THE HOUSE ON BAILEY HILL A play in one act

D. Paul Schafer 250 W. Broadway Apt. 260 Eugene, OR 97401 (541)606-0598 dpschafer@gmail.com

Cast of Characters The Living Room: The Dining Room/Halls: The Bathroom: The Bedroom: The Kitchen: The Study: The Basement: Male, an old-fashioned, nervous wreck Female, matronly and in control Male, good-natured Female, sultry but compassionate Male or Female, charismatic, often clueless Male, cool, pragmatic Male or Female, somewhat damaged

Scene The house at the top of Bailey Hill Road. The scene of a crime. Time The Present.

THE HOUSE ON BAILEY HILL A pair of diseased willows, propped like skeletons in the fenced yard of the house on Bailey Hill, whose frail grievances litter its rooftop and porch, both suffer the quiet resentment of the neighboring homes. Over there, a few poplars will suffice, do not obscure windows, clog storm drains, or remind anyone of death the way these two do since the passing of Mrs. Curtis, and the occupation of her residence five years previous by her peculiar son, Arthur. The house itself is a colonial revival style home, built in 1913, using plenty of redwood lumber before conservation efforts limited the use of those trees. It was originally brown, though now it is the cracked color of bone, shedding paint like dry skin, withered as the old woman herself during those final days, when the aches and pains of her frail form were echoed by the surrounding walls. There was once an attic before the fire, thirty-something years ago. Yet, in spite of such neglect, the foundation is strong, and the secrets locked of late within that sturdy frame remain protected from the elements, and from all emissaries of the outside world seeking to expose what dark heart beats beyond its pale complexion. These are its first visitors in months. THE LIVING ROOM A knock at the door! Did everyone--?! Someones at the door! THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Who? Who is it?!

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THE KITCHEN Oh my god! Finally! THE BATHROOM Solicitors probably. THE LIVING ROOM (through a peephole) Nope, dont look like it! THE KITCHEN (through a window) A man and a woman! I see them as well. THE STUDY Do describe them, please. THE LIVING ROOM I am! I was going to--I just--breathe, okay? Breathe! Ah, yes! Hes rather, um, coarse. Er, rough-looking? Like he hasnt shaved in a while, but uh--ugh! Hes leaning in! Bloodshot eye--cant look! THE KITCHEN Hes a brute. Catastrophic hair. Ominous jowls. Looks like he slept in that jacket. The woman though-THE LIVING ROOM (looking again) Yes! Shes very attractive! Uh, -ly dressed. Very nice. THE KITCHEN Purple blouse unbuttoned to the tops of her breasts. Pale skin. Hair in a bob--shes a brunette, sorry! With highlights! Oooo! Coach purse! THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Oh really. THE KITCHEN I can tell a Coach purse from the neighbors porch. But what color eye shadow is that? THE BATHROOM These arent the neighbors, obviously. THE KITCHEN Shes fit though. Great legs... THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Ive heard enough.

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THE KITCHEN High heels... THE LIVING ROOM Hes going through our mail! THE BEDROOM How embarrassing. THE BATHROOM Ah, youre awake! THE BEDROOM Nightmares again. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Tampering with our mail is a federal offense. THE BATHROOM Not if theyre feds. (Another rap at the door, more urgent.) THE KITCHEN Did you hear that?! He said, "Police, open up!" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Police? THE BEDROOM Open up? THE LIVING ROOM Uh, everyone calm down. Just a couple of...everyone just take a deep breath! Theres no need to get excited. THE BEDROOM (excited) Do you think they have us surrounded? THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (to THE LIVING ROOM) Theres only two of them, right?! Youre sure theres only two? THE BATHROOM One for breaking, one for entering? THE DINING ROOM/HALLS They cant do that! Just barge in here?

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THE STUDY Not without a search warrant. THE BATHROOM Only on television! In the real world they break down the door, march inside and start flipping over furniture. You watch. THE LIVING ROOM Oh please! This isnt some kind of...crackhouse! Theyre not going to break down the door! I mean, lets be realistic about this. THE BATHROOM Its unlocked isnt it? (THE LIVING ROOM concedes. Gasps and groans from the others.) THE KITCHEN (at the window) Oh dear. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS What? THE LIVING ROOM (feeling it turn) Hes clutching the knob! Its turning! THE DINING ROOM/HALLS They cant simply-THE LIVING ROOM Ready or not! (Light permeates the room and everyone scatters but THE LIVING ROOM, who affects a new voice, new posture and persona. He has become BROOKS, the male police detective described earlier.) "Hello? Is anyone here?! Hello?! Anybody home?" (He gropes for a light switch and finds one, but it doesnt work. Taking a few steps forward, he collides with THE DINING ROOM/HALLS. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS becomes BROOKS as THE LIVING ROOM assumes a position once more at the door.)

