize i said IF you had akid. you could always adopt, cuz there's always some stupid 16 year old that gets pregnant and can't take care of the baby. i think haku-chan would be a great mother/parent^__^ kyuubi: have you ever met youko kurama or shippo. are they related to you??(they're foxes) (sends anko a kurenai plushie) to everyone: if you want new gifts just say what you want, there are plenty of fangirls reading this waiting for your beck and call. Haku: -GASP- WE SHOULD ADOPT!! Zabuza: Uh, ummahdid you notice how well these two colors of nailpolish look together? thrusts nailpolish at HakuHaku: oooh-starts re-thinking nail-colorsZabuza: Phew Kyuubi: Someones doesnt read the story very well. YES Ive met Yoko. Zakura: you think people actually pay attention? Pssh, yeah right. Sakura: So were in here for NOTHING?! Zakura: Practically. I mean, with all the repeated questions and dares and gifts we get youd think as much wouldnt you? Sakura: Well dammit Kyuubi: Anyway, I have no idea who Shippo is. Which must mean he is WORTHLESS. Maul: You have tails. staresKyuubi: -sighs and kicks Maul awayJiraiya: I CALL DIBS ON THE PRESENTS SENT TO ANKO!! grabs plushie and shoves in secret pocket inside hisumshirt Kurenai: Why? What did they send you?! Jiraiya: nothingnothing

Kurenai: -suspicious glaringJiraiya: Who taught you to summon toads? I remember at least two before you on the contract. Kyuubi: I've been too nice to you lately, so... (gives Naruto a kimono with demon-repelling wards) that's for being all whiney about Aslan taking your girl! (Throws a giant floating eyeball into the room) I dare whoever thinks they're the bravest in the room to poke this eye

Jiraiya: Oh, this one will shock you. Everyone: -leans inJiraiya: The one who taught me how to summon Everyone: -holds breathJiraiya: Was Everyone: -widens eyesJiraiya: MY SENSEI!! BUWAHAHAHA! BITCHES!! Zakura: -bitchslapsKyuubi: -looks at Naruto stumbling around in Kimono- I dont even like my boys in dressesat least not when they cant wear them well. Naruto: ACK! trips over skirtEveryone: -looks at eyeball- EWW. Lee: I am the bravest and most youthful! I will do it! pokes eyeball-stillnessSakura: So it doesnothing? Lucifel: Well, I couldnt think of anything. Lee: -shrugs and starts to walk away.Eyeball: -eats LeeLucifel: I lied! Everyone: -twitchGaara: -horrified-

Eyeball: burp. Sakura: -screams and faintsKabuto: Wowthat eyeball just incapacitated two of the most annoying people here can we get some more of these? Zakura: Hey jackass, why dont you go get Lee then? Kabuto: What ME?! Zakura: Yeah, you asshole. Kabuto: WHY?! Hell come back eventually Zakura: Just go. glaresKabuto: Fine, but so help me if this is another D&D campaign-jabs eyeball and it eats himZakura: Sweet, when Sakura wakes up shell doubly horrified. Kurenai: You are a horrible person.
(jumps off cliff and becomes a ninetails) WTF? I wanted to die damnit! Well, I guess i'll have to stay for the rest of the chapter till it wears off. I wonder if this makes me immortal? or dead? And yes I'm a she.

Zakura: First of allno. No one comes in this room except to receive hugs and give kisses. During which times they can do NOTHING. Kyuubi: Second of all, how dare you be so presumptuous as to think any old Ninetails will do?! I have one, very specific in mind, and it certainly isnt some FAKE ninetails who just happened to jump off the cliff of turning-into pokemonKiba: DudeI SO wanna find that place. Shino: why oh Why do I put up with you? Itachi: Cause hes the only one who will go out with you. Everyone else thinks youre WEIRD. attacks Sasoris feet with feathers1. Gaara: I just saw your fight with Kimimaro in Ep. 126 and I have to say, that was the coolest fight I've ever seen. On a related note, your Ryuusa Bakuryu(Desert Avalanche) use up more chakra than your ultimate defense? 2. Shikamaru: Is there an ultimate or evolved form of the Kagemane no Jutsu(Shadow Copy/Possesion Skill)? Perhaps one that doesnt have a time limit? 3. Sakura: I guess Shikamaru was right when he called you a "ninja with no particular talent". Do you have any skills besides your meager medical skills?

Gaara: Really? I wouldnt knowwait, why did I fight Kimi? Hes my friend

Kimimaro: I wasnt always. Gaara: -looks ready for another breakdown.Kimimaro: But now were cool! Completely! Best pals, even! Gaara: -smiles weakly and leans against Kimis shoulder- Oh, and I dont know. I dont remember whatever it is youre talking about. snifflesShikamaru: Not really, the time limit just gets longer the more advanced you get. My father can last for more than twice as long as me. Kiba: -snickerShikamaru: Pervert. Sakura: -waking up upon being insulted- Ok, just because I dont have any specialty or blood-line jutsu doesnt mean Im not a good ninja! Kiba: LIES! Sakura: Im just a ninja who sticks to and masters the basics! I kick ass! Kiba: LIES! Sakura: -drop-kicks- Hey, wheres Kabuto? Meanwhile: Kabuto: Where the hell are we? Lee: I dunno. Its very crowded thoughand theres lotsa food and some drinks Kabuto: -shuffles through stacks and stacks of paper scraps and plushies and effigies of people- I think were where all the discarded bits of reviews go Lee: -through a mouthful of old food- Seriously? Kabuto: Yeahhow are we supposed to get out of here? Lee: Im sure my youthful energy will get us out in no time! Kabuto: You work with that. Zakura: Ok, ATTENTION EVERYONE!

Everyone: -attentionsSakura: I SAID, Wheres Kabuto? Zakura: In the eye, now Sakura: -WhimperZakura: now, we have a new fan, named He-Yan. Itachi: And? Zakura: and wellshe read the whole thing this weekand left like twenty reviews. Itachi: W-what? Orochimaru: YAY! Kiba: so? Well have to answer a shit-ton of reviews either way Naruto: I dont wanna answer twenty questions from the same person! What if they dont like ramen?! I cant go that long without ramen!! Hinata: Im sure weve got some left overyeah, heres some. Naruto: Youre a life-saver Hinata! I love you! hugsHinata: -faintsZakura: -running over and waving smelling-salts under Hinatas nose- Im deleteing a lot, but were still giving leniencebecause shes funny. Thats right, Im showing blatant favoritism. Sue me. Deidara: Can we really, yeah? Zakura: Of course not.
AND NOW! THE REVIEWS OF HE-YAN!! ANSWERED ONE AT A TIME!!

Konichiwa mina-san! Sakura-chan, I have a 'special' question for you *grins evilly* WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MOPING OVER Uke-chan(Sasuke) WHEN YOU ARE STUCK IN A ROOM FULL WITH INCREDIBLY HOT AND POWERFUL MEN THAT WOULD CAUSE ANY FANGIRL TO DIE FROM DEHYDRATION(read drooling too much) ? Zakura: Ah, the requisite, wtf is wrong with Sakura question. smile- Moving on.

Sakura: -glowers- I dont like this girl. Zakura: I do. Youre being a bad host. smacksI would also like to extend comfort hugs to anyone who feels they need them.

Jiraiya: HUG FROM YOUNG GIRL YES!! Kurenai: -raises skilletJiraiya: I meancomfort me? Gaara: I could use a hug Kimimaro: -hugsKankuro: -in his sleep, hugsGaara: -blushesone present for Kabuto if he has a make out session with Sakura-chan... and not in the dam pool room this time... why deny your room mates the viewing privilliges? *hold box containing smexi elton jhon glasses*

Zakura: Aww since Kabu aint here, hell just have to not get the glasses, rejected! Kabuto: -glasses collide with his head- OWW! WTF?! Lee: What are these? Kabuto: OMFG!! snatches- This isthis isIwow-sits and stares at them in awe.Second Maru-kun ^_^ As hot as you were/cute as you are I want to know if you would ever have your tounge pierce?? or if you could have anywhere pierced where would it be?? Shikamaru: Ium Kiba: -holds mouth open- DUDE! It IS pierced! Shikamaru: Get away from me! Kiba: when did you get that pierced?! Shikamaru: Right, because you need to know about every moment of my life. Choji got something pierced too-secret smile-

1)If you're in a room with no doors or windows... how the hell are you getting oxygen? plus please don't die Sakura: I guess their must be crackssomewhere Neji: All I now is, I am still breathing, and panting, and if we keep discussing this that my stop. Kiba: You? Stop being a slut? Nevar. Neji: -smacks2)People have said they got in via the pool drain... so why hasn't anyone tried to get out that way?? Naruto: -runs to the pool and dives at the drainFACEPLANTS- Owwthat is a surprisingly small drain Sakura: you idiotand now youre on the bottom of a putrid pool. Naruto: -climbing out.- why is that pool so gross now?! Sakura: Kind of been sitting there with random crap lying in it for ages, with no real filtration systemrightwonder why. Naruto: Ewwwhey wait dont Sakura: -slams door and locks him inNaruto: Aww. Sakura: When you dont stink any more well let you out.
Also a challenge for Itachi *grins evilly* This is a bottle of chocolate sauce Spread it over your six pac and see how many people you cna get to lick it off ^_^

Itachi: RIGHT ON! leaves Sasori alone a moment, rips open his shirt and covers himself in chocolate.- LICK ME!!! Neji/Dei/Oro/Maul/Obi: -pounce and lick in earnestItachi: Alright, alright, teehee, Sasori? Sasori: no. Itachi: You know you wanna. pulls face to stomach-

Sasori: -bitesItachi: you dont need to be so eager! turns to Kurenai- And you, I know you want some of this. Kurenai: -bitch-slapsItachi: Come on! Its chocolate! Rich, creamy, chocolate. Kurenai: -whimper- II dontGAH! flings at his stomach and licks furiouslyItachi: -lounges and lets multiple people lick his stomach- I feel sexy.
Maru-dono. PLEASE reassure me that you are not one of those furries?? *looks worried*

Orochimaru: Butof course I am. Everyone: O.o Haku I have a present for you *gives giant box* I went shopping and got lots of wuvly fabric for you to make your own kimono's plus you already have needles and there is thread in there... somewhere Haku: YAY! Im getting so many presents! So exicting! Zabuza: You are all making my life miserable and you will PAY!! his eyes burnNeji I know you keep going on about how sluttish you are but really is there anyone you wouldn't do?? Neji: Kiba. Kiba: Dont think about it or anything-sulksShino: Why are you upset about this? Kiba: Its offensive! Im plenty sexy! Shino: humph. 1)Itachi would you make out or go further with Hinata even if you are gay? Itachi: Ok, heres the situation. Hinata is ADORABLE, but in the kitty way, and I, unlike Oro, am not a furry. Orochimaru: youre missing out.

Jiraiya: Word. Orochimaru: hee, -jumps into Jiraiyas lapJiraiya: -cuddles2)Kimimaro is your hair naturally like that? or are you just so hot you can get away with dying it? Kimimaro: Its naturally this color, but the style is my hotness all the way. Gaara: -gigglesOrochimaru: Since when did you have an ego? Kimimaro: Since I was talking about my hair. Ive always been proud of my hair. 3)Where Kakashi?? Where is my droolworth Kakashi-kun? Seriously when your trying to collect hot peoples in one room and you miss Kakashi thats deranged... Orochimaru: If this was about whos hot I can think of several people that would not be here. stares at Naruto and KibaKiba: Hey! I am ruggedly sexy! Naruto: You are? Kiba: -sticks out tongueKurenai: And mature too. Kiba: your mom was really mature last night. Kurenai: Which would mean even a dead person turned you down. Shino: Want some ice for that burn? Challenge! Everytime you get a dare you have to pass it on to the person you know will want to murder people for making them do it... Everyone: -evil grinningalso I want a vote from you all Who's smexier, Maru-dono or Itachi-kun? Zakura: Show of hands, whos for Itachi? Itachi: Bear in mindIm still covered in chocolate.

Dei/Kur/Nej/Shik/Gaa/Kyuu/Hina/Haku/Zabu: -raise handsZakura: Oro? Sas/Saku/Naru/Jira/Kimi/Kiba/Shin/and anyone I forgot: -raise handsZakura: WowA lot of guys I did not expect in that one. NARUTO?! Naruto: Itachis a freak. And Oro may have stolen Sasuke, but Itachis the one that made him leave. Kiba: What are you in love with Sasuke? Shika: -glaresNaruto: No. Hes my best friend Kyuubi: Sure he is, Kit. Sure he is. Ayame: I think theyre both equally sexy! Zakura: You would feel that way. Kyu-chan what are the names of the other tailed demons and is it just coincidence you have different numbers of tails or are you related?? Kyuubi: Were actually the nine banished princes of the demon realm, our power is represented in the number of our tails. Naruto: Youreyoure a prince? Kyuubi: Yeah, my daddys the king of demon-realm and your daddys dead. Naruto: -whimperAnko! Though I'm sure you will already have one from someother kind reviwer here is a LIMITED EDITION Kurenai Plushie... with interchangible outfits eg. normal, date, pjs, bikni, dominatric, playboy bunny and many more Jiraiya: YES! grabsKurenai: Give me that! Jiraiya: NEVAR! Kurenai Plushie: -hits Jira with skillet-

Kurenai: WowI love me, -takes plushie and hugsSince it's fun for everyone else I also want copies of Chouji and Shikamaru's love letter strewn allover the place Shikamaru: ACK! NO! tries to grab all the copies but Kiba gets to oneKiba: We-he-hell, lets see what we have herewtf? Its just a bunch of letters asking how things are back home and whining about what a slut Sasuke is. Naruto: Why do you care if Sasukes a slut, Shika? Shikamaru: Because its obscene. Kiba: Then why dont you complain about Neji? Shikamaru: Ido? Kiba: -flipping through- Nope, nowhere in here. Shikamaru: Well it does bother me. But Sasuke especially because everyone seems to idolize him so much. Itachi: We dont idolize him, we just lust after him. Shikamaru: Oh what the fuck ever. Kiba: Damnthis gets pretty fiery in herethats some harsh insultsand Choji is so cheesy! He must really have the hots for you. Shikamaru: Im just in a bad mood because of this place ok? Nothing more Orochimaru: SUS-PI-CIOUS!! Is Sassy ticklish yet? Itachi: No not yetIm still trying
ITACHI! I adore your catchphrase... think about it if you hadn't killed your family there would be so much more incest! Ja Ne Silent x

Itachi: Right on. And yeah, Uchiha-cest is the best cest. Sakura: -face-palmsZakura: Well, thats it from He-Yanfor now.

Everyone: WOOT!
HT: -starts killing things with ambers scytheamber: O.O crap... HT: IM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL! but first i need to know your favorite way to die! ^^ amber: youre retarded... HT: also, sakura, do you want a sasuke plushie?

Itachi: Death by orgasmthe perfect death. Orochimaru: Ooooh, yeah, Id like to be a part of that. Itachi: Sweet, we can kill each other. Orochimaru: Right on. Jiraiya: Suffocation in size H boobs Sakura: So long as its not while Im in this room Im pretty well off Naruto: drowning in ramen! Shikamaru: Quietly, when Im an old man and tired of living. Kiba: Ill NEVER be tired of life. Shikamaru: Good luck with that. Kiba: At any rate I want to spontaneously combust. Shino: -eyeing Kiba warily- Im with Shikamaru on this one. Kurenai: So long as its before Im too old to move freely, Im ok. Gaara: Right now I just want to get my memory back before I dieI guess something quick and painless Kimimaro: I thought my death was pretty coolId do it again. Haku: I was totally happy dying for Zabuza-san. Zabuza: Im never gonna die again now. Haku: teehee, well, so long as Im with you. Zabuza: Yeah. leans in for kiss but Haku is distracted by touching-up his nailsKyuubi: Demons dont die.

Sakura: But theoretically Kyuubi: No. Sakura: -sighHinata: I agree with Shino and Shikamaru, silent and when Im old Neji: When Im young, I hope to die really dramatically, and in a fashion that gets at least a whole episode devoted to me. Kurenai: Why do you want to die young? Neji: Its cooler that way. Deidara: Artistically. With a bang. Yeah Sasori: -rolls eyes and laughs at his foolishnessItachi: He laughed! He laughed! TICKLE ORGY!! Any other answers are discarded as everyone starts tickling each other mercilessly. The Akatsuki are mostly on each other, jiraiyas all over Oro, Kurenai is sneakily focusing on Itachis still-chocolately body, Sakura and Hinata are being all girly and cute and making Z jealous. Zabuza is letting no one tickle Haku, but Naruto keeps sneaking. Kimi and Gaara are rolling on the bed. Neji, of course, is getting around to everyone. Its generally cacophony. Kyuubi pounces on Naruto, who got rid of the Kimono ages ago, distracted momentarily from thoughts of Ninetails.
Orochimaru: How long can you stretch that tongue of yours? I'm curious. Kiba: Is it possible to learn to speak... dog? Or is it just some Kekkei Genkai? Deidara: How did you get those mouths on your hands? Or is it also Kekkei Genkai? Or whatever it was.. blah

Kiba: Its kind of something you have to be raised withshino, come tickle me! Shino: -is busy with HinataKiba: -pouts until he is tickle-tackled by AyameZakura: Read the damn story people! Weve gone over Oros tongue at least twice and Deis hands once or twice before. GEZUS H. CHRIST!! Jesus: Yes? Sorry, just stopped by cause I saw the tickling going on and wellyou knowI havent had earthly pleasure in so long Darth Maul: DUDE! ITS JESUS!!

Obi Wan: NO WAI!!! COME DRINK WITH US MAN! Turn some water into wine Jesus: I can do beer too. ObiDarth: RIGHT ON!!! Jesus: And I know this orkcin place in Galilee where we could start a party Obi Wan: What are we waiting for?! Lets go! -Off those three trot to GalileeSakura: *gives box of fraps* You can do wahtever ya wat with them, put fraps Are weapons. *wink* Remeber that! Kabuto: Hey are you dead, or something? Sakura: SWEET! FRAPS!! -everyone breaks for fraps, tickling each other occasionally as they sip. Sasori pretends to be ticklish just to get it over with.Gaara: -gulps down dozens and hundreds of frapsKabuto: No, Im not dead. I have Elton John sunglasses Lee: Whats so great about them anyway? Kabuto: -glares- Im going to pretend you didnt say that. jumps Lee and starts tickling him,Lee: -tickles backKabuto: Ill have you know I have no control over my actions ri-heehehe-now Lee: Meheehee, nieheether! -they fall into uncontrollable laughterwhat ever happend to that black bottle I gave Kyuu? Haku, Dei-chan and Anko I give you these weird necklaces, dnt know what they do but its gd... Naruto... why is it that even with Kyuubi you are weak in the shippuden... even the skanky bitch Sakura is stronger then you... June

Kyuubi: I have no fucking clue. I think I still have it somewhere. Or we might have thrown it out. I dont give a shit.

Kabuto: -knocks into a shelf and a black bottle falls into his mouth and he suddenly stops tickling Lee- WoahI think that just made me exempt from reviews HELLZYEAH!! Lee: No fair Dei/Jira/Haku: -still in the orgy, put on necklacesDeidara: Feel anything, yeah? Haku/Jira: -shake headsZakura: Hey, if the reviewers dont know, we dont know. Probably dont do anything. Theyre just weird necklaces. Sakura: that didnt work wiuth the eye! Zakura: but thats a fucking floating EYEBALL there has tp be something weird with that! Sakura: OkI see your point. Haku: Kinda pretty though-heehehe. Naruto: Im not weak! Jiraiya: strue. Hes a main character and therefore had to go through the act of struggling to get stronger in order to be relatable or some shit. tackles OrochimaruOrochimaru: -hugs and ticklesThe tickle orgy fades and then theres a moment of silence before: Sasori: HAHAHAHAAHHHEEEEHEEEEHEEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOAHAHAHAHAHA HKUKKUUKKUKFUFUFFUGUWWAWAWAWAWFUHAFUHAHICHICHAHAHA HHAHAHAHA Deidara: WTF yeah? Itachi: Oh I get ithes not, NOT ticklishhes just on delayed reactionwell damn thisll take a while Sasori: -gives fingerHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOHOKAKAKAKAKAK KUKUKUKKFUFUFUFUFFUHLUKHLUKHLUKBUWAHAHAHAHAHFUWAHAH

AMUWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHEEHEE HEEHEEEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHKLAKLAKLAKLAKALGLARBGLARBG LARBAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH Lucifel: Good news, computers looking ok now (24 hours after starting writing this), so check out my Lady Jibril profile late for my HP fics! Bad news; I gots a math test tomorrowpray for meTo every god you can think of. I dont care if Poseidon is god of the sea pray to that mothafucka, I need all the help I can get. And that passing-the-dare thing still stands. >:) Thanks again for reading! And He-Yandont ever do something like that again. -.Sasori: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHFUFUFUFUUFFUFUUFUFUFBLUBLUBLU BLUGLAHAHAHEHEHHEEHHEHEHEHEEHEHEHHEHHOHOHOHOHOHHAHAH AHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAfaints-

Ask Sakura 37 Lucifel: Hello! Whats this? Is this me writing on a day not completely late in the week? I think it isGASP. Anywho, did ok on my math test, not that anyone caresoh! And Ive got those HP fics up. :) And Im going to b devoting my self to Loyalty Eternal (Ironic, yes?...no) so please read that story! Seriouslyno one ever doesis depressing. Youre going to make Haku cry. Haku: Youre still writing that story? Really? Lucifel: Youre umpissing Zabuza off? Zabuza: She was writing a story about us? Bitch. Dont read it. I bet it sucks. Lucifel: -grumbles- SO, lets move on. When we last left our victims Sasori: AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA Lucifel: Yes. That.

Deidara: This is boring now, yeah. How do we make him stop. Kurenai: -starts taking out skillet excitedlyOrochimaru: No, no, that only works on Kankuro cause he wont kill us when he wakes up. Kurenai: Damn. hits JiraiyaJiraiya: What the hell? Kurenai: -innocent eyes- Well I already had it OUT! Sasori: HAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHEHEKHEKehehehehahahohhehehehehehha. Itachi: You done? Sasori: Yes. Itachi: Great, time to make fun of mercilessly Sasori: Try it. growlsDeidara: Oh Ill try something yeah
*gives Itachi and Gaara more fraps* *gives Kurenai a new, spiked, cast-iron frying pan* BTW, Kyuubi, if there's one thing about being sealed in Naruto that you like, what is it?

Itachi: nice! gulps down frapGaara: -sips quietly while staring at the eyeball, missing LeeKurenai: Where was this a second agowell, better break it in Jiraiya: NO! ducksKurenai: -hits KyuubiKyuubi: -twitchKurenai: O.o Kyuubi: -twitch and turns to look at herKurenai: O.o takes a step back-

Kyuubi: -glares- If that had actually hurt Id be far more pissed off. You watch yourself, bitch. Kurenai: -gulps and goes to sit with HinataKyuubi: If there was any one thing it was not being in contact with my father. That was quite the relief. Kiba: Are you in contact with him now? Kyuubi: No. Kiba: Ohno fun.
I'm so glad you all hate/love me ^_^ Would it be possible for me to give everyone access to clean hot showers for a bit?? (I can't promise their clothes will still be there after...) Plus Jira-san I will always give you hugs ^_^ but it's not my fault if Kurenai gets you XP What would your english names be? If you could choose?? Ja Ne Silent

Everyone: -looks at Zakura with big puppy eyesItachi: PLEASE let us showerKiba smells. Kiba: HEY! Zakura: Oh, sure. But you heard the lady, you might end up naked after wards Everyone: SO?! Zakura: K. The closet is now a shower-room knock yourselves out. Everyone besides Hinata and Zakura: -STAMPEDES!!!Zakura: Why didnt you go Hinata? Hinata: Im ahwellI dont want to lose my clothesbut I really do need a shower. Zakura: -blushing- Well, yknow, I could likekeep special care of your clothesif you want. Hinata: Would you? Thanks so much! Zakura: S-sure

Hinata and Zakura go into shower room. The shower room is a long white-and0blue tile hallway lined on one side with shower stalls (equipped with curtains) and on the other by plain old shower heads. Kurenai: What the hell?! Is this shower co-ed? Itachi: -already naked- YOU BET IT IS!! shakes hipsKurenai: ACK! hides behind shower curtainDeidara: teehee. Did you get bigger Itachi? Itachi: Probably, Ive been working it out Sasori: -goes into stallOrochimaru: Sakura! Get your ugly ass into one of those stalls! Sakura: Im GOING! Sheesh! Jerks Hinata: IuhI Zakura: Ill stand guard for you. Go ahead into one of the stalls. Hinata: Youre the best, Zakura. hugsZakura: Hrmeh. catches clothes as Hinata tosses them around the curtainJiraiya: -getting naked- wanna hug me now? Orochimaru: I DO! glomps into a stall and swings the curtain shutEveryone: O.O Itachi: WOOT! Get your man Oro!! -most of the guys just camber around the open heads. The girls and some guys actually worried about getting clean are in stallsKiba: My name would be Rodriguez!! Shino: -across from him in a stall- Thats a Spanish name, and why the hell that? Kiba: Cuz its awesome! Have you heard it?! Rodrrrriguez. Shino: -rolls eyes-

Naruto: Man! I want an awesome name like Rodriguez! Itachi: You can be Billy. Naruto: Why Billy? Itachi: Cause thats what all the ugly, dumb, fat kids are called. Sakura: What if one of our fans is named Billy?! Thats cruel! Itachi: FINE! The ugly dumb kids. You are not necessarily fat. Sakura: ITACHI! Itachi: Why do you care?! The fans are meanest to YOU! Sakura: Ohyeahanyway, my English name would be Rose. Deidara: Like that Dr. Who whore? Yeah, kind of suits you yeah Sakura: NO! Like the flower! GRAH! conditions hairGaara: -is in a stall- I kind of like the name Jared Kimimaro: JARED?! Gaara; Maybe thats just nowbut it sound cool. Kimimaro: Youre weird. Id want a name likeI dunnoDamien or something coolsounding like that. Gaara: Damien doesnt sound cool. Kimimaro: Yes It DOES! What do you know Jared? Gaara: That Damien is a gay name. Kimimaro: Screw you. Itachi: Now is the perfect opportunity for that! Kimimaro: Agk. Starts shavinghis legsOrochimaru: -dashing out of cell- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! You shave your legs Kimi?!

Kimimaro: Wellyes Orochimaru: Thats awesome! So do I! Were you emulating me that much?! Kimimaro: Well yesthat and I figured it would attract Kabuto. Now its just habit. Gaara: You liked that guy with the glasses? Kimimaro: -nodsGaara: Youre definitely the weird one. Kimimaro: You liked LEE!! Gaara: Well, Lees hot! Kimimaro: Wait, you STILL like Lee? Gaara: Who wouldnt?! Everyone: -raises handsKimimaro: Thats more than a little embarrassing Gaara: -closes shower curtainOrochimaru: So long as Im out I would like to say I would be named Salazar. Because thats a fucking awesome name. Deidara: I would be Guinevere, yeah! Sasori: -staresDeidara: Its a pretty nameyeahyou could be Lancelot! Sasori: sure Kiba: What would you be Shino? Shino: I like my name the way it is. Kiba: You couldnt have any nameell, you could, but it would have to have like, agent in front of it. Shino: -raises eyebrows- would it now?

Kiba: Oh hell yeah. goes into his stall to hug him- because youre sexy like that. Shino: -blushing- get lost, you still smell and Im trying to get clean. Kiba: -smiling goes back to the open showers and turns to Naruto- And thats how you keep em happy. Shino: I heard that asshole! Itachi: This all ridiculous, everyone knows theres only one male name in the English language: John. Deidara: John, yeah? Itachi: Yeah, John. Or some variation of that. Deidara: Wowthose poor people.
Sakura: Did I read right?! You just voted Oro smexier than Itachi. And according to other chapters, you wanted to rape him... so does that mean you want to rape Oro too?! OoH! Can I throw Kakashi in? PLZ!! *throws him* Kakashi: Why don't you EVER let Sakura fight for herself on missions. Even in the Naruto MOVIES, you always intervene. No offence to either of you, but hows she supposed to get Better, if she never FIGHTS?!

Sakura: I never wanted to rape Itachi! Itachi: Yes you did you whore. Sakura: NO! I didnt! turns redItachi: Suuurehow could you think Oro was sexier than me?! A grown-up version of Sasuke! Orochimaru: Ladies really do love the tongue. Zakura: Unfortunately, weve already had Kakashi show up once, so he cant come by again. Kakashi: Really? My bad. Jumps down shower drainZakura: So, in answer to your question, its because Kakashi secretly wants to get in the pants of all of team seven. Sakura: How does that even answer the question?! Zakura: The truth is always the right answer. Sakura: But that doesnt make SENSE!

Naruto: And its disturbing Sakura: And it doesnt make sense!! Zakura: Sakura, youre standing with the shower curtain open. Sakura: Agk! closes quicklyNaruto: -nosebleedItachi: Damn Sakura! Get a trim! Kiba: Whoa! Her hair really IS naturally pink!
So did anyone miss me? Come on be honest. Kyuubi: Hey I recently found my GBA and I could give you a ninetails if you want one. (It's still in it's pokeball) I can't believe I ever played that game. Hinata: Are you ready to perform Bohemian Rhapsody yet? I'm not gonna dare you to perform it, but I'm gonna request that you and Kimi perform. Lucy-chan: so what did you think of HP7?

Lucifel: I did! Everyone else: Who are you? Sakura: You guys are awful! Not even remembering who the fans are! Itachi: You dont know either! Sakura: humph. reaches for clothesthey are there- Huh, she didnt steal my clothes. Orochimaru: Is cuz no one wants to see you naked. Sakura: Oh yeah! Just for that Ill stay naked the whole chapter! starts getting undressed againItachi Well, WE may not like it, but Naruto, and some of those fanswell Sakura: Eeep. stays clothedKyuubi: I dont want any other Ninetails. Just MY Ninetails. poutsNeji: since when do demons take showers? Kyuubi: Since it was a good excuse to get naked. Kiba: Ill take the pokemon! takes- yay. :) And I still technically have Itachi captured thats two already woot!

Shino: Youre lucky you were being charming a second ago you big dolt. Hinata: Ohafter the thing with Gaara Kimi and I havent really been practicing Kimimaro: But you know the lyrics by heart! Hinata: Well that doesnt mean Kimimaro: And you have a wonderfully natural voice! WE SING NOW!! Hinata: But Im naked! Kimimaro: -throws her a long bath-robe- Put this on. Hinata: -puts on- But YOURE all naked! Kimimaro: Close your eyes! This is so exciting! bounces happily- I havent performed in ages! Kiba: WAIT! runs into main room, comes back dragging a piano, a guitar and a drum set- These were left over from the wedding. I stashed them. Shine. Lets go. Shino: -sigh not againStage pops up at the far end of the room, and everyone gathers around, clothes just barely with towels if at all. Kimi/Hina: Is this the real lifeIs this just fantasyCaught in a landslideNo escape from realityOpen your eyes Look up to the skies and seeKimi: Im just a poor boy, I need no sympathyBoth: Because Im easy come, easy go, A little high, little low, Hinata: Anyway the wind blows, Kimi: doesnt really matter to me, Hinata: To me

Shino comes in all pretty on the piano Light turn down low and blue. Hinata now sits on the piano, in a long white evening gown, Kimis in a white suit standing facing her. Kimi: Mama, just killed a man, Put a gun against his head, Pulled my trigger, now hes dead, Hinata: Mama, life had just begun, But now Ive gone and thrown it all awayBoth (Hina slides off Piano with Kimis help) : Mama ooo, Didnt mean to make you cryIf Im not back again this time tomorrowHinata: Carry on carry on, as if nothing really matters(They stand next to each other now) Kimi: Too late, my time has come, Sends shivers down my spineBodys aching all the time, Hinata: Goodbye everybody-Ive got to goGotta leave you all behind and face the truthKimi: Mama ooo- Hinata:(any way the wind blows) Kimi: I dont want to die, Hinata: I sometimes wish Id never been born at allShinos playing drums too KIBA SOLO Costume change! Now theyre both in black suits. Kimi: I see a little silhouetto of a man, Hina: Scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the fandangoKimi: Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening meHina: Galileo, Kimi: galileo,

Hina: Galileo Kimi:: galileo Hina: Galileo Kimi: figaro- Both:magnificoKimi: But Im just a poor boy and nobody loves meHina: Hes just a poor boy from a poor familySpare him his life from this monstrosityKimi: Easy come easy go-,will you let me goHina: Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-Kimi: let him goHina: Bismillah! we will not let you go- Kimi: let him go Hina: Bismillah! we will not let you go-Kimi: let me go Hina: Will not let you go-Kimi: let me go Hina: Will not let you go Kimi: let me go Hina: No, no, no, no, no, no, noKimi: Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me goBoth: Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me- (Hinas hits the high note like nothing else-) KIBA SOLO!! Hinata spins around dramatically, is now in tight, short black dress with a black jacket and boots. Kimis in matching greaser-like attire. Kimi: So you think you can stone me and spit in my eyeHina: So you think you can love me and leave me to dieKimi: Oh baby-cant do this to me babyBoth: Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta hereKIBA SOLO!! Theyre back in a bathrobe and towel Kimi: Nothing really matters, Anyone can see, Hina: Nothing really matters-, nothing really matters to me. Shino finishes the song off. -THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE!!!!Itachi: THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! Hinata: -runs to shower stalls with roses being flung after her-

Zakura: -is staring in horny shock at the spot where Hinata just performed her darling heart outKiba: Ill put the instruments back shall I? Zakura: -instinctively makes them disappearKiba: Dammit. Kabuto: -is hit in head by piano- Oh godwhatd we miss? Lee: A piano? Im so confused -Wind suddenly rushed over themLee: Irk. Kabuto: What is it? Lee: II dont know but suddenly I-pounces on Kabuto and starts kissing him furiouslyKabuto: ACK!! holds him away- Dammit! This must be all the rejected requests for make-outs/raping/screwing. sigh- Im so glad Im immune -duct-tapes Lee to Piano- This is until I can figure something else. Lee: -nods agreement as he cant talk through all the hormones rushing through his bodyLucifel: Yes, I liked HP7 and how everyone died in the end Sakura: Youre awful. Lucifel: What? Its how you guys will end too. Naruto: GAH! NOO!! Sakura: Eick.
Hey -- if Kabuto is imune from Reviews -- does that mean he can not get gifts either? gives everyone else chicken sauted in thai peanut sauce over a bed of jasmine rice and crisp lettuce all wrapped up in a flour tortilla. Lee- I dare you to let Sakura, Haku, and Hinata pluck your eyebrows and cut/style your hair.

Zakura: -snaps out of it- KABUTOS IMMUNE?! This must be STOPPED! storms over to the eyeball and pounds on the iris- OPEN UP!! Eyeball: -sticks out tongueZakura: -glares- Youll get yours Eyeball: -licksZakura: Gah! stalks away- At any rate, yes. No gist for Kabuto. Eyeball: -smilessomehowand eats the frap cratesKabuto: OWW! FUCK! KNOCK IT OFF! Lee: -fights desperately against duct tapeKabuto: -pulls duct tape off his mouth- Does have anything to do with something besides your unnatural lust towards me? Lee: Yeah. I dont want them to do my hair and I get to transfer it right? Kabuto: Yeh. Hurry up, youre starting to foam so I need to re-tape you. Lee: UhummI dont know! Kabuto: Who do you think could use a make-over most? Lee: Umm, Shino? Kabuto: Right on. re-tapesLucifel: Saku, you get to make-over Shino instead because of the dare-transfer deal. Sakura: Shibby! Zakura: Shibby? Sakura: I can like boy meets boy Zakura: But you said SHIBBY. Sakura: Leave me aloneShino get back here!! Haku: -pounce/tackles- Ive got him! Teehee! Whoops, its slippery in here!

Zabuza/Kiba: -try not to nosebleed at the sight of Haku and Shino slipping all over the place trying to balanceSaku/Hina/Haku: -pull Shino into the driest corner and start working on his eyebrowsShino: People will die for thismostly Lee. Kiba: teehee. Shino: And you. Haku: No one watch! This must be a surprise! Kabuto: NO! I want good food! PLEASE!! Lee: Hrgmfuphtrgglhmphhhhhhh (if you un-tape me Ill feed you) Kabuto: Eww, and no. Theres got to be something around hereEwwwhat is this. Lee: ? Kabuto: godI think its wedding cakeI think its alive Wedding cake: GRAR!!
Kyuubi: Never mind, I found someone better to steal power from. Someone stronger then you. If you want to know -who- you have to kiss Hinata. Summoning Contract Folks: Alright, who out there has a summoning contract, and what do you summon? And your dare is to summon your summon boss. Everyone: *Tosses in the Jumanji game board, with enough extra animal pieces for everyone to play* I dare everyone, except Kabuto, who is apparently completely resistant to reviews at the moment, and simple -ask- him to play this highly strategy game, so play this game until one of you wins.

Kyuubi: Wtf? Sure, shes adorable. pulls hinata over, he is still naked and kisses herHinata: KWAA! runs away to Haku, who hugs her while pushing back Shinos cuticles.- can he do that again? Sakura: HINATA!! Orochimaru: I already summoned mine. glares at KibaKiba Im a Ninja And a Pokemon master AND a card captorIm AWESOME. Shino: I would glare if my eye lids werent so swollen from plucking Jiraiya: Gama Oyabun wouldnt be happy if

Naruto: ILL DO IT!! Sakura: You cant. You have to pass it on to someone else. Sthe rules now. Naruto: No fair! Theres no one else!! Sakura: Exactly. grinsZakura: Ugh, its not even an evil grinWe dont have time to play Jumanji! Thats so retarded Naruto: Were not all playing. Zakura: Well, its an everyone dare, so I mean the transfers will just go in circles Kiba: No it wont. Zakura: what are you bastards saying. Sakura: Everyone transferring their dare to Zakura raise your hand! Kiba/Shin/Zabu/Haku/Kyuu/Naru/Lee(if he could)/Kure/Dei/Sas/Gaa/Kimi/Kabu(though he doesnt know why)/Jira/Shika/Neji/Kank/Hina: Raise hands. Zakura: Bitches! ALL OF YOU!! Hinata, WHY?! Hinata: Im sorryyou seemed like the one that would like it most Zakura: So Oro and Itachi are my only comrades?! Itachi: Not really, were transferring to Sakura. Zakura: You all suck. Sakura: This is the worst year of my life Zakura: It aint over yet bitch. Im winning this game. -They go playAww... Zabuza feels left out... here's a whetstone for Zabuza, because I know that sword-sharpening is a hobby of his. (drops the whetstone on Orochimaru's foot) oops. For everybody: here's a pot of famous seven-alarm CHILI! It fills you up, tastes great, and increases your chakra with the power of KIDNEY BEANS!

Orochimaru: hrgm. bites lipsZabuza: -picks up whetstone- this is the only stone that Id like whet.

Haku: Im BUSTY!! Naruto: Waitwhat? Haku: -blush- sorry, I mean busy.typo. Zabuza: -fantasy distraction!Naruto: chili? Kiba: CHILI!! pounces at chili- I shall be a chili master next! Muwahaha! Shino: I want some Haku: no! Were not done! Hinata: -eats chili- yummy! Shino: -whimperOrochimaru: owowowowowow-wanders over to Jiraiyas stall and hides, groaning in painOrochimaru: you already have a Sasuke plushie right? Well here's a Yusuke plushie because I saw one at star clipper comics and its really cute and funny. Naruto: I dare you to kiss, with tongue for ten seconds, either Kyuubi or Jiraiya. Throws the fly card in the room, you better seal that Kiba. I also give you guys a waterbed! It's huge and many people can fit on it at the same time! ...but it's not leak proof -evil grin-

Orochimaru: whimperplushie? Yusuke Plushie: -stays very adorably plushie-like in his handsOrochimaru: PLUSHIE!! evil smilingJiraiya: Must you do this in my shower stall? Orochimaru: But this is the first awesome plushie in a long tiiime. Jiraiya: -hugs Kurenai plushies- I am in total disagreement. Lucifel: STAR CLIPPER ROCKZ!!! Zakura: Right and everyone in the world will come to you town to see it Lucifel: Hell is awesome.

Zakura: You dont live in hell, Hell is in Michigan. Sakura: And you just summoned giant mosquitoesand were in a damp environment. Zakura: FUCK! Kiba: Awesome, theyre not attacking us. Just the Kuras. Naruto: I want Kiba to do this instead!! Kiba: O.o Naruto WHY?! Naruto: Im sorry! You were the first person that came to mind! Kiba: ehuhnoooo Kyuubi: Im not kissing that. Zakura: -smashing a mosquito- Guess its Jiraiya then. Kiba: Please Kyuubi?! Kyuubi: No. Kiba: -walks towards Jiraiyas cell- NEVAR!!! pounces on Kyuubi and shoves his tongue down his throat. He brings it back just in time to avoid it being bitten offKyuubi: You.you-pauses- that was tricky. But stylish. Nice job. holds out handKiba: Thanks. takes handKyuubi: Fucker. punches in faceKiba: Worth it. Shino: Oh was it? stands over Kiba, eyebrows tamed, hair straightened and smooth, falling to chin-length, skin scrubbed to glowing caliber, dressed in a sexy outfit of a tshirt, jacket, and slacks, mostly in ivory colors, that the girls somehow made, nicely, out of towelsKiba: Ohmagod. Hi Shino. Shino: hi. Im going away now. Kiba: What! NO!!

Shino; -slams doorKiba: -card flutters in front of his face- Whats this! OOOH! NEW CARD! Whats that mean.seal it? Fly: SQUWAK!!! zooms through the shower hall and starts wreaking havocZakura: Like the mosquitos, tail, and elelphants werent bad enough?! Sakura: This really isnt going well Haku: WATER BED!!! jumps towards water bedZabuza: WAIT!! catches Haku- Dont do that. Haku: Why? Dont you want to shag on the water bed? Zabuza: Of COURSE I do. But did you take the needles out of your pockets? Haku: -blushes- heh, no. Zabuza: Arent you glad I stopped you? Haku: -discards needles- Yescan we have sex now? Zabuza: -tackles him onto the water bedHoly Crap! i was the first question! yay! now questions. Deidara: how would you and Sasori "get it on" if he's a puppet? Shika: have you ever played saduko? Jiraiya: do you know what cybering is? if you don't here (hands a book about cybering) you would love it so much. MiniDeath

Deidara: He is a VERY detailed puppet, yeah. Sasori: What? Dont judge me. I had the ability to make myself a puppetry-enhanced private area. I did so. Deidara: Its awesome. winksSakura: Are you guys actually talking directly to the audience? Deidara: Audience, yeah? Sakura: Yeah. Sasori: Wtf?

Sakura: -sigh- nevermind, I have to go squish the giant spider trying to eat Zakuras head. Kiba: -Trying to lasso the fly with a towel- you care? Sakura: she dies, I lose, sucks. Good luck with the bird though. Orochimaru: -poking his head out the the stall- my but its chaotic out thereJiraiya: Yep. Wanna get chaotic in here? Orochimaru: YES! Jiraiya: Figured you would. Orochimaru: You bastard! How dare you trick me! Jiraiya: I was tricking you? Orochimaru: Is this some kind of joke? Jiraiya: Ask my boner. Orochimaru: -looks around franticallyJiraiya: Theyre all busy with chasing animals and water beds and singing and makeovers. Were cool. Orochimaru: youre seriously gonna screw me? Jiraiya: -shrugs- not if you dont want to. Orochimaru: -narrows eyes- No. No youre just doing this to damage my frail egothe Kurenai plushie gave to a boner and for some sick reason youre leading me on to dump me out of here and crush my heart! No Jiraiya, NO. stalks awayJiraiya: -stunnedItachi: You really think JIRAIYA would do that to you? Orochimaru: No. But whats a good romance story without crazy mis-interpreted antics. Itachi: God, but youre my hero. Orochimaru: I know.

Shikamaru: -raises an eyebrow- I have played SUDOku, yes. It got boring. Nothing was challenging me enough. Not since I turned six, anyway. Naruto: I think youre TOO smart. Shikamaru: shove it. Im trying to get clean. Kiba, can I use your bubble card? Kiba: GASP! Yes! I will capture fly in a giant bubble! Shikamaru: Oh come on thats never going to -IT WORKS!Shikamaru: I hate fanfics. Kiba: Clow card, return to the form you were meant to have! FLY!! slams staffs onto Flys faceFly card: Watch it, bub. is sealedKiba: -writes name on Fly card- muwahahahaha, from now on the cards shall be known as KIBA CARDS and I will rule them all!! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Hinata: Kiba? Shino is crying it the main room Kiba: I will return to gloating shortly-leavesJiraiya: Cybering. smiles- Ive heard of it, yes.
A.H.S: -Hands over a bright blue vile- Make Sasori drink this...He tends to get ubberly weird when he laughes. As I was saying...Chimey and Hidan are expecting!! They want to ask if you got idea's for names!! Anyhow,...-Drops a box yaoi in.- Have any of you guys ever though of starting a nude calendar?

Kurenai: -thinks- eiiick, not gonna talk about this one. Zakura: You want names? How bout; SCREW YOU IM TRYING TO ESCAPE A SAFARI HUNTER!!! Sakura: -dodges a bullet- I like that one. Orochimaru: OhK Sasori: What?! No I dont need it Orochimaru: -shoves potion down Sassys throatSasori: GAG I hate you

Orochimaru: Ooo! Yaoi! Sasori: you cant distract me withis that Gackt? Orochimaru; :3 Deidara: I want to see Kurenai: I NEVER POSED NUDE FOR A CALENDER AND IF I DID IT WAS FOR A GOOD CAUSE!! blushDeidara: --yeah? Hinata: W-what cause? Kurenai: teenaged boy orphans Hinata: oh. Jiraiya: What year again? Kurenai: -gives finger-outsideKiba: Love? Shino: Im sorry, youre love doesnt live here. Kiba: Look, I know youve been crying and Im really sorry. I never mean to hurt you, you know that. Shino: I was crying because my eyebrows still fucking hurt, asshole. Kiba: Ohthat makes things difficult. Shino: Keep trying.
Hi everyone, I'm back...-woozily stumbles to every member of the cast to hug themI feel so freaking Zen right now....Umm, I can't seem to remember the gifts I gave people, would you remind me please? -snuggles Kyuubi- Hi Kyuu-chan! Didja miss me? Um...could I ask you a favor? Meet Kin, my ninetails from Pokemon Emerald. Sasuke: As a parting note, just so you all know, I am a different version of Sasuke, far from the slutness of my counter-part in your universe. So basically: Stay the fuck away from me. Sincerely, A very 'Zen' Kryah

Itachi: Zen characters are so much worse than hyper ones.

Orochimaru: -nodsKurenai: You certainly never sent me enough chocolate. Jiraiya: Or sex toys. Kurenai: Or chocolate, Shikamaru: Or smart people Kurenai: Or chocolate. Naruto: Or ramen! Kurenai: or CHOCOLATE!! Everyone: -meepKyuubi: I like this one though. She took me to Italy-smiles at the memory- Its not the same but I guess I could hang with your Ninetails for abit Ninetails: Nine? Kyuubi; Its youits really you Ninetails: Tailsnine? Kyuubi: Howwhatwill you marry me? Ninetails: Ninitailsnenine. Ninenine, tailsni, tails tails. Ninetails. Kyuubi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOURE NOT LOOKING FOR A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP! I, A FUCKING DEMON PRINCE WANT TO DEVOTE MYSELF TO YOU AND YOU ONLY WANT AA FLING?! Ninetails: Nine. Kyuubi: well, I can dot that too. pulls her offSakura: I REALLY hope hes planning to turn into a fox first. Naruto: Oh god Itachi: I dont care if he IS a AU SasukeIll still fuck him.

Shikamaru: -snortItachi: You need an attitude adjustment. Shikamaru: you need an asshole adjustment. Itachi: waitwhat? Shikamaru: I stand by my come-back.
HT: guess who i captured! amber: oh great, another fangirl frenzy... HT: I CAPTURED EDWARD ELRIC FROM FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!! amber: at least its not shigure. HT: oh yeah, gaara! i made this potion for you, it should give you your memory back. but be careful, you have to say your name when you drink it in order to get your own memory. if you say someone else's name, like orochimaru for example, you'll have orochimaru's memories instead. have fun! amber: ok. Im gonna dare someone. i dare orochimaru to wear a yellow polka-dot bakini.

Itachi: OMG!! GIVE HIM TO ME NOW!!!! Deidara: Edward is the sexy, yeah! Ayame: But hes hard to make clothes for with his lop-sided armand where is Shino? I ned to adjust his outfit Meanwhile Kiba: shino, darling, I love you, do you need me to stand up in front of ANOTHER wedding and tell everyone? Shino: Why dont you just stop almost cheating on me? Kiba: This is gonna be a difficult one, isnt it? Shino: You bet your ass. -back in the showerGaara: Oh my godthis is wonderfulIm so nervouswhat if I dont like who I was? Kimi: Youll be alright. Go on. Gaara: -takes a deep breath, tips the potion to his lips-From within the eyeball a horrible scream issues forthGaara: LEE! swallow- Ho damn. faints-

Kimimaro: Well this sucks. Lee: Owowowow, why did you have to be so rough? Kabuto: Thats just what happens when you remove duct tape. Watch out for anymore of those sex-winds. Im not doing that with you. Ever. Lee: Im very disappointed. Kabuto: Did youjust use sarcasm? Lee: Yes? Is that not ok? Sarcasm is youthful! Kabuto: no, its for tired, anti-youth prosti-tots. Lee: Ohsorry. Ayame: you SHOULD get Shigure! And send him here! I miss my friends Zakura: You, plus your pals, equals suckfest. Were not doing that. Itachi: Especially since we can have a suckfest of our own. Zakura: Bad boy. Orochimaru: Oh, but yellow isnt my colorhow about Itachi: IFYOUPUTITONJIRAIYAILLKILLYOU!! Orochimaru: Itachi, then. Itachi: You die for this too.actually-puts on- wow, this is fun. Shikamaru: I was thinking disturbing but whatever,
who likes tomatoes? what are your blood types? what do you think of glitter? not cool to have glitter on you when you're trying to stalk your prey. oh and don't worry, i shall pray to His Noodly-ness for you. bloodsucker.

Shikamaru: tomatoes are my favorite fruit. Naruto: THEY ARE NOT FRUIT!! Neji: Actually, they are. Naruto: You know what? Im sick of you smartasses always tyring to be right! Tomatoes are tomatoes! Neither fruit nor veggie, OK!?!

Neji: NO! Its not! God youre dumb. Naruto: YOURE DUMB. Neji: how am I the dumb one?! Naruto: Cuz you are! Itachi: you said what you said just to start one of these stupid arguments, didnt you Shika. Shikamaru: Why yes. Yes I did. Itachi: So you DO have an evil side. Shikamaru: If I can do it without working? Always. Orochimaru: -blink- Dont you know? Youre the fans. Kurenai: yeah seriously, if the fans dont know we dont fucking keep track. Sakura: Im a MEDIC and I dont. Zakura: Real fucking responsible. Sakura: Will you just tuck your tail in? Orochimaru: Glitter is super pretty!! Sasori: It is the herpes of the art world. Massively contagious, annoying as shit, and impossible to get rid off. Deidara: you can give me your artist herpes anytime. Yeah. Naruto: I like this girl, she prays to noodles. Itachi: you should try making sense some day Naruto.
1. So...Shikamaru I forgot. You're bi right? Could you make out with Temari?(Dare only used as a feeble excuse for not being able to think of a question.) 2. Kiba: You're pretty cool. I like how you're so exuberant. I can't remember if this was asked to you before, but do you have a crush on Hinata?(Or did you at one time?) Cause I'm really a fan of Kiba/Hinata.

Orochimaru: Hee, I love how scared this person is to ask a question that was asked before. We did our job. Shikamaru: I could. But I wont. That was not dare format, and beside, Temaris not here.

Temari: OOMPH falls on LeeKabuto: Oh great, someone wanted to have Temari aroundjust our luck. -wind blows byKabuto: Oh fucking no Lee/Tema: -collide with sexual frustrationKabuto: Wellits not me. Kiba: Hmm, well, Hinatas cute Shino: Are you trying to get back together with me or not? Kiba: but never. Ever. Sorry. Shino: -rolls eyeserm I found out what the necklaces do...they kill your sex drive for about...two chapters I would say...hehehe...woops. Akatsuki people is the blue haired girl (the un-named member) really the leaders bi*tch? Oh and question for Naruto and Sakura what do you guys think of Sai? June x

Deidara: I wondered where all my boners went Jiraiya: huh, good thing I never actually put Ankos necklace on. Necklace: -lashes around Jiras neck and tightensJiraiya: Fuck a doodle do. Zakura: I love that chapters is a new way of measuring time Sakura: I love that I just won. Zakura: Fuck you bitch. We play again. Sakura: ARE YOU INSANE?! Do you want your tail back? Zakura: Now that you mention it I do rather miss it. Sakura: Forget this, Im gonna godosomething. Zakura: If you had friends this would be vastly easier wouldnt it?

Sakura: Shut up. Deidara: Sure she is. Itachi: Are you even paying attention? Deidara: yeah? Itachi: At any rate, the leadere has lots of bitches, tis fun. specially orgies. Deidara: Which just arent the same since Oro-chan left, yeah. Orochimaru; Yay. Naruto: Hes umma boy? Sakura: I think well get back to you when Lucifels hauls her lazy ass off the computer chair and reads more shippuden.
I can't remember how long somebodys tongue is and who has Kekkei Genkai! I have a very short memory, or then I just think that some information isn't worth remembering the moment I ask it. Humph... Deidara: Have you tried exploding your way out of the room? And sorry if this has already been asked and blah blah blaah... Kyuubi: Have you tried DIGGING your way out of the room?(you know, being a fox and all...)

Orochimaru: Yay! Hes offended! Itachi: -highfivesSakura: Youre all awful. I give my apologies. Zakura: I dont! Sakura: -sighDeidara: Why would I want to leave, yeah? I am having shit-tons of fun, yeah, Naruto: PLEASE?! Deidara: No.yeah. Kyuubi: -SCREAMS IN ORGASM FROM WHEREVER HE ISZakura: that means hes busy too. And trust me, twouldnt work. Nice try, come again. Sakura: Please do, they dont really hate you.

Itachi: YES I DO! And I hate H.T. And A.H.S. AND CEYX!! Lucifel: -sighs- I didnt want to do this Itachi-removes ponytail.Itachi: where did my hair go? Sakura: Direct author intervention, you insulted her son. Itachi: ButI dont look good with short hair! Sakura: Your own fault dude. Itachi: -criesGod, I am so rude! I never thanked you guys for answering my quistions! -Bows in thanksZakura-Sama: How much does Sakura REALLY doubt that Sasuke likes her back and that she actually DOESN'T love him? Kiba-baka: Stick to you're man! Kurenai-san is WAY too good for you, she deserves someone hot like Itachi-Sama or Sasori-Sama (WARNING: Deidara's man and Gay-senpei are just EXAMPLES)and besides, Shino is ment for you. Baka. Deidara-sama: Does it gross people out that you have mouths on you're palms? I think it's awesome... (Well, besides the fact that if you hold someone's hand it'd be awkward...) -Inkinmyheart a.k.a Mair

Itachi: Dudesweve been thanked. Orochimaru: thats so sweet!! Itachi: I feel weird insidelike I should be nice to the fan. Deidara: Dont say things like that yeah! You crazy man, yeah! Itachi: Sorrydont know what came over me Orochimaru: Probably me. Itachi: Heh. Zakura: She really truly does. Especially now. See her worry about Kabuto? Sakura: While Im brushing my hair? Zakura: Yes. Sakura: right Kiba: Im working on it! Shino: not very hard. If this is the best you can do at seducing me you may as welll put the whipped cream back and leave.

Kiba: no! Ill seduce you! Worry not! Shino: -smilesDeidara: Not with the crowd I hang out with yeah, they all love it. Though it does make disguise difficult because they dont like gloves and its kind of awkward not showing anyone your palmsI dont know why everyone likes palms so much anyway jackasses, yeah. Itachi: First time I shook his hand I totally freaked out, was cool. He gave me a hand/blow job to make up for it. Sasori: You are SO a whore. Deidara: Teehee.
Kyuubi: Who said I wanted you anyway? Go fuck yourself loser. To everyone else I give wishes! One wish each as long as it has nothing to do with killing and sex but anything else will do. One you made your wish it starts straight away or appears straight away.

Kyuubi: -walking out of a secret door- Fuck myself? Naw, I just completely took my frustration out on a gorgeous creature. The awkward, cute one is next. Orochimaru: Who Kyuubi: -smirks at NarutoNaruto: Meep. Orochimaru: Hee, offended fans are fun! Ive got a new hobby! Itachi: Right on. Zaku/Lucy: Oh no, please, stop. sigh- oh well, I tried. Sakura: You two are horrible. Naruto: Can we save these wishes? Zakura: Sure. Naruto: YES! I want RAMEN!! Zakura: What happened to saving it? Naruto: Changed my mindquickly

Lucifel: Thats it. No more. This has been a plenty long chapter. And its ON TIME. Bow down and worship me bitches!! Anyway, yes, please look into what I mention earlier and if anything is wrong with this chapter, sue me, it was long I didnt feel like proof-reading it, and I have head-ache because of my six-hour devotion to you damn fans. I love you all. K, bye. I want to read more Boy meets Boy

Ask Sakura 38 Lucifel: Im late, because of procrastination, camping and obsession with drawingsI regret nothing! Breaks down sobbingZakura: Les Miserables was not THAT sadI thought it was kind of funny. Kiba: You got to go to a play! Zakura: A MUSICALtheres a difference Kiba: But you were out! Zakura: Of course. But was at a musical. GAY. Hinata: Ohyou must not have liked Kimi and I did Zakura: I love musicals. I was just kidding. Hinata: Im so glad. smilesZakura: -droolsLucifel: The showers are gone now, btw. :3

Kiba: Be careful with the Clow- err.. Sakura- No KIBA cards, Anyways, why doesn't SAKURA get to seal the SAKURA cards? Itachi: I still think you look good even with short hair! But if it Really bothers you just drink this potion *hands him green/blue bottle* Don't forget to check a mirror afterwards. Sasori: Do you hate Sakura? You know, for Killing you?

Kiba: I will be! Theyll be my best friends ever! And I will give them names and Shino: -ahemKiba: -goes back to giving Shino a full-body massage- Do you forgive me yet? Shino: Ask me again in thirty minutesoh, thats the spot. Sakura: Yeah! Why dont I! Kiba: Cuz Im Better! Shino: Good masseuses dont talknot the ones I like anyway. Kiba: -shuts upZakura: mostly its Kohakus call. shrugsItachi: -plays mournfully with his hair- thanksI think it sucks Deidara: Well, I bet Kisame would still like it, yeah! Itachi: ButKisames WEIRD. Deidara: Well, youd have to be to like you with short hair. Yeah. Itachi: O.O Deidara: I meantthat uhyou just look BETTER with long hair! You dont look Bad justworse Itachi: -bawlsDeidara: Sassyyyyy!! Sasori: What? Deidara: We need to cheer Ita-chan up! Sasori: Im sexing him up if thats what you mean.

Deidara: No, no, we have to something really nice and thoughtful. Sasori: Still out. Oh, and no I dont hate Sakura for killing me seeing as I staged the whole thing. Deidara: Youre so sexy yeah. AnywayImma call Kisame. Kisame: Huh? Phone? picks up phone- Hello?...no, not interested life insurance No IListen, I just got back from a really scary world full ofIm not crazy! Itachi and Kabuto left me in there! Hey! Fuck off! runs to Zetsu cryingDeidara: Hes busy, yeah. Dammit. I will contact him psychically!! concentratesSasori: Are you kidding? Deidara: If its a distress signal about Itachi hell come running! Kisame: And then she called me a fishwaitaminute, Im getting an Ita-vibe.I guess that means it time to go look at all my Itachi-PR0N!! skips off to bedroom- :3 Other Akatsuki: O.o?
A.H.S: I gots another person for you to meet!! Say HI Leara!! Leara: -Blinks her grey eyes as she pushes up her glasses.- Yo...A.H.S: They've been helping me get over the shock of Daimos taking some potion and growing up quick and killing Zetsu...-Sniffles Leara: since she's busy moping...-Yawns- I got a few questions... Sakura, -Hands a purple potion.- Not sure what its effects are, but its some kinda enhancement potion. State the attribute and it grows. -Looks to Naruto and giggles.- Hey there cutie! -huggles and kisses, sneaking a cellphone into his pocket.- call me sometime! Itachi, I have to ask you but have you ever used the mangekyou for pleasurable purposes?

Itachi: Uh-uh, Im not touching another purple potion EVER a-fucking-gain! Sakura: Ick, yeah after what it did last time Deidara: But last time you met Kisame right?! Itachi: Ummwellyeah Deidara: Ill go get him!! Swallows potion- How come nothing happened? Orochimaru: That purple looks a little darker. Kiba: Thenshouldnt something have enhanced? Deidara: -blushes-well, it makes sense since Im always thinking about that Naru/Kiba/Lee/Saku: SICK!!! Naruto: uhhhh

Hinata: -horrorZakura: -garbs cell phone and smashes- THERE! No calling fans split personalities. Hinata: -relievedZakura: -smiles and blushes- Now I have to do something evil to get rid of these gushy feelings Deidara: MUST GET KISAME!! Kisame: ACHOO!! ACK! I sneezed on my Itachi Pr0n!!! NOES!!! Itachi: -tries to style his hairfailssobs- Yesbut it hardly seems worth it nowI want my hair back. Deidara: what if I pleasure you, yeah? Itachi: noI just want my hair
1- Lucifel: Since you're obviously the wisest of everyone in the room, do tell: Since when did everyone like boys!? Not like I care, as I'm a straight male myself, but really, since the percentage of those who prefer the same sex is so low, how is it statistically possible for EVERYONE in the room to be a homosexual!? 2- Sakura: What has Sasuke done to deserve you? Ignored you? Because I'd ignore you too if it meant that I could get with someone as delicious as yourself...delicious and nutritious ;P Oh yeah, and here's my last question for you Sakura: Did you know that the name 'Sasuke' is an anagram of 'Ass Uke'?

Lucifel: Ah, yes, well, first of all pulls down a big white sheet behind me where theres dozens of pie charts and graph-lines, and slips on a white lab coat and Kabutos old glasses- statistics like that only work with people who are OPEN about their sexuality, many times that number more are in the closet, and more and more young children become more open to exploring their sexuality every day. And also, really the percentage is pretty even, and its this very town that makes it so. But its a secret ninja town so no one before this knew. See? Good. Very well class, thats all for today. Oh, and on a side note, Naruto, Lee, Kurenai and Sakura still think theyre straight! Zakura: What about Hinata? Isnt she straight? Hinata: WellImIm actually.-blushblushblush- bi. Zakura: -eyes turn into hearts and rainbows and birds and butterflies and hearts and bubbles begin floating around herKiba: HAWT!!! Shino: Kibaaa

Kiba: -sighs and feeds Shino grapes as he lounges on the bedthey kicked Kankuro offItachi: What has Sasuke done to DESERVE her? More like what has he done to be cursed by her liking him. My little Sasukehe could make things better. Deidara: But Im getting you someone even better yeah! Itachi: -sniffleSakura: I ummwaitwhat? Zakura: He hit on you. Get over it. gagsSakura: Oh, well, Sasukes justreally sexy. What more can I say? Zakura: that youre a loser with no standards and bad hair? Sakura: I dont lie. Zakura: So say it already. Sakura: -glareglareglareItachi: Wellthat little bit of Sasuke info cheered me up infinitely. Deidara: NO! I havent got him yet! Be depressed some more so I can cheer you up! Itachi: hwa? Orochimaru: EWWW! Sakuras icky! Itachi: In the beginning of the story you were totally hot for her! Orochimaru: Noooo, that was Zakura. Sticks out tongue and licks Sasori who is across the room- And I only liked the evilness. Zakura: Flattered. smirkum I guess I'll give Ayame Shigure since he never gets anything. Kiba how can you be so mean to Shino? You guys are perfect together! since you never get any real-life questions do you guys think that underage drinking is okay? and what age and how much is ok?

Ayame: YAY! Shigure-chan! Its been so long since our last meeting! My desire for you has become so intense I could hardly stand it!! Shigure: Ayame-chan! I too, have longed for your embrace and sensual touch!

-they run towards each other in dramatic fashionOrochimaru: -intercepts- I wanna part of this!! Shigure: Ayame, do youdo you have a new lover in this man?! Ayame: Even if I did, Shigure, I would never love him as much or as passionately as I do you! Shigure: In that casewhy not? Orochimaru: WHEE! Yay! they have cuddle threesomesJiraiya: -feels left outKurenai: -smacks with skilletJiraiya: WTF?! Kurenai: You looked like you wanted attention. smilesJiraiya: youre just being abusive Kurenai: Yeah. Kiba: This? This right here gestures the spa Shino has had Kiba construct- is not being mean. Shino: If you dont start rubbing my feet again Ill have to consider it as much. Kiba; Yes amster. Shino: and underage drinking? Hmmget me some sake and let me think about Kiba: I want some!! Zakura: Ok, who here thinks drinking underage is a bad thing? -everyone is stillZakura: then let me say I think its generally acceptable for kids from like, ten and up to have a little bit of wine or something from time to time and by the time youre fifteen if your not smart enough to know what to and when not to get smashed, then you deserve to become an alcoholic.

Kurenai: umm.no. Orochimaru: I disagree as well. Kids should be drinking from the moment theyre born! Deidara: YEAH!! Itachi: I was, practically. Me and pops shared Sake all the time. Sakura: So your dad got you drunk at a young ageone more reason youre so fucked up. Itachi: One of the reasons Im so AWESOME. Sakura: Well, not with THAT hair cut. Itachi O.O depressedDeidara: must get a hold of Kisame, yeah
-slips sword card into Gaara's pocket- wonder how long it will take them all to notice? hopefully before it takes over! wow I saw Bourne ultimatum AND Die Hard 1 today and I am pumped! So... machine guns for everyone! To Zabuza, a chink of C4 explosive. God Allan Rickman is hot.

Gaara: -opens eyes and sits up slowlyKimimaro: Gaara! Are you all right? Please dont tell me youre like Lee now Gaara: -staresKimimaro: Gagaara? Gaara: -pulls sword miraculously out of his pocketand attacksKimimaro: WTF?! Kiba: ITS A CARD!!! YESSSS!!! Shino: -ahem- are my sunglasses polished? Kiba: But Shino: When youre done. Kiba: Aww man Kimimaro: A LITTLE HELP?!

Naruto: Gaara! Knock it off! stands in wayGaara: -stabsNaruto: ACK! My shirt! You could have killed me! Gaara: -attacks againEveryone: ONGWTF!!!! MACHINE GUNS!!!! Zabuza: -grabs the biggest one- YIPPEE-KAY-YAY-MOTHER-FUCKERS!!!!!!! starts shooting everythingGaara: -turns to Zabuza and attacks himZabuza: -levels gun with GaaraKimi/Naru: NOO! tackle ZabuzaHaku: ZABUZA-SAN WTF?! Zabuza: Sorryits just so much fun Haku: -sigh- You can cause plenty of destruction without killing Gaara. Zabuza: Fine-poutsKurenai: Were ninja here, we have no NEED for automatic Jira/Naru/Kiba/Shin/Shika/Sas/Dei/Ita/Nej/Kank: WOOT!!! GUNS!!!! Kurenai: -sigh- menI thought more of YOU Shikamaru. Shikamaru: Guns are EASY; you pull the trigger and go. Much less troublesome Naruto: YAY!! Haku: You were just berating Zabuza-san! Naruto: IM not gonna shoot Gaara though-- -accidentally pulls trigger while messing around with the gun and shoots Gaara in the leg- Fuckit. Kimimaro: GAARA!! runs over to the fallen, bleeding boy.Kiba: WAIT! runs over and tries to pull sword from grasp- No goodhes still under its controlAHA!! sticks finger in bullet wound-

Gaara: AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! Kimimaro: KIBA!!!!! Kiba: -pulls sword easily out of Gaaras spasm-ing hand- What? Worked, didnt it? Clow Card, Return to the form you were meant to have! SWORD CARD!!!!!! slams down staffSword card: -becomes cardKiba: VWOOT! Signs- muwahahahahahaha. Shino: Very nice, now-smiles- I have something really nasty for you to do. Kiba: Oh greatyes, master? Shino: -leans forward to whisper into his ear- I want you to make love to me from every angle possible and not stop until you can hardly breathe. Kiba: O.O-shudders-YES MASTER!!!!! pouncesShino: -gigglesZabuza: Muwahahabuwahahaha.EHEHEHEHEHEHEHHHE!!!!! Haku: -steal C4- no. Bad Zabuza. Zabuza: But it EXPLODES!!! Haku: -sigh- Maybe later, k? Zabuza: Fine Orochimaru: I say that counts as throwing Allan Rickman in!! Zakura: No, shes already had three things this review. Orochimaru: But Zakura: No. Sakura: Just because youre lesbianTHATS NOT FAIR!!!! Zakura: -evil smile-

can I be one of Kiba's pokemon? Yes but Shika have you play Koduko? Plus woo I'm not on Itachi's hate list ^_^ I shall give you a wish in a jar because I' so happy

Kiba: If you fit in a pokeball, I will train you! Shino: Less talking more sucking with that sexy mouth of yours Kiba: Hrrgggmmm-shiversShikamaru: If its a logic game, Ive played it. And mastered it. Neji: You should try sex games, theyre less predictable. Shikamaru: Kiba may have a point about you. Neji: -horror- HEY! Itachi: You probably actually are. I didnt list all of my hated people. But hey nice, I wish for my hair back. -his hair plops down in his lapZakura: Oooh, you should have been more specific. Itachi: But I still have the other kids wish! I wish for my hair to be re-attached to my head!! -His hair attaches to his forehead in a single ponytail-like protrusionItachi: GODAMMMIT!! Runs off to cryDeidara: We need Kisame
Gaara: *Biggest evil grin you've ever seen Jaden with* YOSH! GAARA, MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND, STAND UP AND CHANT THE POWER OF YOUTH WITH MYSELF, AND LEE, WHO IS TRAPPED IN THE EYEBALL! Everyone: I dare you all to wear dresses of your favortie color. And so help me, if you all give it to one person, I'll take away your abilites to have sex... P.S. *Shurgs, and throws in the Elric brothers, from FMA*

Gaara: -twitchesKankuro: -who was awake after grabbing a gun- no. Gaara: -sits up slowlyKimimaro: Oh no Gaara: -stands and looks around-

Naruto: Ga-Gaara? Gaara: -suddenly smiles really big and starts marching around the room- I WILL LIVE MY LIFE THROUGH THE WAY OF YOUTH!!! Naru/Kimi/Kank: NOOOOOO!!!! Gaara: -clears throat- Sorry, happens. smileSakura: He seems a LITTLE less crazy than Lee Zakura: Well theres still a bit of him left, he is who he is, even with different memories. So basically, hes Gaara but with a lot of youthful passion. Lee: YOUTH!! THE WORLD WILL BE SAVED BY YOUTH!! WE WILL LIVE BY THE WAY OF YOUTH!!! Kabuto: At least hes done making out with Temari. Temari: -has been throwing up since realizing who she was making out withKabuto: Oh come on, girly, he couldnt have been THAT bad. Temari: Huhoh no, Ive just got a massive hangovereeugh. Kabuto: OhArent you running Suna right now? Temari: -gives thumbs up while she hurls some moreKabuto: Gaara wont like this. Ayame: YAY!! Do I get to make them?! -starry eyesZakura: Ummsure Ayame: European or kimono? Zakura: Cast your votes guys. FOR KIMONOS: Shika/Zabu/Kiba/Shin/Nej/Naru/Jira/Kank/Gaa/Sas/Kure/Kimi: -Raise handsFOR EUROPEAN: Haku/Ita/Dei/Hina/Saku/Zaku/Kyuu: -Raise hands-

Zakura: UmmKyuubi? Kyuubi: Im voting for OTHER people. Im not wearing that dress. Im double-daring Naruto. Sakura: wait a minuteisnt it true that fans CANT take anything unless theyre the ones that gave it? Zakura: -sighs- Dammit, yes. Sakura: Everyone whos gonna put Naruto in a dress raise your hand!! Everyone (besides Haku, Hina, Kure, Oro, and Gaara): -raise handsZakura: Right on. Naruto: Butbut Kyuubi: Were all saying European right? Everyone: -nodsNaruto: WHY ARE YOU ALL TURNING ON ME?! Sakura: Sorry Naruto, you helped make me play jumanji, after all. Naruto: Dammit. Zakura: UmmOro you didnt say which dress you wanted. Orochimaru: Thats cause I want a evening gown. :) Ayame: YEEEE!! WILL DO!!! Come, Shigure!! Shigure: Perhaps I could make love to you while you work? Ayame: Oh, Shigure, of course. -They skip off to the closetOMG ED AND AL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -everyone stampedes to themEd: AGK! is trampled by tallness-

Gaara: -pulls Ed out of the crowd- Are you all right? Ed: Yeah. coughs- what the fuck is all this? Gaara: A rather youth-draining prison. Youre lucky you have so much youth. Ed: hwa? Gaara: -points to shortnessEd: YOU BASTARD!!! tacklesAl: Brother!! No!! pulls Ed off Gaara- You cant! Ed: Yes I fucking can! I get pulled off to a new dimension and Im STILL called short! WHAT THE HELL!?! Orochimaru: The taller one is sexy as a human, yeah-licks AlAl: HRGM?! Ed: HEY!! drop-kicks Oro- Youre DAMN RIGHT hes cute. And Hes MINE so fuck off!! Itachi: YAY! Brother-incest!! Ed: -horror- Thats NOT WHAT I MEANT!! I MEANT HES MY BROTHER!! Itachi: And hes cute! I completely understand. Trust me! Ed: THATS NOT HOW IT IS!!! Al: -blushing furiouslyLee: I sense an over-flow of angry youth Kabuto: Its called teen angst. They all have it. Lee: Nothis is something more Kabuto: -sighs and rolls eyesDeidara: I understand why you don't want to leave. It seems fun in there... And if you 'get it on' with Sasori, don't you get splinters or whatever they are in very uncomftorable places? Sakura: Thank you for being nice, unlike SOME people that I for some unknown reason adore. And because of that, I'll give you whatever you want! A trip to Hawai after you get out? -smiles with notepad and pencil ready in her handsShikamaru: If you would be able to get something you REALLY want, but you had to work for it, would

you work in order to get this something you want? Bye bye!

Deidara: Oh no, its very nicely finished, no splinters there. He is a MASTER puppeteer after all. Ed: What the hell is this place? Al: Idont knowit scares me Sakura: Oh, no problem. SOMEone has to be nice to the fans. And I probably wont have time for Hawaii, but a day at a spa full of sexy masseusesmmmm Ed: Why are they talking to no one? Al: Maybe theyre all CRAZY. Zakura: Maybe you guys are just not crazy enough. Everyone else had known whats going on. Ayame: DONE!! And I went to the liberty of making a european dress for Ed. Ed: Aa what? Ayame: a DRESS!! shoves him into it- Yay. I knew that arm would challenge m, but it works, eh? Ed: -twitch, twitch- NO!! Al: Heehee, imagine if Roy saw you in that. Ed: -blushes- Shut up Shikamaru: Everything I want requires no work. pauses- well, theres ONE thing, and yes, Id be perfectly willing to expend energy on that. glowers and pulls out paper to write to Choji sulkilyItachi: what age did you take sasukes virginity? Kabuto: ever thought of contact lenses. you have sexy eyes. Haku: Like deidara, do you like confusing people about your gender? June, Aaron and Kit x

Itachi: Well, it was only a little while before the whole killing-spree thing sohe was about eight-ish, I was thirteen. It was good times. Ed: Are you Itachi: Talking about my brother? Yeah. :)

Ed: Oh my god Kabuto: No. I like my glasses. Sakura: Kabuto looks better with Glasses. Haku: You think hes cute! Sakura: I do not! Hinata: Heehee, youre in love! Haku: WE know how youre feelingwho youre thinking of! Sakura: No chance! No way! I wont say it! No! No! Hinata: But you swoon, you sigh! Haku: Why deny it, wa-oh? Sakura: Its too clichd! I wont say Im in love! My heart has learned its lesson! Its only good when you start out. My head is screaming get a grip girlunless youre dying to cry your heart out Haku: You keep on denying who you are and how your feeling-Hinata: Sakura, were not buying, hon, we saw you hit the ceiling. Haku: face it like a grown up, when you gonna own up! Hinata: That you got, got, got it bad!! Kabuto: No chance, no way, I wont say it! No! NO! Lee: Give up, give in!!! Temari: Check the grin youre in love! Kabuto: This scene, WONT play, I wont say Im in love! Lee: Youre doing flips (of youth) Temari: Read our lips, youre in love.

Kabuto: If theres a prize for rotten judgementIve already won that. No one is worth the aggravation, thats ancient history. Been there. Done that. Sakura: Youre way off base, I wont say it! Hinata: She wont say itno Kabuto: Get off my case I wont say it! Hina/Haku: Girl, dont be proud Lee/Tema: Its Ok youre in love!! Sakura: Wellat leastout loud Kabuto: I wont say Im in love. Tema/Lee/Haku/Hina: Shalalalalalaahhhh. Naruto: Sakura-chanwhat are you guys doing? Sakura: Heh? Ohuhnothing Haku/Hina: -giggleZakura: -to Ed- You learn to ignore the random bursting into song. But you guys could have kept it in the right order. Temari: So, you admit you have a crush on Sakura? Kabuto: No. I dont know what the fuck that was but it wasnt about her. glowerLee: THATS what it was about?! No! I thought he was supposed to love Kimi! Kabuto: Were just friends. Lee; So you like MY SAKURA!! Kabuto: NO! I DONT!! Temari: At least not OUT LOUD. Kabuto: Fuck you all! Temari: Wouldnt you be happier with Sakura?

Kabuto: -glowerEd: What about confusing genders? They both look perfectly well like women to me. Haku/Dei: Were not. WA-WA-WA!!!! (That was supposed to be horror music) Ed: O.O Wuh-what? Haku: Im a boy. SmilesDeidara: Me too, see, yeah? Lifts skirtEd: AGGGGH!!! Deidara: In short, yes. I love it, yeah. Haku: It can be rather amusing, teehee.
Itachi: I notice you didn't say you hated me. Thanks! (Gives Itachi a frap with hair-growth formula). Naruto: I give you anti-Kyuubi wards made of uncooked ramen! So you can have your mystical shields, and eat them too! Kurenai: Did Kyuubi break the spikes on the new pan when you failed to damage him with it?

Itachi: -just finishes shaving hair off his forehead- Will it grow in its PROPER place, this time? Zakura: Yup. smilesItachi: Ok-swallows- mmm, delicious! feels for hair- heywtf? Deidara: Whats wrong, yeah? Itachi: -looks down pants- Hahaha, Zakura. Zakura: hey. Its natural right? Itachi: I hate younow I need to shave and trim-sighsNaruto: screw wards, THIS IS RAMEN!!! Wherecan I make this? Zakura: Find a kitchen. Naruto: -whimperKurenai: Nah, all my skillets are still finewell maybe the occasional Jiraiya faceprint. :)

Jiraiya: Ow
HT: ITACHI HATES ME!?!? YOURE MEAN YOU UGLY WHORE! no edward for you. besides, he hasnt come back from capturing the colonel for me. amber: she actually planned it all along to have itachi in a bakini. HT: did not! amber: lies.

Itachi: Hey, dont call Lucifel an ugly whore. She may be that, but thats not reason to Lucifel: one, shes talking to you, ass-face. Itachi: YOU FUCKING BITCH!! I got Ed anyway so :p!! Ed: Were in the place that crazy HT bitch was talking about?! AWW SHIT!!! Lucifel: Also, double revenge. gives Itachi a buzz cutItachi: MeepnonoNOOOOOOO!! Deidara: Yeeshoh, wow, Kisame howd you get here? Kisame: I felt a disturbance in the sexiness of Itachi. Deidara: Right on. Al: Oh, Ed captured the colonel long agoteeheehee Ed: Al, shut up. These people FEED off that kind of thing. If they know, theyll never let us go! Itachi: Fuck you. No more bikini Sakura: So, are you talking to Lucifel now? Itachi: who? Sakura: -sighKisame: You were in a bikini? Hawt. Itachi: Not anymore Im not-snifflesKisame: Itachi, love, you will ALWAYS be the sexiest thing around. hugsItachi: wowthanks-cuddlesKisame: -thinks- SCORE!!

Kiba: here, (hands a seducing kit) might help with the Shino problem. 1. if you were a magical creature what would you be?(Kyuubi, you don't have to answer obveously) 2. do you love me? remember that your answer will effect what i do to you in the future (evil smile)) MiniDeath P.s. (throws in batman and robin)

Shino: Kiba, you better get to work using that. Kiba: Hu, yes sir! tumbles onto ShinoKyuubi: Oh really? Maybe Id like to be a fucking phoenix ever think about that? Naruto: Would you really? Kyuubi: Fuck no. But its insensitive. Naruto: -rolls eyes- Id be a DRAGON!!! Kiba: A werewolf! Shino: Bite me, bitch. Kiba: Omg Sakura: Oh, probably a phoenix, because of the way it continues to be destroyed but gets the power to stand up again. Zakura: Id be the cool version of the phoenix. Sakura: grr. Hinata: Well Haku: A unicorn! Youd HAVE to be! Hinata: Teehee, thanksyoud make a good one too Zabuza: Id be whatever creature it is that corrupts young unicorns. -smirkHaku: Teehee. Neji: Sick. Whichever one gets the most action. Kiba: SLUT!! Kimimaro: Id be a unicorn too, because of the horn thing Naruto: soyoure horny?

Kimimaro: NO! Cause of the bone thing! Naruto: Soyou have a bone? Kimimaro: Knock it off. Gaara: I have a bone of youth. Kimimaro: No. You never say that again. Gaara: sorry Zakura: You cant go asking EVERYONE everything, its gay. Sakura: By which she means it takes up time and unnecessary effort. Zakura: So basically, accept the fact that most fans are completely hated. I mean honestly, who isnt? Kyuubi: I dont mind Kryah! Itachi: I hate them all. Sakura: I dont! Its not theyre fault were all stuck here! Zakura: But it is their fault it SUCKS. Itachi: They had nothing to do with the removal of my hair! Kisame: Youre defending them? Itachi: No, Im arguing for the fun of it. smileKisame: I love your masochistic side. Itachi: -blushOrochimaru: So, are you two a couple? Itachi: Ah, uh, no. Not at all. scoots away from KisameKisame: Awww. thinks- There goes my shot at real-life Itachi pr0n Batman: Robin! TO THE BAT-MOBILE!!

Robin: WhereerrIS the bat mobile? Batman: GASP! If we dont have the bat-mobilewhich backseat will I sodomize you in? Robin: -big teary eyes- No more backseat sexiness?! OH NOES!! Zakura: Hey guys, I think you parked on the bottom of the putrid frap pool Batman: Thanks, citizen. Iw ill be watching you from the shadows. Zakura: Riiiightcreepy, much? Just get out of here. Batman: -swoops offQuick question. If any of you guys(That includes everybody) could turn into a pokemon, what would you be?

Zakura: We answered this one already. Go find it back in the old chapterssomewhere after the first ten I should think Sakura: Oh come on, thats way to much crap to make them shift through! Orochimaru: I wanna be an Arbok!! Zakura: Shut up! Were not answering! Naruto: Well Id be a Bulbasuar Zakura: no.
1) I never really review people hence why I don't have a username and shit.. consider yourself special;) ! 2) I never was into yaoi fanfics and even when I tried to enjoy them I sort of was like.. " yuck.. " and then eventually stopped reading them.. but wow! I can't stop reading yours Your freakin' amazing! I kept literally laughing out loud up untill chapter 18, and now I'm sort of tired to read and go on to the next chapter. I'll get there tomorrow, but yeah I thought you'd be pretty darn happy to know that you got someone else into the sexy yaoi action. I also think the whole Ask Sakura thing is like, hilarious. Well yeah, I guess this is a pretty long review huh? It's actually the longest one I've ever written in my life! .. you ARE speciall! Yeah.. long review.. I hope you enjoy reading about how I'm completely falling for your story. Duckyy

Sakura: Wowwere appreciated Itachi: Is there any questions there? Zakura: nope. Just wanted to show how much the fans are enjoying this. Lucifel: enjoying ME. Naruto: -snrrrk- theyre enjoying you are they?

Sakura: SICKO!!
Alright, Sakura-bitch. You cannot have my name as your english name! Cause it's MY NAME, not FUCKING YOURS! Also, I have a problem with you stealing Kabuto too... STOP STEALING MY THINGS! I have a stupid question - has either Sakura or Zakura tried punching through the wall? Or is it just futile? I have just one more thing - A big kiss for Kabuto and a hug for everyone who's unoccupied. Love, Rose.

Sakura: OkI found a fan I dont like Zakura: YES!! Sakuras being a bitch! Sakura: Im not! She is! Zakura: ZING! And the fans go rabid and try to tear our little main character apart! Sakura: Shut up! Shes mean! Im not stealing anything! I dont want her name! Zakura: Trust me, itll be futile. And haha, I reject that kiss. To Kabuto it goes Sakura: Too bad, hes exempt. sticks out tongue-kiss falls flatKabuto: HAHA!! In your face Rose-bitch! You will never have me! NEVAR!! crazy eye-twitchTemari: That cant be healthy Lee: Or youthful! You are not youthful Kabuto! Sakura needs someone with youth! Kabuto: Fuck what Sakura needs, What I need is to get away from the crazy fangirl
-Huge teary eyes- I-I'm sorry...I'M A BAD PERSON! I cheated on Lucifel, Ignored you all while only pampering Kyuu-chan, and am now with holding a new chapter of my story from lucifel! Oh, and Sasuke said he'd rather die a Virgin Itachi-sama. I'm depressed now... Free goodies to whoever can cheer me up... UNsincerely, Kryah

Orochimaru: Oooh, yeah, youre pretty much the worst person ever, better go jump off a bridge Kyuubi: Who cares if youre a bad person?! So am I, and Im fucking awesome! Itachi: I want my hair back

Zakura: No one fucking cares. Itachi: Well, Im not gonna like ANYONE until I get my hair back. Kisame: -gasp- MUST GET ITACHIS HAIR BACK!! Zakura: Fine, you can stay until that happens. Kisame: Yesss Ayame: Hey! Shigure and I are leaving now! Zakura: you cant. Ayame: Yes I can. Im a cross-over throw in. I can leave. Lucy and I agreed. Zakura: -glares at Lucifel- Well, LUCY, ever think about me? Lucifel: -shrugsAyame: Were gonna find Hatori and Yuki!! Shigure: Why Yuki? Ayame: Because hes my adorable little brother! Shigure: I want an adorable little brother -they go offZakura: Anyway, I guess well just have to keep Ed around extra long then. Ed: Waitwhat? Zakura: Al can leave though. Al: Oh ok, see you brother! Ed: NowaitWHAT?! Al you cant leave! Al: youll be fine, Ill tell the colonel you say hi! Ed: I HATE YOU!! Al: Love you too. goes away-

Ed: -crushedOrochimaru: Gotta love that brotherly love. Itachi: I do. And I willbetter commit suicide FAST, little AU Sasuke, Im coming for youmuwahahaha Orochimaru: Can I watch?
OMG! All Akatski Characters are cute! Hidan and Itachi are the best looking though. Anyway...Sakura...Ask Tobi if he were to find a copy of himself while walking in the woods, but that copy was EVOL and CUTER, what would he do and would he drag it back to show Zetsu? And does Deidara really have a mouth in his chest?

Itachi: Hidan might be able to pull off the buzz cut Kisame: But hed still be less sexy than you. Itachi: -sigh- truebut still Zakura: Damn, you might want to let yourself have a bit of an ego, Itachi. Being so humble can be damaging. Sakura: Oh ok. Tobi? puts on voice- Yes? off- Would you drag a copy of yourself that you found randomly to show Zetsu? on- yes! I am a good boy! off- WTF! I dont even know who Tobi is! Why should I know? Tobi: -finds copy of self in woods- Tobi is a good boy and will show Zetsu right away!! Deidara: Maaaaaybe. Itachi: Deidaratell them. Deidara: -secret smile- I said MAYBE. Yeah. Zakura: He said yeah. shrugs- good enough. Sakura: -rolls eyesYou did it, you sung it beautifully! Wait how can I actually tell the quality of the music if it's just being read by a random fanboy? Zakura: that little typo that Haku spoke made me laugh a lot, so I dare you to use your near infinite control over this inane world to give Haku Tsunade sized boobs. Kyuubi: your fling with Ninetails disgusts me because you're pathetic. I hope you realize that Kyuubi translates as Ninetails, so in essence that amazing bit of sex you just had was simply masturbation. Itachi:NO RAPING ED! oh and as for the whole hating me thing, I dare you to go Three chapters without any references to sex. So, fuck you bastard.

Zakura: You know it to be awesome because it WAS.

