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Making Peace With Your Past 04 Sunday Evening

Reconciliation
Matthew 5:23-24 Conflict is inevitable. Sometimes you dont mean for it to happen, but it does. You do the wrong thing. You say the wrong thing. Last years winning story in the Family.Com Contest came from Sherry Nyberg, South Gillies, Ontario Canada. It was about her five-year-olds accidental insult. Grandma's Coming Over Years back, my parents came to visit for summer vacation. My mother found our summer weather to be very different from home, as she noticed that her skin was very dry. I drove her to the store so she could buy some moisturizing cream for her face, which in fact was a 30-minute face pack. Upon returning to my house, my mother proceeded to go into the bathroom to apply her facial pack, which was white. My son at some point decided that he could not wait any longer for the bathroom, so he knocked on the door and asked if he could enter to use the toilet. My mother told him to come on in. Our son looked at her and said "Grandma, what's all that stuff on your face?" She replied, "It's beauty cream." Our son seemed satisfied and left the bathroom to return to playing with trucks in the living room with his grandpa. A while later, my mother came out of the bathroom, cream removed and feeling refreshed. It was at this point that our son looked up at his grandma and said, "Didn't work, did it?!" Have you ever done something like that? Didnt mean to but it just came out. Those little hurts are usually covered by love. But then there are times when the injury is worse. You might not have meant to say it or do it but you did. Someone got hurt. Or maybe you lost your cool and blew up. Or you took something that wasnt yours. Or you cheated. Or you lied. And a relationship was broken. It happens all the time. More than we want to admit. I read a story about a Spanish father and son who had become estranged. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in Madrid newspaper. The ad read: Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father.

On Saturday 800 Pacos showed up, looking for forgiveness and love 1 from their fathers. When I read that story I thought of those other 799 sons. How disappointed were they to find that their father was not the source of the ad? I thought about all of those dads. How many of those men are Christians? How many show up for worship and lift their voices to Christ with no thought of the unresolved conflict in their lives. Then I wondered if Im doing it myself? Its too easy to treat people miserably and then smile and bless the Lord. Dealing with past weve focused on those things that hurt us. We all want to leave the pain of our past behind. But what about when you were the source of pain? What about when you need to seek the forgiveness of someone else? You cannot be free of your past without seeking reconciliation. Matthew 5:23-24 "If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.

I.

Reconciliation Must Be Valued

Notice the order. If therefore. . . Therefore points to what he just said about sins of the heart. The Jewish system was completely focused on outward sins. And they made a big deal about taking care of performance. But they paid little if any attention to matters of the heart. They loved to swagger through worship and make big displays of their piety. Look at us. What wonderful children of GOOOOd. Stretch God into a three-syllable word. They made a big show of giving and a big show of praying. They were careful not to commit any of the obvious sins of the flesh. They wouldnt think of committing adultery. They wouldnt think of murder. Verse 22. But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever shall say to his brother Raca shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever shall say, You fool shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.
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Bits & Pieces, October 15, 1992, p. 13

In other words, murder isnt just an act; its how you feel. And if you slander, and if you hate you are just as guilty as if you kill! Now. Therefore. Lets talk about what this means! First! Proton. First in time place or rank! The first priority is the relationship! This means that if you are at the altar. Right up to the steps. Dragging that lamb. And right in the midst of the worship, God reminds you of your offense. Stop what you are doing. Dont take another step. Leave the offering. This implies haste. And go and get it right. Relationships are more important than ritual! 1 Samuel 15:22 And Samuel said, "Has the LORD as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices As in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams. Psalm 51:14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, Thou God of my salvation; Then my tongue will joyfully sing of Thy righteousness. 15 O Lord, open my lips, That my mouth may declare Thy praise. 16 For Thou dost not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; Thou art not pleased with burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, Thou wilt not despise. 18 By Thy favor do good to Zion; Build the walls of Jerusalem. 19 Then Thou wilt delight in righteous sacrifices, In burnt offering and whole burnt offering; Then young bulls will be offered on Thine altar. You cant really worship when the relationships are all messed up. We want this thing to be between us and the Lord. Just me and Jesus baby. Christianity is not lived in a vacuum. The horizontal plains of our lives affect the vertical. 1 John 4:20 If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. You cannot worship the Lord and allow bitterness and wrongs to go unaccounted for.

Do you really value reconciliation? Have you made it a priority? You know how you will know? You will do this next thing.

II.