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THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Hello? Miss Gross? (addressing his partner) "Light doesnt work. Were stuck in the dark. Come on in. Mr. Curtis? Samantha?" THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) (entering once more, now assuming the role of the female detective) "I dont know if this is such a good idea." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Pam?! (to CAMPBELL) "Itll get better. Some of my best ideas start out crap." (As the two detectives have a look around the house, the rooms warily observe them.) THE BEDROOM Hes cute! When I heard "ominous jowls" I pictured old--but hes really just intense. THE BATHROOM (facetious) And that gives him the right to track mud all over the carpet? THE STUDY Who is Samantha? THE BEDROOM We are so screwed. I love it. THE BATHROOM Ill bet they know everything. THE KITCHEN Everything about what? THE BATHROOM Well, gee whiz! I wonder! THE STUDY Not everything or they wouldnt be snooping around. THE KITCHEN What are we going to do? THE BEDROOM Give it up.

I-1-6 THE KITCHEN How about a gas leak? THE BATHROOM No, no, Im with her. Of course, normally Id be the first to defend someones privacy, but-THE BEDROOM (waving to BROOKS) Yoohoo, over here! THE BATHROOM --I think its pretty obvious, guys. We need to come clean. THE BEDROOM Yes! Surrender ourselves completely. If only to be handcuffed... THE KITCHEN We are clean! SpicnSpan! THE STUDY Are you serious? THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Place is bigger than it looks from the outside. Cozy though." THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Gives me the creeps." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Really? I think it has a lot of character." THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Is that what Im smelling?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Unless its a corpse. Cross your fingers!" (Hes only half-joking, heads towards THE KITCHEN.) THE KITCHEN (to BROOKS as he approaches) Okay, so the garbage needs to go out. Worse crimes have been committed, surely. (They collide. THE KITCHEN becomes BROOKS, who looks around, admiring the space for a moment. He opens the refrigerator, closes it. Opens the freezer, closes it.)

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THE DINING ROOM/HALLS I feel completely violated! THE KITCHEN (AS BROOKS) "No dead bodies in here. Kitchens immaculate, actually." THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "How can you tell? Its so dark." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS These people have no right! THE KITCHEN (AS BROOKS) "Wanna grab the flashlight from the car?" THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "We need to be careful, Joe." THE KITCHEN (AS BROOKS) (opening cupboards, cabinets) "I think we have probable cause, dont you?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Probable cause?! THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "I dont know. I just want us to be able to use whatever evidence--if we find anything." THE KITCHEN (AS BROOKS) "Thats why we need a flashlight." (THE LIVING ROOM exits CAMPBELL then whirls around to face the others.) THE LIVING ROOM No one says a thing! Our loyalty is to Arthur! And to Tracy! THE BATHROOM What about Pam? THE STUDY Or this Samantha character? THE LIVING ROOM Pam has lived here less than four months. Whatevers happened to her is none of our concern. Now, as the largest-THE STUDY --Whatever happened to her?

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THE DINING ROOM/HALLS These are complete strangers! They werent invited and we dont owe them anything! THE STUDY Perhaps they werent invited--but they are here. Wherere Tracy and Arthur? Or the children? Weve been abandoned, folks. THE BEDROOM I agree. We have the right to see other people. THE LIVING ROOM This house still belongs to Arthur! Its his mothers name on the deed, yes, but everyone under this roof-THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (interrupting) --Dear, --darling, --dearest... THE LIVING ROOM --We owe him our alligence! This is the family who--? What?! (THE DINING ROOM/HALLS guestures behind him. Everyone but THE KITCHEN turns to see THE BASEMENT.) Oh... THE BEDROOM Did we wake you up, sweetheart? THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Youll have to excuse us. (THE BASEMENT watches BROOKS rummage through cabinets and cupboards.) THE LIVING ROOM Uh, oh, dont mind that! Hes just...were-THE BATHROOM --Occupied. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Entertaining guests. THE LIVING ROOM Nothing to worry about! THE BEDROOM You look tired.