Hinata: -teehee- thanks Haku: woahthese are hilarious! starts playing with boobsJiraiya: I cant tell if Im disturbed or turned on Orochimaru: -grabs crotch- hmmfeels like horny. Jiraiya: O.O Zabuza: Dammit, but I liked his smooth, childish chestthats just obnoxious. Haku: And bouncy! Hee. bounces up and downKyuubi: That was NOT masturbation for pure reason that I do not masturbate with a gorgeous female nine-tailed fox underneath and around me. Also, its not as if when two people of the same name screw its masturbation so go fuck yourself kid. Itachi: He apparently WANTS to fuck me. Sakura: Its a figure of speech. And remember, Lucifel cut off your hair for insulting this guys last time. Itachi: Meepaww, WHY NOT?! Ed: Cause I dont want to! Thats SICK!! What the hell?! cowersItachi: What if I can make him consent? Ed: YOU CANT!! I dont like men with ugly hair-styles! Itachi: -crushed- -walks over to a corner, crouches, and starts tracing circles in the dustKisame: -hugs1. this just might be the randomest fanfic I've read since Cars: The Documentary...I'm just curious, who here has heard of Disney Pixar's Cars? I've seen it nine times! 2. yes! the potion worked! but it's supposed to wear off after a while...oh well, here Gaara, have a muffin for your trouble. 3. at the reception, (of the wedding I was at) everyone was too busy dancing to music that they recognized from Trinidad (a small island in the Carribean where the families of both the bride and groom come from) to eat the cake that was given out so...I brought some to give to you guys! it's like a kind of spice cake. enjoy! -hums to Trinidadian song-The Muffinator 3

Naruto: OOH! OOH! I have! Everyone else: -stares-

Naruto: It was good Gaara: But was it youthful? Zakura: Its a fucking kids movie. Yeah, it was youthful. Gaara: Then we should all watch it to inspire our youth. Zakura: no. Gaara: Aww Kimimaro: This is way too freakyack! Eat it! Eat the muffin fast!! Kankuro: -twitchGaara: What? Why? Kimimaro: JUST EAT IT!! Gaara: -swallows wholeKankuro: -lunges at stomachGaara: OOMPH!! the begin to tumble around the roomEveryone: CAKE!!!!!!! Itachi: I think I remember this girl being gone now, there was significantly less bakery good without hermmm Ed: -sneaks towards cake cautiouslysniffs.DEVOURSKiba/Shino: CLIMAX AND COLLAPSE!! they lie on the bed pantingtheyll be getting along well for a while nowheheLucifel: Well, not much to it, but thats it for now. Sorry about the Wednesday night update. Ive been in a weird sort of state. Im trying to figure out a way to get myself OK again, so bear with me. Also, Ive been busy. But hey, so long as Im updating once a week, were good. ^_^ See you all next week! Love ya!

Ask Sakura 39 Lucifel: OMG!!! LOOK HOW EARLY THIS IS!! EVERYONE FREAK OUT!!!! Now I dont feel bad for the following; please go read Loyalty Eternal. Im gonna be updating it a lot now that Summer Wind is done. (For me, you all have to wait twenty more weeks for the whole thing) Anyway, the point is, that story gets no love. I understand if you havent read/or seen Samurai Champloo or Samurai Deeper Kyo its kind of weird, but Ive heard only good things from the people that do read it and Im really proud of it, so please give it a look. While youre at it, check out Summer Wind Too, ok? Its gonna be twenty-four short chapters, updates Fridays, awesome Naru/Kyuu fluff and some humor, and some drama, and some really deep stuff about whats important. ONE LAST THING!! After reading further in Shippuden, Ive decided that this story has a fixed date of right after the Deidara/Sasori arc. So, yeah, there ya go. God, Im a mooch. Anyway, moving on! Sakura: bout damn time. Geez. Lucifel: One more thing.

Sakura: ARG!! Lucifel: Ceyx and his girlfriend might break up over liking or not liking Moondance, everyone point a laugh! Sakura: I thought he was your beloved son? Lucifel: Which is why Im getting him used to ridicule! How else will he survive the world? Sakura: Youre the worst parents ever. Zakura: you could use a dose of that, kiddo.
I have fun with Lucifiel-chan. *Perverted grin* Kyuubi: I dare you to make-out with Sakura. Kabuto: *Hands you totally bad-ass glasses* Here. P.S. *Tosses The Joker, from Batman Comics* Have fun, Mr. J!

Lucifel: Teehee, ^_^ Sakura: EwwEWW!! NO! No Kyuubi!! Kyuubi: YeahIm transferring that toOrochimaru. Orochimaru: Hwa? Sakura: GUH?! Orochimaru: But shes soNICE. Jiraiyas the sweetest I can take. poutsKyuubi: Sorry, Its been transferred. Sakura: NO! I refuse! I wont let Orochimaru: Well, if I have to. Sakura: WHAT?! Orochimaru: -pounces and starts doing a lot of strange things with his tongue that make Sakura screamit could be horror, ecstasy, or ticklish-ness, who can tell?Sakura: -scrambles away gasping- That was disturbing Orochimaru: She tasted like bubblegum. scrunches noseNaruto: -disturbed-

Kabuto; Eh, Im not one for bad-ass-ness. shrugs and admires his Elton Johns some moreTemari: This is why you dont get laid, Kabuto. Kabuto: Hey fuck you, I get laid. Temari: Yeah, when Orochimaru gets bored with Sasuke. Kabuto: You suck. Temari: You wish. Ed: -is traumatized by Orochimarus tongue- Its worse than gluttony Orochimaru: And sexier! Ed: -twitchJoker: -cacklesKyuubi: Weak. Joker: What? Kyuubi: The cackle. It was weak. Joker: Well, I dare you to do any better. Kyuubi: -smirks- Eheheheh, hahaha, HEHEHEHHEEHEHHRUUUUUUUHEHEHEHE. Joker: O.O anyone seen batman? Zakura: Through the door to the bottom of the putrid pool. Joker: thankswait a minutewhat about Robin? Zakura: there too. Joker: Oh, cool. goes to poolZakura: I love throw-ins. Orochimaru: Mmmm, me too. scoots towards EdEd: -scoots awayinto Itachi-

Itachi: Well, hello. Ed: AGK! dashes to hide under the bedItachi: Aww, hes so little he can curl under the bed. Ed: -twitch- GRAHH!! rips through bed- I AM NOT LITTLE!! Deidara: -pantses Ed- Oh, well I guess hes notyeah Ed: GAH!!! pulls pants up franticallytrips and fallsItachi: KYA! Look at that adorable butt! Ed: I wanna die
Sakura: A day to the most glamorous spa you can find has been reserved for you! And yes, it IS filled with sexy masseuses. And there might be a few women too, just for Zakura's joy. Itachi: I feel so bad for you... And your beautiful hair! Here! -hands a hair growing cookie- hope it helps, Shikamaru: What might this something you want but must work for be? Maybe... Chouji? -grins evillyEd: ZOMG! MUST HUGGLE! -pounces ed, squeezes and gives a kiss-

Sakura: YES!! Zakura: Yeah, well see how that works out. Sakura: Dont you want it too? Zakura: -shrugs- But I have no power after we get outits a shame really. Itachi: Please work Kisame thinks- Please dont work so I can stick around longer. Itachi: -eats cookiegrows hippie beard, but no cranium hair- DAMMIT! goes to shave- At least I got a cookie Kisame: :3 Shikamaru: I wouldnt have to work to get Choji. Kiba: Yeah, hes totally obsessed with Shikamaru Shino: -snuggles in Kibas lapKiba: -smiles and hugsZakura: So what is it?

Shikamaru: I dont believe I was told to tell you that. Zakura: They asked what it was. Shikamaru: They asked if it was Choji. Zakura: They so did ask you! Shikamaru: I refuse to take it that way. Zakura: Lazy ass. Shikamaru: Ayep. dozesEd; -is just getting pants on- OMGWTF?!? Sakura: Heh, sorry, they do that sometimes Ed; WHO?! Sakura: The fans Ed: I hate this place.
aww poor tachi *throws in a wig* Kankuro, do you know your outfit makes you look like a cat? KISAME! Why are you always so nice...I shall help, i dare you to makeout with tachi for 10 mins hmm...*throws in cookies and quickly glomps you all* June x

Itachi: -looks at blonde, curly wig- wtf? Zakura: She didnt specify what KING of wig. Evil smileItachi: -puts on- Ugh, I make an awful blonde -throws offKiba: -playfully put on Shinos head- Eugh, that looks terrible Shino: Thanks so much Kankuro: So? snuggles next to Gaara- Meow. LicksGaara: -confusedKimimaro: Lets not do that, K? Takes Gaara away from KankuroKankuro: Dammit

Itachi: Oh now, were just Kisame: OK!!! glomps Itachi on the pieces of bed left after Eds anger and starts kissing and groping Itachi like crazyOro/Dei: -snack on cookies and watchShino: I wish you wouldn't try to change Kiba so much... you can't change the one you love... watch! Kiba: this is for you! (gives him a deep dish pie the size of a hot tub) Deidara: do you brush the teeth on your extra mouths?

Shino: Really? Seems to be working ok for me. Kiba: PIE!!!! dives into pieShino: -sighs and goes over to grab some pieNaruto: I want some!! Kiba: NO! If anyone wants some of my pie they have to blow me for it! Shino: -twitch- what? Kiba: Ummmy way of saying no one gets any? Shino: Right Deidara: -while eating cookies stillwith stolen pie on them- Oh yeah, of course, I couldnt go having decay on those little babies, it would affect my art. yeah Sasori: coughnotartcough. Deidara: -puppy eyes- Why are you so mean, yeah? Sasori: Im not. Im evil. Theres a difference. Evil is the art version of mean. Like the difference between you and me. Deidara: -blinks and turns to Oro- Should I be offended, yeah? Orochimaru: It sounded mean, whatever he meant. Deidara: MEANIE!! sobs against Oros shoulderHT: ED! amber: this is so gay... HT: yeah... does anyone want pudding? amber: is ed a virgin? HT: random question, but i wanna know too! also, who there doesnt hate me?

amber: nobody. now shut up and get me some fucking chocolate cake. HT: not this again...

Ed: ACK! Hides behind KurenaiKurenai: Why hide behind me? Ed: most coverage? Kiba: Oooh, bad idea. watches Ed sail by after being slammed in the head by a skilletOrochimaru: Ill take some! Deidara: Yum! Yeah! Ed: Iuh-shakes head from nausea- um, no. Neji: Whod you lose it to? Ed: Ahno one. Itachi: A relative? Ed: NO! SICKO! Itachi: Yes, yes I am. Sakura: I dont hate you very much, HT, I just wish you wouldnt capture Sasuke Gaara: You are full of youth! How could I hate that? Kimimaro: If he was normal right now hed hate youa lot. Kankuro: Yeah he would. Itachi: Ooh, are we bossing HT around again? Fun times. I want STEAK! Deidara: Steak, yeah? Itachi: Yeah, steak, Im hungry for some good meat. Orochimaru: -pats hips- well, come get some. Lucifel: I like you HT! Naruto: Wellit dependshow much ramen will I get for liking you?

Kiba: -passes out from too much pie consumptionShino: -sighs and drags him out of pie dishKyuubi: sorry for not including you in that one question to prove i'm sorry here (gives big screen tv with surround sound and many r and x rated movies) enjoy! everyone else: so you hate me eh? that's so sad because i went through alot of trouble to get all this food and clothes. (points to a pile of clean clothing and another pile of healthy food and junk food alike) MiniDeath.

Kyuubi: Well, Im not much of a movie but-checks out movies- I guess youre forgiven. No liked, but forgiven. goes to watch movies, dragging Naruto with himNaruto: Why are you taking me?! Kyuubi: I want company and you need to be desensitized. Naruto; Are those sexy movies? Kyuubi: Some of them. Naruto: Im in. Kiba: Food-reaches weaklyShino: You still have a quarter of a pie, calm down, were good. Orochimaru: CLOTHES!! That means dresses! Without Ayame we wont get as nice of ones anymore! I want these! I like you! Sasori: Lies. Orochimaru: but its a NICE lie. Sasori: right Orochimaru: Youre damn right, right.
First of all -drags and throws Kabuto next to SakuraKabu/Saku: I am SICK of you too denying ur freaking feelings EVERY chapter. NO MORE. This is the last time. If u guys pass the test I'll no longer think u two like eachother. AND NO FREAKING SWITCHING OUT OF IT! THE TEST: You two go into the closet thingy.First of all you have to hold each others hands while in there. Then you have to kiss once. Then say with a straight face, "I have absolutely no feelings for you" to eachother. Then after lean in once more but do not kiss, let go and walk out of the closet. Got it? Good. Everyone else: Are they in there? Yeah? Okay. Well I set up secret cameras (you all can watch on the big screen of Itachi's if you want too) in there so if you want get some action on this pay attention: The Bet Pool: a. They wont be able to let go and walk away from eachother. b. They won't be able to finish saying the words they're supposed to. c. They won't be able to stop the FIRST kiss. d. They'll be able to do the whole thing. The Prize: For everyone who gets the answer correct, they'll get the once-in-a-lifetime chance of

becoming THE FAN. Which means you get to ask questions/dare the other people who either didnt vote or lost the bet. HAVE FUN!

Sakura: First of all, thats not going to Eyeball: .URRRRRRRRPPPP!! spits out Kabuto and he gets fan-dragged over to SakuraKabuto: wtf? Lucifel: Eyeball got indigestion, what ya gonna do? Gaara: What about my youthful comrade? Zakura: guess hes still stuck. Lee: Kabuto? Kabuto? Temari: Just you and me now kid Lee: Aww man. Temari: -twitch- whats that supposed to mean? Lee: huh? Temari: -fan-slapZakura: Anyway, yeah, rules are as the fan stated em. GO. Kabuto: Im immune! Zakura: -grabs Gaaras unused neon blue potion and shove down Kabutos throat- There. No longer immune. Kabuto: What? Thats not right! Zakura: yeah it is, it negates the effects of the last potion you took. Kimimaro: Why didnt we use that on Gaara?! Zakura: Cause youre all retarded and didnt think of it? Kimimaro: -gapesZabuza: I have a blue potion if you want.

Kimimaro: Well, at least he wont be like Lee anymore Gaara: But I enjoy my youth! Kimimaro: But this isnt healthy and will probably kill your youth faster, Gaara: -grabs and drinks- Guh, what an un-youthful flavor, like feet. Kimimaro: is that it? Gaara: -thinks- yes. Zakura: That was a DARK blue potion, dumbass. Kimimaro: And all it does is taste like feet? Zakura: Yeah, thats about right. Kimimaro: what the hell. Zabuza: That was totally worth giving away. Haku: I have no more boobs! Zabuza: Why not? Haku: Cuz Im cuter this way. smilesZabuza: fair enough. tacklesKabuto: II dont want toI want to pass it! Zaku/Lucy: NO!!! Kabuto: Eh. Sakura: -sitting in silent horrorZakura: Get on with it. Kabuto: Lets go Sakura. grabs her hand and pulls her to the closet and closes the doorZakura: right on. Place your bets. A: Ita/Dei/Nej/Hak/Hina

B: Kure/Sas/Kimi/Shin/Gaa C: Kiba/Jira/Zabu/Kank D: Shikamaru Not voting: Naruto/Kyuubi/Manda Zakura: Orochimaru, why didnt you vote? Orochimaru: I say that Kabuto will be able to do everything, and Sakura will get half-way through saying the one bit, and then Kabuto will take pity on her and theyll have steamy make-outs. Itachi: Can I change my vote? Zakura: No, now lets watch. Kyuubi: No thanks, Id rather watch this. Naruto: -looks overKyuubi: -pulls him back-They stand facing each other in the far corner, hands intertwined, staring at each other deeply.Sakura: Ummnice new glasses. Kabuto: Lets just do this, Sakura. Sakura: -gulps and closes her eyes, leaning forwardKabuto: -kisses for three seconds and leans back- I have absolutely no feelings for you. ultra coldEveryone(beside Shika): BOOOOO!!!! Sakura: -frozen in horror- Kabuto: Say it, Sakura. Sakura: II have-lip quiversKabuto: Would you stop being such a damn annoying whimp and just say it already?

Everyone: -GASPSakura: I have absolutely no feelings Kabuto: -raises eyebrowsSakura: for you Kabuto: -closes eyes for a moment, and then leans in.Sakura: -slapsKabuto: O.O Everyone: O.O Sakura: Im leaving. Stalks out of closet-TV turns offEveryone: =O Shikamaru: -ahemEveryone: -turns and stares at ShikamaruNaruto: Howd you know? Shikamaru: Basic logic. Either one of them has no feelings for the other, and therefore the atmosphere wouldnt be too intense to keep them from completely. Or, the more likely scenario, one or both of them would realize and/or think that to admit their feelings would be a fruitless endeavor that would only lead to a lot of pain because they both have greater cause to be loyal too, and therefore would force the whole thing to go through. Sakura: -coming out of closet- Or, one and/or both of them would realize that the man is the biggest asshole in this whole fucking room and hes not worth the emotional investment because I fucking know better by now than to fall for bastards with a fucked up need for Orochimarus perverted power. Orochimaru: Ouch. Zakura: -stands up and walks over to SakuraSakura: Dont even start, bitch, Im not about to

Zakura: -hugsSakura: -shockedEveryone; -CONFUSEDZakura: Thatwas fucking awesome. Sakura: -collapses against Zakuras shoulder, shaking slightly but not cryingZakura: That was quite the speech. Youre getting better, kiddo Neji: I should have just waited and voted whichever one Shikamaru chosedammit. Kiba: dude, youre so weird. Neji: Whats weird about not wanting to lose? Kiba: Hello?! Epic moment happening here?! Neji: Does it affect me? No. So what the fuck ever, Naruto: -still CONFUSEDOrochimaru: Its not my fault Im sexier than her-snifflesItachi: That was so much funI almost forgot life sucks right now. Kisame: We can make out again. Itachi: no. Kisame: daaaaammit.
Your going to kill me ^_^ but seriously I had to do something while I was on holiday... 1) Does anyone agree that Sasuke looks scarily feminine when hes in cursed seal form? 2) Jiraiya I have decided that you are actually quite hot when your acting serious ^_^ BIG HUG though your bangs make it look like your face I square 3) Throws in Pakun (kakashis dog) 4) Jiraiya do you wear eyeliner? It looks like you do do you borrow Gaaras eyeliner? 5) Lee did you steal Gaaras eyebrows and dye them to make yours bigger? or 6) Gaara did you shave off your eyebrows? And if so why? 7) Jiraiya did you steal Kibas families face paint to get the red lines? 8) Why did you become a hermit and would you ever eat frog? 9) Naruto why do you never call Jiraiya your Sensai? 10) Itachi what are and how do you use those hologram things? You could sell the knowledge to the carbon footprint people and make millions! 11) Sakura I would like to help you break out of the world of depression ^_^ Here is a cosplay box Marudono is going to choose who you cosplay and he can make you change as much as possible over the next three instalments? Episodes? Chapters? Dates with destiny lol? 12) Does anyone else ever get the urge to rub Narutos head with a balloon and see just how much bigger his hair gets?

13) How come we never see anyone fall on his or her face while tree jumping and daydreaming? Sakura youd be a prime candidate. 14) Naruto WHY are you SUCH a GOSSIP? 15) Jiraiya how did you get magic hair? 16) Is it just me? Or does Sasame in episode 137 remind you of Hinata apart from the weird hairstyle? 17) Can a substitution Justu be used on a kage bushin? 18) Naruto I feel it is my duty to tell you how cute you look without your forehead protector even if youd never willingly take it off 19) Kagerou reminds me of Kimimaro. Specially since theyre both so pale and are only in very few episodes XD 20) Kabuto you were so showing off in front of Sakura instead of attacking her in 139 am I right? Sorry I saw the next episode it wasnt you lol 21) Are the Fuuma clan minions of the Jiraiya cult? He-Yan

Zakura: Lucifel, Wtf is this? Lucifel: questions-innocent grinZakura: Are we answering them all? Lucifel: -sigh- nojust the ones in bold. Zakura: Good. Fucking He-Yan. Naruto: -shakes off confusion- Cuz sensai aint a word, HA!! Jiraiya: You know what she meant. smacks- And why dont you call me sensei? I deserve the respect. Naruto: No you dont. Youre just a pervert. Itachi: Its because if Jiraiyas just a pervert Naruto doesnt have too feel as bad about enjoying it when Jiraiya touches him at night. Naruto: Yeah! Waitwhat?! YOU TOUCH ME!?! Jiraiya: no, Naruto, I dont. glares at ItachiOrochimaru: was that a what a fucked up thing to say glare, or a how dare you reveal my secret glare. Jiraiya: The latter. Kiba: What the fuck about a ladder? Shino: -smacks for bad punKiba: Sorry, couldnt help it. Itachi: Not until now butdoes anyone have a balloon?!

Neji: I have a condom! Kiba: -snrkItachi: Good enough. Grabs and blows into it- AWW FUCK! You could have told me it was used!! Neji: -shrugs- I figured it was obvious. Itachi: Whos is this? Neji: Orochimarus. Itachi: ok then. continuesNaruto: If you rub that on my head Ill kill you!! runs behind KurenaiItachi: K, Ill just try it on Ed. Ed: O.o runs over to Naruto and starts trying to pull him out- GET OUT HERE YOU STUPID KID!! I AM NOT GOIG TO TAKE THIS FOR YOUR FUCKING SAKE!! I DONT EVEN BELONG HERE!! Naruto: NO!!! NOOOO!!! NEVAR!!! Kiba: Oh, it happens. Just not during dramatic scenes, yknow? It just doesnt work. But if you see Hinata on the average dayoh man, its HILARIOUS. Hinata: Kiba-blushZakura: Yeah, Sakuras done it before, teehee. Sakura: Screw you. Zakura: Thats worse than incest, babe. Sakura: -.Jiraiya: Its a secret! Orochimaru: He got shocked by a pikachu and was never the same again. Jiraiya: I hate you Kiba: DUDE!! AWESOME!!!

Jiraiya: And noIm a hermit. We dont have minionsbut that would be awesome. daydreamsKiba: -smacks face with treeJiraiya: WTF?! Kiba: It seemed appropriate! Jiraiya: BUT HOW DID YOU GET A TREE?! Kiba: -shrugs- the necessity creates the means. Shino: what?
Ok this is 4 everybody but Sakura and Kabuto! Everybody: What do u think Kabuto's and Zakura kid would look like if the ever had one?

Sakura: -horrorZakura: Wowwas worse timing POSSIBLE?! Neji: Could have been the question right after it I guess Zakura: I guess... Orochimaru: Adorable! Like Sakura but with a smaller forehead, longer nose and glasses. Sakura: My forehead is fine Zakura: What, no fuck you? You still have work to do dear
To the rest (except Kyuubi) I gave fraps, cookies and chocolate. If he tries nicking some of it use this (pushes in chakra resistant cage full of spikes.) You wanted to turn into a pokemon Kiba? Here (claps hands) You can change into any pokemon you want for one chapter. To Deidara and Sasori I give lots of hugs and kisses. Ciao!

Kyuubi: Excuse me? tears cage apart with his bear hands, chakra free, and throws the pieces into the pooland conks the joker on the head- Now I want some chocolate. Kurenai: No. Kyuubi: What? Kurenai: I. Said. NO!! demonic voice and fiery eyes-

Kyuubi: I can settle for Cookies. Dont ever underestimate my raw strength WITHOUT chakra, bitch. Kiba: WOOT!! turns into an arkanine- ARK! turns into mightyena- MIGHTY!! turns into growlithe- LITHE!! goes crazy running around having waaaay too much funSasori: NO! GET AWAY!! Deidara: YAY! accepts happilySasori: -dives at eyeball, ricochets off, and then the eyeball flings its tongue out and gobbles him upOrochimaru: hugs arent THAT badgeez Sasori: Whew, safe. Lee: O.o Temari: Mrow. Orochimaru: Kabuto still no out of the closetmaybe I should go check on him. Kimimaro: -blocks way- Give him some time, Orochimaru-sama, hell be fine -Tears splash on the closet floorAsk Sakura 40 Lucifel: FORTY!! POW!! Can you believe it? I am SO AWESOME!! Sakura: This is going to take YEARS off my life. Zakura: Eh, dont worry about it, youve got two lives to live anywayyours and mine. Sakura: And that makes a lot of sense. Zakura: you fucking bet it does. Eyeball: -spits Sasori back outSakura: Wtf? Lucifel: the eyeball couldnt take the woodteeheehee

Sasori: -glaresHands Sakura/Zakura each a pitcher of Midori Margaritas. I just need a tally -- everyone, not including yourself, vote for the two people you think would or are the cutest couple in the room. The cutest couple has to kiss. ASTA LA BYEBYE!

Zakura: Ooohyum. Come on, kiddo, you can have one of these with me for what you did in the last chapter. But just one. Sakura: Iyeah-she and Zakura go and relax on old pool chairs sipping margheritasLucifel: Oh yeah. Back-to-school theme for the chapter. Sakura: Back to school theme?! What the hell!! Kurenai: How does a back to school theme even work? -The room is now set up like a classroom, with rows of desks (which everyone is forced to sit at) with a blackboard at the far end and a teachers desk where Sakura and Zakura stand in full teacher regalia, still sipping margaritasKurenai: Ahthis is ridiculous! These outfits are demeaning! Itachi: Have you SEEN what you usually where? Kurenai: Thats different. Its the whole pedophilia-inspiring thing thats wrong with this. Orochimaru: but its so much FUN! Kiba: Why is Sakura the teacher?! Zakura: Cause Sakuras the main character Kiba: and YOU?! Zakura: I count as Sakura. Kiba: No fair Zakura: YOU WANT DETENTION BITCH?! Kiba: no Zakura: Good. Orochimaru: -raises hand- Teacher! Teacher!

Zakura: Yes? Orochimaru: Kabutos still not out yet, can I go get him? Zakura: No. You guys would shag first. Kimimaro please go get Kabuto out of the closet. Kiba/Naru/Gaa: -snickerKimimaro: Yes maam Sakura: -gulpsZakura: hey, youre doubly in control now. Calm down, were good. Kyuubi: -loosens his tie, musses his hair, unbuttons the top bit of his shirt and puts his feet up on his deskNaruto: Sakuraaaa!! Kyuubis breaking the rules! Kyuubi: Number one rule everywhereKyuubi can do whatever the fuck he wants. Zakura: Pretty much. Naruto: Man. Kimimaro: Kabuto? You coming to class? Kabuto: Oh, is that why Im in the get-up all of a sudden? Kimimaro: Yupyou coming? Kabuto: hows Sakura? Kimimaro: Did you hear her speech? Kabuto: ahyeah Kimimaro: Still like that. Kabuto: Oh. Dammit Kimimaro: Why did you do it Kabuto? Kabuto: Its better this way. I love Orochimaru; I have to break her heart sooner or later.

Kimimaro: -sighs and loosens his tie- KabutoI know how much you love Orochimaru, but dont you think you should try out a normal relationship, just once? Kabuto: That would be cruel. Orochimaru always comes first for me. Kimimaro: In the larger scheme of things, sure, but this is the one chance you have to sit back and say fuck it to the rest of the world and maybe, for just a little while, have something normal and healthy Kabuto: Who says I even want her anyway? Kimimaro: -walks up, smiles sadly and brushes Kabutos cheek- I have watched you for a long time Kabuto, and I know every subtle nuance of every expression. Kabuto: Creepy much? Kimimaro: Heh, the point is, I know you Kabuto. And the way you look at her, mixed with the fact that your eyes are currently bloodshot from crying Kabuto: -rubs eyes- are not. Kimimaro: Just think about it. Lets go to class. Kabuto: Eickfine Zakura: -as they come out- About damn time, ass holes. Kimimaro: Sorry. Zakura: Anyway, Im gonna give the couples. Well pick four just to make it easy. Couple number A is Shikamaru: number A? Zakura: dont be a smart-ass. A is Orochimaru and Jiraiya. Orochimaru crosses fingersZakura: B is Haku and Naruto. Zabuza: WaitWHAT?! Haku: -teehee-

Naruto: -shocked and excitedZakura: C is Shikamaru and Choji. Shikamaru: Chojis not HERE. Nor are we a couple. Zakura: Fuck off, kid, and couple D is Gaara and Lee. Orochimaru: What about Kabuto and Sakura? Kabuto: -hides under deskZakura: no. Orochimaru: What about Kyuubi and Naruto?! What about Hinata and Naruto? Zakura: IN THE CORNER! Slams dunce cap onto headOrochimaru: awww-goes to corner.Zakura: All those in favor of couple a? Oro/Ita/Gaa(who Is totally confused)/Kure/Dei Zakura: B? Zabuza: -glares at everyoneKyuubi: -raises hand to be defiantNaruto: -starts to raise and stops after looking at ZabuzaHaku: -raises hand, gigglingZabuza: -gaspKyuubi: Oh come on, theyre cute. Ill keep Zabuza off anyone he might want to kill. Naru/Haku/Zaku/Sas/Neji Zakura: C? Kiba/Shin/Kabu/Kank Zakura: And D?

Kimi/Oro/Zabu/Saku/Jira/Shika/Hina Zakura: Right on. Gaara, kiss Lee. Gaara: But Lees not hereand why would I? Kimimaro: Itll help your youth. Gaara: how? Kimimaro: By, umm, utilizing your sexual energy? Gaara: That doesnt make any sense. Zakura: Well, whenever Lee gets out herewait a minute, Oro, you cant vote twice. You cant even vote once cause youre in the corner. Orochimaru: Awwwell, one of my picks won anyway. Zakura: Nope, everyone you vote for is now negated. That maens the winner is Naru/Haku. Haku: teehee. Zabuza: -twitch- Naruto Haku: -kisses Naruto adorably across his deskNaruto: -blushes furiously and discreetly kisses backHaku: AwwZabuzas much better. Zabuza: -pulls Haku into his lap and hold his protectively, fumingZakura: Students are to remain in their seats. Zabuza: I dont give a fuck if Zakura: IN THEIR SEATS!! Everyone is in their seats again, with their butts glued to the seatAlright, I have a nickname It's ero-sennin. What the fuck did I do to deserve the name ero-sennin. I'm not a fucking hermit! What even is a hermit? ~ero-ero

Jiraiya: But thats MY nick-name!

Zakura: -cracks ruler on desk- NO TALKING UNLESS YOU RAISE YOUR HAND FIRST. Deidara: -raises handZakura: Yes? Deidara: A hermit is a person who lives on their own in a secluded place, usually because they did something bad so they dont want to see people anymore, yeah. Zakura: You kind of lied about that last bit, but good enough. And Ero means pervert so youre probably a perverted little girl. Which is ok, youre in good company. grinsKabuto deserves less teasing from the rest of you... he can't help it Maru-dono has brainwashed him with his smexiness Actually... Kabuto where would you be now if not with Maru-dono... or in place for a matter of fact Plus I would like to compliment Luci on her loophole through my questions I am very impressed He-Yan

Kabuto: Exactly! Thank you! Zakura: I can make you sit out too. We have FOUR corners. Kabuto: -sits with his mouth sealed shutZakura: You may answer the question, Kabuto. Kabuto: I dont know. Probably still working for Sasori Naruto: YOU WERE WORKING FOR SASORI!?! Zakura: Later in the plot-line kiddo. Kabuto: So yeah, Id just be in the akatsuki. Deidara: -raises handZakura: Yes? Deidara: He looks cute in an akatsuki coat, yeah. :3 Sakura: Thanks so much for that-rubs foreheadLucifel: Thanks for the compliment. Sakura: Stop putting random compliments to yourself in here. Thats not what this for! Lucifel: Sorry.

Kisame, are you a half shark? if so How the fuck did that happen? and i dnt mean the fricking birds and the bees, i mean how the hell did a human and shark have sex, its a bit whacked out dnt ya think? Oh and for the akatsuki gang, what is zetsu? a chessboard or a venus flytrap? oh and Naruto did you know your ears stick out? *chucks in a pink wig for tachi* XD June x Kisame: Nowellmaybe, Im not sure. Itachi: Ive heard of dolphins raping divers, but not sharks. They usually just eat them maybe youre really a dolphin. Kisame: I AM NOT A DOLOPHIN! Zakura: -stabs him with a pencil- No yelling in class!! Kisame: OW! RIGHT UP MY GILL!! Naruto: You seriously have a gill? Kisame: Well, you have whiskers Naruto: I DO?! Kisame: Itachi: yeah! Theyre totally growing! Youve got like, a full beard! Naruto: SWEET! Sakura: Settle down class. Deidara: Zetsu is what happened when a venus fly trap took two chess-pieces and compacted them until they melded into one. Yeah. Itachi: Its true! Deidara: Yeah! Yeah! Naruto: -gasp, covers ears- WHAT?! sniffles- really? Zakura: Yes, you have dumbo ears. Naruto: O.O,

Itachi: Wtf? Zakura: You have to wear that. Itachi: WHAT? WHY?! Zakura: Cause we teachers say. Sakura: -raises margarita glass in agreementItachi: -puts wig on backwards to hide his shameShikamaru: I ORDER YOU TO TELL EVERYONE WHAT IT IS THAT YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR!! And you can't pass it on, because it's an ORDER not a dare! Kabuto: How DARE you hurt Sakura?! I'LL FUCKING CASTRATE YOU! Orochimaru: I twisted my nail, and now I have a bruise UNDER my nail and it hurts. Do you know how to make it... not hurt? Ed: -grins evilly, jumps Ed and kisses him long and passionately- Yummie. -winks at himShikamaru: money. I have to work for money. Sakura: But thats not the thing you were talking about before Shikamaru: She didnt say it had to be. Sakura: Wow Naruto: Why are you so smart?! No fair! Kabuto: -sinks under his desk againOrochimaru: -writes note and passes note to JiraiyaJiraiya: -reads note- wtf? Zakura: JIRAIAYA!! Jiraiya: What? Zakura: Why dont you come up here and read that to the whole class? Jiraiya: Umits kind of Zakura: READ IT!! Jiraiya: guh-walks up to front of the class and starts mumbling-

Zakura: So everyone can hear it!! Jiraiya: -clears throat and blushes and reads blandly- Hey you sexy thing, lets see how many places I can get my tongue in at once. Ill bring Sasuke, you bring Naruto and well have a hella good time -shuffles back to his seatZakura: I dont think so. You and Oro, get up here. Orochimaru: -prances up to the front of classNaruto: -sitting in horrorZakura: You will both write I will not pass sexy notes in class A hundred times. Orochimaru: Kay! goes to the blackboardZakura: ON EACH OTHER. Orochimaru: -smiles- Are you serious? Zakura: Keep it decent, but it has to be on skin. Jiraiya: -confused and horrifiedSakura: Ummwhat kind of punishment is this? Zakura: The fun kind. You know you wish Iruka had taught this way. Kabuto: -sinksKimimaro: Kabuto, you cant sink any lower, dear. Kabuto: I can TRY. Orochimaru: If something on your body hurtsdo something sexy with it, thats how I fix things. writes on Jiraiyas foreheadEd: HRMPPGFFF!! spits profusely- EICK! GIRL-SPIT!! Orochimaru: EDS GAY!!! Ed: After Winry, who wouldnt be?! Dei/Oro/Ita: -singsonging-EDS GAY!! EDS GAY!! EDS GAY!!

Sakura: Guysguys Zakura: EDS GAY!! EDS GAY!! Sakura: Gah! Dont encourage them. Eds Self-esteem falls bloody and mottled to the floorSasori: can you do the skeleton dance from those classic cartoons? I was thinking, since you've got puppet joints... Deidara: what was the best art you ever created? Kyuubi: can you boost Naruto's chakra to OVER 90?

Sasori: no Deidara: Yes he can, yeah! One time we got him drunk on pine-sol furniture cleaner cause thats what make wooden men drinkanyway, he totally got smashed and did the dance, yeah! It was great yeah! Sasori: Ok, THAT was talking out of term and you didnt snap at him! Zakura: Im a teacher, Im allowed to play favoritism and be totally unfair. Sasori: grr. Zakura: And now I need a student to demonstrate the skeleton danceoh! Only Sasori can! Sasori: You bitch. Zakura: Dont talk to your teacher that way. Sasori: -goes up in front of Oro (who is laughing because the markers tickle) and does a speed version of the dance- happy? Deidara: YEAH!! Zakura: You can sit down now. Sasori: -stalks back to his seat and slouches. Deidara: Uhmmy orgasm the first time Sasori banged me. That was an amzing momentary explosion. Sasori: ARE WE DONE PLAYING HUMILIATE SASORI YET?!?! Deidara: Yeah. :3

Kyuubi: I CAN. But Id rather just sit around with my, what, 1,000+ chakra. smirksNaruto: Aww Orochimaur: NO CLOTHES/FOOD FOR YOU! D:< (gives the clothes and food to Hinata) i know you'll share it but i don't care! Zakura: can i hug you? p.s. (throws in peter pan) MiniDeath Orochimaru: Aww Hinata: Oh yay! Zakura: No changing until after school. Hinata: Ok. puts stuff in deskZakura: Euhmsure, youre cool. stabs with pencil in the middle of the hugBuwahahahahah. STABBED FAN!!! Itachi: No fair!! I wanna stab a fan!! Zakura: Only I can, and only with pencils. Peter: HEY EVERYBODY!! THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!!! Everyone: -throws pencils at Peter, stabbing him in eyes and neckHaku/Hina: Aww Sakura: Is hebleeding pixie dust? Haku: DUDE!! runs to roll in pixie dust.Zabuza: Oh god Haku: -starts floating- OMG!! ONE OF MY UNATTAINABLE GOALS IS ATTAINED!! Zabuza: damn it Naruto: what thoughts are you thinking?! Haku: Im supposed to think somnething special? Im just thinking about Zabuza as usual

Zabuza: :) A.H.S...-Gags and flails, running to the bathroom.- Leara: -Blinks.- Umm...That's one of the reasons we didn't reveiw last chappy. Morana's had morning sickness. -Shrugs.Anyhow...Sasori: You haven't seen Daimos near there yet? He said he was going to kill you. -Glomps and kisses Naruto!- I still think your cute!! Even if I'm way older than you! ^_^! All the Akatsuki that are there, Leader says since you guys are gone we have to wait till next year for the yaoi Orgy Festival. Sorry boys! Zakura: HAH! Thanks for teaching this group abstinence. Orochimaru: What do you mean? Were men, we cant get pregnant. lifts shirt for Jiraiya to write onZakura: Oh CANT you? Kiba: -instantly stops kissing Shino across the deskShino: Oh come on, nothings gonna happen Sakura: Stop pushing Kiba too far Shino. And stop kissing him. Shino: Hey, it was Kibas idea to go all the way in the first place. Itachi: HAHA!! YOURE PREGGED!!! Sasori: Daimos? Oh yeahwell, at least hes trying to kill something. Deidara: He takes after you a lot, yeah. Sasori: -proud smileNaruto: O.o Im soooo scared.make it go away. Zakura: Keep it up Leara. Naruto: Hate you. Ita/Dei/Oro/Kisa: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Sasori: Why do you care, Oro? Orochimaru: I was always snuck in by Dei Deidara: Yeah, yeah. :) Itachi: I thought there were too many peopleof course, in an orgy who cares?

Kabuto: Oh, Orochimaru-sama Ginger: FREE SEX. Okay, now that I have your attention..
Bell: Hey, guys. How are you all? You know what I hate? When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is! why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?! Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their asses! Ginger: Get some fucking chocolate right now, then you can talk. Bell: -sigh- Whatever. Just remember who's on bottom, bitch. Ginger: Right. Anyways.. I'm not sure what to ask.. so.. Naruto-kun. You're adorable, did you know that? -gives electrical whip-Use it wisely. It's indestructable.. Bell: Here's your damn chocolate! -throwsGinger: Thank you. :)!! Kyuubi-kun, didn't you say you felt like having chocolate? Well, here you go. -gives few hundred crates- I don't do illegal things for that.. Heheheh. Don't do drugs, kids. They're expensive, that's why D: And here's a taser to fend off Kurenai. ...And some firecrackers, complete with matches. (In all honesty I just like seeing shit get blow up :3!!) Bell: Zakura-sama, do you think it'd be alright if we took someone to Vegas with us? It can be anyone, we don't mind. If that's okay, anyone who wants to can tell me now. We'll be there for a few days. Oh, almost forgot.. here's some stuff you might like.. -gives magazines with pictures of girls on the cover..winksGinger: I feel like I'm going to be sick.. stupid hangovers.. stupid party.. can someone give me a hug? Please? I'll grant a wish.. -remembers- Oh, here's some alchohol. Share with Lucifel-chan! -rubs wolf ears tiredly.. proceeds to scratch Bell behind cat ears- Gomen for taking up your time. Bell: See you later... and why the hell do we have animal features? Ginger: I'm.. not so sure.. Kinda like it. Hehheh. -smacks Bell across the face with bushy tail- Hellyes. - Ginger and Bell

Itachi: Why isnt this edited? Lucifel: Because theyre cool. Dont get used to it gals. Zakura: YES! We have a lesbian couple! Sakura: Weve had lesbians before Zakura: Yeah, but these girls are a couple. Sakura: -sigh- A.H.S. and Leara? Zakura: Doesnt count, she came in much later. This is like HT and Amber but sexy. AND they have animal bits. Meow. Itachi: Instead of annoying as helloh no, still are. Deidara: Meanie, yeah. Haku: Wheeee!! zooms by trailing fairy dust over everyoneKyuubi: ACHOO!! Fucking hell, Im allergic to this shit. face gets blotchy- fuck. I need my medicinewhere is it? Itachi: Well, its always in the last place you look. sticks tongue out at Bell-

Naruto: -whacks Kyuubi with whip- XD Kyuubi: FUCKING SHIT!! Naruto: hehehe-puts in deskKyuubi: -glares at everyonebut cant figure out who did because most people are distracted by Haku- Kyuubi as soon as my head gets un-stuffed youll all diehey chocolate Kurenai: -dives across the desks and grabs it- CHOCOLATE!!! Kyuubi: godammit, woman, I have allergies!! Kurenai: I HAVE AN ADDICTION!! Kyuubi: GO TO FUCKING REHAB!! Kurenai: NEVAR!! Kiba: Im scared Shino/Hina: -nod in terrorZakura: Sadly no you Kyuubi: Ill go. stands and leavesZakura: I hate him Lucifel: If you meet the DeSimones, say hi!! Im related to them. ^_^ Naruto: You have relations in VEGAS?! Lucifel: Hell yes, I went to church with them! Sakura: InVegas? Lucifel: Yes. I infiltrate everywhere. Their church will soon fall. Muwahahaha. 1- Sakura, I have enclosed a picture that shows sasuke kissing naruto which proves that he is gay so... What do you think about that? 2- Orochimaru, If you could see any 1 person nude who would it be and why? Shove's a fridge in there... ~~Taki-San~~ Orochimaru: It was probably Tsunade again.

Jiraiya: That makes no sense at ALLIm done. Orochimaru: Me too. they go back to their seatsSakura: I erewww Naruto: Is that from the graduating day? That was really an accidentI promise really Sakura: EUGH!! EWW!! NOO!! Orochimaru: UmmTsunadeit would make me giggle. Jiraiya: -droolsZakura: -snaps ruler- NO DROOLING ON THE DESKS!! IN THE CORNER!! And write I will not get saliva on the desks one hundred timeson Naruto Naruto: O.o Jiraiya: Eugh Kiba: FRIDGE!!!!! lunges- damn, its empty. Neji: -shoves Kiba into the fridge and closes door- Not anymore!! Ahahahahaah!! Shino: Bastard. Gaara: Arent youahgonna get him out? Shino: -shrugs- eventually. Lee: Im boooored. Temari: Im in a skirt. I PLEATED skirt. Eww. Lee: Im in a TIE!! How unyouthful. poutsTemari: heydo you hear something? Lee: It sounds like the growling of a generic evil monster. Lee: How would that get here?

Temari: Its probably just a hybrid of a lot of reviews gone wrong. Rejected chakra and whatnot. Lee: Well! I shall vanquish it with my YOUTH!! Temari: Good luck. Monster: RWAR!!! HT: fine. orochimaru, deidara, and sakura get pudding. amber: ok, HT, make itachi some steak. HT: WHAT THE HELL!? oh well, lol one of EJs ears are bigger then the other. and sakura, i capture sasuke when i wanna capture sasuke. gaara, im sorry i gave you that potion. i thought i was on your list. autumn: wtf... where am I? amber: hey autumn. sasuke isnt here. and EJ is going to be killed and eaten. autumn: OMG! sasuke where? and by the way, dont kill my beast! amber: right... wanna ask anyone a question since your here? autumn: uh, sure! gaara, do you like gai? Oro/Dei: PUDDING!! Sakura: LUNCH BREAK!! -they are suddenly in a cafeteria-type areaKiba: -pounds on the inside of the fridge- I WANNA EAT!! Shino: -looks at weirdo cafeteria food- No you dont Lucifel: Dude! My ears are lopsided too! Zakura: no one cares! Lucifel: Aww. Gaara: My list? Itachi: You probably were Gaara: what was my list of? Kimimaro: Errnothing Gaara: -confused- Gai? Gai is awesome! He has faith in me!! Kimimaro: Nono he doesnt

Gaara: Yes he does, I remember it. I know my memories are true. Kimimaro: this is so fucked up
Shikamaru, I just saw the wierdest pairing ever, you and Hinata. What is your reaction to this? Naruto...You can do the Kage Bunshin No Jutsu and you can also henge into a girl. Have you ever thought about giving new meaning to the phrase "go f*$# yourself"

Shikamaru: My reaction? Is no. Never. Hinata: -blushItachi: Because youre gay. Shikamaru: And shes too girly. Shes really sweet and all, but not my type. Neji: So you prefer to be dominated. Shikamaru: -sigh- no Naruto: Ummno? Zakura: Narutooo. Naruto: -sigh- yesI lost my virginity to myself Everyone: LOLOLOLOLOLOL!! Neji: Im sure everyone has. I mean technically thats just masturbation Itachi: Dude! DUDE! If you fuck too hard do they do the poof thing? Hahahaha. Deidara: HAHAYEAH!! Naruto: -dies of humiliation...I'm sorry, now I have TWO chapters I'm too lazy to type... Anyways, I started school again, and I'm taking a crapload of highschool level courses. And I'm an Eith Grader. Itachi-sama: I truly admire you, but touch my muse and I whip your ass. Sakura-san: Good for you. You don't need another painful relationship. Don't give in. EVER. Please. Kiba-san: ...I found your mother and sister! They want to know How you are. Any messages? Orochimaru-sama: ...Um, (Sakura-san will kill me but...) what's wrong with bubblegum? I've been chatting with Eimii-senpai. She's awesome. Sincerely, Kryah (who will soon have an Italian PenPal!!)

Itachi: Right, and we give a shit about this stuff because? Sakura: Shut up. Kryahs cool.

Lucifel: Kyrahs the shit!! And dont worry about it, school is very much a busy thing, good for you with the courses! Itachi: Oh fuck off, girly. Ill touch whoever I like wherever I like. gropes Zabuza- see? Zabuza: O.o Haku: -gasps- Zabuza! Are you all right? Are you disturbed? Zabuza: Justdisturbed Haku: -cuddlesOrochimaru: -tries to eat fairy dustSakura: Thanks. Ill do my best. I really appreciate youre support. Kabuto: -covers faceKiba: UmI guessIm ok. Im hungry. Also, please dont kill me for not coming home Shino: Theyll kill you. Kiba: Not before I suffocate in here. Shino: hehe. Orochimaru: It wont work with my tongue, is too big. Also, gets stuck on my faces and peels off my outer skin with itno fun, that. Jiraiya: Fucking creepy Orochimaru: Not as creepy as you writing down Narutos spine. Jiraiya: Trying to keep it decent, here. Naruto: -blushing furiously.Itachi: Who the fuck is Eimii are we supposed to care? Lucifel: She is my fan-girl rival. She steals my Kryah-snifflesLee: GUWAH!! gets thrown to the ground- My youth does nothing.

Temari: I dont know whats wrong-uninterestedLee: ARRGGGGG!! gets smashed. Is now very near deadTemari: -thinks- OH! Of course! Im the school girl! Its up to ME to beat the giant monster! jumps up- Umm, power activate?! her school uniform gets all shiny and her hair is re-arranged in a long braid, and she holds a long power-wandGaaaaaay. smacks monster across the faceMonster: FUCKING SHIT!! That hurt bitch! Temari: Monsterermyouve been causing trouble andaww fuck the moral speech. stabsMonster: -scream and diesEyeball: -spits Lee out, (and Temari but shes back in Suna)Gaara: -stares in shock at Lee as people run to helpSakura: LEE!! ARE YOU OK?! Lee: Gurg Gaara: -runs forward and gathers him in his arms- LeeLee speak to me Sakura: -starts preparing healing chakraGaara: Lee-cries a littleKabuto: You need to back away Gaara, Lee needs to be healed Gaara: NonoLee-kissesLee: -smiles and kisses backGaara: -gasps and pulls back- youre awake!! Lee: -smiles broadly- the sky is pink and full of doggerpillars. Sakura: He still needs healing Gaara: -faintsSakura: GAH!

Kabuto: Ill handle this one, you get Lee. Sakura: uhok *Smooches Lucifiel, grinning* Sakura: Wow. You just got upgraded on the badass scale. Pretty soon, you'll be good enough to have a demon sealed inside you! Demon as in demon, not a totally badass alternate personality. *High faves Sakura* Everyone: Anyone mind if I sort of, you know, clean the frap pool and make it clean again? Or just make a different pool? Mabye full of sake? Orochimaru: Well, I figured sicne you like souls, I'd go get you some. *Hands him a huge tank, full of other peoples souls* And here. I stole these from Neji's room while I was looking for blackmail material for him. *Hands Oro an album of even newer sext photo's of Sasuke, and suprisingly Itachi. Sometimes together* Just do what you want with it. I sure as hell don't want it. P.S. *Tosses in Roy, also from FMA* I dare Roy to kiss Ed for..3 minutes. Full on the lips. Closed Mouth. Lucifel: Teehee. Zakura: I said stop!! Sakura: Um, yeah thanksbusy now Zakura: Haha, cold-shouldered! Orochimaru: YAY! We go swimming! Itachi: Make sure you take out the extras weve thrown in there, k ? Sasori: Ah, drowning extras-smilesZakura: Dammit, the eyeball exploded Orochimaru: Awww, it was so cool. HEY!! SOULS!! Zakura: Keep them in your desk until were done. Orochimaru: Kay. squashes desk with tank- oops. YAY!! PR0NS!! Neji: ACK!! NOES!!! U STOLE MA PR0NS!! Shino: -.Kiba: I need out so I can make fun of Nejis whore-ness! Roy: Three minutes? Hehe, no problem.

Ed: RoynostopNO! Roy tackles and smooches him-thrity minutes laterItachi: Are you dooone? I want to join. Orochimaru: Shush! I think theyre gonna take off pants next Kurenai: No!! not the sexy colonel! criesRoy: -sits back pantingEd: -cuddles against him embarrassedly, hiding from everyone elseDeidara: Aww, hes so shy about being gay, yeah. Sasori: you could do with a dose of shyness. Deidara: Nah. Oh, and Kyuubi now has his chakra sealed for the chapter and is the size or a puppy. (sicks 5-headed dragon on Kyuubi) You can only attack my dragon with light based attacks.(evil laughter and lightning in background) to everyone else. Does anyone want anything? I'll go get it for you if you let me huggle you or glomp you or stroke your hair. Kyuubi: Fucking hell. Im out. Im going to find you and kill youyou better be in Vegas somewhere People of Vegas: Theres a dog attack a dragon downtown! Best new attraction evar! Orochimaru: you can do all three if you get me a carrot. Jiraiya: -puts away marker- A carrot? Orochimaru: Yeah, Ive got a craving Zakura: Youre all weird as all hell. Kiba: You stroke my hair if you open the fridge Neji: -leans casually against fridge door1. I'm starting to get tired of this new Gaara. here...-hands over strange color-changing potion in another plastic vial- I whipped that up in the past week. it contains the exact opposites of the ingredients in the first potion. make sure Gaara drinks it! 2. -in small, childish voice- does anyone hate me? I hope not... 3. Yays! Naruto-kun! you've seen Cars?! it's my favorite movie EVER!! I've seen it a tenth time since my

last review! in fact...can I throw people/cars in, too? listen to his cackle! show 'em Wingo! Wingo: hey! I never agreed to this! -gets tossed in-The Muffinator 3 PS: ooh! "Life is a Highway" is playing on the radio! -sings along-

Gaara: -garbles in his sleep and can not swallowKabuto: Just let him sleephell be alrightmaybeit IS this place after all. Sakura: Lees ok again. Lee: WoahI dreamt of caterpillarsthat were DOGS! Sakura: Howyouthful Lee: I KNOW! ^_^ Itachi: I do. Didnt you give muffins? Kankuro: I love you! Deidara: Thats the first thing youve said all chaptereven when Gaara kissed Lee. Yeah. Kankuro: I was distracted Deidara: By? Yeah? Kankuro: the ceiling. Deidara: -confusedNaruto: YAY!! rides around in the car- LIFE IS A HIGHWAY!! I WANNA RIDE IT!!! Itachi: I wanna ride your mom! Naruto: O.o Sasori: -pushes car out the windowLucifel: Yay, that was fast. Ok, done with the chapter! At least its Mondaywhat a long fucking daygrug. K, bye everyone!

Ask Sakura 41 Lucifel: Hiya. Im writing this in rich text formatand its WEIRD. Zakura: You didnt sleep did you? Lucifel: You didnt let me sleep. Wiggles eyebrowsZakura: -gaping in horrorLucifel: Anyway, because it was Labor day weekend Im extending the school theme. Sakura: that makes no sense Lucifel: Yes it does. Im awesome. Its lunch time. Kiba: I KNOW!! BUT IM IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE!!

Shino: -leans move heavily against fridgeNaruto: Im hungryyyyyarent their supposed to be cafeterias or something? Zakura: Youre in a cafeteria right now. Naruto: But theres no food!! Zakura: And? Kimimaro: -wipes Gaaras forehead- How is he Kabuto? Kabuto: Stablejust let him rest Lee: -holds Gaaras handNEJI! NEJI NEJI NEJI! I worked out why the Hyuuga house is so bloody big not only so you have lots of different rooms to sleep with people in but also coz you have a fudgin' great space in the centre for training XD Kabuto? In an Akatsuki cloak? O.O I WANT PICTURES! Hinata and Shika is a cute pairing squee! she's like the only girl he can stand to be around What are you IM names?? Just out of curiosity... Neji: Really? I had no fucking clue. Wow, I will have to utilize that now that that revelation has been granted to be. Naruto: Damn Neji, youre pretty stupid, even I figured that out. Neji: wow, Naruto, youre sure smarter than me. Naruto: HAA!! He admitted it! Im brilliant! See, Sakura?! Sakura: yeeeah Orochimaru: In some of the pr0n he wears my old one.you can always buy some. Same rate as always. Hinata: Shikamaru? Shikamaru: I like Temari okbut yeah, Hinatas the easiest to be around. Zaku/Neji: -mumblings- I wish she was the easiest to get INTO

Hinata/Kiba/Kurenai: WHAT?!?! Zakura: Into placesso we could go out Neji: uhuhyeah Kurenai: Nope, you DIE. Neji: AGH!! runs awayZakura: -trips- No running in school, bitch. Neji: yeow-gets smashed by skilletZakura: Props, Kurenai. Kurenai: Thanks. swaggers back to table- And come on, were ninja would we really Naruto: Foxkit010101010 Kurenai: Oo Kyuubi: Aww, you like being all fox-possessed. Naruto: No, I was trying to imply being cunning and swift Kyuubi: and the 010101010 definitely implies your maturity. Naruto:) Neji: Mine is Kiba: your1andonly41nite!!! Neji: I hate you. HOW did you get the sn? Kiba: You posted it on one nite stands dot com Neji: Oo how do you know about that Kiba: teeheehee Shino: -pulls open fridge and jerks Kiba out of it- WHAT WERE YOU DOING ON THAT WEBSITE?! Kiba: I just wanted to find people and make of them I swear!!

Shino: Well your IM is puppyluv505 you bad-ass. Kiba: Heythats just for youthe one I use most is fangsofdeath. Hinata: I always talk to you of puppyluv505. Kiba: I didnt want to scare you. It was a dark and stormy morning. OH! Didnt see that plot twist coming, did you?! No I did not We need to embrace the contractionfukt. Good morning I like men in dresses which is why Jim wears one Zakura: Sorry, someone was dictating over Lucifels shoulderand rubbing his nose on it Kiba: KINKY NICE!! Sakura: A-anywaymy IM isis Naruto: -pissy mood- Its sasukesluver1897and she tried every number before that. With both spellings of love. Zakura: Were changing that. Kabuto: -sulksOrochimaru: Mine is SASUKESDOMINATRIX!!!! Sakura: wtf?! Itachi: YOURE the one that stole the sn I wanted? Sakura: Oo Kisame: Mine is sharkman Kiba: Predictable Kisame: --ridingitachi.

Itachi: O.O Kisame:) Deidara: tehe, yeah. Zakura: Does anyone else have unpredictable sns or can we move on? Kiba: Well Kurenais is skillettoyourhead. Kurenai: Yes. Yes it is. Jiraiya: ouch Zakura: and who didnt predict that? Naruto: -raises handNeji: -starts to raise hand but discreetly brushes hair insteadSakura: I thought you didnt have one? Kurenai: I thought we might want to preserve our image but nowhy would I think that? Zakura: anyone else? Orochimaru: Kabutos is Ihaveasecretthingforyounggirlswithpinkhair. Kabuto: Oo Sakura: O Kabuto: No itsnot Kimimaro: thats not the one I talked to you on. Orochimaru: I made it. :3 Kabuto: THEN HOW IS IT MINE?! Orochimaru: Cause I made it from your mind. Zakura: Were moving on NOW. Back to class. Everyone: Awww

Kiba: I thought shed want to know about Hinatas Zakura: WHAT IS IT?! Kiba: Oh nothingnothing Zakura: WHAT?! Hinata: you mean Kiba: No, no, you neednt tell her, lets go sit at our desks quietly like good students Zakura: NO! NO! Kiba: -sitsSakura: Next review! Zakura: NOOOO Picks Lucifel up, and walks off. Comes back 3 hours later Looking satisfied. Very satisfied Zakura: Remember, I can take away your sexy albums if you mock me... Kabuto: BASTARD! Hits. Really hard Lee: YOSH! LEE, YOUTHFUL FRIEND, I YOUTHFULLY ORDER YOU TO KISS SAKURA! P.S. Tosses in most of the FMA cast I dare all of you that have made out with Ed, to make out with Ed. Lucifel: yay. Zakura: Slut. Lucifel: No, Im waiting for marriage. Zakura: didnt you marry this one? Lucifel: yes. :3 Zakura: -sighs- And no, you cantIve got them and Im never letting go. Kyuubi: -jacks her albums-

Zakura: AGHKFPOLG?! Kyuubi: haha, bitch. Zakura: -glaresKabuto: OWW!! WHAT THE HELL?! Kimimaro: Dont pretend you didnt deserve that. Kabuto: Ive BEEN hit!! Kimimaro: Aww, poor thing. Kabuto: I thought you were the shy, gentle type. Not the annoying sarcastic bitchy type. Kimimaro: So you bring out my kinky side. wiggles eyebrowsKabuto: I almost wish you had kept your crush secret Kimimaro: -blushes and turns back to tending to Gaara.Lee: OhYES!! THE KISS OF YOUTH!! Sakura: Say what? Lee: -glomps/kissesSakura: Mfprg?! Lee: -leans back- Ah! Quite the kiss, yes? Sakura: WTFOMGBBQAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! Lee: Hmmif that seemed to give Sakura so much energy Kimimaro: Yes. What you are thinking will definitely work. secret smileLee: -jumps onto Gaara and kisses all dramaticallyGaara: -SLAPSLee: -goes reeling across the roomGaara: -sits up, bristling- WHO?!

Kimimaro: -points at Lee who is crumpled in a corner nowGaara: -GASP OF HORROR- LEE!! runs over- Lee! Lee: -shakes head- whu-what? Did it work? Gaara: did what work? Lee: Did I restore your youth and energy? Gaara: -blinks a few times- Yeahyou restored me alright. Lee: Oh good. kisses againGaara: -after lee breaks away and he spends long minutes in shock- I-I said it worked you Lee: That one was cuz I missed you. thumbs upGaara: -stunned-LeeI Lee: -big grinGaara: I love you. Lee: Yoshand I think youre the most awesome guy evarnot including Gai-sensei. Gaara: So youyou Lee: Wanna go get some youthful dinner after this? Gaara: -blushes- sure. Zakura: AHEM!! Being comatose and having dramatic moments is no excuse to skip class. TO YOUR SEATS. Lee/Gaa: -walk to their seats holding handsDeidara: -raises hand and waves aroundZakura: Yes, Deidara? Deidara: What just happened, yeah? Zakura: -sigh- When Lee got spat out of the eyeball he was mortally wounded, and by seeing someone he had previously felt so strongly about in such peril Gaaras memories

were jump-started. In desperate sadness he kissed him which because of the rules of clichs Lee woke up for and returned because having been separated from all of us he realized that Gaara was the one he missed most, and had always been there or something, anywayLee used the Sakura thing as an excuse to kiss Gaara, which Kimimaro encouraged because he could tell Gaara was starting to wake up, Gaara felt someone kissing him and the adrenaline of the shock jump-started him, made him slap Lee, and then run over and they got together. Whoop-de-fucking-do. Deidara: Yay, yeah. Zakura: Yeah, yeah, yay. Lucifel: EVERYONE CELEBRATE!! Ed: Oh COME ON. And I was doing such a good job of being ignored too! Al: I dont wanna Zakura: The review makes you. But so this goes quickly, just kiss him Al: -kissesItachi: W00t!! INCEST!! Ed: We were young! We were curious! SOMETHING LIKE 8 OF KIDS DO IT!! Hawkeye: That was a terrible quotewhat if Ive made out with Roy? Roy: But you havent Hawkeye: -raises eyebrow- I thought you werent drunk? Roy: -gasp- -goes to a corner to thinkHughes: Umm Hawkeye: No. I havent. Every now and then I just have to mess with his mind. It keeps him from getting corrupted. Hughes: seriously? Hawkeye: Thats MY justification. Envy: -tackle/tongue-rapes EdEd: MRGF!! NOO!!

Envy: YUMM!! Scar: -rolls eyes and kisses Ed roughlyEd: eep Al/Roy: WHEN?! Ed: It just kind ofhappened Everyone: -shocked and confusedHohenheim: Does it count if he was too young to remember? Itachi: Ohthats a level of fucked up I wouldnt even go to. Orochimaru: Yes you would. Itachi: Maaaaaybe. Ed: Oo Hohenheim: What? I didntI was just curious. Zakura: But of course, because it would be too young for him to remember hell never know Hohenheim: -whistles innocentlyEd: -his brain is brokeHawkeye: All rightwere leaving now -The FMA cast rolls outKiba: But do they transform? Scar: -pops back in to try and explode Kibas HEADRoy: Do you want me to stick with you, Ed, or can I go? Ed: II dont even care anymorejust go Roy: k. pulls Scar off- Ill se you back homeIll be waiting. Kurenai: Manand he was so sexy too.

(Sics a 7-tailed dragon on the 5-headed dragon that was attacking Kyuubi) No hurting my favorite demon! I'm sorry, did I say ninety? I meant NINE THOUSAND! (Lucifel, have you seen the Nine Thousand video on Youtube yet? I suggest you watch it if you like to see Dragonball Z get mocked). (Pulls out a guitar and smashes it on Orochimaru's soul tank, cracking it and allowing souls to slowly escape) if you're in the soul collecting biz, you gotta attack the competition. Good chapter! People of Vegas: WOOOT!! WOW!! How did they make the explosion of that building look so REAL?! Kyuubi: Haha, Im not in Vegas anymorefuckersand no. I dont wanna. Itachi: And really, who DOESNT like making fun of DBZ? Orochimaru: Teehee, constipated blonde men shooting a single energy beam for fifty episodesyay Deidara: but they arent even pretty blonde menyeah Sasori: Not every blonde man can be as man-pretty as you. Itachi: Its not even man-pretty anymore. Kisame: Itachi is man-pretty. Itachi: -shuddersKisame: Deidara is likedisturbing WTF pretty Sasori: Its funny how that described it better than I ever could. Souls: -start wandering around the room aimlesslyOrochimaru: Awwwww then they had hot kinky sex Itachi: Who? Orochimaru: How should I know? Someone else wrote that. Lucifel: -sigh- Im never writing in the school cafeteria again.

Hmm...(clicks fingers and it starts to rain carrots) well I'm going no where near the pedophile. (kicks Neji between the legs and sends him flying to the moon). Sorted. (strokes Kiba's hair) Can you guys take care of my pet Shiba Inu? She is about 6 foot from paw to shoulder though. Well she can't be hurt or killed so don't worry and she can talk. Her name's Snowshoes. Kiba: DUDE!! Its raining Carrots!! Orochimaru: YAY!! grabs a carrotNeji: FUCK!! OWW!! The moon sucks. Kiba: And youre back already? Neji: the moon is also bouncy Kiba: And you already slept with all the moon men? Neji: Fuck off. Kiba: You wish! Yay! Dog! Snowshoes: Food? Food now? Kiba: Nowe has no food Snowshoes: OhFood NOW?! Kiba: ARRR!! This is why dogs shouldnt talkhey, Im hungry. Shino: -sigh- yeah, they really shouldnt Ginger: If I see them I'll tell them hello for you Luci-chan :3 Bell: Is it true that a squirrel lives in Lee's pants? Ginger: I have one question for you, Kurenai: Can't you just FEEL the sexual tension? -throws flow petalsBell: For the genin of the room.. have you ever done anything with your teacher(s)? Ginger: You better hope that's just curiosity.. Snowshoes: Squirrel? Chase squirrel? Squirrel become food?

Zakura: ok class, were gonna learn a lesson. Kiba: Whats that? Zakura: Lee, come up here assist me. Lee: -prances up youthfully- How can I Zakura: PANTSED!!! pantses LeeEveryone: -gaspGaara: -blushLee: -confusedZakura: Ah see, today we learned Lee does NOT have a squirrel in his pants Lee: Can Ipull my pants back up? Deidara: DAMN BOY!! YOU IS HUNG LIKE AN OX!!! YEAH!! Gaara: -blushes like crazy and glares at ZakuraDeidara: Of coursethese are asian people standardsyeah Naruto: YOURE asian!! Deidara: I am not! Im blonde! Kiba: Not to mention a NinjaSO not asian, gosh. Snowshoes: No squirrelno foodaww Haku: WHEE!!! floats in the raftersKiba: We have rafters?! Kurenai: -waves away petals- Yes, and it SCARES me. Jiraiyas looking at my ass Jiraiya: Its right in front of me. Kurenai: -glaresZakura: Eyes forward.

Kurenai: -glares forwardZakura: Dont glare at me, bitch. Write I will not glare at the teacher a hundred times. Kurenai: On? Jira/Kiba: -cross fingersZakura: The blackboard, of course, you whorish old woman. Kurenai: -stalks up to the blackboardLee: Gai-sensei and I train together Gaara: Theyuhmean sexually Lee: -blush- WellI meanits such an honor and everyone wants to Everyone: NU-UH!! Kurenai: -bites lip- mmmm, yeah Zakura: Eww. Gaara: You have? Lee: II wanted to learn Gaara: Oh my god Lee: Can you still go out with me? Gaara: Uh, fuck yeah. Lee: -happyNaruto: NO!! KAKASHI IS NASTY!! Zakura: What about Jiraiya? Naruto: EWW! NO!! Jiraiya: -blushes embarrassedly- ahermuhyeah Orochimaru: Ewwwteehee.

Jiraiya: You dont think thats gross at all. Orochimaru: No, no I dont. Sakura: Eugh, no. Neji: Im not delusional like Lee.Gai is fucking weird. Orochimaru: But does he fuck weird? Neji: Oo Hinata: .Iuh. Sakura: You dont even have to answer. We know. Just like we know Kiba wants Kurenai Kiba: HEY!! Kabu/Saku: Yeah... well since you didn't Really finish the dare, and Kabuto cried afterward, I'm still gonna think that Kabu likes Sakura. However, I'm still appalled at your treatment of Sakura, Kabuto so I'm doing this! Sakura: You have to Make Out with either Itachi or Roy or Kyuubi. NO SWITCHING (cause that would totally defeat the purpose)! Kiba: -reeling on Kabuto- YOU CRIED?! Sakura: -stares at the embarrassed KabutoKabuto: Inooo Kimimaro: -gigglesSakura: UmmIm switching. With Kurenai. Kurenai: WHY?! Ive made out with both of them already! Sakura: Oh yeahJiraiya. Everyone: Crickets: -chirp, chirpJiraiya: WHY?!

Sakura: Im trying to enforce the randomness of this placewhat? Im not in the mood to make sense. glares at KabutoKabuto: -tries to disappearJiraiya: Iuhcmere Itachi. Itachi: NO! WHY?! Jiraiya: Because youre more my type, get this over with. Itachi: FINE! snogs JiraiyaEveryone: Ewwwwww. IM IN SUNNY SPAIN! w00t! Anywayz... gives dei-chan a dose of shyness lets see if this makes Sasori-teme happier... I dare you all to BELLY DANCE! Naru-chan did you know you and tachi are exact opposites and by some weird random knowledge ur perfect each other so i dare you to makeout with him for 10 minutes. June x Kyuubi: Right on. Be right there. disappears to go to SpainNaruto: NOT fair!! Zakura: So YOU stop him. Naruto: damn Deidara: I dont wanna Sasori: -INJECTS!!!Deidara: Kya! People are looking at me yeah! covers more of his faceSasori: Yesssss. Zakura: All right class. On your desks, belly-dancing. NOW.

Everyone: whu? Zakura: NOW!!! fiery eyesEveryone: -clambers on to desks and as Arabian music floats in they all begin belly dancingthis does no include Zabuza, he standing on the desk trying to catch Haku, but it basically looks like the same thing soZakura: Now show your bellies! rolls up shirtHina/Dei: KYAAA! NOOOOO! (yeah) Zakura: Oh dont be pussies! MOVE THOSE HIPS BITCHES!! sways hips with extreme seductivenessHinata: -bluuuushOrochimaru: If I was straightId like Tsunade. Zakura: K, were done. Hina/Dei: -scramble back to their seats to hide their bodies behind desksItachi: Oh come onnn. I already made out with a dorky bastard today. Naruto: I switch with Zabuza. Itachi: I switchwait, no I dont. tackles ZabuzaKisame: What the hell Zabuza! I thought we were bros! Youre making out with my man! Zabuza: -pushes Itachi away- IT ISNT MY FAULT!! Kisame: Yeah well-grabs Haku- Lets see how you like it. Haku: WAAA!! Zabuza: -lunges- GRAAAAA!! tries to killKisame: -puts Haku down and RUNS AWAY- Ok, I understand! It upsets you! LET ME LIVE!! hi everyone! Deichan you are so cute!!

um Shikamaru who is the person that you love the most? and if you had to live the rest of your life with someone who would it be? Orochimaru you are so creepy! if you're so obsessed with staying young why do you like Jiraiya? Deidara: Ohumthanks Shikamaru: I-thinks long and hard- My father. Everyone: wait, WHAT?! Shikamaru: yeah, it a totally platonic parent-child way. Zakura: Damn I hate you and your loopholes. Shikamaru: -smirks- Also, it would have to be Choji. Hes the one that understands me the best without being an ass or a parent. Kiba: Whos the ass? Shikamaru: no one. Kiba: Then whyd you mention it? Shikamaru: I hate dumb people. Orochimaru: Oh, because Jiraiya is my last anchor onto something sane and normal and beautiful. Youth is strength, but beauty is life. Jiraiya is a manifestation of life and what it does, and what it gives everyone else. My lust for power just overwhelms my awe of that. Jiraiya: uhwow Orochimaru: -smileItachi: Did you just answer a question SERIOUSLY?! Orochimaru: Well, I seriously love Jiraiya so Itachi: Wtf? Shikamaru: Oh damnit all!! I give up already! But, as a punishment, I shall take away that thing you write to Choji with for one chapter! If Zakura allows me to... Zakura: I dare you to dress someone in a kitty outfit.

Sakura: My german teacher(the lady who teaches me to speak german) can't teach me ANYTHING! She's a bad teacher and I learn nothing!! What can I do? -sobs and hugs Sakura's feet in despairBy the way, I just baked a cake. Who wants to lick the bowl? -throws the bowl into the roomShikamaru: haha. Its a rule that you cant Zakura: Fair enough. throws letter out of the roomShikamaru: Ihate youso much Zakura: -sticks tongue out- Youre going in the kitty outfit my friend. puts Shikamaru in a pink kitty outfitShikamaru: this is uncomfortable. I dont like itat all. Get it off. Itachi: Well, she never said you couldnt take it off Shikamaru: -rips it offHinata: Aww-makes sad eyesZakura: -fixes suit and forces it back on Shkamaru- And it STAYS ON. Kiba: -takes pictureShikamaru: -rubs eyes cause he is blinded by the flash- I hate you all. Hinata: Even me? Shikamaru: No one hates you Hinata. Hinata: -phewSakura: you can talk to the principle about it, and see if theres anything that can be done to arrange a new teacher for you, but if shes the only one for the school I dont really know what you can dobut if youre really suffering I guess you could always just force yourself through it? Maybe you could switch classes? I have no idea how your school system worksbut if you can, try to switch classes for sure. Itachi: or you could use sheep to destroy her soul. Orochimaru: And then they could take over the class!!

Itachi: W00T!! -bowl shatters on Jiraiyas headOrochimaru: -licks batter off of Jiraiyas face- yummy. 1. Sakura: Why are you so high strung? Is it a trait specific to you or just women in general? 3. Shikamaru : A while back in the story, you said that you almost wished you had something going with Ino because anythings better than what I have. What exactly do you have? P.S. Naruto, you said there was one other person you liked besides Sakura. (Or at least thought was cute) Now that were this far into the story, I have to conclude its either Haku or Hinata.So, which is it? Sakura: I am not high-strung godammit!!! foamsZakura: -pats- Its because she has the habit of liking men that stress her outaka, shes really stupid and makes bad choices that fuck with her mind. Sakura: I hates you. Shikamaru: I have a home, a family, a job, clothinga massive head ache Orochimaru: I have something massive. Zakura: Damn you ShikamaruIll tell them on my own if you dont. Shikamaru: Ill kill you. Zakura: How would you manage that, huh? Shikamaru: With my MIND. Zakura: -shudders- I hate smart people Naruto: Itsuhm Zabuza: -glaresZakura: -glaresNaruto: Well, theyre BOTH pretty cute

Zaku/Zabu: DIE!!! pounceHaku: Kya! Naruto!! glomps him by way of throwing himself in the path of fire- If you hurt him youll have to hurt me too!! Zabuza: What have I said about watching Disney movies Haku? Haku: But I LIKES them-puppy eyesZabuza: -frustrated sigh- fine. Well let him livebut watch your back kid Zakura Im not letting him live! Hinata: Naruto-kun!! worried faceZakura: -pang of guilt- -walks away grumbling (is stabbed) OMG THE PAIN!1 (falls to the ground and a pool of red goo forms around her then she sits up quickly and pulls a huge ketchup bottle out of her shirt) lol you thought you hurt me! XP Shino: if you we going to have kids what would you name them? Kisame: what are your feelings towards the pairings of narukisa and deidaraXkisame? Kabuto: (btch slaps) thats for what you did in chap 39 you jerk i just forgot to do it in the last review is all. MiniDeath P.S.(throws in Ranma from Ranma1/2) Zakura: You bitch. You totally stole that from Hot Fuzz Kiba: BEST MOVIE EVAR!!! Shino: -rolls eyesOrochimaru: teehee, she had a bottle in her shirt. XD Jiraiya: you freak Orochimaru: Im a super freak!! Deidara: Hes a freak! Super freak! Superfreaky!! YEAH!!

Sasori: NO. Deidara: Sorryyeah Shino: Im not having kids Naruto: But if you were gonna Shino: NO. I refuseI hate children Kiba: -heart brokenShino: Hey, Im letting you have your dogs. Kiba: -happyKisame: I think you people are fucked up in the mind!! Itachi the only one I need!! unless a threesome is involved Itachi: You frighten me Kisame: You know you like it that way. Itachi: -sweat drop- I really need to hurry and get my hair back Kabuto: OWW!! This is getting old fast Zakura: And yet you dont deserve it any less every time. Ranma: Um, hello? Zabuza: I SAW YOU EYEING MY HAKU YOU WHISKERED FREAK!! waterjutsus Naruto, misses, and hits Ranma.Ranma: -turns into a girl- aww man Orochimaru: DUDE!!! THATS AWESOME!! Deidara: Ooh! Ooh! I read this manga! He goes back if you use hot water!! Itachi/Zabuza: -jutsu the living fuck out of him with water/fire thereby hot waterRanma: -turns back into a man- -splutter cough- umm, Im not sure what the hell is going on but Orochimaru: AGAIN!! jutsu with water-

Ranma: -turns into a girl- hey now! This is ridiculous!! Ita/Zabu: -hot-water jutsu himRanma: Stop it! -they continueI have a gift for Roy and Ed! They get to go live happily ever after when they leave this room. (it seems kind of dumb now that I typr it out but I want to so neh) Can dares still be passed on? I hope not. Naruto kiss someone that you have a crush on that's in this room. BUT you can't have told anyone that you have a crush on them. by the way, It starts raining. good luck suckers. Ed: Yeah, good luck fixing my life Itachi: NO! No emo-ness! BAD ALCHEMIST! smacksEd; But my life sucks!! Itachi: I said, BAD! BAD LITTLE AUTOMAIL BOY!! Ed: WHO YOU CALLING LITTLE YOU PREMATURELY AGED FREAK!?! Itachi: -pounces-they tumble about in a brawlOrochimaru: -running away from Ranma- ME TOO! dives into brawlNaruto: I Zakura: Oh, and the time limit on that thing ran outso sorry! No more switching! Sakura: Zakura!! Zakura: Worth it. The boy will get his ass whooped now. Naruto: Butbut Zabuza: -kicks ranma into the poolNaruto: okhes distracted-runs and kisses Haku quickly and returns to his seat-

Haku: teeheehee. Zabuza: -storms over and kicks Naruto in the face- YOU THINK I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO TELL, PUNK?! starts strangling NarutoZakura: -rings bell- thats he end of second period. Ten minute break before PE!! Lee: Ummthe strange gender-bending man isnt coming up for air Kiba: -looks and sees Ranma caught in some sort of whirlpool- AHA! Thinks- the rain and strange pool behavior must be connectedit must be a clow card! I will save the day and get one step closer to my goal! But I must return to class on time!! Lucifel: Kiba is the heroine of a magic-girl story!! Kya! Yesyes this was the whole point of extending the school theme Kiba: -runs into the closet and comes out in a strange costumes with a lot of dangly tassels and frills and colorsbasically it makes your eyes bleedShino: WTF?! Kiba: -runs and dives into the pool- -smacks whirlpool with his staff and it dissipatesRanma: -floats to the surfaceKiba: -kicks the drain out and the water gets sucked downexcept on thick stream with takes the shape of an angry lady and hisses at Kiba- RETURN TO THE FORM YOU WERE MEANT TO HAVE!! CLOW CARD!! smacks with staffWatery: -turns into a cardon the picture of which she is giving the fingerKiba: Awwoh well, sealing time! I saved the day and I still have a minute before class! runs and gets changedNaruto: -pokes RanmaRanma: -twitches and lies stillZakura: Wellhes dead-shoves down drain- BACK TO CLASS!! Kiba: -runs in at the last moment pulling a shoe on and his hair messy- Sorry teacherslide into seatShino: I want you to know I will NOT be your quirky sidekick Kiba: Of course not. Youre the angsty love interest. smile-

Shino: Itachi: And its frustrating cause you cant argue with him. Shino: Fuck off. Itachi: So, would Akamaru be your quirky animal sidekick? Oh nohes not here Kiba: -dramatically depressedZakura: Pay attention you bastardsand its still raining. Kiba: ftw? confusedHA! I'm no where near Vegas! I'm not even in the USA! Tell ya what. Whoever guesses where I live will get anything of their choice. Naruto: Oooh! Oooh! ITALY!! Sakura: England? Kiba: Spain? Shikamaru: The earthwhat now? Zakura: youre really annoying. Shikamaru: So is this kitty outfit -glare-off!!-Shikamaru gets bored and stares at the thunder-heads forming under the ceilingKiba: OH! I knows! FLY CARD!! Fly: -is summoned- the fuck do you want? Kiba: Iyouwhat? Fly: -sighs and asks slightly more nicely- what do you want? Kiba: tofor you to use your wings to dispel the clouds up there Fly: -rolls eyes- do I look like fucking windy? Oh well-flaps wings super hard until the disperse and a freaky-looking chibi girl is floating in their place-

Kiba: YES! RETURN TO THE FORM YOU WERE MEANT TO HAVE!! CLOW CARD!! Freaky chibi Girl: -is sealed into the Storm cardKiba: YOSH!! Fly: Can I go now? Kiba: Errsure? Fly: -turns back into a cardShino: Soright in front of everyone huh? You fail as a super-heroine. Kiba: Oh noes. sadnessHT: anyway, SASUKE BIT ME! amber: because she locked him in a room with ponies. HT: I THOUGHT HE WOULD LOVE THE PONIES! i just hope Sasuke had all his shots... amber: i would laugh if he didnt. HT: anyway, im going on a horseback trailride and i was hoping someone SANE would like to join me. its the entire weekend in Montana. there will be chocolate and smores!! amber: and bears. and wolves. and giraffes. and a spa, somewhere on the trail... HT: oh, i dare lee to lick someone... Itachi: Go ototo!! You get kinky with those girls!! Sakura: NO! that is not what hes doing!! Naruto: Ninja dont get shots. puffsKiba: HAHA!! Youve been RABIED!! Itachi: Sasuke has rabies? Kinky hawt. Kyuubi: -walking back in covered in Spanish regalia- Sweet, Montana. Leaves againAnd just a note, I CAN go back to whenever you actually went so fuck off. Smirks-

Lee: Umm-licks Gaara and blushesGaara: -is incapacitated by sexual arousal1. Delivery! look out below!! -giant box lands in the center of the room- it's actually empty, but you can do lots of fun things with a box! um...ignore the lettering that reads "FRAGILE: WORLD'S LARGEST MUFFIN". I had to get a box somewhere. and a giant muffin for the Muffin Festivals in Tastyland... -The Muffinator 3 Lucifel: LOLS!!! Im being called by the special Olympics right now!! Zakura: ANYway Kiba: -climbs to the top of the box- DUDE!! jumps inNaruto: What? What is it? FOOD?! Snowshoes: Food?! Food now?! Kiba: -burps massively and emerges fatter than Choji- Nopejust an empty box ahhh Kankuro: I thought I smelledbut I guess not-suspiciousOrochimaru: Dude, you keep not saying anything until the end of chapterswhat the hell? Kankuro: I dunno. Zakura: Youre easily forgotten. Sorry whore. Bye. Lucifel: K, only a day late. GAARA AND LEE ARE TOGETHER ARENT YOU FUGGING HAPPY?!?!?! explodes in joySakura: She exploded, are we free? Lucifel: Nah, Im like a voltorb, I can self-destruct and stay intact! Zakura: And shes round as all hell. Lucifel: And ImWHAT?! Lee and Gaara: -KISS!!!!!-

Ask Sakura 42 Lucifel: -moping- 185518fucking55 Zakura: and what the hell is wrong with you? Lucifel: ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FIVE!!! Zakura: Yes we know. And? Lucifel: DAMN!! Its 1856 now!!! Zakura: No, babe, its 2007. Lucifel: NO! This guyhe has 1856 reviews!! WTF?!

Everyone: DUDE!!! Lucifel: I feel so insignificant-sobsZakura: Yay, shes crying. Kyuubi: Haha, bitch. And you thought you were so popular Lucifel: AND ITS A FEM-KYUUBI STORY!!! wailsKyuubi: -freezes, twitches- what? Lucifel: Its a story with femkyuubi in itmakes me cryits so popular!! WHY!?! Kyuubi: -still frozenZakura: Obviously hes a better writer than you. Youve only got a lot of reviews because its a fan-interactive story. Lucifel: -sniffle- Ive got 43 for Summer Wind Zakura: Pfft, which is1813 less then this kid. Oh, and his storys only been up since January. As long as this one. Lucifel: -weeps- I dont wanna write anymoreI wanna find a hole and DIE. I refuse to read his story because it had femKyuubi but I want to know WHY its got so many reviews!!!!!!! Kyuubi: Whois he? Lucifel: -sniff- Thu-hic- Thundereaper. Zakura: -mumbles- there should be two rs theremoron. Lucifel: thanks. Zakura: Er, I mean, someone of that writing prowess obviously can do whatever he wants, Lucifel: -shrieks in despairKyuubi: bitch is going DOWN!!!! Becomes engulfed in angry chakra- Ill be back later-speeds off with deadly intent-

Sakura: -sigh- if we dont get this thing rolling soon well never get out. Lucifel, you better thank me for this. Lucifel: -give the fingerSakura: -sighs- Anyway, lets try to break 1,000 reviews for this story ok? Get everyone you know to review, at least once, and lets see if by December 31 we cant get 1,000 reviews!! Lucifel: HA! YES! Who cares if its only because its fan-interactive!! Im funny dammit! Naruto: Yeah but looks arent everything Lucifel: -my weakly surviving spirit is CRUSHEDI sit and wailSakura: Well be taking questions now
*Growls allseductively at Lucifel* Zakura: You insulted Lucifel. For this, you must be punished. I order you to not flirt/kiss/have sex with/strip Hinata for 3 chapters. Owned. Everyone: Yeah..*Snaps fingers, cleaning up the Frap pool, and making it -totally- immune to being dirty again, getting all the extras, resurrecting them ,and sending them on their merry way, then, add a -second- pool, full of sake, which he makes Tsunade the lifeguard for. Just to be fun* There you go. All clean and nice. Kyuubi: Would you mind judging my evil scary cackle next chapter? I promise rewards. P.S. I dare Ed to -totally- make out with Orochimaru and Itachi.

Lucifel: -teehee- seduction makes me feel better.even when Im totally stuffed up and nauseas Zakura: NO ONE CARES!! Sakura: Oh no, Lucifels sick? worried for everyone elses healthKiba: I dont wanna talk backwards again!! Lucifel: no, no, this time I needs be saved from my illness! Youre all superheroes!! Kiba:...what? Lucifel: Everyone else, make up your powers and persona!! You get to wear the outfits you imagine! Sakura: Oh my god Naruto: I amRAMEN BOY!!! By day, a mild-mannered ramen connoisseur! By nightI use my powers of the noodle to fight of those who would ruin the sanctity of a good cup of ramen!!

-Naruto becomes dressed in a spandex orange jumpsuit, which is covered in thick ramenlikes strings. He wears a full ramen bowl as a helmetSakura: Youre way too into this Naruto: Ive always wanted to be a super hero. Starry eyedOrochimaru: I amTHE VIPER!! Sneaky anti-hero-protagonist able to talk to snakes and stretch my body into lengthy, snake-like positions! Itachi: Thats what you are now. Orochimaru: Yeah, maybebut now I get an awesome spandex costume! -Orochimaru is indeed wearing a snake-skin patterned green spandex leotard with thigh-high boot of black snakeskinDeidara: yay, spandex. Zakura: HEY WAITAMINUTE!! Wtf kind of dare is that? I dont do any of that stuff with Hinata anyway Hinata: -blushes furiouslySakura: Well, sometimes you flirt Zakura: fine. Ill just ignore her. Trembles from the effortOrochimaru: SAKE POOL!! Tsunade: -walks out of sake-pool room- Oh, hey. Im off-duty and going home. Im not coming back. Save yourself. Jiraiya: eep -tries to hideTsunade: wait a minute -pauses and turns back towards Orochimaru- Why are you in spandex? Orochimaru: Im a super-hero yeah. Tsunade: RightIm off. tries to leave- -fail- WTF? Lucifel: Youve been due for a while. Im keeping you. Tsunade: Oh youve got to be fucking kidding me.

Sakura: Can you hear her, Tsunade-sensei?! Tsunade: Who? Sakura: Never mind Tsunade: Now seriously, what the hell is going on here? Kiba: Were all trapped here and being forced to answer questions, perform dares and receive gifts. Tsunade: riiightwell, I can live with the gifts part but questions and dares are out of the question. Naruto: Good luck Baa-chan, only Kyuubi gets away with that. Gaara: I used towhat happened Kimimaro: You were weakened by a need to seduce Lee. Lee: Yosh! For I am too sexy to resist! Smiles and huggles GaaraGaara: -blush, smileTsunade: Kyuubi? Naruto: Yeah, he got out. Tsunade: This is one fucked up dream. All right Ill play along. shrugsKurenai: Oh thank god for another sober-minded, responsible woman Tsunade: Now I believe there was a sake-pool nearby that needs my attention! Lets get DRUNK!! Everyone: WOOT!! Kyuubi: -while flipping through endless user accounts- yeah, sure. It wont be as good as mine though. Ed: WHAT?! WHY?!?! Orochimaru: -tackles and tongue-rapes EdEd: WHY ME?!