Reconciliation Must Be Sought.

go your way. Drop everything and GO! Move it buster. You find them. You seek them out. Its your job to seek it. Ill so it if I see her. No. Go find her. So how are your relationships this morning? Anybody have something against you? Have you wronged someone? This doesnt mean you cant get on with life if someone doesnt like you. Jesus curled up and went to sleep every night with a nest full of detractors. You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but you cant please all of the people all of the time. It took me a while to get this into my thick skull. I one day realized everyone wont like me. But sometimes I am to blame. I need to evaluate that. Who have I wronged. Have you sought to rectify it? Sometimes you cant. some people nurse a hurt. They dont want to get over it. You cant fix them. I know daughters who spend their lives trying to get their mothers to forgive them. Sons who spend a lifetime trying to get a dad to bless them. Every week they go back. Hey, you cant make a pig fly. Stop trying. It just frustrates you and makes the pig mad. Seek forgiveness. If they dont give it, then you have done all you can. Well maybe. One last thing.

III.

Reconciliation is Sometimes Costly

Great example of this is Zachaeus. Luke 19:1 Zachaeus was a nickname for Zacharia, The righteous one. Zach bore the short version because his life seemed so far from his real name. The Bible says three things about Zachaeus: First, he was the chief tax gatherer. This is the only time in the New Testament that a Chief Tax-gatherer is mentioned. The roman system of taxation was a mild form of Mafia. They demanded collection of a certain amount of tax from the citizens. They appointed tax collectors to bring in the loot. The tax collectors had to

bring in the Roman allotment, but here was where the deal was sweet. Anything above the Roman allotment was theirs to keep. So they got good at extortion. And Zachaeus was the best of the bad. Chief TaxGatherer. Second, he was rich. Naturally, he would be rich. Third, and I think this is most telling, he was small. Many words for small in the ancient language. The word used was micros. It is where we get microscopic. Zachaeus was a little guy. Being small is not an easy route in life. People pick on the little guys. I wonder what Zachaeus endured growing up. Did some bully sit on him and tickle him until he wet his pants? Did some girl turn down his invitation to dance? Did they call him names? Did he play right field? Being small is tough. My dad was small, 56. His nickname in High School was Little Rody. All of his life dad had to prove himself. Some can handle it. Others get hard. Zach got hard. He made his mind up to never let people push him around. Zach would use his mind to compensate for his lack of might. And so he gradually climbed the ladder of corruption until he stood far above everyone. He was rich, he was rude and he was powerful. I dont know if you were aware of this, but they were excavating the region around Jerico and they found an image with the label. Zacchaeus. The only known image of Zachaeus. When you see it you will have a perfect idea what this guy was like. Here it is: Nobody liked Zacchaeus. When Jesus came through town, nobody would move aside to give him a glimpse. I wonder if they did it deliberately. Resourceful Zachaeus climbed the tree. Hiding in the full leaves of the sycamore. Best seat in town. Or so he thought. Then it happened. Jesus turned toward him. Came right up to the trunk of the tree and looked up. Ripples of laughter must have spontaneously vibrated through the crowd. Zachaeus was up a tree looking silly. Young boys look graceful in trees. Grown men look ridiculous. Someone probably said, Jesus done treed him a sinner. But Zach was not laughing. And Jesus was not laughing. Rather than ridicule, Jesus spoke grace. Zachaeus come down. I am dining with you tonight. Where there was laughter now stone cold silence. HUH? Jesus cannot eat with him. Doesnt he know who Zachaeus is? Doesnt he know what he does? Look at verse 7. And when they saw it, they

all began to grumble, saying He has gone to be the guest of a man who is a sinner. Zachaeus was the only one who seemed to grasp the grace. On the way to his house Zach suddenly stopped. It wasnt right for Jesus to be the brunt of his wrong. It wasnt right for people to criticize the Lord for the way he lived. Zach turned and said, Behold Lord half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back four times as much. Wow! Zach was saying, Jesus gave me forgiveness, Now I will seek forgiveness. And the most visible way I can express that is through restitution. Restitution is part of repentance. Now I know there are some people that you cant get through too. Some people who will never forgive. They relish the thought of holding a grudge against you. They love to shake heads and say, Bunch of hypocrites. That somehow makes them feel better. Your seeking their forgiveness probably wont help. But you dont know that. And you arent responsible for their reaction. You say the three magic words: I am sorry. The ball is in their court. When you do it, follow three rules to reconcile: 1. Dont make excuses, Im sorry but I couldnt help it. 2. Dont project blame, Im sorry that you took it wrong. Just Im sorry. Please forgive. 3. Offer any restitution that might be necessary. Fix what you broke. Then its in their court. They have to deal with it. They might not forgive. Doesnt matter. Put it behind you and go on. No guilt. We must hear this. When there is something between you and someone else you must at least make an effort to seek forgiveness. Christians, we must settle it. Seek forgiveness. There are people in this church and outside who have a difficult time listening to the message of Jesus because of how church members treated them. They wonder how you can come and offer worship to god when they bear the scars of you actions. And they slander not only your name, but the name of Christ. First go and be reconciled and then come and present your offering.

Get it right. Seek forgiveness. Make Restitution.

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