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THE BATHROOM Do you feel okay? You look a little--? THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (going to THE BASEMENT) Let me help you... (THE DINING ROOM/HALLS guides THE BASEMENT into retirement once again, a relief to the others.) THE LIVING ROOM Okay, definitely time for these people to go! THE STUDY I think we have an obligation to reveal whats happened here. THE LIVING ROOM Obligation to--? What business is it of theirs? THE STUDY What do you know about it? THE LIVING ROOM I know as much as--as any of you--I dont know, why? THE STUDY Pam used the phone at my desk. THE LIVING ROOM When? THE STUDY The fourteenth of February! THE BEDROOM Valentines Day. THE LIVING ROOM And...? (THE STUDY shrinks, afraid. He has become "PAM" in a flashback. She reaches for a phone at the desk and begins punching numbers, then waits.) THE STUDY (AS PAM) "Mom? Its me. Im--I dont know what to do. Im freaking out...I asked him about it again today and he just...he got all quiet. I dont know what to do. I dont know whether to call the police?...Tracys not his daughter. I just know she (MORE)

I-1-10 THE STUDY (AS PAM) (contd) isnt...She hardly ever talks...but I swear, the other day I think I finally got through to her...her eyes lit up...like she understood...but something is so not right...I just think tomorrow...Im gonna pack everything up. This was a mistake...No, I should never have moved in. I need to get out of here." (The flashback is finished. THE LIVING ROOM is in a position at the door to become CAMPBELL.) THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Got the flashlight." (CAMPBELL passes through THE DINING ROOM/HALLS on her way to THE KITCHEN in order to hand the flashlight to BROOKS.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "Here ya go." THE KITCHEN (AS BROOKS) "Thanks. So, this place is pristine? Except theres one thing bothering me." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "Whats that?" THE KITCHEN (AS BROOKS) "No cleaning products under the sink. Dont you keep cleaning products under the sink?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "I do, but--" THE KITCHEN (AS BROOKS) "Me too. Every house Ive been in has cleaning products under the sink." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "Maybe theyre in the bathroom." THE STUDY Heads up, John. Shes headed our way. THE LIVING ROOM John, no, dont give them anything! (THE DINING ROOM/HALLS takes CAMPBELL to THE BATHROOM. She opens the cabinets beneath the sink.)

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THE BATHROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Nope nothing. That is odd." THE KITCHEN (AS BROOKS) "I wonder if theres a computer." (BROOKS enters THE DINING ROOM/HALLS and goes towards THE STUDY.) THE BATHROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Could I see that flashlight, actually? Why a computer?" (BROOKS hands her the flashlight from THE DINING ROOM/HALLS.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Check the history. Look for any pictures." THE BATHROOM (AS CAMPBELL) (inspecting the bathtub) "Of little girls?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Or little boys." THE BATHROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Its also odd theres no shower curtain, but theres a ring for one right here." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "So there was a shower curtain." THE LIVING ROOM Damn it, John! THE BATHROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Looks like theres a computer in the room behind you." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) (turning, seeing a smashed computer monitor on the floor) "Shit. Was a computer. Possible sign of a struggle?" THE BATHROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Or a cat." (BROOKS enters THE STUDY.) THE STUDY (AS BROOKS) "Of course, thats just the monitor--everything I want is right there on the hard drive. So we confiscate that--"

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(CAMPBELL enters THE DINING ROOM/HALLS.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "--We cant. Not at this stage anyway." THE STUDY (AS BROOKS) "But if we find something else..." THE KITCHEN Where are my cleaning products? You dont have them, John? THE LIVING ROOM No cleaning products! No shower curtain! Just keep giving them clues, right?! Oh, heres a ring! Why not just wrap your towel around the curtain rod and wave it so they know were giving up! THE KITCHEN I didnt know they were missing. I didnt mean to! THE LIVING ROOM But he did, didnt you? THE BATHROOM You really want me to take off my towel? THE STUDY (AS BROOKS) "Did you check the medicine cabinet?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "No, what for?" THE STUDY (AS BROOKS) "Asprin? Im still hungover." (CAMPBELL returns to THE BATHROOM in order to search the medicine cabinet. BROOKS backs into THE DINING ROOM/HALLS.) THE BEDROOM Yoohoo! Handsome! Over here! THE LIVING ROOM (to THE BEDROOM) Stop leading them on! THE KITCHEN Shes a tease! She cant help it.