Itachi: Youre just one lucky bastard I guess. Grabs Ed and make sweet, sweet, mouthlove to him.Ed: GET THE FUCK OFF!! Kicks away and runs to the closet within which he locks himself*Gives Metal Sasuke to Zakura* Here ya go. Your very own Android weapon. Look at my ask fic for ideas on how he acts. And... *throws Mikoto (Sasuke and Itachi's Mother) in the room*

Zakura: Does anyone else have a superhero yet? Deidara: I am The Androgynous Artist. I confuse the bad guys with my gender issues and take them out with my artistic explosions!! Sasori: -grumbles- not fucking art Kiba: Again! Theres no difference! Deidara: -now wearing a fishnet shirt and a frilly skirt, along with blue goggles for kicksLets see you do better, yeah. Kiba: Ok. Im The Ranger. A man devoted to nature and protecting it, who uses his knowledge of plants and animals to commune with them and manipulate them to help kill off the bad guys!! Gets dressed in baggy camouflage cloths and helmet, with a cape covered in leaves and shitNaruto: Nice! Kiba: And I have my trusty sidekick, the Bug-Zapper. Who uses his insect friends and intellect as a means to infiltrate enemy headquarters and other such things! Shino: are you talking about me? Kiba: Of course. Shino: No way. Im no sidekick. Zakura: To bad. Youve been called. Youre the side kick. Shino: -is now wearing black clothes with a shell on his back and big bug-eye glasses- I. Am. Going. To. KILL. You. Kiba: -is too busy gloating about his super-cool super hero to careLucifel: WRONG!! Kiba, youre a school girl remember?! Kiba: -is put in a sailor-moon style outfit- NO!!

Sakura: Then that would make Shino the mysterious love interest Shino: -is now in tux, black cape a mask- This is more like it Zakura: Its a Sasuke Robotright on. Presses the on button to the metal, wire, chakra contraptionMetal Sasuke: Sup beyotches?! Metal Sasuke in the HIZZOUSE!! Zakura: hmm. He seems to have a minor malfunctionright on!! Metal Sasuke: Word, beyotch, what joo thinking bringin me to this joint? Sakura: Shouldnt he be acting like Sasuke? Zakura: this is even better. LaughsSakura: Shouldnt we try to fix his programming error? Zakura: Nah. Sup Mikoto? Itachi: -screeches to a halt on the way to the Sake room- what? turns slowly to face Mikoto- Mom? Mikoto: -gasps- Itachi? walks towards him- Oh, ItachiI dont know what miracle has let this happen but I want you to knowI forgive you. Ill give you another chance. Youre my son. hugs- And I love you. Lets make things better again-tears fallItachi: -back-stabs Mikoto- Haha, bitch, you were saying? Mikoto: -falls down deadagainEveryone: -HORRORItachi: what? You thought I couldnt kill my own mother twice? Its actually easier the second time around. Orochimaru: Damneven Im a little sickened. Hina/Haku: -innocencescreams a death cryDeidara: Oh my Itachi. Dont you think that was a littleharsh, yeah? Itachi: -shrugsKisame: -hearts in eyes- thats my Itachi!!

Tsunade: Why isnt everyone in here getting drunk with me?! Everyone: -runs inOk I dare Itachi, Deidara, and Orochimaru to give Naruto a make over so he looks sexy and he can actually get someone. *supplies itachi with ItaSasu tapes* here ya go ^.^ Oh and Sakura... ur actually getting a whole lot better but I think you should take a leaf outta Zakuras book, you and Ino wud make a gd couple. Got any replies to that? June x

Lee: Oh! I know what I would be if I was a superhero!! Zakura: Go for it Lee: I am THE YOUTHFUL EYEBROW!! Gaara: -snickerLee: I use my power of youth to bring hope and energy to those who need it! My sidekick is SANDMAN!! Who uses his powers of warmth and sunlight to bring youthful cheer to the world!! Gaara: that makes no sense. I love you, Lee, but no. Zakura: -having a field day- TOO LATE!! -Lee is now in his same outfit except for the huge, flowing cape, Gaara is in shiny gold and red spandexand not looking happyGaara: Do you want this relationship to not work? Lee: Noof course I want it to work! Thats why I made us a team!! Kimimaro: -snickerOrochimaru: Well, I have my two worm-men sidekicks! Kabuto and Kimimaro! Kimi/kabu: Wait, WHAT?! They become dressed in ridiculous white tube-like outfitsKabuto: not happy Gaara: I feel better. Kimimaro: -scowls-

Ita/Oro/Dei: OOOH!! MAKE-OVER!! Pull Naruto roughly away to a cornerNaruto: AGGGG!!! Itachi: Ooh, wait Orochimaru: yay! Deidara: Fine, Ill do the makeover by myself Naruto: Oh noes Sakura: No. Zakura: Fuck no. Ino is neither of our types. Fucking Pig-Girl Sakura: -shudders- Gonna be sick Jiraiya: -nosebleedsMetal Sasuke: Dood, we got some dyke beyotches in this here joint? Zakura: Damn straight. Metal Sasuke: Sweet-ass! What would joo ladies say to throwing a little dawg in the mix? Zakura: -bitch-slaps-Loud Feedback fills the roomMetal Sasuke: -after feedback fades- I say, that was quite the hit from a flesh-person. Good show. Good show indeed. Zakura: So now hes British? Sakura: this is great.
I'm happy for Lee and Gaara. Trust me, I'm grinning. Also, the Deidara shyness injection didn't last long against his natural whoring blood, I see... O Great Guru Shikamaru: Given the chance, should I learn everything? Kyuubi, Zabuza, Zakura, Kurenai, Gaara, Kimimaro, Itachi: You're the most badass people in the room. What... are your greatest fears?

Gaara: Is that sarcasm? pulls out listZakura: Havent seen that in a whileheh. Lee: No! Lists are not youthful!

Gaara: Bugger off. Deidara: No way, yeah. smirks and goes back to Naruto who is hidden in a cloud of makeupShikamaru: No. For if you know everything nothing will be interesting. You will know the sad and awful truths you never had to learn, and the hopeful happy will not balance it out. And the main point of life, as troublesome as it is, is to learn gradually and only what you need to make your life pleasant. Learning everything would be all the more troublesome, I think Itachi: Ugh, serious answers. rolls eyes and goes back to pervy bookKyuubi: -coming back in- I got bored. And Im afraid of nothing. Although fluffy pink things disturb me. Zabuza: Im only afraid of losing Haku. Haku: But youll never. hugsZabuza: -smilesZakura: Im afraid of going back inside this ditz. Thumbs at SakuraSakura: Hey! Bitch Zakura: Aww, shes cursing so fluently now Kurenai: Im abadass? Tsunade: Yeah ya are! Slaps assEveryone: Oo Kurenai: -sigh- and I had so much hope when she showed up Gaara: nothing really. Unless I wanna go the sappy route and say Im afraid of losing Lee, which is true, but its not the kind of fear I think you mean. Kimimaro: Ducks. Itachi: Yeah and I---wait, ducks? Kimimaro: Have you ever dealt with a duck? Theyre fucking terrifying!

Kabuto: -face-palmItachi: Fish. Kisame: O.O Itachi. Itachi: Im kidding. My Dad was the only person that scared mealthough I never told him that. Part of why I killed him off. Metal Sasuke: Sir, your words offend me. Please kindly go make love to yourself. Zakura: Damnthats worse than you were Sakura.
Yay, Gaara and Lee are together!! Kankurou, you are hotter with make up on! I saw you in a shippuden ep. anyway, kiss whoever you think is smexiest in the room. Shikamaru you are so smart. Kyaa! Steals a peck from Shika, "suki da!" Naruto, Haku is so predictable! Isn't there anyone else you have a crush on?

Gaara: Yeah, thanks Lee: -rushes around the room being youthfulGaara: -thinks- so damn cute Kankuro: -tackles GaaraGaara: MFG?!! Kankuro: -kissesLee: GAH! Kissing my boyfriend is not youthful!! -fights Kankuro offKankuro: Agh! runs awayLee: Get back here and fight me for his honor!! Gaara: -hugs Lee from behind- Its ok. Ill defend my own honor if I have to Lee: -turns around and kisses Gaara deeplyShikamaru: Ummk-boredNaruto: Yeah. Butha! You didnt ask who!! Shikamaru: -thumbs up- Good job, Naruto Zakura: Anyone else wanna be a hero? No? K, youre all villains.

Jiraiya: WHAT?! Tsunade: YOU!! Jiraiya: AAAACK!! Tsunade: -chases-CHASE SCENEAs much as I wuffle you Maru-dono you cannot have my soul... I shall have to make my own Kabutoakatsuki-style Plushie ^_^ o and I will make plushies for hugs XD DO NOT HIT KABUTO! I am going to find where you live... *gives rope to Zabuza* this is for your Haku Question! - Does anyone else get confused by Zabuza and Zakura? zabuzazakurazabuzazakurazabuzazakurazabuzazakurazabuzazakura SEE! oo also Shino if you had to have kids who'd be the mother? And while I'm here *magics closet into room* Zakur this ish lots of outfits for you to play dress up with Shikamaru with He-Yan

Orochimaru: AwwokI wanna be a villain! Kankuro: Trade ya! Orochimaru: K! Kankuro: Right on! Im a hero now! I can manipulate thing with my puppet strings!! Gaara: We know Kabuto: Ughplushiesbut thanks for defending m Zakura: -dropkicks Kabuto- WHAT NOW BITCH?! Sakura: I think we all have more than enough Zabuza: thanks. ties onto Haku harness-styleHaku: teehee, Im tied up like a puppy. Naruto: -blushesSakura: Is easier not to mess them up when you can see themaside from the demonic facial expression theyre not that similar Kiba: I confuse them all theohthis is one of those stupid moments isnt it? Shino: Yes dear. leans him back dramatically with the cape swirling about-

Sakura: -sighs- so many happy relationships -glares at KabutoKabuto: -tries to hide but falls on his back and because of his gay little outfit he cant get up.Shino: Hinata. Shed definitely make the best mother. And shes the only woman I can stand easily Kiba: I agree! She can be our surrogate mother! Shino: K, but you dont get to be the father. Youd just want the sex. Kiba: Dammit Zakura: So yeah, everyone left is a minion of Orochimaru who is playing main villain! Theyve broken into a bank! Ed: WHY AM I IN THIS OUTFIT!! Tsu/Jira: I will fucking not! Zakura: Fine, you guys can be a bad-guy trio. Orochimaru: But were all snakes! Zakura: Deal. Tsu/Jira: fuck Tsuande: GRAR!! attacks Jiraiya againSakura: Why is she so mad at him? Naruto: -shrugs- I didnt know Tsunade needed a reason for violence Sakura: thats true. Zakura: Fun. pulls out random outfit- Yes! Reporter outfit! Shikamaru, youre the citizen who is pulled in randomly to be the possible romantic interest and the heroes one te to normal world! Shikamaru: -is forced into outfit- I hate you
Shikamaru: At first I wanted to leave you alone and have you NOT hate me, but... I dare you to wear that kitty outfit for two chapters! Zakura: I shall give you margaritas! Because you're great ^^ Kabuto: I'll forgive you for what you did to Sakura, IF you tell Orochimaru you hate him, leave him and

confess your love to Sakura and kiss her. If you don't... I will drop a car on you. And if you hurt her again, you will die a painful death! Deidara: Can I hug you? -hugs anyways-

Shikamaru: Ahhk! No! Zakura: Umm, yeah. Youre a kitty up a tree. Half you go take care of the robbery, someone stay here and help Shikamaru. Shikamaru: Come near and never mind troublesome I will CLAW OUT YOUR EYES. Lee: I will save the kitty!! rushes to save ShikaShikamaru: Your EYES. Kiba: -runs and starts beating up Kabuto with his magic stickteeheeand then he starts to fail and Shino jumps in and saves him dramaticallyKabuto: UghI so prefer my usual job Lee: AAAAH!!! MY EYES!! Gaara: -uses sand to pull Shikamaru out of the treeShikamaru: -tries to claw Gaaras eye but is too far awayZakura: Damn straight. sips MargaritaKabuto: Eh, Im a super-villian flunkyI can survive a dropped car. Kimimaro: Truebut itll hurt. Kabuto: Not as much as my pride if I did what shes asking Deidara: yeah! smiles and receives hugHT: SASUKE HAS RABIES!?!?!? FUCK! amber: thats disturbing... dont bite me. HT: -bites amberamber: AAH!! WTF!?!?!? sesshomaru: what the hell am i doing here!? HT: i captured you remember sesshy-chan? sesshomaru:... uh huh... HT: oh yeah! do you guys want akito? i think it died in my closet... along with some zombie puppies...

Itachi: haha! Yes! The fans are all gonna get RABIED!! Kyuubi: Haha, dog-demonsI laugh at their puny-ness. Zakura: OkSassy and Dei. You guys go cure rabies, you havent done anything worthwhile as heroes lately.

Sasori: Finewe set a cannon to shoot antidote Deidara: And then we shot it into the atmosphere and it rains antidote!! Zakura: Fair enough. Deidara: YEAH!! high-fives SasoriLucifel: You all have to save me from the mucus monsters!! Everyone: what? Lucifel: Yeah! This is the big dramatic episode where hero and villain alike work together to vanquish a great foe! Ill send them to you Everyone: NO!! -The room is suddenly full of evil mucus monstersLee: YOUTH!! Gaara: -summons sunlight (cause he can, Lee designated it so) to dry out a few and Lee crunches them into dustKiba: MAGIC WAND!! magic wand turn them into butterfliesShino: -does some mysteriously sexy stuffOrochimaru: WORM MINIONS!! ATTACK!! Kabuto: ATTACK?! I can hardly move in this outfit!! Ed: I will not serve you! The military is bad enough! Orochimaru: Shush, battle costume!! Minions: -Are all now dressed in tight white spandex outfits with fun armorKabuto: Thisll do -THEY ATTACK AND ITS AWESOME! THERE ARE LAZER BEAMS AND GUN AND SUPERPOWERS AN D FINALLY ALL THE MUCUS IS GONE!!Everyone:

Ed: I hate my life. goes and is emoKabuto: No shit kid. Kimimaro: I kind of like this outfit Gaara: I kind of still hate mine Zakura: Yeah, well take Akito I guesshes pretty cool Lee: and not very youthfulI should fix him!!
A.H.S: Squue! Finally! Lee and Gaara ish together! -Frowns and bitchsmacks Kabuto- Stop being a jerk and admit your feelings to Saku-chan!! And Chimey had her baby!! A.H.S: -Blinks- Saku-chan! Do you have any other secretive siblings we should know about? Daimos: -Smirks lightly, winking at Dei-chan.I'm coming for you!

Gaara: Manso many people-shies away from attentionKabuto: Why are we back in the gay outfits?! Orochimaru: Cause youre not fighting, duh! Things have gone back to normal and were villains again! Kabuto: And no. My only feeling on that mater is that shes annoying Sakura: You have no right, jackass. Kabuto: -blushes and hidesSakura: NoI dont. Shikamaru: One is bad enough-shuddersDeidara: Hi Daimos. Yeah. wavesSasori: -gives fingerSakura: Congrats on the baby anyway
your guesses are no where near. (clicks fingers)Now Kyuubi going to be a cute little labrador puppy for the whole chapter AND he can't retaliate or he doesn't get another fling with ninetails. Hey Deidara, if Sasori lies does anything grow (suggestive smirk)

Shikamaru: How is my guess nowhere near? Fan-girl worlds dont count. Zakura: They do if the fans want them to. Shikamaru: -rolls eyes-

Kyuubi: Huh, well, no Im not a fucking puppy. I was already. Fuck off. And if I want to shag Ninetails again I WILLIn just dont want to. Deidara: Naw, if he did it wouldnt fithes huge. smiles- Yeah Sasori: -blushdeidara is my favorite guy in naruto he is so cute! lol. What kind of girls do you like? i really want to go out with you! lol.

Deidara: haha, flattered, but I dont like girls at all. Boobs are gross, yeah. And I like the man-parts too much. Plus, I like to be on the bottom, and girls on top just make me giggle, yeah. Sakura: is that it for this question? Everyone: Ummyeah Sakura: Okmoving on
1. Wingo: Aah!-crashes through roofTM3: what the? Wingo: ow...I'm leaving now... TM3:no! stay! I get lonely! and no bad words! it's against muffin policy. Wingo: muffin policy? what the f-TM3: I SAID NO BAD WORDS! Wingo: O.O 2. TM3: um...now you made me forget my question! argh...oh! it was a gift! GIANT WHEEL OF SWISS CHEESE! here! Muffinator 3

Kiba: Awwmuffin gets lonely Shino: But you never will. hugs him with capeZakura: Hey muffin! FUCKSHITTINGWHOREASSBITCHCUNTBASTARDFUCKADOODLEDOO!! Sakura: -face-palmNaruto: DOOD! CHEESE! Kiba: YAAAAAY!!! Kankuro: Cheese? runs over- CHEESE!!! Naruto: We should have a cheese hero! Kan/Kina: YEAH!! Sakura: Umm

Zakura: Ok. Umm, Ed. You hate being a villain. Be the cheese hero. Ed: no. Zakura: Then why are you wearing orange spandex and cheese? Naruto: WE SHOULD BE A TEAM OF FOOD!! Ed: NO! I refuse to do my hero duties! Zakura: Then you explode. Ed: What? Zakura: yeah. If youre a hero and you refuse to use your powers you explode. Ed: fine. I strive to bringcheeseto children Zakura: Good enough.
=OwO= omg yay lee and gaara are together! finally! anyway...questions Zakura: i dare you to lock your self and hinata in the closet together for the whole chapter both of you in nothing but you under garments...and you can't touch her at all. XD Kurenai: (gives chocolate) because your cool! but you have to share with hinata or else bad things will happen everyone else: whoes a virgin!?!? no lieing!! MiniDeath P.S, (throws in starfire and raven from teentitans)

Lee: So many people are happy for us! Gaata: -is embarrassed and adorably shyZakura: YES!! finishes reading question- NO! Hinata: Ohuhwell, since itll just be us girl Ed: GO! shoves them both inKiba: That was eager Ed: I deserve revenge Kurenai: -throws part of the chocolate in the closet and devours whats leftTsunade: -currently has Jiraiya is a headlock- Im certainly not. Jiraiya: -wheezes-

Sakura: We already went over this Zakura: I get laid, Sakura doesnt. Yes, we know she sucks. Sakura: hate you. Haku: Im not! Ed: Thats justwrong Haku: But its with Zabuzaits perfectly right! Ed: -shuddersStarfire: Friends! You are all heroes yes? Orochimaru: Naw, Im a villain! Starfire: -gasps- Villian! We must! Raven: No. We mustnt. There is no pointthese guys obviously are worthless as villains AND heroes. Starfire: I think not! Everyone has powers of worth! You, little orange child, what do you do? Naruto: I eat ramen!! Starfire: this is a sad, sad day for hero-dom Raven: Yeah Deidara: Yeah! Raven: fuck off. God its good to curse. Starfire: Cursing is not a role-model like trait! Raven: Fuck rolemodel. Im only in it to spite Dad. Starfire: -sighsZakura: -walks up to Raven and high-fives herRaven: sup?

Zakura: Not much. Raven: Cool

1. Shikamaru: What would you think about Shika/Ten? I mean, she's not too pretty or too ugly, and is fairly nondescript. Plus, some of your massive popularity could bleed over to her and make her a recognizable character...And YOU could have the mediocre life you always wanted. Go laziness.

Shikamaru: I dont want anyone that boring. Then we would both just disappear into obscuritybesides Im more into men. Deidara: Meow. Yeah. Shikamaru: -sighs- why is everyone trying to get me with girls lately anyway? Lee: You must be more open about your sexual preference! I am BI!!! Gaara: and mine. hugsRaven: So, are you likeall gay? Zakura: umm, 50% gay, 49% bi, and 1% straight. Raven: Seriously? Zakura: -shrugs- its the basic idea. Starfire: But men and women are meant to love each other and reproduce and Oro/Ita/Dei/Zabu/Shin/Gaa/Zaku: -beats Starfire to purple/orange pulp and pour her out the windowRaven: Thanks. Ive been wanting that for a long time Zakura: Im the same way with pinky over there Raven: Ugh, what a ditz
Ginger: My cousin thinks 'lolz' means 'laughing over lazy zebras' Bell: I LAUGH at you zebras Zebras: >8U.. Yeah ok -falls asleepGinger: Lazy bastards. Anywhos, is Itachi's mangekyou used forBell: NO. Just, no. Don't ask that. Ginger: Fine. -huff- For anyone who wants to answer.. if you had to save your /closest/ companion from a fire but end up dying yourself, what would you do? I'D bring popcorn and watch.. mm, fire.

Naruto: DUDE!! Lazy zebras!! Kiba: thats crazy.CRAZY AWESOME!!

Lee: I MUST RE-ENERGIZE THEM WITH YOUTH!! Itachi: Ask! ASK!! Or Ill start spouting off stuff you never even dreamed of. Oh, and Id let him die. Kimimaro: Die for him Zakura: Were gonna do votes. Who would let their friend die? Ita/Dei/Sas/Oro/Kyuu: -raise handsZakura: All rightFairly predictableexcept you Kabuto. Youd die for Oro? Kabuto: No. Zakura: huh? Kabuto: Never mind. Deidara: Id bring popcorn too! Do you have any idea how dramatic it is when someone in the akatsuki dies?! Yeah?! Ita/Oro: YEAH!! Shinsou ~ If you can join another Anime besides Naruto, what would it be? Tengen Wabisuke Kankuro: who the fuck in shinsou? Kiba: I dunnohe probably needs to be bitch-smacked. Sakura: Moving on
Orochimaru: your outer skin has peeled off a few times in the show. Is it rotting? Do you smell like rotten flesh? Who there thinks Orochimaru smells funky huh? Angel: Do you actually do d and d?! that's just SO dorky! You don't seem like the type!

Orochimaru: Naw. Its fake. I use fake skin to make myself look like my old self, but underneath Im just my host body. But Im so pretty Itachi: But its kind of creepy Orochimaru: Oh yeah. One time I was having sex and the person likeclawed me, and it ripped my skin, and he FREAKED out. I was laughing all night. Deidara: thats awesome yeahand he does smell funky! But its like ointments and stuff, yeah

Sasori: And snake. He smells likes snake. wrinkles noseLucifel: Yeah I do!! Its awesome! Every weekend! My group is my absolute favorite group of all time!! D&D FOR THE WIN!!! Sakura: Nerd Lucifel: Hello? Writing fanfiction? Sakura: -sighsLucifel: K, Im so sorry its so very latebut shit happened, I was deathly ill, I had a comic to write, and school and work became hella busy. But hey! I should be more settled next week!

Ask Sakura 43 Lucifel: Hey-oh. Whats up? Getting right to work today!
Hm...Something must have gone wrong with the Shipping and Handling. Not to worry! *Fixes Metal Sasuke* That should do it! ...I hope. Naruto: You have your own harem in my ask fic! Metal Sasuke: How do you like it over there, my creation? Kiba: Have a master ball (gives master ball) Orochimaru: For some reason, you are hunted by Chibi demonic Mongooses in my ask fic. I don't know why... Lucifel: Here, you can use the Souledge and Soulcaliber for a while. Edward: You have GOT to see these funny videos of you on Youtube! Just type in 'Edward is Darkwing Duck?' And 'Ed Elric is Captain Planet!' You will LAUGH! Oh, and WHO WANTS MONEY! (Throws a Million dollers in the room) Catch you next continue! Metal Sasuke: That beith much more desirable. I feeleth much more alive than ever I have before, indeed!

Zakura: Damn, fucking shakesperian

Sakura: -sighsNaruto: Dudethats awesomeI want one here too!! Saku/Zaku/Kure/Tsu: NO! Naruto: Aww Hinata: -blushes savagelyZakura: Godafter that excursion in the closetI need something to take out sexual frustration on Tsunade: So go find AnkoWe dont have time for your horny whining. God, children. Jiraiya: Can you stop killing me please? Tsunade: No. pokes with kunaiKiba: Sweet. storesM. Sasuke: I thinkest it beith very pleasant!! Naruto: Huh? Orochimaru: WAA?! Theyre still after me? SHIT!! Uhjust keep them there ok? I definitely never provoked them. Tsunade: And Jiraiyas never peeked on a girls hotspring. Orochimaru: Are you sure? Tsunade: -sighLucifel: Dude, right on. Ill definitely find A usenot now though, were going basic style for this chapter. Kiba: SoI can get out of this outfit now? Sakura: Dude, weve all been out for a while Kiba: Ohehehe Ed: Yes, PLEASE, continue making fun of me and humiliating me until I DIE!! Im really enjoying it! Fuck off all of you!

Orochimaru: Only if you join me Ed: -sobsTsunade: -gets a hungry glint in her eyesEveryone: MONEY!!! rushes around desperately to grab itTsunade: -pulls out massive team-rocket-esque missile-launcher- ALRIGHT YOU PUNKS!! FORK IT OVER OR DIE!! Everyone: -forks overKyuubi: No. Tsunade: What?? Kyuubi: -waves wad of dollars- I said no. Tsunade: You dont even need money. Kyuubi: So? I dont want you to have it. Tsunade: -fires missileKyuubi: -is undamaged- what next? Tsunade: Ill get you yet.dont go to sleep foxy
Kimimaro: The fuck? Youre scared of DUCKS?! You obviously havent been attacked by a swan then. Fecking vicious vermin.. Awesome Evil Peoples: Howdy thar. Any of you interested in any countries out there? My plan to take over the world with penguins is already in motion. Deidara: You said that youd let your friend die in the fire.. What if it was Sasori? But if you or Zakura ever want to come me way.. Well, the offers there. Im a Bi female, btw. Kimimaro: Yeah, you just dont usually see ducks attacking. They have you fooled. All of youbut I know the truth.

Gaara: Kimi, youre weirding me out. Kimimaro: Oh go snog your boyfriend. Gaara: OK! tackles LeeM. Sasuke: Ah, youthful passion and earthly delight Zakura: zip it.

Orochimaru: Can I have Iceland? Itachi: Can I have a place with endless people for mass-murdering? Deidara: You cant have ALL of Africa, yeah Sakura: -gapeZakura: Nice one. Sakura: You cant SAY that!! Thats WRONG!! Lucifel: I feel dirty for typing thatMUDBATH!! Sakura: -face-palmsItachi: Now seriously, penguins? Everyone does penguinsyou need something unpredictable. Like Demons. Sakura: Oh come on, how is that unpredictable? Itachi: Because its so clichd no-one thinks anyone would go through with it. Sakura: Oh, and what about your sheep? Itachi: Sheep ARE demons!! Sakura: okWere done here Deidara: no way! I wanna live, yeah! I love him but I wouldnt die for him, yeah. Sasori: thanks
OMG YOU DID NOT JUST DROP KICK KABUTO-KUN! *glares* Your gonna make me come in there! do not make me abuse my powers as a fanfic author and steal your food AND sake... I will do it... and then I will force you all to wear... THE... *looks around for idea's* VEGGIETALES OUTFITS! You have been warned... Kabuto-kun, if you had a choice to stay in there, or come live with me for the rent of hugging you when ever I feel like it which would you pick? ... your happiness depends on your answer! Kabuto who's your closest friend that you would die for that you didn't tell us? He-Yan -kisses for everyoneZakura: Omg, yeah he WAS just drop-kicked!

Kabuto: Please dont do it againand thanks for the defense I guess but Id want to stay with Orochimaru anduhand Shikamaru: -whispers in Kabutos ear-

Kabuto: It is not a close friend that I would die for. gives Shikamaru the thumbs up- and of course I would die for Orochimaru-sama. Zakura: Shikamaru, no fair using your loophole finesse to help others. Youre a bastard. Shikamaru: -smirksKiba: Yeah! Thats not fair! Shikamaru: Theres no rule stating I cant. Zakura: There is now. Kyuubi: I beg to differ. Ill personally defend the kid. Shikamaru: -confused but going with itGlad you used my theme suggestion! Neji and Kankurou: how do you feel about your recent neglect in this story? Metal Sasuke: You sure shut up for a while last chapter. Your batteries must be running low. (Replaces batteries, resets to Cowboy accent mode) Gee, my giant eyeball worked out so well last time... (adds in Giant Left Hand, because obviously more oversized floating body parts are needed) Shino: It was your idea-glares- You will die.

Kiba: As will we all someday. Shino: Dont pretend being smart Kiba: -poutsNeji: Im pissed. Ive been here for a long-ass time and I deserve attention dammit! Kankuro: I was never really meant to be here and so long as I can stare at Gaara all I like Gaara: Hey, I have a boyfriend now. Lee: And he is mine so you can not have him! Gaara: -yayNeji: Yeah well I WANT attention!! Kiba: We know already Metal Sasuke: YEEHAW Yall I am rarin to go! I got me energy like grand-pappys chilli when Gramma was done spikin it with her secret fire sauce!!

Itachi: Isnt he supposed to have at least minor relation to Sasuke? Cuz we never had cilliever. Metal Sasuke: -tries riding Tsunades lifeguard chair like a rodeo bullOrochimaru: DUDE! Im gonna use it as a throne! positions hand into a seat and lounges- Im so badass. Deidara: I want a TUUURN!! Yeah! Neji: NO!! I get a turn because I deserve attention!! tries to pull Oro out of chairOrochimaru: no. Fuck off. Neji: -sits and pouts- Yeah well everyone knows what people use their left hands for anyway Orochimaru: youre not gonna freak me out kid-licks handNeji: Oo kinky hot HT: so... do i not have rabies now? amber: i dont have rabies anymore. HT: anyway, ill try to help you get more then 100 reviews!! but um... im gonna check that fanfic out... you know, to see how good it is... can i have metal sasuke? ILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! akii-chan is a girl. not a boy! i noticed your mistake when you said he... sesshomaru: waah! your mean! -runs off cryingHT: you scared seshy off! T.T amber: have you even noticed how long this is? HT: no, actually. im too busy doing my math at the same time... wtf is 2x+93(6-2)!!?
Deidara: Youre welcome about the rabies, yeah.

Itachi: We should give them back againteehee. Neji: I WANT RABIES!! Kiba: -sigh- No, youre thinking of HIV or something. You cant get rabies through sex Neji: Fuck off. Zakura: no, sorry.

Metal Sasuke: Its a wild one a-right!! YEEHAW!! tumbles into pool and because the metal is so heavy he gets pulled to the bottomZakura: Hes drownedright on. Seems to be the death of choice. Lucifel: 100? umm Zakura: You know it was a typostupid whore. Lucifel: -glares- And anyway, if this Fruits basket Akito he is indeed a boy. Deidara: Yay, bishie! Yeah! Itachi: Dude, if Sesshomaru has run off, can we find him? Sesshomaru: Hello puny creatures. I amm Sesshoma Kyuubi: Bitch, dont start. I will rip out your THROAT. Sesshomaru: Bring it. Kyuubi: -lungesSesshomaru: -draws swordKyuubi: what you need a sword? Weak. becomes surrounded by demonic chakraSesshomaru: What? Kyuubi: -dominatesSesshomaru: -lies twitching on the groundKiba: -catches with masterball- YEAH! I CAUGHT A SESSHOMARU!! Itachi: -twitches- you keep that shit away from me Orochimaru: Sex is always the answer!! Jiraiya: hellz yeah!! Ceyx:Anyway, I'm sorry about being so absent, school's been a bitch. Ashlynn: and you're too much of a pussy to review Ceyx: It's been weird ever since Ashlynn came out of the closet. Ceyx: *pours chocolate syrup on Hinata* Now Kurenai, are you straight? Ashlynn: I hope not, waht with the hot ass and all. Ceyx: I actually have a serious question here. You see...one of uh my friends from

school...got bustier and...*pokes index fingers togeter in a very Hinataesque manner* Ashlynn: And what nii-san is trying to say is how do you get into her pants? Ceyx: -.- No I was trying to ask how do I compliment without getting her to kick my ass? Ashlynn: Kurenai, what happened to that tazer Ceyx gave you? And Why do you get such little screentime?
Lucifel: thats my daughter, exploring her sexuality! Though you should tone it down, love, the girls and guys like a little subtlety

Kurenai: Yescome to the pool room and clean up Hinata. takes the traumatized Hinata to the poolZakura: Ill uh Sakura: no you wont. Uhjust ummput a disclaimer before the statement? Itachi: no, no, like this: -ahem- DAYUM HO!! YOU IS LOOKIN FLY WITH THEM BADONKADONKS BUSTIN OUTTA YO SHIRT!! Thats how you guys talk now, right? Orochimaru: That should work.. Tsunade: -while digging her heal into Jiraiyas spine- Just dont do what Jiraiya did. Orochimaru: -snicker- that was hilarious! Sakura: What happened Tsunade-sensei? Tsunade: Well, after he stopped his ten minutes of silent gawking he pointed and shouted WHERE DID YOU STEAL THOSE FROM?! and then I kicked his ass. Jiraiya: yeow Kurenai: Tucked away. I prefer my skilletbut its good to have around. Although with Tsunade here theres a lot less call for useAlso, I dont mind little screen-timeI think it helps my sanity. Zakura: We should fix that
w00t! Awesome makeover Dei-Dei-chan!! *gives Dei a special box* this box can give you whatever you want,...I think... or it could *cough-cause-a-giant-black-hole-to-form-and-suck-you-into-anotherdimension-cough* ^.^ Oh and Itachi did you know Sais been sleeping with Sasuke in your absence. Neji why is it your hair stays so neat? June x

Naruto: It is not awesomebeing sexy itches. scratches buttSakura: Youre ruining the effect of the make-over

Deidara: ThanksIll justput this awayOR!! ILL OPEN IT RIGHT NOW YEAH!!! opensEveryone: NOOO!!! -frog hops out of box, croaks a few times and hops awayDeidara: Boring...yeah-throws box into a corner where it begins faintly hummingItachi: Im not surprised. Sasukes such an adorable little ho Shikamaru: Adorable yeah-scribbles madly to Choji on the letter-thing which he got backNeji: its Kiba: Whore gel. Whores use it so their hair stays neat and they dont have to re-do it between lays, Neji: No. Its natural. I hate you.
Naruto: Holy crap~! your sexy! it's the end of the world! (runs around screaming until she runs into a wall)...ow Itachi: here (give a strange shaped bottle) be careful in you drink to much or to little...well lets just say you better hope someone send you some shaving cream and a razor! also make sure your thinking of the hair on your head when you drink it! Everyone: All of you have to wear frilly dresses for the rest of the chapter except for the following. Zubaza, Zakura, Kisame, Kyuubi, and Jiraiya...on second thought jiraiya you have to wear one to, it will make me laugh. XD MiniDeath (P.S. throws in ouran high school host club)

Naruto: It is not!! Youre mean! sulkssexilyItachi: Right on-concentratesDeidara: Teeheehead.. Itachi: -snrrkCHOKE- gag.gag-sits heaving and choking violentlyKisame: -runs over and pats back- I love it when you heave. Itachi: -gives fingerKisame: -smirks- later Itachi: -tries to glare but just keeps chokingOrochimaru: yay! Badass with a frilly dress!!

Jiraiya: Good for youI cant say the same. Ed: frills and automail do NOT mix dammit Deidara: But you look so cute, yeah. Ed: Screw you. Tsunade: Im so not happy. kicks JiraiyaJiraiya: Why take it out on me!
Tsunade: You know why. Kiba: I found akamaru for you (drops akamaru in the room) Tsunade: Shizune said to give you this (Hand's Tsunade a big pile of paperwork with a pen) she said you had to do it. Gives a cookie to everyone and replenishes the store's of food in the fridge. Anyways bye all ~~Taki-Kun~~

Kiba: Manall the teasing and Akamaru: WOOF! Kiba: Itworked? Akamaru: rowf! pounces and licks face furiouslyKiba: -cries happily- AKAMARU!! Shino: -pats Akamarus backTsunade: DammitIll justpretend I never got this-drops into pool- That felt good. pats hands- Now where did Jiraiya go?! Jiraiya: -is hiding in terrorKiba: FOOD!! he and Akamaru rush to the fridge, barking happilyboth of them barkingSakura: Since you were all (and I quote) "-gapes in horny shock-" I dare you to make-out, FULL make-out with Naruto. Itachi: If I hugged you... would you hurt me? Metal Sasuke: -slaps- Stop acting WEIRD!
Sakura: umm-looks at Naruto who is looking in turn rather excitedand still sexy- ok.

-they make out-

Sakura: Whoayou even kiss better now!! Naruto: It felt pretty good-reelsKabuto: -clenches teeth and cracks knucklesKimimaro: You ok? Kabuto: huh, oh finewhy wouldnt I be? Kimimaro: okwhatever. throws hands up in surrenderItachi: -pulls out kunai and holds discreetly- no-looks around innocently- wanna hug? Metal Sasuke: -gurglegurgleZakura: Aww , manhe cant die down therecuz hes a robotno fun
Orosama! You wouldn't save Jiraiya?! Why not? Jiraiya do you love Orosama? Shikamaru: God you are good at being annoying. And I can't think of anyway to be annoying back. -thinks long and hard- nope I got nothing. Will you fiure out who Naruto's crush is for me? I'll give you chocolate (just don't let Kurenai see) Orochimaru: Because I like being alive. But I mean, if had already learned all the jutsuno, I dunnoI really like living

Jiraiya: Uhwell after that Tsunade: -looks around for where hes speaking fromJiraiya: I did once. Anyway Orochimaru: -small smileShikamaru: I dont like chocolate that much. But all of Narutos crushes are pretty dang obvious. I can tell you that much. Hinata: -crosses fingersKurenai: Ill figure it out for you!! Hinata: Oh Kurenai-sensei Kankuro: -sends chakra strings into the pool and pulls M.Sasuke out as a puppet- yay! makes him slap Narutos assNaruto: WHAT THE HELL?!

Kankuro: -making M. Sasuke talk- Sorry pardner, I guess some of my inner-workings that make me act like Sasuke kicked in. Naruto: Oo Kankuro: -snickersNeji: Have you been in bed with every person from your clan? Shikamaru: remember that you're in the kitty costume! And if you tell me what I wanted to know a few chapters ago, I may let you out of the costume. But only if I'm happy with the answer! Haku: Don't you ever feel annoyed with Zabuza keeping you away from all other men? -Throws in blankets and pillows- It's gonna get cold, so there you go! Neji: No, I have not. Just a couple. Im not THAT slutty. I have some standards, and not all the Hyuugas are as good-looking as me and Hinata.

Kiba: Riiiight. Akamaru, is Neji a slut? Akamaru: ARF! translated: are you kidding? DUH!!Kiba: Thats a good boy!! hugsShikamaru: Now Im actually in a frilly dressI almost want the kitty costume back Akamaru: WOOF! WOOF!! ARRRRFF!! Cat?! Wheres a cat?!!Kiba: -pats- cool down, nowhere here. Akamaru: Ruff. oh, right onHaku: No. I dont need anyone else. Zabuza: -holds close- Damn right Tsunade: Such a healthy relationship.-rolls eyesOrochimaru: Yay!! Pillows and blankets for cuddling!! WHEE!! Jiraiya: -dashes under Orochimarus blanket and hidesslightly wierded out by the hand thing1.Tsunade: What is it like to have a subordinate like Shizune that tries to make you do paperwork all the time? 2. Kurenai: Are there any other people that you think are responsible adults that you'd like to have in there with you?
Tsunade: Cant you just figure that one on your own? What is with these people? These are some of the most retarded questions

Sakura: Oh just answer. If we complained about every little thing Kiba: Wed be Neji! holds out handAkamaru: -high-fives- arf. wordKurenai: Asuma would be a nice changeeven with the awkward past thingor Gai mmmm Gai Lee: I would also enjoy seeing Gai-sensei very much!! Gaara: Please dont make out with him while Im still going to be kissing you Lee: Of course not!! Infidelity is not youthful!! I shall be eternally loyal!! Gaara: -blushes happily-sniff- I have a cold...and I'm too lazy to right "TM3" anymore...-sniffWingo: eww...a cold? stay away from me! you're a car! you can't...-sneezes- you can't catch human diseases! (that rhymed) 1. Wingo: didn't you notice that Zakura just violated muffin policy like...8 times in a row? it was only seven. bassturd isn't a bad word. (that also rhymed) Wingo: yes it is! no, it's not. a bass is a fish, and a turd is another word for poop! when you call someone what you would spell "b-a-s-t-a-r-d", you're calling them fish poop! Wingo:...who agrees with the fish poop thing? 2. anyway! two days ago this girl ate a fruit snack that another girl put in her mouth. -holds up fruit snacklicks fruit snack- one of you have to eat this. I don't care who. just someone. it's a dare. -The Muffinator 3 Ah..ah...ah-SNEEZE! Wingo: -gets sneezed on- O_O
Lucifel: aww, Muffin is sick toodont let your mucus monsters out!!

Kiba: But if that happens I can always save the day by schooltime!! Kurenai: Just stopplease Kiba: -innocent smilingItachi: Only a fan could get a car sickandummno. Deidara: That makes perfect sense!! Kiba: yeahI can see itgood point.

Zakura: No. Bastard is a bad word referring to someone who is fatherlesslike Kurenais kid because she wont let her baby-daddy see him. Kurenai: -goes pale- how did you Zakura: Bitch please, Im omnipotent. Kurenai: -sitsKiba: whos kid is it? Shino/Aka: -smack for idiocyHinata: -hugs KurenaiZakura: Hey Neji you want attention right!! Neji: -looks up from trying to seduce Sasori- yeah!! Zakura: Eat this. Neji: Ummok-eats- why did oh god-starts coughing violently and he has a fever and is stuffed up- Imma kill you allbastards Zakura: good luck with that. Kiba: So, Akamaru, what do you think of becoming the greatest pokemon master ever AND the master of the Kiba Kards!? Akamaru: Aroooof, bark, bark!! WOOOOOH!!! That sounds awesome! I will take down them pokemon like nothing else!!Kiba: RIGHT ON!! Shino: -face-palmsTo Hinata-hime: Hey could you please strip down to your undergarments and stay that way till the end of this chapter. To Itachi: -holds in vomit- That looked nasty when Kisame hugged you. He looks like Jaws. To Naruto: What wine would go best with ramen? To Sakura and Ino: Can you both make out? BYE BYE WOOF! Hinata: NO!! hides behind Kurenai-

Kurenai: Just cause Im shocked doesnt mean I wont kill you Tsunade: Oh yeah, Kurenai, know how I was supposed to be watching your kid? Kurenai: Yeoh god. Tsunade: WellI left it pretty out in the open so Shizune should find it and being so responsible and all Kurenai: -trembles in horrorKisame: Oh yeah? Well when I get my jaws on your FACE and kill you well see how you feel Itachi: eheheyeahsure-scoots awayNaruto: UhummRamenwine :) Sakura: So very brilliant. Naruto: Dudethat would be amazing! I should make that!! Kiba: I will totally help! Lee: Sounds youthful1! Shin/Gaa: -sighSakura: INO! Absolutely not!! That is sick and wrong! You perv! You Shikamaru: so you physically can not make out with anyone? Sakura: Well no I can but Shikamaru: As can Ino. Therefore the answer is yes, but you WILL not with each other. Sakura: OhI see Shikamaru: I mean really, you would think youd have learned by now
Hmm...What can I do to be sexy..Oh, I know! *Gives a sexy, devilish, evil grin, that would cause any normal women to swoon* Kyuubi: *Clears throat, before beginning to chuckle darkly, raising to laughing evilly, and then full blown, unadulterated, pure evil, soul destroying laughter, before stopping after a couple a minutes* So? What did you think? Kabuto: *Takes out a steel mallet with an evil grin, before hitting him with it* Everyone: I ask you all, except Kyuubi, and the other bad asses, because it's to easy for you, to take care of the toss in I'm tossing in. See if you can knock him out, -wihtout- killing him. P.S. *Tosses in a Predator, from Predator, after teaching him everythign about ninja, and all the ninja

techniques I can. Which is at least 2/3 as much as Orochimaru. And deactivating his self destruct thing* The greatest prey is the silver haired one, with the glasses. Have fun! Lucifel: WHOOOOOOO!!! THIS IS REVIEW NUMBER 666 BITCHES!!! RANDOM DEATH METAL MOMENT!!

-everyone is dressed in fish-net, leather, and denim, with fire spouting from the floor and dragons flying about and random evil screams coming from the backgroundKyuubi: My ROOM is more death-metal than thisamateur. Naruto: this itches even MORE. Pulls at tight pantsHinata: WHAA!! I dont like this! My shirt is practically see-through! Lucifel: Whatever, I was busy swooning over my husband anyway. SwoonsKiba: -dodges a pillar of fire- this is gaybut I do like the electric guitar solo in the background Kyuubi: Not bad on the laughter. But remember that Muwahaha is way more evil than buwahaha, and focus more on a deep growling sound than a cackle (which you only slipped into occasionally, which can add the right flavor when you get experienced enough to experiment with that) because cackling is more wicked witch than evil demon. Otherwise, not bad for a human kid. Lucifel: I has the best husband ever. He gave me my 666th review!! Only 333 more to go for my goal!! Zakura: You realize you only haveslightly more than a quarter of the year to pull that off? Lucifel: Ill find a way Kabuto: What the FOWW! Passes outSakura: Ack! Catches as he fallsand then drops him- bitch. Kimimaro: Poor thing. Walks over and tends toKiba: Aww.shit Predator: -howls and attacksEveryone: FUCK!!
(Syringe flies out of nowhere and injects green liquid into Deidara) NO! I'm sorry Dei-kun! Wait... (Gently pulls out syringe) it says ...muscle growth serum. WHO THE FUCK would carry stuff like this around! Wait. It says that there is a side effect of being able to change your appearance. Who here has heard of doctor who? (throws in a Dalek and cyberman from doctor who)

Deidara: URK!! Falls backwards twitchingSasori: Deidara!! Who will I use as a shield?! Im flammable wood here! Dodges another fiery pillar of the devilDalek: YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS!! YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!! Cyberman: I am Cyberman I Kyuubi: -disintegrates cyberman- were never that tough. Shakes head at the patheticnessKisame: -douses some flames so Itachi can get through to the pool where everyone is runningPredator in hot pursuitDalek: -aims at Sasori- you will be EXTERMINATED!! Deidara: RWARR!!! jumps up, a mass of blonde hair and muscle, lands on top of the Dalek where the stupid thing cant fire, and forces it with his new muscles to turn around and fire at the Predatorwho is exterminated and then Deidara proceeds to break the Dalek into pieces ignoring Sakura as she runs back through the fire, singing her clthes and hair to grab Kabuto and drag him to safetyMeanwhile, the box that has been sitting in a corner ticking softly explodes with alternate-dimensional energy and everything goes blank Lucifel: See you next week!! Sorry if this chapter was offI took a pretty no-frills justanswers approach, I hope that didnt dry it out too much. See you next week! Ask Sakura 44 Lucifel: So, after the explosion everyone was knocked off their feet and tossed around in a vortex of explosive energy until everything abruptly came to a stand-still and one by one they got to their feet to survey their surroundings. Sakura is still hold Kabuto, even as he wakes up, making an awkward set-up with her having her arms around and him trying to badly fake continuing unconsciousness. They stand in an empty white space. Up, down, left, right, all white. There is ground to stand on, so its as if their in a room of some sort, but walls and ceiling are impossible to distinguish even when throwing attacks in all directions. Even the floor seems an illusions cause attacks just go on, and disperse. Deidara: Im better now, yeah. smileTsunade: This is re-goddam-diculous. We had a pretty good set-up in that other room and now youve all gone and blown it all away. Way to fucking go.

Zakura: Actually, I think were in a different dimension inside the boxright on. Sakura: Well, how are we supposed to get back?! Kiba: Wait, wait, maybe in this world we dont HAVE to answer questions!!
Naruto actually looks hot 0.o wow your right, I don't let anyone know I read fanfiction. Hey you guys what makes someone a nerd? My friend got me started on watching Helsing so I'll throw Hellsing in the room. who has tattoos? Has anyone already asked that? If they have I'm sorry angel.

Kiba: Dammit. Naruto: Its not that shocking!! Sakura: that its lasted this long is though-eyes NarutoKabuto: -scowls and sulksOrochimaru: Well, ok. I know about this from watching the sound five and Jiraiya and his friends Nerdy things include writing fanfiction, playing role-playing video games and RP dice games, and card games like Magic the Gathering and Yu-Gi-Oh and that kind of shit. But the thing is, different people do these things. It basically breaks down to geeks and nerds. Geeks are aware of how dorky the things they do are, and laugh it off and continue doing it because they CHOOSE to do so. Nerds usually fall into doing these things because either they think theyre cool (gasp) Kabuto: HEY! They can be! Orochimaru: --and/or its the only group that will accept them, because for all their other flaws nerds and geeks and dorks tend to be the most accepting types of people. Nerds tend to be more annoying too. The types to trash-talk while playing Yu-Gi-Oh with phrases like you havent begun to see the power of my deck!! and so on. Tsunade: Thats about right. Kurenai: -nodsKimimaro: -turning to Kabuto- Ha, nerd. Kabuto: So are YOU!! Kimimaro: Uh, no. Im a geek. Nerd by choice. Youre the DM. The one who set it up. NERD. Kabuto: Dont do this to me Kimiplease

Kimimaro: K. hugsHellsing: What on earth is going on here? Zakura: YES!! SEXY ORGANIZATION-RUNNING WOMAN IN A SUIT!!! tacklesHellsing: Mrow. Well hello there. Sakura: So disturbed Kiba: It was asked! But its HILARIOUS so well bring it up again! SHIKAMARU HAS A TAT ON HIS ASS!!! Shikamaru: hate you. He got me drunk, he talked me into getting a tattooI regret it immensely. Kiba: Who did? Shikamaru: the person I was hanging out with at the time. Fuck off. Tsunade: the sannin all have tattoos. Itachi: Well we all know tha Tsunade: NOT on our faces. Itachi: do tell. Tsunade: -shrugs- Nah. Just throwing that out there. Itachi: WellOrochimarus been naked before Tsunade: He probably just doesnt bother keeping it when he changes bodies-suddenly looks very solemn, and goes quietKabuto: What about when we were all in the shower? We didnt see anything on Jiraiya. Itachi: Jiraiyas OLD. Were YOU eye-balling that? Kabuto: Wellno Itachi: Good. Zakura: Ok, so heres the deal. Hellsing: Little girl I am NOT done with you-reaches for her-

Zakura: In a minute. Soul Caliber and Soul Edge can grant their wielder whatever they want. Lucifel has them. Well hold a tournament and whoever wins gets them and can (preferably) get us out of hereor, those they wish. And besides that, probably manipulate the situation to whatever they please. Sound good? Everyone: WHOOO!!! Kiba: Bout time we got to kick some ass!! Zakura: All right. So, random pairs, the first two winners face off in the next round, and so on like that. Im gonna preside over this thing as a judge. Get ready. Thisll be fucking awesome.
*Sexy animal growl at Lucifiel* I'm 666, and married to you. That's awesome. Kyuubi: Ah, thank you. And for your reward. *Drops a tied up, and bound Aslan in front of you* Those ropes are invincible to everyone but you. Have fun. Kabuto: Since you pissed Sakura off, I've decided to torture you until she forgives you. Today's torture is being made into a woman. *Snaps fingers. Kabuto turns into a woman* Hehe. P.S. *Tosses in Yoda*

Lucifel: Yes, hello. cuddles- You are awesome. Zakura: FIRST ROUND!! AKAMARU VS. DEIDARA!! Kiba: isntisnt akamaru fighting with me? Zakura: Nope, youre all on your own. Kiba: That aint fair! What can Akamaru do on his against a member of the akatsuki!?! Deidara: Oh, I wont hurt him yeah. squats down and holds out hand- come here puppy. Come on over and well just have you lie on your belly and surrender, yeah? Akamaru: Arf, arf! what the fuck, dude?- .-walks oversniffs handpees in mouthDeidara: AAAGGGKK!!! YOU SICK LITTLE MUTT, YEAH!! Akamaru: -jumps onto Deidaras head and starts biting his headDeidara: OWW! OWW!! YOU STUPID DOG!! STOP IT YEAH!! throws clay bombAkamaru: -jumps off head just before the bomb explodesDeidara: -is knocked un-concious by the explosionEveryone: -stunned silenceZakura: Okthe winner isAkamaru

Akamaru: RUFF!! damn righ!Kiba: THATS MY BOY!!! runs up to hug AkamaruAkamaru: Arf. noKiba: huh? Akamaru: woof, woof, bark bow wow ruff woof, arf arf arf. Were both in this to win and as similar as we are, I think you know we both have different reasons for needing the swords.- Rowbow, woof, arf, woof, bark bark woof yap. Woof arf woof. -Maybe, when all this is over, we shall be comrades againId like that, in factuntil then, were enemies. Best of luck to you in your battles- -walks awayKiba: Oo akamaru? Shino: -pat, patKyuubi: OhIve been waiting for this! starts chopping Aslan into little piecesMUWAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Kabuto: Wait, WHAT?!-turns into a womanhe doesnt look all that different besides the c-sized chest and slightly more slender shoulders- Imgoing to kill you Orochimaru: KYAA!! FEM-KABUTO!! Sakura: -horrorKabuto: Jesus Christ, how do you women manage these things?! Tsunade: With a lot more grace than that-raises eyebrows at Kabuto fumbling with trying to adjust his shirt accordinglyOrochimaru: ISNT IT FUN?! Kabuto: no. Orochimaru: -awwwYoda: Strangethis place islike it, I do not. Zakura: Right on! Yoda will take care of judging the battles now while I make with Hellsing!! Hellsing: HELL YEAH!! pulls Zakura to her waiting breast-

Yoda: kinkyhot, that is.

Shino: Kill me? Please. Your mosquito friends have had me on the 'slowly devour: high priority' list for years. Zabuza: I dare you... to cut your own left hand off. Just one slice. (this dare can be transferred). Itachi: your dad's a horrible person, I'm glad you killed him! Could you kill him again? (throws in Itachi and Sasuke's dad)

Shino: Kill. You. holds out a thumbs-downKiba: -is cheered slightly by the absolute sexinessYoda: NEXT BATTLE!! Kankuro and Kabutofight, they must. Kabuto: Fuck. Im supposed to fight with these things?! Tsunade: Oh suck it up. kicks him forward.Kabuto: -gets readyKankuro: All right. Time to get serious againGAARA-CHAN ARE YOU WATCHING?! waves at GaaraGaara: -face-palm- Oh my god Lee: YOSH!! SHOW YOUR YOUTH BROTHER OF MY LOVE!! Kankuro: -gives finger- Shut-up you brother-stealing fuzzy-eyebrowed freak!! Lee: -twitch- I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!!! Gaara: -holds back- Down boy. Kankuro: Yeah thats right! Dont lose Lee! Cause were gonna meet up later and I will kick your ass and get my brother from you! Gaara: That wouldnt win me over Kankuro: Thats right! Im in this tournament to Kabuto: -bitch-slapswith his SHIN.- Shut UP. Fucking Christ Kankuro: -gurgles and stands up- Ok. Im sick of losing all the time! Every time I go up against a main character I lose cuz Im just the puppet freak with the weird make-up! Well no more!

Kabuto: -punches in the sternum- I said SHUT IT and lets fight. Youre whiny rambling just reminds of how annoying it was to pose as a konoha genin among you prosti-tots for all those yearsimmature little punk. Kankuro: -pulls out puppet- How dare you!! Kabuto: -rolls eyes, jumps behind him, grabs his throat and sends medical chakra into his neckKankuro: HRG!>?! faintsYoda: Win, Kabuto does. Gaara: -walks over to Kankuro and says to Kabuto- Did you kill him? Kabuto: No, just closed his windpipe for a moment, hell be back to normal in a bitwalks out of battle-ringYoda: Onto the questions, we go. Zabuza: transfer? Im bad-ass enough to handle that! chops off hand- fuck. Haku: -sighs- Oh Zabuza-sanI guess we know what youre fighting for-wraps bleeding arm- poor Zabuza. patsSakura: Theres sure a lot of condescending patting going on around here Tsunade: -pat, patSakura: -scowlItachi: What? Mr. Uchiha: son? Itachi: Dad? Mr. Uchiha: Youve got a lot to explain boy-o. Itachi: Oh yeah? Mt. Uchiha. Yeah. Why the fuck did you kill me? Itachi: Same reason Im about to do it again. Mr. Uchiha: -closes eyes- No.

Itachi: -twitch- I can kill you with a kunai too Mr. Uchiha: I can kill you with a fireball. Itachi: I killed you after wiping out the whole clanyoure not so tough. Mr. Uchiha: I wasnt expecting it. And you were on an adrenaline rush. You look a little exhausted Itachi: Youre eyes are closed asshole! Mr. Uchiha: They were open and functioning a minute agoyou cant quite say the same, eh? Itachi: I HATE YOU DAD!! Its your fault I felt suppressed in my sexuality and ended up joineing this retarded little club and becoming the sex-slave of a fucking SHARK. Kisame: Ouch. Itachi: -runs off cryingYoda: Go after him, you should. Mr. Uchiha: nah
OMG! DEI-DEI-CHAN! *huggles and subtly injects with a pink potion, then steps back and snickers* you are now gnna act like barbie for the rest of the chapter... Kiba thanks for telling me how Neji keeps his hair like that! Neko-nee-chan has been dieing to know! *gives Kiba and Akamaru a rare pokemon as thanks* hehe while I'm at it -chucks in Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scoutscould u guys murder these lot for me? there's a prize to whoever does the best.. June x

Deidara: KI dont feel any different yeah. Sasori: shouldnt you be all giggly and having sleepovers andnever mind. Deidara: yeah. :3 Yoda: Next fight Hellsing: Ooooh, kiddo, you sure youre old enough to be doing that? Zakura: You sure youre young enough to handle it? Sakura: justloookawayjustlookaway

Yoda: Shino vs. Neji it is. Neji: Heh, this shouldnt be too hard. Ive smashed lots of bugs before. Shino: -smirks- I dont think you understand just what I can do. Neji: Ive seen you fight Shino. Youre doomed against me. Shino: -walking up close to him.- No-opens Jacket to show tight muscles under a fishnet shirtNeji: -gulps and gapesShino: I really dont think you understand -opens Nejis shirt and runs fingers down his chest- just what I can do. Runs fingertips along the top of his pantsNeji: -whimpers and shivers in excitementKiba: WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Shino: -cracks his elbow across Nejis jaw at point-blank, after sending his chakra-eating bugs all over his chest and down his pants Neji: WTF?! Tries swatting bugsShino: -jumps forward- DONT squish my bugs-knees him in the groin and he falls over cringing- And DONT ever think I have low enough standards to go for yousaunters back over to Kiba.Kiba: -glomps- Youre so fucking amazing! Shino: -hugs back- I know. Kiba: DUDE!! I GOTS A LAPRAS!!! Shino: fucking ADHD FIGHTING EVIL MY MOONLIGHT!!! WINNING LOVE BY DAYLIGHT!!! Yoda: NOOOOO!!! attacks the sailors and chops them to bits with his light-saberListen to Luke watch that show too much, I did. Take it anymore, I can not. Sailors: -twitchbloodspurt-

Sakura: yay.
Ginger: Ayyaa! -sniffle- I have minor pneumonia ): Oh, and Bell left for her aunt's house for a while, so I have a visitor to keep me company. Asher: Uh, hi. Ginger: Itachi, what I was going to say was sex. -nods, then brushes Asher's pretty dark red hair even though she has been threatened multiple times alreadyAsher: Kisame, can you cry under water? And do you do it so you don't look like a wuss in front of Itachi?

Itachi: HAHAHA!! Youre sick!! No one cares!! Mr. Uchiha: Kind of how I felt about you Itachi: -goes back to sulkingNaruto: Eat lotsa ramen!! Its like chicken-noodle but BETTER!! Sakura: And get lots of rest! Orochimaru: And because not enough of our fans were having random schizophrenic conversations this one is toomakes sense, huh? Shino: I just wanna know who Ill be fighting next Yoda: Next battle, Kiba vs. Metal Sasuke it is. Naruto: I thought Metal Sasuke drowned? Metal Sasuke: Im back. And programmed to KICK YOUR ASSES!!! Zakura: Yeah, we needed someone to even it out I guess Hellsing: And youre not pleasuring me right now, because? Shino: Oo Kiba Kiba: -getting pumped- yeah? Shino: Lose. Kiba: -screeches to a haltMetal Sasuke: MORTAL KOMBAT!! Kiba: Shino! Im not gonna lose! Shino: I dont wanna hurt you! I mean, if we fight Kiba: You think I wont be able to stand my ground?

Shino: Well I Kiba: No. Well talk later. Right now, Im going to go, win. WIN! Shino: -scowlsMetal Sasuke: Prepare to lose PUPPY MAN!! Kiba: Fuck off man! Im winning this one!! Metal Sasuke: -punches across face- Really, dog-man? Kiba: -skids back a few steps- YEAH!! pounces with claws out, jumps on Metal Sasukes back, and grabs a tangle of wires, jumps away and tears them off with himWHAT NOW?!? Metal Sasuke: final survival mode activated. metal and wires fall of completely leaving only a Sasuke-shaped mass of chakra- What now, pup? Kiba: Now? I wipe you away. lungesMeterchakra Sasuke: -runs to meet him and grabs his armKiba: -his sleeve burns away, his skin becoming singed- SHIT! breaks away- Pure chakra fucking BURNS! Chakra Sasuke: Doesnt it? Whats wrong boy? Cant you take it? Kiba: -thinking- wellsomething must be keeping it all together -talks- I can take it. runs straight at chakra Sasuke, who in surprise can do nothing, so Kiba grabs his shoulder and plunges his hand inside, where he gropes around, suffering intense burning until he findsa big red button- wtf? pushesChakra Sasuke: Shit. fades and leaves only a big red on/off buttonYoda: Kiba, the winner is. Shino: -runs up- Kiba! Youre hands! Theyre burnt! Kiba: -knocks him away and goes over to where Hinata is cheering him excitedlyand then in a panic realizes his state of health and sets to wrapping his burnt handsShino: fuck Zakura: Ahhhthat was good

Hellsing: Mmm, yeah. Thanks. Im heading out to meet Alucard now. See you later. kisses goodbyeZakura: Ok little green man Yoda: NO! Mine, this tournament is. Fuck yourself, you should. Zakura: fineasshole Itachi: ErrwellDeidara and I have a bit of S&M fun every now and then I admit Deidara: Yeah. Mr. Uchiha: sick and WRONG. Itachi: Fuck you Dad! I hate you! Mr. Uchiha: I hate you too. Itachi: -wince- Kisame: sure, I CAN, but I never need to! I dominate Itachi! But I mean, I also have to look after his sexiness. I adore him. Itachi: At this my hair will just GROW back. it is indeed now almost-chin lengthit looks pretty adorableKisame: I think youre sexy. Itachi: -leans against him and curls upCan he rust? MetalSasuke that is? So if Neji agree's that Hinata is good looking...why haven't you slept with her yet? Or did you fail due to her awsome cuteness won't let you? That's it Shika! No more loopholes for you *bops on head with magic wand* everytime you try to loophole the plotbunny will come sit on you... actually he's a good guy... shame about the stubble and smoking habits...

Kiba: Nobut he can be DOMINATED!!!! gives thumbs-upNeji: I justyeah, it would feel too much like I was destroying the only goodness left in my familynow if SHE wanted to do something Hinata: -blushes furiously- Neji-kun!! Neji: Oh whatever, Hinata Yoda: Next battle!! Kimimaro vs. Jiraiya it is!!

Kimimaro: Ohshitwhy did I get a sannin? I really wanted to win Gaara: Why? You always seemed kind of passive about things? Do you care that much about getting the swords? Kimimaro: Id justlike to win a battleI mean, think about it. In the main plot, I showed up basically just to have a dramatic death. When we were in the dungeon? I died during the final climactic battle. Id just like to win for once. To really prove my worth. I dont want to be the person thats only there to get his ass kicked for everyone else. Gaara: Well then, go kick his ass!! Kimimaro: Heh, sure Jiraiya: All right pretty-boy!! Bring it on. Kimimaro: -brings out his bone-sword and gets into a read stanceJiraiya: Im too old for long battles, so Ill make this quickRASENGAN!!! preps Rasengan and rushes KimimaroKimimaro: -grabs Jiraiyas wrists, flips over his head, re-directing his attack at the floor where it shoots forwards and fizzles out, the then creates a bone-spike one his heel and kicks Jiraiya asideJiraiya: -hits the floor, skids, and then jumps to his feet- I fricken HATE kids!! SUMMON!!! Gama-Oyabun: This better be good Naruto: Gama-Oyabun!!! HEY!! Gama-Oyabun: Fuck off kid Kimimaro: Damntoads Jiraiya: I have to win this tournament! Lets fight, Gama-Oyabun!! Gama-Oyabun: What is this tournament for? Jiraiya: Getting home!!! Gama-Oyabun: Nothing to help me out-sighs- Whatever, you owe me, old pervert. whips tongue out-

Kimimaro: -jumps up, flips over, making Gama chase him with his tongue, so that he can stab a bone through his tongue, trapping it into a sort-of knotGama-Oyabun: FUCKING BRAT!! raises foot for squishingKimimaro: -jumps out of the wayjust barelyand get his ankle badly twisted- shit Gama-Oyabun: -puffs on pipe- -sighs- these fights are such a PAIN. Kimimaro: -jumps onto his pipe- Oh really? Chops off the tobacco bowl, kicks the stem down his throat and dump the embers on his jacket, which catches fire- No kidding. Gama-Oyabun: -falls down in a choking, smoking mass- fu-cough-ck thi-hu-hu-s. unsummonsJiraiya: Fuck! You little brat! Kimimaro: -gestures for Jiraiya to come attackJiraiya: -pulls out kunai and throws it violentlyand then a whole shit-ton moreKimimaro: -deflects deftly, and its a male-storm of kunai until Jiraiya finally runs out and Kimimaro runs forward, and strikes him with a finger-tip-bone-bullet right on a nerve which knocks him out coldYoda: Kimimaro, the winner is. Oro/Kabu/Gaa: WHOOOO!! group glompShikamaru: RightokIll definitely stay on the look-out for the plotbunnyhow troublesome Orochi: Icelands yours. Won't you be all cold and stuffs cause your a snake? Saku-Chan: Here, Imma send you some new clothes seeing as you got your old ones singed in the demonic realm place. But I have another gift! -Gives a blank picture frameIt shows you the picture of the person you love most. Oh look, I have another one! Here you go Kabuto! Itachi: I'M Predictable? ME?! Well when I rule Japan, you're going down. Plus I have perfected my tweezer technique. But surely butterflies are more predictable? That's what my lil bro wants to appose me with.. Till next time, Nat x Orochimaru: Ill be fine! Ill bring heat-lampsin fact my whole scheme is to heat Iceland into the best island paradise ever!! Kurenai: Way to fight Global warming there, buddy.

Orochimaru: -shrugs- I just like beachesis that so wrong? Kurenai: In Iceland it is!! Yoda: The next battle, yours is not. Kurenai: Oh whatever. Yoda: Orochimaru vs. Kisame, it is. Orochimaru: Dammit! I wanted someone cute! Oh wellIll just have to beat up the shark-man so I can face Kimi. Kimimaro: O.o Oh noI cantface Orochimaru-sama Kabuto: Sucks to be you. Kimimaro: Why couldnt I be the one fighting the dog?! Kabuto: Cause I deserve a break tooafter getting boobs and all Orochimaru: Im done! Kisame: -is lying on ground with many strangle/bite marksItachi: Well THATS impressive. Kisame: yeowch Kimimaro: GODAMMIT!!

Tsunade: Huh? Who is it Sakura? Sakura: -staring at the picture frame- SaSasuke-kun Tsunade: Oh bull shit. I know you just talk yourself into loving him. Zakura: YES!! I LOVE YOU TSUNADE!! Tsunade: Who is it, Sakura? Naruto? Sakura: NO!!

Tsunade: Lee? Gaara: -glaresSakura: NO!!! Gaara: -nods, thinking- sright bitch Tsunade: Kimimaro! Sakura: NO! Tsunade: Kabuto? Sakura: WHAT?!? Tsunade: SO ITS HIM!! Sakura: WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?! Tsunade: Because you didnt say no right away! Sakura: Well thats cause it was a weird suggestion! Tsunade: So was Kimi!! Sakura: LEAVE ME ALONE!! Curls up defensivelyKabuto: -drops picture frame on Kibas headKiba: OWW!! You just shattered that fucking thing on my HEAD!! Kabuto: Whoops-looks away innocentlySakura: -gets changed into new clothes, now in her shippuden outfitKabuto: Dammit Kimimaro: Yeah, that ones a good deal sexier huh? Kabuto: Hate you. Kimimaro: I know.

Itachi: Butterflies are actually fairly understandable against penguins. Theyre of the few things with the ability to fight the cuteness of penguins. But they die fast so its kind of a painbasically you guys dont stand a chance. Mr. Uchiha: Kind of like your chance at ever being a normal, non-disgusting-piece-ofshit kind of human being. Itachi: -curls back up with KisameDeidara: I must say though, yeah, Tweezers are very scary, yeah. And as Oro and Ita said earlier, VERY useful, yeah. Orochimaru: Careful with those things. Dares: Sakura you have to make out with ALL of these people: A) Haku B) Kabuto C) Orochimaru (Sasuke: *staring at computer screen that has the room on it* Is that place real? *pokes screen*) It sure is! *kicks sasuke through the screen and into the room. Then seals it so he can't get back through* There you are. *Insert evil laugh here* ~~Taki-Kun~~ Sakura: .what? Haku: oh, ok! Sakura: UmmId feel lesbian kissing Haku Haku: Nothing like a little experimentation, right?! Zabuza: Do it and Ill kill you Saku/Haku: -have a quick grope-less and with very little tongue makeoutSakura: Damn! How did you learn to kiss like that?! Haku: Teehee, from the best. kisses the seething ZabuzaOrochimaru: -pounces and tongue-rapes then turns to Kabuto- Youre turn! Sakura: Yeah, Kabuto, youre turn. glares-

Kabuto: -gulps, steps forwardkissesventures into making out territory- OWW!! FUCK!! You almost bit my fucking tongue off you CRAZY BITCH!! Sakura: Its what you get ass hole! And use some Listerine next time you fucking asswipe!! Zakura: Oh, I love it. Kabuto: -stalks offYoda: Between Sasori and Tsunade the next battle is. Sasori: -pulls out ansemble of puppets- Prepare to be defeated by my perfect works of art Tsunade: -takes each puppet, one by one, and crushes it to a fine dust- Sassy, my STUDENT kicked your ass. What do you think Ill be able to do? Sasori: fine, I quit. Yoda: Give up, Sasori has, the winner, Tsunade is. Tsunade: -sighs- So easy to intimidate these menI love it Sakura: WAY TO GO SENSEI!! Orochimaru: FUCK!! SASUKES IN THE ROOM RIGHT NOW!!! Itachi: AAAHHH!! WE HAVE TO GET BACK NOOOOWWW!!! Mr. Uchiha: ah yes, my DECENT son. The son I actually love. Itachi: STFU DAD!! Mr. Uchiha: No. That son isnt a flaming faggot. Itachi: Oh yeah? Everyone here whos slept with Sasuke raise your hand. Ita/Oro/Nej/Kisa/Kan/Shika/Yoda: -raise handsSakura: Kisame.ShikamaruYoda??? Kisame: Itachi and he offered a threesomeby which I mean I jumped in and joined them. Shikamaru: Of course, weve slept togetherin the same room. smirk-

Sakura: That was a loophole just to be difficult. Shikamaru: Sowhy is assume sitting on me? Asuma: Hey, ninja missions dont pay what they used to. Plot-bunny is a fine part-time job on the side. lights a cigKurenai: -furious blushingAsuma: Besides, you should be used to being underneath meohhello Kurenai and Tsunadeaherm-gets off Shikamaru- Lets just not do that again ok? Gotta go Shikamaru: -disturbedYoda: Sasuke, a whore was-smilesZakura: -pushes away- you need to leave now Yoda: NO! Finish judging the battles I willnoooo!! gets pushed awayMr. Uchiha: Youve set this up to screw with me you sick fuck. Itachi: -slaps- I hate you-starts crying- Its your faultyour fault I never felt like I was worth anything. Why I thought I should kill my best friend because you convinced me he had turned me gay when we had only fallen in love Because of you, I told myself I was really just a sick fuck, and did sick things. I hated you so much, I thought if I could be more powerful by being unsightly, disturbed, disgusting, and get enough power to kill you, and ruin the whole clan that you had made turn against methen it was WORTH IT. Mr. Uchiha: Its not fault Itachi. Youre just a warped person. Sick in your soul, and that has nothing to do with me. Itachi: -sobKisame: -cleaves Mr. Uchiha in twoZakura: Damn, both throw-ns gotten rid of in one page Itachi: -blinks- what? Kisame: Well, he was hurting you. And unless its me whipping your ass while were in bed, I dont like to see you in pain. Youre not sick. Youre beautiful. Itachi: Kisamethats the sweetest thing Ive ever heard-kisses- thank you.

Kisame: -smiles, hugsZakura: Blarg. Moving on. Orochimaru:... Sure you haven't. (Throws the Demonic Chibi-Mongooses into the room) Then you shouldn't have anything to fear from them. Kiba: Here is the National Pokedex Game Guide, that reveals EVERY SINGLE POKEMON KNOWN TO MAN! And a sack full of Rare Candy. How do you feel about becoming the next King of Games? (Gives him a Duel Disk, and a Dueling Deck) Zakura: Know any good Yuri hentai that you would recomend? Ed: I thought that you would have liked the fact that you kicked the crap out of your father in the Captain Planet one. Catch you next continue! Orochimaru: ACK!! Im not going anywhere near that room ever again! Theyre trying to find me! Kiba: Dude! I bet theyre attack Sasuke right now!! AWESOME!! OH DUDE!! POKEDEX!!! Shino: oh my god Kiba: Ehnot really into technologybut I bet this thing would make a bitchin Frisbee!! throwsAkamaru: ARFARFARF!!! Frisbee?! FRISBEE!!!- -catches and trots back to KibaKiba: Hey! Thats a good boy! Thats ano! I thought we werent friends anymore. Akamaru: ruuuuf. awwwww.Zakura: Ok! The next fight is Itachi VS. Kyuubi! Itachi: WHAT?! Kyuubi: All right. cracks neck- lets get this going. Itachi: MENGKYOU SHARINGAN!! -they are in the red and black world, Kyuubi is surrounded by femkyuubis and they are all more powerful than him, ready to beat him upItachi: So, what now, Kyuubi?

Kyuubi: -lifts head slowly, his gaze the last thing to rise, and his eyes stare at him with fiery, angry intensity. There is a pulse and suddenly Itachi is tied to a post, and his late clan members stand around him, ridiculing him, throwing rocks, stabbing him- What now? Now you deal with this for 48-hours you wanted us to be in here for. -a moment later back with the others, Itachi falls to his knees, shaking and disturbed, while Kyuubi stands tall, smirkingKyuubi: Im just way to powerful Itachi. Youre fucked. Itachi: Youll payhow dare you Kyuubi: Hold on, I need some space to launch my final attack. jumps backZakura: ItachiWINS!! Kyuubi: -freezes- what? Itachi: What? Zakura: Kyuubi rung out. There was always a designated space you know. Kyuubi: no. Zakura: Yeah. Kyuubi: FUCK YOU! I didnt want to be in your gay tournament anywayI got to chop up aslan so who cares Aslan: Ah, but Im a fucking god so I get to come back. sticks out tongue and runs awayKyuubi: FUCK!! Zakura: Man, its all good. smileEd: Dammit! I thought they hadnt noticed me! Fuck you! I dont want any part of this tournament! I dont trust them to really give me what I want in the end! Zakura: thats a completely valid concern. Expand on that after youre done fighting Shikamaru. Shikamaru: So troublesome. All-right sothere are pretty much no shadows hereeugh, Ill have to really fight Ed: All right, I guess I could use a stretch. Transmutes hand in a blade-

Shikamaru: aww, fuck this. I surrender! Ed: Thats boring!! Zakura: Well, after the first round no-ones allowed to forfeit but this is valid Shikamaru gives up! Ed move on! Ed: -sighs- but anyway, kicking my fathers ass is always goodbut still Itachi: Do you have your hair back? :D And is Kisame a) Only an Akatsuki partner b) a friend c) a lover for you? Tsunade: Do you like Tonton? And what was it like to be in the same team with Oro and sir pervert? And did you ever play poker when Sarutobi wasn't looking? Sakura: Are you ever going to forgive Kabuto? Cookies for EVERYONE!! ...And Sake for Tsunade... Itachi: No. Its growing back fucking SLOWLY. And heserr Kisame: I like to think Im all of the above. Itachi: After chopping up my dad? for a while Kisame: YOS!!! Zakura: NEXT FIGHT! ZABUZA AND LEE!! Zabuza: I have ONE HAND. Zakura: And Lee has no gen or nin jutsu, its fair. Lee: But I have YOUTH!! Zabuza: Do I really have to fight this annoying kid? Zakura: Stop whining, youve fought with NO hands before. Youre good. Zabuza: -rolls eyes- Lets go. Lee: YOOOOOOOOSH!!! Haku: -teehee-

Zabuza and Lee fight for a long time, mostly hand-to-hand; as Zabuza cant really do one-handed seals fast enough for his really complicated jutsu. Haku: OH NO!! Zabuza: -looks over immediatelyLee: -drop-kicks Zabuza in this moment of opportunity and knocks him out coldHaku: Oh phew, I still have the lavender nail polish left after alloh no did Zabuza-san lose? Everyone: face-palm. Tsunade: Yeah. Shes a great pet. Intelligent and hilarioussometimes shes better than Shizune. Heh. Are you kidding me? Sometimes Sarutobi joined in!! Except for strippoker, we made sure he wasnt around for thatand I dunno, it wasnt so bad for a time-sighs and drinks deeply from the sakeSakura: No. Hes a jerk-wad and I hate him. gobbles up cookiesI found the git who fired the syringe. (lifts up geek) what should I do with him? (geek pours a beaker full of a blue liquid on me)FUCK! OW!(sprouts wolf ears and angel wings) Hmm... I think i'll keep him. (Throws in the doctor from doctor who and his TARDIS) (throws in another giant hand and Seto Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh!) Who here like dragons? Itachi: If you dont want him Ill take him and abuse his powers. Deidara: Ill kill him yeah. -tardis crashes in the middles of the crowdDoctor: -steps out- Right thenhell knows where Ive gone and got myself this timeis it a bloody super-nova then? Sakura: OMG SEXY!! Doctor: Whos this lot? Naruto: Were ninja! Doctor: nnnoooIve been to feudal Japan and Im pretty sure they had ground and such Naruto: Well

Kiba: Were stuck in a fan-girl fanfic right now so Doctor: SHIT! Why didnt you warn me earlier?! This has happened before! I have to leave NOW before I meet a previous self and make out with him! Uh, so yeah, maybe if we catch up elsewhere well have tea or somethingbut Ive got to go now-zooms awayZakura: Pussy. Anyway, lets get the last three pre-lims out of the way. Next is Haku vs. Naruto! Naruto: shit. Haku: Well, weve been here before havent we? Kyuubi: Only this time I aint there to save his ass. Haku: thisll be so much fun!! Naruto: Yeahfun -So Naruto tries to fight without being to mean and Haku doesnt hold back at all and basically Naruto is so scared shitless of angering the re-awakening Zabuza that Haku beats him up pretty fastHaku: Naruto-kunI know you could have done better. Naruto: Without Zabuza glaring at me the whole time? Yeah I think so too Hinata: H-heres some of my ointment Naruto Naruto: thanks Hinata! Hinata: -blushZakura: NEXT FIGHT!! KURENAI VS. HINATA!! Kurenai: Shit!! Hinata: AHH! Theres no way Ill be able to beat Kurenai-sensei! Kurenai: Justdo your best. Youll be fine. -they fight, Kurenai holds back at first but after Hinatas first chakra-jamming stab to her chest she starts attacking harder, but Byakkugan helps Hinata avoid genjutsu and most of her ninjutsu require something to draw from besides empty space. Then one of Kurenais

bandages comes un-done, tripping her, and Hinatas chakra-charged fingers hit a supersensitive spot on her head which knocks her out coldZakura: Winner, HINATA!! Itachi: Looks like SOMEONE will be wearing proper pants from now on Kurenai: -dizzily getting to her feet- Fuck you. Zakura: That means the last battle is Gaara vs. Sakura!! do I even need to tell you who wins? After a basic fight, Gaara kicks ass, nuff said. Orochimaru: THRONE!! Heyhow come some things go to the room, and some come here? Zakura: If they just say its thrown in, it comes here, if they say they throw it into the room, it goes to the room. Orochimaru: Fair enoughaww dammit. The dogs on my throne. Akamaru: ARF RUFF!! who rule you now, bitches?!Seto: UghIm trapped in another one of my bad half-finished ideas for a video game arent I? I hate it when this happensoh well, Mokuba will come find me eventually why is there a chewed-on duel disk on the ground?! WHO DISREPECTS MY WORK?! Kiba: I do! And I bet I can beat you at your own game too! Seto: prove it Kiba: -take disk, loads it up- ITS TIME TO DUEL!! Naruto: Psssh, dragons arent real. Seto: I summon the blue-eye white dragon!! BEWD: ROAR!!!! Naruto: YEEP!!! HT: I dont want rabies again! they make me feel like a high squirrel... amber: and only you would know how that feels. HT: yeah. ok. i meant 10 but now im not so sure... that fanfic was really good. fem Kyuubi is awesome! amber: its better then male Kyuubi.

HT: have you read book 17 of fruits basket? if you havent, read it, and you will find otherwise. amber: she isnt lying. akito is a female, raised as a male, by her mother ren. its pretty wierd. Sasuke: -sneaks in and steals candyNeji: A high squirrel? Naruto: Theyre fucking scary Neji: You know this how? Naruto: -shudders- You dont wanna know. Lucifel: NOOOO!! Well, send me a Pm and tell me why so I can take some clues, k? Kyuubi: LIES!! Lies you little bitch!! Lucifel: Cam down. HT, have you read Summer Wind? If youre a Kyuubi fan I think youd like it. ^_^ Kyuubi: -fumesZakura: Next fight!! Akamaru VS. Kabuto!! Kabuto: -sighs- why am I getting all the easy fights? Akamaru: Growwwl, arf arf, -Ill show you whos easy buddyKabuto: jumps forward with chakra scapel outAkamaru cant dodge in time and gets hit- Like I saidtoo easy Akamaru: BARK!! JACKASS!!- -he jumps up, and bites his neck, scratching his face so he cant see for the stinging and trips him so he falls into the crowd and rings outZakura: Shit, the dog won again. Kabuto: WTF?! How did that happen? Kiba: HA! You dont animal biology well enough! You hit a totally empty spot!! DUMBASS!! Seto: wtf? Akamaru: Bark, arf, woof!! Haha! So whos easy now? Besides your mom!!-

Zakura: Anywayis that true about Akito? Weird-assI dont want him anymore. Itachi: Awwww -now back to the duelKiba: WTF?! YOU CAN USE TRAP CARDS ON THE OTHER PERSONS TURN?!?! Seto: why am I even doing thisoh yeah, cause I already won. Kiba: FUCK!! You didnt tell me all the rules!! Seto: I figured you werent that retardedMy mistake. Later loser-walks off all dramaticKiba: Where are you even going!! Seto: Wellusually I get home after winning a duelshit Kabuto: Ha! You were SO jealous during that make-out session! Kimimaro: Truthfully, I don't see how you can put up with him and his denseness/stubborness. Mystery box for your troubles? -hands over mystery boxItachi: You baka! -sticks tongue out- I'll hug Deidara instead! -hugs him- and just because of that Deidara gets a box of LIMITED-EDITION fraps! -gives Dei-kun frapsKabuto: WAS NOT!! Sakura: Stop moving so I can heal you, jackass Kabuto: I can heal myself Sakura: just shut up and sit still. Zakura: KIBA VS. SHINO!! Shino: Here we go Kiba: -stalks upShino: Kibaseriously, I dont want to fight you. Kiba: Well, right now I want to kick your ass so it evens out. Shino: I dont wanna hurt you Kiba! Kiba: You wont. Youre an asshole, Shino, youre not that much stronger than me

Shino: Without Akamaru youre weak! Kiba: -punches- lets just fight already!! Shino: fine. the bugs come outKiba: -growls, lunges, Shino dodges, but Kiba catches his arm, pulling him down, where they begin a tumbling match full of violence and sexual tension. Kiba squishes a lot of bugs, which pisses Shino off, so he starts dominating, which pisses Kiba off so he starts getting rougher and after a while no-ones sure if theyre fighting or having foreplayItachi: DamnShino wasnt kidding about the way Kiba screws Kisame: I think Im a little turned on Orochimaru: I know I AM!! Jira/Kabu/Kimi: -.Kiba: -pins Shino on the bottom, holds a kunai to his throat.- You lose. Shino: -kisses roughlyZakura: KIBA WINS!! Kiba: -sits up pantingShino: -sits up- so Kiba: Yeah. Shino: -leans against his shoulderKiba: -puts arm around his shoulders- Love you man. Shino: You too. Women in the room (not Zakura): Men-shake headsZakura: KIMIMARO VS. OROCHIMARU!! Orochimaru: Sorry to have to cut your time in the tournament so short. leans backKimimaro: Whawhat are you doing Orochimaru-sama?

Orochimaru: Eh? WellI figured you wouldnt wanna fight me. Being my little servant and looking up to me so much and not being half my strength and all Kimimaro: Iwhat.HOW DARE YOU?! Orochimaru: Huh? Kimimaro: How dare you think Im so simple!! Youre supposed to be the one that knows me the best! Orochimaru-samaHow could you think that? I want to fight my hardestespecially against you!! Thats really proving myself! Orochimaru: Ohwellbut Kimimaro Kimimaro: Orochimaru-sama, please. Orochimaru: Ugh, -sighs- Finegod Kimi, I thought I could get an easy winshit Kimimaro: -stalks up to the battle-ring silentlyKabuto: GO KIMI!!! Orochimaru: HEY!! Kabuto: Ergo Oro-sama Gaara: KICK HIS ASS KIMI!!!! Kimimaro: Please dont go easy on me Orochimaru-sama Orochimaru: Yeah, yeah-rolls shouldersKimimaro: -charges-A vicious battle breaks out, Orochimaru pulls his sword and uses it against Kimis bones, breaking several, and at one point cutting off Kimis pony-tail. Kimi is suffering, but holding strong, doing his best, spinning his beautiful bone dancem eventually Orochimaru is put in enough of a jam that he Orochimaru: SUMMON!! Manda: ABOUT FUCKING TIME!! WHERE IS THE DOG-BRAT?!?!?! Kiba: SHIT!! runs awayManda: -chases- ILL TEACH YOU TO SEAL ME IN A FUCKING CARD!!!

Orochimaru: shit Kimimaro: -launches a massive kick to his chest, stabbing him with his heel bone at the same time, and Orochimaru collapsesJiraiya: -catches Orochimaru and stabilizes his bleeding until Sakura has to run over and heal him too because Kabuto is too busy running over to Congratulate KimimaroKabu/Gaa: KIMI!!! THAT WAS AMAZING!! YOURE SO AWESOME!!! GLOMPSZakura: Yeah, yeah Kimimaros the winnerwant this mystery box? Kimimaro: Oh, sureand dont feel bad for me. Hes worth it. Kabuto: -blushKimimaro: -pulls out a emerald green potion- hmmI guess Ill save this Deidara: YAY!! Fraps yeah!! Itachi: -twicth, twitchturns to reviewer- Want hugs? Ahaaha! it took me three days to read this O.O Everyone : Dont you guys worry about how the ninja world is in right now? i mean 99.99% of the important people either in this room, or being held hostage by another fan. Itachi: Irish cream or bourbon? Sakura: Only three days? Damn Zakura: You thought it was worth it? Sakura: -smack- the fans are the only ones keeping this place livable Zakura: whatever. ED VS. LEE!! Lee: YOSH!! THE POWER OF YOUTH COMPELS YOU TO LOSE!!! Ed: that doesnt even make sense. And after the earlier disappointment this should be fun. transmutes hand- LETS GO!!! Lee: YOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!! fiery eyes- I SHALL VANQUISH THE SHORT ONE!! Ed: dont.callmeSHOOOOOORT!!!! fiery eyesTHERE IS A BIG ANGRY BATTLE!!! WHEEEEEEE!!

Finally Ed: -slaps palm against Lees shin, and transmutes his weight into a much denser, large lead substance, Lee is immobilized and Ed punches him out cold with his metal handDAMN THAT FELT GOOD!! Zakura: Winner, Ed! Fuck, cross-over people getting all this gloryasshole Ed: yeah! What are you gonna do about it?! HAHA!! Lets see any fangirl try to get me again!! Sakura: The thing ismost of the villains are here too sowere mostly ok. Itachi: IRISH CRAM!! The Irish ROCK!! Zakura: That was really fast, lets have Tsunade and Itachi fight next. Tsunade: You wont last Itachi: How do you figure? Tsunade: Because I have a power you can neither comprehend nor appreciate. Itachi: -snort- that being? Tsunade: The powerOF BOOBS!!! Strikes menacing poseJiraiya: -droolsItachi: NOOOOO!!! CowersTsunade: -beats his ass as he tries desperately to avoid the bewbs.Zakura: TSUNADE WINS!! Oro/Jira: DAMMIT!! Tsunade: -sticks out tongueKiba : (no comments please) since bodily fluids are exchanged, you can get rabies through sex. Check with the CDC or U.N. centers for disease controlif you do not beleive me. And bats then cats were the two biggest transmiters for North America last year. Kabuto : for some reason I feel I started this way back when ... so here is one token that will get you out of one dare or physical punishment. Use it wisely.

Sakura : I give you a token like I just gave Kabuto. Itachi: Dudewho the fuck was making out with bats and cats? Tsunade: -punchesItachi: YOU ALREADY KICKED MY ASS ALREADY!!! Tsunade: -shrugs- for good measure. Orochimaru: Its not fair!! She got further than me!! Jiraiya: You BOTH suck!! Were a trio! We should go down at the same level. Tsunade: Lies. Kabuto: OMG!!! This is awesome!! Zakura: Next!! HAKU VSHinata? Everyone: Dude. Oo Hinata: B-but I dont wanna hurt Haku! Haku: I dont wanna hurt Hinata!! Hina/Haku: Waaaaaaah!!! Zakura: YOURE NINJA!!! FIGHT GODAMMIT!!! breathes fireKyuubi: You can do that? Zakura: If I need to. Haku/Hina: -get up and start fighting. They use only basic jutsu and soft combat moves. So as to out-manuever but not hurt each other.a lot of flowers and rainbows and kitties randomly float by as they giggle occasionally, and spin around a lot.Haku: NOOOOO!!! Hinata: -gasp- whatd I do? Haku: Mynail polish! And I was all out of that color!! sobsHinata: WAAAAH!! Im so sorry!!! I feel so awful!! I GIVE UP!! HAKU DESERVES TO WIN!!! sobs with him-

Zakura: WINNER! HAKU!! Haku: Yay! holds victory signKisame: -twitch- so help me if that was his plan all along. Zabuza: THATS MY HAKU!! runs and hugs- So cunning, you little devil!! Haku: heh? Sakura: -gets coin- Oh, thanks! This is great! hi! I feel so much better now! and...Wingo is...um...currently indisposed...so he won't be with us this week! Wingo: -from room elsewhere in the house- I heard that! you gave me your cold! 1. ooh! are you guys in an alternate dimension?! take this! you'll need it to survive! -forks over what looks like a gameboy but it has tons more buttons- it's a special navigator thingy that can help you go wherever in an alternate dimension. and it toasts bread! 2. hmm...should I help Neji with his cold? nah. I don't think there's anything embarrassing enough I could make him do. 3. Umm...I don't believe you really love someone if you're not willing to die for them... -The Muffinator 3 Kabuto: Wow, surprisingly the navigator is showing that there is the amount of interest in all directionsNONE!! throws Navigator down but it just kind of stops softly and does not breakso he stomps on itNeji: HA! Well Im already better bitch!! Naruto: But you still have herpes. Neji: I DO NOT!! Naruto: LIES!!! Neji: YOU LIE!! Zakura: Ok, there are seven people left. Well have two one-on-one fights, and one oneon-one-on-one fight, and then the last battle will be a three-way too I guessOK!! FIRST UP!! KIBA VS. AKAMARU!! Kiba: WHAT?! ducks just in time to avoid Manda-

Akamaru: -nods solemnly and steps up- ARF!! MY FRIEND!!- Bark, bark, woof, growl, arf, arf, BOW WOW!! Let us fight like equals, and with respect, and have the greatest battle we ever shall!!Zakura: MANDA!! Stop trying to eat Kiba!! Kiba: butbut youre my dogmy comrade Manda: HE SEALED ME IN A CARD!!! Akamaru: Arf. I know.- bark, bark, yap! but this was bound to happen one day. Let us face it like warriors!Zakura: Thats no excuse! This fight is more important! Kiba: Arent you being a little over-dramatic, Akamaru? Manda: THE HELL IT IS!! Akamaru: bark. maybe a littleZakura: DONT MAKE ME PUT YOU IN A POKEBALL!! Kiba: Lets do this then!! Manda: -shut up and curls around Orochimaru, sulkingKiba and Akamaru go to the battle field and begin battle!! Kiba and Akamaru chase each other in circles, and attack with claw and tooth and very little jutsu and finally in the end, because I cant think of anything big to happen in the middle, Akamaru stands victorious!! Zakura: This is re-goddamn-diculous. FINE! AKAMARU WINS!! Akamaru: BARK, ARF!! a good fight my friend!!Kiba: -more than a little humiliatedOrochimaru: You can love a person without being willing to die for them. I mean, I bet you have friends you wouldnt die for. Deidara: YEAH! Tsunade: No, I can understand MAYBE not dying for friendship, but for love? No, thats a person youd die for.

Orochimaru: What do you know? Tsunade: Fuck off. (background is filled with fluffy clouds lined with gold in front sits me suronded by sexy winged men) MiniDeath:(sips random drink) I'm on cloud 9 bitches! (random winged man steps forward) Winged Man: due to her being on cloud 9 she is in a state of pure joy and will not be disturbed but that doesn't mean she doesn't have questions today. Kyuubi: if you were never a demon do you think you would still be strong? Orochimaru: i dare you to make out with jirayia Lucifel: I give you-Hey! we didn't agree to this!! MiniDeath: (looks up from drink) thats funny it just sounded like you had an opinion. now move it! (that winged man plus 10 others appear in lucifels room) MiniDeath Sakura: Oh myMini Kurenai: Cloud nine is only fun for so long really Itachi: Yes, youre divorced, we get it, stop whining Kurenai: -flips fingerKyuubi: thats a gay question. If I wasnt a demon I wouldnt beme Zakura: Who cares? ED VS. KIMI VS GAARA!! Ed: HELL YEAH!! Gaara: vsKimi? Kimimaro: Well thatsironic. Just dont kill me again, ne? Gaara: Uh, sure Ed: Lets go you bishie bastards, Im SO ready to kick your ass!! Gaara: No, enough out of you. sand-coffins his auto-mailEd: WTF?!?! Kimimaro: -smacks him with some boneshehe-

Ed: errgggfuck. Zakura: EDOUT!! The battle will continue with Kimi and Gaara!! Kimi and Gaara fight a long, hard battle, with lots of dodging and flipping and attacking and all sorts of fun nonsense until Kimimaro: STOP. Gaara: Eh? Kimimaro: Youre holding back Gaara: Iwell, Kimi I dont want to hurtI mean, winning means so much to you Kimimaro: No. Proving myself does. I can do that without winning. If you can beat me, beat me. Fight like you mean it, like a ninja. Gaara: -smiles- Sorry, right. -They start again, all the more dramatic, all the more intense. They run out of chakra, and fight only with fists. Finally they both stand panting, breathless, facing each other intensely, finally they crash together, punch each other hard, and both fall down unconsciousZakura: Well, ITS A DRAW!! Orochimaru: Awww Kabuto: Woah Lucifel: Yay!! Winged men!! runs to roomOrochimaru: uh, ok! jumps or jiraTsunade: About damn time too Sakura: You mean this has been going on for a while? Tsunade: Basically. Your clothes must be tight Dei-kun! (tosses in clothes that can change into any kind of clothes that you think of) Deidara: YES!! That means I get a new dress and fishnet tights!!

Itachi: oh my god Zakura: HAKU VS. TSUNADE!! Tsunade: Ok listen, Im sick of all the crappy drama going on here so lets just fight and get it over with, ok? Haku: OK!! Tsunade: Especially since this battle will be decided with one finger Haku: Yep. charges forwardTsunade: -flicks fingerHaku: -jumps back last second and shoots a needle straight up her fingerTsunade: FUCK!! Haku: -kicks in head, knocks over.Zakura: HAKU WINS!! Tsunade: WTF?!?!?! Zakura: Yep . Muwahahaha, this is great. Holy hell... I read the entire 46 chapters over a course of three and a half days.Kurenai, stop being so skillet happy. You can't blame Jiraiya, can you? I mean, you ARE pretty damn sexy! Give the guy a break. Anyways...QUESTIONS! 1. Sakura- Remember during the survival test Kakashi told you to kill Naruto or else Sasuke would die? Would you have done it if the situation was real? 2. Naruto- If you could get the kyuubi out of you, but had to give up ramen, would you do it? 3. I dare Kurenai and Hinata to dress up like schoolgirls and make out! *hands Zakura a camrea so she can take pictures* (I so got your back!) I know it's a little long, but this is 46 chapters worth of thoughts here! Peace out, you guys! *holds up peace sign to everyone, waves at Hinata, Kurenai, Zakura* Zakura: FINAL BATTLE AKAMARU VS. HAKU!! Naruto: With all these ninjahow did that happen?

Akamaru: Arf, yapyap, bark, woof yap bark!! You have fought well, little needle boy, but today is the day I step up and win for all dog-kind!!Haku: KYAAAAA!! KAWAAII PUPPY!! Akamaru: a-arf? w-what?Haku: PUPPY!! runs forward with arms out in hugging fashionAkamaru: bark yap woof!! II cant ATTACK against such a non-lethal approach what do I do?!?!?!?!Haku: PUPPYYYYY!!!! hugs tightlyAkamaru: arf.arf -cant.breath- -faintsZakura: By power of hugging, HAKU IS THE WINNER OF THE TOURNAMENT!!!!!!! Everyone: oh my god. Zakura: Ok, while he decides what he wants, well do the last questions Sakura: I have no idea!! II Kabuto: Probably would have stood there until one of them died. Sakura: HATE YOU!!! Naruto: ARE YOU INSANE?!?!? HELL NO I WOULDNT!!!!! Zakura: Just kiss, its cool. Kurenai: -gagging at the outfit- NO VIDEO!! Zakura: Fiiine. -They kiss, Zakura takes a snapshotKurenai: Hate you so much Haku: OK!! Wields both swords- I want me and all the other ninja to be back in the room, and I want everything to be how it was in the beginning, including physical appearances!! Everyone: WAIT!!

Haku: -slashes with both sword and suddenly they are in a blank four-room wall and everyone looks exactly as they did when they got there.Itachi: MY HAIR!!! YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAY!!! Sakura: Dammit! I liked that outfit better!! Orochimaru: SASUKES GOOOONE!!!! sobsZabuza: -flexes hand- awesome. Tsunade: THE SAKE POOL IS GONE!!! ragesHaku: Maybe I should have re-thought thatheh, whoops. Zakura: Well, now you just have two bad-ass sword one that sucks life from your opponent and one that heals you. Youre good. Haku: YAY!! Lucifel: Im so sorry it was late. I was busy, and this chapter took SUPER LONG. This is thing is literally twice the normal length. Im sure theres typos EVERYWHERE. BUT HEY!!! MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!! TODAY!! Or somethingAnyway yeah!! IM SEVENTEEN AND THE LEGAL AGE OF CONSENT IN MISSOURI AS OF SEPTEMBER 27 2007!!! WOOOOOOT!!!!!! Meanwhile, back in the blank place Ed/Seto: Ummmhellloooo?shit. Lucifel: Next chapter is basically starting fresh!! Exciting!! See you then!! Happy Birthday to me-whistles merrily-

Ask Sakura 45 Lucifel: You know, I just realized Ask Sakura is over the hillhehoh, and so I wanted to make something birthday-themed for this chapter. Everyone: -flinches-

Lucifel: But I couldnt really think of anything that would work. So, well just move on. Everyone: -relieved sighHaku: Awwww, I wanted to have a party. Zabuza: Were throwing a gaddamn party. Tsunade: With what? Everythings GONE. Zabuza: Well find a way. Itachi: Hey, since my hairs back, shouldnt Kisame have to leave? Kisame: -clings onto Itachi- NOOO!!! I WONT LEAVE!!! Itachi: -sighs- dammit Deidara: I want Kisame to stay too yeah!! hugs KisameLucifel: Cool, thats ok with me. Sakura: Because its not like this place is crowded or anything. Lucifel: I promise, I wont bring anymore people in. Sakura: youre lying arent you? Lucifel: Yeaaaaaah. OH! And also, Summer Wind now has over 100 reviews!! WOOOOT!!! Kyuubi: My sexiness is just so damn attractive. smirkHAPPY BIRTHDAY! *gives a HUGE cake* Well I promised a prize to whoever kicked The Sailor Scouts ass... and as Sakura was the first person to speak after Yoda killed them.. -gives Sakura a pendant- This pendant allows you to absorbs peoples powers... even Kyuubis and Zakuras... Hmm, I have a question who there hasnt had some sort of traumatic child-hood? And isn't it kind of messed up that Konoha let you grow up on you own Naruto... I mean you were only a little brat? -Throws in AnkoJune x Lucifel: thank you!! eats cake-

Zabuza: GIVE ME THAT!! Lucifel: No! Its my black-forest cake!! Kurenai: CHOCOLATE!! Lucifel: Oh screw this. lets them have itZabuza/Kurenai: -have a massive fight over it during which time Akamaru and Kiba steal it and go eat it in a cornerSakura: Haha!! YES!! Kyuubi: I dont think so bitch. Sakura: -grabs arm- I will absorb your powers and then everyone will answer to ME!! Not you!! Kyuubi: Right, that little thing will absorb my powers IF and ONLY if you manage to breaks through the defenses around my powerswhich are definitely tougher than you. Sakura: MAN!! Kyuubi: Fox, actually. Sakura: -glaresEveryone: -silenceShino: Well, my childhood was going ok until I walked in on my parents Kiba: Oh, hated it when I saw my parents having sex! Shino: Well, mine were performing a satanic ritual with a bunch of other people while, yes, having sex Kiba: Damn. And I thought catching my Dad whacking it to bestiality porn was bad. Neji: DUDE!! No one needed to hear about that! Kiba: Oh please, dont pretend theres anything you wouldnt screw Neji: -gives fingerNaruto: Yeah, just a little.

Orochimaru: Oh plz, you cant pull of intelligent sarcasm. Give it up. Sakura: -sneakily pokes Orochimaru- teeheehee Orochimaru: Ohwhy do I suddenly feel like I know a lot less Jutsu? Anko: Maybe its brain damage from being hereI cant believe Im back this sucks. Happy birthday Lucifel! And does that mean that you're uh...an adult? Damn it!! No Sasuke!! TT_TT And no Ed-chan... Tsunade: Did Sarutobi ever catch you thre playing strip poker? And who won whenever you guys played? Oh, and I'll give you sake. Haku: Congrats for winning ^^ as a gift, I'll give you a nailpolish set with every possible kind of nailpolish! ...Or just nailpolish that can change color into any you want... Itachi: Yess! Your beautiful hair!! Can I braid it?! I'll give you fraps. -Throws in couches enough to fit everyone- Standing or sitting on the floor must get tiring, so there you go! And blankets and pillows too. We don't want you to get sick, do we? Lucifel: Nah, it means I can have sex with those over 21. Zakura: Which youll never do. Lucifel: Well of course, I write about whores cause Im NOT one Zakura: no, I meant everyone hates you. Lucifel: Bitch. Tsunade: Thank god, no. He might have tried to joinpervusually Oro won-poutsOrochimaru: We should play again now!! Tsunade: how much you got on you? Orochimaru: A couple thousand Tsunade: Youre on. Jiraiya!! Jiraiya: But you PUNCH when you start to loose.and you ALWAYS loose Tsunade: Well Ill kick too if you dont play. Jiraiya: -sighs and slumps overZakura: So Ankowanna screw?

Anko: no thanks, I just came from Shizunes Im good. Saku/Tsu/Zaku: -twitchy horrorHaku: YAY!! Zabuza: -nods approvinglyItachi: FRAP!!! grabs greedilyGaara: -pokes hole in the bottom and lies underneath with his mouth openItachi: Sure, go ahead. Dei and I used to do each others hair all the time Deidara: kyaaa! We should right now! Itachi: YEAH!! -they skip offEveryone: COUCHES!! Zabuza: -grabs one for him and Haku where they sit cuddling, and every grabs one, until theres only one left for Kabuto and Sakura.Sakura: Dammitand his powers arent worth sapping Kabuto: Oh fuck you. pulls a blanket up to his chinHeh-he. look what I found (shows chaos emerald) I'll use it to suck all the knowledge out of the geek then toss him in so you do what you want to him. (sucks out geeks knowledge and shoots syringes into Deidara and Itachi which inject pink liquid into them)For Deidara it makes the muscle growth serum permanent and gives him the ability to change his appearance. Same with Itachi, with added muscle growth serum. Jiraiya: Hey, Kabuto, you could use the nerd for your little games right? Kabuto: fuck off-sulksKiba: -kicks nerdDeidara: NONONONONONONONO!!! I DONT WANNA BE BULKY!! Shikamaru: Well.you wont be

Deidara: huh? Shikamaru: Well, it would make it permanent but it was already out of you soyoure good. Just dont get shot-up again. Itachi: Same for me?! Shikamaru: No, she added muscle-growth serum to yours so.youre screwed. Itachi: Dammit. bulks upDeidata: You look straighteww, yeah. Itachi: Dammit. Kisame: I still think youre sexy. Lucifel: DUDE!! WE HAVE PILLOWS NOW!! PILLOW-FIGHT!! Zakura: no, thats fruity. Lucifel: ITS MY BIRTHDAY AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE A GODDAMN PILLOW-FIGHT!!! Zakura: -smack Kiba as hard as she can across the face with a pillow.Anko: -tackles Tsunade with a pillowHAPPY BIRTHDAY Neji-kun! *gives plushie maker kit* now you shall never get caught with a plushie of someone else when a randomer comes over HAS ANYONE HEARD THE JUTSU SONG? -makes it play continuously without an off buttonEverythings gone? *looks shocked* -gives Kabuto another pair of Elton John specs* Coz you know you can't do without Lucifel: THANK YOU!!! Neji: Dude! Right-on! gets beans by a throw-pillow to the eye.- FUCK!! KIBA!!! Kiba: No! Dont fuck Kiba! smack with pillow againNaruto: -smacks Gaara in the ass with pillowItachi: -smacks Gaaras asswith his hand-

Gaara: GAH! NO! jumps into Lees armsLee: -smacks with pillowGaara: hate you Lee: -adorable goofy grinGaara: -blushes and cuddles as Naruto beans them both over their heads againSakura: Oh goddammitfucking music Kyuubi: -twitchManda: -tries smothering Kiba with a pillowOrochimaru: Mandaplay nice Manda: No. Orochimaru: Manda. Dont make me send you to your room. Manda: Fuck you old man. Kabuto: Oh thank god. I was really gonna miss those Sakura: -hits Kabuto in the back of the head so hard his glasses fly off and shatterHeehee, whoops.guess I dont know my own strength-innocent smileKabuto: -tacklesI can't really think of any questions at the moment, so I'll do this instead! (Opens up a portal) With this Portal, you can go into the other Ask fics, to see how different they are from yours! Well, I DID think up one question for everybody. What do you consider to be your catchphrase? Oh, and Happy Birthday, Lucifel! Oh, almost forgot. (Snatches away Chaos Emerald that UntamedDragon revealed) This will be PERFECT for making Metal Sasuke more powerful... Okay, Bye! For real this time! Itachi: -pokes his head inDeidara: -hits with pillow so he falls all the way through-

Kisame: Will hecome back Deidara: hope so, yeah Kisame: -attacks with pillowItachi: -comes back gasping- ITWASHORRIBLE!!! Orochimaru: Was the writing terrible?! Deidara: -escaping Kisame- Were they torturing us all the worse, yeah?! Kisame: Did they make you not sexy?! Itachi: Nonowe were allall-starts crying a little- I.I cant say it Deidara: What is it, yeah? Were here for you. Itachi: We wereSTRAIGHT!!! Dei/Oro/Kisa: -GASP IN HORRORJira/Tsu: -catapult pillows at them and knock them over- YOSH!! Anko: -pillow-tackles KurenaiKurenai: NO!! I TOLD YOU NEVER AGAIN!! Anko: Too damn bad honey!! Zakura: Who even has a catch Naruto: DATTEBAYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not fucking believe it Lee: YOSH! YOUUUUUUTH!!!! Gaara: -face-palmsItachi: Gaaras catchphrase is his glare, heh. Mine is Its Just Incest Deidara: Teeheehee Lucifel: Oh god, the fans are interacting againthis could be dangerous Kyuubi: Bitch! Stop trying!!

Sakura: I want power dammit!! Kabuto: -steals pendant- What now?! Sakura: GRAR!! tacklesTsunade: I was afraid she might get power-hungry eventually oh well-smack Jiraiya in the stomach with a pillow*Kisses Lucifiel in a romantic, and sexual fashion* Everyone: I don't see why lot -try- to escape so hard. I mean, as soon as you do -I'm- just going to capture you instead. Just wiating for Lucifiel to be done with you. Kabuto: Today's torture is Monkey Stick poke. *Sets an invincible monkey on his head. It pokes him in his head with a stick* Kyuubi: Fucking Aslan..Anything -else- you want as a reward while I hunt that fucking lion down? P.S. *Tosses in a clone of himself, only in his Emperor clothes, rathar then Samurai, and with a crazy smile* Someone cloned me, and made it crazy. Not sure why. Someone kill him for me? There's rewards in it. And don't worry, he's only -half- as strong as Kyuubi. Lucifel: thank you love!! kisses backZakura: Slut. Lucifel: -sticks out tongueforgetting that she was kissing Jaden so inadvertently starts sexy French kissingheheZakura: -face-palms- And for your info Jaden, as soon as a fangirl relinquishes her ownership of characters even if another fan takes them it doesnt count so screw you. Kyuubi: Besides, you cant get me, Im too badass. Lucifel: -whispers- nah, dont let em psyche you out, youll get em. Kabuto: what? Sakura: haha! Youre getting poked by a MONKEY!! Kabuto: Im using my get-out-of-shit free tokenNOW. stops getting pokedSakura: well I want my pendant back!! Tsunade: -smacks in the face- Hey! None of that! Sakura: -blinks a few times- ohyesyes maamsorry

Tsunade: -sighs- -gets hit in the head with Oros pillowKyuubi: YeahA keg of rum. Jiraiya: RUM!!!! Kyuubi: None for you, fat-ass. Jiraiya: -pouts--chucks pillow and hit Kyuubis shoulderKyuubi: Ass hole. Lucifel: Dude! Husband clone! Kyuubi: -sits back as they all start attacking the clone, getting beat back all the whileSakura: Kyuubi help us!! Kyuubi: Why should I? Sakura: Because you hate the fans! And this is the closest to kill one youll get! Kyuubi: Okgood point Haku: Teehee, no worries. The soul swords took care of it. Kyuubi: Well fuck I guess Ill just have to kill all of you! Itachi: Try it! Weve got pillows!! Kyuubi: -grabs two pillows- Well Im dual-wielding, bitch. Everyone: -runs around screamingHappy birthday! You live in Missouri? My friend moved their a couple of years ago, YAY~! Saku: Well seeing as you deserve something good happening, you can have those clothes back. -Gives another set of clothesAll: Anyone got any requests of what you'd like thrown in? Lucifel: thanks! And yeah, I live in Missouri. I like it where I live even if the Midwest can be a little dull Sakura: YES!! gets changedKiba: Ok, how are people getting changed without getting naked?!

Sakura: Dont fight it! Just let it happen!! Itachi: Are you raping him now!? Sakura: SCREW YOU!! Kyuubi: -pelts Naruto violently with his pillowsAnko: SOMEONE SEXY!! Kurenai: I thought you werent in the mood?! Anko: You know that never lasts more than three minutes with me Kurenai: -.--smacks with pillowHT: ok... clues... um... amber: it had difficult words she didnt understand. HT: summer wind? im only a fem kyuubi fan. but im gonna find it and read it. amber: ok. i captured shizune and locked her in the bathroom. i have hyuuga hiashi in my torture chamber, along with Gerard Way. and i think kakashi was lured into the underwater dungeon. who do you want in there, and who should i kill? Itachi: Teehee, fans are dumb. Deidara: -hits with pillow- you cant talk, yeah. Itachi: Obviously youre the dumb one too since Im talking RIGHT NOW. Deidara: good point, yeah. Kyuubi: BITCH!! charges Ht and hits computer screen- Ill get youIll get you Neji/Hina: NOT HISASHI!! Itachi: KILL THEM ALL!! Anko: KAKASHI!! KYAA!! HES SO ADORABLE!! Kiba: But hes a zombie now!! Anko: WTF? Naruto: ITS TRUE!!

Tsunade: You keep the paper-work happy bitch away from me. This is vacation time. Jiraiya: What a great vacation-rolls eyesSakura: I thought you liked Shizune? Tsunade: When shes not on about paper-workwhich is never Happy B-Hoo, Lucifel! Good work, Zabuza. (Holds out metal hand). It supercharges chakra, so any hand signs done with it produce triple-strength jutsu. It also has faux skin to hide it. Poor silly Itachi. He can take down jonin and Orochimaru with relative ease, but he can't take his dad's harsh words. (Gives silly Itachi an autumn-only pumpkin spice frappucino). (Blasts Shika with magical energy) I love it when you do the plothole thing, so you can do that again. (Gives Jiraiya and Orochimaru T-shirts that say 'You Got Boned', and gives Kimi a Tshirt that says 'Massive Boner'.) Itachi: B-Hoo? Whatta hick. Orochimaru: SNEAK-PILLOW ATTACK!! drops on Jiraiya and the tumble to the groundZabuza: SWEET-ASS!! chops off hands again and attatches the new oneHaku: You did that fast Zabuza: This hand is bad-ass. Why wouldnt I? Haku: What if I dont like it? puppy eyesZabuza: -tries to rip it offHaku: Teehee, no, I like it. Zabuza: Ohok. hugswhaps with pillowHaku: jerk! hits with pillow and they start violently pillow-bashingand then making outItachi: Poor silly Itachi MY ASS!! YAY FRAP!! gulpsGaara: -tackles to get FrappucinoOrochimaru: Oh this takes me back in the day. beams-

Shikamaru: -smoothing his magic-blasted hair- umm, thank you, but since we were all put back to normal that was already the case. Which is why I could bring up the Deidara thing. Oro/Jira: Orochimaru: -snicker- I get it. puts it on happilyJiraiya: no Tsunade: -cracking up- Cmon, put it on! Jiraiya: I dont want Tsunade: NOW!! flamesJiraiya: Eep. puts onKimimaro: Ummthats a little Kiba: HILARIOUS!! WEAR IT DUDE!! Kimimaro: -rolls eyes and puts onLucifel: IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY!?!?...well i guess it was perfect timing for those winged men right? anyway since it is/was your b-day I hope you have/had a good one and continue to grace the internet with you kick ass stories and such. Also i dare everyone to get a sex change for the rest of the chapter and Lucifel gets to choose what you wear. Happy Birthday! MiniDeath. P.S.(throws in some random band that Lucifel likes) Lucifel: Aww, thats the sweetest birthday wish yet, thank you! And yesyes it was..leans back as the men massage herEveryone: Wait, what? -GENDERS CHANGED!!!!Kabuto: Oh COME ON!! I was just fixed!! Sakura: this is so uncomfortable. Shifts weightKiba: -pokes boob- dude I just turned myself on.

Shino: -rolls eyesNaruto: Gaarayou look good as a girl. Gaara: -hits with pillowLee: YOSH! EVEN AS A WOMAN I AM YOUTHFUL!!!!! Gaara: -pulls over to hide behind himLucifel: The guys are wearing their usual outfits only altered into skirts. And the opposite for girls. And oka bandLORDI!! Kiba: Lordi? Massive bio-mechanic man behind him: LORDI, bitch. Kiba: -turns around, meeps, and scuttles awayThe band begins to play their angry heavy metal music and everyone continues pillowfightingwoot! thats awesome lucifel, my birthday is 10 days after yours...cept ill be 18 ha! anyhoo. what are y'alls views on abortion, just curious. love the story, peace out home skillets. Lucifel: AWESOME!! HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!! Ad thanks. Lordi: -sings the Devil is A Loser and Hes My BitchLucifel: I find that song slightly offensive, but Lordis awesome so its okay. Zakura: Waityoure offeded by a song because its about the devil? Lucifel: No, because it calls the devil a LOSER. I am certainly not. Zakura: ok Anko: YEAH FOR ABORTION!! WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE!! Kurenai: Ack! No! Every life is precious! Itachi: Bull SHIT. Were you there when Dad visited? Kurenai: butbut

Hinata: I think its wrong too Haku: I think it should be a womans choice. Orochimaru: Fuck, if a lady wants to abort her kid she should be able to! And until the kid can fight back its too damn bad if its rather live!! -and as usual with politicsthey all eventually break down into a sharp, name-calling argument with everyone taking sides and ostracizing the other sideLucifel: Fuck this and lets keep up the pillow-fight. -it starts againLordi: -smacks Kiba with a flaming pillowoh, you guys shoud have asked Haku what he was going to say first. Jiraiya get away from Orochimaru while you can!Tsunade is so much better for you. Tsunade would you take Jiraiya? Kurenai you were married O.O you seem like the single/lesbian type. Itachi: Nah, this has done more good than bad. strokes hairKabuto: -looks sadly at glassesSakura: dear god, wtf? I just got a boner for no reason!! Kiba: It happensin fact Id usually have one by nowI miss my dick Shino: I miss your dick too. Kiba: -smilesJiraiya: But shes so mean!! At least Oros just clingy!! Tsunade: NO! Hes an ass!! I hate him!! Orochimaru: People, peoplewe should just have a threesome!! Tsunade: NO! NEVER AGAIN!! Everyone else: AGAIN?!?! Jira/Tsu: -blushing furiously in embarrassmentOrochimaru: Yup. It was fun. beam-

Deidara: I bet, yeah!! Wallops with pillow- invite me to the next one!! Kurenai: I AM NOT LESBIAN!! Anko: and its such a SHAME!! clingsKurenai: Im a man right now, you shouldnt like me anymore!! Anko: I dont care, Youre still sexy. Kurenai: You just get a kick out of sleeping with the same gender as you. Anko: Uh-huh. Ceyx:HI MOMMY!! wait, you're seventeen? so much for the whole, "I existed before time began" sorta thing. So how old were you when you gave birth to me? Ashlynn: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Can I come visit you? I wish Anko was there, that sexy beast...Oh wait I'm a reviewer! *throws in anko* Ceyx: So I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I have a date for HomecomingAshlynn: So who's the lucky guy? Ceyx: I will KILL you. The bad news is that I've never gone before and need some advice on what to do. Ashlynn: Hinata, you're such a wuss for giving up like that! I mean *is muffled by a hand* MPH Ceyx: I will Effing kill you! DO. NOT. EVER. INSULT. HINATA-CHAN! Lucifel: Oh nonono, this INCARNATION of me is seventeen. I live lots of human lives for fun. This is just my latest. One of my favorites, I must say. I have anime. smilesAnko: Ive already been thrownwtf?! Anko2: -walks in- what the fuck? Do I know you peopleor your franternal othergendered twin? HOLY SHIT MALE ME!! Anko: WHAT THE HELL?!! Anko2: Thats the sexiest male Ive ever seenmerow. Anko: -twitches- Damn you no! Were lesbian! Anko2: Then whos the guy youre with?! Anko: KURENAI!!

Anko2: kinky hotDUDE!! PILLOW FIGHT HELL YEAH!! Itachi: yay! Gay fans!! Deidara: sadly, I dont think hes actually gayyeah Itachi: Aww dammit. Well grats anyway, I guess. Sakura: Good for you. Very happy for you! I hope you have fun!! The only thing is Ninja dont really have homecomings so I have no clue what to tell you. Kurenai: Basic advice for a date though? Be courteous and chivalrous as if it was no big deal, go out of your way without making it obvious. DONT cling to her side every second, if she wants to talk to friends, let her, but dont think she has the right to ignore you. Orochimaru: And if you play up the whole deal you just might get laid in the end!! Deidara: Make sure you know how to dance, yeah! Or at the very least can make people laugh about it. (not at, yeah) Kiba: YEAH YOU LITTLE BITCH!! NO MAKING FUN OF HINATA DAMMIT!! Kurenai: -glaresLucifel: Daughter, you be good. You know better. Hinata: Uhumthanks Ceyx? Naruto: -sneak-attacks Hinata with pillowKiba/Shin/Kure: GRAR!! HOW DARE YOU!! Naruto: -eepSakura: I bestow upon you the mystical power of Tohru from Fruits Baskets. (Whenever you hug a guy they turn into an animal). Have fun! Shikamaru: If you HAD to pick either Temari or Ino to save from dieing, who (out of the two) would you save? -Sheesh. I's hard trying to make questions loophole-proof. Sakura: What? That sucks-tackles TsunadeTsunade turns into a lionessJiraiya: Why not a slug?! Sakura: But shesoh yeah, the gender-changing thing

Zakura: Yeah, enough of that. Everyone is back in their proper genders- Oh its good to have my cooch back Anko: Meow, I agree, Tsunade: -poofs back into a humannakedJiraiya: HOLY-- -nosebleeds so violently he hits the ceilingTsunade: .fuck Jiraiya: I was hoping so Tsunade: -punches and puts on clothes- ass hole. Kabuto: -smack Sakura with a pillowSakura: -tacklesKabuto: -poofs into a white ferretJiraiya: A ferret? Sakura: I expected a weasel. Kabuto: Bitch, Orochimaru: I still wanna know why Tsunade wasnt a slug Zakura: Cuz slugs are gay!! Theyre gross! They DONT MAKE SENSE!! Tsunade: -sigh- its a sad truth Shikamaru: hmmIno. As annoying as she isI do care about her, and she has been around me my whole life. It would hurt a lot more to lose her. Itachi: Aww, thats so sweet. Shikamaru: -flips fingerwhich is promptly pillow-bashedhappy birthday Lucifel! *drops Shizune, Kakashi, and a box of infinite paperwork in* I'm kidnapping Zakura and taking her to the spa for 1 chapter so she can have a break from torturing you all(as well as a manicure). Signed, Blood, Gore and Lollipops

Lucifel: Thanks!! Tsunade: hello Shizune. Shizune: Tsunade-sama!! Look at all this paper-work its insane!! Do you know how much has been building up since youve been gone?! Tsunade: -whaps with pillow- lighten up. Anko: SHIZUNE!! glompsAnko2: SEXY!! glompsShizune: what? Two of you? confusedOrochimaru: Hiiii Shizune!! Shizune: Orochimaru?! WTF?! Anko/Anko2: come on honey, lets go have fun somewhere else -all three leaveKakashi: UmmIm going with them -follows snickering pervilyJiraiya: He reminds me so much of me Tsunade: Youve in no way raise him! How do you go about putting on that proud, fatherly tone, jackass? Jiraiya: shut up, hes the biggest fan of my works! Tsunade: -rolls eyesZakura: Im SO gone. Kyuubi, youre in charge while Im gone. Kyuubi: Psh, like you ever had more authority than me anyway Zakura: Screw you. leavesKyuubi: All right, I want this pillow fights intensity doubled! Everyone: but Kyuubi: GO!!

Everyone: -begins crazily bashing each other with pillowsnearly crushing poor FeretKabuto-just comes home from school- whew! -drops bag on bedWingo: -talking quickly and hyperly- yes!finally!you'rehome!I'vebeenwaitingforhours!! ?!?Wingo...did you drink coffee?... Wingo: relax,itwasonly,like,30cups! -laughs hyperlyoh no... 1. I feel like giving something away, but I would like to see another contest... Wingo: -blows bubble, pop!-gasps- that was mine! hmm...I know! who ever can blow the biggest bubble out of ONE piece can have an item of their choosing! -hands out gumwell...I have to deal with Wingo's coffee overdose. ugh... Wingo: byeeveryone!haveaniceweek!seeyounexttime!drinklotsacoffee! shut up, Wingo! -The Muffinator 3 Haku: Ewww coffee. Itachi: -while dodging a violently Deidara attack- Fuck coffee, drink fraps!! Gaara: HELL YEAH!! Kabuto: -poofs back- SHIT! covers self with pillow. Kyuubi: HEY! The pillows are for smacking! Not covering! Kabuto: But Kyuubi: DONT QUESTION ME!!! Kabuto: -meep- attacks Orochimaru while trying to pull on pantsSakura: -twitchy blushingKyuubi: Ok, break for the bubble-blowing contest. Lee: -bursts bubble right away- dammit! I have too much YOUTH for this fragile piece of bubble-gum!! Gaara: -cant even figure out how to make a bubbleOrochimaru: -makes huge bubble with his tongue-

Tsunade: Well, I give up. Akamaru: -blows HUGE bubble that pops and covers him all in bubblegumSo after a while Kyuubi: K, Akamarus was the best!! Everyone: WHAT?! Orochimaru: He doesnt even have the right mouth for it!! Akamaru: Bark, bark, arf yap yap!! but have the heart!!!Kiba: YEAH!! high-fivessticks lock card on door so that it looks locked and I give Orochimaru-sama wings. which ever kind he wants, they are scientifically whatever so that he can fly with them too. I love you Oro. happy birthday Lucifel Orochimaru: I LOVE YOU TOO!! I WANT SNAKE WINGS!! -crickets chirpingJiraiya: Orosnakes dont -But at that moment from Oros back sprouting wings make of snakes skin and with spikes and shit on themOrochimaru: WHOOTT!! uses them to fling pillowsEveryone: AUGH!! ducks for coversSakura: -bumps into NarutoNaruto: -turns into a chibi-fox- aww man. Kyuubi: Cute. gets hit by pillow- HEY BITCH!! attacks OroKiba: We have a door? Shino: Dude, so we dowe should unlock it and see where it goes! It might be the way out!!

Kiba: Ok! I guess Ill try the only key I have. uses Sakura keybut is deflected- WTF?! Akamaru: bark, woof, yapyap arf!! it must be one of those cards!! I can sense great power from it! Kiba: All right!! makes staff- RETURN TO THE Lee: -beans with pillow- YOSH!!! Kiba: KNOCK IT OFF!! ahem- RETURN TO THE FORM YOU WERE MEANT Hinata: KYAA!! hides behind Kiba from Deidara who is then dispatched by Kurenai and Hinata runs away againKiba: GrrrRETUR Neji: -throws pillow at himKiba: JUST TURN INTO A CARD DAMMIT!! Lock card: -forms and floats into his handKiba: -seals- fuck the doors gone. Shino: that was pointless Kiba: Nuh-UH!! I got a new Kiba Kard!! Shino: -rolls eyesTo Who it May Concern (Lucifel and Co.): We have the one you know as 'Kryah'. If you ever wish to see her or her Gifts again, you will do as I say. FirstlyYou shall send me all caffenated beverages and perverted objects and literature in your posession. This includes scrapbooks. Secondly: I shall replace Itachi as badass of the millenium. Thirdly: I want your skillets and chocolate. To prove I'm serious, attatched to this letter is a photo of Kryah bound, gagged, blindfolded and chained to the wall by her wrists. By the by, tell that Sasuke boy to stop trying to kill me over the phone. EvilGuyMAN (It's european bitches.)

Pillows: -finally they all just fall into tatters and the room is full of feathers and everyone collapses onto couchesSakura: Ohoh dearlooks like well have to get Kryah back Kabuto: -on the same couch with her- yeahexcept for the part where none of us like the fans Sakura: shut up, Kryahs cool. Kurenai: I am NOT giving up my skilletsand DEFINITELY not my choclate!! Kisame: Im not giving up my Itachi pron!! Tsunade: You know the only option left then right? Lee: YOSH!! RESCUE-MISSION!! Sakura: LaterIm exhausted-leans against Kabuto to sleephe turns into a ferret again and she uses him as a pillowKabuto: -sighsEveryone: -agrees and they all cuddle up on the couches snoozing, the most interesting couplings of which are Kyuubi and the newly-turn-back Naruto who was so drowsy when he turns back he forgot to get dressed, and the Sannin three-way-cuddling going on in the corner couchfeathers continue to fall-

Ask Sakura 46 Sakura: Rescue party awake and ready to go? Zakura: Check. Kabuto: Wait!! I need to put my clothes on for fucks sake! Sakura: -rolls eyes- Food? Zakura: .sort of, check.

Sakura: sort of? Zakura: Well, we have some food but its mostly crap and Kibas already eaten most of it soyou know. Sakura: Ok, wellwater? Zakura: No check. Sakura: Ummrides? Zakura: If you can convince Manda to let you ride him be my guest. Sakura: weapons?! Zakura: No check. Well, we have bits of wood Sakura: AM I THE ONLY ONE SERIOUS ABOUT RESCUING KRYAH?! Everyone: Yeeeess. Sakura: Oh. Well anyway Zakura: Yeeeeah I just read this story in a few hours, today... Mrah. Kyuubi, will you judge my evil laugh too? And happy belated birthday, Lucifel-chan! I'm sorry I missed your actual birthday ;-; -offers large amounts of junkfood and suspicious-looking novels..hugs- .. Can someone tell Sasuke to stop shooting things in my bedroom window? Last night I had to sew his torso back on 'cause he hid in the closet and ..yeah. Accidents happen.. -Cuppy, xox -the cast is suddenly in the middle of the desert, decled out in traveling gear and all that nonsense, Kiba has a map in handItachi: You mean we really ARE rescuing Kryah?! Kabuto: Dont complain, were out of the room arent we? Itachi: Were in a DESERT!! Kisame: -rocking back and forth- dont likeno, nodont likewaterwater all gonewhere did it go? I dont knowthe duck stole itthe duck goes meow

Itachi: Dammit, this is why we hated taking him to sand country-pulls him to his feetcome on Gaara: -grinning massivelyLee: hu? Gaara: this is my world!! Haha!! Lets go bitches!! charges forwardKiba: Hey I have the map! Gaara: And?! Did I say I cared WHERE we were going? Kiba: Well the map says that way! pointsGaara: Thats the way I was JUST going! Kiba: Ohwellkeep moving -they charge off with everyone followingNeji: Is anyone else worried about the fact the Kiba was holding the map SIDEWAYS?! Everyone: Shut up, Neji!! Neji: Screw you guys Kyuubi: Yeah sure whatever. Im thirstylet me drink your blood. Naruto: Who are you asking?! Kyuubi: Anyone! Im fucking thirsty! Kurenai: this whole beginning thing is not boding well Lucifel: thanks! I dont care if it was late! Kurenai: -grabs novelsHinata: -looks over shoulderItachi: YOU BLEW MY SASUKE UP?! Thats it! Im re-directing this mission to that bichs house to get revenge! Tsunade: Yeahhave fun, were all totally gonna support THAT idea.

Gaara: Sand, sand.sandysandysandsand-smilesKankuro: Ok, youre fucking weird. Gaara: Dont you ever get like that over our home environment? Kankuro: Nono I never do Gaara: shut up. glaresKiba: I think we should turn Shino: which way? Kiba: -examines map closely then abruptly turns to the left- THIS WAY!! Shino: into the suspicious-looking deadly sandstorms? Kiba: Hey. Dont question the map all right? Shino: I was actually just thinking we could walk like, a mile further and go around them Kiba: DO NOT QUESTION THE MAP!! Shino: This is getting too insane. Ooh, rescue mission -drops in a chest full of weapons- that should help ^.^ -chucks naruto his HOT clothes from the makeover Deidara did on himWhere the hell was Sasori all last chapter? Who do you think is the strongest person in the show?and the sexiest person in the show? June x Sakura: Yes! Now we have weapons! Deidara: No! If we have weapons were up for attack, yeah! Sakura: and what if we were attacked without weapons? Deidara: dont be ridiculous, yeah. Sakura: I wouldnt dare.

Kurenai: SKILLET!! grabs and snuggles- Best weapon ever. Tsunade: you dont NEED a skillet to be given to you, I know you can pull one out of thin air. Kurenai: No, no, it needs to be thick air. Tsunade: leave the stupid comments to your students Shin/Hin: Hey!! Kiba:oh, uh, am I offended? Shino: .no youve just proven us right. Kiba: Oh, youre welcome. Naruto: HEY!! Right on! gets changed- I actually feel pretty awesome in these clothes. smileGirls: -swoonSasori: Hmm? I was happily avoiding being asked any fucking questions, thank you. Deidara: Aww, sassy. You know we love you, yeah Sasori: Yes, I knowI was trying to avoid that fact Deidara: -hugKurenai: Ok, so are we seriously walking straight into these sandstorms? Dei/Kib/Kisa/Naru/Lee: CHARGE!!! Tsunade: Well we know whos not SMARTEST. Jiraiya: Hehe, yeah. Tsunade: You arent in the running either so shut up. Jiraiya: dammit, youre all mean. Im going to attack the sandstorms and ignore you and YOU cant attack them!! Tsunade: Im so offended. rolls eyes- Yondaime, obviously. Orochimaru: Ok, lets try LIVING characters!?

Kyuubi: RightI KILLED Yonnyand Im awesome. Why are we even discussing this? Im the sexiest too. Kurenai: .Im not arguing. Tsunade: Yeah, me neither. Naruto: Oh noesI think we made the sandstorms angry Sakura: I hate you all!! Sakura: Gives a cellphone which has Sasuke's number on speed dial(and the battery is fully charged) And also is there any food you guys want? Just ask and I'll send it to you next time... Blood, Gore, and Lollipops Sakura: YAY!! Neji: theres no cell-service in our world. Sakura: I hate my life. SANDSTORM EXPLOSION!! -After the explosion fades they are suddenly in a huge jungle full ofjungle stuffKiba: Dude! Who needs food when we have suspiciously-colored mushrooms?! Shino: Yeahwho would ever need to worry about Kiba: Dude, this mushroom tastes likedeath Akamaru: Bark, bark, yap arf. Kiba, sometimes I think I got all the brains hereLucifel: HAPPY BRITHDAY(even though it's passed) here's a Giant Triple Chocolate Mud cake BTW the new Come Come paradise movie is out and the last screening is today. and they aren't planning on putting it on DVD. *Steals kurenai's skillet and all the Itachi porn from Kisame, steals all the caffine related drinks and turns them into water, shaves Deidara's hair off, paints Gaara's gourd hot pink * FiGhTiNgDrEaMeRs Lucifel: THANK YOU!! God I love my fans. ^_^ CAKE!!

Hinata: Cake? Lucifel: Ill share Haku: I want some! Zabuza: -steals from Hinata to give some to HakuEveryone: -GASP!- you bastard! Jiraiya: OK! Before anyone panics!! Everyone: Were not panicking Jiraiya: I will obviously have a copy all for myself since I wrote the screenplay so we can all get together and watch/re-inact it later. Everyone: NO! Orochimaru: Ok! Jiraiya: Damn, foiled. Kurenai: You cant steal my skillet because I only take it out when smashing face with it and I KNOW you aint gonna reach where I keep it -crickets chirpingKisame: Damn this forest is noisyGIMME MY PRON BITCH!! Itachi: Hey! I want payment for that! Those were special presents forI mean, I never wanted those made. Deidara: Lies, yeah! Itachi: Arent we supposed to be rescuing some broad?! Shino: Im not following Kiba anymore. Gaara: -glares at humidityLee: Blarg, forests are smothering Gaara: -glares all the harderItachi: HEY!! BITCH!! I WANT MY FUCKING FRAPS!!

Gaara: -twitch- Im bringing the list back out Itachi: Yeah! Deidara: NOOOOOO!!!! Kiba: Its ok, you can put this on your head-holds up mushroomsDeidara: wtf? Kiba: Theyre all shiny Shino: Youre high arent you? Kiba: -hic- yeah Shino: gimme some of those shrooms. Deidara: Wellif you think itll work, yeah-plants multiple mushrooms on headGaara: WTF?! IMMA KILL YOU BITCH!! Lee: -holds backKiba: DUDE!! THE MAP IS LIKEMOVING!! Shino: WE SHOULD FOLLOW IT!! Everyone: -blindly follows the high kidsShikamaru! *grins evilly* If I can get you out there for a week will you come tutor me for my exams... I'll pay you AND get Chouji here too! Why does Gaara no get frapps? Lee! You mission is to cheer Gaara-kun up! LORDI! *fangirlscream* WOW! Maru-dono... how many times did you guys have a threesome? coz they wont answer and i think more than once Ferret! Kawaii! LUFFLE Shikamaru: -cleans ear- OwwI hate fangirl screams. Kiba: GIANT SPIDER!! Lee: Where?!!

Kiba: THERE!! Sakura: But thats just a normal-sized Kiba: AAAGGGH!! attacksSakura: I hate drugs Shikamaru: And no, too troublesome. Im sorry youre stupid but Im not gonna fix it for you. Kurenai: Shikamaru!! Youre supposed to be one of the polite ones! Shikamaru: Finesorry Kurenai: Like you MEAN it Shikamaru: Ugh, FINE. Im very sorry I was far less bitchy than everyone else Kurenai: Good enough. Gaara: Why do you ask why I get no frapps, and then NOT GIVE ME ANY?!?! Lee: -dramatic kissGaara: UmmIm over here. Lee: -blink, blink- Then who Akamaru: Grooooooowl. Eww, human breathLee: -sweatdropGaara: Im real cheery-sulksKiba: Its NOT DYING!! Shino: DONT KILL IT!! ITS JUST A BUG!! BUGS ARE GOOD!! Kiba: DIE!!! Lordi: -chilling back in the room- sup. holds up rock-n-roll handsignOrochimaru: ALL the time. It was like, our way of celebrating!! Tsunade: -blushing- I hate you.

Jiraiya: Oh those were the days Neji: SHIT! REAL GIANT SPIDER!! Kiba: Dudeits likecolors and stuff Shino: Im gonna HUG it!! Aw, cute ^^ O.o my back's making crunching sounds... Kurenai: My parents are making me eat when I'm not hungry, AND making me eat medicine, EVEN THOUGH I'M FINE!! They won't listen to me T_T What am I going to do? (small pathetic voice: help...me...) Shikamaru: I'll give you that letter thingy with Chouji back, unless it's needed for Kryah's rescue... Then it wouldn't really matter if I give it or not -.-" Sakura/Zakura: In case the whole spa thing after you get out of the Room-of-Doom was cancelled when everything was...well, gone, I'll give it back to you! ^^ Have fun! Okay I got nothing else to say... Bye~! -hugs everyoneKurenai: Call child protection services. Or threaten too. Kimimaro: But when you do it, dont give them time to whoop your ass. Kabuto: Yeah. WE had to call them on Oro a few times Kimimaro: Oh, that was brilliant. Orochimaru: That was MEAN. Kabuto: -snickersLee: AM I THE ONLY ONE TRYING TO KILL THIS THING?! Naruto: No! Im helping! Sakura: Is that what they call it when youre getting your leg chewed off by a spider nowadays? Naruto: It hurts Shikamaru: right on, thanks. starts scribbling madlySaku/Zaku: WHOOOO!!! Lee: OWW!! ITS GOT MY ARM!!

Shino: Awwits hugging me with its jaws *Purrs in her ear, all evil and sexy looking, with wild, untamed hair* Love, what do you think about me getting a demon form? Kyuubi: *Hands a bottle of rum* Kyuubi, I dare you to pummel Kabuto. And in -return-, since you're so badass you deserve gifts for doing dares, I'll magically transport you to Narnia as soon as you pummel him, so you can destroy it all, and thus, kill Aslan compeltly. Kabuto: And -after- he's done pummeling you...*Covers you in rabid squirells. One of them is Foamy* Gaara: Hey, Gaara, can you kill someone for me, as a favor? I'll build you Frap mountain, that has a center of solid Frap, and pours frap over the edges if you do. P.S. *Grins, then resurects, and tosses in the Yondaime* Lucifel: Mmmm, I think that sounds wonderful. cuddlesSakura: Godaammit!! Stop sleeping with the fans! Lucifel: Sleeping? Honey, they keep me up ALL night! Sakura: -face-palmsTsunade: Oh, fuck this. crushes SpiderNaru/Shin/Lee: -lie twitching on the ground-they start walking again, now Kimimaro has the mapKyuubi: Right on. chugs- ahhhh, that was good. smack Kabuto with one punch, sending him to the ground in a bloody pile- I want aslant NOW. Kabuto: FUCKING SQUIRRELS!! Foamy: Thats right punk! Ill teach you to be all nerdy and rolling all your dumb-ass dice, and Kisame: -shootsFoamy: -explodesKisame: SO glad I picked the shotgun Deidara: -high-fivesGaara: Yeah! Talk about a mood-booster!!

Lee: You mean I cant cheer you up? Gaara: You aint kissing me with dog-breath. Lee: aww Naruto: HOLY SHIT ITS YONDAIME!! Yondaime: Son! Its so good to see you again! Naruto: Wow! And he is fond of me enough to refer to me in an endearing term that implies fatherly care! Yondaime: Uhdid no one ever tell him Jiraiya: Nah, we figured it made a good non-surprise pointless secret for later in the show. Yondaime: Dammit, you all suck. Even my students, whom I expressly told to make sure my son knew who his parents were and why I did what I did? Jiraiya: YeahKakashi kind of got minor amnesia and whats-her0face is wella minor character no one gives a shit about. Naruto: Hey, whos your son?! Yondaime: Erryou Naruto: -stunnedYondaime: Now, I know youre shocked and ridiculously happy to find your father AND find out he was your idol and greatest ninja Ninja: YOU PUT KYUUBI IN YOUR OWN KID?!? THATS FUCKED UP!! I HATE YOU!! Yondaime: Er.what? twitchZakura: What do you think about Yuri Incest? Kurenai: If you stop people from breaking the Fourth Wall, then I'll give you this goldplated skillet! Zabuza: How would you like to be turned into a Cyborg? Haku: Do you still have the Swords that I gave to Lucifel? If so, I'll trade you this Room full of Mirrors to get them back! Kabuto: Have a Chuck Norris Cowboy Hat.

Zakura: I think.FUCK YEAH!! Itachi: ITS INCEST BABY!! Kisame: I love it when youre kinky Zabuza: Well it might Haku: Cyborgs are creepy. Zabuza: No. Never. Fuck off. Yondaime: Listen, Naruto I Naruto: Im not talking to you. Yondaime: Naruto I want to Naruto: What? Does someone hear the sound of a complete and tota ASSHOLE talking? Yondaime: -sighHaku: ButI can make my OWN mirrorwhat the fuck is the point of that? I LIKE my swords. Zabuza: You like my sword. Haku: Teeheehee Kabuto: Fragum? Sakura: Aww, his brains squished. Kabuto: -shakes head- eughwhat the fuck am I wearing? tries to take it off- -failsIts STUCK!! Sakura: Buwahahahaha! Serves you right! -they fall into a pit-fallEveryone: SHIIIIIIIIT!!!! OI! Who nicked my chaos emerald! Well, at least I absorbed the other six so no one can reach them. (clicks fingers and makes it rain fraps) sorted.

where's Snowshoes? Hm...(clicks fingers and a chocolate syrup pool appears) Bye bye losers! Zakura; The real question iswho gives a shit? Sakura: Stop. Zakura: No. Were all cramped in the bottom of this fucking pit-fall, and now fans are saying random crap I dont care about so Sakura: SHUT UP! Youre a bitch! Zakura: No. Naruto: Hey, I want a new seat. Yondaime: Come on Naruto Itachi: Shut the fuck kid, were all cramped, and most of us would give a lot to be next to someone as sexy as your dad. Kisame: Hey, youre next to me Itachi: Yeah, you and Leewhoopeewell, and Ive got SOMEONE crushing my ribs Jiraiya: Sorry, Im pinned myself. Itachi: Dammit. Gaara: WOOT!! Itachi: EVERYTHING IS BETTER NOW!!...dammit! My arms are pinned!! Deidara: Who the fuckohoh that Sasori: Oh yeah, that happened off-screen didnt it Deidara: Yeahhehe, whoops, yeah Sasori: Anyway Deidara: Yeah! Moving on yeah Jiraiya: I SO want to get back now!

Itachi: I hope Lordi doesnt get it all grotty with their rock-funkheavy metal is awesome but it is dirty Everyone: -nods(Drops chainsaw into the room) Who wants to chase Sasori around with this? Naruto & Jiraiya: When people get rushed with a Chidori or Rasengan, do they always follow anime protocol, or does somebody occasionally STEP OUT OF THE WAY? (Shuts off the gravity in the room) Enjoy your hijinks. Kyuubi: Fuck chasing Sasori I just wanna use the chainsawon everyone. Zakura: Down Kyuubi. Yondaime: KYUUBI?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Kyuubi: Er, no. Now if youll excuse me. jumps out of pitinto a group of fierce Amazonian women- HermI dont suppose youd want to have an orgy and call the whole killing thing off? Amazonian women: RAAAAAAR! attackKyuubi: Oh well. starts chainsawNaruto: WHAT is going on up there?! Jiraiya: Ierhmm Yondaime: DUDE! That reminds me. smacks JiraiyaJiraiya: WTF?! Yondaime: Someone did that to me! I was SO thrown-off I was almost beaten you asshole! You need to prepare a guy for that kind of stuff! Jiraiya: II didnt know it happened Yondaime: Yeah, well, it doesass hole Orochimaru: Man! Now I REALLY wanna get back!! Kurenai: Fuck yeah! Kimimaro: Am I the only worried about what a mess thatll be? Kabuto: Yup.

Kimimaro: Figures. Sakura: SoI landed on Kankuro and now hes black catwhat do I do Itachi: Hand him here, Ill take of the naked boy Knakuro: -hisssSakura: I need to remove this curse thing Kabuto: Dont you have your cancel-one-thing trinket left? Sakura: Oh yeah Kiba: IS THAT FOOD?! eatsSakura: hate you. Kyuubi: Hey all! Ignore the blood dripping over the edge of the pit and get your asses up here! Itachi: oh nononononoNO! you do not get to be super musculer! (takes away the musels so he looks sexy again) everyone else: (is showered in a lime green liquid) you now have to say something random before answering to a question or dare. MiniDeath P.S.(slips the death note into lees back pocket) Itachi: Thank you!! Ok, I hate you less than the rest now. Kurenai: Right, cause not enough random shit happened before. Sakura: Yeah Kiba: I dont want us to have to do that Trinket: -shinesFixd Sakura: That was gay Zakura: And sneaky. You should have let it last a little while at least. Lucifel: Shut the fuck up.

Lee: -takes out book- hmm? A journal? I will write about Gaara! Ryuk: Hyukukukukuthis should be amusing Lee: AAAAAA!! MONSTER!!! Kyuubi: RYUK!! Ryuk: Kyuubi-chan? Kyuubi: -punches- I told you not to call me that. Ryuk: Not what you said last night. Kyuubi: Oo Ryuk: Hgyugugugugu. Im practicing human humor. Kyuubi: Youre a fucking FREAK. Everyone: -finally manages to get out of the pitSakura: Ewwso these were our captors? Kyuubi: Yeahthey kind of sucked. Ryuk: So did your mom. Kyuubi: Ok, seriously, stop that. Lee: -quivers behind GaaraNaruto: Who the fuck are you talking to Kyuubi? Yondaime: Why the fuck is Kyuubi here? Sakura: O, he got it. Hes been decent really Yondaime: God, this is a fucking mess amber: ok... kakashi and shizune got away, damn their souls, but i captured kureno and haru and hatori. HT: isnt haru in the cuddle chamber? amber: SHUT UP! HT: okay... hey! i am not dumb! and no, you will not get me kyuubi. but im depressed

now that such a fluffy character doesnt like me... amber: ok, ill give fraps to whoever can turn kyuubi into a chibi fox. Kankuro: Send them in! frantically tries to get clothes on before the fangirls tackles himHinata: -turns bright redItachi: Yeah! Hatori is SMEXY!! Kisame: Mmm, I have some Hatori pron too Itachi: CHEATER!! Kisame: Wtf? I thought you didnt like me having pron of you. Itachi: But you could at least be LOYAL about itgeez Kyuubi: IM NOT FLUFFY!! Zakura: huh, yeah right.no one here has the power to Ryuk: whats a frap? Gaara: Its YUMMY. Ryuk: Mmmmyou look crazy enough to believe. turns Kyuubi chibiKyuubi: WTF?! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS RYUK!?! Ryuk: Yeah well Kyuubi: FRIENDS DONT LET FRIENDS TURN CHIBI!! Ryuk: Sorry-sips frap- Oooh, worth it. Kyuubi: I hate you. Yondaime: Aww, whos the adorable little chibi demonis it you? Is it you? I think it is! Awwww googoogoo Kyuubi: I hope you realize this just makes YOU look like an idiot. Yondaime: Worth it. Kyuubi: I hate you Ryuk.

Ryuk: -shrugs- I want an apple Kyuubi: Fuck you. Okay I throw Kero into the room. Oro-sama I give you sexy snakeskin dress with a low cut back (for your wings) and long slits up the sides. ^_~ Shikamaru I give you my math homework. Just in case youre bored. Kero: Wtf? Where am I? there chocolate and heavy-metal musicians floating everywhere?! Kiba: DUDE! I cant wait to meet him!! bounces happilyAkamaru: -sits and sulksOrochimaru: IT GOES WITH MY WINGS!!! puts it onItachi: Hey yeah, fly up and see if theres anywhere to go Orochimaru: K. flies up- DUDE!! THERES A TOTALLY EVIL FORTRESS LIKE THREE FEET AWAY!! Tsunade: thats way too fucking convenient. Kyuubi: Im not going to a dark palace like this! Yondaime: Oh dont be a pussy, lets go. Kyuubi: -grumbles and followsShikamaru: WTF is it with everyone trying to give me their homework? Why the uck would I want to do math for OTHER people?! Thats too troublesome! Thats ridiculous! RAH! scribblesYondaime: What is he doing? Neji: Writing to the fat kid. Yondaime: Chozas son? Are they together too? Neji: TOO? Yondaime: Oh rightthey got married to women in the endkeep forgettint that.

Shikamaru: -shocked and terrifiedYou know... When Itachi said he wanted to ride Narutos mom...it irked me... So now i shove a potion down Itachis throat that makes it so he can never grow back cranium hair! HAHAHAHA! Because he irked me... Itachi: Well HA cause thats doesnt mean my hair is GONE it just wont grow back so nyeh. sticks out tongue- But just to be sure-rips off Kabutos hat ad puts it on to guard his hairKabuto: OWW!! FUCK! I think you got my SKIN! Sakura: Aww, poor baby. snickerYondaime: You said youYOU FUCKER!! grabs Itachi by the throat and starts kicking assNaruto: WOOOT! GO YONDAIME! I mean.erI hate you Itachi: -collapses to the ground and Yondaime stalks to the door sof the huge, imposing dark citadel and pounds on the doorYondaime: WERE HERE FOR THE GIRL!! -The top window creeks open and a tall man in a red suit with long white hair leans outStrange man: Helllllo duelists! Welcome to my jungle tournament! The prize will be Yondaime: Listen, were just here for the girl. Strange Man: Now listen, I know Bakura is feminine but he IS a boy and I kidnapped him to steal back the millennium items he took and kick his ass for kicking mine earlier so Jiraiya: Who the fuck ARE you? Man: Im Maximillian Pegasus, duelist extraordinaire and Jiraiya: SO no girl? Pegasus: Eww no. Ever since my wife died Ive been COMPLETELY gay. Yondaime: Do you happen to know where we might find a kidnapped fangirl? Pegasus: Oh, there are just SO manyI dont knowhold on. HEY SETO!! Seto (offscreen): DAMMIT PEGASUS!! I told you not to let them know Im here!

Pegasus: Now, now, Kaiba-boy its not like I told them youre currently pantless and tied to my bed or something Seto: PEGASUS!! Pegasus: Sorry, sorry. Have any fangirls been captured recently? Seto: Yeah, I think I saw Mr. Evil or what-the-fuck-ever flying by with one. Now get back here. Pegasus: Oh yeah! Ok, guys, its just a few doors down! Have a nice day! closes windowSakura: so disturbed. Yondaime: Wellletsgo nextdoor? Everyone: sure Tsunade: Since youre always beating on Jiraiya for being a pervert, why do you wear an outfit that covers almost nothing on the top? I mean, you could at least cover them up a little so you dont give every male you meet a free show. Tsunade: Oh wellyou seethis was the biggest top I could fnd. Yondaime: Awkward. Why didnt you just have one custom made? Tsunade: they didnt have enough fabric Itachi: -snrrrkOrochimaru: Thats what you get false-y. Tsunade: THEYRE NOT FAKE!! Oro/Jira: BULL!! Yondaime: -knocks on the next doorDoor: -creaks open to reveal a snakey-looking man- hello? Yondaime: Hi,. Were looking for a kidnapped fangirl Snekman: No, no fangirls here. Just Harrynakedtied to the bed

Harry: VOLDEMORT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL THEM!! Orochimaru: VOLDEMORT?!?!? tackles/killsKyuubi: I though we already killed him? Orochimaru: -walking over wiping off blood- Well, now hes dead again. It was your BIRTHDAY? HAPPY late BIRTHDAY!! Kyuubi:...I don't know if this was mentioned or not before... but are you in human form? And if you are (or not), how do you like like? Sakura: Your starting sound More and MORE like Zakura, you know that? Lucifel: THANK YOU! YOU ROCK! Yondaime: -at the next door- Lets try this again. knocks-no answerKyuubi: Well I WAS in human form as a tan, tall, fiery haired/eyed man, but now Im a fucking chibi fox. Yondaime: -knocks again-No answerYondaime: Must be the place. kicks the door downNorrington: HEY!! DO YOU MIND?! Im trying to tie Will to the bed. Will: Oh, I know my place, Norringtonbetween you and Jack Jack Sparrow: FUCK YEAH! I knew the innuendo was intentional! Wheres the rum? Yondaime: -closes door- This is getting so old Itachi: Hey! Open that again! Yondaime: NO! Moving on Sakura: I AM NOT YOU JERK!! Zakura: -ahemSakura: I meanerI most certainly am not.

Zakura: Nice try. Lyon Ryuushi masterbates to Naruto. He loves ItaNaru and GaaNaru so Naruto be careful. Stay away from that freak. And he hates Sakura and Hinata. And he's 12. Sakura: ummmwhat? Itachi: Obviously, someone hacked his profile and left this as a joke. Deidara: We however, are going to endorse this as entirely true, yeah. Itachi: DUH. Sakura: We are not! Tsunade: Oh loosen up. Wingo's been unconscious for a few days now...should I be worried? Boost: -drives up out of nowhere eating italian ice- nah, that always happens after he drinks coffee. 1. moving on...Akamaru, you never said what you wanted! 2. Boost: ahem...Tsunade...if slugs are gay and gross...then why the crap did you choose to summon them?! 3. Boost: hmm...fraps are better than coffee...Muffinator! I need your fangirl powers to give Itachi and Gaara each a crate of Vanilla flavored frappuccinos. what? no, get 'em yourself! Boost: -clears throat in an angry and menacing wayfine! -fraps appear-The Muffina Tsunade: Because on the day we were picking summoning animals I woke up lateit sucked. Jiraiya: It was SO awesome. Orochimaru: -high-fivesYondaime: THIS HAS GOT TO BE IT!! Through the door a squeaky voice is heard: This is not the citadel of Mr. Evil Guy, go away! We have no fangirls here! Yondaime: -rasengans the doorDoor: -steps out of the way-

Yondaime: FUCK!! WHY IS IT ONLY ME?! Jiraiya: Oooh, that does suck. Naruto: -rasengans door and it shattersYondaime: no fair. Akamaru: Arf, arf, bark yap howl. Oh, Im pretty contentI guess just give Kiba somethingKiba: I could really use a sandwhich right now -Sandwhich appearsKiba: CONVENIENCE!! Akamaru: -sighsMr. Evil Guy: -with a deeper voice now- Very well, if thats what it takes, I will give you the most dramatic face off youve ever seen! Ryuk: -writes evil-mans name in Death NoteMr. Evil Guy: -collapsesEveryone: WTF? Yondaime: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! Ryuk: Cause ruining dramatic moments seems to really irk humansheehee. Everyone: Fuck it lets go home -they all start walking homeGaara: FRAPS RAIN!! -They run around trying to catch frapsAm I the only person who actually likes Sakura? Also, I think she actually has big boobs, and is hiding them with a chakra-enhanced bra. FYI, I heard a rumor that Sasuke is actually bi, and is currently doing Tenten. Everyone (besides Sakura, Lee and Naruto): YES!! Sakura: Thats a lie

Naruto: Yeah! Were all somebodies too, yknow! Zakura: lies. Itachi: Speaking of lies, Sasuke is totally gay. Somebody LIED to you Gaara: K, I have acrap-ton of fraps. Lets go home. -They all head outHinata: Anoummdidnt we forget something? Kiba: Nah, I cant imagine what, Hinata: Ohok Meanwhile in the last citadel: Kryah: UmmMr. Evil Guy, are you gonna give me food yet? Helloooo? Are you dead? Am I being rescued? Hello? Lucifel: Oh irony. Anyway, hope this was enjoyable. See you back in the room next week! Oh, and btw, I recently watched like, ALL of Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, I highly recommend it for anyone who has ever watched Yu-Gi-Oh. Its fucking hilarious. Ciao!

Ask Sakura 47 Lucifel: OMGOMGOMG!!! LOOKIE!! EARLY UPDATE!! ARENT YOU PROUD?!?! Ok, moving on with the story. Orochimaru: Hey, where is everyone? Sakura: -floats over to a piece of paper that is randomly floating around the room and reads- Dear weird-ass ninja kids, we got bored and have a gig to do so we took the chocolate sauce and went back to Europe. Yours Truly, Lordi.

Kiba: Dammit! I wanted chocolate sauce! Kero: Eh, I had eaten most of it already anyway Kiba: YOU! YOURE THE GUARDIAN OF THE CLOW CARSDS ARENT YOU?! Kero: Ummyeah, Kiba: LOOKIT!! hold up Kiba KardsKero: holy shit on a sandwhich, so THATS where theyve been going? You need to give those back to Sakura Kiba: nevar! Theyre mine now! They like me better and LOOK Ive re-sealed them! I have the staff! I am the rightful owner! Kero: eh, why not? If you can get all the cards, sure. You can keep em. Kiba: YES!!! Shino: You gotta be kidding me. Kiba: -does anti-grav flipsTo Sakura: Have you ever lost control of your innerself and pummeled someone to a bloody pulp? If not please do so. To Hinata: HIME! -pulls out 6ft tall chocolate bar- For you Hinata-hime. And share with anyone who wants it. Except Kabuto since he's a lolicon dork. To Naruto: What would most likely happen if the world ran out of ramen? A. Would you unleash the Kyubi till you get it or B. Crave for human flesh... It could be possible. Tenten: How the hell do you hide all your weapons? BYE BYE WOOF!

Sakura: Well considering shes out now Zakura: Sright, bitch, -does an anti-grav flying kick at Kibas headKiba: WTF?! Zakura: Youre an idiot, therefore you deserve to be kicked. Kero: I like this chick. Hinata: Oh I could never eat all this-breaks off a small piece- Ok, whoever wants the rest Kurenai: -LUNGES-

Itachi: -uses flame jutsu to melt it before she can get there so the room is once against full of floating chocolateKurenai: -floats around happily consuming chocolate as she passes itNaruto: I would probably die of depression Yondaime: Over ramen? Naruto: Uh, YEAH. If you were GOOD father you would have been around to see just how much I love it! Yondaime: -shuts up and sulksNeji: rightwell, anyway, this is a Naruto ask fic, I dont know who this TenTen person is but Lee: SHES ON OUR TEAM!!!! Neji: Ok, smart-ass, you answer for her then cuz shes sure not here. Lee: Fine, I dont know how she does it. Kiba: I really dont want to think about that one Hinata: Isnt ituha summoning jutsu? Sakura: Not all of them-twitchesRyuk: -hovers over Lees shoulder- Hey kid, you know what that book in your pocket does? Lee: Nowhat? Ryuk: guess. Lee: That is cruel! But I shall use my youth to deduce this properly!! starts examining bookRyuk: Hyugugugugu Kyuubi: I still hate you Ryuk: Chibis shouldnt hate. Kyuubi: grrr

...YONDAIME! -slaps- I agree with Naru-chan, you asshole! Sealing Kyuubi in your own child... you could have at least sealed it in some bitch so she would have got the awful childhood she deserved and she would have had some power. ah, so Kyuubi is the strongest and sexiest person, if that is the case... -unchibifies him and gives him a stick- yah... just a stick, feel free to shove it up someones ass. -makes Dei-chans hair grow backJune x

Yondaime: Hey now Zakura: Whats with the sexist shit, bitch? Are you saying women deserve to be cursed and men dont? Thats fucked up. Yondaime: Well, I had to seal it in my own flesh technically but demons are weird so if I had died he could have gotten out so I had to put it in my son since he would keep living. Its verycomplicated Zakura: Im still pretty pissed about this whole sexist thing. What a whore. Sakura: Zakura! Knock it off! Zakura: Right, cause you can totally boss me around, bitch. Sakura: -glowersKyuubi: YES! IM SEXY AGAIN!! Ryuk: Nah, too normal-lookin. Kyuubi: Screw you. smacks with stickRyuk: shit, forgot that demons could physically hurt me-rubs face- oww Kyuubi: Serves you right you two-faced freak. Ryuk: Two-faced? Naw, thats Jimmy...hes one of the weirder ones. Kyuubi: I hate death gods Deidara: Yay! I have more hair. air-walks over to Sasori- Isnt it pretty, yeah? Sasori: Yeahwhatever. Deidara: -sadnessGlob of chocolate: -floats by-

Deidara: -consumesfeels bettercrepes anyone? Sorry but I only have chocolate/hazelnut or cherry filling. Itachi: If you had to undo one thing in your life, what would it be? Sasori: If you could make a living doll out of one person in the room without any consequences, who would it be?

Kurenai: -chasing a particularly large chocolate glob- CHOCO-HAZELNUT FOR ME!!! Zakura: Can you just send a huge box of each, k thanks. What do you suckers want? Sakura: what, thats all yours?! Zakura: um, duh? Sakura: Send another assortment for the rest of us ok? Kiba: No! I want my own! Kero: Dont be a greedy S.O.B. you stupid kid. Kiba: You were never this mean to Sakura! Kero: Cuz she was an over-sensitive little girl! Be a man! You can take it! Kiba: Yessir! Akamaru: -rolls eyesItachi: Ummprobably this one time I forgot to turn the oven off and it exploded and killed one of the old akatsuki membersthat kind of sucked. Yondaime: Because you wouldnt want to undo the horrible wrongs youve done or anything. Itachi: Of course not. I wouldnt want to be a goody-two-shoes like you. Yondaime: -sighsSasori: Yondaime, obviously. Hes the strongest one here by far. Well, except for Kyuubi, but I couldnt link our chakra so it wouldnt work. Kyuubi: Plus you could never. Sasori: Im sure I could manage. Kyuubi: No.

Sasori: Yes. Kyuubi: NO. Sasori: You keep telling yourself that Kyuubi: -seetheZakura: Which Yuri is hotter? Mortal Enemy yuri, Best Friend Yuri, or Incest Yuri? Zabuza: Okay, would you like a Lightsaber instead? (Gives Zabuza Lightsaber) And do you find it to be a turn-on whenever Haku curses? Haku: ...Well, you didn't have to curse. (Pouts) But still, I think that's the first time I've heard you curse before. As a reward, here. You can have a Lightsaber as well! (Gives Haku Lightsaber) Take good care of those swords! Did you know that you can bring someone back to life with them? Try using them to bring your mother back to life! Lucifel: I'm thinking about having Orochimaru get together with Kimimaro in my Ask fic? Does that make you happy? Yondaime (if you're still there): Okay, what is your REAL name? Arashi, or Minato? And did you know that some people write fics about your son and KYUUBI getting together? And great job kicking Itachi's ass! That's all for now! Zakura: D, all of the above. Sakura: sick. Kurenai: Speaking of whichanti-grav plus chocolate does not mix-turns a sickly green and begins moaningZabuza: right on. brandishes lightsaber- this is pretty cool .The weight is weird thoughand no, Haku generally just always turns me on. Haku: Teehee, yay! Oh andnaw, Im good. Tsunade: You dont want to bring your mother back? Haku: Not especially. That was a time in life Id rather not ever think about again. Besides, I dont think these swords can really do that-starts fighting Zabuza with lightsaberKankuro: That certainly didnt happen in the video game when I played it Gaara: You play video games? Kankuro: Hell yeah. No one would play with me, so I played by myself.

Lee: You never had friends Kankuro? Kankuro: I had a few at school, but mostly people thought I was weird. I was Gaaras brother after all. Gaara: -poutsLee: -turns upside down and floats over to Gaara to kiss himGaara: Youre weird. Lee: Actually I am in love! Gaara: -blushes and kissesLucifel: Im generally happier with Oro/Jira and Kimi/Kabu but yeah, thats cute too. Its kind of a given, but very cool. Orochimaru: -glomps KimiKimimaro: -blushesYondaime: Actually its-mumblesNaruto: Huh, what? Yondaime: -muttersTsunade: Whaaaat? Yondaime: Gerald, ok!? My name is Gerald Naruto: Wtf? Yondaime: Yeah, I dont really get it either. Everyone: -uncontrollable laughterYondaime: -sighsYONDI! -glomps and gives a kiss...on the cheek- kissing him on the mouth would be improper. He has a kid! Sakura: It's okay! Not everyone hates you! I don't! Itachi: How did you deal with annoying little brothers/sisters(A.K.A. Sasuke) before you killed the clan? Shikamaru: YOUR DAD IS GAY?! -gasps dramaticlyNaruto: You have to forgive Yondi-chan! He thought he was doing a good thing! He thought that the villagers would treat you as a hero(which was really stupid, seeing that people are idiots) and that you'd get tons of ramen! YOU MUST FORGIVE HIM!

-throws a couch that gets bigger when there are more people in the room, and hair products to Yondi-Hugs everyone- Okay, bye bye!

Itachi: GASP! It cant be! A fanwith morals?! Deidara: No way, yeah! Yondaime: did I just get kissed? Sasori: you get used to the fangirls after awhile. Killing a few helps. Yondaime: -scoots awaySakura: HA! There, you see, Zakura?! Im LOVED! Zakura: No, Itachi is loved, youre liked. Get over it. And still, 80 percent of the people hate you. Sakura: -poutsItachi: By subduing and sexing them. Yondaime: -twitchSasori: You get used to that too. Shikamaru: my dad is apparently bi-twitchNaruto: No I dont! Why dont you try having had your dad die on you and only leave a DEMON sealed inside of you to remember him by! Yondaime: I never meant to hurt you so much! The fangirl is right! I thought you would be loved and admired! Im so sorry! Naruto: I hate you! Yondaime: what if I buy you some Ramen? Naruto: will you buy me ramen for life? Yondaime: Absolutely! Naruto: I love you daddy. Yondaime: -sighNaruto: -hugs-

Kiba: AUGH!! Floating couch! Dive! floats out of the wayAkamaru: -jumps on couch and holds on as it floats around- arf, arfm bark yap! ha! I rule the couch and you are all my minions!Kiba: -is talking excitedly with Kero about how many cards there areAkamaru: -sighs and lies down(Replaces chaos emerald with everlasting buffet table and nicks some of Kyuubi's blood) Kyuubi's blood is going to a good cause. Who here likes Duck Kidney? (throws in giant 3 headed golden dragon that will only obey Deidara and Sasori) Don't worry she can't die but can command all the elements. You have to name her. Kiba/Lee/Naru: BUFFET!!! dash to floating buffetNaruto: Grab the food before it floats away!! Kiba: Duck kidney? Lee: -drops the piece of meat he was examiningKyuubi: Yum. devours- HEY! MY BLOOD! Yondaime: What can someone do with demon blood? Its completely toxic Tsunade: It makes a pretty damn good poison. Yondaime: Eick, thats truehmm Naruto: Dammit! I dont care! Its food! attacks buffet foodDeidara: Lets name her fluffy! Sasori: Lets fucking not. Dragon: Name me? I have name. You just cant pronounce it. Also, I will obey you when I feel like it sosee you. Im not staying in this stuffy old roomAkamaru: -is thrown across the room by the force of the couch exploding from trying to compensate its size to fit a dragonNaruto: MAN! Youre dragon ruined the couch! Dragon: Well, excuse me, it wasnt my idea. Later. disappears in a poof of fire-

Deidara: Fluffy! Come back! Dragons voice: NO! Deidara: Aww. Akamaru: -whineSakura: You don't get the respect you deserve. Sure, you're a lame character at first, but by Shippuden you've totally turned yourself around, and I commend you! (Commends by giving Sakura a Law Enforcement Kunai Shotgun) Tosses dry ice into the room. This combines with the anti-grav to create the illusion of being inside a giant cloud. Kankuro: being around Gaara all the time, do you have trouble getting sand out of your asscrack and other places? Sakura: Dude! Im getting so much love! Thank you guys! Zakura: Dont get your hopes up whore. Plenty of people still hate you. Sakura: -sticks out tongue- Well I have a gun now. Kiba: Can I play with it? Sakura: No! Youd shoot your eye out! Kabuto: God, you tight-ass bitch. Sakura: Shut up! Kabuto: Or what? Sakura: -hugsKabuto: -turns into a ferret again- I hate you
*Grins, before turning into a demon form. Two black wings burst from his back, and his eyes glow crimson. Also grows 10 tails. He looks himself over, dressed in evil samurai clothes*..Nice. This good, love? And almost chapter 50! And, as your birthday present! *Hands her a wrapped scythe* I stole this from Grim. He has extra's, of course, but that's his most powerful one. Kyuubi: *Snaps his fingers sending Kyuubi to Narnia* Naruto: You realize that technically, Yondaime gave you ultimate power, -and- if you hadn't had your type of life, you'd probuly have ended up like -Sasuke-. Is -that- what you wanted? You should be -gratefulfor Kyuubi. You heal instantly, have -limitless- chakra, -and- you're becoming bad ass. Advantages all around. *Drops Chuck Norris in.* P.S. *Tosses in some kid with curly brown hair, glasses, and fit muscles* Gaara, this is the guy I want you to kill. He's a weakling, besides martial arts training no where -near- Lee's level. Thank you for killing him for me.

Lucifel: Doncha wish your boyfriend was HOT like mine? Sakura: -face-palmsLucifel: -brandishes scythe- nice! I can officially kill anyone I want! Sakura: uh-oh. Lucifel: Im a fan-girl, I generally dont kill charactersyet Sakura: -rolls eyes- anyway, moving on. Kyuubi: Back in a few Naruto: I.uhyeahhuh. Yondaime: youre welcome? Naruto: I havent thanked you! Yondaime: Thats why there was question mark. Naruto: Ohwell, anyway, thanks. Im glad you stopped me from being Sasuke. Yondaime: sure thing. Naruto: -hugsYondaime: -hugs backLucifel: I dont write Chuck Norris into my fanfiction, chuck Norris writes ME into it. Chuck Norris: No Im dont. And for the record if you drop me in a lake the water does not get chuck, I get wet. Naruto: BLASPHEMY!! Chuck Norris: Everything else is true though. Naruto: YAY! Ladies: -swoonKyuubi: Im back. Damn are you all still here?

Sakura: Its only been a few minutes. Kyuubi: Oh right, time passes differently. Itachi: You look happy. Kyuubi: I left Narnia a burning, stinking mess slowly crumbling into oblivion, Im pretty ecstaticso whos this chump? Chuck Norris: Are you talkin about me? Tsunade: Dont push it Kyuu Kyuubi: Yeah. I am. Naruto: Kyuubis gonna get it! Chuck Norris: You have anything else you wanna say? Jiraiya: Fight! Fight! Kyuubi: Yeah. Your Cowboy Hat is gay. Everyone: -GASPKiba: Oh no he didnt!!! Chuck Norris: Thats it. I dont know who you are, or what you were trying to prove, but no one insults the hat. Kyuubi: I wasnt. I just said it was gaywhich is the truth. Chuck Norris: -dropkicks Kyuubi so hard his daddy felt itKyuubis Dad: Godammit, he insulted chuck Norris again -A few minutes laterChuck Norris: Well, folks, I dont think that guyll be causing any trouble anymore. Ladies: -swoonKabuto: -turns back into a human- Shit! I need clothes! chases his clothes which are floating near the ceilingChuck Norris: Sowas his growth stunted or something?

Kimimaro: Nono thats pretty average Chuck Norris: Really? Thats sad. Tsunade: -droolsOrochimaru: Chuckcan I call you chuck?have you ever considered sleeping with a man?! -record scratching to a haltChuck Norris: No. Orochimaru: Oh-crushedChuck Norris: At any rate, I think my work here is done. Adios. tips hat to the ladies, shakes hands with the men (besides Oro) and then walks off into the sunsetHinata: anoisnt it the afternoon? Kiba: yeah. And THATS Chuck Norris. Kyuubi: -gets up- fuck that hurt Naruto: WAIT A MINUTE!! If he could beat Kyuubi that means he was powerful enough to get us out!! Dammit!!
Gaara: Yeah, hang on one sec. Hey kid. Kid: y-yeah? Gaara: I'm about to kill you, any last wishes? Kid: to live? Gaara: Umm...no. Lee: Gaara! unecessary killing is wrong! Gaara: Ok...hey Kyuubi! This kid said you were weak. Kyuubi: -tears kid apartGaara: There see? I didn't DIRECTLY kill him, I just helped his death along. Lee: You're lucky I love you so much. Gaara: Oh, I know it. HT: YONDAIME! YONDAIME!I LUVLUVLUVZ YOUZ! but i just thought of something! lucifel, youre another version of lucifer (AKA devil) right? because that would meanamber: oh hell no.

HT: yeah! that would meanamber: -takes her scythe out and zaps HT with lightning causing her to go into a comamilan: hm. anyway, i have questions! any of you like naked pics of hatori? and are you annoyed that this entire review-thing is so long lucifel-san? and another, WHO WANTS ITANARU FANFICTION LINKS!? :D

Lucifel: Hu? Would mean what? Cuz yeah, Im the before-he-fell version of Lucifer, except Im still all pervy. Anyway, my scythe is cooler. twirlsOrochimaru: YAH! Right here! Yondaime: erthank you? Ryuk: Sokid. Lee Er, yes? Ryuk: Are you gonna try writing in that book? Lee: I did. I wrote a whole sentence and nothing happened. Ryuk: Welldid you write ABOUT anyone? Lee: Gaara! Ryuk: Let me see itoh, you only used his first name Lee: Well, of course. Ryuk: Im leaving-takes death note and goes homeLee: Hey! My diary! Gaara: You were keeping a diary? Lee: yosh! In order to record all my youthful thoughts! Gaara: right. Lucifel: And nah, you dont annoy me. I can always just edit. Itachi: NO! Naruto: NO!! Orochimaru: yeah, Ill take some of those too, teeheehee Naruto: NONONONONO!!! LLALALAALALA, I cant hear you! No such thing as ItaNaru fics!!

Itachi: -twitches a whole lotSakura/Lee/Naruto: Since everyone else said they Didn't like Sakura (and Sakura's my FAV character) My gift to you are... weird green glowing necklaces that will only work for you! You can use it to wish absolutely anything, however like those sucky glowsticks at Walmart, you only have a day to use them! Yondaime: I dare you to make-out with a random character. And by random character I mean someone you have not met in your other life and in the Naruto series. Gaara: YOU GET UNLIMITED FRAP-MACHINE! (for being Another one of my fav characters!)

Haku: What? I like Sakura! Hinata: M-me too Zabuza: You better give one to haku, bitch. Haku: Oh, its ok. I have everything I want anyway. Lee: I wish for Gaara to have eyebrows! Gaara: what? Lee: Well, I figured youd probably like some Gaara: thanks. Thats sweet of you. now has slender red eyebrowsNaruto: You look WEIRD> Gaara: Like you can talk, whisker-face. Naruto: I dont have whiskers! Yondaime: Actually I meant to ask you about that Naruto: I DONT HAVE WHISKERS DAMMIT!! Yondaime: Fine, fine, you dont have whiskers. Naruto: Anyway, I wish for a huge bowl of ramen!! -A bowl of ramen falls into the room and begins floating aimlesslyNaruto: YAY!! Yondaime: Erwhat? Sakura: Trust me, just do it and get it over with.

Yondaime: FineKurenai? Kurenai: -becomes instantly healthy- Yes sir! -they make outItachi: Dammit, hes straight. Yondaime: Umyeah. Itachi: Well, with a name like Gerald Yondaime: SHUT UP!! Gaara: YES!! I LOVE YOU!! Lee: -sadGaara: I love you more of course, Lee: Lee: -happyBoost: -is in a corner, with parking boots on all four tires...and is poutingIt's so good to be behind my own keyboard again! 1. um...Kiba...due to -ahem- confusion...I think that sandwich might have had some poisonous mushrooms...just make sure you take this...-hands over medicine in glass bottle- the dose is one spoonful every six hours. Hey! 2. are there any real reasons for disliking Sakura? I think she's kinda cool. -The Muffinator 3

Kiba: Erk? What?! downs whole bottleShino: Kiba! That isnt healthy! Kiba: sure it is---falls over, out cold, and purpleKero: Well he shows a lot of promise-rolls eyesItachi: Of course there are! She has pink hair! Sakura: thats stupid! Itachi: youre stupid! Deidara: And she killed my love!! Sasori: She killed me. Kankuro: Shes a know-it-all.