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THE BEDROOM Im not teasing. Im tired of being alone. THE LIVING ROOM So youre gonna expose yourself to a complete stranger? THE BATHROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Excedrin?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "That works." THE STUDY Must I remind you these are the police? THE LIVING ROOM But theyre not even good police! Didnt you hear him say he was hungover? Look, we all need to band together and show them the door! These people have worn out their--I mean--they werent welcome in the first place! THE BEDROOM (waving to BROOKS again) My doors open. (BROOKS appears to actually see THE BEDROOM wave to him. He receives Excedrin from CAMPBELL in THE BATHROOM and they exchange places. CAMPBELL) crosses through THE DINING ROOM/HALLS and faces THE STUDY.) THE LIVING ROOM (to THE BEDROOM) Look at the pictures hanging on the walls! Of Arthur and Tracy! THE STUDY Nothing like the pictures on his computer. (CAMPBELL enters THE STUDY.) THE LIVING ROOM And the boys! Patrick and Jonathan! Have you no decency? THE STUDY (AS CAMPBELL) "You should check out the bedroom, Joe." THE BEDROOM Thats what Ive been trying to tell him!

I-1-14 THE DINING ROOM/HALLS You act like youve got all these dirty secrets. We all know nothing ever happens in there! THE LIVING ROOM Arthurs taken good care of us. Hes a good man... THE BATHROOM (AS BROOKS) "Twenty bucks says he didnt bother to make the bed." THE STUDY (AS CAMPBELL) "I dont know. You saw the kitchen." (BROOKS enters THE DINING ROOM/HALLS and looks towards THE BEDROOM, who is beckoning him.) THE LIVING ROOM Shes not even listening. THE KITCHEN Because shes about to be entered. THE BEDROOM Theres nothing more spiritual than having someone inside of you. (BROOKS approaches slowly while THE BEDROOM prepares to receive him. He stops, reaches for the door, they make contact. BROOKS, now inside THE BEDROOM, opens the door, pokes his head in, looks around, then closes the door and returns once more to THE DINING ROOM/HALLS. This should happen rather quickly.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Sorry, babe." THE BEDROOM What? THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "You owe me some money." THE BEDROOM Are you kidding me? Thats it?! (BROOKS makes his way back towards THE LIVING ROOM, stopping across from THE STUDY to admire CAMPBELL as she goes through the desk.)

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THE BATHROOM (laughing) Ill run a cold shower for you, honey! THE BEDROOM He barely looked at me! THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Or maybe..." THE BATHROOM Did he even notice your chest? I think its your best feature. THE BEDROOM He didnt open the closet or look inside my dresser... THE BATHROOM I cant believe he didnt go through your drawers! THE BEDROOM What man wouldnt want to go through my drawers?! THE KITCHEN Maybe hes gay. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Youd rather..." THE BEDROOM Im being serious! Her things are still here! THE LIVING ROOM Whos things? THE BEDROOM Pams. And hes not gay, obviously. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "...Have dinner with me tonight?" THE STUDY (AS CAMPBELL) "How long has she been living here with them?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) (heading back towards THE LIVING ROOM) "Four or five months, according to her mother. She met him at the hospital when he came in with his so-called daughter when she was pregnant." THE STUDY (AS CAMPBELL) "Tracy."

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THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Well, thats what hes been calling her for the last eleven years. But its Samantha Doyle. Im positive. Anyhow, Pam was a nurse there at the time, and thats when they started dating. Then about a six months later she moved in." (BROOKS exits THE DINING ROOM/HALLS into THE LIVING ROOM.) THE STUDY (AS CAMPBELL) "Do you still have that picture?" THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Of Pam?" (CAMPBELL enters THE DINING ROOM/HALLS.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "No, Samantha." THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Yeah, both of them." (BROOKS removes two photos from his pocket and gives them one at a time to CAMPBELL. He continues staring at her as she examines the pictures.) THE STUDY Thats a picture of Tracy. THE BEDROOM Yeah, but... THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "This is her before she was kidnapped. Age nine." THE BATHROOM Anyone need to throw up? THE STUDY So Samantha is...Tracy. THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "And heres the artists rendition--well, he stuck it in a computer--but this is what shed look like now. Eleven years later." THE KITCHEN Is he saying Arthur kidnapped Tracy?