Neji: Shes more of a main character than me. Orochimaru: She stalks my Sasuke. Itachi: MY Sasuke. Kisame: MY Itachi: -glompsItachi: -sighsSakura: OK! Ok already! I get it! Geez!! sits sulkingItachi: OMG your hair is being threatned! (spazes out for five minutes) here (hands frap) if you drink it your hair will be indestructable!(sp?) Kabuto: for some strange reason i have the sudden urge to hit you...hard. (punches in the gut) ah, much better. MiniDeath (P.S. throws in L)

Itachi: YAY!! Kisame: YAY! Now we can have more, crazy, hair-pulling, sex!! Itachi: ehehe-shies awayKabuto: WTF?! Its like Im as hated as Sakura! Zakura: Nah, Sakura-fans are just bitches Kabuto: Ugh-rubs stomachSakura: -glaresKabuto: -glaresL: Hellowhy are all of you trapped in a question-answering fanfic? Sakura: At least we dont have to explain it to himbasically? Fangirls. L: -nods understandingly- -eats floating chocolateNeji: Sowho are you? L: Im L. looks around for cakeKyuubi, the secret to defeating Aslan is very simple (and much easier than actually going to Narnia) You just have to burn all of the Narnia books.

I wish Asuma was there more. I throw him in. I give Kiba a lighter. Kyuubi: Ohtoo late. I had more fun this way anyway. Asuma: wtf? I didnt want to come back Kurenai: -goes frigid and hides behind TsunadeKiba: Huh? Asuma: Oh hey, light this for me before I go. hands Kiba his cigKiba: -lights itAsuma: thanks. leavesL: You guys dont have any cakeIm going back to being dead. We had cake there. leaves-Gravity comes back onEveryone: Uh-oh. -everything falls in a huge mess to the floor, including people, Gaara cushions the fall of his frap machine with Kankuro and Yondaime catches NarutoSakura: Well this is a brilliant messjust perfect Kiba: We may as well have a food fight! throws food at NarutoNaruto: -throws backSoon Kiba, Naruto and Lee are having an all-out food warwhile everyone starts cleaning. Ask Sakura 48 10 Lucifel: Hey everyone! Just wanted to say, Ive talked to a few of you on AIM, and you all rock. specially this SnowGaara kid who went and tricked me about his gender so I was talking to him like he was a girl for who-knows-how-longanyway, yeah, just a reminder that I love yall! NOW!! HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!!!

Ok, so heres the deal. The room has been changed into a massive ballroom, the light is dim and the music is softand the music is also being played by a group of skeletons, what you gonna do? At the far end of the ballroom is a huge staircase standing at the top of which are two figures; one in a dominatrix costume and the other dressed like a spring fairy. The both wear masks suiting their costumes. Dominatrix: Welcome to the party bitches!! The theme is masquerade, of course, so youre not going to know whos who. Just by the costumes each person is wearing. Spring Fairy: People will be randomly assigned to answer the questions you ask, and hopefully even they dont know theyll answer truthfully. Dominatrix: At the end everyone will line up and be unmasked. Before that though, everyone says who they think they are, and whoever no one can guess the identity of wins a fan-fucking-tastic prize. Also whoever guesses the most correctly gets a prize!! Spring Fairy: So remember, just because someone answers a question knowledgably or dresses a certain way means nothing, they may just be tricking you! Remember, theres wigs and stuffing!! Also, voices are altered so no one can use that. Dominatrix: The revealing will be at the end, so you fans dont get any prizes. Too damn bad for you. Spring Fairy: But go ahead and guess as you read anyway! Itll be fun! Dominatrix: Let the guests in, and lets start this party!!!! Kisame: you like itachi right, then how far would you go to be with him? would you go as far as to marry him? Gaara/Lee: you to are so cute together! *squeels in joy* I wish you the best (gives a big black book) don't lose that, it'll be great for those...certain nights if you know what i mean (wink wink) All evil people: I have decided to take over the world but i have no idea where to start you have any suggestions? Yondaime: Gerald?...dude that's like a totaly sexy name. here (gives a slip of paper and a cellpone) call me if you ever want to have some fun...Gerald. (wink wink) Dominatrix: Our first question goes tothe person dressed as a High-School Girl!! Answer in the first person as if you WERE Kisame, bitch! High School Girl: Id gladly be Kisames bitchheh, anyway, Im not really the marrying type, but I am content to cling to him forever. Ash Ketchum: Who wants to bet that whore is Neji?

Spring Fairy: It could always be acting. Ash: No one is that slutty through acting alone High School Girl: -gives fingerDominatrix: Cat-girl, you respond to the next comment. Cat-Girl: Yes, well, there are some doubts in this relationship Green Power Ranger: THERE IS NO DOUBT!! OUR RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT!! YOSH!!!! Everyone: -.Cat-Girl: So, do I get still get the black book? Dominatrix: Oh hell yeah. Gifts go too. Cat-Girl: Yay. Spring Fairy: Lets havethe stereo-typic-and-extremely-ripped-superhero answer the third comment! Superhero: What kind of match up is that? Dominatrix: Just answer the question bitch! Superhero: Fine, always start at home. Witch: -nods in agreementSpring Fairy: Ok! And the question for Yondaime goes tothe person dressed as Sarutobi-sensei!! Sarutobi: -smirk- well, thank you very much Superhero: Thats NOT what yondaime is like! Sarutobi: Who are you to say? sticks out tongueSuperhero: -gives fingerSarutobi: I know where YOU put those fingers

Superhero: -stomps away to the buffet tableYes, Sakura fans tend to be Beautifull Intelligent Tanatlizing Charming and Horny (and well taken care of soon after). Sorry it was too easy a target -- as was what I just said. Sigh. Sakura - Why didn't you use your necklace? or did you? Gerald/Fourth Hokage - Did you have to spend any time in a death gods stomache? Spring Fairy: haha! Nice! Eat that! Dominatrix: Oh, gag me. Thats bullshit. And you were supposed to let someone else answer. Ash: Oh come on, we already know its you two. Dominatrix: Suck my un-trimmed Fairy: AGCK!!! Dominatrix: --Toes you little freak! Fairy: you bitch. Ash: -gags a littleDominatrix: ANYway, werewolf, answer the necklace question! Werewolf: Huh? Solike Im Sakura? Dominatrix: ayup. Werewolf: -puts on highest voice he can- Im Sakura and I cant believe I forgot to use that especially since Im the brainy girlSakura!! Dominatrix: riiightso any Serial Killer: FUCK IT!! Everyone: eh? Serial Killer: -rips off mask to reveal Zabuza underneath- I dont fucking CARE about your fucking party! I want Haku, NOW!! WHERE is he?! Princess: -takes off mask- Here I am! jumps into Zabuzas arms and they go cuddle on the stairs-

Dominatrix: anywayCook? Cook: ah yes, wellunfortunately yes, but I was saved and brought on to a better place. Werewolf: How? Cook: Imnot sure really Werewolf: Huhwell, thats cool-goes and eats some moreKabuto, I'm not a huge fan of Sakura till shippuden... but even I hate you. -chucks in some squirrels which pelt Kabuto with acorns-gives dei-chan a staff and lots of ribbons- The staff is like cupids arrow, you can blast people with it and they fall in love with the next person you blast, and the ribbons are for your hair! Also, Deidara, is it possible youre a girl? I mean the only proof we have is that you have no breasts, but you have a mouth on your chest, so its not like you could grow any breasts anyways, could you just clarify your gender for me? June x Squirrels: -Come pouring in and look really confusedDominatrix: Ehmjust go after the doctor. Doctor: WTF?! Squirrels: SQUEAAAAK!!!! charge and attacks the doctorDoctor: THIS ISNT FUCKING FAIR!!! Fairy: -while squirrels chase the doctor in the background- So, Pirate, you can have the staff. Pirate: Erumok-puts it away- I dont really need it. Do you want the ribbons? Puppet: Ill take them!! Pirate: Ok. Whatever. Puppet: yay! Snuggles ribbonsFairy: God, why dont you go ahead and answer for the last one? God: Glad

Werewolf: HEY! How does someone dress like GOD?! God: How I did. Werewolf: But your costume kind of vagueI cant quite make out how you look or what you God: Exactly. Werewolf: ohwell damn. God: Anyway, I, if I am Deidara, -twitch- am definitely a man. Puppet: But terrifyingly feminine. God: And proud of it. Puppet: He is, Im sure. SmileYondaime: How do you plead to allegations that you're leading the Akatsuki, possibly from beyond the grave? Naruto: Actually, if you had been imbued with the Kyuubi, but Yondaime hadn't died, you wouldn't have been like Sasuke. Learning to harness that much power at such a tender age, with a demon whispering in your ear, (and without the tragic past that is obviously necessary for characters in the show to have if they want to be powerful) you'd probably have wound up like Itachi, which is simultaneously better and worse than winding up as Sasuke! How does THAT make you feel? Everybody: What's your favorite weapon? Ask and ye shall recieve! But as a control: no nukes, sheep, nail clippers, penguins, melon ballers, and ESPECIALLY no pandas! CIAO! Fairy: Geisha? Geisha: Ohuhm Fairy: as if you WERE Yondaime! Geisha: Not guilty because IuhI love konoha too much to everdo that Superhero: Thats better. I mean for fucks sake. Pirate: No shit. Doctor: HOW LONG UNTIL THESE FUCKING SQUIRRELS ARE GONNA LEAVE!?!

Dominatrix: Oh, deal with it! Doctor: But thats not fair!! Phantom of the Opera: -whistles gently and holds up a huge bowl of nuts- Hey squirrleys, come get em!! throws out windowSquirrels: SQUEKITY SQUEAKER!!! they all stampede out the windowPhantom: -pats hands cleanDoctor: thanks-pant- I owe you. Phantom: Always happy to. blushDoctor: I need a drink. You need one? Phantom: -blushes harder- Thanks, Doctor: No problem. goes to get themDominatrix: ok, Vampire, answer for Naruto. Vampire: I love Yondaimeer, my dad. Priest: So, cook, Im looking to get something slathered up and Cook: no. Priest: What? I cant get a saut? Cook: No. If you dont back up youll get something charred though. Priest: hehe-shuffles awayDominatrix: Knight, you answer the next one. Knight: you cut out all the good weapons! Wtf?! Puppet: No shit! Thats not fair! Knight: Well finejust send tweezers, Sarutobi/God/Puppet/Witch: FUCK YEAH!!

what are those cards? can I make one? throws in rabbit card. oh and I throw in momiji from fruits basket. what did l mean going back to being dead? he's one of my favorite charecters! Fairy: Witch? Witch: Unfortunately, no. Those cards are all pre-made. Theyre the clow cards! But my magics better! Kero: The hell it is! Witch: why arent YOU in costume! Kero: because. Ive been traumatized by enough costumes. Ash: Fair enough! Have you SEEN this food spread?! Kero: FUCK YEAH!! dives into cakesMomiji: Ohhiwhats going on? Sarutobi: KYAA!! KAWAII!! Momiji: W-what? Sarutobi: -huggles- Oh! Youre so adorable! I cant STAND it!! Cook: come here, childIll help you out. Momiji: thanks. tries to pull awaySarutobi: NO! Its MINE!! Momiji: Ahh! Let me go! Cook: -pulls harder and Momiji pops out and lands in her arms and turns into a rabbitMomiji: Oh dear Cook: Shit. Wellyou wanna go? Momiji: Please? Cook: -lets him outsideDominatrix: Ohshit

Fairy: Er, never mind that! Haha! Ls fine! Totally alive! You just read those manga like we said nothing! twitchDominatrix: Ok, we fucked that up. Fairy: Hey, youre the one in charge. Dominatrix: Fuck no Im not! Fairy: Whatever *He grins, and pounces Lucifiel...doing naughty things with her* Gaara: Thanks! *He snaps his fingers, and you a T.V. pops up...you watch as a giant mountain of Frap, with a frap waterfall pouring down all sides rises from the ground, as a mini-version rises in a corner* Have fun. Kabuto: *Sets him on fire, that no one else can see, and doesn't really burn him, but -feels- like it's burning him* Everyone: Anyone notice that Edward's gone...? P.S. *Tosses in a human form of Godzilla* Dominatrix: Like we need to know that Lucifel is getting sexied up! Eugh! Fairy: Ok. Youve all seen? The Tv has to go now Death/Witch: -reach out longingly for the tvbut it is goneFairy: anywaythe fire goes toDeath. Death: WTF? OWOWOWOWOWOW!!! Green Power Ranger: NO! that is not youthful! I will help you by beating the flames out with a curtain! -starts doing soDeath: No! Ouch! Thats not-FUCK-helping!! Witch: AwwEd IS gone isnt he? Thats sad High School Girl: He was too short Ash: Like you have standards. High school Girl: Fuck you. Ash: Im sure you would!!

Godzilla: wtf? God: whats up? Superhero: do I have I have to fight that then? Godzilla: Nah. Ill just smash the table and go. Superhero: Cool. Godzilla: -Destoys table and much of the stairs (Haku and Zabuza continue blissfully cuddling, unaware) and then leavesDominatrix: rightanyway milan: merry 50th chapter lucifel-san. and i also have ita/saku links, naru/femalekyuubi links, oro/yondaime, sasu/kabu, and gaara/panda links! amber: she likes wierd pairings. milan: um... sorry orochimaru, kata took my pics... anyone want naked yondaime pics then? dont ask where i got them... amber: ... -throws in a stretchy fabric bracelet with palm trees on it- please kill it. Fairy: Ninja, any response to the Yondaime pics? Ninja: Uh. No. Werewolf: Oh come ON! Were ALL ninja! Thats gay! Ninja: but im in black. Like a PROPER ninja. Werewolf: So youre playing the stereo-type! Ninja: I thought that was the point of Halloween? Werewolf: nu-uh! Ninja: Screw you kid. Fairy: and ghost, the bracelets yours. Ghost: whatever-throws in the fireplace on one wall.Ash: that costumes gay too! Werewolf: Just a sheet?! How boring!

Ghost: like I care. Werewolf: you should! Halloween deserves more respect! Its day of CANDY!! Ghost: Im leaving now Ash: Yeah, thats right! You back out cuz you know were RIGHT! Ghost: Yepthats what it is Neji: I don't know why I want to do this but... make out Sakura! (And then rate it!) I commandeth thou! Hina/Haku: Technically this is what happened: "Am I the only person who actually likes Sakura? Everyone (besides Sakura, Lee and Naruto): YES!!" So you didn't say anything... but then again neither did Shikamaru and I don't think he actually hates her so... Shikamaru: Since youre so "smartical" and stuff, what's 2+2? If you get the answer right you'll... get free imperceptible Ino-proff earplugs. (You know you want them!) Fairy: I put the dare on the Vampire and its with whoever he thinks is Sakura. Vampire: -walks up to Ash, and makes out with himFairy: You dont really think thats Sakura you jerk! Vampire: Sure I do. Fairy: Liar. Vampire: -shrugs and continues the make-outs- Oh, and its a ten. Ash: FUKYEAH!! High School Girl: Shikamaru does hate Sakura. Fairy: he does not. High School Girl: Sure he does. Fairy: Screw you. You dont know. High School Girl: Yes I do. Fairy: ...-twitch-

Dominatrix: Any comments from the witch and the Priest for Hinata and Haku? Haku: Sorry Sakura! Dominatrix: no! You forfeit your role for this chapter! Go glue your face to Zabuza. Haku: ok! Witch: Well, speaking for Hinata I secretly have deep-seated hatred of her because I want smaller boobs. Priest: Eh, Hakus right. He likes her. Witch: Well, Hinata doesnt. Geisha: I think Hinatauhlikes Sakura a lot Witch: Shut up you. Geisha: -whimperCook: -comfortsDominatrix: Pirate? Pirate: Erfourwtf? Dominatrix: K. have the earplugs. Doctor: If those are Ino-proof nothing must get throughI could use those Phantom: But what about hearing the nicer things? Doctor: Its worth it. Phantom: Teehee. Doctor: -Smile.Death: Thank godthe pain is gone Green Power Ranger: Are you all right? Death: if werent for the rug-beating Id be a lot

Green Power Ranger: Say no more! I know you are greatful for my youthful reflexes! I must try and find my love Gaara now! Death: I would say a lot less bruised but whatever-poutsDominatrix: OK! This is masquerade ball, so, kick up the music and lets get dancing!!! Skeletons: -begins playing some bad-ass lively tunesFairy: Get a partner and dance already! Tell me, what the FUCK is wrong with pink hair?!?! I think it is totally awsome. Also, why do you act like you do before Shippuden? You get totally awsome. Neji, here are all the episodes with Tenten so you will remember her. Also, to everyone, here are a set of paintball guns, just for fun. Fairy: Nothing! Fuck yeah! Dominatrix: -rolls eyesFairy: Catgirl, answer for Sakura. Gat-Girl: Because I was stupid little girl who thought I had to make up for being so ugly with my smartsthen I realized I didnt have those either and had to force all my friendships. Fairy: you dont get to answer any more questions you stupid cat. And anyway YOU didnt get a dance partner so nyeh. sticks out tongueCat-girl: Niether did you. Fairy: Im a supervisor. Screw you. Ninja: -while dancing with Pirate- Sowho do you think I am? Pirate: I dont knowbut I dont trust you. Ninja: Aww, why not? Pirate: I saw you eyeing me. Ninja: Can you blame me? Pirate: Iwell I Ninja: Oh, shit, the songs overbye. walks off to ask Death for the next dance-

Pirate: -twitch-what? Sarutobi: I said wanna dance! Pirate: Ohoh yeah sure Dominatrix: Witch! You get the tapes! Witch: Why do I need these? Tentens not in any really cool episodes. throws in fireplacesHigh School Girl: No one likes her anyway. Ash: She actually has a terrifyingly large fanbase considering High School girl: Considering no one likes or remembers her? Ash: Hey wait! If youre Neji how do you--? High School Girl: I guess you were wrong. walks off to dance with the SuperheroWerewolf/Ash/Cat-Girl/PowerRanger/Priest/Knight: PAINTBAL!! Ash: Screw dancing! Its paint-ball wartime!! -All out paint-ball war takes over one half of the roomI used Kyuubi's blood to make a metal copy of him that is just as powerful as Kyuubi. If he destroys it he'll die as well. (throws Metal Kyuubi in and expands the room so the dragon fits comfortably) Ninja: -raises eyebrows- oh really? Pirate: Two Kyuubis?! Werewolf: FUCK NO!! Metal Kyuubi: Bow to me, bitches!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!-paint ball goes traight into a joint in his spine- malfunc..tioncircuitscrossed Green Power Ranger: My bad! I was aiming for Ash!! Ash: BITCH! shoots power RangerGreen Power Ranger: Yosh! This how we youthful people must fight!

Superhero: -walks up to malfunctioning Kyuubi and tears him into piecesNinja: Whyd you do that? Superhero: It would have been too annoying to have two Kyuubis around. Ninja: Fair enough. Dominatrix: So the rooms biggerthe dragons still gone. Puppet: Thats too badshe was cool. Phantom: -to doctor- So, this is a pretty nice song, yeah? Doctor: yeahIm not much of a dancer though. Phantom: Thats ok. Ill make up for both of us. Doctor: Fair enough. AND NEXT WEEK THE FALL BREAK WILL START!! WOO! For that, I'll give you all whatever you want! ANYTHING! Zakura: Not everyone exactly loves you either -glares- But I still like you! You're not afraid to say your opinion! or yell it in peoples faces... Naruto: ...Ramen... No matter how ridiculous I think that is, I'm so happyy!! I'll give you ramen too! -hugs him tightlyKurenai: Why did you hide when Asuma came in to the room? there's no reason to be afraid of him... Tsunade/Orochimaru/Jiraya: Do you guys want a poker set? -throws in a poker setGood night! -falls down asleepSarutobi: Sake!! Priest: SAKE!!! Superhero: SAKE!!!!!! Geisha: Do you have any cranberry juice? Cook: before Godzilla came and smashed everything we did Geisha: Oh, thats a shame. sadCook: Ill try to find you some

Phantom: Sowhats through the doors over there? Doctor: Probably a balcony of something. Most ballrooms have them. You want to go talk? Phantom: Sure -they walk offFairy: -thinks- what the hell are they doing? Oh well-says- See, not many people like you anyway! Dominatrix: Whatever bitch. Ramen goes tothe Vampire. Vampire: Ummokwho wants it? Ash/Werewolf: ME!!! Vampire: -throws to them and they have a paint-ball shoot-out for itDominatrix: Witch, care to answer the next question? Witch: Ah yes, I hid from Asuma because I stole his wallet last time we shagged cause he wasnt paying me enou -skillet smacks him out of nowhereWitch: OWW! I thought that was for Jiraiya! Superhero: A womans skillet is for whoever she pleases. Witch: What the fuck ever Fairy: We give the poker set to the Power Ranger. Green Power Ranger: What can I do with this?! Cards are not youthful!! Shoots Ash with paintball when he turns back around and throws cards awayPriest: -snatches them up-PIERCING SCREAMDominatrix: What the fucking shit? Puppet: Its Sarutobi! Hes been killed! Stabbed in the heart!

-Sarutobi is indeed lying on the floor with a knife sticking out of his bloody chestPriest: Shit! WellIll take care of himyou all figure out who his murderer was! Fairy: this isnt supposed to be a murder mystery!! Ash: EVERYONE DOWN!! We with the weapons Green Power Range: AND THE YOUTH!! Ash: Will take care of this! Werewolf: Yeah! Now, unmask him and see if its someone we care about dying Dominatrix: Nope. We still have to wait till the end. Solve it on your own. Werewolf: Fine! We will!! Dominatrix: Good Luck with that. Question for Lucifer: Have you ever read/watched Ouran High School Host Club? If not, I recommend it D:! And question for Itachi: what are your views on twin-cest? xD'' Just out of curiosity. -drops candy bars and a dinosaur into the room- ..oops. Lucifel: first, as a basic note, Its LucifeL. Not lucifeR. Im awesome like that. Also, no, I havent. I may check it out. Probably not. Fairy: be nice. Lucifel: I amsort of Fairy: Cook, what are Itachis views on twincest? Cook: Its BETTER than incestnow excuse while I throw up for saying that Puppet/Witch/Knight: WOOT! HELL YEAH! Werewolf: YOU! Superhero! Did YOU have something against Sarutobi?! Superhero: Well, whoever it was was impersonating someone I had a great deal of respect for Werewolf: Uh-huhthank youwatch your step Superhero: -rolls eyes-

Werewolf: And noHOLY SHIT RAINING CANDY!! lunges for candyThis is my first Itachi: i inject you with a potion that makes you bald and hair can never grow back! Bwuhahaha Kiba: give Sakura her cards back or you shall feel my wrath Zakura: a special present! the strongest booze you can think of and an album of Kurenai, Anko, and Ino nude ^.- UndineDemon Puppet: VIRGIN ALERT!! Lol. Witch: Nice. whos getting injected with that? Dominatrix: Mmmthe Knight. Knight: Shit! Oh wellI guess its all rightI look ok bald Witch: you better not be one of the people I sleep with. Knight: -whimperKero: Hey, I say its ok, so its ok. Werewolf: Kibas better than some stupid girl anyway Ash: Yeah! Anyway, Mr. or Ms. Cook. Did you have anything against Sarutobi? Cook: Not really. I think he was one of the gay ones that DOESNT stare at my ass all the time. Ash: Fair enough. moves onFairy: And the album and booze go tothe Pirate! Pirate: I dontI dont even WANT these! Dominatrix: So give em here!! snatchesFairy: Hey, I gave em to the pirate! Dominatrix: And I took them! So what?! Fairy: ugh, fine whatever

-meawhileDoctor: So, how are you enjoying the party? Phantom: Itsa nice break. Doctor: Yeah, I feel the same way. Even if Sakura is being really annoying Phantom: How is she annoying you? Doctor: Its that COSTUME. I meanthe skirt is TINY. Phantom: So? Doctor: Listen, just cause I dont like her doesnt mean the girl doesnt have nice legs Phantom: Ohhohoho, I see. Doctor: Shut up. Phantom: What aboutOrochimaru? Doctor: Yeah, he has nice legs too. Phantom: Hehyeah-moves a little closerDoctor: Yes? Can I help you? Phantom: Maybe a little. smooches quickly and then runs back insideDoctor: -shakes head and follows1. other than Deidara and Sasori's reasons, those are some seriously stupid arguements for disliking Sakura so much!! pink hair? being a know-it-all? Here Sakura, have a special "You're Actually Appreciated" muffin. 2. -sighs- Kiba...hopefully you've regained consciousness by the time this review is read. there's good news and bad news. the good news: the poision won't kill you. the bad news: I hope you like purple, because that tint won't come off your skin for at least antoher chapter or so. -The Muffinator 3 Dominatrix: Muffin goes to Death. Death: Oh umthank you? Cat-Girl: -twitch, twitch-

Fairy: See, Im appreciated. Dominatrix: By a couple dumb-ass fans. Good for you. Fairy: -poutsAsh: Kibas PURPLE now?! Vampire: He was when he woke up, but he got into costume too fast. Werewolf: LOL!! Ash: That sucks Green Power Ranger: This investigation is not very youthful Werewolf: Yeah, you wanna quit? PowerRanger/Ash: -nodnodWerewolf: Cool. Dominatrix: Right Lucifel: I've finally fixed up Metal Sasuke. May I introduce to you, OMEGA SASUKE! Zakura: Is there any Yuri that you DON'T like? Everyone else: WHO WANTS CAPES? Catch you next continue! Dominatrix: Yes, yes, good to be introduced, nice to meet ya, out the door. Omega Sasuke: IbutI-is shoved outsideFairy: wth? Dominatrix: I was Not gonna deal with that again. Anyway, High School Girl answer for Zakura. High School Girl: uhm, hell NO! Yuri freaking rocks! Superhero/Pirate: -face-palmEveryone: WOOOO!! CAPES!!! -everyone is now donning the proper sort of cape, its very snazzy-

Haku: Teeheehee. spins- it swirls!! Zabuza: -swirls his cape around Haku to hold him close- yes it does -kissesHaku: Yee!! Sakura, Sasugay is gay. You deserve better so stop chasing him ok? -_- and btw oro are you gay? 0_o Raina: NU ITS NOT TRUE T_T Me: raina you know it is, sry shes one of the possibly very few oro fans, she named her boa constricter after him for god sakes.. Raina: AND i taught it to attack ^^ Me: fascinating (rolls eyes) anywhizzle, not a question but ITACHI YOUR FUCKIN HOT! Dominatrix: Phantom, answer for Sakura. Phantom: Hes NOT gay. And how can sheIdeserve better when hes the best there is! Doctor: -gives a skeptical lookDominatrix: Frighteningly convincing there. Geisha, answer for Oro. Geisha: I-uhwellhe is very gay. I think he really enjoys young boys too much to be anything less than bi so Cook: He did have Anko after all. Superhero: Anko is practically a man anyway. Cook: nono shes not. Vampire: you named your snake after Orochimaru? someone needs a life. Fairy: Cat-Girl, answer for Itachi. Cat-Girl: Thank you. I am. Dominatrix: ALL RIGHT BITCHES!! LINE UP FOR THE REVEALING!!! Fairy: Ok, so we have; a witch, a Doctor, Ash Ketchum, a Vampire, Death, a Priest, a Cook, A Green Power Ranger Green Power Ranger: YOSH!!!!

Fairy: A Ghost, a werewolf, a high school girl, a Cat-girl, a geisha, a ninja, a Puppet, God, a Knight, a Superhero, a Pirate, and a Phantom. Dominatrix: Where are the priest and Sarutobi? Fairy: I dunnoAsh will you go find them? Ash; sure.-walks over the balcony- Hello? Were doing theHOLY MONKEY CRAP WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Dominatrix: Figuresyou two stop doing that and get in here. -The two of them walk in blushing and giggling and stand in the lineFairy: Ok, anyone got a call on who the geisha is? Werewolf: Sakura?! Death: are you serious? Werewolf: Im wrong arent I? Death; Yeah, a little. Cook: Its Hinata! Hinata: Yes! Its me. blush- Oh well Dominatrix: On the High School Girl? Ash: NEJI!!! High School Girl: Fuck you, KIBA!! Kiba: You suck! Howd you know?! Neji: Maybe cuz youre the pokemon freak?! Kiba: Well FINE, Shinos the Vampire!! Shino: Why are you ratting ME out?! Cook: We all knew anyway. Sit down you guys. -they all sit grumbling-

Fairy: Calls on the Cook? Werewolf: TSUNADE!! Cook: no. Kiba: Just stop trying, NarutoFUCK I AM PURPLE!!!! Shino: Thats what you get. Ghost: Oh for fucks sake, this is ridiculous. Everyone: -looks- eh? Ghost: the Cook has been displaying motherly tendencies all night, its Kurenai. Kurenai: Well damn. sitsGhost: Death has been mostly quiet but sticking to the Green Power Ranger Kiba: Who is LEE!! Werewolf: What if hes just trying to trick you! Ghost: No, Lees not that cunning. Anyway, Death is Gaara. Gaara: -goes and pulls Lee into a cornerGhost: The dumber-than-pavement Werewolf is obviously Naruto. Naruto: HEY! Ghost: Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, Orochimaru and Kisame all like and say a lot of the same things. But, Deidara wants to be Sasoris bitch, therefore hes the puppet. Kiba: BUT HE NEVER SAID YEAH!! Deidara: You have no IDEA how hard it was too, yeahyeahyeah-sigh- it feels good yeah. Kiba: -poutsGhost: Sasori likes to think hes the master of puppetry, and who could possibly be more representative of that than God?

Sasori: -nods approvingly and sitsGhost: the knight was happy to take the bald-ness for Itachi, which means its probably Kisame. Kisame: Damntell me where Itachi is!! Ghost: The makes Itachi the Witch Kisame: -tacklesItachi: -oomphGhost: --because Orochimaru was Sarutobi and staged his own murder because he finds Sarutobis death funny. Orochimaru: Teehee, its so true!! Superhero: -punches OrochimaruPriest: Hey now Ghost: That makes Jiraiya the Priest because they were on the balcony together. Orochimaru: Yup! licks JiraiyaJiraiya: -kisses backGhost: ad disgustingly enough theyre apparently a couple now. Jiraiya: -blushSuperhero: Oo WTF?! Ghost: The superhero was defending Sarutobi, and tore apart metal Kyuubi with her bare hands Naruto: YONDAIME!?!? Ghost: --its Tsunade. Naruto: Dammit

Ghost: the Cat-Girl is Kankuro because he was eyeing the muffin so much and trashtalked Gaaras a Lees relationship. Gaara: -glares at Kankuro, who is poutingGhost: the pirate was being mostly upright and kind, and agreed with Tsunade on most thingsmaking him Yondaime. Yondaime: yep. smiles and sitsGhost: Kyuubi thought it would be really witty to dress as a Ninja because hes the only NON-ninja here. Kyuubi: Fuck you kid. Naruto: DAMN! I completely missed that! Yondaime: But that meanshe waseh? twitchyGhost: Of course, Kyuubi forgot abut Akamaru whos also technically not a ninjaand happens to be costumed as a course of the buffet tableI only noticed when he dodged Godzilla. Akamaru: arf! Bark yap! damn Godzilla! I could have won!Ghost: Kabutos the doctor, by elimination and because he also thought hed be witty and fool everyone by doing the obvious. Naruto: So that meansYOURE KIMIMARO!!! Ghost: No. No Im not. Naruto: DAMMIT!! Hinata: Thats Shikamaru Naruto. Shino: Yeah, we all knew cause he had the laziest costume. Shikamaru: -takes off sheet- like this party was worth a complicated one. Anyway, since Im on a roll, I want to say that it was a very convincing show, but the Fairy and Dominatrix Kiba: Sakura and Zakura, we know. Ghost: No. The Dominatrix is Sakura and the Fairy is Zakura. I know because dominatrix knew about Kabuto and kept staring at him all night.

Sakura: I did not! And you suck! We worked so hard on impersonating each other! Shikamaru: You slipped up, sorry. Zakura: -gives fingerNaruto: no waythat doesnt make sense!! Yondaime: -pat, patShikamaru: Anyway, that leaves the phantom. This choice made sense because Kimis good at singing and Kimimaro: -coming out of the bathroom in a bridal dress- What am I now? Sorry, I had some cranberry juice when I got here and it didnt agree with me, Ive been in the bathroom all nightso what were we saying? Shikamaru: -stares in horror- Ibutyou-looks from phantom, to Kimi, and backWHAT THE HELL?!?! Phantom: -lets out a high, horrible laughterAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!! Sakura: No a huge cloud of smoke appears, the phantom get up is thrown outShikamaru: -twitch-and when it clearsSakura/Shikamaru: NOOOOO!!! -Ino is standing among themIno: Thats right! Hahah! I fooled you all! I knew I could! Even brainy old Shikamaru!! Kabuto: -twitch- But I thought.I mean, Kimi Ino: -clings onto Kabutos arm- Yes, thank you so much for the lovely night! So, Sakura, arent you happy to see me? Lucifel: DUNDUNDUNNNNN!!!! Ok, last little question:

Kyuubi - supposedly there was a man called uchiha madara that could control you...is that true? happy Halloween! Kyuubi: no. There never was. Never will be. I rock ass. Yondaime: You were HITTING on me!! Lucifel: Yep. So, a lot to cover in the next chapter, huh? The fan said it best. Happy Halloween everyone!! Sakura: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ask Sakura 49 9 Lucifel: Sorry People. Busy weekend. SAT and DANE FREAKING COOK. So, I had a good time. Very busy, but was good.

And then shit happened. As you know, writing this is a spontaneous process for me. And, unfortunately, my flashdrive broke on Wednesday night (when this was supposed to be up) and I lost all that I had written, I had to re-write it. Then, I left my laptop at the gameshop we were at which killed more writing time. Basically, everything has been out to get me. I cant tell you how sorry I am. This is almost four whole days lateunacceptable. Next one will be up on-schedule. If it KILLS me. Nowwhere were we? Sakura: WTFOMGBBQZGLKFHVNAJTOMEDKDJDJKTNYHAVGGTZSF?!?! Ino: Heh, as articulate as ever, arent you? Sakura: Youyou Shikamaru: Ihowbutit made sensehow could I? Ino: Sorry, Shika, I guess youre not THAT smart after all huh?! Shikamaru: notthatsmart? Ino: U-huh! Shikamaru: -twitch, twitchKabuto: YOU FUCKING KISSED ME?!?! Sakura: you KISSED him!?!? Kimimaro: YOU KISSED HIM?!?!?! Orochimaru: You kissed him? Tsunade: -to Jiraiya, pointing at Oro- YOU KISSED HIM!!!!! Jiraiya: -blushing- I kissed him. Yondaime: -To Kyuubi- YOU DANCED WITH ME!! Kyuubi: Given the current situation your complaint seems a little weak, dont you think? Yondaime: butIyou Zakura: Moving on to questions.

INO! -throws flowers around the room Ino, do us a favor and get Sakura and Kabuto together already, because your totally awesome and probably the only person who can do that. Kyuubi do you have a superiority complex? -Gives Kiba and Deidara cupcakesJune Ino: Yes, I know. Im amazing. And why would I get them together? Sakura obviously doesnt a deserve a cutie like this! leans against KabutoKabuto: Phwa? Kyuubi: no. I AM superior. Deidara: Cupcake!! omnomonom- yeah Kiba: Kickass!! Want some Kero? Kero: HELL YEAH KID!! Ill never turn down a form of cake! gobblesAkamaru: -grumblegrowl.Tsunade: JiraiyaWHAT THE FUCK!?!? Jiraiya: WellwejustI dunno Orochimaru: Were getting married!! Tsunade: WHAT?!? Jiraiya: Well, we were talking and one thing led towait, WHAT?! Orochimaru: Well, I figured if we started with that the truth wouldnt be so shocking and maybe Tsunade: no! No thats retarded! How dare you! Orochimaru: Ohwell what if I tell you Im pregnant? Jiraiya: ACK!! Youreyoure not are you? I meanwe havent evennot reallyI just Orochimaru: oh Jiraiya Tsunade: -twitch-

Zakura: is it time for another flashback? Sakura: AGH!! NOO!! Zakura: this one isnt even about you! Although, if you wanna see that one again Saku/Kabu: NO!! Zakura: Ok then. FLASHBACK Jiraiya: -carrying Oro onto the balcony after the staged murder- I cant BELIEVE you made me help you with that!! Orochimaru: -giggling uncontrollably- You know it was funny! Jiraiya: Nosnrrk- No. No it wasnt. Orochimaru: You almost laughed!! Jiraiya: I did not! Orochimaru: Oh yes you did! Jiraiya: Did not!! Orochimaru: Ohwell then well fix it. tackles and begins ticklingJiraiya: NOOOO! tickles back-after a long while they lie panting beside each otherand Oro cuddles up to himJiraiya: Orodont. Orochimaru: Why not? Jiraiya: Its justnot right. Orochimaru: Why not? Jiraiya: You have no right to ask that question. Orochimaru: yeah

-after a long silenceJiraiya: Do youdo you ever regret any of it? Orochimaru: no Jiraiya: Its probably my imagination but, did you just hesitate? Orochimaru: I shouldnt say it. Jiraiya: Just tell me. Orochimaru: There was one thing. Jiraiya: -turns on his side to face Oro- yeah? Orochimaru: -looks at him- I never told you how much I loved you. Jiraiya: Well, I loved you too. Its your fault nothing happened. Orochimaru: I know. Jiraiya: Fuckfuck Orochimaru: Whats wrong? Jiraiya: I just wishsomething could work. No fuck it. It will. I should be trying to kill you right nowbut you know what. Everything is so fucked upI just want to forget it. Pretend like were justhow we used to be. Orochimaru: I can do that. Ive been pretending not to be heart-broken for years. Jiraiya: -kissesOrochimaru: -kisses back and they start having a sweet momentwhich gets hot and heavy in a hurry. MeowDei/Kisa/Ita/Sas: AWWWWWWW!! Saku/Naru: EWWWWWW!!! Tsunade: -gaping shockHeh...Shika's definitely smarter than me. I only got about two-thirds of them... (Gives Shikamaru a brain-shaped hat... which won't come off) Kyuubi, you had me totally fooled! You tricky... kitsune?

Itachi: Do you have a sixth sense for finding bald people? Ino: Have you considered using your hair as a weapon? Shikamaru: -ignores hat and goes to a corner to sit in shockKyuubi: Damn right Im tricky. Yondaime you would know about that, wouldnt y Yondaime: SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!! Naruto: Im so afraid. Itachi: nowhy? Kisame: Bald is beautiful! Kiba: But fish are ugly. Kisame: fuck you. Ino: I DID, in the chuunin exam! You dont pay much attention, do you? clings on Kabutos armKurenai: What was the REAL reason that you hid from Asuma? Yondaime: Do you miss Kushina? Shikamaru: It's okay, you're still smart, even though you didn't know that the Phantom was Ino -pats on the back and gives a hugIno: BACK OFF!! Yondi is taken! ...And he's dead! Go drewl after Shikamaru or Sasuke or whatever! ...And nice to see you here. And why do you have a crush on Sasuke? And what did it feel like when you found out that Sakura had a crush on Sasuke and that you felt that you couldn't be friends anymore because of that?

Kurenai: Ohwell Itachi: that WAS the real reason. Kurenai: it was not! After the whole divorce its just awkward Itachi: My versions better. Kurenai: Fuck off. Yondaime: Yesvery much-tears upKyuubi: -slaps assYondaime: WHAT THE HELL?! Kyuubi: -smirks-

Shikamaru: Dont touch me. glaresIno: I wasnt hitting on Yondaimebut anyway, I like Sasuke because he was the best-looking, strongest guy my age, and would obviously bring in lots of money with his skills!

Zakura: At least shes honest about being a slut. Sakura: Dont you DARE start taking her side! Zakura: Hey, I stand by whoevers the most honest, ok? Sakura: the world hates me Naru/Lee: NO IT DOESNT!! Sakura: -sighsIno: Anway, I knew I wouldnt keep Sakura around long anyway. She was just a charity case so I could get some good points. Sakura: -gaping horrorTsunade: -continuing gaping horrorSakura- being the nice girl that wears her emotions on her sleeve makes it really easy to stab someone in the back. (No one suspects you. They also tend to forget you have done it.) Have you ever used this ability, and if so, when? I throw in a jakuzi full of water and two Lina Inverse style fire balls to heat it up. One misses and hits rolls 2d20 - Kabuto's hair? (rolls again and again and...) Hinata is too cute so Kabuto's hair it is.

Sakura: No. No Im not a bitch like that. Theres more than enough back-stabbing going on around here without me. Ino: Oh whatever. Such a whiny bitch Sakura: -sulking gets into the hot tubKiba: You ahknow you youre in your clothes right? Sakura: Forget you. Kabuto: WTF?! OWOWOWOWOWOOWOWWWW!?!? Ino: Oh no!! jumps on him and smothers fire with shirt until hes ok again and shes left straddling him- you ok? Kabuto: Ummyes?

Ino: Oh good! Well, hey, good thing I wore my bikini under my clthes today! strips into the skimpiest bikini EVAR and gets into the jacuzzi- Join us Kabuto! Kabuto: Idont have a suit? Ino: so? You wear boxers dont you? Just get into those! Kabuto: UhIm notcomfortable Ino: -pulls off his shirts and pantses him- there! Perfect! Sakura: -gaping terror (upgrading from horror)Kabuto: -gets into Jacuzzi for sake of warmthOrochimaru: Oh mypoor Kabuto. Me:... anywhizzle my stupid baka bro wants to know if gaara is permanetly caked in sand. Brother is dumbass... And DEIDEIS HERE NOW? YAY (hugs deidara) ur awesome ^^ (hands deidara a cookie) And Gaara and itachi, you like frapuchinoes (or however its spelled) lol so do I here u guys (hands them millions of frappuchinoes)
Itachi, your not going blind, its a rumor right? RIGHT? Ok off I go for now lemmee just get my friend here (raina): no ill just crawl home to my fuckin emo box thankyou very much

Deidara: teehee! Anywhizzle! What a great word, yeah! Sasori: Youreway too easily pleased. Deidara: Well yeah. Im with you, yeah. Everyone: OH SNAP!! Deidara: you know I love you yeah. Sasori: very nice. Deidara: Been here for a while, yeah. But hi, yeah! YAY COOKIE!! Lee: Ill answer the questionno. wiggles eyebrowsGaara: -smirk- Yeah, you know all about that Kankuro: meow. Gaara: frap!! pounces-

Itachi: YAYYY!! Oh and here I can see fine, but yeah, my eyesight kind of sucks. Its cool, its character depth. Deidara: Lol!! Emobox! Itachi: haha, say hi to my Ototo!! Lol. I have to say I only guessed a few of them... but INO! Yes you are better than Sakura but still... Ino you are more of a bimbo than pinky. plus get off Kabuto you fish! Maru-dono - Woo! You finally have Jiraiya! Which straightners do you use? Ino - How often do you have to bleach your hair? and don't you find being a A-class bitch 24/7 hard? Hina-hime - *prods with sparkly wand* You will now dress like Princess Peach(from mario) for as long as mentally possible. Luci!! I love the halloween special XD Do you want me to get my friend to draw everyone in their costumes? Ino: Well of course. Im the best at everything I do! Neji: oh no you didnt! Im the best whore there is! Kiba: Yeah! No one out-whores Neji! Ino: No, see maybe youve been with more people, but thats just cause Im able to keep them coming back so I dont need a new man every night. Neji: You bitch! Kiba: No you didnt!! Nejis more a of a whore than you could ever be! Ino: Yeah, Im sure hed like you to think so. Kiba: its true! Dammit, Neji, dont listen to her. Shes a liar. I know youre a whore. A REAL whore. Neji: thanksthank you Kibathat, that means a lot. Shino: are you kidding me? Ino: -shrugs- Why should I get off a cutie like him anyway? cuddles up to KabutoKabuto: -uneasy stillnessOrochimaru: Well, aside from using high-class shampoo and conditioner its all-natural!

Jiraiya: Ill go all-natural. Orochimaru: the hell you will. I dont know what youve got! Jiraiya: thanks a lot Oro. Tsunade: -goes and drinksIno: My hair is natural too! Unlike SOME people. Sakura: My hair IS natural! God! Shikamaru: -twitchity twitch- -pulls out letter nad begins scribbling madly to ChojiIno: And no, of course not. It gets me the attention I want and the respect I deserve. Zakura: -rolls eyesHinata: Oh ummits Kiba/Jira/Naru: -cuteness nosebleed!!Zakura: You look adorable! Hinata: But it itches Kiba: baby, tell me where to scratch Shino: Down boy. smacksHinata: -blushing furiouslyLucifel: Its up to you guys, but I always love fanart!! Ino: Yay! Youre here! now i can do this! (pulls out bazooka and shoots at Ino) sakura:(hands her the bazooka) have fun! Deidara: guess what!? i'm going to be you for halloween! i' m almost done with the costume. everyone else: i'm thinking of writing a scifi/fantacy story be i can decide on something, should i make satan flambointly gay? MiniDeath Ino: WHAT THE HELL?! Sakura: MUWAHAHAHAHAH!!

Kurenai: -gankSakura: My bazooka! Kurenai: None of that. Sakura: You cause absolute violence all the time! No fair! Kurenai: Against pervs and villains. Inos technically still a good person Sakura: The hell she is Deidara: Yay! Fandom! Yeah! How you pulling off the hands? Orochimaru: dude, Satan IS flamboyantly gay! Itachi: I didnt know there was another way he could be Jiraiya: -to Oro- who made you a satan expert? Orochimaru: Me, when I met and shanked him. :) Jiraiya: right. Ok Taki-Kun: Hi there again... I've got my friend Kari-Chan here withKari-Chan: OMG IT'S INO! *glomps Ino* YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY Taki-Kun: as it seems that Kari-Chan is now incapable of asking her question it seems I have to do them nowWhy the hell did you kiss Kabuto? I mean he tried to kill Sasuke! And he's Totally GAY! JA NE ALL Ino: UMPH!! is knocked to the bottom of the jucuzziSakura: -puts foot on chestKurenai: Sakura Sakura: Oh FINE. lets Ino upIno: -gasps, for air, clinging to Kabuto- Oh manI thought I would drown-leans against himKabuto: -goes stiff- Umyeah Sakura: you gotta be kidding me

Kabuto: And Im not TOTALLY straight Sakura: -gets up, stalks offKabuto: -is distractedIno: why wouldnt I? Hes a real sweetheart, and super cute. Kabuto: -blush1. Tsunade: Who do you want to be Hokage when you finally step down from your post as the fifth? 2. Ino: I was going to ask you if it was true that you're a slut, but you seem to have confirmed that already. So now I'll ask, considering that your dad seems like the really overprotective type, is it hard to hide the fact that you're a slut from him? Tsunade: Someone responsible, and passionate. Lee has plenty of passion, not enough brains, Sasuke is talented, but doesnt care enough. Naruto: -perks up happilyTsunade: and NOT Naruto. Naruto: -REJECTEDKyuubi: Ouch. Yondaime: Seriously? Tsunade: No, but if I let him know that then he wont work as hard anymore. Yondaime: -nod, nodIno: Oh, well he is protective but Kiba: you whore yourself to him too!! Admit it! Ino: NO! THATS DISGUSTING!! Itachi: why? Its just cansanuinity!! Kankuro: YEwait, what? Itachi: Teeheehee-smileSasori: thats the technical way of saying incest.

Lucifel: I found that out in biology earlier this week. I tried SO hard not to laugh. ^^
Kiba: your dead to, i planted a bomb in Akamaru, give Sakura the cards or he dies, if you try to take it out of him he shall blow up Zakura: the booze and album again UndineDemon (my mom is the devil and my grandmother is god)

Kiba: AACCK!?!? WHAT NO?!? Akamaru: -looks upKiba: I CANT GIVE UP MY CARDS!! Akamaru: -rolls eyes and lies down to dieKiba: -runs over to Shikamaru- Shika! You have to help me!! Shikamaru: noIll get it wrongyoure just as smart as me Kiba: Are you kidding me?! Im the dumbest person here!! Naruto: -GASP- You know what?! Ill make my own country! RAMEN COUNTRY!! Ill be RAMEN-KAGE!! Kiba: okmaybe besides Narutobut you can get me out of here! No one else! Shikamaru: Ohask Yondaime. Kiba: Hes busy avoiding Kyuubi! Shikamaru: Im busy avoiding everyone!! Youre troublesome!! Kiba: But youre the one in the brain hat!! Shikamaru: So what if Im thewait, what?!? tries to pull off hat- Oh fuckfine, now I need to vent frustration. Hand your cards to Sakura. Kiba: But Shikamaru: HARUNO Sakura. Kiba: -hands over cardsSakura: I dont even want these! hands backKiba: Ohwait

Akamaru: -coughs up bombShikamaru: Yeah, see? Its disengaged. Kiba: Wowyou ARE smart!! Shikamaru: Dont patronize me. sulksZakura: Yo! Baa-chan! Wanna drink? Tsunade: Iuhyeah-they start drinking togetherHT: I just so happened to come back when ino came in? dammit! amber: however this makes things interesting. so, ino, do you like kabuto? that would cause a conflict. HT: stop using difficult words amber. anyway, ino, are you over sasuke? amber: oh, thanks for killing lerica. HT: OMG! YOU HAD LERICA!? KATA IS GOING TO KILL ME! NOES! amber: oh, and does anyone know sasuke's greatest fear? i also need to know harry potter's fear. Ino: Well, sure. Hes good-looking and niceand have you seen that ass? grabs said assKabuto: Oo Ino: And Sasuke is just a solid marrying idea. Hes the best person for marriage (and sex) available! I know what I want and go for it. Kabuto: Huhcommendable Sakura: what?! Kabuto: -shrugs- well it is Deidara: LOLZ! Dead fans yay! Kisame: haha, rockin. Itachi: -rolls eyes- Oh Kisame Naruto: Well, at least Harrys worst fear is scabs. Sakura: wait--What?!

Naruto: Yeahoh come ON. He wasnt really afraid of fear itself, thats retarded. He was obviously scared of the scabs on the dementors hands. Sakura: Iahmaybe Shikamaru: -nodsIno: Anyway. Sasukes not afraid of anything. Orochimaru: Pinapple. Naruto: what? Orochimaru: Yeah. We had it at dinner in the hideout once, and he totally freaked out. It was hilarious. Shikamaru: -snort- seriously? Orochimaru: Yeah. Shikamaru: -nodsOrochimaru: -curiousI dare everyone to a shred off! whoever does the best guitar solo gets anything they want! BUT they will have to wait till next chapter to get it.

Zakura: Doesnt anyone even WANT to challenge Kiba? Everyone: -dead stillYondaime: Sure, why not. Kiba: waityoure serious? Yondaime: Yeahwhy wouldnt I be? Kiba: -gape- Ummok? -a huge stage is set up in the roomZakura: Kiba! Go! Kiba: -does Free Bird. Masterfully.Zakura: cool, cool. Gerald?

Yondaime: -gets up, and performs Black BettyBLAM DA BAM!! Everyone: -MASSIVE CHEERINGZakura: WellKibas out-done. Kiba: Oo Nooooo!! Yondaime: wowkickass. Kyuubi: Cute ass, and he plays guitar. Yondaime: STOP that! Kyuubi: Ok, listen, youre the only person to EVER best me in competition. Dont you think Id be a little turned on by that? Yondaime: eep Kyuubi: -smirkZakura: So, what do you want as a prize, Gerald. Anything you want. Since youre sensible I give you no boundaries. Yondaime: anything? Zakura: yep. Anything. Yondaime: I could really go for some ramen Kiba: holy shit. He really is Narutos dad. Zakura: youre kidding right? Yondaime: no. I have no regrets in my life, so theres nothing major to ask for. So, I live by the moments and right now, I have a huge ramen carving. HA! Ino was the Phantom! -singing- Shi-ka was WRONG-!! Yondaime: Speaking of being wrong. I'm VERY sorry but the correct answer to "What is 2+2" would be "A math problem." I'll be needing those earplugs back. Kabuto:... Ino... how in the FREAKING world did you mistake KIMI for INO?! Ino:... don't you have your OWN fic? Sakura: Answer this TRUTHFULLY, who in PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES (not in

personality) do you think is hotter(a.k.a. more gorgeous, better looking, FINER!) Itachi Uchiha or Sasuke Uchiha? Shikamaru:I hate you. All of you. Youre the most troublesome bunch of people ever. Lee: Dont say that! Its not YOUTHFUL!! Gaara: -kisses so he doesnt rant.Lee: -is happily distractedYondaime: Ioh wow. Thats Shikamaru-like annoyance. Lucifel: Nice job on that one. Im impressed. Yondaime: And I could really use those earplugs now Ino: -has been babbling to Kabuto nonstopKabuto: -actually seems to be listeningSakura: Wtf? Kabuto: whuoh. Welltheyreboth blonde, and I know Kimi has a crtush on meI just figured he got a little tipsy Ino: Instead, I knew EXACTLY what I was doing. winkKabuto: erm-blushIno: I DID. But when it ended all of the interesting people went here so I decided I may as well follow. Ive been watching for a while now...heh. Sakura: -twitch- umwelldammit. Itachi. Itachi: this again? I just got the idea out of my head Sakura: ONLY because hes taller with nicer hair! Ino: Meow to that. Sakura: -glareshah, what great idea, I loved everyone's costumes! and Ino's here! so besides sasuke who do you like ( like enough to marry, or at least date)

Orochimaru I will never forgive you for killing the hokage your joke was stupid! I give a butcher knife to the fourth hokage so he can kill orochimaru! Lucifel: thank you!! Love you too! Naruto: Gaaaay. Lucifel: I know you are but what am I? Ino: Oh, I could see marrying Shikamaru. Shikamaru: -twitchIno: I mean, he has such a stable futureand then maybe Neji, since hes got at least partially-good blood. Neji: Bitch Ino: and then this guy right here! leans on Kabuto with bewbs- hes just too hot for words!! Kabuto: -awkwardOrochimaru: Oh come on! It was FUNNY!! -butcher knife goes flying and Oro narrowly dodges.- WTF?! Tsunade: -whistlesYondaime: I WASNT GONNA THROW THAT!! Tsunade: So? Look, Im tipsy, my aim sucks anyway Jiraiya: No wonder you almost hit me! Tsunade: Nah, that was my second hope anyway *Grins, as he swings his tails about, tickleing Lucifiel-chan with them* Ino: Welcome, Ino, to the horrible, horrible room of -torture-. I -do hope your ready. First dare, kiss Sakura, then Zakura, for ten minutes each, with lots of tounge. To make up for all the time you -weren't- in there. Kabuto: I'm lazy about torturing you this week, so all you have to do is pinch your arm every hour... Yondaime: I dare you to make a comment on Tsunade's boobs. P.S. *Tosses in Emperor Palpatine, and Darth Vader* Lucifel: teehee, you scoundrel.

Ino: I dont have to do that right? Oro/Jira/Ita/Dei: OH YEAH YA DO!! Sakura: NOOO-MPPH-Ino and Sakura are forced to make out-Ino and Zakura make outIno: that was Zakura: Damn! Woman has quite the tongue! Sakura: -gags a little bitIno: ewwewweww Kabuto: -trying to hide nosebleedOrochimaru: You get straighter by the minuteits cute. Jiraiya: -has fainted from blood-lossKabuto: -rolls eyes and pinches selfIno: Ill pinch you Kabuto: Oo Yondaime: Ummtheyre large? Tsunade: -nod, nodPalpatine: YO my peeps! What is up? Vader: Word. Palpatine: I was chillin on my smallmoon/space station and suddenly its like what shizz-zat!! Im in a whole new world yo! Vader: word up, dog. Kiba: Umyou guys arent exactly

Vader: Bitch! Shut yo mouth before I teach you who yo daddy is! You know who yo daddy is, boy? Palpatine: Tell em V-Dog. Vader: I am yo daddy, be-yotch! And you know its true! Palpatine: Hellz yeah, dog-boy. You been SCHOOLED!! Vader: Yo, lets bounce. I gotsta get my armor polished for my big meeting with grandlabel-master dis evening. Palpatine: Fo sho V-dog. I down wit you. Lets roll. -they leaveEveryone: wtf? Kiba: All my childhoodcrushed ha ha, nice costume Kyuubi. Here's caldron of halloween candy for you all to share. lets have Yondaimei smooch whoever he least wants to kiss right now. and here's a pair of wedding rings for whoever wants to get married coz I'm getting married this Sunday! Kyuubi: Damn right bitch. Kurenai: CANDY!! takes all the chocolate to a cornerYondaime: Oh no Orochimaru: WHOOO!! DO IT!! Yondaime: I dont wanna Kyuubi: -grabs and pulls into a massive kissYondaime: -pulls away gaspingZakura: Hey, doesnt count unless you kiss back! Yondaime: Wha Kyuubi: -does it againYondaime: -kisses back-

Orochimaru: WOOHOO!! YEAH!! Yondaime: -is dizzyWedding rings: -are takenLucifel: But by who? Why dont you read the next chapterina fewdaysand find out?! Im sorry again. Thanks for your patience. See you all later!!

Ask Sakura 50 Lucifel: Ok, by on time, I meant one day late but you all know this is actually a very good job on my part. So bite me. Just so were clear, everyone is back in the usual room, with a hot-tub in one corner and a sulking Shikamaru with a brain-hat in the other.

Also, I just wanted to mention I saw pretty much ALL my usual fans this time around, some that I hadnt heard from in a bit, and just want5d to say how much I love you guys!! SO!! CHAPTER FIFTY!!! WOOT!! Thats FIFTY FREAKING CHAPTERS OF RANDOM CRAZINESS!! WHOOOO!!! Also, I got my license!! I is a legal driver!! Yay!! And a new cell! Things are going good, which only means more hell for our casthehe. Ok, moving on. Aww Hina, you look so cute XD glad I thought of it like HELL Ino's a good person... Sorry blondie but your bimbo-iness is like the plague, no one wants it or you Ino... is it possible to be with a guy who flinches every time you touch him? Though I do agree Kabuto-kun is super cute XD O Shikamaru... what did you learn before about plot holes? Bad things come to people who use them, I shall plot your doom... you are warned! LOVE THIS FIC He-Yan Hinata: Th-thank youbut it itches Neji: Ill scratch it for you Kiba: Thats right! Defend your whoring title! Ino: But thats INCEST!! Itachi: No, thats JUST incest!! Ino: ewwKabuto, you think its gross dont you? Kabuto: Well, I generally find Itachi annoying and disgusting, but Ive kinda gone numb to the whole incest thing Ino: Ohwell, everyone has SOME flaws. clingKabuto: -shiftsIno: I AM a good person! I do lots for my community, and Im GORGEOUS!! Kiba: Feh, Neji serves the community better than you. Neji: Yeah, because I dont discriminate who I sleep with. Ino: Ive said before, Im a QUALITY slut, not quantity. It just means Ill last longer to sleep with people because Im not spreading diseases.

Neji: I DONT HAVE DISEASES!! Ino: Of course you dontanyway, of course it is! Its just a matter of forcing him to enjoy or get used to it. Orochimaru: Besides, Kabutos not flinching. Hes shifting his weight, and blushing. Which means hes embarrassedbut flattered. Kabuto: We Sakura: WHAT?! Orochimaru: Yep. Kabuto: Thats not Orochimaru: you know it is. Kabuto: -turns bright red and shuts up while Ino fawns over himShikamaru: Finewhatever. sulks- Ill just shut up and never talk again. scribbles to ChojiIno-chan! -Gives a crown- Ne, since your so awesome... who do you think would make an ideal lover for Naru-chan? -Gives Naru some ramenDei-chan! -gives some fireworks- well done on pwning Sasori with the easily pleased... have fun! -Blinks- Where did Zabuza and Haku go? Ooh. -bets on Oro and Jiraiya getting marriedJune x Ino: For NARUTO? A lover?! Dont make me laugh!! Narutos probably never kissed anything other than his pillow! Gaara: Hey bitch! Watch what you say about my best friend. Ino: Oh you know its true. Gaara: Actually, I know for a fact its not. And you know, usually I dont pay attention to un-interesting, stupid, only-good-for-mediocre-sex people like you, but if you start ragging on anyone I care about in the slightest I WILL sand-coffin your plastic face. Ino: -stunnedNaruto: -stunned-

Lee: YOSH!! THAT WAS A SUPER-YOUTHFUL THREAT!! I LOVE YOU GAARA!! Itachi: For the record, who do you care about? Gaara: Lee, Naruto, Kimimaro, and Kankuro. And Fraps. Itachi: Ah. I see. Naruto: You never did that before when people made fun of me Gaara: Before they werent as annoying as she is. They have a sort-of right to make fun of you. Not that bimbo. Ino: Kabuto!! Can you believe how mean he was!! clings to Kabuto- I need comfort! Kabuto: -pats shoulderSakura: -twitchSasori: Oh F Deidara: FIREWORKS FTW YEAH!!! sets them all offThere is several minutes of massive, colorful exploding and finally it settles and the room is still in tact but everything inside is broken and burnedincluding the people. But not including Hinatas dress or Shikamarus hat. Hinata: well, thats handy. Shikamaru: -rolls eyesZakura: -shaking off burns- Nice job, Dei. Deidara: -gives thumbs up from where he lying dazed on the groundZakura: Zabuza and haku? Oh, theyre still hereIm surprised Hakus managing to breathe Ino: Isnt that girl a little young for that man? Kabuto: Yes, and thats a boy. Ino: Oheww.

Itachi: YOU DID NOT JUST SAY EWW ABOUT FRIGGIN HAKU!! Zabuza: -suddenly there- WHO said that? Ino: -points at SakuraZabuza: -punches SakuraSakura: Shes a liar!! It was her! Zabuza: You deserved to be punched anyway Sakura: HEY! Haku: Oh come back and make me feel beautiful darling!! Zabuza: -is gone in an instantTsunade: -twitchesOrochimaru: Haha, no. We wont be getting married. We have to go back to trying to kill each other after this Jiraiya: -sighTsunade: -twitchItachi: People are really twitchy latelygeez. Sakura you NEED to let go of the obsessive fangirl shit. Sasuke is a gay, emo who looks like a stripper and he needs to DIE! Orochimaru,Itachi,and Kabuto are right. oh! Orochimaru is BAD ASS! Kabuto and Itachi are hot amd yes, Gaara ia SEXY! so Sakura, just MOVE on!! Sasuke is GAY. G-A-Y! his NAME proves it Sasuke- Sasgay! they RHYME for pete's sake! bye!, Suna's Assassin Sakura: What happened to not taking these kind of reviews?! Zakura: This one is kind of funny. I mean, all this ranting for a subject completely overwrought. Sometimes its annoying, but this chick pulls it off!! Sakura: Sasuke is great! I dont care what anyone says! If nothing else hes a brave, powerful ninja! Shikamaru: -scoff-

Sakura: All right, smarty-pants, why isnt he? Shikamaru: Because if he was brave he would be able to face up to the people here. You know he knows were here. Also, if he were brave hed be able to go without obsessing over his brother. Hes afraid to go into the future, so he keeps running back to the past. Naruto: Holy shitthats deep. Orochimaru: lol! And true! Itachi: I dont mind!! Sakura you should also consider Gaara-sama! he is totally cool! this is for gaara: KILL SASUKE PLEASE HE IS AN ANNOYING GAY ASS EMO PLEASE?? I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE! DO IT FOR THE COOKIE AND SAKURA. Sakura: -shockGaara: -horrorGaa/Saku: NO!! WO guess who, your fave cookie baking psycho ^_~ I didnt bring Raina cuz shes still a little miffed so yeah. Anywhizzle (btw deidei feel free to use the word since u like it) to the questionable questions yes! Gaara and Itachi, how did u 2 get so awesome? (hands frappuchinos) Orochimaru, were u always gay? And Ino...why do u like EVERYONE Sakura has interests in? cant u find someone else? And this time, COOKIES FOR EVERYONE (pelts everyone with chocolaty chip goodness) Deidara: haha, is she still in her emo-box, yeah? This girl is my favorite, yeah. Sasori: Youre fuckin weird. Deidara: Anywhizzlehahahaanywhizzle Gaara: Its all naturalalso, Fraps are automatic awesome enhancement. Itachi: Word up! gulps frapOrochimaru: Yup! But not always a pedophile! You have to grow up before you can be one of those!

Jiraiya: what have I got myself into? Tsunade: -goes numb from twitching so muchIno: what can I say? The one thing Sakura does right is pick men! Its just less work for me! Sakura: god I hate you. Ino: -smilesDeidara: Anywhizzle!! Kiba: COOKIES!! he snatches- Come on Kero! Come eat! Shino: Uh, Kiba, what about Akamaru? Kiba: Dogs cant eat chocolate! He wont mind! Shino: -eyes the depressed Akamaru lying across Shikamarus lap- Ok then Kibe/Kero: YAAAAAAA!! go on feeding frenzy-steps back shocked out of her mind, but gets mad in a second- YOU DID -NOT- JUST DO THAT, SHIKAMARU! -glares hard- as a punishment, I order you to make out with Ino for ten minutes! Lots of tongue! HURRY Yondaime: NO! KYUUBI DESTROYED YOUR SMEXINESS BY KISSING YOU! It's okay, I'll save you! -hands over a remote control- with this little thing, you can do all kinds of stuff to Kyuubi! Electrical shock, drowning without water anywhere near him, sponge bath-I mean internal bleeding etc. And he, and no one else, can't destroy it! Am I a good girl now?!? Jiraiya: I am so disappointed in you... What about Icha Icha?! Is it going to become gay porn or something?!? CONGRATS TO THE ONE THAT GETS THE RINGS! AND LOTS OF HUGGLES AND WEDDING CAKE! Adios! Shikamaru: no. Zakura: yep. Ino: Oh wellfine! pouncesShikamaru: MPFH!! Zakura: Beter start kissing back!

Shikamaru: -kisses back-it is doneIno: -skips back over to KabutoShikamaru: -throws up a littleKabuto: That wasahintense. Ino: thats how I do everything. winkKabuto: -blushYondaime: Oh ummokHes been ignoring me this chapter so Kyuubi: -taps shoulder- Ahem. Yondaime: Eep, what? Kyuubi: -holds out hand- If I may? Yondaime: -nervously hands over remoteKyuubi: -folds remote in half, twists, crunches, burns, melts and incinerates the thingYeah, you fans forgetIm above and beyond all fan-power. Im only here for kicks, Lucifels got nothing on me. Lucifel: Yes I Kyuubi: -leavesLucifel: Hey! No! you cant Kyuubi: -waltzing back in- I just did. Jiraiya: Oh HELL no!! Icha Icha will remain its sexy self always!! Orochimaru: Teeheem he could write about me as a woman! Jiraiya: Ohyoure brilliant. Kiba/Kero: CAKE!! continue eatingShino: -face-palm-

amber: look whos here! -points to a vampireHT: oh shit... -hideskata: sup bitches? i am vampy-puppy-chan, but you will call me kata. now, i undersand you killed lerica, my child? amber: but first, have any questions? kata: hmm... lets see, itachi, who do you think is the sexiest person in that room? Zakura, want some pics of tsunade and anko naked? amber: oh, yes, kabuto dear, do you like sakura or ino more? now excuse me while katachan and i plan HT's fate. -they go into a dungeon to talkItachi: LOL!! HTs gonna DIE!! Orochimaru: Yay! Vampire! Itachi: -singsongs- Fan-girl gonna diiiie!! Fan-girl gonna diiiiiie!! Deidara: -joins in- Fangirl gonna diiiies, yeah! Kurenai: -rolls eyes and shakes headItachi: hehe, anywayhmmId have to say Gaara. Hes pretty damn hot. Gaara: -clings onto LeeZakura: Um, yes and always! Tsunade: You better not buddyand tell me who took those because they WILL get their face ripped off. Jiraiya: Thats my Tsunade Tsunade: -glaresJiraiya: -shudders- ummok Ino: where are your pupils? And I meant use your hair like Gaara uses sand, to slice people in half and stuff. Zabuza: I dare you to re-enact a generic slasher film by chasing around the young girls with your sword. We need a villain to steal Xmas this year. Any volunteers? Glad you're back, Lucifel. Enjoy the home stretch. Ino: Mymy what? In my eyes? Kabuto: Theyre just fans. Dont worry about them. pats-

Sakura: Oo Ino: And no, my hair is meant for much more sensual things than slicing people. Zabuza: -evil glint in his eyesHaku: Oh, not again Zabuza: Here, girlies! Hina/Saku/Ino: WTF?!? Zabuza: BUWAHAHAAHAHAHAH!! chasesHaku: -sighsOrochimaru: Ill do it! And with my tongue! Deidara: anywhizzle! Teeheehee Sasori: thats gonna get annoying really fast Deidara: Anywhizzle, yeah! Sasori: -clenches teethZabuza: MUWAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHEHEHE!! Kyuubi: I want some! joins Zabuza in the chaseSakura: Godammit!! Hinata: What can we do? Ino: Ummthe roof? Sakura: Wow, you were MADE for horror films, werent you? Ino: Fine! The boiler room then! Sakura: man, but I called it *Hot demon sex for Lucifiel-chan* Kabuto: *Sets it up so only Kabuto can hear him* I've decided to torture you anyhow...First, you must insult Kyuubi, then, insult Hinata until she cries, then do the

same to Haku. Have fun. Itachi: I found these while stealing from Orochimaru. *Drops a sack full of Sasuke porn for Itachi* PS: *Tosses in that on hero from Fable, with him full evil, the sword of Aeons, and the nickname Gladiator. And Jack of Blades, from the same game. Just because I've been playing it to much lately, and seeming them do something will cure me of it* Lucifel: Hells yes! I love my husband. smileZakura: So, does your boyfriend know about this guy? Lucifel: SHH!! Zakura: ok-rolls eyesKabuto: what? Zakura: Bitch! You heard the man! Kabuto: Kyuubi! Youuhsmell bad! Kyuubi: Fuck you kid! jumps out and makes Hinata scream and run away- hah! Kabuto: -phew- Hey, Hinata! Hinata: Y-yes? Kabuto: youuhyouare ugly? Hinata: Oo starts sobbingKabuto: Well that was easier than I thought Kure/Kiba/Shin/Naru/Zaku: -ATTACK!!Kabuto: -is beat into a bloody pulp- Im not even trying Haku Zabuza: -steps on a wound- Damn right youre not Kabuto: -meepItachi: YES! PRON!! Kisame: Uchiha Pr0n for the win! Itachi: None for you!

Kisame: -bares teeth- what was that, darling? Itachi: wanna see? Kisame: Yay! Fable hero: Sup. Im here to buy real estate, kill my family, and seduce random women I find on the street. Jack: FTW!! Kyuubi: Is that so? Jack: Yes, yes it is. What about it? Kyuubi: Oh, Im just this little thing I like to callthe demon about to rape your FACE. Fable dude: Heh, Im the HERO, ok? You cant touch Kyuubi: -grabs Fable guy by the face, rips said face off, then swings his body against Jack, then sends a bolt of demon chakra into both of them which incinerates them and disables all resurrection.- Oh really? Yondaime: -gape- Have you gotten stronger? Kyuubi: Nah, just more pissed. Yondaime: -gulpA.H.S:-Reaches over and cuts Ino's hair off with gardening sheers!- I hate you! Die you slut!! Zetsu: No wonder your's and Sasori's kid is messed up. A.H.S: Hey! Least you can't blame Daimos for eating Kisame's goldfish!! Anyhow!! Kyuubi! Just what exactly changed your mind about the guy who sealed you in Naruchan's tummy? Sasori, Deidara...Daimos wants to come for a visit so watch out...Tehehe. And last but greatest! Saku-chan...Don't you think it would be a good time to use THAT technique I taught you? -Shifty eyes towards Ino.Sasori: Dammit! I thought she was gone! Lucifel: Welcome back! Ino: youI cantNOOOOO!!! Kabuto: Ive always like short hair actually. Orochimaru-sama excluded.

Ino: Oh well, there is that. smile and cuddlesSakura: wtf? MY hair is short! Zakura: Subtle. Sakura: -blushKisame: MY GOLDFISH!!! NOES! I NEEDS MY SNACKS!! Itachi: Eep. Kisame: I guess Ill just have to eat Itachi when I get the munchies Itachi: -hides behind SasoriSasori: Im not gonna protect you. Kisame and I have an understanding of bitches and where they belong. Deidara: Are you talkin about me, yeah? Sasori: Yep. Deidara: K. smileSasori: And Im not afraid, hes been scheduled for a visit for a while now. And where is he? Not here. Im seriously not worried. Deidara: I am yeah! What if he seduces me, yeah! Sasori: Do you care? Supposedly hes very much like me. Deidara: oooooh. Yeah. Sakura: OH! HAHA Zakura: Actually, thats mine. Sakura doesnt get it. Sakura: GOD I HATE YOU!! Zakura: Im doing my job well. Kiba/Akamaru/Shikamaru: so you know, that wasnt the bomb, its his entire body, every cell has a small bomb in it Sakura: take the god-fucking-damn cards, one of them will allow you to kill ino and the

other can seal Zakura back into you Kurenai: you kno that Asuma dies in shipuuden and you are pregant with his kid? Gaara: a new book to write you hit list in and a frap UndineDemon Kiba: WHAT?!?! Akamaru: arf? hueh?Shikamaru: Ok, listen. I beg to differ. This whole place is based off the rules of fangilrism. You didnt state off the bat thats how it was, so Lucifel or whoever made up her own choice, acted on it and now its final. Because the basic premise isthe bomb was removed. Lucifel: Yeahwhat he said-shifty eyesLee: Ah! Shikamaru! Its good to see you being youthfully smart again! Shikamaru: I miss the clouds Kiba: Oh, rock on! Isnt that great Akamaru!! Akamaru: Arf, bark yapyap. right, cause it matters to youKiba: What? Of course it does! Akamaru: Bark, woof, bowwow! no, I understand, just go ahead and pig out with your new friendKiba: Akamaruoh, buddy, Im so sorry. I didnt realize Akamaru: YAPARF BARK!! yeah! Of course you didnt! Youre dimwitted and thick! Youre a horrible friend- -runs offKiba: Akamaru Sakura: Seriously? Which cards are those? Kero: Yeah, of the ones Kiba hasnot so much Kurenai: yes, thank you. Thank you so much for pouring salt on my wound. I have paper cut, would you like some lemon juice?! Tsunade: -pat, pat- Well kick her ass later. Kurenai: -sulks-

Gaara: Cool. copies down namesadds InoNaruto: hehe, fuck yeah Ino-bitch. Ino: look it's not because i hate you it's because your not in the top five faoverite female naruto character's and you making me mad, don't feel to bad! Deidara: I'm sorry Deidara but i wasn't able to be you for Halloween, my wig fell apart and i could't be you with short hair. I failed you! Everyone else; you all have to sing "It's not unusual" by Tom Jones! MiniDeath Ino: there are more than five females in Naruto? Hinata: You, me, Sakura, Kurenai and Tsunadewho else? Sakura: Anko. Ino: You know shes practically a man. Sakura: Well, what about Shizune?? Ino: shes a MINOR character!! Seriously! Kankuro: Temaris way better than you. And so is her girlfriend. Ino: Whos her girlfriend? Kankuro: Tenten. Ino/Nej: Who? Kankuro: nevermind. Ino: this is ridiculous Deidara: Its okanywhizzle, who did you go as?? YEAH! Sasori: -shakes headNaruto: But I dont KNOW that song! whineShikamaru: So just sing its not unusual by tom jones Naruto: Ha?

Shikamaru: The rest of you get it right? Everyone: -nod and then sings (to a generic tune)- Its not unusual by tom jones!! Naruto: Ohhh. I get it. Jiraiya: -pats on head comfortinglySakura -- since you are going to be screwed no matter what... here is a black leather mid-thigh gladiator skirt and matching bikini top. You have too wear this outfit for the rest of the chapter. you can choose to wear it longer. Here's a whip too. Ino -- who would you like to have sex with most in the room? No lying Sakura: Whu? Ino: OhhI hate to see where that bulges Sakura: -glares- gimme that. takes and put on- Im sorry, whatd you say, bitch? Ino: Ahhyeah see? Chicked fat on the arm-pits, the leather ispinched in placesyou really cant pull that off can you? Sakura: -twitchJiraiya, Naruto and Lee meanwhile are drooling and nose-bleeding all over the floor. Kabuto: -blushes and turns away, holding his noseIno: If I could sleep with ANYONE? Well, Yondaime of course! Hes powerful, sexy, and has major social-status! I would get such great rep! Yondaime: I fell violated somehow Jiraiya: Schoolgirls have a way of doing thatjust sit back and enjoy. Long time no see i see alot of things have changed and that Kisame AKA 'The Super Fish'is here. To DeiDei: Why did you have the Mouth over your heart stitched together it looks freaking awesome? Gift: Giant bag of Exploding Clay that Zakura can't touch thanks to a little device To Yondaime: *pokes you in the shoulder and looks at you* how the hell are you doing that? Magic Lamp that can grant one wish (no not three) as long as it is reasonable as in you can't come back from the dead with it To 'Super Fish': How did you come to be with all the gills and blue skin tell me if someone has already asked answer again cause i'm too lazy too go back and read it. Gift: I'll put in a deep sea pool filled with fish.

Best Regards from Lyon Ryuushi Lucifel: Hey! I missed you! Itachi: I didnt! Sakura: Ok, can you guys hear her or not? Itachi: hear who? Sakura: -criesDeidara:I dont know. Anywhizzle, can I has clay? Yeah? Lucifel: -whistles and goes to check out more of the mangaYondaime: doing WHAT? backs up- this fan is scaring me! Naruto: what you gonna wish for? Yondaime: A ramen stand. NarutoL: KICK ASS!! Yondaime: My treart. gestures stand that just appearedNaruto: -giddy smilingKisame: Super? Oh well. Anyway, the skin was always that color, its weird, but I mean, Zabuzas is gray. Just kind of happens. Zabuza: Its because we kick ass, ftw. Kisame: Word. And anyway, the gills are actually scarsfrom a fight Zabuza, Cartman and Kenny and I got in. Kenny died. It sucked until we got the next replacement. Zabuza: Ugh, I remember that. What a pain To Kisame: 1. I think I saw you the Jaws movie. To Sakura: ...This is random but, has anyone ever called you a hammerhead? To Deidara: STOP GIVING YOURSELF A BLOWJOB PERVERT! To Orochimaru: -pulls out butcher's knife- I always wanted to get a snake skin wallet. -smilesBYE BYE WOOF!

Kisame: Yeah, I was a stunt-man. All the distance shots? Me. Itachi: Youre so fucking WEIRD!! Kisame: you know you like it. Sakura: What!? NO Kisame: Hammerheads are way sexier. Itachi: What th Kisame: Hey, its JUST beastiality! Itachi: you justkilled my catchphrase. Kisame: I guess youre gonna behave oh darling one? Itachi: I hate it when youre like this. Kisame: I can go back to child-like devotion Itachi: No. no thats ok. Deidara: oh, like if you could you wouldnt! Gimme a break, yeah-reaches into pantsSasori: -shakes headOrochimaru: Thats nice. Shikamaru: Don't be Depressed! If you were right all the time you'd be god, and well... you're not. Kabuto: What male in the room do you like least? Sakura: I am really disliking Kabuto for some reason right now so I'm very sorry but your being dared to kiss the man he likes least in the room right now. Itachi: If you HAD to go straight and kiss a girl, in the room, who would it be? (No Deidara doesnt count) Shikamaru: WellIdamn you. Kabuto: AhummJiraiya. He got Orochimaru-sama.. Sakura: I hate you Kabuto: Whatohshit.

Jiraiya: Oo Sakura: whyyyy -Jira/Saku Make outseveryone gags!Itachi: Anko. Shes the manliest. Teehee. Tsunade: Oh, thats grossand true. Kiba: -tracks down Akamaru- Hey. Akamaru: arf. yoKiba: Hey, listenI didnt realize you were feeling left out. And, Im not saying it was just how you felt, I know I really was a complete and total asshole. Im so sorry. Youre my best friend, and Id never want anyone else to be my buddy. Akamaru: bark. ok.Kiba: hah? Akamru: bark, yapyap, arf arf, woof, bowwow. Bark. Thats all I needed to hear. Youre my best pal. You just need a kick in the assKiba: hehe, fair enough. Akamaru: bark! Thats my boy!-Akamaru jumps into Kibas arms and they have a dog-boy love momentbeastiality yay!That was some sweet action Kyuubi, thank you very much, heres a lightsaber (coz they're pimp) For Shikamaru, would you ever marry anyone and who? Kyuubi: Pimp. Zabuza! Want some jedi-horror? Zabuza:hell yeah. -they re-starts the terrorShikamaru: no. Naruto: Hey come on Shika

Shikamaru: NO. Naruto: ok Lucifel: Thats all for now! Hurray! Only Tuesday nightor Wednesday morning whatever Love yall!!

Ask Sakura 51 7 Lucifel: number seven yall. Heres the deal. I have 806 reviews right now. I STILL want 1,000 by the time this is over. Thatssomewhere between 27-30 reviews for every chapteroooh, including the last one, so more like 30-35 per if I dont count closing reviewsNow, I can do it if you can. Get me those reviews by any means necessary!!!!!

Sakura: Youre freakin weird Lucifel: really? You think so? Sakura: -sighsLucifel: Onwards and upwards!! Orochimaru: ILL go upwards! Sakura: I thought you couldnt hear her!! Orochimaru: Im talking to Jiraiya Jiraiya: -blush(throws in a pink pony plushie) It has 20 uses. Squeeze it and think of anything you want or anything you want to happen and POOF! there ya go. Haku: KYAA!! Pony!! grabs and cuddlesZakura: Twenty charges? I dont think so. It has two. Haku: Well I just want to cuddle it forever and ever! -POOFThe pony is now glued to Hakus chest and armsHaku: Ohwhoops Zabuza: Good job. Haku: this would be a lot better if I had extra arms that werent so stuck -POOFHaku now has four arms Zabuza: Why didnt you just wish you hadnt asked for that?! Haku: IforgotWell, this is kind of cool! Zabuza: sure

Jiraiya: Whats wrong with you man! Do you know what you can DO with all those arms?! Orochimaru: That was one thing Kidomaru was always great forteehee Jiraiya: Oo Kimimaro: Ewww
KJ: Lucifel, I like your story -hugAz: In my opinion, Neji is the better whore compared to Ino. At least his chest is real and he's not a rendition of Barbie. KJ: But to tell if it's real you have to look-Az: I said it's fake. Never said anything about it not being nice. KJ: Itachi: If you could meet any person in the world, who would it be? Az: Kyuubi, what would your pimp name be? Or if you have one, what is it?

Lucifel: Aww, thanks. smilesNeji: Yes! Thank you! Ino: Thats one girls opinion Neji. One FANgirl. And everyone knows fangirls are jealous of mymy Orochimaru: nice but fake chest? Ino: WHEN did she look? Wtf?! Deidara: Oooh, stalkers are never funyeah Sasori: Coming from you? Deidara: I never stalkING wasnt fun. Yeah! Sasori: right Itachi: Oh goshprobably one of those iron-fisted rulers from way back when. Get some pointers. And they were all into incest too Sasori: How do you figure? Itachi: you kidding me? Way back when incest was ALL the rage among royalty! Deidara: Its true yeah! Kisame: Ill rule over something all right-eyes Itachis assDeidara: Youre so much hotter when youre in domination mode, Kisame. When you dote on Itachi its creepy, yeah.

Kisame: Well, the man is worth doting over. Itachi: Damn right. Kyuubi: I dont NEED a pimp name. Why would I? My name strikes shock and terror into the hearts of all who know of me. So, using a false name over that? I think not. demonic smirkYondaime: I really should go A.H.S: -Shifts Kaze in her arms as she nibbles on a Kisame plushie- Kisame...I think your gonna have to stay away from the base when your guys are released. I think she has an affinity for sharks, -Chuckles a bit.-Tosses in a pair of clippers- First person to shave Ino bald and take off her eyebrows gets a year supply of liqoured chocolates! Anyhow...Kabuto! Your a fooking nimbrod!Ino's a damn slut!! She might have diseases or something!! Sasori: Wonderful. First thing when we get is to assassinate all her children. Deidara: Amen, yeah. Kisame: -twitch- Thats fucking creepy. Sasori: Its always creepy when someones attracted to you Kisame: -flips fingerIno: What kind of horrible dare is that!! Kurenai: ILL DO IT!!! Kabuto: -gets in her way- Kurenai! Shes a STUDENT. Sakura: Out of the way, four-eyes!! Tsunade: -grabs both of them by the scruff- Show a little dignity girls. Ino: -cowers behind Kabuto- I already said I DONT! I get tested all the time! Im clean! You can ask Tsunade! Tsunade: Yeah, yeah youre clean. Ino: See?

Kabuto: Oh. Dont give them any attention. They just feed off it. Sakura: DICK! Ino: Yeah, you dont get any. Sakura: -sits and sulksKabuto: You ok, Ino? Ino: Hey, my hairs still firmly attached right? Kurenai: -chops off pony tail- Sort of. Does this count? Tsuande: -pulling her away- Counts as you sitting in a corner until your chocolate craze subsides Kurenai: you know it never willNEVER Tsuande: Well I can dream Orochimaru: Worked for me! cuddles JiraTsunade: -TWITCHIno: NOOOOO!!!! Kabuto: Short hair is cute though Ino: BUT ITS MY HAIR!! Deidara: Aww, you dont look as much like me anymore, yeah Ino:Im good. So Ino can't pick guys, that would explain the slutty-whorey-ness no offense to Neji, Stop touching Kabuto or I get your Dad in there... Can I take Akamaru on a holiday? Pretty please Zakura... Kiba's not being nice to him right now... Shika! If you coach me for my mock exams I shall steal Goku's cloud for you O.O but no you had to go plotholing again be friken glad I lost my wand in the junk on my desk... I WILL GET EVEN Kabuto, think of nothing for a second... Yellow or Pink? ... Bitch or Bimbo? He-Yan -xIno: My dad or Nejis dad?

Itachi: Oh, Im hoping Nejis. Neji: Please no! Shino: then I guess youll both just have to knock the whoring off. Neji: NEVAR. Ino: Im NOT. Im very specifically going after one guy. Kabuto: -blushZakura: no. no ones leaving this room until the end of the story. Kyuubi: -leavesZakura: fuck you! Kyuubi: -comes back in- Nah, I dont like you. Naruto: I thought you did like some women? Kyuubi: I do. But not girls. I like boys and women. Not girls and men. Yondaime: are you calling me a BOY? Kyuubi: Actually, youre so bishie you count as woman. Yondiame: I could be in heaven right now Kyuubi: youre ass IS heaven. Yondaime: WTF?! Kyuubi: -chucklesShikamaru: No. There are way better tutors. And thats just one cloud. And its a fast cloud too-sulksKiba: Dammit Shikamaru! You. Are. Smart! Ok?! Shikamaru: Whatever Kabuto: Whu

Orochimaru: JUST DO IT!! Kabuto: Pink bimbo. Itachi: thats a weird mix Kabuto: Honestly I just kind of thought of pink elephants-shrugsItachi: Oh so it WAS sakura. Sakura: HEY!! Anjiru/Danie: *huggles everyone in the room except for Ino cause we dont like her xD* Danie: Anyways, we mished about 10 or 11 updates? Anjiru: Were so sorry Lucifel-chan!! *huggles* Danie: Question! Anjiru: Does anyone know about the term, Lolicon? *tries to throw some guy named Larry who loves to eat chocolates and drink frap* Danie: Oh and. *gives everyone some home-made cookies* Anjiru: Thats it for now! Danie and Anjiru Lucifel: GIRLS!! I missed you! Itachi: Damn, a lot of the old fans are coming backscary Lucifel: I was so afraid youd miss the end! You can have the pool room when Im done here. Tsunade: Damn, I was gonna use it for sake Kiba: Lolicon? Umma convetion for lollipops? Orochimaru: Ooooh, I hope its a lollita convention!! Kankuro: -to random kid- who the fuck are you? Larry: Im the kid that lives solely off chocolate and fraps! So much so that my body liquids have BECOME frappuccino!! Itachi/Gaa: -tackles and begin going vampire all up on himLarry: OH! OWW! Would now be a bad time to mention the rest of my body has become chocolate?

Kurenai: -pulls off a leg and devours-they have completely consumed him within 7.6 secondsSakura: That was Ino: Im gonna barf. Kiba: COOKIES!! Cmon Akamaru! Akamaru: bark! hell yeahKero: Yknow kid. You and that dog are quite a team. I dont think youll need. Ill go back and explain the situation to Sakura and them. Catch you later. Kiba: Laterhey! Whered the cookies go?! Kero: EEHHEHEEHEHEHEHHEHE!!!! Kiba: Damn.
NARU-CHAN COULD SO HAVE A LOVER! Naruto is practically a whore when it comes to FF. Anyways Naruchan, who would you like for your lover? And do you want anything else? Say what you want and I shall provide! -Shoots Kisame with a bazooka- Your scaring me and your hitting on Itachi-sama... DIE FISH MAN! So who did take the rings? -Gives Gaara and Itachi some fraps and Dei-Dei-chan some hair ribbonsJune x

Naruto: Errthanks? And ummthats a personal Zakura: Is it Sakura? Naruto: NO! Lee: GAARA?! Naruto: NO! Itachi: Sasuke!?! Naruto: NOOO!!! Kurenai: -bearing down on him- Hinata?! Naruto: Ahh-looks around at all the glaring faces and one blushing one- no? Kurenai: good.

Zakura: -glares- Moving on Naruto: hey wait! I wanna make my request! Itachi: Ok, you know what? The fans always say Ask for whatever you want and Ill get it to youblahblahblahwere all whoreswahdewahdewah! And then? The next chapter? Nothing. No delivery whatsoever. Deidara: thats true yeah! Wtf is up with that anywhizzle? Sasori: -sighKisame: -dodges- Joo suck!! MUWAHAHA!! -bazooka explosions knocks him flat on his faceItachi: lol! Kisame: oww Kurenai: Yeah, who did take those anyway? Kiba: Take what? Kurenai: those rings. Kiba: Hah? Kurenai: yknow. The wedding rings that got thrown in. Kiba: OH!! OH YEAH!! Kurenai: Heh? Kiba: -scampers over to Shino- Hey! Wanna get hitched? Shino: What? Kiba: Ok, ummkinda blurted that one outone sec-turns around, straightens clothes, smoothes hair then turns back around, pulls out one of the rings and kneels down on one knee- Soyoureuhwellyouve been my best friend for ages and all, and I know were kinda young but I mean, we live in a dangerous world so gotta live for the moment right? And well, every moment I spend with you is the best of my life. AndI want that, you know? For likethe rest, of my life

Shino: -blinks- Iwhat Kiba: Will you marry me? Erplease? Shino: Kiba: Socould I get, like an answer? My knees falling asleep Shino: Kiba: Oookahem, rightso I dont suppose theres any chance of continuing the relationship without this being awk Shino: -KISSKiba: Humfrgm? Shino: -pulls backKiba: Sois that a Shino: OhHell yeah. -They kiss some moreEveryone: WHOOOOOOOOOOTTT!!! Akamaru: ARF!! BARK!! ARF!! YEAH!!! THATS MY MAN!!!Hinata: -sobs happinessDeidara: RIBBONS!! puts up his hairGaa/Ita: -devour fraps-stares at Kyuubi in pure shock- But..I...You...The... DAMN YOU! -sniffles- I hate demon foxes... Unless they're in cute fox bodies...-zaps Kyuu some kind of freaky wand and turns Kyuubi into a cute fox with nine tailsDeidara: What was your and Sasori's relationship like when you first met? Sex? Friends? Lovers? Shikamaru: If you'd get one wish, what would it be? I give Sakura cake and a Sasuke plushie. You must miss him ^^

Kyuubi: Yeah ri -POOFKyuubi: -is chibi again- WTF?!? WHY is this the only thing Im not immune to?!

Zakura: Because NO ONE can beat the chibi. Kyuubi: I hate youall of you Shikamaru: How long do you have to stay like that? Kyuubi: It didnthey. changes back- Kick ass. Nice job, kid. Shikamaru: At least someones learning Deidara: Hey Zakura? Zakura: What? Deidara: Well, anywhizzlecan I get a flashback? Zakura: Sure. Why not? FLASHBACK Akatsuki Leader: Deidara, this is going to be your mentor and partner, Sasori. Deidara: Hesan armadillo yeah? Sasori: I am a master artist. Deidara: An armadillo master artist, yeah? Heh, well, Im a human artist. I make clay statues Sasori: Ah, sculpture. Deidara: --and then I blow them upyeah! Sasori: How is that art? Deidara: Youre an armadillo, yeah. Akatsuki Leader: -shuffles awaySasori: I am not. Im an artist. Deidara: You dont even have thumbs. What could you possibly do, yeah? Sasori: Im a puppet-maker. Deidara: And then you blow them up, yeah?!

Sasori: No. I spend years to finish one puppet, I put my very soul in my work. Of course I wouldnt blow them up. Deidara: Damn. I thought we were going to have so much in common, you know, besides you being an Armadillo, yeah. Sasori: -sigh- Look, Im not an armadil Deidara: Listen, I accept you either way, yeah. I mean, besides the whole bad art thing. Sasori: -siiiiiigh- Alright, look. opens puppet and steps out- Im not an armadillo, see? Deidara: meow. Sasori: what? Deidara: -pounces-after munch making out and eventuallyyou knowDeidara: so...Not an armadillo, yeah? Sasori: no. Deidara: But youre ahnot reallyfleshyeah Sasori: Nope. Deidara: thats cool. You never get soft then, yeah? Sasori: youre a weird one -END FLASHBACKDeidara: And thats what happened. Orochimaru: -applaudsItachi: So hot. Kisame: Dude, I remember that day. Deidara annoyed the shit out of me, strutting around like he was so special just cuz he got bonedwoodedby Sasori.

Sasori: Hey, you enjoyed the pointers when Itachi came along. Kisame: True. kata: hm... now i wonder where the rings went.-gasp- is kabuto-kun going to propose to sakura!? omg! that would be wierd! think of thier dorky children! dont do it kabutokuun! amber: and im so glad you are happy about HTs future death. but it seems im missing my scythe... HT: -is hiding behind a closet covered in garlic- oh yeah,i was going to give you guys a chocolate fountian, but since you cant wait for me to be slaughtered, you cant have it. -dips a cup into the fountian and sips it- and its really good chocolate too... Kabuto: eww. Of course not! Sakura: -shuddersZakura: Oh please woman. Sakura: thats gross! Kids with Kabuto! Kabuto: Children in general are gross Orochimaru: The hell they are! Mmmm. Jiraiya: Wtf, dude? Tsunade: -twitchItachi: you mean shes not dead yet? Dammit Kurenai: -gasp- HT, honeyyou know I love you right? You know I never wanted you to die, right? You wanna give me some chocolate right? Hinata: K-kurenai sensei, youre scaring me.
Pending Lucifel's permission, I have a special treat for you. But you have to work for it... like this! (All men in the room go blind. All women in the room can't move their arms or legs. Demons, figments of imagination and dead people are exempt.) This'll last for... let's say three questions. Also, here's a frap for Gaara (places across the room from Gaara). Good luck.

Lucifel: Ok, Avy, heres the deal. Theyre gonna do the dare Everyone: THE HELL WE WILL!! Lucifel: And youre gonna come up with a new treat for each one that does it, k? Im using youre idea, but its not so much their prize

Kankuro: this is retarded. Now I cant ogle Gaara! Gaara: I dont know where to glareI feel lost Lee: -hugs- I am hugging Gaara arent I? Naruto: no Lee: ACK! jumps awayGaara: mustgetfrap-starts stumbling across the roomItachi: -starts searching tooKyuubi: -takes frapShikamaru/Sakura -- Naruto caught you two talking on the top of a building before Sasuke left. What was that about? Sasori -- you can turn one person, other than Sakura, into a puppet for five minutes. Go ahead and do some damage.

Shikamaru: Ahthat Ino: Huh? You were talking to forehead-girl? tries to move over, but flops onto her faceSakura: Thats kind of Shikamaru: Yeah Ino: -manages to roll onto her back- WHAT was going on? Sakura: Its not your business, bitch! Ino: -humphShikamaru: Lets just say I needed relationship advice. Ino: -gasp- BITCH! Did you have something to do with that?! Sakura: erwhat Ino: Oh, if I could slap you Gaara: WHERE IS MY FRAP!?!?! criesLee: -pats back comfortinglyNeji: dudewtf?

Lee: ACK! jumps back and trips over Hinatas legSasori: Oh, definitely Orochimaru. All those strange parts to master Orochimaru: woot! Sasori: But, its not the same, if I dont do the work Zakura: -throws Orochimaru into Sasoris arms- just enjoy it! Sasori: -plays with OroOrochimaru: -gigglesSakura: (gives cookie) having Ino around must be a total pain, hope you feel better! Everyone else: hope your enjoying life as much as you can in there and here. (throws box into the middle of the room) Some clean clothes and food, and a couple movies and games, and a TV if you don't have one. MiniDeath P.S. ( can I have a hug!?)

Sakura: -stretches for it with neck- I CANT GET IT!!!!! Kiba: Where?! Where is it? Kyuubi: -takes it and moves it several more feet awaySakura: You bitch Kyuubi: heh. Hinata: AhI cant get to it. Naruto: -stumbles around for it- WHERE?!? Sakura: To your leftno, thats your rightthats straightNaruto what the hell!?! Sasori: -makes Orochimaru hug her with his stretchy neck and tongue- Oh, funnnn.
poor Shikamaru. I put some clouds in the room to drift about the ceiling. Lee is getting no action in this story so I dare him to kiss Hinata. I throw Wednesday Addams into the room.

Shikamaru: butbut Imgod-cries a littleZakura: Man, that sucks. Lee: What?! Wellfine-kisses-

Kiba: DUDE?! WTF?!? Lee: ACK!! Im sorry!! Zakura: Ok, enough of that. Good job guys. Shikamaru: -just flops down and stares at the clouds on the ceilingWednesday: Wow, this place is almostunpleasant. Very nice. Zakura: Sup, girl. Wednesday: Im contentits awful. Lee: So do I have to Zakura: Just sit down before you hurt yourself. Wednesday: No, stay up. Go ahead. Do something drasticdeadly Lee: Im afraid Gaara: I just have to say, the whole thing with sand-coffin and Ino's face was pretty damn badass. If that doesn't deserve a frap, nothing does (hands Gaara frap). Tsunade: if i remember correctly, Jiraiya used to make fun of you for bein flat-chested. So...are they real or are they fake? Be honest. Ino is great and so much better than Sakura. (By the way Ino, can I have a hug?) Hell, everyone is better than you...except Oro. I just don't like him. He reminds me of this guy -throws in Micheal JacksonGaara: word. sipsWednesday: Youwork with coffins? Gaara: The deadliest. Wednesday: -small smirk.- Do tell. Gaara: sit. Well talk. Tsunade: Look, Im already in a bad mood. Orochimaru: Yeah, how come? Tsunade: are you fucking kidding?

Orochimaru: I mean, I know why, but I dont understand why youn cant just lean back and let weird shit happen. Tsunade: -starts to speak, quits, and stalks awayOrochimaru: -shrugs- Oh well. Jiraiya: yeah Naruto: Sakura, you know dont you? Sakura: Even if I did I wouldnt tell you! Thats Tsunade-senseis business! Kurenai: Im gonna go talk to her-goes overIno: Yeah! Anyone who understands how awesome I am compared to those guys deserves a hug! hugsMichael Jackson: Wellhello you little childrenhow are you today? Naruto: AHH!! PEDOPHILE!! Michael Jackson: no, no, thats being ignorant! I just love spending time with and getting close to little children! Orochimaru: Yeah youre a pedophile. Its cool, so am I! Michael: youyou understand me? Orochimaru: Yeah! Ican even peel off my face too!! Michael: Oh my godreally? Orochimaru: I just look better underneath MJ: But still! Holy crap! Someone who understands! Someone not so ignorant! Orochimaru: Yes, youre among friends now! -MJ/Oro hugJiraiya: Im so sickened MJ: I have to get back now! The kiddies havent been fed in a while! Ill never forget you!! goes-

Orochimaru: -sniffles- Hes such a great role model Jiraiya: -sighs- Oh, darling
Gaara: that book is the deathnote and that person instantly dies and cant come back...EVER Hinata: I LOVE YOU! YOUR SP KAWIAII! -gives a locket that gives her powers over the 4 base elementsKiba: if i say so akamaru dies(even though i took the cards and gave them to sakura) Shikamaru: didnt you notice Lucifiel's shifty eyes and saying sure when you said the bomb was removed? Undinedemon

Gaara: Oh-throws book awayLee: -hugglesHinata: Oh wowthank you!! looks at locket- Teehee! makes some flowers growZakura: OhSO CUTE!! diesKiba: no. He doesnt. Shikamaru: Whateverfigures Id be stupid like that. Lucifel: Umm, the shifty eyes were about the way it was done, the bomb is out either way. Besides, you forget my no-death rule. Youre kind of screwed. Zakura: You know what? Screw it, Im tired of depressed Shikamaru. Choji, get your fat ass in here. Choji: Eh? What? in the middle of responding to Shika on letter- SHIKA!!!! Shikamaru: Choji? Choji: Shika! Shikamaru: CHOJI!!! runs to him and hugs him- OH MY GOD IM SO MISERABLE!!! Choji: -hugs back tightly- Hey, its cool now. Kurenai: -meanwhile- So, Tsu, whats wrong? Tsunade: Uh, maybe the fact that Jiraiya is now going steady with the stretchy wonder Kurenai: yes, I know, butthis place Tsunade: Its just thatIgod this embarrassingnever mind.

Kurenai: No, tell me. You have to get it out. Tsunade: I always thoughtthat Jiraiya and I wouldI dont know, get married or somethingsomeday. Kurenai: oh. Tsunade: yeahI guess I was just kidding myself. Hehdo you know why he got chased in here to begin with? Kurenai: why? Tsunade: I read the latest manuscript of one of his books andI was in there. Kurenai: Oh. Damn Tsunade: Honestly? I was flatteredbut of course I couldnt say that. So I chased him and tried to kill him. laughsKurenai: yeah. Tsunade: Ill be ok. In fact, Ill forget all about this and go back to my foolish assumptionsI was never for him. Hes probably not right for me either Kurenai: youre too independent. No man can really be good enough for you. Tsunade: Yeah. Its not like I need a manI just sort of wanted him. Kurenai: I understand. But hey, considering that everything here has basically no consequences you may as well enjoy whats left, huh? Tsunade: yeah. I guess sothanks. hugs Kurenai, gets upIno: Have you ever considered...experimenting...with Sakura or are you a completely straight whore

Ino: Eww. Men only, thank you. Kiba: then whatre you getting up on Kabuto for? Naruto: Oh snap! high fivesGaara: So, you got all that Day? Wednesday: Indeed. This knowledge will proveentertaining at the next family reunion. Its been a dragI hope I see you again.

-stalks away with snaps of lightningOne of My BigAzz Dares to Everbody!: I dare, and by dare I mean order, you all to... PLAY 7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN! (MUAHAHAAHA!)

Zakura: ohh, too bad we only have enough time for one round. So, everyone draws straws and whoever gets the two shorts oneplay the game. -closet appearsKyuubi: -walks up, grabs the handful of straws, disintegrates them, and pulls Yondaime into the closetZakura: well, I guess thats that Naruto: dad?

Ask Sakura 52 6 Lucifel: Im latefor a very important date. Sorry guys, I was gonna write on Sunday but as I got no sleep (for good reason) Saturday, I fell asleep before I couldmy apologies! Anyway823 reviews now! I need waaaaaay more. Thanks to the people giving reviews! Kick ass!

Kyuubi: -saunters out of closet- Well, I had a nice break. Yondaime: -stumbles out behind him and slumps in a cornerNaruto: -horror-Shikamaru is still hugging ChojiChoji: youuhwanna go talk man? Shikamaru: -nods and pulls him to a corner.Sakura: use the goddamn cards i gave you Hinata: use the other elements Gaara: i give you a frap that never empties Kurenai: a chocolate bar that regenerates Throws in my cat(only the sane and innocent ppl can touch my cat) Undinedemon Sakura: You gave--? Kiba: Nope, still got em. Lucifel: People need to read my rulesyou cant just take things from people unless you gave the thing to them-sighHinata: Ohokay-makes a fountain appear- Heehee. smileHaku: Kya! You could make a whole little world! Hinata: -gasp- YEAH! Haku: Lemme help! Hinata: Ok!! Gaa/Kure: -stare for a long bit, start drooling and finally charge in and begin devouringItachi: Can I have a si Gaara: -HISSItachi: Oook Cat: Meow? tilts head and rubs up against Hinatas shoulder-

Kyuubi: -reads about cat- I take that as a challenge. punts cat out the windowCat: MEEEOOOOoooowwwww...-banishes over the horizonKyuubi: Well, look at that. I win. Hinata: -shockHaku: Thats so mean! Zabuza: Yeah! Whats your problem? Kyuubi: come one Zabuzayou know that was funny. Haku: -is distracted by making pretty flowers againZabuza: Yeah Kyuubi: I thought so. A.H.S: Well...Since you did cut the skank's hair...-Hands Kurenai a box of never ending liqoured chocolates.- Anyhow... -Randomly licks Zakura, handing over twenty bucks and a new whipSakura!! I heard rumors that you migh be a jinchuuriki!! And Zakura ish your biju! That true?! Kurenai: IIIm in heaven!!!! cries happyGaara: -sips away merrilyLee: so precious! My darling Gaara! hugsGaara: -happy, happyZakura: Sweetlike I care if I get licked? I get money and a whip too, kickass! whips DeidaraDeidara: OH! Meowyeah Sakura: no Tsunade: -slaps foreheadZakura: Im way more kick ass than any old jin

Kyuubi: -glaresZakura: chuurikiBESIDES Kyuubi! Kyuubi: Fair enough-smacks head gently and walks over to Yondaime where he sprawls sexily over some used crates. Dont ask where they came from. I figure the old frap crates came backYondaime: -scoots awayseems to rethink and scoots back inKyuubi: Yeah, youre my bitch now. Yondaime: Am not! Youre justa really good kisseroh fuck this!! NO!!! storms off to his ramen standNaruto: -joins himKyuubi and Yondaime... for real? Woah, Lucifel-chan you really do like strange pairings. Gaara and Kiba: Which person in the room would you most like to see tortured? -Gives Shino and Kiba a big ass cake- CONGRATULATIONS! -Gives Deidara some puppet aphrosodiacJune x Lucifel: Oh honey, you dont know the half of it. winkSakura: Youre weird Lucifel: Am not. Sakura: Lucifel: Ok, maybe. Kiba/Gaa: -look at each for a minute- Ino. Ino: WHAT!? Why?! Gaara: Youre a skank. Kiba: Youre stuck-up. Kabuto: Hey now.., Ino: Oh! How could you be so mean!? falls against Kabutos shoulder-

Sakura: thanks guys Kiba: Hey youOMG CAKE!!! dives into itShino: -rolls eyes and takes a pieceDeidara: Sassy, will this really work, yeah? Sasori: No. Deidara: OhIll try anywhizzle, yeah! Sasori: Wait wha Deidara: -jams it down throatSasori: I told you it wouldntoh.shit Deidara: Are you super horny now, yeah?! Sasori: Yes. Deidara: -hopefulSasori: But I have self-control. Deidara: Oh-disappointmentZakura: OMG!!!!! Sakura: What? Zakura: We still have potions left over! I just remembered that! Hey! Everyone who knows what all the potions do what get your asses over here and huddle! Kyuubi: No. Zakura: Well then fuck you. Kyuubi: you wish. -In the huddleDeidara: What is it, yeah? Zakura: We still have four potionstwo brown, two redwe need them distributed now.

Kiba: Fuck no, Not me again Zakura: Im not gonna Jiraiya: Can Oro PLEASE have boobs again?! Zakura: anyone else have a better idea? Naruto: Yes! Zakura: well, fine you can have one brown. Anyone object to giving Oro the other one? Jira/Oro: NO! Zakura: fine then Sakura: what about the reds? Zakura: All right ummDeidara, you take one. NOT for use on Sasori, and Ill use the last one. Sakura: Hey what about Zakura: and were done! Break! Oh, damn, I forgot to review last chapter! My deepest apoligies! *Bows to his wife, then cuddles her* Kabuto: Let's see...Oh, I know. First, I take away all your abilities, for about 5 hours. Then, I dare you to make out with Ino. Then, I dare you to kiss Sakura. Kyuubi: I've decided that you deserve to be worshipped by a great number of people, so, I started a started a shrine in your honor. In Konoha. Lots of people joined. Choji: Dude! Welcome to the horrible room of doom! *Hands him the mega super bag of chips of infinite holding* P.S. *Tosses in Superman. Just -cause-* Lucifel: yay. cuddles backKabuto: oh fuck you. Im so sick of you! Orochimaru: Now, you never use your abilities anyway so Ino: -glomps and starts the making outSakura: -appalled-

-after a long, awkward timeIno: Wowthat was great. Neji: Fuck you! I can whore myself just as much. Kabuto: please n Neji: -makes out with KabutoKiba: Thats it! You show her!!! Sakura: NEJI YOU WHORE!! EVEN YOU?! Neji: -pulling away- Sorry, got carried awayI forgot he was yours Sakura: Hes not Kabuto: -kissesSakura: -slapsKabuto: I HAD TO! Sakura: fuck you-stalks awayKabuto: -sighKyuubi: Reeeeally? How nice. Yondaime: Im so ashamed Naruto: Youll love this, one sec. walksby Kyuubi with steaming cup of teaKyuubi: gimme that, brat. downs tea- Ugh, what kind of -POOF-Kyuubi is become womanKyuubi: Whatthefuck. Naruto: Oh yeahthat was gender-changing-potion-infused tea. I was gonna give to Zakura but geeyou just HAD to take it. Sakura: WowNaruto was actually strategichowsurprising

Kyuubi: IHATEyou-is shaking with anger- I cantI dontURAGHH!!! I WANT TO BE CHANGED BACK NOWWWW!!!!!!!!!! Zakura: Well, too bad. Youll have to find an antidote like everyone else. Kyuubi: -is brokenYondaime: glomps Naruto- Thats my boy! Naruto: Fuck yeah! Choji: Wha-huh? Who? Shikamaru: its just a fan Choji; Well, cool. chows downShikamaru: -curls up against him and napsSuperman: Im here now citizens! How may I help? Itachi: -gasp- You should try some incest! It totally has superpowers! Deidara: Check it out! Hands on my palms! Sasori: listen, hero-boy, Im more evil and insane than youd ever imagineso back the fuck out. Haku: GUESS MY GENDER!! Superman: Obviously youre a little girl. Haku: No. Im a sixteen-year-old boy. That man over there is my lover. Superman: even I cant help this placeIm leaving before I become poisoned by it Lee: YOUR OUTFIT IS SUPER YOUTHFUL!! IT ROCKS MY SOCKS!!! Naruto: You wear leg-warmers Lee: -shrugs- Theyre like youthful socks. Superman: -leavesGaara: -has overdosed and lies in a sugar-induced stupor-

Kiba...Shino... Congratulations I think you all deserve some music -sets FIVE (the old boy band) playing continuouslyAlso Choji can have my 1/2 pence coin for being able to go all Butterfly on us! Whats the first thing you'll do when you get outta here? Anyone can answer. Enjoy your final days -x- He-Yan Kiba: FUCK YEAH!! Shino: Thanks. Zakura: Oh godWHY?! Kyuubi! Do something! Kyuubi: -still brokenZakura: damn my sadism Choji: ok? This awesome! I just keep getting gifts! Kiba: its not fair! He came in late! Choji: Oh please. You always got it better than me. Kiba: Yeah, cuz I have a sexy boyfriend. kisses ShinoChoji: -smiles, sighs, and looks down at snoozing ShikaOrochimaru: FUCK SASUKE!! Itachi: NO!! ME FIRST!!!! Jiraiya sigh- Im writing more of my new story Kabuto: -facepalmKimimaro: I dont really have a choice do I? Gaara: -snaps out of stupor, puts an arm around Kimi and they have momentNaruto: Im gonna go to Ichiraku!! Yondaime: -sad smileMASSIVE GIFTAGE TIME! Naruto: A jacuzzi... filled with RAMEN! Sakura: A Sasuke-face pillow... that smells like Sasuke! (why did I have that?)

Shikamaru: a more comfortable spot to sit/lie down, with good cloud-watching view! Ino: A magic spotlight that follows you around! Hinata: A talking Naruto plushie! With real duplicating action, so you can surround yourself with them (for better or for worse)! Shino: a big crate of rare tropical praying mantises... and I remembered to poke air holes! Lee: A compact gymnasium room for all to use (although I'm sure you're the one who'll like it most)! You've had nowhere to train since the fic started! Neji: a golden 'Champion Whore' belt for your trophy case! It's one belt that DOESN'T hold your pants up! Gaara: A frap, no, two dozen, no... a HUNDRED FRAPS! Kankuro: (takes Kuroari, fills with assorted muffins and hands back) Kurenai: a full-scale replica of your fave spot in Konoha... MADE OF CHOCOLATE! Tsunade: A slot machine... that pays out in completed paperwork! Just put in 'to fill out' instead of coins, and... Jiraiya: KY Jelly... with antivenom! I thought this'd be useful. Orochimaru: Your gift is... Elian Gonzales. Kabuto: A shield... and it's fangirl-proof and reinforced with loopholes! No more head trauma for you! (shin-kicks Kabuto) Itachi: Uh... ONE HUNDRED MORE FRAPS! Kisame: Here's a sandwich. Deidara: Not sure if you're dead, but... here's your body weight in nice clay that moves and changes colors on your whim! You can make exploding chinchillas that look and act like real ones! Or whatever! Sasori: If you're alive, you get... Puppet Third Hokage! Hope these gifts are fine, Lucifel! Everyone: Oh. My. God. Lucifel: Yeahthis is from Avatarjk for the challenge he set up -STAMPEDE TO THE PRESENTSIt was a very merry time. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed and abused their presents. Gaara had to take and hide Kankuros muffin leaving him in a desperate search, and Gaara promptly went into overload trying to beat Itachi in a race to drink all their fraps first. People tried to figure out who the fuck Elian Gonzales was for a bit before throwing him out the window. They spread out in the gymnasium just to chill and shoot some youthful hoops. Naruto almost had an orgasm of happiness and promptly drained his Jacuzzi and went to sleep in it. Ino, hamming it up in the spotlight all the while, stole Sakuras pillow, and then used it to nap in kabutos lap. Shikamaru woke up for a second a moved to the gift-spot where he continued dozing and Choji joined him.

Kurenai ODed on chocolate is currently a quivering mass on the floor. And thats what happened with that. Er...Hi! Look, I know I haven't reviewed for like...13 chapters but I'm back now! And I've been reading every chapter too! But, see, I'm sort of sickened. Seriously though, lu-chan, you let INO in here? Gosh, I let the Mary-Sue thing go, but this? Not so sure. Moving on, Gifties! Deidara-san: Er...Fireworks, gunpowder, glitter and, um...a circus? Neji-san: You get a harem, and high-quality hair-products. Haku-san: You get a white bunny. A REAL one. Zabuza-san: Uh...The Saw series? Kiba-kun: Five ginormous, dog/bug friendly wedding cakes. Jiraiya-san: *pfft*...Sarutobi-sama. Kyuubi-kun: Um, Kin told me that she enjoyed your little 'play-date', so can she come over again? She said she'll bring her own toys! Sakura-chan: You know what? You deserve better that a skank for an ex-bestfriend and an idiot with no taste. I give you a potion that will erase your memories of them, if you'd like. Kabuto-baka: A punch to the face. Maybe that'll wake you up, jerkwad. (No hugs for you!) ...Oh, I almost forgot! Lu-chan never reviewed that one-shot I posted! Anyways, Sincerely to most of you, Kryah (who still writes 'Jesus CHRIST thats a long letter' reviews) Sakura: what the hell? Two massive reviews in a row!? Lucifel: I only left in the good onesbut its KRYAH. Ive gotta let her have some leway. No one get any ideas ok? glaresKiba: More importantly, WHY are you complaining? These last gifts have been KICKASS!! Lucifel: Anyway, inos here for a specific reason. I think youll like it in the end. smileDeidara: -slips red potion down Yondaimes throatyeah, he can do thatYondaime: -hack, cough- WTF?! spots Kyuubi- Ohshit.. Kyuubi: -still broken, can not think about ninetailsSo, yeahHaku cuddled his bunny like the adorable kid he is. Zabuza spent a few hours just staring at and stroking the saw movies lovingly. Deidara made lotsa explosions, giving people headaches he was promptly ready to blow awayteeheehee

There was more cake. And they were happy. Kabuto: OW!! WTF?! Sakura: -snicker- yessss. Ino: Whats to wake up from? sprawls on his lapSarutobi: Wtf is this place? Jira/Tsu: SENSEI!!!! Orochimaru: Old man! I thought I killed joo! Yondaime: hey Sarutobi: -stares in shock at the whole place- Socan I leave now? Yondaime: No one would blame you. Sarutobi: -scoots away slowlyamber: ya know what i just realized, i have a chocolate fountian in the sloset! kata: omg! go get it! i wanna invite my emo friends so we can all get naked in it!! amber: ... you are so wierd. kata: -hiss- get it! amber: be right back! kata: anyway, i need to see who the cutest couple is in that room. so can we have a vote? i wanna see what everyone thinks! Kurenai: -shaking- mustgetfountain Tsunade: eat a salad Kurenai: HISSSS!! NOO!!! Tsunade: -slaps foreheadYondaime: -looks blushingly over at Kyuubi- yknowyou look a little better as a womando you still kiss as good? Kyuubi: -stunned out of broken- Ino. Yondaime: Huh?

Kyuubi: I will NOT make out while in this bodyfuck it. Im going to another fic to change back. points threateningly at Yondaime- You better still be in this fucked-up mood when I return. Yondaime: ummk? Naruto: WTF? Deidara: yay. smileZakura: Does anyone even dispute Haku and Zabuza? Orochimaru: Well there is lee and Gaara Zakura: fuck it Were not doing this. Haku: awww. Zabuza: Lets do it! Zakrua: no. sit down. Zabuza: -grumblesDanie: Oh... we can have the pool room again? Anjiru: Thanks Lucifel-chan! -runs to the pool roomDanie: Anyway, we're planning on going on a Lolicon themed party and we wanted to bring one of the people in here. Anjiru: But seeing as no one can leave until the last chappie... Danie: ...we guess the Loli themed party will have to go here! Anjiru: Unless Lucifel-chan has any objections? Anyway again, so what Ita-kun? What's wrong with old fans coming back? Danie: It's like you aren't happy to see us... -throws in a big box of cookies... againAnjiru: No... they aren't spiked with anything. Danie: Except Vodka. Anjiru: Well, toodles. -Danie and AnjiruLucifel: ah, sorry girls. Only I can make the themes. Good idea though! Maybe you should write it! If not, send some invites, Im sure a lot of these guys will stop by on their way out. Itachi: -snort- Yeah the fuck right. And Im not.

Neji: yeahthese girls were a littlescary. Lucifel: well, I luv ya girls. Enjoy the pool room! Tsunade; they made cookieswith Vodka? Orochimaru: Yeah, its possible. Tsunade: Fuck it, Im not disputing or being upset by it. Im just fucking excited! divesKurenai: chocolatechips? Hinata: No, you should really rest. worriedTsunade: why is it that every time something angers you you have to resort to violence? is it just in your barbaric nature or a very bad habit? Kiba and Shino: congradulations guys! may your marrage be beautiful and sweet! may i attend the wedding? i promise to not cause havock! MiniDeath (P.S. : happy thanks giving everyone! (hands out pieces of pumkin pie to everyone)) Tsunade: Eh, solving things with words and emotions sometimes you screw up and dont express what you meanpunching someone is pretty fucking clear. Lucifel: Fuck yeah Jiraiya: -whimperOrochimaru: Well, think about itwere you ever confused about how she was feeling? Jiraiya: No, she was always very clearly pissed. Orochimaru: Then the woman has a point. Tsunade: -snortShino: Sorrywere not gonna rush right into it. Kiba: uhyeah. Of course not-thinks- whoops Everyone: PIES!!!!!! Zakura: -spikes a certain piece with red potionUmm, and yeah. I was wondering why Sai hasn't been thrown in there and I want to throw him so -throws Sai in-

Also: If I were to throw a couple sets of handcuffs in there, how many of you would use it for perverted crap? BE truthful! Ino: ohI dont feel so good Sai: Well, hello everyone. Sakura: Hi? Who the fuck are you? Sai: you seem younger Zakura: She is. By about one story line. Shell meet you after she get sout of here. Sai: I seeso, Narutos doesnt know yet how very small his penis is? Because I expect before I informed him he hd the delusion of being average Naruto: OoYOU FUCKER!! Orochimaru: I hope hes the FuckEE. Sai: well Orochimaru: Oh yeah, baby. Sai: So, do I have to stay here? Zakura: Not reallyunless you want pie. Sai: I can stay a bit. Ino: SeriouslyIm sick Choji: Holy shit! Ino: What? Choji: Youre face! burst out laughingEveryone: -looks and has the same reactionIno: Wtf? looks in mirror- NOOO!! -Her face is puffy and red and her eyes are gooeyWTF?!?! Zakura: Damnlooks like a potion allergy Ino: NO! NONONONO!! tries to hide but spotlight follows her-

Kabuto: now, now, its not that bad. Ill make it better-tries ot healnothing happensWtf? Orochimaru: Well, so much for not needing your powers Zakura: Damn, what perfect timing. Ino: -sobsZakura: Anyway, show of hands? Oro/Ita/Dei/Sas/Sai/Kiba/Gaa/Jira/Cho/Kure/Tsu/Nej/Ino/Zak/Zabu/Kan/Kabu: -raise handsZakura: Two-thirdswhy am I not surprised? Hinata: Oh my. Haku: Wait, does having them used on you count? Zakura: Yeah. Haku: Oh. raises handChouji: CHOUJI!! -huggle- YAY, the big guy's here! -hands over cake- ARE YOU GAY?!?! Ino: What were you thinking when Sakura got in the same team with Sasuke? ...I'LL MISS YOU ALL WHEN THIS THING IS OVER! -grabs everyone into a bonecrushing group hug and wails in misery- -smooches Itachi/Deidara/Shikamaru/Orochimaru, but gives Yondi a small peck on the cheekAnd Lucifel, you're a genius for coming up with this!! So I'll give you internet cake! Bye again! Lucifel: I has cake. Choji: Damn, I want somethis bag of chips kicks ass thoughand ummwell yeahit seems like more people than I realized I are as well Kiba: Fuck yeah. smooches ShinoItachi: I wont miss any fans. Deidara: youre too mean ye

Suddenly, there was a crash and something jumped through a momentarily-appearing window. He swooped down and gathered Deidara in his arms and when he was able to be seen he was so much like Sasori, and SO bishie that only a fangirl could have made him. Sasori: Daimos. Daimos: Father. Naruto: Youre a puppethow do you knock someone up? Sasori: Im thorough. Daimos: I bet your regretting it now. Sasori: No. Daimos: And why not? Sasori: Two reasons-walks up- One. kisses Daimos passionately making him drop Deidara- Youre fucking hot. Two. stabs Daimos- Youll make a brilliant puppet. Me version 2.0. Deidara: -gapesDaimos: wtf? Sasori: -smirksDaimos: Father, Im disappointed. Did you think I was so unlike you? rips off cloak to reveal a strange working of wood, metal, chakra, and flesh.- Im mostly inhuman alreadybut better. Your issue was not leaving enough humanity. I have left it. Your little prick does nothing. Sasori: Ah. And the kiss? Daimos: -pounces and pins him to the floor and theyuhyeahDeidara: -watches in horny shockOrochimaru: WHOOO!! Itachi: YES! Father/Son INCEST!!! Everyone else: EWWWW!!!! Ino: Angerandummdude I cant look away

Itachi: Isnt it great? Jiraiya: This is way better puppet sex than Team America Eventually Sasori and Daimos are done. Daimos: -ahem- Now, Deidara. Deidara: Yeah? Daimos: I did come here is to get youthat was an unexpected detour Deidara: Im yours yeah!! pouncesJiraiya: YESS!! Kiba no what about me? Why are you leaving me for Shino? (cries) Haku you are so cute ah I love you! (huggles)You too Zabuzabu (more huggles) Chojichojichojichojichojichojichojichojichoujichojichouji hi SQUEE Shikashika it will be alright. Smile and be happy dancing in the clouds with fairies and unicorns :) Sasori and Deidara my art is way better than yours lol lets hang out ITACHI KISAME ITACHI KISAME ITACHI KISAME neither of you are good enough for each other. That is a compliment ya know :D Itachi: why does she say every name likea million times? Kiba: Because...wait, what about you? Shino: Fuck you bitch. Hes mine. Choji: Im afraid. Naruto: Are there any questions? Sakura: In the beginning. Naruto: Does that mean we can move on now? Deidara: Hey! My art rocks! Sasori: You insult our art and then ask us to hang out? Daimos: Ahem, Dei? Attention here. gives hickey-

Deidara: Oooh, yes sir. Ceyx: I'm sorry I was gone so Long. I really have no excuse. That being said...it'a all Ashlynn's fault. Ash: Oh you are so dead! you and your little cat too. Ceyx: if you refer to my gf as a cat one more time I'll send you to Mom's place for Christmas. Anyway, I have a couple of umm personal questions... Ash: Same here. Like, why haven't you made a hinata/kurenai lemon yet? Ceyx: Geez and I was just gonna ask what her thoughts were on Naruhina but oh well. here's the situation: I haven't kissed my gf yet, and she seems to lack a libido. However when presented with a Sasuke poster she proceeds to makeout with it. My question is "How do I get her to kiss me like that?" Lucifel: CEYX!!!!!! Sakura: what about sex? Lucifel: no, my son you whore. Sakura: Oh whatever. Kiba: HELL YEAH NARUHINA!! Yondaime: -nodsNaru/Hina: -BLUSHKurenai: EW! No! Shes my student! Nononononodo I have anymore chocolate? Tsu/Hina: -hide chocolate- No. Orochimaru: Obviously some Sasuke Cosplay is in order. Itachi: who WOULDNT hit that? Naru/Lee/Kiba: -raise handsItachi: you guys dont count. Tsunade: Honestly? Just show you care and respectbut you DO want her. Shell warm up soon enough. If not, be blunt. Thats always good. Sai: I agree. Which is why Im curious as to why you pretend your chest is real. Tsunade: I am SO gonna kill you.

Sai: Nah, Im done with my pie. Toodles. hops offNaruto: Gaaaaay. Ok Sakura, please listen very carefuly... SasuGAY is a gay ass emo! He does not like you or anyone else but himself. He is an egotistical teme-baka with nothing better to do then prance around his room in a dress when noone looks. He is not brave, strong, cool, hot or anything else! He is a snively little wimp and without the curse mark and sharingan, he would be POWERLESS! He is not worth your time whatsoever. You are a nice girl and deserve way better ok? (GO OUT WITH KABUTO) Stop fawning over someone who is to self conceded to even notice you!. Down to business now, peeblas (gives Gaara and Itachi tons of fraps) Anyway, do u guys think it would be ok to stick a firecracker in someones shirt? Cuz I was thinking about it and...(cough) I brought BROWNIES! Oh yeah, Rainas out of her emo box and moved to the emo corner! I tried to talk to her yesterday and she fuckin bit me! Sakura: Why wasnt that rant edited out? Zakura: It was a better one than weve had of latesort ofreally just to grind your gears, Ino: Ok, listen. EVERY ninja wouldnt be as strong without their special techniques! You cant use that as an excuse! Without his style Neji wouldnt be as tough! With bugs or dogs Kiba and Shino would SUCK! Kiba/Shin: HEY! Shikamaru: I hate to say it, but she has a point Gaara: That make my Lee the bets ninja ever. Its all his own effort. kissLee: -smileEveryone: BROWNIES!! Kurenai: Brownies? Chocolateneed Hinata: no! Kurenai-sensei! Deidara: Of course its ok! Its ART!! Sasori: -facepalm-

Daimos: Ahhhwell, thats all I needed really. Father, you and I will face off again. swirls offSasori: -nails him it the head with a shuriken and he falls dead- Or like, now. And you looe. Deidara: Awwwoh! Hey! Nice! Itachi: Wowemo kids are weird when theyre not my sexy little brother Deidara: emo-corner, hehe, yeah Jiraiya: You gonna use that potion Oro? Orochimaru: Im saving itmeow. Jiraiya: mmm, fair enough. kissTsunade: -gagsKyuubi: BACK AND MASCULINE BITCHES!!! Yondaime: -thinks- DAMMIT! Why is he still hot?! Lucifel: All righty! Next chapter will be semi-serious. I mean, still totally full of humor, but the theme will be rather plot-like. I hope you enjoy. Weve only got five left! I cant believe it!! Also, I hate to do thisbut I have a cheating tactic to propose. In order to get my 1,000 reviews, if there are any chapters you havent reviewed, separate the review you plan to give into different parts and submit them as separate reviews for those chapters, k? alright, help me cheat to win!! HURRAH!!

Ask Sakura 53 5 Lucifel: Wellthat worked. One chapter later I rocketed from 823 to 900. NINE FREAKING HUNDRED. I love you all SO MUCH. Seriously, I can not believeI meanseveral people split their review into two or three, but a few of you went full-out,

giving me ten plus reviews. Thank you. I know its not really legit, but I mean come on, this is freaking Ask Sakura! Please continue to split your reviews. I need about 25 reviews per chapter now so dont hold back! Im late this week for several personal reasons. Mostly finals. Next week will probably be late too, but the last three will be right on target! I hope. Anyway, yeah. Several things attributed to being late, and Im sprry that its a full two days. But it couldnt be helped Ok, so. This week is a semi-serious affair. Onlynot really, maybe, sort of. Its my big challenge as far as writing this fic. A massive wave of fog rolls over the scene and suddenly each character is in their own little world. Each characters world portrays a world where they are completely and totally happy. They know where they previously were, the question is if they care. They live in the world as if they always had, using whatever advantages come with automatically. Whoevers name is in bold is the person whos special world it is. The only thing is theyre still answering questions. Zakura: And Im just chillin in the room. Haku: Us too. Zakura: wtf? Zabuza: What? Were happy. Haku: -smiles and leans against Zabuza lovinglyZakura: holy shit. Thats extreme. So cute I think I need to go kick a bunny to get the taste out of my mouth. >:D Bwahahahahahaha!...Sakura-Sampi omfg! o_O Your the coolist of them all! And so are you Zaku! Ok! Sakura and Kabuto siting in a tree K-i-s-s-i-n-g *give's zakura-chan and sakura-sampi and oro-sama and kabuto-kun a cookie.* Wellgives every one a cookie but only zakura and sakura and oro and kabuto two chocolet chip cookies.* ^^ Injoy! :D Sakura: -is sitting in a sunny study full of medical and jutsu scrolls. On the desk is a photo of her, Sasuke and two kids that are a weird cross of them both- Hmm? Oh, thank you. and no. As you can see Im now happily married to Sasuke-kun! Sasuke: -sticks his head in- Darling, take a break from work and come cuddle with me before the kids get home.

Sakura: Ok! And Ive got cookies for them and everything! Sasuke: Youre such a good wife. kissesSakura: -sighs happily~ Kabuto: -is chillin in a laboratory, working his creepy skillz while Orochimaru lingers nearby- Um, thank you? Orochimaru: Good job lately Kabuto. Im very impressed. Kabuto: Ah, thank you Orochimaru-sama. Orochimaru: Of course, you are my favorite after all. kisses~ -elsewhere-Orochimaru is sitting on a huge, snakey throne with attendants everywhere and Jiraiya sitting beside him stroking his arm and kissing him oftenKabuto as Servant: A cookie for you, Orochimaru-sama. Orochimaru: -sigh- Yes, another tribute to my greatness. How marvelous to rule the world. Jiraiya: you rule my world Orochimaru: Youre too sweet. smooch~ Zakura: -eats cookieFather... Son... -is shocked- wow... The pairings get even stranger, maybe you'll have a KyuuYonNaru threesome next... -throws in an army of penguins armed with sporksHmm, Ino does anyone actually like you? and why is it you have no pupils? -gives Deidara an album of Sasori in sexual positions- Puppets are ever so easy to pose!! June x Lucifel: Thats the plan. ^_^

Naruto: WHAT?! Lucifel: not really. Naruto: oh, ok! dives back into his endless ramen poolYondaime: -yeah, this is his ideal world to- Son! Stop eating and come let me teach my secret jutsu! Kushina: And afterwards Ill make us a family dinnerof ramen! Naruto: You guys are the bets parents ever! -family huggingSasuke: -passing by- Hey Naruto! Want to go train after dinner? Naruto: Hell yeah! My Dads teaching me a new technique! Ill kick your ass with it! Sasuke: Yeah, good luck! See you after dinner! Naruto: See ya! ~ Zabuza: Penguinsand sporks? Damn. Haku, do you mind? Haku: not at all, go ahead darling. Zabuza: Its KILLING time!! rips into them and begind maniacally destroyed each and every oneZakura: So glad you two stuck around. rolls eyes~ Ino is in a luxurious room full of sexy man attendants all doting on her to no end while Sakura, totally chubby and ugly-fied walks around cleaning up Ino: Obviously! Im fucking princess of the world! I get what I want, when I want and everyone enjoys giving it! Sakura: Absolutely Ino-sama. Ino: Buwahahahahah!!!

~ Deidara: -in a huge studio full of all the makings of explosives and such- Whythis should be interesting. Ill have to have Sasori-chan re-enact these for me, yeah. Sasori: -over his shoulder- Absolutely. After all, we do make the best arttogether. Deidara: Mmm, meow. ~ Haku: My, everyone has some kind of romantic needthats a little sad. Zabuza: BUWAHAHAHAHAMUWAHAHAHAHA!!!! cuts a penguin in halfHaku: Sometimes I wonder HOW I stay so happy. Zabuza: Thats 1,000 so far!! gathers Haku up and kisses passionatelyHaku: Oh yeahteehee. whats wrong with weird pairings o.o i got a gaaraxtsunade planned for the future, yeah. I have one question, back like a long time ago, there was a whore-off between neji and itachi and orochimaru, who won? And i dare Ino and Neji to have a whore off, yeah. Gaara: -cough violently- Me and WHO?! Gaaras Mom: Calm down darling. You have too much business as Kazekage to worry about some fangirls imagination. Especially if you want time with that boyfriend of yours. Gaara: yes, Mom. Yashamaru: Gaara-chan, dont forget your meeting this afternoon. Gaara: -nods~ Tsunade: -sitting in the head chair of a gambling house, beating out all challengersWhos next?? reads letter- Eww, no. Im happily married, thanks. Jiraiya: Whos happy?

Tsunade: Shut up you. And get me some sake. Jiraiya: -rolls eyes- yeah, yeah ~ Neji: Obviously I won. I am head of the main branch, I win EVERYthing. Hisashi: Yes, Neji-sama Neji: And, being the boss of this family, Im the best. ~ Ino: Obviously Im the better whore. Look at my freaking harem! And sakura agrees, dont you? Sakura: Yes, great one. Ino: Will you send for my first husband little bitch? Sakura: Sasuke-sama! My lady requests your presence! Sasuke: -struts in wearing just a silk robe- Yes, mistress. Ino: I need a massage Sasuke: Right away. gets to it~ Itachi: -hanging out in the Uchiha main room, curled up on the couch with his best friend, Sasuke and his family talking happily and doing family stuff with some uncles and aunts.- Oh, Neji all the way. He makes up for in talent with sheer experience, heh Best friend: Hey, whos this now? Itachi: Nobody specialunlike you. kissBest Friend: Better not be. Sasuke: nii-san! Will you train with me tomorrow? Itachi: yeah My. Uchiha: Itachi, son, is that boyfriend of yours staying over tonight?

Itachi: Are you? BF: -shurgs- You want me to? Itachi: yeah. BF: Then yeah. Mrs. Uchiha: Then tell your parents. We dont want them worrying. Oh, and Itachi I picked you up some nail polish while I was out. Itachi: Sweet! BF: Gaaaaay. Itachi: -kisses- and youre not? Bf: -smriksSasuke: -gagsItachi: -kicksAfter the cuddleing, he makes sweet, passionate love. 'Cause she's hotter then all of you, and he loves her so. Kabuto: *Covers him in rabid fire ants. Of doom!* Kyuubi: Hm. Chuck Norris beat you up too, just like Yondi. You like -him- now? Ino: Well! Gaara and Kiba wished for your torture, so...it shall be! *Makes her looks -excatly- like what she thinks Sakura is -really- like* P.S. *Tosses in those folks from Kingdom Hearts, to be -random-* Lucifel: Soooo awesome. Zakura: god, get a PM. Lucifel: Maybe we already do? wiggles eyebrows~ Kabuto: WTF?! Orochimaru: -instantly destroys them- You all right love? Kabuto: Yeah, Im fine. Thank you Orochimaru-sama

Orochimaru: I already told you. Youre my favorite. Of course Ill look out for you. Kabuto: -blush~ Meanwhile Kimi is in a kitchen, cooking something up. Kabuto wanders in and kisses his neck Kabuto: Smells good-kisses again- Tastes good Kimimaro: would you stop? Oto-sans coming over for dinner and I want to impress him. Kabuto: Yeah, yeah whateveryou have time. Kimimaro: Later. Kabuto: -pauses- Ok, its later. jumps~ Kyuubi: -chilling on the throne of the demon world, servants and harem-members galore, the human and demon world on their knees around him- No. I have no need of Chuck Norris. Muwahhaahaheheheh. ~ Ino: -SHRIIIIIIIEKS- I look like-Sakura! Sasuke: but you look so gorgeous Ino: Better than medammit! No! She not! Shes not! Sasuke: Of course not, shh, darling its all right. holds closelySakura: Ino-sama, you could never resemble my pathetic self~ Haku: Hi! Zabuza: -sitting down heavily- thats all the penguinshey, new kids! Haku: No killing these ones. Whats up?

Kingdom Hearts hero: Uhwere not really sure. Haku: Well, I have some video-game weapons. Wanna help me learn how to use them? KHH: Sure, why not? Lucifel: the next eight reviews are all from Moonidiot. Yay! 1Wow, this first chapter was really short ^^ HAHA! I shall help you win xD Sakura: -cuddling in bed with her husband Sasuke- yeah, it was really short originally wow that was so long ago. Sasuke: It was worth the wait to get me, wasnt it? Sakura: completely.
2Spooky, Kabuto is REALLY gay in this o.o and Orochimaru...is drooling after Sakura... trauma!!

Kabuto: If by really gay you mean liking men, nothings changed. Orochimaru: well, youre a little less flaming. Kabuto: Wellwhatever. ~ Orochimaru: Yeah, but I rule the ninja world now, so its all good. Jiraiya: Hey, no drooling over anyone but me. Orochimaru: Ill drool over you all right 3o.o Orochimaru is so sick without his Jiraya -.Orochimaru: Oh yeah, you know it. Jiraiya: If Im your medicine you better take me on a regular basis. Orochimaru: Meow. 4O, Kiba and Shino were already a couple in this chappie? Didn't remember ^^ Kiba: -is out hunting with Akamaru in the wilderness- Hell yeah. I can hardly remember a time when we werent

Shino: Speaking of which, I was thinking Hinata should be the surrogate mother of our children. You can father them Kiba: this really is the best possible life. ~ Shino: -in a insect-filed garden tending to everything while Kiba and Akamaru help patiently- Kiba, will you get me some of those seeds from the counter? Kiba: Of course darling. Shino: thanks love. sighs- this is so nicepeace a serenity 5Tickle orgy! They MUST have one last one before it all ends! Ita/Oro/Dei/Nej: FUCK YEAH!!!! 6They're getting longer and longer ^^ Mwaha, I love this! Lucifel: Its awesome isnt it? Craziness
7o.o wow, last chapter was were the frappucinos started coming... And did Gaara just start his list? cool!

Gaara: Hehe, yeahdude, I could use a frap right now. Lee: Good thing I come prepared. hands frap- hey. Gaara: Youre early! Lee: Of course, you thought I could wait to see you? Gaara: -Kisses- Youre wonderful. Lee: I try to be thoughtful. Gaara: You arealways.
8Yondaime: ...I am so disappointed in you... My rolemodel has let me down! SOB! Anyways, Are you going to miss Naruto? Itachi: You're not going to miss me? Even if I gave you frappucinos...? -stacks of frappucinos are...stacked behind her. She sniffles saddlyGesh, I'm running out of things to say... NO, WAIT! WHO WANTS BOOTS?!?! -throws boots' into the room for anyone to get-

Yondaime: -while eating family dinner- What? Im sorry! Naruto: Eh, who cares about them? I still look up to you.

Yondaime: really? Naruto: of course. Youre the number one hokage everand my dad Yondaime: -becomes misty eyed and hugs Naruto tightlyKushina: Darling, youll embarrass him. Naruto: Naw, Ill deal-hugs back~ Itachi: So, you wanna be my new best friend? BF: HEY! Itachi: She has FRAPS. TONS of FRAPS, BF: but Im have the sexiness Itachi: Oh yeah? My little brother is sexier. BF: Is that a fact? Itachi: Yeah itpausesInevermind. I just got distracted for a second. Come on, lets get into bed. BF: -tackles~ Haku: BOOTS!! KHH: Im trying to show you the combo Haku: Its BOOTS. Give me a second. fawns over themI know this was probably already asked in the next chapter, but Kyuubi what the heck!!?? I love you all! Kyuubi: Listen, bitch. I OWN this fucking world. I do who and what I please. All attendants: -bow and mutter praiseKyuubi: -settling into his throne- damn right.

Lucifel: Ok. The next TWENTY FOUR (plus one interlude) Are form He-Yan. You RCOK kiddo.
Review Part 1 Did I not review them all? dunno but lets find out... to help the plottly theme I shall wave my magic wand and rid everyone of their presents *creepy giggle before strokes wand* I has founded you now XD

Haku: NOOI still have my sword? Zabuza: I guess cz you earned them, they werent given to you. KHH: Makes sensenow. ABB, up left, X. Got it? Haku: Sort of? KHH: Lets keep working then ~ Kabuto: My Sexy glasses!! Orochimaru: Ill make you some new ones. I owe you so much anyway after all the loyalty youve shown me. Kabuto: Ahthank you
Review Part 2 I CANNOT believe I didn't review all of them... I am appaled with myself *bows* deepest apologies I also want to grant one wish to the person of Lucifels choice ^_^

Lucifel: HeYan, trust me. Its ok. winkSakura: Seriously, wheres the issue here? Sasuke: youre not in my arms? Sakura: -happy meep and crawls into his armsReview Part 3 This time a kiss for Kabuto... just on the cheek *pecks* Kabuto: eh? Orochimaru: -licks cheek- better? Kabuto: -bluush-

~ Kimimaro: kisses Kabutos cheek tooKabuto: what was that for? Kimimaro: Being amazing as always Orochimaru: Im HERE!!! struts inKabuto: Dont knock or anything. Kimimaro: Dont listen to him, Youre always welcome here. Oto-san. Review Part 4 Now for Shino and Kiba... free catering for your wedding ^_^ We know how much Kiba likes his food, obviously not as much as he likes Shino though Kiba: Sweet! Free stuff is the shit! Akamaru: ARF! HELL YEAH!Kiba: so, can you get us taco bell?! ~ Shino: Well, sure except Im already married Kiba: honey, the suns setting. Come to bed. Shino: And enjoying it. wry smileReviwe Part 5 Also you'll never guess whats in nine days... MY BIRTHDAY! :O I know, trust me I won't mature in the slightest Lucifel: OMG!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HE-YAN!!! streamers and balloons fall everywhereHaku: OOOH!! starts playing with confettiKHH: does he always do this? Zabuza: yeeeah.

Review Part 6 Cheesecake for everyone! Just because it's got me through my mock exams... which I am acing even with Shikamaru's help... that reminds me I still have to get him back. Ino: -finally clearing of the Sakura appearance- FOREHEAD-GIRL! Sakura: Y-yes, mistress? Ino: Feed me. leans backSasuke: No! Let me! Other servants: ME! No me! ~ Sakura: hey! Cake! shares with her loving family~ Kankuro: cheesecake huh? Temari: Give me some! licks whipped cream offGaara: as Kazekage you really should help out the citizens Kankuro: do you have muffins for exchange? Tem/Gaa: -pulls out massive baskets of muffinsKankuro: awwww yeah. Review Part 7? I dunno I've lost count >< But yes Shikamaru's demise... would work more if I could attack Choji but he's just too cute XD Shikamaru: -relaxing on a grassy hillside. There are loose clouds in the sky and light breeze. No civilization for miles- If you can manage to plot my demise in a way I cant escape I deserve it-totally calmReview Part 8 This time I think Lucifel deserves a prize... so you get to choose and I shall award it next time

Lucifel: Wellobviously I dont need anything. Why dont you just give Naruto some ramen? Lol. Haku: Wheeeeeeee!!!! tumbles around in the backgroundKHH: So I give up-leavesZabuza: Wow, you were so cute you drove someone AWAY. Daaamn. Review Part 9 o almost in double figures >< I feel so so very bad BIG apologiseseses but I has come up with a great challenge... TAKESHI's CHALLENGE or NINJA CHALLENGE... the decision is up to you, but no using powers specially from Kyuubi-san Lucifel: We already had a competition so Haku: Ill do it!! runs for the obstacle courseZabuza: -sighs and follows him to keep an eye on himReview Part 10 Did you know that Sasuke sponsors Ninja Challenge? that really is insulting to all the ninja's who are better than him... which is, well, everyone! Sakura: Wellhe does what he must to support the family. Sasuke: Of course! What kind of husband would I be otherwise? Kids: We love you mommy and daddy! Review Part 11 I cannot believe I missed so many... I just suck but yes... oh and Sasuke is defently part of this programme - Trans sexuals Itachi: Reeeeally? BF: You perv. Knock it off. Itachi: Would you really love me any other way? Mr. Uchiha: Get some sleep, son. Ita/BF: hehesuure Review Part 12 And there has only been one guy ever to complete all 4 stages... and he has gravity

defying hair hehe I like watching this just for the names Lucifel: lol. Love the ninja challenge commentarythat show kicks ass. Jiraiya: I completed Ninja challenge once. Tsunade: Suuuure you did. Orochimaru: Let him believe what he wants. Jiraiya: -sigh- living in this apartment with you guys is sapping my creativity. Orochimaru: Lets inspire you! Tsunade: Why not?! Jiraiya: Yesssssss Review Part 13 This is a bad number XC And I'm loosing concentration over what I'm supposed to be doing here... however if I can review EVERY single page then maybe Lucifel will forgive me Lucifel: you never had toactually yeah. Yeah you better work hard. wiggles eyebrowsHaku: Whoopsie! Slipped into the water again! runs back to the beginning- yay! New round! Zabuza: -shakes head and smilesReview Part 14 *yawn* Now Im just doing this for the hell of it... I have seriously run out of things to say . this doesn;t happen often Sakura: a fan is speechless?! This is the perfect world!!! ~ Itachi: damn. No one to make fun offoh besides your weird mole. BF: Shut up about my mole! A.H.S: -Twitches fuming-...Sasori...You...Are so fucking dead. -Pulls out her frying pan, doing one handed seals.- Forbidden Arts: Hell's Frying Pan jutsu! -Slams the top of his

head with the black flaming pan- Burn you bastard! -Hands the pan over to Kurenai.Noticed that you seemed to have misplaced yours. I am so fucking pissed right now. Aleara: Umm hi again. Anyhow, Zakura, wanna go out sometime? I know this great Les bar in Grass! And where the hell is Manda? -Hears a girlish shriek as she tosses in Sephiroth from FF7 Sasori: -all alone in a room full of prepped corpses, ready to be re-created- I really dont even care anymore. happily gets to works cutting apart the first victim~ Zakura: not really. I dont exist outside here so Haku: Oh, go for it! I did, and now Im a NINJA WARRIOR!!! Zabuza: -pats comfortinglyHaku: BWUHAHAHAHAA!! I AM CHAMPION! Zabuza: whats the prize for that competition anyway? Haku: I dunno. Zakura: Well, one drink at a bar might not be bad anyway.so long as we get it on afterwards. ~ Orochimaru: In the stable where he belongs of course. -smirk~ Kiba: Hes in a card! All my opponents can be sealed away with little trouble! Like My prized pokemon; Itachi!! Shino: And Im so proud of you. Akamaru: RUFF! me too!~ Manda: -in a world where the worldis inside him. Digesting- Im biding my time until I can exact my revenge. Hissseseseses. ~

Haku: OMG!!!! SEPHY!!! Sephiroth: heh? Haku: YOU ARE CO COOL!! I PLAY YOUR GAME ALL THE TIME AND SOMETIMES I PAUSE IT JUST TO STARE AT YOUR HAIR!!!! Sephiroth: uhreally? Haku: Oh yeah!! Zabuza: yeahhe doesits a littleweird. Sephiroth: I wish I could say hes the first person to say that. Zabuza: Well, I personally just like your sword Sephiroth: -raises eyebrowZabuza: ..ohdid I just say that? Haku: -snicker- ayup. Sephiroth: Im done-leavesReview Part 15 sorry if these are labeled wrongly I have a question, does Konoha have a shopping mall? Tsunade: No Jiraiya: Damn, but then I could take you shopping for writing material. Tsunade: Uh-huh. Well, its not my business. Take it up with Naruto, hes hokageI dont have anything to worry about Jiraiya: Hey, you ok? Tsunade: Uhyeah Review Part 16 Or does Suna for that matter? Or the fire country? Gaara: I dont know.

Temari: Yeah we do. Its where I go to make fun of other girls. Some of them talk back and then the real fun begins. Gaaras mom: Temari! Youre picking fights! Temari: No! Its just more fun to pick on people in pairs. ~ Lee: Shopping malls are not youthful! For they are conformist and that is DEFINITELY not youthful! Which is why they no longer exist!! -indeed, Lee is living in a world which can only be described asYOUTH. Every thing has a positive attitude, full of energya little scaryReview Part 17 Maybe I should compose a song? Do you think... how about a Sonnet and then you can all guess who it's for... Hinata: A song? Thatd be so lovely! -she is sitting in a rose-scented bubble bath the size of a swimming pool, candles light the scene and cutes animals skitter by outside the windowReview Part 17 I'm sure I'll have lost count but the song I shall have to work on Haku: He-Yan said 17 twice!! Lucifel: Who cares? Shes giving me like, fifty-billion reviews!! Haku: Kyaa!! Kimi and Hinata will have to sing it! Review Part 18 aww remember when there was only 4 of them... it was so loud... if anything it's got quieter with more people(not including Kyuubi) Sakura: I wish that were true of children. Sasuke: haha, well, well have to make our own noise Sakura: -blush~ Lee: The more people, the more YOUTH!!!!!!!

Review Part 19 Seriously you guys multiplied by chapter -.- but remeber this time where I reviewd MANY MANY MANY chapters all at one hehe it was so fun Sakura: I remember that Sasuke: Want a massage to help ease away those stressful memories. Sakura: God, youreamazing. Itsunreal. Sasuke: I know.
I is 7pm now... I think I has been doing this for almost and hour... almost o and Review Part 20

Itachi: God, those crazy fans. BF: SoI see Im not youre only fan Itachi: but youre my biggestin more ways than one. BF: PERV!! Itachi: Yes. Yes I am. Review Part 21 Ahh so much Sakura bashing... and there still is even in the chapter's 40 odd later lol But she knows it's only because she's pathetic... unfortunately Sakura is still closer to all the bishies then we will every be Sakura: Yeah, thats right bitch. Sasuke: -smiles and shakes headReview Part 22 At least I rekon it's it's 22... could be anything by now I suppose it doesn't really help my counting ability Lucifel: You Way lost track. I fixed your titles for ya. ^_^ Kisame: -Hanging at the beach with Itachi in a speedo rubbing him with oil and getting all up on him- Ummdo I have a question or not? Lucifel: Naw, just hadnt shown you yet. Kisame: whateverwait, what?! WHO?!

Lucifel: -is silentItachi: Relax, Kisame, just focus on me Review Part 23 This was the start of thr frappucino phrase... Who like's fraps more itachi or Gaara? Ita/Gaa: ME!!!! Gaaras mother: hey! We should go on a frap run right now! Gaara: You are truly the best mother ever. Review Part 24 This chapter is the same day as my birthday -hinthint- it would be very nice to have the next chapter by then... especially as I am liable to get pissed because my friends are bringing alcohol Lucifel: HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY HE-YAN!! YOU ROCK!! Deidara: Nice, yeah! Get smashed for me! sets off a sculpture of a raccoon- haha, yeah!! Review Part 25 I was gonna say this didn't have many reviews but then it wasn't a proper chapter either Kankuro: your moms not a proper chapter Review Part 26 I think I came in at chapter 12... possibley...maybe...kinda Shino: I cant believe someone actually went through it all like thisgod. Kiba: come inside for dinner, my love. kissReview Part 27 I think is is almost half of the chapters I've missed >< THis cannot be good Hinata: At least youre half way there! Heehee. smileFuzzy Animals: -in awe of the cuteness-

Review Part 28 Last one... hope you like the reviews lol Lucifel: Oh wowso youre done. Zakura: Dear fucking god. Ino: After that I need to relax. Sakura! Bring my pillow! Sakura: Right away maam! Ino: Yeah, it BETTER be right away. Im finally bossing you around so you better do it right. HT: wow, you updated on my birthday...( my b-day is on nov. 28th, incase you dunno ) amber: and i captured HT! HT: but it was only because of the ice cream cake kata bought me. amber: anyway, anyone want icecream cake before HT eats it all? HT: oh yes, and i decided to give you my chocolate fountian, kurenai. but only you, sakura, kyuubi, hinata, tsunade, and zakura can use it! oh, one more thought before i go... MY RAMEN IS COLD! T.T Lucifel: OMG! HAPPY BRITHDAY HT!!! Orochimaru: Does she die now? Cuz if youre not killing her Ill totally order her death. Jiraiya: Just say the word darling. cracks knucklesOrochimaru: ActuallynoI dont want you to just run around doing things for me Jiraiya. I need to be chasing something POOF!!!!!! Orochimaru is back in the main room. Orochimaru: wtf? Zakura: Oh hey, some-one made it back. Orochimaru: Wtf? Zakura: Youll figure it out Haku: Ice cream cake!! sits and devoursZabuza: Are you gonna share?

Haku: DO I have to? Zabuza: Yes. Haku: Why? Zabuza: Its ice cream cake Haku. I love you, but not enough to let you have all of that. Haku: Fair enough. ~ Kurenai: FUCK YEAH!! jumps into fountainKurenais world is a place full of endless chocolate that gives no repercussions ~ Naruto: COLD RAMEN?! NOES!!! Yondaime: You going to go train with Sasuke now? Naruto: Yeah, see you later! Thanks for dinner mom! Kushina: Of course dear. ^-^' Hehe sorry lucifel-chan about the last review! Anyhow! Sakura I dare you to date kabuto! Ino I dare you to fucking die you hoe! Sakura: No! Im married with children! To Sasuke! Sasuke: Exactly! And I wouldnt ever let her go! Nothing is more important than Sakura to me! Sakura: Look. I love you, I love this. But this is justtoo unreal. I know you want revenge more than me. And II need reality. I cant just live in my own mind. As much as it hurts, thats really important to me BAMF!! Sakura is back in the main room. Zakura: YES! I knew it! Youre one of the first!

Sakura: Wtf? What does that mean?! Zakura: youll see. Anyway, you now owe Kabuto a date. Sakura: fuck. ~ Kabuto: Aww, hell no. Orochimaru: You better not. I need you here. Kabuto: Of COURSE not. ~ Ino: I cant just die. Killing a character is against the rules. sticks out tongueSasuke: meow. Ino: Teehee. Choji: Why did you wear your hitai-ite like a pair of head underwear? Don't get me wrong, I love and respect head underwear, I'm just curious. Ino: AH HA you look like a puffer fish! Kiba: You lost my original gift to you, so instead: Here's a map of the grand line! When you get out of the room, you can go find One Piece and become Pirate King! Itachi: Which Akatsuki member chose the uniform? Choji: -in a stock closet the size of a baseball field, with a huge skylight under which he and Shikamaru are kicking back and relaxingin his case munching- I dont knowits just how the members of my family have always worn their forehead protectors. Shikamaru: -hands him another bag of chips- forget them. Just relax.-leans against him~ Sasuke: -gasp- Ino-sama is NOT!! Ino: ha! sticks out tongueSakura: Oh yes! I am far uglier then Ino-sama, I am unworthy to even be in her presence!! -back in the room-

Sakura: How long has THAT been happening? Zakura: Since we started. Sakura: Aww, fuck NO! Im gonna Zakura: -grabbing her- you CANT. Sakura: Why not? Zakura: Theres a reason for that. Sakura: fuck you. ~ Kiba: YES!!! THE PIRATE WORLD WILL BE MINE! Lets go Akamaru! Shino, I will return shortly! Shino: Ill be waiting darling! Good luck! Kiba: Youre wonderful, love. kissesShino: Of course, I have you. Kiba: MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OFF TO CONQUER THE PIRATE WORLD!! ~ Itachi: I dont know! I joined after the costumes were made. Mr. Uchiha: -knocking on the door- Itachi! Its morning! Come down to the station with me! Itachi: coming father! BF: -kisses goodbye- have a good day. Itachi: I will. See you tonight. Okay um... just tryin to help with the review counts here... Kabuto: we're all dying to know what you think, so who is hotter, Ino or Sakura? Kurenai: Which would you choose: world peace or a lifelong supply of chocolate? Sakura: Kinda random but...out of all the people in the room, who is your best friend? Ino: You've been getting some hate mail in there lately, but I just wanna say...I still think

you're pretty damn awesome. Peace. Lucifel: thanks! I love every review Im getting right now. ^_^ Kabuto: Erwhat? Orochimaru: Oh, it doesnt matter. Im sexier than both. Kabuto: Well, yes. Orochimaru: So, of the bitches? Kabuto: Ino has the better body. Orochimaru: -nod, nodKabuto: But Sakura has a cuter face. Orochimaru: eh, maybe. But shes such a ditz Kabuto: -blushing- its kind of cute Orochimaru: Cuter than me? Kabuto: WellI meanyoure sexy so Orochimaru: Are you kidding me? Kabuto: Uh. YeahI am. Dont know what Im thinking. ~ Kurenai: chocolate. Who needs world peace when you have eternal happiness? giddy smileAsuma: Kurenai, how long have you been here? Kurenai: Long enoughwaiting Asuma: Really? Kurenai: Im always waiting for youits why we divorced Asuma: YeahIm sorry. Thats why I found you. To apologize.

Kurenai: A little late, huh? Asuma: Yeah Kurenai: Its ok. This is all I wanted anyway. Itd be nice if it was real. And you know, I dont really feel satisfied. Now that this is done it just feels like something else should take its place. Asuma: I dont know what I can do. Kurenai: Nothing. I guess I just need something to wait for KAPOW Kurenai is back in the room. Kurenai: WHAT?! NO!! WHERED THE CHOCOLARTE GO?!? Zakura: -sighSakura: well, probablywait, like that whole class or everyone here? Zakura: Eh, here. Sakura: OhKurenai I guess. Or Haku. The people that arent total bitches all the time. Zakura: Fair enough. ~ Ino: Well, youre not the only one. smirkLucifel: The next set of eleven is from Kohaku Kawa!! Chouji: If you're gay who do you like? (anyone besides Shika?) Choji: Nojust Shikamaru. Shikamaru: -smiles and cuddles closerOKay, Yondaimei, you were Jiraiya's student ne? Did you have crushes on any of the sannin?

Yondaime: -erk- no...justNO! EWW! Kushina: Calm down, darling. Yondaime: -shudders- yes, I knowugh! Its just so gross!!

Sasori, why don't you make out with Deidara anymore anywhizzle? Sasori: because I have puppets to make-delves into his work-a few seconds laterSasori: DAMMIT!! Its just not going right! WHYWHYWHY?!?! rereads question- its him isnt it? Hes gotten into my mindnow I cant live without the distractions and competition of Deidaras obnoxious explosionshowobnoxious. SHAKAKAHN!! Sasori is back in the room. Sasori: ok? Zakura: Yo. I give kiba the voice card Kiba: Kick ass! A new assistant for dominating the pirate world!
I give kiba the libra card (bonus points if you figure out what it does)

Kiba: Yet another! Huzzah! WaitLibra? Akamaru: hrrm? wtf?Kiba: Its used fordecipheringthe weight ofa situation? I have no fucking clue.
I give Kiba the mirror card. mirror, mirror on the wall...

Kiba: Ohshes pretty-entrancedAkamaru: bark, yapyap. -you may want to start sealing theseI throw the dash card in. Good luck catching it. Kiba: eh? -all the cards explode and start wreaking their respective havocKiba: Shit! unseals staff and gets to workWho wants the Wood card yeah?

Kiba: Me! Just throw it in too! Akamaru: ARF! YAP BARK! yes! We can capture them all!I stick the light card to the ceiling, it's pretty bright.

Zakura: Fuck, that one got in here. Sakura: I cant see! Haku: wheee!! Light!! spins aroundZabuza: So, are you HIGH right now? Haku: Im not eliminating the possibility
from chapter one" Lucifel: I dont actually like Sakura more; I just wanted to make a come-back to Ask Ino" what ya'll got to say about that? I personally like Ino.

Sakura: Fuck you. ~ Ino: Of COURSE you like me! Im awesome! Muwahahahahaha!! I give Kiba the Song card. Kiba: Wait! No! I cantdidnt you already give me that fucking card?! Akamaru: yap. no, that was voiceKiba: WHATS THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE?! -a barrage of card attacks descendLucifel: and that was kohaku
Zakura, why aren't you nice to Sakura? I mean, you are a supressed part of Sakura's personallity that was created when she wanted to be more proper after she got a bit tougher. Plus, don't you look exactly like her? Dosn't that mean that you should compliment her? Everyone-STOP CALLING SAKURA STUPID! She was like, second in book smarts and didn't get that much extra training from Kakashi.

Zakura: No Im THE kick-ass part of her brain. She gives me a bad name. Wouldnt that piss you off? Sakura: Oh whatever.

Zakura: And no. we went over this. I dont look exactly like her. Sakura: -rolls eyesZakura: Besides book smarts means shit when it comes to real brains. Also, we know at least Shikamaru and Kakashi are more brilliant. AT LEAST. Sakura: -grumbleKiba you don't remember me? My heart is broken beyond repair. At least you have Shino who is an awesome person even though he so cruelly insulted me. I apologize if I offended. *gives cheese* Choji, sorry I scared you, I was in rabid fanhuman mode. *gives cookies*. What is your favorite color, animal, plant, and rock? Orochichi, Were you always a perv? Itachi, what makes you think i'm a girl?

Kiba: -is lying on his back, wrapped in vines, dash running all over the place, voices and songs eachoing everywhere, and a dopplganger sitting on his back- dammitI should never have tried thisI know I need Shino and Akamaru to keep me in linewhen I make my own decision I end up killed by a bunch of cards SHOOOOOO Kiba is back in the room Kiba: owwits bright Akamaru: ARFARFARF!! none of the other cards can see or move either! Get em!Kiba: WOO! captures and seals all the cards- see? Without my brains with me Im screwed Akamaru: yap, yap. its cool.Kurenai: What is this, a childrens TV show? Kiba: hehesorry ~ Choji: uhits ok? Shikamaru: -hugs closelyChoji: ummpurple, butterflies, edible kinds andsparkly ones? I dont know! Shikamaru: dont worry about it honey.

~ Orochimaru: Pretttty much. smile- All my servants must now be naked! Servants: yay! Naked time! ~ Itachi: becauseyouI.wait, what? Mr. Uchiha: Everything ok son? Itachi: uh.maybe I know what happened to Kakashi but why not bring him back? Hes such a big charecter!! Lucifel: Well, if I did all the big characters Id have even more peopleKakshi had his moment. Kakashi: Yo people. Lucifel: Oh fuck you. Kakshi: No, I just dropped my book last time and finally figured I left herethere it is! Bye all! Kiba: HeyI was reading that. ...Fine Sakura: i give you exact copies of the cards(they even have the same power) Kurenai: i give you another regenerating chocolate bar but with this one you dont get sick Haku: i give you an endless supply of nailpolish YOU HURT MY CAT! Now you shall feel my wrath! wait one sec *does some hand seal and her cat comes back but is in demon form now* my cat is as powerful as Kyuubi, have fun with him ^.^ Undinedemon Sakura: Really? -thunder and lightning all over and down from the ceiling descends a tall white figure with ice blue eyes and sexy robesSakura: W-who are you?

Figure: I am Yue. The second guardian of the Clow Cards. I WAS coming here because Kero told me someone else was after the cards, but nowI have to rectify the befouling of my masters greatest creation. Hand over the replicas. Sakura: meep. hands over cardsYue: -incinerates them- Now, dog-boy. Kiba: Meep. Yue: You claim to be able to control the cards? Sakura Kinomoto is the destined master, you realize this? Kiba: yeah wellfuck destiny. Yue: you will prove your worth. Kiba: NOW?! Yue: No. there is a more important plot at hand. Kiba: phew Kurenai: Well, good luck with that kiddo. eats chocolateHaku: YAYYY!! NAILPOLISH!! HEY! YOU! points at YueYue: me? Haku: Yeah, whats your name? Yue: Yue Haku: Cmere!! Yue: Why? Haku: JUST COME!! Yue: -comesKyuubi: As powerful as me you say? Cat: Fuck yes I am! Kyuubi: Well thenits all about first strike isnt it?

Cat: Say what? Kyuubi: -stabs it in the heart- Oh, I win! Subjects: ALL HAIL KYUUBI!! Kyuubi: Hmmthat was far more satisfying than even rulingfuck ruling! I want something to conquer! WAWAWAWAWA Kyuubi is back in the room. Kyuubi: Ok, and by that I meant setting up a fucking tournamentoh well, this works too. I still reveiw to help you make your goal -- even though some of my reviews were never posted :-P Sakura - if there was one thing you could remember from this place once it is gone, what would it be? Itachi/ Kurenai - one of the biggest aurgument for the illegality of incest is that it promotes predatory behavior within the family. Your views? Lucifel: Sorry! Well, heres your review this time!!!! Sakura: nothing Zakura: Bitch, Im warning you! Sakura: Fine! Kabutos a good kisser Kiba: OOOOH!! DAMN!! Sakura: shutupshutupshutup!! Zakura: Uh-huh Kurenai: Yeah, that makes sense. I approve. Itachi: -back at home now- Well, so what? Animals have predatory family shit sometimes, its not necessarily wrong Sasuke: but its incest! Itachi: So?

BF: Umits incest Itachi: Well, I cant live without incest! SHOOP DE WHOOP!! -Itachi is back in the room Itachi: -sigh- yeah, as much as I thoughtwellit wasnt worth it.
Kimimaro, What do you like best about being here? Hi Shino, you should apologize for calling random person a bitch. Random person is a very sensitive person. Congratulations Haku, whats your horoscope? Shikamaru what do you like best about Chouji? Here's a pillow, have a nice nap when you can. Its good to be youthful everyone!

Kimimaro: Right here, right now? That Im in Kabutos arms Kabuto: Of course! Orochimaru: You two make such a good couple. smiles- Im so proud of you. Kimimaro: -smiles shyly~ Shino: Er, whatever. Sorry? But hes mine bitch Kiba: Of course I am! Shino: you know, its almost scarier with you doting over me. I miss having to keep you in line. Kiba: what do you mean? Shino: I guess Im a glutton for punishment, but I miss having to look out for you. I suppose I just need to play caretaker SHAAAAA Shino is back in the room. Shino: Hey Kiba. hugs and kisses passionatelyKiba: UhhelloIm gonna be tested

Shino: like for aids? Kiba: no. for the kards. Shino: you did something retarded didnt you? Kiba: yeah Shino: -sighs- well, thats why Im here. Haku: Me? I dunnoI have no clue when I was bornso I pick Virgo. Sakura: you cant just pick! Haku: Yes I can. smileZabuza: dont arguejustdont argue. ~ Shikamaru: Because he listens. And supports me no matter whats going onbut right now, I can just kick back and relax. sighs~ Lee: YOSH!!!!!!! INDEED IT IS!! All the others: YOOOOOOOOOOOOUTH!!! Lee: Yes! Three cheers for youth my friend! Everyone: RAH! RAH! RAH!!! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUTH!!! I hope you get the 1k reviews... i'll help you by telling all my friends to review! Cake for you *everyone is suddenly covered in cake along with... uh... some other things that can't really be mentioned* Shikamaru: why are you so smart? and if someone outsmarted you would you attack them? Lucifel: thanks! I hope so too! Kiba: DUDE! CAKE! Haku: Hey! This is messing with my manicure!

Yue: wtf? Shikamaru: I dont know -several days pass in the Shikamaru worldShikamaru: Icant believe it. Im getting bored. -sigh- I need something to figure out KOOKOOKACHOO!! Shikamaru is back in the room. Shikamaru: Anyway, no. I wouldnt. Kiba: Hed just go emo Shikamaru: Right-eats cake*snaps fingers and kyuubi is a woman once again* marimari karikari... KANIKANI! Kyuubi: NO. Lucifel: -snicker- you know the rules Kyuubi Kyuubi: Screw the rules, I have POWER!! takes a tangible form of the rules and eats them- fuck that. Lucifel: -whimpersKyuubi: If you KNEW what I had to go through to get back into make form Zakura: do tell! Kyuubi: NO. Lee: -still leading the chant- YOUTH! YOUTH! YOUTH!! after it calms- Yes, yes my friends! I happy you all know and appreciate youth! ButI have no one else to tell of this, for you already know! You must continue to carry on the power of youth, but I need to be spreading youth where it is needed!!! KSSSSSSCH Lee is back in the room

Lee: Yes! My friends! I have seen paradise! And we will get there! One youthful step at a time! Kiba: this really messed Lee up but good. Haku: done! Look how pretty your nails are! Yue:that is kind of nice actually Haku: Heehee. ^_^ gomen gomen gomen gomen! sorry i haven't reviewed for such a long time... Kabuto you must kiss sakura and Sakura you must kiss kabuto back with lust... *throws pein and konan in* y'know who they are right? konan=blue haired shadow and pein=leader-sama Lucifel: Its cool! Youre reviewing now! Sakura: Oh come ON. Zakura: you better when he gets here. Kabuto: no! thatshorrible Orochimaru: You said she was cute Kabuto: Yeah butI dont wanna kiss her-blushing furiouslyOrochimaru: -tilts head curiously~ Kisame: oh, hey guys. Pein: wtf? How did you get him to Kisame: its all in what you use to dominate them Konan: Its too brightmy shadowy-ness is fading Kisame: yeah, yeah. Itachi: Oh KisameI need you

Kisame: You know, its actually better when theres a struggle. Thats what I need SHWAAAAA Kisame is back in the room Kisame: Itachi!!! pouncesItachi: Ack! runs awayKisame: rwar. Meanwhile,,, Pein: Were uh, still at the beach Konan: -hisssO.O sasori you killed your own son... how evil of you... oh yeah and behind the really giant book on the bookshelf... is some sakuita porn as well as kisdei porn... not to mention a bit of incest heh heh Sasori: Yes, Im evil. Get over it. ~ Deidara: Sasoriwhat do you think of my art, yeah? Sasori: Its the epitome of perfect art, outside of the bedroom. Deidara: well thats no fun! I want conflict! PEEEEWWWWW!!! Deidara is back in the room Deidara: SASORI!! tacklesSasori: Youre a fucking obnoxious freak. Deidara: yay. -they kiss a lotKisame: Me/Dei pron huh? Lemme see

Ita/Saku: ITA/SAKU PRON?!?!? NOES!!!!!! destroy the abomination~ Tsunade: And I won another bet! Fuck yeah! Jiraiya: Lets celebrate with some reckless drinking! We have no cares in the world!! Tsunade: -drinks massive amounts~ Yondaime: KushinadarlingI love you so much, and this life is so happy. But you know, dont you? Kushina: Of course. This was all over a long time ago. You need that closure for your life, ne? Yondaime: Youre truly a wonderful wifeexplain to Naruto if he comes back, all right? Kushina: Of course. KASHOOOO Yondaime is back in the room. Kyuubi: Sup? Yondaime: -furious blushing- nothing -thinks- godammit, I forgot about thatwtf is going on?Itachi: INCEST WHERE?!? Lucifel: and last but FUCKING HELL not least, is eight reviews from my amazing husband Emperor Jaden!! Since you requeted it love, then so I shall! I shall review every chapter, as requested, even if the messages are short. Lucifel: Because you ROCK!! Gaara: -while taking care of business as Kazekage with Lee next to him, kissing his cheek occasionally- sothat wasnt too hard. Lee: You are the best most youthful Kazekage ever.

Gaara: Thanksits weirdits almost too easyI feel off-kilter. Lee: what do you mean? Gaara: Well, I dont have to work for your attentionor for anyones respect or love everyones happyI have no conflict Lee: Gaara, youre saying a lot at once, are you sick? Gaara: no, but I just realized. Without struggleIm not even me anymore POP Gaara is back in the room Gaara: Well that was weird Lee: Darling! tackles- I found a perfect world full of wonderous youth! And some day, that world will be HERE and NOW!! But until then, you will help live the dream wont you? Gaara: sure honey *Cuddles his wife, licking her neck* Lucifel: -coosKimimaro: Kabuto, you love me dont you? Kabuto: Of course. Kimimaro: So, youre completely happy? Kabuto: Yes. kissKimimaro: But you arentI know thatIm not what makes you happy. And I cant live without truth FAPP Kimimaro is back. ~ Neji: being head of the family is boringI miss having a grudge.

Hisashi: What do you mean Neji-sama? Neji: As depressing as it isI think I need injustice to fuel my lifegive me a reason to seek revenge. WALLAWALLAWALLA Neji is back in the room. Itachi: Wanna do it? Neji: When do I NOT? *Floats about, adding another review* Tsunade: -totally smashed- whos next? Oh really? LOOK! I win again! I dont have worry! hicJiraiya: You ok honey? Tsunade: II dunno. With having all this luck and you being totally faithful its likeI need another drink. gulps- I have nothing to worry and about and take care oftell no one but..,I kinda need that. Or I get all depressed-like DADADAAAA!! Tsunade is back in the roomstill smashed. Sakura: Tsunade-sensei!! runs to aide her*Throws fraps and chocolate to everyone except Kabuto* Jiraiya: So, you guys, how about another round of inspiration? Orochimaru: Im game. Tsunade: Fuck yeah Jiraiya: thats just not right. Tsunade: Whats not? Jiraiya: you not hitting me for that! If youre violent and mean I have excuses for not getting serious with you! When Orochimarus all evil I can use that excuse for hating him instead of because I love himI mean damn I fucking need excuses to get by!

WTFOMGBQQ Jiraiya is back in the room. Jiraiya: Oh come on! I could have at least gotten a little more action first! Tsunade: Excuse me? Jiraiya: Nevermind *Waits for the interlude to pass* Choji: I know all this food is great in allbut I dont know if I deserve it. Shikamaru: What do you mean? Choji: Well, usually I eat a lot so I have energy for fighting, but if I wont need tothats bad. I dont deserve it. I need to have good reason, and earn what I get. If I didnt live like that Id wonder why I never got you Shikamaru: Oh Choji SHANANANAN Choji is back in the room. Choji: Hey Shika. Shikamaru: Yo. *Humming the Doom Song, by Gir* Sakura: any more tea, Ino-sama? Sasuke: Another massage Ino-sama? Or maybe I should kick Sakura? Sakura: Oh pleaseI would so deserve it Ino: Dammit! This isnt any fun! I know I always say I want to dominate Sakura but its not fun unless she hates it! I need to be winning something to enjoy the spoils, not riding a dead horse! ORLY?!!! Ino is back in the room.

Ino: Ok, well, I would have liked to keep Sasukegeez Itachi: DOOM SONG!!!! ~ Manda: all rightI need things to kill and eatits not fun when theres nothing left. SNAPKRACKLEPOP Mandas back, and slithers to a corner *Waves a Merry Chirstmas flag* Lucifel: Yes! Merry Christmas baby! AYOAYOAYOA!! Kabuto is back in the room. Sakura: wait a minutehow come? Kabuto: Iuhpushed a button? ~ Hinata: I miss my friends BOOM Hinata is back Zakura: Ok that was a gay, pussy reason. Lucifel: I couldnt think of anything! Sure me! Sakura: After all this I should have a right to Orochimaru: KABUTO!! Why did you come back?! Tell meeee?! Kabuto: no. Orochimaru: -poutsNaruto: So, whats up Sasuke.

Sasuke: not much, ready to train, buddy? Naruto: Yeah! -they do some sparring etcSasuke: Hey! Youre really challenging me! Naruto: what? Sasuke: I said this is really a challenge? Naruto: Ohthats not right. You need to put me donw, piss me offI always wanted your respect butits really the conflicts in my life that keeps me going Sasuke: Arent you happy though? To have a family? A best friend who hasnt deserted you? Naruto: Yeahbut what do my dreams and ambitions mean if I havent stuck to them even in hard times, huh? I really doI need that hardship, so I know when times are really great. GURGLEGOBBLE Naruto is back in the room *Another review! Yay!* Lucifel: AND the last for the day. Zakura: Wait a minutegodammit. I have to summon Kankuro back. Kankuro is pulled in kicking and screaming Kankuro: NO! NO! I LOVE IT THERE!! I DONT WANT TO COME BACK!!! Zakura: -sighs- ok, I guess you all are wondering what the fuck? Everyone: uhyeah. Zakura: Well, you were all so miserable here, we wanted to show your perfect worldso you would realize what REALLY makes you happy. Each of you SHOULD glares at Kankuro- have realized something in your lives you took for granted or hated, and how necessary it is for your happiness in your life here. So?

Everyone: -thinks or nods, and eventually everyone looks fairly impressedZakura: Basically, we wanted you all to kick back and have some fun in the rest of yor time here. Kankuro: Can I go back now? Zakura: No fuck you. Lucifel: Hope that went okI liked the idea a lot, I just hope I pulled it off. Also, this chapter is TWICE as long as normal, with extra plot etc, so being only two days late should be DAMN impressive. Dont worry about splitting your reviews a lot anymore, just two or three ways would be MORE than enough. I cant do another seventy-review chapter, hehe. Zakura: Anyway, I hope you guys fucking appreciate your time now. Go fuck off however you want. Kiba: Man, things are gonna be so much better now! Yue: Dog-boy. Youre mine. Kiba: ulp

Ask Sakura 54 4 Lucifel: Ok, seriously. I wasnt even gonna PRETEND like I could update on time during Finals. Heh. But this is later than I hopedsorry. But anyway, Im like, DYING of nerves after an audition so lets get this distractionI mean showon the road! Oh yeah! I still LOVE the split reviews, but I simply can pull off another stunt like last time. Ill be condensing. Ill still leave in a good chunk, but its just too rough. Thank you though! I still love you all for it!

Kabuto: Because -I- know why you came back, I forgive, you, and hold my oath fulfilled. You're no longer being tortured. Oh, and Sakura owes you a make-out session -and- a date. Everyone: Throws everyone random kickass stuff Attacks Jiraiya with a legion of rabid fangirls. He probably likes it, too Hyper Gaara is amusing...Gives Gaara a frap of pure caffine Gives Lucifiel -infinite power-! That overides even Kyuubi's. Also makes Kyuubi a bishie Turns everyone into cute lolita's. To see their reaction Puts a little "I love Incest" hat on Itachi Makes everyone look badass Puts a little shrine, that shows the badasses in the room, in a badass way. Just cause Kabuto: sheah---wha? Sakura: Its all lies! Dont listen to them! Zakura: Uh-huh. Get your tongue in the mans mouth. Sakura: B-but Zakura: -pushes her at him-they make out for the minimum required time and then Sakura jerks awayKabuto: Er-ah, we cant really go on a date while were here so. Zakura: Theres a ramen stand. Kabuto: -sighZabuza: -examining piles of kick-ass stuff- I already AM kick-assoooh but I like that vest. Haku: Meow, me too. Jiraiya: Come and get me girls!!!!! Orochimaru: -destroys fangirls- I saved you darling!

Jiraiya: why? Orochimaru: -smacks gently- Cuz youre MINE. kissJiraiya: ehehe, yes sir. Ino: SO basically youre giving him espresso? Gaara: No! ThisisFRAPPUCCINO!!!!!!!! downs the thingKimimaro: -slaps forheadLucifel: Yay! Kyuubi: Nope. Lucifel: Nope? Kyuubi: To give someone more power than someone else the giver must in turn have more power than them. And trust me, he doesnt. Lucifel: awwwwwwww. Kyuubi: -smirkGaara: I DO NOT WANT FRILLS!!!! starts violently ripping off the lace and bowsLee: Not youthful! Not youthful!!! Haku: yay! spins aroundKabuto: Oh come ON. Im trying to get this date over without hassle and now Im in a fucking dress? Sakura: eugh, this is WAY to tight Kabuto: -sneaks a glanceJiraiya: -sneaks a glanceKurenai: -SKILLET JAB!!!Jiraiya: Owwww. Itachi: -gasp- THIS IS THE BEST HAT EVAR!!

Kisame: damn, its just and Its just incest hatcalm down. Itachi: I had what was left of Gaaras frap.hehehehehehhehe. Kisame: oh, so youre energy is up then? Itachi: -blush- maybe? Yue: I am not amused by this nonsense Kiba: -hidesYue: I see you pup. Come out here. Kiba: Well, Im badass too now! So I stand a chance! Yue: You will notice my appearance has now reverted back to normal. Kiba: Yeeeah? Yue: Not changed in the slightest while everyone else is a;tered in some way to look moreroughyou might say. Kiba: Yeeees? Yue: Do you know what that means? Kiba: Nnnnnno? Yue: -staring him down- I was already too badass for you too handle. Kiba: -meepGaara: WOOT! I wanna climb on the shrine!! climbs and sits on roofShrine: -creaks under weight and collapses reverting everyone back to normalGaara: hahahahahah, lets do that again!! Kimimaro: you need to calm down, kiddo. Lee: No! For this is good! And youthful!!! Ceyx: Sakura hahahaha your parents are unimportant! Ash: Hahahaha you don't know who your dad is! Ceyx: Mom who's my father?

Ash: In the early chapters, Inner Sakura was all over Sasuke. Zakura how could you? You were my hero!! But now I don't have a hot kinky lesbian to idolize!! Anko: there's always me! Ceyx: Thank you god! I have a hot nympho in my room! Anko: Nahh I don't do fanboys. They tend to have small penises. Ash: So me and a couple friends were talking about Christmas specials in cartoons and wondered what The Uchihas would be like if they were jewish. Because of that I dare Kisame to circumsise Itachi! why didn't Akamaru have his own world? Doesn't every dog get his day? There is something I didn't get about Hinata's happy place. Why wasn't Naruto in it? NO THIS IS KILLING OFF ALL CHANCES OD NARUHINA. Sakura: H-hey! Youre a jerkwad! Kabuto: Just eat your ramen. Sakura: Im not hungry anymore. Kabuto: then you wannago for a walk or something? Sakura: Where? Kabuto: Er---A staircase appears in the wallKabuto: Upstairs? Sakura: Huh? looks over- Ohok Zakura: Ok, I addressed this earlier. When I was in Sakura I was merely an alteration of HER personality, now Im out Im much stronger in my own ways. When I go back my personal opinions will falter tooIF I go backmuwahahhahahaha. Sakura: Wait wha Kabuto: Lets go. Lucifel: Oh yeah, Ceyx, Emperor Jaden is your father. Orochimaru: OMG!! Its true! Fanboys ARE small! Tsunade: That boy just insulted his own junkdamn

Kiba: So, Yuewhat do Iuhdo? Yue: You must prove to me you have proper control over the cards, and that you can defeat me using their powers. Kiba: Ok Yue: But be warned, if they like me more, they will be MINE. fiery eyesKiba: -meepKisame: YES!! Itachi: Butwe ARE jewish. Orochimaru: You ARE? Itachi: Yeah. You didnt know? Orochimaru: So thats why Sasuke always wanted to burn down the Christmas tree Zakura: Akamaru didnt get his own world because Akamaru: arf, yap. Barkity bark. Im a dog. Im happy so long as I get food and belly rubs and exercise.Zakura: see? And as far as Hinata goes Hinata: Well, my ideal world is a place where I can totally relax. Im usually so on edge and stressed Zakura: Also, I was still in a little bit of control. winkSakura: Everyone can kill, most people can do it creatively. It takes some real power to heal. If there was one person you could heal which you previously couldn't -- who would it be? Of what affliction? Sakura: OhI dont knowprobably Sasuke during the Chuunin exams, that was so terrifying Kabuto: Damn these stairs are steep Sakura: Having trouble? Kabuto: No-grumble-

Ino: Where did they go? Hmmm-goes up stepsek! Haku how could you let Zabuza kill penguins?! oh, Yue sounds really cool. I should watch that show. Haku: they were a penguin ARMY. Penguins arent cute when theyre attacking! Zabuza: Besides, the sexiness of me cutting things up trumps cuteness any day. Haku: No it doesnt. Zabuza: -sighLucifel: You should! Its great! Yue: Ready pup? Kiba: sure? Yue: -creates several small crystals knives and shoots them at KibaKiba: WTF?!?!?!?! Happy Day of the Ninja, everybody! Yes, that's right! December 5th is YOUR holiday, since 2003, when it was created to combat Talk Like a Pirate Day. So enjoy yourselves! I give you all... squid. AHH SQUID! Marvelous squid. I mean, ten arms. TEN! Is there anything it can't do? Sorry, I ranted. I'm a ranter. Rantastic. Rantology... Drugs. I'm obviously on drugs, sorry. Shikamaru: What drugs am I on? Kisame: Do you smell like fish? Kyuubi: I dare you to say 'Moshi moshi'. Everybody: DAY OF THE NINJA!!!!!! Zakura: Oh too bad, its gone. Everybody: Awww Orochimaru: YAY!! TEN ARMS!! Lucifel: Darlin, if you think YOU rant you obviously havent paid much attention to the other reviewers.

Shikamaru: how should I know? Kiba: HOLY SHIT!! running away from Yue frantically- WIDNY!! Yue: Windy doesnt like you-sets windy back at himKiba: DAMMIT!! Ah! I Missed a Chapter! NOES! Kisame: I do n Itachi: Ooooh yeah. Like a nasty poon. Kurenai: ITACHI!! You cant say that! Itachi: you mean poon? Gaara: POOOOOOON!!! Kurenai: Stop it! Kisame: ouch, Ita Kyuubi: Wtf? No. Naruto: Cmon, its not even a big thing! Yondaime: its not like youre undermining your poweryou could never do that Naruto: Why did you say that like you mean it? Yondaime:ehahnothing Kyuubi: -raises eyebrow- fine. Moshi moshi. Now, Yon Yondaime: Eeepyes? Kyuubi: Cmere for a minute. Yondaime: heh Naruto: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Gaara: I know you have Lee and all, but how do you feel about GaaHina or GaaSaku, as a FANFICTION pairing. Not real life.

Hinata: You're always so quiet and in the background. For this chapter, or atleast this review, I'm placing this pretty collar thingy (that's unable to be removed manually, but has a timer) on you, so it automatically echoes your TRUE thoughts to the entire Room. Sakura: Me and my friends have been wondering this for a while... Why do you call Gaara ,"Gaara-kun", in the shippuuden episodes? Gaara: NONONNOONONONO!!! IT CAN NOT BE!!! Lee: YES! FOR IT IS YOU AND ME FOREVA!!! -they run around in hyper youthful circlesHinata: Whatno! echoed Hinata thoughts: Naruto-kun looks So. Hot. When laughs. Naruto: huweh? Hinata: -mortifiedSakura: Oh because hesummcutedid you just here Hinatas voice echoing through the walls too? Kabuto: At least its not-pant-just me-pant-how long are the damn steps?! Sakura: Damn, you need some endurance old man. Kabuto: -glaresIno: HI!! Whats up you two?! Sakura: -horrorKabuto: Oh, n-not much Ino Ino: Mind if I join you guys? Kabuto: Not really Sakura: -twitchIno: -clings to Kabutos armHaku: the nailpolish i gave you changes color with you mood and you never run out of it Orochimaru: a box of "toys" to use with Jiraiya

Zakura:an album of yuri that shows your deepest desires Undinedemon Haku: Of course it doesnt run outisnt it infinite? Zabuza: Theyre fangirls. Theyre not smart. Lucifel: Lies. These people rock. Haku: OOH! COLORS!!!! Orochimaru: Oh trust me, I already have PLENTY of toys Jiraiya: So, were standing out here not making out why? Orochimaru: -wiggles eyebrowsZakura: YES!! Kurenai: Dont you have ENOUGH yuri yet?! Zakura: Pssssh, NEVER. Kiba: DAMMIT! LOCK IS USELESS!! Yue: And that would be another reason why they dont like you. No card is useless. Hm -thinks-i wrote a yuri incest story that i thought was awful, but everyone likes it and want me to write more, but i can think of any more yuri incest pairings besides karin&yuzu and hinataxhanabi (which is next), any ideas? Zakura: Tema/Ten. Tema/Hina. Ten/InoMe/hina Hinata: I-Im not into yuri things! Hinatas thoughts: Even thought those girls are really pretty and kissable! Naruto: OO Zakura: -nosebleed- A-anywayjust be inventive, Im sure youll think of something. smileIno: So anyway, yaddayadd, blah blah blah -shes actually saying things, Im just lazy..-

-they pass a rom on the sideSakura: Rah! I cant take this! pulls Ino into the roomJiraiya: Are my lesbian moment senses tingling? Sakura: Ino!! Youre a bitch! Ino: W-what? Sakura: Youre always putting me down when you KNOW Im prettier than you! You always say Im useless when I do more for my friends that you EVER would. Because youre a manipulative, cruel, CUNT. Every time I find a man you want him just because I do! Im sick of it! SICK OF IT! Kabuto and I were going to hang out and talk and I want to forget, FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND, the situation Im in and enjoy myself. Do you think you can let me do that? Can you? If not Ill punch you down the fucking steps! Ino: Y-yeahok Jiraiya: Nope, false alarmdamn Ino: Ill just go now -leavesKabuto: Wtf? Sakura: Lets keep going, k? Kabuto: k Aw, everyone learned something... Itachi: So... If I give you the stacks of fraps you'll be my best friend? If the answer is yes, I'll give you the fraps! Yondi: ...It's okay, I guess you can't help it... But, I have a gift for you! -gives him the photo of his wife in beautiful framesHaku: Can you do my nails too? -puppy eyesWhoopsie. forgot to give Haku his boots -hands over Haku's boots- I guess it's useful to have chapters that I didn't review on! -huggles YondiKankuro: Fuck you! The only thng I learned is how much I want to have a different life! Gaara: oh, shut it. Kankuro: -pout-

Itachi: YES!!!!! Kisame: You know youll hate her. Itachi: Are you kidding me?! SO not!!! Yondaime: -while talking to and flirting with Kyuubi- Whats thisoh Kyuubi: just some ugly human woman. Yondaime: Nono shes the most beautiful woman ever. long sad moment- I dont what I was thinking -walks awayKyuubi: .was I just dumped for a picture? Kiba: AKAMARU!! ATTACK!! Akamaru: ARRROOOOO!!! CHAAAAARGE!!!Yue: Silly pup. knocks him aside into the wall where he crumplesKiba: AKAMARUUUU!!! NOOOO!! runs to himHaku: KYAAA! Of course! You gave me boots!!!! Zabuza: I liiiike those boots. growlsHaku: Teehee. Hinata: wow, those are nice, Echo thoughts: I bet I could seduce Naruto in those! Naruto: OO Aleara: -Smiles- Really? I guess I'll meet you when you get out! But first I have a question...Umm...-Holds up two glaring chibis with chicken ass hair, pouting, one with gold eyes the other with onyx.- Does anyone know how to turn Morana-sama and Sasuchan back to normal? Itachi: Incest. It fixes everything. Gaara: OR FRAPS!!! Lee: OR YOUTH!!

Yue: Now you will both fall. begins to charges a crazy blue-fire-arrow-thingKiba: NO! Dont hurt Akamaru too! He has nothing to do with this! Yue: Youre the one who involved him. shoots arrowKiba: -guards AkamaruAnd massive wings suddenly shield Kiba and Akamaru, absorbing the arrow-blast and fly card manifests. Yue: wtf? Fly card: I like this kid. Yue: Do you? Fly: Yes. And I was talking to the others. And we agree. The boy is loyal, strong-willed, and rather funny. Yue: -raises eyebrowsFly: So, whether he can beat you or not. We like him. From now on, well be Kards Yue: .you gotta be kidding me. -all the cards fly from Yues possession to Kiba, circle around him and he is possessing a new, bad-ass staff and the Clow bookKiba: What now BEOTCH?! Yue: whatever. vanishesKiba: Hey, thanks man. Fly: Just prove me right, master Kiba. -Fly sinks into the bookKiba: Kick ass, Shino: damn. Kiba: Youre impressed. Admit it. Shino: A little bit, yeah.

Kiba: -smoochesHT: your mean, oro. no brownies for you! amber: but you hate him. you wouldnt have given him brownies anyway. kata: omg! i want ht to draw you, zakura! but i cant see you, what do you look like. amber: ... does anyone want HTs legos? she'll probably give them to fox or something. Orochimaru: Awwww!! Pwease! puppy eyesJiraiya: ILL brownie you. Orochimaru: Ooooh. Zakura: Im a black-haired Sakura with black clothes and slightly bigger boobs, Im WAY sexier. Naruto: LEGOS!! Yondaime: -smiles gentlyLucifel: FANART!!!!!!! wow coolness! i have a question? how do you think youl feel when sasuke either comes back or you bring him back? Orochimaru: Horny. Zakura: Annoyed. Shikamaru: -twitchChoji: Pissed. Itachi: FUNKY!!! Ino: Hey guys Im back. Zakura: Howd it go? Ino: She gave me the bitching of my life. I cried a little. Zakura: Nice. -they high fiveIno: So can I go now?

Zakura: hahah. Yeah right, Ino: -sighsGlad to be of assistance... Shino - when's the wedding? Sakura/Naruto - what do you think Sasuke's perfect world would be? and why would he want to get out of it? Shika - Can you see a rainbow if your facing into the sun? Get it wrong and I WIN! He-Yan Lucifel: You can assist me any time!! Shino: ewwand I dont know. In summer sometime. Kiba: Fuck yeah! Naruto: ummprobably a place with his family alive againand hed want to get out so he could be all emo and get the ladies again. Kiba: Lol, true, Neji: Hey, Id still screw him if he was happy. Sakura: Hed probably want out toI dont know Kabuto: YES! The top! opens door and they are on a super-high balcony overlook a glorious starry-skied konohaSakura: Ohwowits beautiful. Kabuto: Yeahkinda chilly though. Sakura; uh, yeah Kabuto: -puts an arm around herOk! I DID THE FIRECRACKER! HAHAHA BOM! ...Raina is teh back! (raina) shut up (kicks ground) (me) omg emo alert! (Raina) life sux... (me) OK THEN! Now first order of business (hands out fraps to Gaara and Itachi)Where do I keep getting all these fraps?

(Raina) uh huh... so I bit some little kid yesterday and now he is in the hospital and had to get a tetanus shot. I feel bad, should I go and apologize? Deidara: YAY! Emo-girl! Yeah! Itachi: -rolls eyesGaraa: I dont knowAND I DONT CARE!!! sucks downNeji: Ill suck down on you Itachi: Yeah ya will!! Orochimaru: Nah, dont apologize Kurenai: Of COURSE you should!! Orochimaru: Naaaaaaw. Sakura: So, Kabuto Kabuto: Err, yes? Sakura: What do you really think of Ino? Kabuto: Shes a little sexy, but she just makes me nervous. Forward women scare me a little. Besides, Im not usually one for women. Sakura: Kabuto Kabuto: Yeah? Sakura: why did you come back? Sasuke: -walks in- Whats up people? Kabuto: you. Orochimaru: SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!! Sakura: Iwhat? Kabuto: I love you. Sakura: Sasukes here

Shikamaru: -stands up, walks over to Sasuke- I want a divorce. Lucifel: Quick chapter. And now the fun REALLY starts!! So, yeahsorry about this this is a HORRIBLY late update. But its here. And the next one will be Monday or Tuesday at the VERY latest. Thanks everyone! See you soon!

Ask Sakura 55 3 Sasuke: W-what?

Kabuto: What? Orochimaru: Whaaaaaat? Itachi: wtf? Naruto: WHAT?!?!?! Shikamaru: You heard me. I want a divorce. Sakura: I have to go see him-walks back down the stairsKabuto: -horror-struck into silenceSasuke: Shika, Shika, babe, darlingwhat? Shikamaru: I dont know how much clearer I can be. I. Am. Leaving. You. Choji: -silent yesSasuke: But you cantI meanwhy? Shikamaru: -bearing down on him- Oh, I dont know. Just spur of the moment really. Sasuke: Really? Shikamaru: -rolls eyes- Yes. Or maybe you could ask Neji, or Orochimaru, or YOUR BROTHER. Sasuke: Come on, Shi, what do they have to do with Shikamaru: You know damn well what youve done with those people! While I stayed loyal to you! While I gave up everything for you! Sasuke: Honey, you didnt. You still had your job, and your friends Shikamaru: So now youre gonna deny it? Of course. Of course you are. Youre such a damn good liar you even lie to yourself, isnt that how it is? Sasuke: No! No, darling Shikamaru: Stop with the pet names! How many times have you called NEJI darling? Neji: -slips into the shadowsSasuke: Never!!

Orochimaru: Yes, if I recall Neji was usually sugar or baby or bitch. Neji: -slides down the wall into a little ballShikamaru: Thank you, Orochimaru. Orochimaru: Oh, you know sometimes it was honey, or Candy cane that one was weird. Sasuke: ORO!!!!! Orochimaru: what?! Im just making some input! Ino: Now wait one second here, you two were MARRIED? Shikamaru: WERE, yes. Sasuke: -taking his hand- We ARE married. Shikamaru: -pulling away- Not for long, punk. Naruto: is that even LEGAL?! Tsunade: Yes. I did it. Naruto: that doesnt mean a damn thing when it comes to legality! Tsunade: Shut up Sasuke: ShikaShika, listen. They were mistakes. I regret every one of them. But I mean, Orochimaru expects it of his pupils. And Itachi raped me Itachi: LIAR!! That was only the first few times! Sasuke: Well, thats how it startedyou dont understand how that psychologically fucked me up. Shikamaru: And Neji? Sasuke: I just wanted someone to controlsince Oro and Itachi were always on top of me Shikamaru: What about ME? Sasuke: Well, you were never really

Shikamaru: Really, what? Sasuke: Well, you were never very INTO it. Shikamaru: Oh, I see. So this is all because I didnt give you enough sex? Well, sorry honey, but you cant put me in the little housewife position. Im not fucking blame myself! Sasuke: IIm not asking you to! I told you! They were mistakes and I regret them! Neji: -snifflesShikamaru: you regret them NOW. Now that Ive found out! If you had always thought that you would have come to me! And I would have FORGIVEN youbut not now. You can say nothing to make me forgive you. Im done. Takes a ring out of his pocket and throws it at Sasukes faceSasuke: wellwell FINE. You were a crappy husband anyway! You never cared! How was I supposed to feel with you being all apathetic all the time? Shikamaru: NO. I LOVED you. You knew that. I ALWAYS told you that. I let you stay with Orochimaru, and do all that fucked up shit. While I stayed home, and guarded all your little secrets. Do you know how hard it was to keep that from Naruto? My friends? I did it for you. Because I loved you. Sasuke: Bull shit! You did it because you didnt care either way! You never fucking care! About ANYTHING. Thats why its so damn hard to love you Shikamaru! Because youd rather fucking cloud-gaze all day than spend the night with me. Shikamaru: Thats because I dont need sex! I can have a healthy relationship without it! Unlike YOU. Thats all you care about! I dont get emotionally invested in things because I dont want to get hurt. But I trusted you. I put everything I had into you Orochimaru: Thats what she said. Shika/Sasu/Dei/Cho: SHUT UP ORO!!! Choji: (to Deidara) Why do you care? Deidara: Are you kidding? This is the best show YET. Popcorn? Choji: -shakes headShikamaru: -continuing- So, guess what happened Sasuke? Go on. Guess

Sasuke: Shika, why are you making me Shikamaru: GUESS. Sasuke: you got hurt Shikamaru: Yeah. I got hurt. So, be proud Sasuke, be very proud. Youre the last fucking person to ever hurt me. You taught brilliant Shikamaru one thing he still had to learn. Its. Not. Worth. It. You arent, and no one else is either. Im done. Fucking done. Sasuke: Shikamaru, listenyoure over-reacting and-Shikamaru: I SAIDIm done. walks awayChoji: -followsSasuke: uhwellI didnt Itachi: You know what would make you feel better Oto-kun? Sasuke: What? Itachi: INCEST!!!! Sasuke: You really have a one-track mind dont you? Itachi: Oh hell yeah. Sakura: -standing stunned on the bottom step of the stairwellZakura: Sooooafter that rather long preludeon with the show! Neji and Hinata; what do you think of NejixHanabi and HinataxHanabi pairings? Kisame you were so kawaii when you were little. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!?!?!?!? Sasori do you have an apprentice? Orochimaru do you intend to make your tongue an advanced bloodline? How does your toung fit in your mouth, even at normal length wouldn't it still fill your mouth and then you wouldn't be able to talk? Bye bye! Neji: Ewww. Hanabis too violentI mean, you know, for a girl. Hinata: -horrified- No!! thats incest!! Itachi: Its JUST incest!

Sasuke: you say that here? Itachi: Of course. cuddles SasukeKisame: I grew up. It happens to men. Little boys are just oh so cute (case in point, Sasuke). And old men just get ugly. I mean, not even like Jiraiya, Jiraiya: HEY!! Kisame: But even Itachi is honestly ugly. Itachi: WTF?!?! Kisame: Men just ARE. Girls were meant to be pretty. If youre a guy with a girlish face and figure good for you, but get naked and youre still an ugly man. Deidara: Thats so sadly true!! Sasori: Not me. I am perfection. Oh, and I taught Kankuro his stuff. Kankuro: Hell yeah! Sasori: Why are you still flesh anyway? Kankuro: Cuz I like flesh Sasori: Psssh, weak. Orochimaru: -trying to pull Sasuke out of Itachis arms- It goes back to completely normal size when inside my mouth. I mean, is it really that hard to believe? I pull out a SWORD too! Now give me the boy!!! Itachi: NEVAR!!! Sasuke: ... Jiraiya: Orowhat about me? Orochimaru: -zooms over and clings tightlySasuke: Oh ewww, old people sex! Orochimaru: Hey, you never complained before. Sasuke: You dont count.

Taki: O.M.G. Kari: *take's out a pair of indestructable handcuffs with no key and clips one on sasuke and one on herself* you'll never leave my sight again. and chidori doesn't work on it either. or mangkeyo(gah i spelled it wrong) sharingan *hugs sasuke so tightly he can't breathe* Sasuke: Wtf? Why do I have a handcuff on me? Zakura: the other half is on a fangirl somewhere Sasuke: Oh, haha, yeah. I was chillin with those girls earlier. Theyre all hilarious. Shino: You dont seam as broken up as Id think Sasuke? Sasuke: Hes the smart one. Hell come back to me eventually. He should consider himself lucky to have the most-wanted man in Naruto as his husband. Choji: -gets up to charge forwardShikamaru: -holds out a hand to stop him- Just leave him. He only wants a reactionand, leave me alone for a bit too Choji: Butbut Shika Shikamaru: Leave me ALONE. Choji: -scoots away a few feet*He cuddles his wife* Ah, so we -do- have childern. What fun. And don't worry, if you don't have 1,000 reviews by the time chapter 2 comes out, I'll make -sure- you do. Sasuke: YOU! *Evil, -insane- grin* First, you will live the torture of your family being slaughtered for -30- days, then you will have your hair burned off, then you will be dyed -compltely-black, oh, and I am going ot have -so- much fun with -you-. *Evil cackle of -doom-* Sakura: Sakura, Kabuto loves you, bloody fucking -ignore- Sasuke, he's a bloody prick. Either get with Kabuto, or -someone-that treats you -at least- like a human, or -so- help me...! PS *Throws Sasuke eating weasels in* Lucifel: yup, be proud, hes writing some great fanfics as we speak! In fact, quick plug GO READ ceyx0091s WORK PEOPLE!! ITS GREAT!! SUPPORT THE FAMILY OF LUCIFEL!! Oh, and thanks darling. winkSasuke: iI will? Orochimaru: We need a loophole! Shika help!

Shikamaru: -sarcastic laugh and ignoresOrochimaru: Kabuto? Kabuto: -standing behind Sakura- Ercant think of anything? Sasuke: Butbut Yondaime: Well, that was all said in future-tense right? So its not necessarily gonna happen NOW. Sasuke: YES!! Shikamaru: -grumbleOrochimaru: -hugglesSakura: II Kabuto: -walks past, ignoringSakura: -whimperSasuke: Say what? Deidara: We already have one of those with Itachi, yeah! Itachi: hey Kisame: LOL!! Sasuke: Little help?! Naruto: -knocks them out the window- Guess you owe me, huh? Sasuke: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Naruto: -grumbleAlrighty then here we go... since christmas is rollin around and i luv u guys...YOU EACH GET 1000$! BUY YOURSELF SOMETHIN NICE! (Kekaiyou) yo this is my first time here so my first question is...(drumroll) why is Kurenai addicted to chocolate? (me) ok now for 2 of my favorite characters! HERES UR FRAPS I LUVS U GUYS ^^! (Raina) i hate everyone including you (

(Kekaiyou) I like you >:) (me) but thats in a perverted way and i like u but not in that way. But because I like you, when I rule the world your death will be quick and painless. (Kekaiyou) um thnx? HOW DO I GET HER TO LIKE ME ONE OF U HAS GOTTA KNOW!? (me) And...can I come to the wedding? I promise to be a good girl :) (all 3) MANDA PWNS U RULE WE R STRTING A MANDA FANCLUB 4 U! (me) okie, i think he got the message! Kisame, you can breathe underwater and on land right? Kiba: You know, this would be really greatIF THERE WERE THINGS TO BUY AROUND HERE!!! Naruto: theres the ramen standONE THOUSAND DOLLARS OF RAMEN!!! HELL YEAH!! Kiba: Hey wait a minuteI could by like, a thousands rounds with Neji on this Neji: YOU COULD NOT!! Kiba: Ok, FINE. A hundred. Neji: My body is not for sale!! Kiba: Oh riiiight I forgot, you dont do it for the money. Unlike your mom. Neji: Fuck you. Kiba: Sasuke certainly did! Shikamaru: -twitchSasuke: -twitchNeji: -moaaaanShino: Knock it off, Kiba. Kiba: Yes love. kissSasuke: and I thought those girls were kidding when they said all this was going on please tell me Narutos still straight. Zakura: I think hes the only one Kurenai: Why? WHY?! WHY THE HELL NOT?! ITS CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!

Deidara: Well, at least youre easy to shop for, yeah. Kurenai: CHOCOLAAAAAAAATE!!! Gaara: FRAP!!!!! sugar crashes- eeeeuuughhmustdrinkfraps Lee: No, no, ODing on sugar is not youthful! Gaara: ButNeeeed Lee: I need you. Normal you. kissSasuke: How do you people not barf at your own fluffi-ness? Kyuubi: Thats what I always wonderedI figure Itachis incest fetish evens it out. Sasuke: Yeahhey, who the fuck are you? Kyuubi: Im Kyuubi, bitch. Sasuke: shit Deidara: Oh! Buy her presents, yeah! Orochimaru: Sex her up!! Sasori: two words: mind control. Tsunade: You CANT. youre fan-boy. You will not get a girlfriend. Live with it. Everyone: Oooo. Ouch. Kiba: I dont see why n Shino: No. This will be a fan-free wedding. Kiba: Well, now I guess I do, Manda: ummok? Whatever. Im going back to hibernating. Its cold in here. Theres a draft and its snowy outside. Haku: oh! I wanna play in the snow!! Zakura: Wellyou asked for it..

-the room is now filled with snowZakura: SNOW-BALL FIGHT!! -ALL OUT WAR ENSUESKisame: hehe, I can breath going down ANYWHERE. -SNOWBALL TO THE FACEKisame: -cough, blubrble, glug- Who threw that? Kyuubi: Me, bitch! What of it?! Haku: WAIT! I call no super-ninja-OR-demon-powers. We should all play this like regular people! Zakura: So it shall be done! Kyuubi: not me Zakura: do you REALLY wanna make Haku sad? Haku: -big puppy eyes- Pwease, Kyuubi? Kyuubi: -sigh- fine. Kisame: -chuck snowball at his head- HAH! GOTCHA BITCH!! Did you know 'frapper' is french for 'to strike' ... no wonder Itachi and Gaara like them heh XD The Almighty Kyuubi dumped... for a PIC-TU-ER Hows it feel to loose for the umpteenth time? Kards... because Kiba can't spell right? AND he has Akamaru as the sidekick and Shino can be damsel in distress... Sasuke...-twitches- God damn it! Buy some new hair you munchkin! Gaara: Oooh! Nice! gets pushed into a snow bank by NarutoNaruto: Come on, Mr. Kazekage! Whatcha got? Huh? Watcha got?! Gaara: -tackles into a sheet of iceKyuubi: Umpteenth? That makestwice? Wtf? Kisame: -plants another snowball in Kyuubis face-

Kyuubi: GODAMMIT!!! Kiba: Kards because Im awesome! Shino: And NO. Kiba: Oh, you know you wanna be my damsel. Shino: Watch it or Ill put you in distress. Naruto: -throws snowball at HinataHinata: He gave me attention-faintsYou just blew my MIND. And not in the way that Itachi would volunteer to blow my mind. Deidara and Sasori: You two were awfully quiet. Were you doing sexy-time? Kankuro: Have you ever heard the song 'Muffin Man' by Frank Zappa? (Throws Stitch into the room... because everybody loves a cute, blue, fluffy, four-armed engine of destruction who can lift 30 times his weight and probably beat up most kages. Lucifel: I know. I rock. Deidara: Hell yeah, ye -MOUTHFUL OF SNOWSasori: No. I was concentrating on puppet variations and Deidara was playing with clay. Deidara: -sliding snow kickSasori: OOMPH Kankuro: uh, duh! That song was practically MADE for me. Gaara: -sitting within a massive snow fort- Its true. Temari says it used to be played for him when he was little all the time. Lee! How goes the draw bridge? Lee: Almost done! Stitch: IKEBANA!! Kyuubi: Who the fuck? Stitch: MEEGA CHOOPA!! Kyuubi: What is your problem, freak-face?

Stitch: Nala kilala!! Kyuubi: -picks up by scruff- Ok, away you go Stitch: NAGA!! flips Kyuubi over shoulder- Meega stay. Kiba: Did he just Naruto: flip Kyuubi? Stitch: Heh. smileKyuubi: All right you little Stitch: -jumps on head and knocks him down again, pinning him- Ehehehhe, what now, nala crista? Kyuubi: -tries to get upfailsDeidara: You can do it Kyuubi! Forget hakus rules! Go full-power!! Kyuubi: IGRAH!!...am!! Stitch: EEEHEHEHEHHE!!! picks Kyuubi up, throws him through the snow-fort wallsGaara: Hey, bitch! Stitch: Mega nala keba!! -jumps after Kyuubi, grabbing him as he starts to stand and throwing him back in the other directionKyuubi: -shakily gets to his knees, Stitch drop kicks him and he collapsesStitch: Ehehe, bye!! runs offNaruto: holy Kiba: shit Naruto: FREE HITS ON KYUUBI!! Everyone: -pelts Kyuubi with snowballs(throws in Ask a ninja-ninja) Happy soon to be christmas everyone! (throws in loads of presents and fraps)

Naruto: Ninjas arent fat! Ask a Ninja Ninja: This is a ninja deception technique, kidyou wouldnt know. Youre wearing ORANGE. Choji: Hey wait a minute Ask ninja: Anyway, I have many questions to answer, and since you kids obviously know nothing about ninja I should start right awayeverything about ninjas is secret!! dashes awayEveryone: wtf? Sasuke: Does this stuff happen all time? Everyone: Oh yeah. Everyone: PRESENTS!! Haku: break for presents everyone! Sasuke: How long you gonna stand there, Sakura! Come on! Ino: Sasuke! What about me? Sasuke: Whatever Sakura: Sasukenoticed Naruto: Isnt he acting kind of weird? Sakura: He noticed me-follows all giddyKabuto: -watches sadlyKimimaro: Sup? Kabuto: I think Im one inch away from a mental break down Kimimaro: Cmon. Lets talk. takes him to the snow fortZakura: Oioioi!! Did you get Ino in here just to get a you-like reaction out of Sakura? Explain! Shika: You can't see a rainbow unless the sun is behind you, we had to do weeks of that crap at school. Lucifel: Are you going to do another x-mas special? Or mebbe even a new year one..

Good luck with your finals though, I'm sure you'll get uberly awesome marks. -Throws in roulette wheel of costumes- Spin the wheel and get the outfit you land on. There's unlimited spins so have fun! Lucifel: First off, thankies for the wishes about finals. Luv ya. And I did do pretty damn well. Zakura: Ye-no-mayJUST READ THE DAMN STORY!! Ino: Oi, Z, you said if I made Sakura stick up for herself I could have Sasuke, hes busy cuddling it up with those freaks! Zakura: I said you could have himand then under my breath I added if you can get him now fuck off bitch. Ino: I hate you Shikamaru; Well, whoop de fucking do. Haku: -gasp- COSTUME WHEEL!! Everyone spin and then well continue the snowball fight! -everyone is soon in some sort of ridiculous costumeNaruto: -in lederhosen- Im r-reallyc-c-c-cold Haku: lol!! You could always re-spin! Naruto: And end up in the bunny costume? Lee: I AM A RABBIT OF YOUTH!!!! Naruto: no thanks Kiba: Dammit! No matter how many times I spin I keep getting the damn FAIRY COSTUME!! Sasuke: Because apparently you ARE a fairy. O MY GOSH! I was at the mall and I saw a guy who actual wore chicken butt hair -- now they are everywhere! Sasuke how do you feel about starting a fashion trend? Sasuke: Pretty much the same. I always was number one at everything. Ino: Teeheehee, yeeeah

Sasuke: Dont you agree, Sakura? Sakura: You wantmyopinion? Kabuto: grr Kimimaro: Dont look at them. Talk to me.. Kabuto: WellItold her I loved her. Kimimaro: And? Kabuto: she ran downstairs to see Sasuke. Kimimaro: Ohouch Kabuto: Yeah -long pauseKimimaro: I really have no advice to give. Kabuto: I know Kimimaro: But I have been told Im rather huggable. Kabuto: -hugsKabuto - If there was one thing you could have at this moment, what would it be? Kabuto: You have to ASK?! Kimimaro: Excuse uswe were having a MOMENT! -moves camera awayYes we have a camera nowshut up! Dude... Sasuke, what's up? Sasuke: Not much. Just chillin with the ladiesand Neji. Neji: Im all the way over here!! Kiba: But you know Neji: You know nothing! From now on I am a whore no more!!

Everyone: WHAT?!?!?!? Neji: I mean, look what I did to Shikamaru! How many other people have inadvertently hurt? And I KNEW that was probably happening. Itachi: butwhat about people like me and Oro, were whores too! You can bang us! Neji: Nono Im done crying out for attention! Im done dis-respecting myself and everyone! I am going clean! From now on, I will be committed to one person only!! Naruto: whos that? Neji: I dontwell, I find one!! Lee: I applaud you Neji! How about TenTen? Neji: Who? ..SASU-CAN?! What. The. Hell. You're supposed to be helping me study for midterms! And making my coffee! ...Did I do something wrong? Have I neglected you? Oh my god! If it was the Kyuubi thing...I'm so sorry! I never meant for you to feel unloved! Oh, but I still love you too Kyuu-chan! (oh, and Itachi-san too I guess...) Um, shit... I didn't want to ask this in front of Sasuke but... What do you do when you're torn between two mu- er..."friends"? Sincerely (and slightly Nervous), Kryah Sasuke: Naw, its cool. I just needed to drop by on my favorite people. winks at SakuraSakura: Hragm? Kyuubi: -getting up slowly- Oh, my head Naruto: YOU GOT PWNED BY STITCH!! Kyuubi: -lobs ice-ball at his HEADKurenai: Well, a real friend wouldnt MAKE you choose. You should be able to love both equal Deidara: HAVE THEM FIGHT TO THE DEATH, YEAH!!!!

Zabu/Kisa/Oro: HELL YEAH!! HT: i still dont like you oro- SASUKE!?!?!?!?!?!? -faintsamber: but i wasnt suprised about what kabuto said. it was OBVIOUS. if you were trying to hide it, do a better job next time. kata: itachi, do you want amber's scythe? its shiny and controls electricity. HT: -is back- shikamaru! how could you want a divorce with SASUKE!!?!??!? HES THE BEST! kata: -gives naruto legos- poni, why didnt you give them to fox? Kabuto: wellshut up!! Kimimaro: Come on, lets get some bitchess faces covered in SNOW!! Kabuto: Sounds good. Sasuke: Sup girls. Naruto: LEGOS!!! starts a fortLee: Were playing with snow! You must make a snow-fort! Naruto: Lee, have you EVER seen ANYTHING more youthful than legos?! Lee: you make a good point my friend!! Gaara: -sighItachi: why not! takes scythe and starts swinging wildlyShikamaru: -raises eyebrow- Suuure. Sasuke: Yes, well, I AM the best. Its good point. sideways glance at ShikaShikamaru: -ignoresGood boy Kabuto-kun!! You finally admitted your feelings! -Gives Oro a Hiei plushie.So...Have you ever thought of getting your tongue peirced? I mean all sexes dig it! .- Oh yeah! Chimey says she's in your debt Sasori! You killed the creepy child! but what did you do to the body? Well, gotta fly! Need to go straighten up for Zakura-sama... Kabuto: -after nailing Kankuro in the head with a snowball- Dont you good boy me!! Orochimaru: -makes a fort with Manda- AHAHAHHA!! I ARE INVINCIBLE!! THIS IS THE SANIN KINGDOM!! Come on Tsu!!

Tsunade: You want me to team up with you sex-addicts? Jira/Oro: HELLZ YEAH!! Tsunade: well ok Orochimaru: YAY! HIEI! He can be our mascot! Hiei: ACHOO!! Oh manthat doesnt bode wellat all Orochimaru: Ooooh!!! I should!! Tsunade: If you dont get to the front and start throwing snowballs Ill pierce it for you! Orochimaru: coming!! skips upSasori: Im preparing it for turning into a puppet as we speak. smirk- Deidara! Stop blowing up the snow fort! Youre ruining the whole point!! Deidara: I am not, yeah! It keeps pelting the enemy with ice blocks! YEAH!! Sasori: And us! Deidara: But were super strong, yeah!! Sasori: -sighZakura: Lookin forward to it babe. W00T! You tell that biotch Shikamaru! Did anyone in the room know that they were married? Sasuke have you ever regretted sleeping with anyone? Is there anyone that you wouldn't sleep with? Kurenai how do I get over a crush on my teacher? Choji: I knew-sighTsunade: I DID it. I hope I knew. Pretty sure no one else knew. Orochimaru: Well, I did wonder where Sasuke went sometimesand then when I found Shika in his room once Kabuto: and you never suspected anything? Orochimaru: nope!

Kabuto: -throws snowball to the faceSasuke: No. Not really. I make good choices with who I bed. glances at ShikaShikamaru: -ignores stillSasuke: And yes, Id NEVER fuck Choji-shudders- I mean, who WOULD? Choji: -fumesShikamaru: Hes not worth it Choji Choji: Arent I?? Shikamaru: Just calm down Kurenai; youah Orochimaru: DONT!!!! JUST SCREW HIM!! Lucifel: hes MARRIED. Orochimaru: So? Ive apparently done a married guy. Lol. Kiba: Does anyone else find it funny that even though Sakura was supposed to run this thing Kurenai ends up dishing out all the advice? Shino: Word. Sakura: Who would you rather have SasGay or Kabuto? Ino:...Stop crying,you desurvie it. SasGay:Who would you rather date Naruto or Gaara? Sakura: Eh? Wha? Zakura: oh my god you little bitch Sakura: -garbleIno: Spell deserve right first, bitch. Sasuke: Gaara, no question about it. Lee: HE IS MINE!! pelts with snow ballsNaruto: doesnt that come off as a little overprotective, Gaa?

Gaara: Nah. Its cute. Lol. Naruto: oook Kurenai: Why the hell does Kishimoto hate you so much? So far, all you can do is be a smexy slut and make someone believe they are being captured by a tree. Are you really a genjutsu expert? Sakura: If pink isn't your natural hair color, what is your natural hair color? By the way, you got to prove it's your natural hair color, and there's only one way to do that :D Sasuke: If you really wanna kill Itachi, why don't you just put acid in his nail polish and shampoo? Deidara: Who has perkier breasts, you or Ino? Kurenai: yes! Of courseIam-sniffle- I REALLY DO HAVE SKILLZ!!! I DO!!! sobsHinata: K-kurenai Sensei!! Tsunade: Get er while shes down boys!! -the sannin pelt them with snowballsSakura: We already went over that! It is natural! Deidara: Eww, yeahin the shower Choji: And why wouldnt it be? Our moms hair is after all Itachi: Oh EWW I forgot you two were half-related Choji: Shudup. Ino: That would explain the pudge Sakura: FUCK YOU!! Sasuke: Oooh, yummy. And honestly I know killing Itachi will do no good. Screwing him is better anyway. Itachi: hell yeah! Sasuke: Besides, hes a cosmetics GENIUS hed know in a heart beat if something was wrong.

Deidara: thats a stupid questionIno of course. I dont have breastbut if I did theyd be awesome YEAH!! puffs chestTsunade: EASY TARGET!! ATTACK! ATTACK!! ATTACK!!!!!!!! -there is a massive snow war at the end of which only the Sannin stand victorious.Tsunade: WE WON!! FUCK YEAH!! Orochimaru: YAAAAY!! Jiraiya: WOOOOOT!!! -group sannin hugLucifel: Thats it for now. Im surprised so few people asked Sasuke a questionwow. Anywho, two more and then were done. Wow. Bye all! Love ya!

VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!! Ok, Im running a contest of bests. Here Im putting up a list of the bests and their nominees!! EVERYONE should vote on each category. Just say your number of choice and what category with a review for this chapter, k? There might be prizes involved, I dont know yet. Mostly this is just for kicks to celebrate ONE WHOLE YEAR of AskSakura. Here they are:

Best Running Gag 1 Skillet 2 Incest 3 Neji is a Whore 4 Kiba Kards/Pokemon Mastery 5 Frappuccinos 6 Kabutos a nerd Best Unexpected Romance (one sided or otherwise, the romances that made you go huh, really?): 1 Kimi/Kabu 2 Saku/Kabu 3 Shika/Sasu 4 Kyuu/and the Uzumakis Best Plausible Romance (as in, when you watch the show you can see with just a little bit of or no squinting): 1 Gaa/Lee 2 Kiba/Shino 3 Haku/Zabuza 4 Jira/Oro Best Guest Character (anyone that was thrown in, hung out for a while and was gone by the end): 1 Ed 2 Ayame 3 Anko 4 The Star Wars Cast Best Theme: 1 D&D 2 Rescue Party 3 School Days 4 Masquerade 5 Tournament 6 Pirates Best awww Moments: 1 Tickle Orgy 2 Kimi/Gaa friendship (Kimis admittance of love for Kabu) 3 Haku/Zabu Wedding 4 Kibas Wedding Speech 5 Hinata and Hakunuff said Best Dramatic Moment: 1 Saku/Kabu Pool Scene

2 Kimis Second Death 3 Jira/Oro get-together. 4 Shikas Divorce Statement (the whole beginning of last chap) Also, if you have any personal favorite moments, or any fun Ask Sakura moments to share (you know, any memories about it that stand out) please do share them! If youve been around since the beginning, share your story of how youve changed and your view of the story has changed during your time reading it. If I get a lot of Ask Memories Ill make a special devoted to them, lol. So, anyway, PLEASE vote! This is another great way to add up the review count!! Also, I wish I could tell you which chapters these are from but if you wanna look em over youll have to find em yourselvesheh. Thank you! Love yall!! See you Monday for the last review-able chapter!!

Ask Sakura 56 2 Lucifel: Oh my god you guysyou did it. One Thousand Reviews. gets teary eyed- I love you all SO much. The official one-thousandth review was Undine Souls voting review, but I would like to give the honorary credit to the people who spent good hours boosting the review count just to make me feel a little more accomplished. These

beautiful people are; Emperor Jaden, Ceyx0991, MoonIdiot, Darkens4841, Kohaku Kawa, He-Yan and the many people who split their reviews even a little bit for me. Thank you all so much. This means so much to me. Anyways. On with the chapter, eh? The snow is gone and everyone is wrapped in blankets, slowly dripping dry, cradling hot cocoa that has magically appeared for cuteness factor. The Sannin, as spoils of their victory have claimed the warmest spots by a big brick fireplace, and sit wrapped in one big fluffy blanket, with Tsunade in the middle. Besides that the usual couples have formed, except Neji is hanging out with Kiba and Shino, and Naruto is asleep in his dads lap. Sasuke is being fawned over by Ino, Itachi, Deidara, Kisame and Sakura sits by shyly. Kimimaro is still comforting Kabuto who often sends a glare Sasukes way. Tsunade: When you change out of your twenty year old Henge form, do your breasts get all wrinkly and deflate xD Choji: Another awesome person. For your present, I give you an entire kitchen equipped with every possible utensil and a "500 ways to cook Kisame." Cookbook Hinata: Your too shy, you need to get more action -Bites Hinata's, leaving a large heart mark on her neck.- That's my Curse of the Sexy Beast. Now, anytime someone asks you for the smex, you can't refuse. Ever. Tsunade: Fucker. If I wasnt so toasty right now Id come kick your ass. Orochimaru: Hee. snugglesJiraiya: Sodo they? Tsunade: -punches- What do you think?? Yondaime: Wellsince thats when all her illusions break wouldnt her boobs get really small? Tsunade: Youre lucky youve got your son in your lap Yondaime: What? Well, dont they? Tsunade: -death glareOrochimaru; You know, small boobs arent bad. If theyre nice and perky then they can be even better! Jiraiya: I don Orochimaru: -reaches behind Tsunade and PINCHES-

Jiraiya: A-ah, dont think thats such a bad ideaheheh Tsunade: -rolls eyes and snuggles deeper into the blanketChoji: Oh wow! Awesome! I hardly ever get stuff! Shikamaru: Youre just lucky you havent been here long Choji: well why the fuck would I could Kisame?! Kisame: Im the tastiest mother fucker out here!! You little punk Deidara: -bitesKisame: WTF?! Deidara: Mmmm, hes right, yeah. Like tuna. Kisame: I do not taste like tuna! Deidara: Yes you do, yeah! Itachi: -snicker, snickerHinata: eepbutbut Kurenai: And WILL anyone ask for sex?! raging fire eyesEveryone: no Kurenai: Good. Zakura: -whimper, whine*Having reverted to his -totally- evil form to torture Sasuke, he has a hot, passionate sex session with Lucifiel. Lasts 10 hours* Sasuke: Your torture begins..now. *Does all the things he promised he'd do, and also turns him into a girl. Then cackles evilly, in a way that even some of the more evil people in there will find evil* Shika: Damn -right- dump his ass...And set him on fire! And strangle him! MAKE HIS LIFE HELL! Lee: I dare you to be evilly youthful for 10 seconds. Just like me. *Evil youth laugh* P.S. *Throws the Aliens from the soon coming Alien vs. Predator in, after programming them to rape Sasuke*

-ten marvelous hours laterLucifel: hehehe-smileSakura: No! Sasuke: Fuck right no!! hides behind ItachiZakura: No? Sakura: Im putting my foot down as the main character here. Its not right to do that to Sasuke! Zakura: And why the fuck not? You let all that other shit happen to Kabuto, Sakura: That wasnt nearly as bad! Zakura: Still, why do you care now? Sakura: He doesnt deserve it! Zakura: And why not? Because he just got dumped? snortSakura: I still say no. His mind is fucked up enough without all that shit re-surfacing Zakura: I say its up to Shikamaru. Sakura: ok. Thats fair. Shikamaru: What? Oh-loooooong sigh- Sakuras right. He doesnt deserve it. Zakura: -jaw drops- What the FUCK shika? Shikamaru: -shrugs- Its bad karma. Zakura: Fine. He wont have to relive his families massacre or be disfiguredbut he is turning into a girl. Sasuke: What? NOOO!! Itachi: NOOOO!!!! Shikamaru: uhthanks? And no, I dont feel like it. Choji: Then can I?

Shikamaru: No. Choji: shit. Sasuke: Dammitthis sucks.-sulksKabuto: You SEE?! Hes an emo prick!! Kimimaro: -pat, patItachi: But its so CUTE when he sulks!! Ino: Yeeeah Sakura: -blushItachi: -kissesSasuke: -kisses backSakura: -twitchNaruto: ACK!! WHY?!?! Yondaime: Well you woke up fast Naruto: Like I could sleep with sick shit like THAT going on?! Itachi: now, nowits Sasuke: --just incest. Itachi: youre so awesome. Even with boobs. Sasuke: I only said it to mock you. Itachi: Of COURSE you did. pounces and makes out withJiraiya: -twitch- Oh godI cant look away Orochimaru: Ah! See! He has perky boobs! Tsunade: One more reason NOT to want them. Lee: How can youth be evil! Thatthat-hyperventilates-

Gaara: Oh thanks a lotyou broke him Lee: -lies twitching on the ground- It is impossible!! Gaara: yes, yesshhhtheres no such thing as evil youth Zakura: Before you can say a damn thing Sakura-teme, the aliens are coming. Kyuubi: -jumps upNaruto: HA! Youre scared of aliens now! Kyuubi: I am not! Aliens: ROAR!! rush for SasukeKyuubi: -jumps among them and starts tearing them apart violently-after many bloody minutesKyuubi: I just wanted a chance to re-boost my ego. wipes aliens guts of his face and flicks at NarutoYondaime: -cleans faceZakura: damn you Kyuubi!! Kyuubi: and oh yeah, annoy the fuck out of Zakura Ceyx: sorry for reviewing last chapter. I think I was a little annoyed that you didn't post my review or something. Oops? I'm personally glad that Konoha allows gay marriage. I find it ridiculous that these days gay people are treated like second class citizens. I should know. I'm a second class petty officer and everyone treats me like crap. Ash: I will give Kankuro a ton of muffins if someone doesn't seriously kick Sasuke's ass. Ceyx: So Jiraiya, how does it feel to be dead. Ash: Wait Neji isn't gonna be a whore anymore? He looks enough like a girl that I'd be willing to do him. Darn. Since I think that Zakura hasn't gotten laid in a while, I'm throuwing in one of the few lesbians! *boots Temari into there* Ceyx: Why are there no black ninjas? Everyone thinks Shino's black because of the afro but he seems like he's not... Lucifel: Not put up your review? Thats not possible. I ALWAYS do. You must have missed it. And yeah, gay marriage is the awesome! Itachi: Ahhhrefreshing

Sasuke: -blushing, wipes mouthIno: Huh? What happened? I was distracted by Alien-crunching Sakura: me too Itachi: Oh nothingjust Sakura: Stop right there! I dont want to hear it! Ino: you knoweven as a girl youre really cute Sasukedid I ever tell you I was bi? Sasuke: Nice. smirkChoji: You see, Shikamaru! Its for the greater good! Shikamaru: Chojidonthe just wants the attention. Choji: But what about the muffins? Kankuro: -is is position to pounce should they appearShikamaru: I have this just in case of such an emergency. hands bottle of chocolate sauce- You know what to do. -As the muffins drop in Choji splashes all of them with chocolate sauce, making Kurenai and Kankuro meet over them and partake in a fight to the death!!!!!!!!Hinata: WAAAA!! Kurenai-sensei!!! Zakura: Itll be ok Hinata-puts arm around her shouldersHinata: -leans in closeZakura: -thinks- SCORE!!!! Jiraiya: IM DEAD?!? WHEN DO I DIE?!?! I MUST KNOW!! Tsunade: what? Orochimaru: Well, supposedly I die too Tsunade: What? Thats so not cool! I am not ok with this! Jiraiya: YOURE not ok?! Im gonna DIE!!

Yondaime: Guys, relax, Im sure theyre just scaring you. Jiraiya: -whimperOrochimaru: Well, we had better enjoy what we have while we can. Jiraiya: Hell yeah! goes for the boobsTsunade: -COCKBLOCK- Nice try. Jiraiya: Awww Kiba: I know, right? Itll be so WEIRD!! Neji: Oh screw you. Kiba: I thought you werent doing that anymore? Neji:why do I put up with you? Kiba: -shrugs and goes to play with AkamaruShino: You dont have to, you know. Neji: Yeah I do. Hes one of the only people Im genuinely friends witheveryone else nwas fuck-buddiesIve always valued Kiba for that. Shino: really? Neji: Yeah. I mean, he drives me fucking insane butI really appreciate his friendship. It means a lot. Shino: Holy shit. I never would have guessed. Neji: I figure he doesnt like me much but Shino: No. He does. When he doesnt like someone he either ignores them or punches them. Its the people that mean the most to him that he makes fun of. He doesnt realize it himself butits true. Neji: Ohwow Temari: Oh come ON. It was just getting good! Gaara: Heh, what?

Temari: THE SEX!!!! Gaara: oh. Temari: Wait, what is Kankuro doing? Gaara: Fighting to the death over muffins. Temari: Again? sighs and walks over to Kankuro, and reaches forward and starts rubbing behind his earsKankuro: -instantly calms down and leans against her lovinglyTemari: So did you forget this trick? Gaara: Wellyeah Temari: -sighs- How many times have I shown you? Gaara: I know, ok! I never really cared Temari: -sighs- you gonna be good now, Kankuro? Kankuro: Ehhyesh Temari: Good boy. Now, Tentens waiting-walks offZakura: Hey! That was my ride! Deidara: hah! I get it, yeah! Sasori: -pat patYondaime: Well, when the original culture is entirely asian it stands that usually black children dont spring up miraculously Naruto: But why werent there any to begin with? Yondaime: -shrugs- Cuz were asian. Kiba: NINJANESE!!! Neji, don't give up your whoring ways! It's what makes you...you at least in this fic) Question for everybody: Has anyone seen the disgusting video on the internet that

involve two girls and a cup? Apparently its so disgusting that even the sickest, most insane people get irked by it. Neji: WellI guess Im just gonna have to re-make myself. Hinata: -watching merrily as Kurenai devours muffins- Well I-Im proud of you Neji. Neji: -beamsOrochimaru: OMG TWO GIRLS AND CUP HELL YEAH!! Sasori: Yeah thats actually part of initiation into akatsuki. You have to watch that and not get nauseas Kisame: I PWNED it. Itachi: How so? Kisame: I was fucking AROUSED. Itachi: ewwww Kisame: hehe. Hell yeah. Deidara: I thought it was hilarious, yeah. Jiraiya: What Tsuande: Shh, you dont wanna know. Temari: -pokes head back in- and oh yeah, some raging fangirls declaring give us back Sasukes package gave me this. hands Itachi brown potion and leaves againSasuke: YES! What is it? Itachi: A potion of gender changing.now we can both be girls! puts potion to mouthSasuke: NOO!!! Itachi: I was kiddinghere. givesSasuke: -downs and is again a man- So anyway Inobeing and bi and allever try going both ways at once? Ino: Ha? Wellsure

Sasuke: Sakura? Sakura: Erwhat? Sasuke: What do you girls say? You two, me and one bed? Ino: Hell yeah!! Sakura: no! Kabuto: -perks upSasuke: Now I understand you dont want to share but Sakura: Nonot thats not it at allyouyoure just doing this to get attention from Shikamaru! Sasuke: The fuck I am. Im a free man now and enjoying it. Sakura: Thats almost WORSE. I meanwhat kind of sick fuck Sasuke: Sakura, Sakura baby Sakura: Baby?! What the FUCK Sasuke. You think calling me some generic pet name will bring me back. FUCK YOU, you never for one second gave a shit about me when I ACTUALLY cared. And you know what, even if it wasnt romantically I at least always respected you and cared about you as a FRIEND. But nownow I see how slimy and conceited and manipulative you really areyou really were. All along. Sasuke: Sakurayoure just seeing things badlyits not what it seems. Sakura: then what is it? Sasuke: -silenceSakura: Figures. Sasuke: Well, come on. After all the time we speant together? After how close we all were? You loved me, didnt you? Are you just gonna throw that away? Sakura: Nono Im going to very carefully BURY IT. I was crazy to think you were the one. I was fucking BLIND. Forget you. I dont need to be taken for granted and manipulated. Not when theres something so much better for me-turns suddenly to KabutoKabuto: -stunned into silence-

Sakura: Do you still mean what you said? Even after I was an idiot and a bitch and so.so stupid and cruel to you? Kabuto: always Sakura: Then-looks around nervously- Fuck it. I love you Kabuto!! Kabuto: -blankSakura: OhOh Ive totally fucked up havent I Kabuto: -gathers her into his arms, and kisses her deeply, lovingly.Orochimaru: KYAAAAA!!!!!! Tsunade: -flinches at Oro yelling in her earHina/Haku: -crying happilySasuke: -stunned and horrified-Kabuto spins Sakura around, hes smiling like an idiot, shes practically in hysterics of happinessTsunade: for serious? Jiraiya: No fucking way. Naruto: Oo Ino: YAY!!! Sasukes mine! Sakura: -as Kabuto puts her down gently- KabutoII meanIm so.just Kabuto: Shut up and kiss me again -They kiss againEveryone: -APPLAUSEWTF?!?!!? SASUKE?!?!?! SHIKAMARU!?!?! DIVORCE!?!?! I'm high on something.. -glomps sasuke- OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! -smooches- I couldn't care LESS of what you think! HOW DID IT FEEL WHEN ITACHI FUCKED YOU!? Haku: I'm glad you liked the boots ^^ -hugs-

Sasuke: Er, yes, yes its all very intense and dramatic. winces through hugItachi: Oooh, I wanna hear this. Sasuke: Obviously, fucking amazing. Shikamaru: -is busy applauding lightly along with everyone elseItachi: yay! Jiraiya: -disgustHaku: Of course! Theyre awesome! Zabuza: -purr- and sexy, -completely shocked- Sasuke...You... -slaps- MAN WHORE! BITCH! WOMANIZER! TOTALLY HOT AND SEXY BEAST With wonderful hair... -swoons and hugs Sasuke's legs- I still hate you, you know... -kisses feetSakura: WAKE UP, IDIOT! Go to Kabuto! Forget Sasuke! -pushes Sasuke away into the snow/corner and follows- Sasuke is not the one for you! Itachi: Are you going to sex Sasuke now? If you will, can I join?? -once again, a giant group hug- I LUV U ALL! Merry christmas!! -throws in a big box covered in shiny read wrapper- you'll get any present from this box, just tell it to the box. See ya! Itachi: Well at least the fangirls still adore you right? Sasuke: Yeahumm, can you excuse me for a minute? Ita/Ino: but whyyyy? Sasuke: -sighs and gets up and walks over to NarutoNaruto: Huh? Sasuke: can Italk to you? Naruto: Umm Yondaime: -gives a you better lookNaruto: sure Sasuke: -goes to the pool room-

Sakura: Im awake already-looks at Kabuto dreamilyKiba: So, what happens when we leave? -record scratching to a stopKiba: Oooohwhoops. Sakura: -goes tense- Whatwhat will we do Kabuto: -buts his hand to her cheek- I dont care. Maybe it wont pull through, maybe it will continue butright now we have time to be together. Lets use it. Sakura: -swells with joy and jumps onto him again and kissesOrochimaru: KYAAAAAA!!! Tsunade: My EARS!!! Orochimaru: But its so CUTE! Itachi: no. Its brother thing. You understand, Jiraiya: I so wanted to keep living in denial Haku: PRESENT!!!! plays with ribbonHinata: Kyaa! goes and pulls a kitty out of the boxKurenai: -starts taking infinite chocolate outGaara: FRAPS!!!! Itachi: WHOOOO!! Zakura: ok, thats a little luxurious and I havent flexed my power in a while so -destroys giftboxKyuubi: Nice. Hinata: -sniffleZakura: -instantly reconstructs giftboxHinata: YAY!!

Zakura: -meltsSakura: Do you like bubbles? Ino: What kind of shows you like? Sasgay: What's your fav. Word to say? -gives every one bubbles- You just got to love them bubbles! Haku: I have a question!! Zakura: yeah? Haku: Who DOESNT like freaking bubbles?! Everyone: -no responseHaku: You see! Bubbles rule!! Ino: Oh, you know. The Hills, Laguna Beach Sakura: think of the most most stuck-up snobby people you know (like Ino) put them on TV, and shell gush all over it. Kabuto: zing. smoochesIno: -glowerZakura: -snickerSasuke: -in the pool room with Naruto- Mywhat? Naruto: -shrugs- Weve all learned not to ask. Sasuke: I dont know! Smock! AnywayNaruto Naruto: Er, yeah? Sasuke: Ive fucked up. Naruto: yeah. Sasuke: I, I did so much stupid shit. I hurt you and Sakurabut thatthat was at least for a good REASON. What I did to Shikamaru.what Ive been doing to myselfgod I fucked up so badly. Naruto: Ill say.

Sasuke: -sits heavily, pulling at his hair- Why am I so stupid Naruto? Why do I do nothing right? Naruto: Well, shit happened in your past soI mean it probably just really messed with your head, yknow? Sasuke: Shit happened to YOU! And all you do is help people! II just make everything horribleShikamaru was the best thing that ever happened to me. And II took it for granted, and treated him like dirt. tears upNaruto: Wowyou really are a little emo bitch. Sasuke: excuse me? Naruto: I mean Come ON, Sasuke. Whats done is done. And yeah, you fucked up. But youre not gonna ERASE it. You can only fix it. Sasuke: How the fuck do you fix something this major? Naruto: With long hard work. Sasuke: -moooanNaruto: Oh come ON. You work hard to be strong enough to kill your incest-loving brother but you cant work hard to win back someone important to you?! Sasuke: but Naruto: Obviously you really dont give a fuck about him Sasuke: DONT say thatI love himhes the only one that understands and supports my choices. He is THE most important thing to me! FUCK Itachi. FUCK Orochimaru Naruto: you already have. Sasuke: well, despite thatShikamaru is the number one thing! I need to get him back Naruto! Naruto: I dont think you can. Sasuke: Butbut hes Naruto: You still back-stabbed him. You destroyed your relationship and broke his heart. I dont think theres any getting back to be donejust getting forgiveness.

Sasuke: oh. Well, I guess your right. Naruto: So, youre gonna abandon all this nonsense and come back to us? Sasuke: no. Naruto: what? Sasuke: I still have to continue what Ive started! That would just be another weak move on MY part! Itll all be over soon. Then Ill come back and focus on fixing what I broke Naruto: Well, good luck. Sasuke: You dont think itll happen do you? Ive fucked up too mucheveryone hates me. My husbandmy friendsyou Naruto: Hey now! I dont hate you Sasuke! Sasuke: you dont? Naruto: Never. Thats a promise. You may be a stupid emo bitch every now and then, but I will NEVER hate you. Sasuke: Wowthank youNarutoyoure really the best Naruto: I know. Come on. Get your ass out there and start work. -they walk out into a room filled with giggling ninja and Haku running around spreading bubbles everywhereSasuke: I dont know if Ill survive Naruto: Go tell Shika what you told me. Sasuke: Ok-nervous gulpA.H.S: since nii-chan said Ita-sama is a cosmetics genius, I thought I would give him this dare. Give Sakura-chan a sexy make over!! Zakura, Aleara wants to know what your favorite color is. -Snuggles into Zetsu as a teenage Kaze walks past- shit mom! Is that Kisame?! Dude! He looks so fucking tasty!! Itachi: OOOO!!! MAKEOVER!!

Sakura: What but I Itachi: LETS GO!!!! Kabuto: -whimpers as they pull Sakura awayZakura: Black. All the fucking way. Kisame: See? I even look tasty. Deidara: Well most people do like tuna, yeah. Sasuke: -walks towards Shikamaru- Hey Shi Choji: -steps in his way- Back off. Youve done enough harm here. Sasuke: Listen I just want to ap Choji: I said BACK OFF. Nothing you could say Shikamaru: Let him past, Choji. Ill listen to him. Choji: -looks at Shikamaru in semi-hurt confusion and then steps back to let Sasuke passRaina didnt come cuz she is decorating our Manda fan-club base. Ok, as always, loads of fraps for 2 of the coolest people I have the pleasure of giving fraps to. (Kekaiyou) Ok, Kurenai I get it (feeds Kurenai more chocolate) (me) KYUUBI! (bows to Kyuubi) In honor of your awesomeness... THIS PATHETIC SACRAFICE! (tosses brother to Kyuubi) eat him, scratch, spit, idc. I hate the sniveling worm. (Rai) NO CISSY-SAN! DONT LET HIM EAT ME! (Kekaiyou) and I bought her stuff all I got was a thanks. (me) yes, shes right, your an obsessed fanboy. (Kekaiyou) damn...TO THE EMO CORNER! Manda: You people were serious? That is so pathetic. Kyuubi: -sprawling on his back- word. Hmm? looks at kid- You want him? Manda: Suuure. Kyuubi: -tosses kid to MandaManda: -swallows whole-

Kurenai: -devours chocolateGaa/Ita: -devour FrapsDeidara: Lol! More Emo-corner!! Yeah! Sasuke: ShikamaruI Shikamaru: Before you go through it all again, I heard your conversation with Naruto. Sasuke: Ohso Shikamaru: Did you really mean it all? Sasuke: every word. Shikamaru: well, at least you acknowledge what you did. Sasuke: so Shikamaru: No. Im not coming back to you Sasuke: I didnt think you wouldbut, will you at least accept my appology? Shikamaru: Why dont you give it and see? Sasuke: -nods- Shikamaru, I am so sorry. I treated you like dirtII was a complete and total scumbag. Im sorry. Shikamaru: -slapsSasuke: -is slapped- OWW!! -pauseSasuke: I deserved that. Shikamaru: -smirk- Yes. You did. Sasuke: -nods sadly. Turns to goShikamaru: apology accepted. Sasuke: -turns back- Andmy friendship?

Shikamaru: Well see. Sasuke: -smiles, leavesMerry Christmas to all! Sasuke: Why are you so late? NO LATE ENTRIES! (throws Sasuke into the Jingle Jail). Shikamaru: What kind of fantastic lapse in judgement caused you to marry at age twelve, TO SASUKE OF ALL PEOPLE? Kimimaro: Are those red dots on your forehead self-destruct buttons? Manda: You rock as one of the best summons in Naruto! And you look good in reindeer antlers! Sakura: Ermerry Christmas-is dressed in a red cocktail dress with her hair done up and her makeup beautifully appliedKabuto: Its nice to be able to freely ogle you at times like this. Sakura: -shoves- really? Kabuto: Oh yeah. kisses- But I only want to take in apart now Sakura: -blushSasuke: What is -Sasuke is thrown in a cage covers in tinsel and ornaments and in dressed as an elf with reindeer antlersSasuke: Godammit Naruto: You know youve had this coming Sasuke: THE FUCK I HAVE!! Naruto: hey! That was a very non-emo response! Im proud of you! Sasuke: fuck off. Shikamaru: Actually, it was when we were fifteen. Lucifel: Member? I made it the Deidara-story-arc time frame! Shikamaru: and, well, with everything going, time seemed tight and we were kind of stupidly in loveat least I was Choji: Shikamaru, why did you forgive him?

Shikamaru: -sighs- I dont knowI guessdespite how much he hurt meI still love him a little, and want to give him a chance to change. If not for my sake, for his own and so it wont happen to anyone else Choji: But thats Shikamaru: I just wish-tears well- I wasnt the one he made the mistake on. Choji: Shika Shikamaru: -falls against Choji and sobsChoji: -sighs and holds him closeKimimaro: Of course not! Lee: -pokes red dotKimimaro: Um Lee: What? Just checking Gaara: -face-palmManda: thanksand get near me with those things and youre DEAD. Kyuubi: You got your BOXORZ ROXORD by Stitch! Ha! Now that you have been beaten by the fluffy, you must join the fluffy! (turns Kyuubi into an extremely cute fox-demon-like red-orange Experiment). Oh, and since the last alien was such a smash hit, I throw Invader Zim and Gir into the room. Akatsuki members, teach Zim the ways of villainy! Kyuubi: I dont THINK so. Zakura: I told you Kyuubi: Bitch you said I could be chibi-fied! Nothing about experiments! Zakura: Fair compromise. Kyuubi: WHAT? -KYUUBI IS CHIBI!!-

Kyuubi: You will all die Deidara: So, wheres this Zim person? -crickets chirpingLucifel: Sowho wants to pretend I watch that show, he showed up and made some funny jokes referencing his show and left. Deidara: Fine, yeah. Everyone: -general consensus of okKabuto and Sakura: -glues togetherSasuke: 1. whos the craziest fangirl youve ever met, and why? 2. whats your view on sasunaru. 3. do you want a turtle? his name is lightning star. HT: ITS MOVIE MONDAY! except it really isnt monday. well, theres something about this one guy, and jail house rock and stuff. anyone want 'em? amber: she has no life. but its almost christmas. what does everyone want for the holidays? Sasuke: Er.honestly? you. Youre fucking weird girl. Plus you were one of the first that I had an extended stay with. shuddersNaruto: NO!! SASUNARUMUSTDIE!!!! Sasuke: What he said. And also, fuck NO I dont want your turtle! I lived with you, remember? I know what the bloody thing DOES!!! Naruto: what does it do? Sasuke: -shudders- It made kankuro welcome company. Naruto: Eick Sakura: why not? We can have a movie night for Christmas! Tsunade: Im not leaving my damn fire. Orochimaru: Of COURSE fucking not! Zakura: Pssst, Oro. Cmere. Orochimaru: what, Whyyyy?

Zakura: just DO it. Orochimaru: -whines and crawls over- what is it? Zakura; You remember when we were betting on Itachi lasting without fraps way back in chapter 17? Orochimaru: Nooo Zakura: Well, we did. Now. You owe me a favor. I won. Orochimaru: OH godammit. All right, let me warm up my tongue Zakura: NO! Thats noteughamere. whispers in earSakura: I got the perfect gift already. snugglesKurenai: You need to ask?! Hinata: anosaI dont know. blushZakura: -swoonsomg, i just realized that yesterday was the 1 year anniversery of ask sakura -throws confetti and gives a piece of paper to everyone- i think the first anniversary is paper, yeah -has fallen off her train of thought- crap sakura, did you know that inoxsakura and all variations of such is like the most popular yuri paring ever? why dont you give a demonstration, yeah. i dare you too. just a question, what are you gonna do when the story is done lucifel? i mean, this obviously took up most of your life, yeah. so wont it be like a part of you has died or something? i guess i'll congratulate the sannin on their victory in the Great Snowball War -congratulatesum...how old is everyone? Lucifel: -gaps- It HAS been a year!! KYAAA!!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY EVERYONE!! Saku/Naru/Lee: -moaaanLucifel: Well, I appreciate it-helps back on trainSakura: ACK! NO! I dont wanna

-INO/SAKURA MAKEOUTS!!Kabuto: If I was a little less gay Id be severely turned on. Sakura: -sitting gagging- but you Kabuto: well, bi, whatever.Im only minorly aroused now Sakura: ohcuz Im freaking excited Kabuto: Well, meow. Lucifel: Well, since you brought it upyeah. Thisll be a major change in my schedule to no longer work on this. I dont even have a clue what Ill do with myself, haha. No, honestly, I need to fucking finish Loyalty Eternal. (Its only got like one or two chapters left) And then I have a couple other long stories I wanna work on, and Ill put up some more oneshots. I think I might start taking challenge storiesMAYBE. Anyway, yeah. Thats about it. Tsunade: Fuck YEAH congratulate me bitch!! Jiraiya: WHOOOOO!!! -crickets chirpEveryone: Ummm Zakura: As old as they are during the Gaara Shippuden story archeh Hinata: -jumps as someone taps her shoulder, turns around to see Orochimaru handing her a folded piece of paper and then he slinks back to the other Sannin- uweh? Zakura: -watches shylyHinata: -opens paper and reads- -turns beet red and sits next Kurenai shylyZakura: -sighsI am still united on the fact that Sasuke is and always will be the biggest prik on the face of the earth... or where ever he is really Skia-kun can have a wireless laptop... dunno if you have internet over there but you can always play games on it... until the battery dies Ino... If you weren't blonde what hair colour would you have? Oro-dono who is smexier Naruto or Lee? loves He-Yan... kisses for everyone!!

Choji: word. Shikamaru: -snifflelaugh- OH! starts tapping madly at keyboardChoji: -leans over shoulder- OH! I love that game! Lemme play! Shikamaru: no, you go to slow Choji: Come on, let me have one try Orochimaru: Are you two playing on a computer or having sex? Jiraiya: They can be equally awesome. Tsunade: -rolls eyesIno: Red head, definitely. They get a lot of action too. And Id look damn good. Orochimaru: what.thefuck? HowI meanewwwww. I guess Lee cuz he has a better bodyeick Jiraiya: But Narutos face is far more normal. Yondaime: And he has MY genes. Orochimaru: Oooh, good point Sakura: Isn't Sasuke acting a little strange? (Snap out of it girl!) Kabuto: The girl's in shock. Give her some time. After how you have acted previously, what did you expect her to do, kiss you senseless? You've been a jerk, give her time. Kabuto: I think it worked out pretty well actually. Sakura: Eh, I guess. -they smile, giggle, and kiss a lot moreOrochimaru: awwwww. Jiraiya: that is already getting old. Lucifel: And now, Id like to say a little something. Since this thing is drawing to a close, I contacted some of my favorite old reviewers who havent been around in a while. And I just want to say it is SO lovely to see you all again. And especially this guy;

Wow, been a LONG time since I reviewed. Still not really sure why, but I guess it's just one of those things. A request from the Angel herself made me realize that I was actually MISSED as a reviewer! That surprised the hell outta me since my last one was way back in chapter 23! But, after many long and uneccessary months of absence, I'm back for the second to last time. I missed you guys. See ya next chapter! Khellan Rafe That Navy dude from back in the day Kurenai: ITS MY NAVY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! pouncesfails- if they can come here, why cant I go there?! Zakura: sorry darlin. Kurenai: But I waaaaaant him. Hinata: I-I think youve had bit too much chocolate. Kurenai: Dont you EVER speak to me like that again young lady. Hinata: Yes maam. Lucifel: Just my way of showing you how much you were missed, Rafe. Oh, and remember this gal?? Thanks for the poke Lucifiel ^.^ Alright now the real review begins... I may have been gone before... I may have ignored you for a while (cause I have school) I may have totally screwed my brain over with yaoi... BUT I'M BACK FUCKERS AND I WANT KABUTO DAMNIT! Gimme, Gimme, Gimme! Fuck it Sakura - hand the bishie over NAO! He's mine - and there isn't a thing you can do about it. And Kimi, yeah you're real cute with him to but can't you see, he's mine... MINE. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Darn I knew there was something wrong when I woke up wanting mpreg fiction... Anyway -coughcough- I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GLOMP YOU KABY! -glompglompglompglompPhew - I'm tired now... Anyway... I LOVE YOU ALL - EXPECIALLY YOU KABUTO! *hugs for everyone - and a kiss for Kabuto* ~Rose :heart: Kabuto: oh my god

Sakura: holy shit Orochimaru: KYAA!! ITS Kabutos fangirl!! Itachi: Oh GOD this is the one that sent us to the nerd-world! Save me! Kabuto: YOU?! What about me! Ive gotta hide!! Sakura: hey! Youve got me now. Just calm down. Ill keep you safe. kissKabuto: Hey! Thats not safe! Shes a fangirl! God knows what shed do to you! Sakura: I can handle it. Id rather face a fangirl than not kiss you. Naruto: -makes gagging noisesLee: Ahh, now that is wonderfully youthful!! Orochimaru: OMG!!! Jiraiya: what? Orochimaru: Looking at all these old reviewers reminded me; you know what we should do to celebrate a full year? Sakura: what? nervousOrochimaru: Fuck movies! We need another tickle orgy!! Kurenai: Now I don Sakura: Sure why not? Zakura: FUCK YEAH!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! And there was much cuteness and tickling and they all fell in piles about the place as each was turned on in turn to be tickled ruthlessly and violently until the tide would randomly switch and someone else took full-brunt. It was glorious. For there was much accidental groping and even more adorable moments that make one want to barf bubbles and rainbows. Teehee. Lucifel: Ok guys. This is it. These will be your last reviews. Please, really put some thought into these, make em count. I want this to be as awesome as possible. Dont be afraid to ask many questions. I may still cut them down, but I dont want you guys to

worry about that this time around. Dont go crazy with extra stuff, but as far as questions go, give em to me. See you all New Years Eve. Much Love, Lucifel

WINNERS OF THE BESTS COMPETITION: Lucifel: Hello one and all! Merry Christmas!!! And if you dont celebrate Christmas have a good day anyway!! Even though its over. Heh. I now bring you the winners of the Ask Sakura Bests competition!!!

-DRUMROLLFor Best Running Gag the Winner Is: -cymbal crashOH MY GOD!!! ITS A TIE!!!!! FRAPS AND INCEST!!!!!!!!! -THUNDEROUS APPLAUSEWell thats funny. Although I gotta say, Im not all that surprised. Itachi: DO THE WINNING GAGS GET TO HAPPEN??!?! Lucifel: Whatre you doing here? This is a special for ONLY me! Out! Out! Gaara: -slams me on the floor and hold a kunai to my throat- Hand over the fraps or else Lucifel: Meep. gives frapsGaara: -nodsItachi: And the incest? Gaara: Oh, give it a rest. pulls him awayLucifel: -standing and straightening her clothes and hair- Ahem. So, moving on! -DRUMROLLWinner for Best Unexpected Couple!! -CYMBAL CRASHBY ONE VOTE!!! SHIKAMARU AND SASUKE!!!!! Man, Sakura/Kabuto were a close second. Orochimaru: WHAT?! No!!!! BUT THEYRE SO CUTE!! Lucifel: Well, yes but it was about who was the biggest surprise so Orochimaru: ITS AN OUTRAGE!! What about my vote?! Dont I count?!

Lucifel: Wellthat would only make in a tie Orochimaru: OUTRAGE!! CHEATS!! THEFT!! MUTINY!!! Lucifel: -gently pushes him out the door on his raging way- Okwell, I think its awesome. I did intend that to be pretty huge. I had it planned since Shikamaru showed up. Anywho. Deidara: AnyWHIZZLE. Lucifel: Out. Deidara: -slips outside-DRUMROLLThe winner for Best Plausible Couple IS!! -CYMBAL CRASHBY A LANDSLIDE; HAKU AND ZABUZA!!! Haku: Kyaaaaa!! What do I win? Lucifel: how do you guys keep getting in here? I have the voting booth locked!! Kyuubi: -standing by the door with lock picks snickeringHaku: Sono prize-big, weepy eyesZabuza: Ahem. glares, pulls out kunaiLucifel: Ehehe-hands Haku a kitty cat- There you go. Congrats. Zabuza: -nods and leads a bouncy Haku back outLucifel: -siiiigh- Moving on! -DRUMROLLThe winner for Best Guest Character IS!!! -CYMBAL CRASHOH!! This was an all-around close one! BUT THE WINNER IS ED!!!!!!

Ed: What?! NO! I dont wanna be back! Lucifel: Sorry kiddo, this was my idea. Winner of best guest gets to return for the final chapter. Ed: WHAT?! Lucifel: Yup, arent you so happy you beat Ayame by two votes? Ayame: -looks sadly through the windowEd: But he WANTS to be here! I dont! get away from me I -continues rambling as Deidara drags him into the roomLucifel: yay! Ok! -DRUMROLLWinner for Best Theme IS!! -CYMBAL CRASHMASQUERADE!! Ino: ha! That was my entrance! They love me!! Lucifel: Kyuubi you close that GODDAMN DOOR!!! Kyuubi: heeheehee Lucifel: -boots Ino outKyuubi: Oh come on. Im a fucking CHIBI again! What do you want? Lucifel: Im the fucking author-grumbles- Ok. Well! -DRUMROLLWinner for best Aww Moment IS! -Rubber ducky squeakAwhat? Shino, behave.

Shino: -sitting at drum set- What? It was getting redundant! You know they want randomness. Lucifel: Do it right. Shino: Fine. rolls eyes-DRUMROLLLucifel: The Winner of best Aww Moment IS!! -Drumstick hits me in the headLucifel: SHINO!!!! Shino: It SLIPPED! Geez, youd think youd give a guy a chance. Ive been one of the most well-behaved throughout this damn thing Lucife: -glaresShino: -DRUMROLLLucifel: The Winner of best Aww Moment IS!! -CYMBAL CRASHBY AN OVERWHELMING VOTE HAKU AND HINATA!!!! Haku: YAY!!!!!!! Hinata: W-what? Whats going on? Haku: We get presents! Lucifel: No you DONT!! Kyuubi: OH Zabuzaaaa Lucifel: I have control over HIM! He cant hurt me! Haku/Hina: -big sad eyes- no presents? Lucifel: my own work betrays meof course. Heres some candy. Haku/Hina: YAY!! they skip off-

Lucifel: Anyway! -Rubber Ducky squeakLucifel: SHINO!!!! Shino: It was just for fun! What? You didnt say I couldnt! Lucifel: -stalks up, pulls ducky away, glues drumsticks to his handsShino: -sulksLucifel: Ahem. -DRUMROLLLucifel: And the Winner for Best Dramatic Moment IS!! -The drumset falls and smashes, the cymbals hitting me in the head with a CRASHLucifel: WHAT THE FUCK?! Shino: you never said HOW the cymbal had to crash!! Lucifel: RAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! chases him violently out of the room, and then slams the door shut, panting- The winner was Shikamarus Divorce statement. Im going to bed. -the door will not openLucifel: You gotta be fucking kidding me Kyuubi: YEAH! How do YOU like it, bitch?! Sakura: youre SO my hero now. -high-fiveLucifel: LET ME OUT OF HERE!! YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!! SAKURA!! I GAVE YOU KABUTO!! I CAN JUST AS EASILY TAKE HIM AWAY!! I KNOW YOURE STILL OUT THERE!!! YOU CANT IGNORE ME!! OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR!! I HAVE PRESENTS TO PLAY WITH!!! YOU LITTLE FUCKER KYUUBI!! YOU THINK YOURE SO TOUGH!! ILL GET STITCH!! I SWEAR I WILL

Merry Christmas guys.

Ask Sakura 57 1 Lucifel: -sitting in a corner of the poll room- Hello everyone! Just a real quick thing before we get started on this, the last chapter of Ask Sakura. I loved the reviews this time

around (despite all you damn spoilersI hate thatgrr)! Everyone was so nice, and with each review I got a little misty eyed remembering all our history together. This here is the last chapter, but Im gonna have a small epilogue tomorrow. See you then. But for now, on with the show! Sakura: -lies panting in Kabutos lap- We should have done that again AGES ago. Deidara: BEST THING EVAR!!!!!!! Orochimaru: -is still beset by gigglesprolly cuz Jiraiya and Tsunade never stopped tickling himSakura: And you! Turns on Kabuto- Dont think I didnt notice! Kabuto: What? Your shirt was baggy! I cant help it if it fell OVER my hands! Sakura: -glares and kissesGaara: -is clinging tightly to LeeHaku: -coos happily in Zabuzas armsKJ: I cannot believe we've went through so many chapters already! *flashb-Az: BITCH DON'T YOU DARE. Ino, how does it feel to know that in a few years, you'll be old and dry and nobody will want you? Not even your Uncle Roy? Sasuke, you = bitch. Apology or not. I suggest you get your act together; some of us fangirls are allergic to ignorance. ..God I feel like Lee. -gives youthful crayons and a coloring book- Go crazeh, homeslice. KJ: *throws cookies* Happy Holidays, Lucifel! Kabuto: Yeah, I feel the same about flash-backs Sakura: Oh please! That was TWICE as embarrassing for me! I actually HAVE a reputation! Kabuto: Ouch. You bad little girl...-spanksSakura: -blushOrochimaru: KY Tsunade: -duct tapes mouth shut- NO.

Ino: Youre a BITCH!! starts cryingNeji; Is, uh, anyone gonna comfort her? Everyone: -stays perfectly stillNeji: Oh, ouch Shika/Cho: -sighShikamaru: You know we have to, right? Choji: Yeeeah -they go and hug herIno: You guysThank you! hugs back, still cryingShikamaru: -pat, patChoji: You owe me dinner. Ino: -nodsSasuke: hey! I am not! Shikamaru forgave me! Naruto: But youre still a little bitch. Sasuke: dammit. Fine. Yes. Im sorry. Orochimaru: smiles and claps handsLee: YOSH!! YOUTH!!!!!!! colorsGaara: -blushes at cutenessholy. shit! i can't believe this is ending! Sorry I haven't written for like a century and MAN Angel Lucy you've outdone yourself. well lemme tell you a little something I always felt about all of you guys in the TV show and manga... Chouji: You're practically the only character who doesn't deserve constructive criticism, but one thing...lose some weight. PLEASE! Honestly my friend here would fuck you...but you're fat so either end up like Dr Dempsie (A latin teacher of mine whose a forty year old virgin) or lose weight and get laid! YEO! Shikamaru: You're really smart and like Chouji I don't think you actually deserve any

criticism...but you're really boring and I have another friend who would have $+ with you if you became a bit more fun, cos she thinks she'll "have to do all the work" Lee: You were a really hard worker and you fought against all odds to be a great ninja...but like Cho and Shika, my other friend would do you...but you need to change your look...cos she don't wanna wake up and see big bushy eyebrows and a bowl cut...Other than that you're a really cool person. lol Deidara: Just do me a favour...I wanna know...(please don't feel insulted!) ARE YOU A GUY?! Cos I have another friend (YES I HAVE MANY FRIENDS WHO WOULD DO A LOT OF GUYS!) who'd do you...but I have my suspicions...that...you're a girl...drop your pants...Other than that...YOU ARE THE SMEXY BOY! woh! Orochimaru: You're an ass who deserves to die! I'd kill if I had the chance and if I could. (you haven't heard the last of ME! good bye forever!) Everyone: umm Sakura: So basically, she hated us all, and then liked us? Lucifel: That about sums it up! Except for some people who still need work, according to her. Ino/Shika/Cho: -seetheChoji: I AM NOT FAT!!!!! Shikamaru: -sighs- So what? I dont care what your girl wants. And I can get very passionate if the situation calls for it. And DONT insult my friends, bitch. Choji: Shikamaru is AMAZING! You have no right to insult him! AND IM NOT FAT!!!! Ino: What the fuck is your problem girly? Shikamaru is so bloody BRILLIANT hed probably find the best way to have sex EVER. But youll never get to experience it. And even if hes a little chubby, do you know how many times that has SAVED us?! He not lazy-fat, he takes care of himself, so who are YOU to criticize?! Shika/Cho: -stunnedIno: What? Shika/Cho: -hug againIno: What? You guys are my friends! Of COURSE Ill yell at anyone being a bitch to you! Shikamaru: -hugs tighter-

Choji: Ino, you may be a bitch, but I love you. Shikamaru: WE love you. Ino: -blush- thanks guys Kyuubi: Now that theyre done being gay little ninja kids can I say my piece? Sakura: sure Kyuubi: The girl is right. You all suck. Tsunade: Dont be moody just cuz youre chibi. Kyuubi: FUCK you. Yondaime: And if I recall, youd bring yourself low enough to try and fuck many of us? So that would mean you dont think of YOURSELF very highly either. Kyuubi: You all will DIE. Reallyyou will-grumble growlGaara: If you werent already on the list, youre going on it now. Lee: My hair is youthful! You must be an old bat indeed not to see it!! Gaara: -nods and kissesTsunade: Seriously, girly, if youre the kind of person that thinks people would change their appearance just to get sex (which most of them get anyway) then you seriously need to re-evaluate your life. Jiraiya: well, I have this friend and he would like to sex up a fan girl, but she would need Tsunade: -steals the ready skillet from Kurenai and bashes Jiraiya- NO!! Jiraiya: Awww. Deidara: Im a guy! Gets naked- See? Everyone: -either screams and looks away or cant stop staring, Im sure by now you know which is whichDeidara: teeheehee. Starts getting re-dressedSasori: Oh no you dont. Pulls into closet-

Ed: Why, why, WHY did I have to come back here?! Orochimaru: -removing duct tape- Cuz youre so CUTE!! Ed: -whimperOrochimaru: -gasp- WHAT A BITCH!!! I HATE YOU!! Kyuubi: Oh come on, Oro, like you havent been told youre hated a million times already. Orochimaru: ButbutIm SEXY. Jiraiya: Mmmm, yeah. GaspTsunade: What? -pulls her into a corner where they start whispering and gigglingOrochimaru: huh? Itachi: How can she say we havent heard the last of herand then goodbye forever? Kabuto: Because shes a fangirl. What do you expect? Itachi: I dunnoanyway, Im with Kyuubi. This is one fangirl I can laugh WITH. Teehee, yay for being cruelly critical!! Sakura: Oh fuck you. Jiraiya: I dare you to ask Hinata for smex. -gives Jiraiya anti-Kurenai and anti-Tsunade shield- And if you don't do this dare, I'll turn all your Icha Icha into chocolate and feed it to Kurenai -snickersSasori: With all those puppets and strings and gadgets, you'd make an awesome bondage smex machine. I dare you to tie up and have bondage smex with anyone you want Sakura: I dare you to bang Kabuto in front of everyone right now. Orochimaru: Yay! Sex! Zakura: All sex, smex, or banging is changed to kiss. And Jiraiya? Jiraiya: Er, yes? Zakura: You can either loose your books, or have your JAW broken. Your pick.

Hinata: No, I dont want him to have to loose all his hard work! Illkiss him. Zakura: -seethesShikamaru: Hinata, what does the necklace make you do? Hinata: I cant deny anyoneuhah Shikamaru: Sex, right? Hinata: -nodsShikamaru: And what will Jiraiya be asking you for? Hinata; a kiss? Shikamaru: So do you have to give it to him? Hinata: noI dont! Oh yay! Thank you Shikamaru! I owe you!! big hugJiraiya: Ouch, my pride Kiba: Hey! Thats the old Shikamaru! Hes back to normal! Shikamaru: -small smile- the first person to hug me dies. Everyone: -hesitates--MASSIVE GLOMPAGE ON SHIKAMARUShikamaru: Dammit. Sasori: Sohow does one pull off bondage kissing? Deidara: What were doing right now, yeah? Sasori: good enough. continues his and Deidaras closet escapadesSakura: -kisses KabutoKabuto: Aww Sakura: No. Bad. smacks gentlyKabuto: -smilesYatta! I finally got my PC ban lifted! Just in time as well! -Glomps and huggles Naru- NARU-CHAN! -Nuzzles- How come you still don't have a

lover!? -throws in Sai and Tenten- one of these two would be a good lover for you... or you can have them both!! X3 -Bazookas Sasuke- Why the hell does Itachi-sama like you!? Your a bastard! Gaara, Itachi, Deidara: How do you deal with your huge mass of fangirls? -Huggles Naru again and gives him a bowl of ramenJune x Lucifel: Oh! Yay! Im so glad youre around!! Sai: Again? Tenten: Please dont throw me out a window this time!! Neji: Who the hell are you? Tenten: -sigh- Neji, we do this everyday Neji: Holy shit, you know my name?! Tenten: Leeeee Lee: Neji! This is our TEAM-MATE!!!! Neji: oh, yeah. I remember now. Tenten: -sighsSai: Why am I here NOW? Orochimaru: To sex up Naruto. Sai: Ohno. Naruto: I wouldnt want to anyway! Not with your small dick! Thats right! I got to it FIRST!! Sai: Oh dont be obscene. Naruto: -twitchYondaime: Young man, I think youll find that my son is FAR better-endowed than you. And, besides that, has a father who loves him very much. Both of which you could never hope to have. Excuse us. Were going to go get Ramen. Sai: -twitch-

Naruto: Youre the best dad EVER. Yondaime: -smilesSai: Well Im Deidara: NO! Join us!! Yeah! Sasori: -pulls Sai inTenten: -sits next to Ed- HiI havent seen you around before Ed: Yeah. Im not a ninja. Im an alchemist. Tenten: thats hot. Ed: I have a boyfriend Tenten: Oh. Ed: who would never find out if I made out with you. Tenten: Right on! -they make outSasuke: -hiding behind Orochimaru- Holy shit! I dont know!! Ask him!! Itachi: CUZ HE IS THE SMEXY!!!! grabs and nuzzlesSasuke: -gurgle choke sighGaara: they go on the list. Deidara: By graciously accepting gifts!! Yeah!! Itachi: By scaring away the stupid ones with incest and ignoring the rest. licks Sasuke's earSasuke: -shiversWah!! this is such a bittersweet moment! *hugs everyone, one at a time* Sasuke: *walks in as she gets to TFPKAAS! Sasuke* ...the fuck? *leaps off* I- but- wha- HUH?!

Sasuke: *twitches* he's me in a different reality. Oh... *continues huging, and finishes while still hugging Kyuubi* God, I am going to miss you all so much! Sasuke: I'm not. If it weren't for this thing you wouldn't have met this crazy Lucifel chick. ...*cries* OMFG, NO! IT CAN'T END! THIS IS WHERE I MET LU-CHAN! NO! Itachi-sama? I'm sorry I was mad at you. I still admire you even though you might die soon. Just so you know, I love you all, and I'll be thinking of you whenever I read or watch Naruto. And I love you too Lucifel-chan. When I was sifting through fics over a year ago and stumbled onto this, I had no idea I'd be getting such a wonderful, witty, funny, and smart friend like you. Aw, geeze, now I'm gonna have to make excuses to bug you with PMs and stuff... Loving you all, this fic, and Lucifel, Kryah (That one crazy kid who's been bugging you all since last Christmas) Lucifel: KRYAH!!! sobs and hugs- You must write me!! All the time! Youre such a wonderful person!! realizes she is not alone- Ahem. Yes well Kyuubi: I wanna go on Vacation again-makes puppy eyes at KryahNaruto: Thats disturbing. Kyuubi: I have to use this damn body to my advantage! Eat your ramen! Naruto: OK!! Haku: Yay! hugs backSasori: Eugh, nothing ruins sexy moments more than a fan-girl hugI hope Deidara jizzed on you. Deidara: Ewwwww, yeah. Sasuke: WHY IS THERE ANOTHER ME!?! Sakura: Fangirls. They do as they please. Sasuke: -horrified- Does my hair really look like that? Itachi: Yes ototo-kun. It does. Sasuke: Oh godI need scissors Ino: Ill do it!!

Sasuke: Can I trust you? Ino: I want you to look sexy more than anyone else and if I mess you up Orochimaru and Itachi will attack me. Yes. Sasuke: Ok then. Itachi: and its cool Kryah. I forgive/love you. Youre not bad for a fan. Sakura: Love you too!! Kabuto: -gagsSakura: -kicksHowdy hey guys! It's SnowGaara here! And yes... I'm a dude... Here I am, sitting on the couch, sipping some fraps. -gives oh so wonderufl fraps to Gaara and Itachi- I LOVE YOU GUYS! Thanks to you, I've become a fan of fraps and incest...=D Gaara-kun: You rock, that's why I named myself after you, but where's your sand? You haven't used it at all! -gives new awesome gourdNeji: I'm glad you quit being a whore, because you're too cool for that. But won't you kind of miss it? -removes caged bird seal- NOW YOU ARE FREE! Sannin: -gives sannin cool swords, hats, and capes- Now be like the 3 Muskateers! Kurenai: Why is chocolate so great and do you like white chocolate? My girlfriend loves it, but I dont see why. -gives box of assorted chocolatesShikamaru: People say I'm just like you in every way. Glad you dumped that emo prick. -glares at Sasuke- How do you stay so lazy? I'd like to learn from you. Naruto: Also, I love ramen just about as much as you, let's have a ramen party!! -gives a life sized statue of Hinata made out of ramen- You two are meant for each other! Sasuke: Go die, Itachi is mine! How do you plan to defeat The Log? muwahaha -throws in The LogKimimaro: You rock! Got Milk? XD Sasori: Make me into a puppet plz? I'd love to serve you. Deidara: I WANT THOSE MOUTHS ON YOUR HANDS! Where can I get some? ^_~ P.S. Hope you can get Sasy-chan someday! Sakura + Kabuto: Congrats! -gives Kabuto a high five and a FRIENDLY hug to SakuraZakura: Power to the Lesbians... and people who like to wear black! We rock! Even though I am a guy... -gives some chains and new black outfits- And for the record, no... I'm not gay. Kisame: I want to eat you, I hope you taste like sushi! -eats- Have you ever snuck up on the other Akatsuki members while humming the jaws music? -gives stereo to play Jaws musicLee: LET THE POWER OF YOUTH EXPLODE!! -gives Lee some lotus flowers- Can you train me? I am very dedicated.

Haku: Do you ever use the Crystal Ice Mirrors to just look at yourself? -gives entire beauty salon that poofs into the room- And... -glomps- yay! Zabuza: Don't kill me, you're badass too! -door poofs into the room- It leads to your very own armory. It has any sword or weapon you can dream of! and they never get dull! Hinata: I love you... but you're meant for Naruto. -cries- Ow... My girlfriend just hit me... Oh well, here ya go! -gives fluffy little red fox- Kyuubi, plz don't kill it. Kiba: So I hear you like mudkipz? -also gives DS, with pokemon diamond and pearlGotta Catch Em' All! Akamaru: You rule enough to have your own part! -gives doggie treats- They're good! You kick ass more than any other dog I know! How do you stay so awesome? Shino: I give you bugs... and trees -lil corner of the room is forest-like, with cool bugsHas Akamaru ever eaten any of your bugs? Yondaime: You rule, 'nuff said. -gives new cool blue blazer, with long black slacks- Do you know you look like Volkner from Pokemon? Choji: I challenge you to an eating contest! But first, here. -throws in some Flan my girlfriend made- It's delish! (No question) Kankuro: People say I look like you. Where do you get your face paint? -gives a muffin...of DEATH- muwahahahahaha! Manda: If you hate it so much there, and since you're a summon, can't you just poof away to your little land of summons? and here -turns Manda orange- Now you match Naruto. I think that's everyone! Congrats on the story Lucifel-sama you rule!! -SnowGaara Lucifel: SNOWGAARA!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!! This kid has been around for awhile, and this is him finally reviewing! This kid made AWESOME avatars for Ask Sakura based on the running gags here. If you wanna see em send me a pm ok? Anyway, this is a big un, lets get to work. Itachi: YAY!! FRAPS AND INCEST!!! Gaara: -sipping frap- I dunno. I havent needed it. Lee: He is embracing Youth!! And youthfulness is not random violence, but rather, random TRIANING!!! drops and does push upsKimimaro: Gaara.seriously Gaara: hes cute!! Kimimaro: Oooook. shakes headNeji: Iwell.yeeeeahbut hey, Ill manage. Im sure Ill find a perfectly good duty elsewhere!!

Kiba: Good luck. Neji: Yeah. Heh. Shino: Ummso, arent you a little happy about being free? Neji: what? checks mirror- Oh my godI really amI just figured Zakura would Zakura: Whoops, missed that. re-does sealNeji: I hate you SO much. Zakura; -smileOrochimaru: OMG!! We are TOTALLY the musketeers!! Jiraiya: Yeahwhy dont we go musketeer in the pool room, eh? Orochimaru: ummok? Tsunade: -leads the way-They enter the pool roomOrochimaru: Ok so -They push him it pool, throwing all clothing and accessories onto the benches as they do soOrochimaru: you guys what--? Tsunade: Jiraiya was saying how we should do something special before we all go our separate ways again Jiraiya: And before you were always saying how much you wanted a pool orgy Tsunade: It may only be the three of us, but I mean, for old times sake and all Orochimaru: I love you guys. Jiraiya: Awesome. You too, now lets get kinky. Naruto: -horrorYondaime: Look away Narutojust ignore it.

Kurenai: ALL chocolate is amazing. But good old milk chocolate is the best!! takes chocolate to the corner- Youre girlfriend understands. Lucifel: White/Dark chocolate for the win!! Shikamaru: If you managed to write all that then youre not nearly lazy enough. Youll have to observe and learn if you wanna be taught, thats the only way. Its too troublesome to actually teach. Ino: How is CHOJI thebig-bonedone? Choji: I know! Totally not fair! Naruto: that is IMPOSSIBLE!! Because if I could, I would live off of ONLY ramen! And I bet youd want pizza or something Yondaime: What about drinking? Naruto: Umm, hello? Ramen is a SOUP!! Yondaime: Of course, my mistake. Naruto: OMG HELL YES WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!! Hinata: W-what? Naruto: This statue and I are gonna get freaking MARRIED!! YUMM!!! Hinata: -sigh- -messes with note paperZakura: -glances over shyly and look quickly awayItachi; did a BOY fan just claim ownership of me? Cause that is SO rockin. Sasuke: Wtf? I never even wanted him!! AGG!!! NOOO!! NOT THE LOG!! Zakura: Hold on! I have an idea! ties Sai to the log and throws the combo out the windowDeidara: Awww, why? Zakura: Because Sai is a prick. Anyway, isnt Tenten bi? Neji: Yeah, she is, why? Zakura: Cuz Iwait, what?

Neji: Tenten. Shes bi. Lee: YOU REMEMBERED HER!! Neji: Duh, shes my team-mate, why wouldnt I? Kiba: I think this no-more-whoring stuff is really good for you. Neji: -shrugsZakura: Anyway, ED!! Get off! I want a turn! Ed: Buuuut Tenten: Im kind of tired now anyway Zakura: -twitch- .oh really? throws out window tooEd: Dammit Zakura: and what about Roy? Ed: He makes out with riza all the time! Zakura: Oh.haha!! Ed; Hate you Kimimaro: Yes, very witty. Haha. scowlLee: Do you? Im kinda thirsty Gaara: -smacks LeeSasori: dudethis kid is awesome. I have no need for a normal mortal puppet but still Deidara: In the place of excruciatingly painful permanent jutsu, yeah. And seriously, yeah! This kid rocks!! Itachi: Wanting me. Sasori: Wanting to made into a puppet Deidara: Its like the perfect fan!

Sasori: Where have you BEEN? Lucifel: On AIM. Ita/Sas/Dei: awww Kabuto: thats the manliest thing a fans ever done. Kurenai: Khellen Rafe is WAY manlier than this kid. Kabuto: whatever. Sakura: -returning hug- I dont doubt it. This kid is kind ofoff Kabuto: -shrugs and nodsZakura: Well, Im sure if your were a woman youd make a great lesbian. gets dressed in black and chains- Kick-ass. Hinata: -blushesKisame: OWW! You little bugger! nursing his bite-wound- Anywaynocertainly not Deidara: I saw you do it to Tobi, yeah! You traumatized him! Kisame: Oh shut up! Kiba: dude-puts stereo in the pool roomOrochimaru: -SCREAMS and runs outEveryone: -cracks upOrochimaru: How dare you ruin my pool orgy! throws stereo at Kibas head and stalks back insideSakura: they arent really doing that are they? Sannin: HELL YEAH WE ARE!!!! Everyone: -twitchLee: YOSH!! THE POWER OF YOUTH IS EVER EXPLOSIVE!! I would love to train you!! Many of you show very much potential!!

Shikamaru: right, you cant very well aspire to be us boththat would never work. Choji: Or if it did itd be REALLY disturbing Shikamaru: -shudders- yeah Haku: well-blushes- sometimes Zabuza: so thats how you stayed so pretty when we were in the wilderness Haku: teehee, yeah. OOH!!! MAKEOVER TIME!! AND HUGS!! Zabuza: -glower- I only need one sword kid Zakura: holy shit!! Look at this stuff Zabuza: fine-goes to armory and starts playing with stuff and trying not to squealHinata: Oh! I hope I havent hurt you relationshipCUTE FOX!!! cuddlesKyuubi: No way.., Fox: Kyuubi-Nii-chan!! Kyuubi: Koda? Wtf are you doing here? Koda: Why are you a chibi? Kyuubi: Shut up and answer me. Koda: I came to cuddle with the cute human girl! Kyuubi: youre a pathetic excuse for a demon-fox Naruto: WTF? Kyuubi: Hes my cousin. sighHinata: -cuddlesKiba: FUCK YEAH!! goes and plays in a cornerShino: thanks for the loving attention fucktard. Kiba: Yeah, yeah, what should I name myself?!

Akamaru: -eating treats- arf, bark, yap! of course theyre good! Its edible!!- bark, yapitty, arf arf. its not hard to stay awesome when youre freakin NINJA dog. Kiba: Thats my boy!! Shino: Ooooh-goes to corner- yay. And no. never. Akamaru: Bark, yap! theyd be nasty! Theyd eat ma chakra!Yondaime: Oooh, I look hot. Naruto: dad, eww. Itachi: No there must be incest!! Naru/Yon: -glareItachi: fine. poutsYondaime: I do not! Kiba: -gasp- I challenge you to a pokemon battle!!! Yondaime: No. Kiba: -poutsChoji: YES!! Girlfriend food is always the best!!! Shikamaru: Youve OBVIOUSLY never gone out with Ino Ino: HEY!! Kankuro: I make it myself, actuallyMUFFGaara: -pounces and rubs behind earsKankuro: -meltsManda: IdamnHEY! WTF?! Naruto: HAH! YOU IS ORANGE!!! Manda: Ihateeveryone-lashes tail- Why arent I poofing back to the summons realm?

Zakura: sorry snakey. You may not say much but youre sticking around. Ed: Ive learned that just staying quiet saves you a lot of grief Zakura: Yeah but youre short. So youre easily ignored. Ed: WHATD YOU SAY YOU BITCH!! Zakura: Lolz, angry midget Ed: I AM NOT!!! lungesfalls on faceZakura: You need longer legs to make THAT jump. Ed: I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!! Lucifel: Thanks Snow!! Now continuing!! I have the fan-art of everyone in their Halloween Costumes ^_^ Yup! I finally saw Helenchan and she'd sketched them for me... I shall scan it in for everyone to see ^_^ Akamaru - will anything change for you when Kiba gets married? - Also, do you get along with Hana's dogs...? All THREE of them? Lucifel: Thanks for the fanart!! It was awesome!!! Akamaru: Bark, yap, yipp, arf. I dunno, I hope not. Its kind of Kibas call- -looks at KibaKiba: I dont see why it would. Kurenai: He may not want to sleep on your bed with you Kiba: Ive been sleeping with Shino for ages, Akamaru knows how to handle that. Shino: It wasnt a fun lesson to teach him though Kiba: Oh, hehe, yeeeah Akamaru: Arf. no.- Bark, bark yap, howl. The older two are cool, they like me and treat me as a kind of apprentice and teach me stuff.- whine, bark, yap but her youngest one steals my treatsKiba: That bastard. I try to stop him. Akamaru: whine.

Jeez, I missed a lot. My internet wasn't up for like 3 months so...ok! Sakura-san: At. Fucking. LAST! How long were u planning to keep that up? btw, good luck, I hear Kabuto ends up pretty messed up...help him Zakura-sama: undying love. Yeah, just another slave among hundreds, but... Naruto-kun: wow, when did you grow brains? Lucifel: You did, but at least youre here now!! Hurray! Sakura: Oh, thanks. ooh, really? Sucks to be him. Kabuto: Thanks so much for your worry, but its really not necessary. Sakura: hee. Listen, we both know this is only gonna last for the rest of this chapter so may as well enjoy it now right? What other or better choice is there? Im not gonna worry about the future, just for this little bit of time. Kabuto: Im not gonna complain. -makeoutsZakura: Hey, I may have hundreds of underling who worship me but that doesnt mean I dont appreciate each and everyoneeven though that may be case. Sakura: How very sweet of you Zakura: Well, seeing as youre getting tougher I may as well get sappier. Naruto: I didnt know you could grow brains!! Yondaime: you DID go to school didnt you? Naruto: Yeah, why? Yondaime: no reason Itachi: You missed an Uchiha besides your brother. Just thought I'd let you know. Lee: Of course evil can be youthful. Not all villains are old men. Look at Itachi, well under 30! Besides, demons like Kyuubi often have ETERNAL youth, Zaku/Kyuubi: how are you handling your imminent re-imprisonment? Kyuubi: who in this room do you particularly like or hate? Kabuto/Sakura: congrats on finally getting your head straight! Lucifel! Congrats on this grand slam ending to your fic! Itachi: see, why do you fans have to do that? We were all having a nice ending chapter and you go a drop a thing like that! UGH!! I cant stand you people! goes into the pool room to sulk-

Tsunade: -walking out with the other two- Youre lucky we were done Itachi Jiraiya: One sec -walks back in-SPLASHJiraiya: -runs back out then sits with Tsu and Oro whistling innocentlyItachi: YOU ALL SUCK!! Kiba: You wish!! Shino: You do. Kiba: -blush- Thats personal Neji: Ewww Kiba: Ok, you cant go from whore to prude in .5 seconds. NO ONE will buy that. Neji: Im not trying to. Youve always been gross. Kiba: you suck Lee: Inooo Itachi: -from the pool room still- IM NOT YOUTHFUL!! SCREW YOUTH!! Lee: There? You see! Youth is not age! Its a state of mind! Like Gai-sensei!! Kyuubi: So, how do you explain youthful demons? Lee: -whimper- Gaaraaaaaamake it go away!! Gaara: -sighs, slaps Kyuubi, hugs LeeKyuubi: Hey you little brat! Gaara: Youre a chibi, whatre you gonna do? Kyuubi: I hate you. Koda: Youre not very impressive you know

Kyuubi: Shuddapand anyway, theres nothing I can do about it. At least I wont be chibi. Zakura: -shrugs- Ill manage Kyuubi: Anyway, Naruto and Yondaime. Sakura: Which is which? Kyuubi: Both. Naruto: Huh? Yondaime: even I dont quite follow that one Kyuubi: Well, I guess thats your issue isnt it? Sakura: thanks! Kabuto: This is getting embarrassing Lucifel: Thanks! -claps.- About time Sakura-chan and Kabuto got together. Let me say this... MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE! o.O -gives every one a hug!Ino: Whats your favorite Month? And day and time and what time in the week? Orochimaru: I don't know what to ask you... Let me see...Oh! Do you like death note? If so...who do like? L: I know who kira is!! Me: Hush it L do not say anything for god sake! L: ...Can I have some sweets? Me: Uh yea sure?*gives*Naruto: what is your fav. Sweets? Ryuk: God damn it I want a fucking apple! Me: RYUK!*huggles.*Zakura: Omfg! o.o -gives zakura cookies a coke and lots of sweets!- I just L-O-V-E you! Sasuke: What are you going to do now? Haku:-gives him a fluffy shirt.- Hope you like it! Merry Chirstmas eve ! Lucifel: Merry Christmas to you too!! Kabuto: If I blush anymore Im gonna over-heat. Sakura: Why

Ino: Oh come, who WOULDNT want to know everything about me?! smile- My favorite month is definitely June! Because thats when everyone starts showing more skin and I (unlike most people) stay in shape year-round so I really look good!! Shikamaru: So troublesome Ino: And OBVIOUSLY the weekend is best! I loooove Friday nights! Because its usually the start to a fantastic weekend!! Choji: Ohhhand thats stir-fry night at homemmmmm Shikamaru: Oh, hell yeah. Even I can enthusiastic about that stuff. Choji: Why do you think I invite you over every Friday?? Ino: So you can ogle his sexy abs? Choji: Thats a happy coincidence. Shikamaru: -raises eyebrowsOrochimaru: Ya! Is awesome! Light is soooo smart and sexy yay!! And Ryuk is kind of sexy in his own way too Jiraiya: -twitch- Youre weird. Orochimaru: You like it. Jiraiya: Did I say otherwise? Naruto: Ramen candy!! Yondaime: And WHERE did you get something like that? Naruto: I invented it. Yondaime: Of course Naruto: See, first you get RAMEN, and then you add sugar until it crystallizes and then Yondaime: I, uh, didnt askor especially want to know. Naruto: ButI worked hard on it-big puppy eyesYondaime: Erthen by all means, whats next?

Naruto: YAY!! Okokokok, then -and more gorey detailsZakura: ahhh, fangirls. Is there anything they cant supply? Sakura: I dont want to think about that one. Sasuke: Well I-Haku: FLUFFY SHIRT!!! hugs himself- its like walking around wearing HUGS!!! Zabuza: I prefer to do the huggingwith or without shirts. Haku: Hee. Well, I like my shirt. snugglesZabuza: -laughs, shakes head, cuddlesSasuke: Anyway. Ill go back to Orochimarus, continue to get stronger. Kill Itachi. And then go back to Konoha and start fixing things up Shikamaru: Nice to know youve really got your priorities straight. Sasuke: -sulkOMG! The Last Review! Alrighty then, first question. 1) Lucifel, since I don't think you've had ANY yet, will you do a semi-serious story where the relationships and characteristics of the cast from here carry over into the the Naruto world? I personally think that would be freakin GREAT. 2) Kyuubi, I know we've had our differences early on, but would you please help me out? The Navy is really pissin me off, so you think you could... you know... annihilate it a bit? 3) Kurenai, wanna come over to my place? 4) Tsunade, wanna come over to my place? 5) Anyone else, wanna come over to my place? 6) Finally, I dare everyone there... TO GROUP HUG AND LIKE IT! Least you could all do after a year together, ne? Catch ya on the flip side everybody. Much Love, Khellan Rafe Lucifel: -sitting in a chair with a fancy suit looking very smug- Well, since you ask Khellen Rafe I would like to use this opportunity to 1) Put on the air of an obnoxious political talkshow guest and 2) let you all know that a saku/kabu one-shot-story is very much in the works. And probably a few more Ask Sakura-related oneshots. But Ill discuss more of this at my big press release this weekend. charming smile-

Sakura: what the hell? Lucifel: Right, because no one expects randomness from this story anymore. rolls eyesKyuubi: Sure. gets up, stretches, leavesDododo lala deedeedum dadum ledeedeeda. Kyuubi: -comes back in seething and growlingKoda: What happened Kyuubi-sama?! Kyuubi: They laughed at me. Yondaime: So, since youre chibi you werent able to do anything? Kyuubi: No, no, they laughed BEFORE I killed everyone and blew up the shipsbut they stilled laughed Kurenai: HELL YES!! And the rest of you are NO!! NO I SAY!! FOR THE MAN IN UNIFORM IS MINE!!!!! Kiba: I thought you after the man in uniTARD. Kurenai: I can use a break. Everyone: Awwww ma Sakura: WAIT. Everyone: -waits and pays attentionSakura: Wellummthis is kind of important so could I get a soap box or something? Gaara: Ive got a frap-crate. Sakura: That seems appropriate. Ahem. Ok, listen you guysI never, and I mean NEVER, thought I would say this, much less really think this but, here goes. I know we all are enemies or rivals oror dead or something but when it comes down to itits been fun. Its been really, really, fun. Sure, its unrealistic and when we get out of here everyone will be out to kill the other again but right now, were all friends. And, weve all been through a lot while weve been here soI want you all to know that I at least, even if were all supposed to forget this, will try to keep something Ive learned from here in my heart. And I really do want to hug you all.

Shino; Whatever youre on can I have some? Haku: Guys! stands on frap crate next to the shaken Sakura- You all know, deep down inside that you feel the same! Come on! Lets HUG!! Everyone: -goes in for the hugHaku: but WAIT!! Everyone: -screeches to a haltHaku: It has to be EVERYONE. Naruto: And? Haku: Ahem. Sakura: Oh come onnn. Haku: Someone has to go get Itachi. Sakura, dont whine, hes been here only a few lines less than you. You this story would have been nothing without him. Sakura: Finebut Im not getting him. Deidara: Ill go, yeah! Orochimaru: No, we need someone who can REALLY cheer him up. I wont have Itachi being one of the only people who doesnt end up happy here. Naruto: Aww, who would possno Orochimaru: Yes! SASUKE!! Sasuke: what? Orochimaru: Go get your brother. Sasuke: godammitI hate him! I wanna kill him! I Tsunade: BOY! IF YOU DONT GET YOUR ASS IN THERE WELL GIVE YOUR ASS TO HIM!!! Sasuke: Im on my way right now. zooms into pool room- Hey, they want you outside.

Itachi: But all the uchihas arent deadandand you hate me. I let you live cuz I adore you Sasuke: Ohthats erreally sweet and all. But um, theyre having a group hug outside so Itachi: Oh PLEASE. Im more of a pervert than Orochimaru. None of them want to hug meI know Im unloved. Sasuke: What about Deidara? Itachi: Deidara is the same way with EVERYONE, its not special Sasuke: -sighs and thinks- I may hate himbut hes still my brotherand Ill never get out and kill him unless this happens-walks up, hugs him and kisses himItachi: Eh? Sasuke: well, hey, its just incest right? Itachi: YEEEEE!! YES!! IT WORKED!!! Sasuke: -after a moment- You did all that just to get enough pity out of me to do something like that, didnt you? Itachi: Yes. smileSasuke: I really do hate you Itachi: Oh I know, but this will make everything worth any pain! It was even better than hoped! Yay! Now, you said something about a group hug-leavesSasuke: -sighs-they leave and there is a MASSIVE group hug surrounding the frap crateZakura: And now, how about a little New Years Eve celebration? SAKE!!!! Tsunade: WOOOOO!!!!! -The room is instantly decked out like a party room. Interpret that as you willItachi: ...It's just incest :D Have fun in Akatsuki, and say hi to Pein and Konan! -huggles a lot, and hands over tons of frapsDeidara: Make lots of art in heaven! I hope I see your explosions all the way to my house! I wish you were my brother!

Yondaime: I hope you meet your wife again in heaven. Have fun in there! You're great! -hugglesNaruto: Good luck in becoming a Hokage! And eat lots of ramen! Kurenai: -hands over tons of chocolate- Take care of your kiddo! ...By the way, how has he survived for a year?! Hinata: -hugs a lot- You're so cute and wonderful! What do YOU think of SasuHina? Gaara: -hands over fraps- Good luck in being Kazekage! And take care of Lee! ..And the other way around! Kisame: have fun being a fishy akatsuki. And uh... Don't rape Itachi. Please... Kyuubi: Um... Have fun inside Naruto, don't kill him... And good luck in being evil! You're a cute little fox. Manda: ...Hi. Bye. Zakura&Sakura: Okay, not too sure if Zakura returns inside Sakura, but oh well. I hope you two become strong, and that Sakura won't be completely a scaredy cat. And that spa trip is still waiting for you two! -huggles Lucifel: This has been a really great fanfic, and you rocked it! I'm really flattered that you put me on that little list up there -points at it, prints and frames itSniffle... I loved this fic... I hope you make another one someday ^^ If you will, warn me about it and I'll review every single chapter! Sigh... Okay, I'll stop this here ^^ BYE BYE! -pulls everyone into another giant hugItachi: Indeed it is. These fans are really managing to redeem themselves this time around, I mean dayum. Deidara: YEA!! Of course, yeah! I will be making explosions wherever I am yeah!! Sasori: eugh. Deidara: Having a family might be funbut naw, Id prolly just kill them yeah Yondaime: Er, thank you. And yes, shes there. returns hugNaruto: You think I wouldnt?! RAMEN!!!!! attacks the ramen bowl set up for the partyKabuto: -to Sakura- Should I get you some punch, then? Sakura: -snicker- No, but some saked be cool. Kabuto: Coming right up. Kurenai: Idont knowack! I shouldnt be drinking!! Lucifel: Its cool, time was suspended anyway. Kurenai: Oh-chugs sake-

Hinata: MeandSasuke? twitchSasuke: hmmwell she is Naru/Shika: -condescending warning glareKiba/Kure/Shin/Zaku: -I will kill you glareSasuke: --not my type. And besides, much more important things to do besides relationships Hinata: I feel cold Gaara: I will. guzzles frapsLee: As will I! Gaara is my number one! Forever and always! As I am to him! Gaara: -cuddling fraps and thinking- no one shall ever take you from memy darlings.my ownmy precious Kisame: Hey, you cant rape the willing. Deidara: True that!! Yeah! Kyuubi: And this was going SO wellcute little fox my asswhat a bitch-grumble, grrEd: Wellyou are. Kyuubi: If you want to talk about little. Ed: Youre smaller than me! You CANT get on my case! So HA! Ha! Hahahahahahahaahah!! YESSSS!! YOU ARE SMALL BEOTCH!! AND I AM LARGE!!! I AM OF THE BIG PEOPLE!!! Kisame: Youre also about the right height to blow me and still be standing. Ed: YOU MUST ALL DIE!!! rampagesManda: Ill eat you. Orochimaru: Behave Manda: I AM.

Sakura: ooooh, spa Zakura: Mmmm, HELL yeah. This kid is cool. Lucifel: yay. Love ya and youre welcome. And unfortunately sequels arent that likelybut again, Im gonna talk more about that in a bit. Sakura: By the time this is over Ill have a hugging Charlie-horse. HT: ok, everyone gets a plushie that turns into what you most desire for christmas. now then, something meaningful... i actually thought about something meaningful to say for this review, but i cant remember it. that happens a lot, actually... amber: well, this gave her as well as me and her few friends something to do. she looks forward to it and everything. but i guess when this ends she'll finish kingdom hearts and work on kh2. -sighHT: oh, i remember. you helped me get over my fear of M rated fanfics, and embrace my yaoi obsession! thanks lucifel! :D now for a bunch of QUESTIONS! what was your most enjoyable chapter in this fanfic, lucifel? will you all remember me as a crazed fangirl when this is over? im gonna capture kabuto and sakura when this is done MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! oh, sasuke too. :3 french vanilla ice cream, anyone? what did the paper say, hinata? people who are supposedly dead, is it fun being dead? WHO WANTS SPARKLERS TO CELEBRATE NEW YEARS!? -hands out 400 sparklers to whoever wants 'emHT: I LOVE YALL! -sigh- even oro... kinda... -gives everyone chocolate covered cookies to celebrate a succesful fanfictionLucifel: Dont worry HT, you dont need to say anything big. Your loyalty says it all. hugs- youre awesome. Oh, but Im glad I got you onto yaoi! Yay! And really, every chapter was good. Some were a little slow, and some I thought really rocked, but if I wasnt feeling something I wouldnt write it. Thats why I loved this fic. Every moment was me just doing what I wanted. Brilliance. I love 99 percent of the moments. Everyone: YES> Sasuke: You scare me Itachi: Youre fucking WEIRD. Sakura: You were one of the first to really be strange Lucifel: this is why I love you.

Sakura: You cant capture me!! Kabuto: Heyif were together Sakura: -twitchSasuke: NO! NEVER AGAIN!! Kankuro: Ill come back. Gaara: You will not. Kankuro: aww Everyone: ICE CREAM!!! Kurenai: -adds chocolateGaara: -adds frapHinata: Uweh? Th-th-the paper? Zakura: Er, that Sakura: Nope, let her talk. Hinata: Itit Kiba: -takes paperHinata: EEEK!! Kiba: -reading slowly, for he is dumb- Hinata; I have admired you ever since you arrived here. You are cute and charming and I really like you. Id have told you sooner but Im kind of scared Kurenai or Kiba will kill me. So, I know its late in the story but if you wanna snuggle or something just come on oversigned Zakurawtf? Zakura: -stalks over and bitch slaps KibaShino: You deserved that. Zakura: Sorry to have embarrassed you Hinata. I didnt mean that to make such a scene. turns around to go sulkHinata: Zakura! Wait! runs up-

Zakura: -turns around- ye Hinata: -kissEveryone: ZOMG Hinata: Youreuhreally prettyand I think youre nicer than you act Kurenai: I dont know how to react to this. Naruto: eh? Zakura: what? Hinata: -bluuush- do you wanna cuddle? Zakura: -just nods mutely and they go snuggle in a cornerNaruto: wtf? I thought she had a crush on me. Yondaime: Girls will only wait so long Kimimaro: Aaaanyway, being dead in heaven sucked. Yondaime: I liked it. Kimimaro: -shrugs- its just more your thing Haku: heehee! It was cool! You could do all kinds of neat things! Zabuza: yeeeah Sasori: Hell fucking rocks. Deidara: OMGSPARKLERYAY!! YEAH!!! -sets them all off at once.-the room is one big explosionLast chapter! No way! I'll miss all of you guys! To Haku, where were you and Zabuza before you got summoned to the room? Sasuke how did you get pulled down the path of sluttiness, especially when you had Shikamaru! While am at it how did you get there Neji? Jiraiya why do you pick Orochiamaru over Tsunade, she's so much cooler. Lucifel: And well miss you!!

Sakura: Dammit Deidara!! Everything is in ruins!! Zakura: ...the hell it is-hugs HinataHaku: We were in heavenand I might be there again Deidara: Oh, calm down guys, it was just a few sparklers, yeah. Tsunade: -glowersJiraiya: What your issue? I think the singed top is a nice look for you. Tsunade: dont start with me mister. Sasuke: its SEX. Its the most tempting thing in the world! It happens to everyone. Shikamaru: Everyone being you, the akatsuki, Oro and Neji? Sasuke: yes? Neji: I wanted attention and acknowledgement. Kiba: Gaaaaay. Neji: -rolls eyesJiraiya: WellI dunno. Tsunades violent without much cause and Oros justsexy. Anywho, were all together now so Tsunade: --so youre still a jerk. Jiraiya: eh. Maybe. Sasuke: i turn you into a girl again Naruto: what you said to sasuke was nice Everyone gets a christmas present (its whatever you want thats in reason) Undinedemon Sasuke: NO!! no dammit! Sakura: What would a sing-off of Ask Sakura be without gender changing? Sasuke: -sulkNaruto: that and you deserve whatever happens to you.

Sasuke: thanks for hating me. Naruto: Youre welcome emo-kid. Oh, and thanks, undine! Kisame: Hey, this shrimpy kid is really annoying mecan I kill him? I mean, hes not a part of Naruto so Ed: Im NOT SHRIMPY!!!! YOURE SHRIMPY!! YOU FREAKY FISH MAN!! Sakura: Noooo. Kisame: Dammit. Deidara: MORE FIREWORKS YEAH!! Sakura: Oh god -and more fireworks there wereKisame: -throws Ed in the way of a FireworkEd: NO!! jumps on firework and starts riding it around the room, trying to kill things as he goesZabuza: -tripEd: ACK! splats into a wall-Being the last chapter, he grins -quite- largely, slips Lucifiel into his lap, petting her sides is a delicious way- Mind if I help out this chapter, my love? Sasuke: Goddamn you! Now I can't torture you, since you've lost Sakura, and Shika forgave you. *Grumbles, dropping his horrible bag of -doom- next to Kyuubi* Here, you have fun with it. Hinata: Hinata. Zakura loves you, truely. She may seem roguh, but for you, she is shy, and gentle, and sweet. I would go to her. Or at least tell your crush you like him. It's terrible seeing you in any sort of pain. Lee: Good point. And don't forget, we meet to do training once you get out! YOUTHFUL TRAINING! YOUTH! YOSH! P.S. *Tosses an exact clone of himself in and all the other guests that were considered hot* Lucifel: dont you always? Im gonna miss our fanfic PDA. kissSasuke: Trust me, Im tortured Deidara: Oooh! I wanna do your hair yeah! And put you in dresses, yeah!

Kyuubi; Bag of doom huh-sticks head in- whats this? LOUD BANG AND LOTSA SMOKEKyuubi: -as smoke clears- Im back baby!!! Deidara: Wheee! Youre naked yeah!! Kyuubi: Yeah. smirk- Its a perk. tosses another potion at EdEd: -is become chibi- what?! NOO!!! Kyuubi: How do you like it? Ed: I deal with it all the time! Screw you! Kyuubi: -chuckles- My bad. Hinata: -blush- Yes, Zakura is very nice. Zakura: -hugging Hinata tightly- mine. Kurenai: I know she wants that butmy instincts Kiba: I knowdamn. Naruto: Soshe DID have a crush on me right? Kiba: Your fault dude. You didnt go for it soon enough. Naruto: dammit Lee; YES!! YOU NO THAT THERE IS NO EVIL IN YOUTH!!! WE SHALL TRAIN UNITL MOUNTAINS CANNOT STOP US!! YOOOOOSH!! Gaara: -to the smirking Kimi- dont say anythingjust.dont say a thing. Kimimaro: Whatever would I say anything about? snickersnortZakura: hot guests? Ayame and Anko, right? Ayame: HellooooOH! A MAKEOVER!! Sasuke: You get away from me!!

Ayame: My, my, we need to makeover your attitude too. Sasuke: I hate you already. Ita/Oro/Dei: AYAME!!! hugsAnko: Sup my lovely ladies? Zakura: Hi. Hinata: H-hello Kurenai: Go awaaaay Lucifel: -pulls Jadens clone into the poll room with herAnko: whats this? turning to Zakura and Hinata- You two an item now? Zakura: Kind ofwere just cuddling. Hinata: -smileblushAnko: Fair enough. But, if thats how it is, Ive got nothing to do hereIll be getting back to Temari Gaara: -shock and horrorKankuro: -drool and lustAyame: Kya! These ribbons are perfect for you! Fantastical XD I shall go set up the scanner now... you defently deserve to see the pictures Helen-chan managed to come up with. BUT! I have thought of a genuine question... how often does that happen? ... no thats not the question >< Lucifel: Waitsoyours wasnt the Halloween artwhat art were you giving me? I are confuseI need to keep my fans straight. (and I usually do such a good job too!!) Naruto Well thenwhat WAS the question? Lucifel: you can see it later. Naruto: So the point of putting this up was?

Lucifel: He-Yans awesome. ^_^ -rolls on the floor- Oh that was so funny! GO KYUUBI! Sorry Lucifel :3 And I want meh monkey. Captain who-was-he-again is threatening to kill me if I don't get it back.. -glances over shoulder nervouslyCaptain who-was-he-again: ARR, I WANT ME MONKEY BACK! ED! How ya doing? -kisses passionately- Did you miss me? I sure missed you! -laughs evilly and lightning flashes in the backgroundHinata: W-where is the monkey? Zakura: Hell if I know. I think we ate him. Akamaru: -burpEd: NOOO! FANGIRLS!!! Sasuke: Lord Sasuke! Glad to see you. Did you know that a robot version of you was here lots of chapters back? Sakura: CONGRATS on getting together with Kabuto! FINALLY! But will you still let Sasuke be a friend at least? Kabuto: Take good care of Sakura! (Gives him high-powered Laptop) Itachi: ...Farewell. See ya next ask fic. For the final time, Catch you next continue! And have a Happy New Year! (Tosses in Apple Cider) Sasuke: W-what? Orochimaru: It was AWESOME!! shiny eyesSasuke: ho goddid you guys molest it? Ayame: Of course! Youre the most molest-able little child EVER! continues brushing his hair happilyItachi: God I missed you. Ayame: I knowOH! That reminds me! I made you a dress! hand him a Chinese-style akatsuki-print dress- I thought it suited y Itachi: KYAAAA! rips from his hands and puts it on- Im so sexy!! Ayame: Teehee, yes. Sakura: well, maybe. Once hes good and humiliated.

Sasuke: and Im NOT now?! Sakura: Honey, you werent even here for the first chapters. You OWE. Sasuke: -grumbleKabuto: Right, cuz I want something to distract me from Sakura. throws laptop aside and tackles SakuraItachi: sometimes it sucks to be so popularoh well! At least Im gay and pervy in most of them!! Sakura: Yknow, some people would Itachi: Am I some people? Sakura: Wellno Itachi: then shut the fuck up. OOH!! Nostalgia tinglies Zakura: APPLE CIDER!! WOO!! GET THE VODKA!! Hinata: I dont want any vodka in mine Zakura: honey, I never thought for a second you would. Everyone get a cup, however you want it. Well use it for the New Years toast. Ichimaruka: Happy Holidays everyone! Anyway, we have presents for our favorite charaters Orochiko: No duh Kimimaro- Here's some boba milk tea. I think Kabuto was stupid for picking Sakura over you, really you are a better choice. Kabuto- Here's some more corpses to refresh you're supply. We are so proud of you, evolving so much. From getting over Orchimaru the old fart to our lovely Sakura. Neji- I suggest you devote yourself to protecting Hinata, that way you won't be distracted by others. Shikamaru- Here's a La-Z-Boy have fun with it. Glad you dumped Sasuke, give Chouji a chance ok he's awsome. (Orochiko: hehe squishy) Deidara- (Orochiko: Here's some special fireworks and rockets hehehe have fun) Kiba-sama- Gourmet dog shaped snacks. Orochimaru--double glomp- hello. Zabuza- here's a book, it will be useful. Take care of Haku Haku- Strawberry Pocky. Take care of yourself buddy -hugglesThank you for this fic Angel Lucifel, we enjoyed it. Happy Holidays, heres some cyber

cookies. -Ichimaruka and Orochiko Everyone: PRESENTS!!! Sakura: Because you havent got enough yet!! Orochimaru: Hell no! never! Kimimaro: Ohthanks and thanks? Kabuto: -embarrassed blushingKabuto: OOO!! Corpses!!! Sakura: -looking at him in disgustKabuto: Corpses that I will never use-innocent smile as he pushes them under a tableSakura: -sigh- its ok. I know youre creepy. Kabuto: Youre awesome. Neji: THATS IT!! I can defend Hinata! Kurenai: Shes already like completely protected. Neji: Not always! I can watch her at home! No one else can do that! Kurenai: ahahahaha, yeah right. Shes protected. Trust me. Neji: Wellgodammit. Shikamaru: -lounges in LaZboywith Ino and Choji curled with himKiba; how do they all fit? Shino: Theyre the kind of friends that dont know what personal space iseww. Kiba: I RAPE your personal space. Shino: -rolls eyes- mature. Kiba: thanks.

Deidara: YYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!! -FIREWORKSZakura: I swear to god! One more time!! Hinata: -kisses her cheekZakura: -melts againShino: If you eat those Kiba, Im not kissing you. Kiba: Awww. gives to AkamaruOrochimaru: Er, hi? Zabuza: -throws book aside- the hell it will be. Haku: Whats thekama sutra? Zabuza: Gimme that. Haku: K! I has Pocky!! devoursZabuza: -patsLucifel: Yay! Youre welcome! CYBER COOKIES!!! So...this is it huh? Man ima miss you guys so much T_T Seriously i luvs u all (attempts to hug everyone) And yes Manda we where serious, sry but ur to fucking awesome to go without a fanclub woo! Thnx for disposing of the pathetic sniveling worm I call my little brother! Now if only I could dispose of the rest of the fam...(coughs) ANYWHIZZLE! Here are the last awesome fraps from me... (crys) THIS IS SO SAD! (Raina) Damn, u r just to emotional... I really couldnt care (crawls to emo corner) (Kekaiyou) Eh...im with her (joins emoness) (me) What will you all do once your free? Ok, well bye everyone T_T I will miss u all even tho most of u will be happy to see the psycho that is me leave. (hands out christmass cookies) Happy holidays and have a screwed up new year! Manda: thanks. Whatever.

Ita/Gaa: FRAPS!! Gaara: -GASP- What if.what if these are our last fraps? Itachi: we must find a way to bring the joy of fraps to ninja-dom. Gaara: Indeed. -serious ponderingSakura: Well probably all just go back to normal Itachi: Who GIVES a flying fuck about when were free? this is about being captured and LOVING IT!!! Ayame: Kyaaa! Yess!! Sakura: -smiles- true Ed: Since the fuck when?! CHRISTMAS COOKIES YAY!! To Ed; Are you and Roy married now? Or at least together? Sasuke, (hi btw) who were your best and worst lays. Shino, so you like spiders and scorpions too, or just bugs? I give Kiba the watery, firey, earthy, and windy Kards, and the book of Klow. I change Gaara's tattoo to a red heart. Lee gets a shamrock in the same place. Naruto, how do you honestly feel about Kyuubi now? Kyuubi, did you get anything positive from your time with naruto and Yondaimei? Ed: No. Eww. Not married. Just togetherkind of looselyits complicated. Ayame: Dont let him mess with your heart! Demand devotion! Ed: But I like kissing Winry on the side Ayame: Oh, well, then never mind. Sasuke: BestShikamarudefinitely. And worst would have to beeh, Kankuro. I wasnt entirely expecting it so Kankuro: so that DID happen! I wasnt sureI was muffins at the time

Shikamaru: -shakes headShino: Not as much, but yeah. Kiba: And Im your fave right? Shino: haha, suuure. Kiba: Youre mean. gasp- KARDS!! -seals quickly- yayayayayayyay!!!!! I can totally dominate with this now!! Shino: Its the only book youll ever properly use. Kiba: heeeyyeah thats true Gaara: you just fucked with my identityyou have the honor of being the last person on the list Lee: Aww! Thats so cute! I love it! It is very youthful! big hugGaara: you got lucky Lee: Look! We match!! Gaara: -smile- yeah Naruto: I dont ever want him back? Zakura: AHEM. Naruto: FINE. And he makes a cute Chibi. Kyuubi: Unless you count blue balls and bruised pride among positive thingsno. Zakura do other "inner people" exist and where can I get one? good bye I love you all! Zakura: If they do, I dont know about them. Sakura: Naw, Im special. Most people just have demons and stuff Zakura: anyway, how you get something close to one is through a series of mental trauma that forces your brain to split into many personalities. Go you. Lucifel: bye!! They love you too! Really!!

Kisame-'Super Fish' you look like a fish yet you talk and walk. Can you breathe under water? Zabuza- I figured you're skin was gray from malnourishment or something. You almost look a bit of a grayish brown. Deidara the flash back was creepy and i'll be having nightmares. And how did you see him as an armadillo? here are gifts. Frap machine, pool filled with chocolate. Kisame: I answered this before, but yeah. Its another bit of the jutsus Ive got. Ayame: kinky. Kisame: aww, yeah. Zabuza: No, its normal. Im plenty nourished. nibbles Hakus earHaku: Teehee, youre tickling me. Zabuza: thats the idea. Deidara: Cuz of his puppet form, yeah! Totally armadillo, yeah!! Ayame: Yeah! I agree! Sasori: Youve never even SEEN it. glowerAyame: Sooo? Gaara: I will keep this always! And Suna shall have fraps! FRAPS I SAY!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!! Lee: -shakes head- sometimes I wonder how I could love you so much. Kimimaro: -has a laughter fitGaara: -glaresKurenai: If anyone needs me Ill be bathing in chocolate Zaku/Jira: -nosebleedHinata: Kyaaa! Youre nose! Zakura: Ill be fine

Okay, one thing has bothered me about the portrayal of yaoi couples throughout fanfiction... Except for Orochimura, who I am sure in all his knowledge would know the term. ... and maybe Neji. DON'T YOU All KNOW WHAT A FLIP-FLOP SESSION IS? Sheesh... Itachi: wheres the fun in THAT?! Orochimaru: Yeah! Its all about asserting your position!! Neji: I would have if anyone let me Sasuke: I wanted to, but Shikamaru was too lazy most of the timeor, you know, overly enthused. Shikamaru: -blushHaku, I give you a LOL cat. Orochimaru-sama, how much candy or slurpie do you have to eat/drink to Turn your tongue a different color? -throws in Hao's pants, because they ruleLolcat: Oh, Hi. I are just crashing your new yearscarry on. Haku: FLUFFY!! Lolcat: why you do this? Orochimaru: A LOT. Jira and Tsunade dared me to try one time when I was youngerI didnt crash for three daysthree glorious days Jiraiya: And his tongue was blue for about a week. Kyuubi: GIMME THOSE!! Naruto: Gladly. Ayame: But theyre so AWESOME. Kyuubi: they have ULTIMATE power!! Hao only got his power from his pants you knowmuwahahahahahaha Yondaime: Yes, you are wearing incredibly imposing capris. Kyuubi: damn short kids Lolcat: I can has new year? Zakura: LAST TEN SECONDS!!!

10!! -kurenai dives into pool, laughing manically9!!! -Ayame unveils his triumph that is the incredibly powdered and glossed Sasuke8!!! -Kiba steals a dog treat7!! -Zabuza looses his patience and tackles Haku to the ground6!! -Ed tries to sneak attack Kisame and has an epic fail5!! -Sasuke desperately tries to tear off the makeover, much to Ayames dismay4!!! -Eds epic fail sends him flying into a pile of saved fireworks3!! -Deidara and Ayame force Sasuke to keep the makeover2!! -Ed tries to transmute something to kill Kisame1!!! -the spark from his transmutation light the fireworks and a massive display goes up through the suddenly open roofHAPPY NEW YEAR!!! -under the fireworks, everyone raises their glasses in a toast and start kissing and hugging and laughing and celebrating. Zakura almost faints after a sweet kiss from Hinata. Shino

punches Kiba at the taste of dog treats, the sannin are all kissing at once, Naruto and Yondaime are hugging, Itachi is eating Sasukes face. And right in the middle of it all Sakura and Kabuto are have a kiss of epic proportions. Its all pretty awesome.Zakura: Ok, well, now were going to everyones last questions. Each of our main cast will answer one last question, selected by Lucifel, and then be sent on their way. Koda, Lolcat and Ayame have gotta leave now. Ayame: Bye bye!! Lovely seeing you all! Lolcat: Kthnxbai. -They goEd: What about ME?! Zakura: Calm down, well get to you. Ed: -grumble, sitZakura: Alrighty. Youre al gonna leave in order of appearance. Sasuke. You go first. Kiba: That is SO not fair. puts on mocking voice- you guys have been here for almost a year more and so you have to leave last, blah blah blah. sighZakura: The last reviews were all given by reviewers (some asked specifically) and their names are signed under their reviews. Lucifel: Many thanks to the guys that helped out when I asked! And especially Kohaku who filled in the missing pieces!! SASUKE Sasuke: Yeah, sorry about the last very fangirlish review... I was REEALLY high on something... Cough... Was the decicion to leave Konoha hard, or were you certain that you'd do it? And are you scared to return to Konoha, now that you have betrayed it once? -MoonIdiot Sasuke: Its cool. Im used to fangirls, trust me. Andyes, I was certain I would do it. My whole LIFE is hard so one more tough spot wasnt that bad. Besides, I knew I had Shikamaru backing me. Kiba: -snicker- is that what theyre calling it now? Sasuke: So, yeah, Im nervous as to what will happen when I come back. But hey, Im a major character, Im sure Ill be forgiven and let go.

Tsunade: AHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah RIGHT!! Sasuke: dammit. Zakura: Ok then. -A door appears with Sasukes name on itZakura: You can go. Sasuke: -nods, turns to Shikamaru- I really am sorry. Ill make it up to you. Just wait and see. Shikamaru: maybe. I wont hold my breathgood luck with whatever you do. Sasuke: -sighs, hugs Naruto quickly and leaves0Ino: that jerk!! Didnt even say goodbye to me!! Itachi: And what about me!!! Orochimaru: Im his freaking MENTOR!! Itachi: Yeah, hell see you again at the end of this chapter. Orochimaru: Oh yeahyay!! Zakura: Choji. Youre turn. Choji: Do I haaaaave too? cuddles closer to ShikamaruZakura: yes, you lazy bum. Choji: Hey! Thats Shika!! Shikamaru: Word. CHOUJI: Chouji, This is a hard on, what makes a perfect pizza? -Kohaku Kawa Choji: ooooh, that IS a hard on Sakura: You know what she meant!!!

Choji: anyway. The perfect pizza would have to be...pepperoni, sausage, black olives, peppers, pineapple, jalepenos, ham Ino: the perfect Pizza as a WHOLE, not what you like on a pizza. Choji: this IS one pizzaok, and you need some squid, extra cheese and dash of pepper. Shikamaru: I have actually seen him eat this. Choji: Oh, and you gotta have garlic-butter dipping sauce!! Shikamaru: -nods-Door with Chojis name appearsChoji: Awww man. Ok. Im craving that pizza now anyway gets up, hugs Shika and Ino and leavesZakura: INO!! Ino: Ack!! What?! Zakura: youre gonobody liked you enough to review for you very much, so you just get a nice well-wishing from Moon INO: Ino: I hope you become a strong not very fangirlish kunoichi... And take care of Shika and Chouji ^^ Ino: Aww, thanks! Ill do my best! Itachi: I love it when fangirls hate fangirlslolz Ino: And of course! Shikamaru and Choji are like my brothers!! Shikamaru: But youveasked me out Ino: erits just incest right? Itachi: HELL YEAH!! -door with Inos name appearsIno: Ok leaving nowoh! Real quick! Sakura! Im so proud of you sticking up for yourself like that! Cant wait to hang with you again when you get back! leaves-

Sakura: eh? Ooook Zakura: hehe, cute. Ok, Yon? Naruto: Nooooo!!! Yondaime: Its ok, Naruto. At least we got to see each other for a little bit right? Naruto: -whimper sniffYONDAIME: Yondaime- If you had no child during the attack what would you do? -Lyon Ryushi Yondaime: I dont know, really. It was kind of a panicked decisionI probably would have ended up sealing him within someone else, whoever came to mind. Kyuubi: They probably couldnt have handled me. Your kid is a special breed. Naruto: Strong?! Kyuubi: Lucky. Naruto: awww Yondaime: And strong. Im proud of you. hugs-Yondaimes door appearsYondaime: All right thenOh, Jiraiya? Jiraiya: yah? Yondaime: Thanks for looking after him. Jiraiya: -thumbs up- of course. Yondaime: -smiles and leavesZakura: akamaru, youre turn. Kiba: WHAT?! You cant take him from me again!! Zakura: Itll be like two seconds, calm down. AKAMARU:

Akamaru: If you weren't a dog, what would you be? -Avatarjk137 Akamaru: bark, yap arf!!! Dead! I would rather be dead than any other creature! For dogs are the noblest of all beings!!Kiba: What about humans? Akamaru: arf? come on, now, really?Kiba: Okfair enough -doggie door appearsAkamaru: yap!! see you!!- -leavesZakura: Tsunade, you get a couple from Hilarious Tragedy. Tsunade: What? Im leaving already? Zakura: Yeah, funny how fast it goes, eh? Tsunade: holy crap TSUNADE: why a purple diamond on your forehead? whats with the purple? orochimaru has purple bows, you have a purple diamond. what? does jiraiya have purple socks or underwear or something? who would be your ideal soulmate? -HT Tsunade: ErI dont really know how that started Orochimaru: Jiraiya has purple toenails! Its kind of icky Jiraiya: I do NOT!!! Tsunade: I know we used to make fun of Oro for his purple obsession Orochimaru: teehee. Tsunade: I dont know if you can have an ideal soulmate cuz I dont think its something you pick. sideglance at Jiraiya who is surprisingly looking back with a smile, so she continues, while blushing- But in a man I definitely looks for someone who brings the woman out of me. Someone who wont stand to be bossed around. And I actually think I might not be able to.

Jiraiya: haha, so no one? Tsunade: Pretty much Orochimaru: -GLOMPTsunade: WTF?! Orochimaru: Ill miss you!! This was so much fun!! Tsunade: Im gonna have to get used to serious you again Orochimaru: You all will. Jiraiya: -hugs too- See you soon, right Tsu? Tsunade: Yeahthis has really been fun. Jiraiya: It has. kisses cheekTsunade: -punches- see you later. -her door appears and she leavesZakura: ok fishman! Anyway, you all know who you are, Im gonna snuggle Hinata some more-cuddlesHinata: hee. blushKISAME: Kisame, poor under looked Kisame, how will you get revenge for being so ignored? -Kohaku Kawa Kisame: Eh, I dont really mind. Sharks do that. You never know where we are, and then the scary music kicks in a BAM were on your ass like nothing else!! Sasori: or in Kisame: that too. Anyway, Sasori and Manda were ignored more! Sasori: thank god. Manda: I napped most of the time.

Kisame: fine, whatever. Itachi, see you when you get back. winkItachi: eheheyeah -Kisames door appearsKisame: -kisses Itachi violently and leavesKYUUBI: KJ: ...sorry.. Anywaffle, I have a question for Kyuubi: What's it like to be small and adorable? x) *pets* -Schism Kyuubi: I. Will. Kill. EVERY. Fangirl. Ever. I hate you all. Naruto: Aww but they wuuuuuv you!! Kyuubi: Fuck you. -Massive swirly demonic portal appearsKyuubi: I aint leaving. Naruto: Whu? Zakura: Excuse me? Kyuubi: I am still all powerful here! AND I have the pants! I will not be told when I can or cant leave! Fuck you guys! Zakura: Fine, but at least answer the question. Kyuubi: I hate it. Its fluffy. Fuck you. Itachi: Careful theyll take you up on it. Kiba: If Neji was still normal youd really be screwedor screwing Neji: Oh come ON. Even once I change! Kiba: damn right. SASORI: Sasori: I dare you to make the greatest, ultimate puppet, of such power and feroicity, not even stitch, that can defeat Kyuubi, could defeat it. -Emperor Jaden

Sasori: heh, deal. steals Kabutos corpse pileKabuto: HEY!! Ierwas gonnabury those? Sakura: Its really ok. Im aware of how weird you are. Kabuto: oh coolHEY! YOU CANT LEAVE! THOSE ARE MINE!! \\ Sasori: Yes I can. -Sasori door appearsSasori: Ill find you later Kyuubi. Kyuubi: Ha, right, good luck. Sasori: I dont need it. leavesKyuubi: isnt he dead? Deidara: Hell manage, yeah. MANDA: Manda what is the tastiest thing you ever eated? -Kohaku Kawa Manda: Nothing. For there is nothing I have eated only things I have eaten. You fail tremendously. Orochimaru: Come onnn, Manda! Manda: Eugh, fine. I ate a blue dragon once. It went down quite smoothly. It was tasty. Now if youll excuse me Kiba: RETURN TO THE FORM YOU WERE MEANT TO HAVE!!!! re-seals Manda into a cardOrochimaru: thatd my SUMMON you little brat! Kiba: Its my kard now, beotch!! Shino: -facepalmsDEIDARA: Dei-chan, what is your favorite school subject?

-Kohaku Kawa Itachi: Did you even go to school? Deidara: Oh yes. For several years, yeah. Orochimaru: Soo? Deidara: I hated it all equally, yeah. I blew it up, yeah. Itachi: Thats my man. hugsDeidara: -bites Itachis ass with his handItachi: Yow! Deidara: Just had to say goodbye properly, yeah. -deidaras door appearsDeidara: I dunno if Im dead or not, yeah, but I hope to see you all soon, yeah! leavesHINATA: Hinata: Since it's the final chapter, why don't you go on ahead and give Zakura a smooch? PLEASE? -The former Prince of DDR Zakura: noooooo Sakura: Hey, theyre your rules. Play by them. Hinata: -kisses Zakura very nicely on the mouthZakura: hrgm Hinata: Uh, byeit was really nice to meet you -Hinatas door appearsZakura: grgyeah Hinata: -blushes and leavesKANKURO:

Kankuro: a cupcake is essential a perversion of a muffin. What effects do cupcakes have on you? (gives cupcake to test) -avatarjk137 Kankuro: They knock me right the fuck out. Theyre disgusting. Little sick fucked up versions of muffins. Gaara: -shoves cupcake into his mouthKankuro: -goes unconcisous-Kankuros door appearsGaara: -throws Kankuro through it- yes! Hes gone! Lee: youre a mean brother. Gaara: My brother is KANKURO. What do you expect? Lee: this is a good point. LEE: Lee:...Why do you say youthfull alot? And have you ever called gaara a panda? -Inner Sakura Haruno Gaara: NOO!!!! Lee: Because! Youth is my life! And I must declare it for all to hear!! Gaara: -clings onto LeeLee: And no, I never have. Although he is very cuddly much like one. Gaara: -grr- mine. -Lees door appearsLee: Gaara, I must go! Gaara: no! What if were not together anymore? I dont want to loose you Lee! Lee: GaaraI loved you even before I came here. I may have to re-learn that butI AM yours. I promise. In the name of youth, I swear it. Gaara: -kisses- All right.

Lee: Now! I go to make a dojo!! YOOOOOOSH!!!!!! leavesKIMIMARO Kimimaro: in the anime it seems that all others in your clan looked very simular. Was one of your parents from outside the clan or did they specifically engineer you? Since you are going back to the after life, you will probably be taking all your memories with you... if you could erase one memory of this room from someone else -- who would it be and what memory? -Kazster Kimimaro: Ah wellwhat I think it was, was a backup of recessive genes, and then for some reason they popped out when I was born. Orochimaru: also, the artists were lazy. I mean, he was a one-story-arc character. Kimimaro: Thanks, rub it in. Anyway, I dont believe in getting rid of memories. Even the most painful ones are importantalthough shirtless Jiraiya is something I would rather not recall. Kabuto: Kimibefore you goIm sorry. Really I am. I never Kimimaro: -puts a finger on Kabutos mouth- Shh, dont worry. I know. I think youd just mess it up if you tried to put it into words. Kabuto: Heh, youre probably right. Kimimaro: Thank you. For getting me back and everythingthis has been awesome. Zakura: Dont forget you have a potion to drink. Kimimaro: I do? Oh yeahmy emerald green oneha, whatve I got to loose? drinksOwowowowoww.WTF?! Zakura: well, you did just re-grow a body. Kimimaro: what? Zakura: Yeah, you get to survive. The potion was a limitless resurrection potion. Kimimaro: So Zakura: You cant interact with any of the characters until the big story is over, but you get to go have a happy life. Do whatever you want. Once the show ends you can even go see them all. Kimimaro: oh my god-tears up- I canI can have my own life.

Gaara: -hugs- Im so happy for you Kimi. Kimimaro: -hugs backGaara: Come see me when its all over? Kimimaro: For sure. Kabuto: Good luck Kimi. Kimimaro: -nods-Kimis door appearsKimimaro: -leavesZakura: Well, that was touching moving on. NEJI: Neji: *Tosses in the person you love the most, if they're not already there, and in a relationship, and if so, throws in the person not in a relationship that he loves the most* I dare you to kiss this person, and tell them you love them. Best of luck. -Emperor Jaden -clone of Neji is tossed inNeji: Wellthis is awkward. Kiba: Youre one self-centered prick. Neji: OH shush you. Neji Clone: Damn Im sexy!! Neji: I dont even really love me, its justeveryones in a relationshipcan I just go? Zakura: sure. -Nejis door appearsNeji: -dragging his clone- come on Kiba: Hey, Neji? Neji: What?

Kiba: -puts hand on shoulder- Good luck man. Im proud of you. Neji: Thankssee you around. leavesShino: That was mature of you. Kiba: Yeah, I taped a kick me sign to his back. Haha! Naruto: NICE!! High fivesNARUTO: Naruto: Who do you consider your greatest competition for the position of Hokage and why? And if you could easily have them removed, would you keep those whisker marks? They do make you look distinctive. -avatarjk137 Naruto: hmmmmaybe Lee! He has all the drive, and hes all about protecting people, not getting the power, you know? Its pretty cool. Kabuto: Wow, Sakura, two of the men who used to like you up for Hokage, looks like you missed your big chance. Sakura: Ahahahaha, riiiight. Im so sad I didnt go out with them when I the chance. Nah, I prefer my men creepy and rebellious. kissNaruto: So, if Im leaving does Kyuubi have to come with? Kyuubi: FUCK no!! Im staying as long as I damn well please. Naruto: YIPPEE!! Kyuubi: Yeah, go ahead, enjoy yourself, Ill be kicking back and relaxing however I damn well please. -Narutos door appearsNaruto: Whatever! Bye Sakura! Bye everyone!! Oh! Real quick! runs up, kisses Hakus cheek and then dives through the door dodging Zabuzas swingSHIKAMARU: Shikamaru, If you say my name I cease to exist. What am I? -Kohaku Kawa Shikamaru: Hopefully you

Itachi: Yeaaahif ONLY that applied to fangirls Shikamaru: -sits and thinks-stiiiiiill thinkingKiba: So, can we move on or--? Zakura: nope, gotta go in order. Shikamaru: Guys, quiet. I need silence -Shikamarus door appearsShikamaru: No! I havent figure it out yoh. I see. Kiba: I dont. Shikamaru: The answer. Its silence. nods- I actually approve of that riddle. leavesKiba: what? No good bye or nothing? Shino: Its SHIKAMARU. Kiba; yeah. ZABUZA: Zabuza - What would you do without Haku? Is there anyone else you've ever shown a liking for? Apart from your sword... -HeYan Zabuza: I aint leaving without Haku. Zakura: Fine! You can leave at the same time. Zabuza: Good. Yes, before I met Haku I had a few lovers but NONE ever meant as much to me as he does. Without HakuId probably die of heart-sickness Haku: Oh darling HAKU: Haku, how do you think your married life will be once you return to the Afterlife? -Kryah

Haku: Well, Im sure itd be fun butKohaku Kawa gave us a mountain retreat! Thats where were headed! Zabuza: I forgot about thatI was kind of looking forward to the rest. Haku: Its a mountain retreat! You can relax all you want! We should invite Kimi!! Zabuza: oh god Zakura: Same rules, you guys are hermits until the shows over. Haku: Awwwall right. Good bye everyone! I had so much fun!! Zabuza: whatever -They both leaveKURENAI Kurenai: You like are pretty much the only normal person here, you're also really nice to your little students; but I wanna ask...WHY ASUMA?! WHY NOT KAKASHI?! WHY?! -Dolly2000 Kurenai: Kakashi is a perv. And the real answer isKhellen Rafe. Kiba: Huh? Kurenai: I pick that man over ANYbody. Kiba: even Gai? Kurenai: Oh HELL yeah. Kiba: Theres a silver lining Kurenai: In fact, Ive gotta go take him up on his offer -her door appearsKurenai: You guys only have a little bit left, behave all right? Everyone: yes maam. Kurenai: good. Oh, and for traditions sake. smacks Jiraiya with a skillet and leavesJiraiya: Owww

JIRAIYA: Jiraiya, describe your perfect date. -Kohaku Kawa Jiraiya: anything not involving a skillet? Zakura: that it? Jiraiya: Hey, the shorter the date, the sooner the sex. So, sake and hot springs it is. Orochimaru: Aww, I guess this mean our fun is overit was nice, ne? Jiraiya: YeahIll miss you Oro. I always have. Orochimaru: Im sure well meet again somewhere. In another fic Jiraiya: -chuckles- yeah -his door appearsOrochimaru: You should get with Tsunade, she really likes you. Jiraiya: Its complicatedwell see. Bye Oro. I wish it couldve lasted. kissesOrochimaru: -kisses backJiraiya: -quickly leavesGAARA: being the kage of Suna is hard work. Who, if anyone, do you trust to help? Which one person would you come back from the grave to stop them being the Kazikage? -Kazster Gaara: My siblings. and the other answer is also my siblings. I enjoy their support, and really need it, and Temari is good with paperwork and Kankuro is good with defense plans, but dear god if either one got full control of the reins-shudders- the horrors. Orochimaru: NOOOO!! Our little sand-kage is leaving? How will we make do without you?! Gaara: Im sure youll manageanyway -his door appearsGaara: -sighs- I have had fun. Orochimaru: Well miss you.

Itachi: Ill think of you everytime I drink a frap! hugsGaara: yeah...okwell, I should probably go! Bye now! leavesSakura: He was in a weird sort of hurry Kabuto: Er, why is his gourd left here? Itachi: and where did the frap machineoh god -meanwhile in SunaGaara: And Suna shall be ruled by he who holds the fraps!!! MUWAHAHAHA!! hey! Temari! WTF did you to my office? Temari: decorated? Gaara: With empty sake bottles and pizza boxes?! Temari: yes? Gaara: -sighSHINO Shino: Can I PLEASE come?!?! I promise I won't be fan-like! And doesn't it feel weird to have bugs inside you? -MoonIdiot Shino: God, for the last time, NO. No fans at or wedding. -Shinos door appearsShino: Kiba, Ill be waiting for you at home. Bye honey. kisses- Anyone else Ill either see shortly or dont care to see again. leavesOrochimaru: bitch. Kyuubi: Just wait kidjuuust wait. KIBA: Kiba: Can I come to your wedding, if I promise not to take pictures or be fan-like? And good luck with Shino! -MoonIdiot Kiba: Yeah, sure. I dont see why not.

Sakura: Uhhhdidnt Shino? Kiba: Aww, hell warm up to the idea. Kabuto: Yeah, sure. Well, have fun trying not to let your marriage fall apart. Kiba: Are you kidding? I will ROCK the married world!! WHOO!! Sakura: Suuureok. Zakura: Ok, get out of here. Kiba: Yep! See ya! -Kibas door appears and he bounds on throughOrochimaru, Kabuto, Itachi and Sakura all stand together quietly. Sakura: this is really the original gang huh? Orochimaru: The core of the story Itachi: -sniffleKyuubi: -GAG- Ill be hanging with Lucy if you all need me. goes to the poll roomOrochimaru: this is probably the last plain-old good time Im ever gonna have Itachi: this is the first good time Ive had in years Kabuto: -holds Sakuras hand tightlySakura: You guys have really pulled this story through Kabuto: the four of us have. -there is a moment where more should be said, and then they all gather into one more group hugSakura: Ill ever forget this. Orochimaru; We probably will, but I love it anyway. Itachi: yeah

Kabuto: Itachi? Itachi: yes? Kabuto: I always thought your incest jokes were funny Itachi: Oh Kabuto!! I never thought being a nerd was such a bad thing! Orochimaru: I love you guys!!! -more huggingSakura: Is anyone else feeling a little nauseas? Itachi: Yeah -they all back upOrochimaru: -ahem- wellanyway Itachi: Yeah, anyway Sakura: Last questions right? Zakura: why dont the three guys go at once? Guys: Cool. ITACHI Itachi-san: My friends always make fun of me for adoring you so much... If I become your brother, could we have awesome incest times?! -gives another frap-Snow Gaara OROCHIMARU: Orochimaru if you were doing everything over would you change anything? -firefli KABUTO: Kabuto, if you had one rule-breaking, all-powerful wish, what would it be? -Kryah Itachi: Best. Reviewer. Ever. Kid, if you find a way to become Uchiha I PROMISE you all the incest your little heart could ever want!! Kabuto: You know, that does actually make me a little sick

Itachi: The best humor always does!! Orochimaru: How come the sannin all get deep questions? Kabuto: A perfect date is a deep question? Orochimaru: shush you. Okyes. When I was younger, I would have told Jiraiya how I felt. Because then when I leftI think I could have given him more closure. Somehow. Itachi: You dont make sense! Orochimaru: The harder the heart break, the less you want to re-visit itI wish hed have moved on better. Itachi: -pat, patOrochimaru: Annnnyway. Kabuto? Kabuto: that I had been with Sakura longer. And that we would stay together after this, Sakura: -hugs him long and hard- me too Oro/Ita: -go to the corner politelyKabuto: SakuraI love you. I wont everI meansomewhere inside me I always will love you. Sakura: I know, me tooI love you tooalways. -they hug some moreSakura: -sniffle- I love you. Kabuto: I know. Ill think of you every springwhen the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. Sakura: Ill think of you every time Im at a morgue!! -Hug-the guys doors appearKabuto: I think thats my cue Itachi: Sakura! Thanks! Its been fun! I would say Im sorry for making for of you

Orochimaru: But were not. Sakura: See ya later you ass holes. Itachi: Orochimaru, maybe we shall meet again and shag once more? Orochimaru: I hope so. -pervert hugging!!Itachi: -grabs some frapsOrochimaru: -grabs some nail polishIta/Oro: -leaveKabuto: Sakura; nothing more to say is there? Kabuto: I wish there was something to hold back time Sakura: Now youre getting sappy. Shoo. Get out of here. Kabuto: I love you. Sakura: I know. I love you too. Kabuto: -turns to goSakura: -turns awayKabuto: -pauses, runs back, scoops her up in his arms, kissing her desperatelySakura: -bites back tear- Go Kabuto: -nods, kisses her once more time, and leavesSakura: -lets the tears fallZakura: Hey kiddo. You ready? Sakura: Yeahyeah Im ready. SAKURA: And finally Sakura, is there anything besides Kabuto that makes this

Whole experience worth it? Lucifel: thats Kohaku Kawa, rounding everything up nicely. Our first reviewer, giving our last. Sakura: yes. Im a stronger person now. When Ino got hereI really saw what I was at the beginning, and I almost let myself go back to being that. But now, Im a much better person. Zakura: Which is why you dont need me anymore. Sakura: what? Zakura: Come on. tilts her head towards the main door which is now hanging openSakura followed Zakura out the door and down the steps, and finally outside, where it was still the wee hours of the day, and a shiny black Ferrari was waiting. Zakura: When dawn breaks, none of this will matter anymore. Youll forget what happenedbut not what you learned. Sakura: Zakura Zakura: this was your coming of age, kiddo. And about time too. My work in your life is done. Sakura: Waityoure not gonna be with me anymore? I cant live without you! Youre a part of me! Zakura: Oh girl, every time you bite your tongue. Ill be there to force the words out your mouth. Every time you bite some fuckers head off for treating you wrong, thats me backing you up. Just remember that. Sakura: I willthank you Zakura. For everythingbesides being a bitch. Zakura: ha! Thats my girl. Hops into the car- Go home, get some sleep. Youre gonna have to get up a face the whole new plot-line in the morning. And Sais a little bitch. Sakura: Ok? Zakura: See ya later, kid. Starts the engineSakura: -leans in and hugs her tightlyZakura: -is surprised, smiles, and hugs back- and keep an eye on Hinata for me, eh? Sakura: Yeah, I will. Pulls back- bye.

Zakura: later. puts on some snazzy shades- I have a spa day to get to. And Zakura zoomed down the road towards the east. Sakura stood watching, and just as the sun began to rise, the car and Zakura disappeared over the horizon. Ed: Hellooooo? Godammit, not again. Kyuubi: Ha, youre mine now, bitch.

Ask Sakura 0 Lucifel: Hello to all of you. AndGood bye. This has been a truly, truly wonderful experience for me. And I hope its the same for all of you I Ed: WHY AM I STILL HERE?!! I WANNA GO HOMA NOOOOW!!! Kyuubi: Bet back here you little runt!

Lucifel: -ahem- I wish I could thank each and everyone of you personally, with a big hug and an award of some kind. But unfortunately, all I can do is offer a massive cyber group hug to you all. I would like to put a few special thanks though: Kyuubi: no one caaaares. Ed: Get off me you damn, dirty fox!! Kyuubi: that would beno. Lucifel: This is my thanks for outstanding loyalty, those who stayed with it from the moment they came on board, supporting me all the way. These are the people that made ME laugh, and whom I looked forward to hearing from as the weeks continued. These are some of my favorite people EVER. Without you guys, Ask Sakura just would never have been the same: Kryah, my first and best FF friend ever. Emperor Jaden, my husband and partner in crime. Ceyx0991, my son whom I am SO proud to work with and inspire. Hilarious Tragedy, for starting the whole crazed, split fan thing and really bringing out the interactivity of AS. Avatarjk137 whos ideas influenced more of Ask Sakura than any other fan. Kohaku Kawa, my real-life sister, who filled in the blanks whenever I asked, could give me first-hand advice, and started and ended this whole crazy thing. Also those of you who stuck with me even when I may not have given you full attention. And those of you who were there in the beginning, to really kick me forward, and though not always there, showed you were still one of my best fans. And those of you who may not have been around as long, but showed your support and gained my love nonetheless. More than one of these people have a whole page in my reviews all to themselves. Kazster, MoonIdiot, Whatthehellwasithinkin, I have an alter Ego, Khellan Rafe, Truths Rose (formerly Kabutos Rose), Lyon Ryuushi, A.H.S., He-Yan, SnowGaara, EliteAssassin, Darkens4841, nightDREAMERms, Mini Death, Danie-chan, Taki-kun, The Muffinator3, TheUltimateNinjaDemonGirl, and The Self pro Kyuubi: Hey! You better not thank that bitch who put fen-me in a story!! Ed; You Are a girl! You pussy! You BITCH!! Kyuubi: -puts him in a choke hold- WHATD YOU SAY?! Ed: HRGK!?!

Lucifel: --claimed Prince of DDR. And, as always, MASSIVE thanks and tribute to TORN YORICK who inspired this whole crazy thing. I know thats not everyone. There were a lot of people in the beginning I remember and love. I probably missed a lot of people, but just know that each and every one has been a cherished part of one of the best experiences of my life. And if so much as ONE of you had never shown up, this story would not be what it is today, because thats the beauty of this thing, you guys really shaped it. You all gave your reviews, and your jokes, and had your fun with the story, seeing how you yourselves could shape and mold it. And you did a damn fine job. You know that ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer? routine? Its true. If it wasnt for your amazingly awesome and funny reviews, the in-between wouldnt have been nearly as great. Ed: EAT TRANSMUTATION!! Kyuubi: You idiot! I have THE PANTS!! I AM INVINCIBLE NOW!!! Lucifel: And when I asked for patience, or requested something special of you guys, you really delivered. I could go on and on gushing over you guys, but you wouldnt want to read all of that. You guys are the biggest bunch of ADHD crazy kids Ive ever had the pleasure to meet so Kyuubi: So why dont you GET ON WITH IT?! Lucifel: ass Ed: PANTSED!! Kyuubi: WTF?! Ed: So much for your super power now. Kyuubi: I am naked now you realize. Ed: eep Lucifel: anywhizzle, I also wanted to give you a quick idea of what my future plans are. I have in the works right now a fic about Kyuubi and Yondaime which is a sort of prequel to Summer Wind, but you neednt read one to understand the other. Kyuubi: HELL YEAH! I AM ALL UP ON THAT HOKAGE!!! Ed: RUN AWAY!!

Kyuubi: -tripsLucifel: Im also planning to write a Card Captors fic about Yue being turned human. I have several Naruto oneshots scribbled in a notebook. I want to type those up soon, this includes a Haku/Zabu fluff/lime, a Gaa/Naru romance, and possibly a small sequel to Wait For Me which Kiba/Kure but this sequel would have a hint of Shino/Kiba. I WILL be writing a Saku/Kabu oneshot, which will possibly allude to this fic ever so lightly, so youd all get a little insight to it, hopefully this will happen soon. And besides that who knows!! Im considering taking challenges or requests, but thats not open just yet, Ill put it up on my profile if I ever decide to. You guys would get precedence if you had a request to make. Eventually I want to be a published author. So, if ever you see the works of K. M. Washatka on a bookshelf, thats me. And you knew me first. winkPlease do put me on Author Alert. Not just to get myself reviews, but because I really want to continue hearing from you all. If not, feel free to drop me a PM anytime. Also, The Self-Proclaimed Prince of DDR has a nice Ask Fic of his own, Yep, its another ask the naru-crew fic You might also wanna check out Hagane-Samas The Akatsuki Auditions which isnt interactive, but it is funny. I dont really know that many otherstheyre definitely out there though. But, if you just wanna read good fanfiction QuillSlinger is AMAZING and kryah and ceyx0991 are upand-coming and could use bundles of support! Please read their stuff! Its good! It gets the Lucifel stamp of approval! Kyuubi: ha! I got them back! What now!? Ed: grr Kyuubi: What you want me to take them off again? Ed: ACK!! No! Kyuubi: then, say youll be my slave. Ed: do I have to mean it? Kyuubi: yes! Ed: NEVAR!!! dives under my deskLucifel: Oh, knock it off you two! Kyuubi: youre not the boss of me!

Ed: youre not my REAL mom!! Lucifel: sighs - Ok, so, heres a small summary of what everyone went and did after this: (any one of these may be made into a oneshot someday, let me know if youre really interested in any in particular) They all woke up the next morning, and though they did have memories of what had happened; assumed it a dream. The only person not weirded out by it enough to keep silent was Deidara who ran to Tobi and had a party telling him about the whole thing. Sasuke immediately called Shikamaru and confessed to everything he had been doing, and Shikamaru (having seen it all in his dream) reacted much in the same way. Sasuke went and did whatever it is he does in the story, and then started repenting. Eventually, after a long, long time Shikamaru officially forgave him and they were friends again. Sakura and Naruto did the same. Shikamaru also ended up, after a long few years of healing, in a loving and wonderful relationship with Choji. This lasted for a long time. They may have even gotten married, I dunno. Ino was totally supportive, and also became a better person after a while and getting a little uglier. Neji did a good job keeping to his vow of no longer being a whore. He actually ended up happily married to Tenten, although hes still not always completely sure about who she is. Lee woke up and immediately went on a youthful journey to visit Gaara and proclaim his lovein front of the whole council of Sunain the middle of a very important meeting. Things were worked out and they lived together happily. Oh, and Lee also made a huge dojo where students from all sorts strange and weird places came to learn. Gaara was just happy to be with Lee. And the fraps which were somehow transported to Suna with a return address and Gaara immediately began drinking like a fish. He had his best people work on replicating his frap mixes so he never ran out. He also put a ban on muffins. Haku and Zabuza did what they do bestlived cuddly ever after. They settled down in their mountain retreat and lived a quiet life. Kimimaro actually came by and stayed with them over winter. After All was settled in the land of the main plot Haku went and visited Naruto, nearly killing him from shock. Kimi went and did the same thing to Gaara because, thought he couldnt explain, he had a strong desire to be friends with the Kazekage of Suna. Kiba and Shino lived however it is they do in the main story, and later settled down together after having a large wedding full of guests nobody recognized (which cause some mild drama and hard feelings).

Then Kiba found a strange pile of things, a book full of cards signed by him and a large crate of strange red and white balls. Kiba then became the only person to regain full memory of what happened and, with a whining Shino in tow, went off to become the greatest pokemon master ever. He succeeded. Kyuubi went back to Naruto and lived Summer Wind. Go read it. (yay shameless plugging) Naruto also lived Summer Wind. Yay! Hinata eventually ended up marrying some guy. I dont know who. He was a nice guy though and treated her right. She never did understand why she had an explainable crush on Sakura for a while. Kurenai ended up getting together with Gai after all, although for some reason she first went off and would not come back until she had found a sailor to have a flaming affair with. The people the stayed dead, stayed dead. Living in their respective afterlives happily. Anyone I have not mentioned you can assume lived perfectly normal main-plot lives. Zakura went to her spa day, enjoyed herself, and then went on a massive road trip and did whatever she damn wel pleased for the rest of her life. And SakuraSakura lived her main plot life, but always had something tugging at the back of her heart. Whenever she saw Kabuto it lurched painfully and brought back fuzzy dreams and memories. She felt strange desires to be close to him, thought she knew it to be ridiculous and pitied him more than how she hated all the others who had hurt her friends. Kabuto became strangely obsessed with her as well. Sneaking off to spy on her, watching her whenever he possibly could, being driven mad by the strangeness of his feelings towards her. Like there was something about her he knew, but had forgotten. They knew, after a time, that they had fallen in love. And both thought themselves idiotic and ridiculous for feeling such. But they did. And both thought they were alone and estranged in their feelings. Until the last time they met. I dont know when this is in the plot, but I do know they shared a moment somewhere in there or shortly before or after, where they met and exchanged no words, but knew their feelings were returned, and took great comfort, relief and joy from that. Ed: -sniffle- thatsbeautiful Kyuubi: What the fuck is summer wind? Lucifel: why dont you go back and find out?

Kyuubi: Naw, Im having a blast here. I OWN MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHBWUHUHUHUHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ed: Not if I own you first!!! tackles and they crash through the window-

this

world!

Lucifel: Well I guess thats it. I feel like I should have so much to sayits the end of Ask Sakura for goodness sake! Butnothing deep or profound is coming to me, and no words could ever convey what this has been for me. It became such a routine part of life, not doing it will be incredibly strange. I loved it. Just bout every second of it. And I love all of you, please, dont be strangers! Stick around! Id love to continue hearing from you! Ill check out your guys fics too if youve got em. Thank you so much for this opportunity. And if anyones interested, the official page count on Microsoft Word with Times New Roman font size 12 is 1186, word count; 260, 008. The max amount of permanent characters I ever had was 30. This thing is EPIC. And I got One thousand or more reviews. You guys rock. I can only say it so many times. I can not believe its ending. But this ending is necessarily. This isnt the kind of thing that I want to putter out. It deserve as firm an ending I can give it. So here it is. I guess the only thing I can say is this; Never be afraid of weirdness Take any opportunity to laugh Dont ever conform Random moments are the best ones, embrace and create them whenever possible. Listen to your inner selves Thank you all again, I love you guys, and rememberits just incest. -And with a bow from your host, the curtain closes, the lights turn down, and Ask Sakura is over.-