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THE STUDY Samantha. Yes. Thats what hes saying. THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Okay, what if dinners on me?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) (comparing it with other photos in the house) "Weve got to find Pam Gross. Youre right. If she even suspected this..." THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Thats why I asked for your help." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "You said you had a hunch." THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "A lot of people think Im not--I needed someone like you." THE BEDROOM Are you seeing this? THE KITCHEN So the kids? Arthur... he made them. THE BEDROOM Theres something else... THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "Well, you got me." THE KITCHEN Ive changed my mind... THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Do I?" THE KITCHEN (to THE BATHROOM, THE STUDY, and THE BEDROOM) I wanna help. You guys were right. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) (taking his hand) "Why dont we just have dinner at my place?" THE BEDROOM This! Look! Thats what Im talking about! These two are in love!

I-1-18 THE STUDY In love? THE BATHROOM In this house? THE BEDROOM Cant you feel it? THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "That sounds even better." (She smiles and turns, about to let go of his hand. He pulls her close and kisses her.) THE BATHROOM Yowza! Whens the last time that happened here? THE KITCHEN It feels ... warm. Like someone left the oven on. THE STUDY At any rate, we need to help them. THE KITCHEN How? THE BEDROOM Get them moving in my direction. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) (suddenly breaking off the kiss) "The bedroom!" THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Umm ..." THE STUDY Thats not what I meant... THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "Did you check to see if there were any clothes left behind? In a closet or dresser maybe?" THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Oh, no, I just--of Pams?" (CAMPBELL rushes towards THE BEDROOM. THE BEDROOM embraces her, as THE DINING ROOM/HALLS turns around and strides back towards THE LIVING ROOM. THE BASEMENT sits up again, awake. It surprises BROOKS.)

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THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) (contd) "Hey, did you notice this door before?" (THE DINING ROOM/HALLS leaps in front of THE BASEMENT.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS No! No, were not doing this! I dont care! Cant you see where this is headed?! (She turns around and pushes back THE BASEMENT, who looks ready to say something. She covers his mouth.) THE BATHROOM Let him speak! THE STUDY You saw the photographs! THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Well be condemned! THE KITCHEN You shared their kiss... THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Theyll wrap us up in yellow tape! With people everywhere, going in and out, gawking, taking pictures! THE BATHROOM Well pretend its a cocktail party. Just for you. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Theyll take Arthur away for good--the kids! Theyll wonder how we ever allowed it to happen! THE STUDY This isnt our fault. You mustnt think-THE DINING ROOM/HALLS --No one will ever want to live here! Well be completely abandoned, end up haunted! The house on Bailey Hill! With kids throwing rocks at our windows every Halloween, teenagers screwing on dirty mattresses they drag in here, leaving their beer bottles all over the place and homeless people starting fires on the floor until they burn us down to the ground! Just like when the attic burned!

I-1-20 THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Looks like it might lead to a basement..." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Is that what you all want?! THE KITCHEN Youre afraid of starting over. From scratch. THE STUDY Of doing the right thing. THE BATHROOM Being humiliated. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS So? Why shouldnt I be?! THE STUDY Its nothing be ashamed of--but its no excuse. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS I dont need an excuse for trying to hold this family together! (THE DINING ROOM/HALLS storms towards THE BEDROOM. THE BASEMENT watches her go before BROOKS reaches for him, taking his hand in order to open the door, but THE BASEMENT refuses. They tug at each other.) THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Except its stuck." THE KITCHEN Actually, its locked. THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Or maybe its locked." THE KITCHEN (amused) Hey, if youre listening? The key is ... Whoa, why am I missing a piece of cutlery? THE BEDROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Theres a chest in here thats locked too--" (THE DINING ROOM/HALLS collides with THE BEDROOM (AS CAMPBELL) and whips around to leave.)

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THE BATHROOM Didnt that chest belong to Arthurs mother? Whats actually in there now? THE BEDROOM Things she wouldnt approve of. THE STUDY Theres a spare key to the basement in my desk! (CAMPBELL rushes past him through THE DINING ROOM/HALLS on her way to THE LIVING ROOM.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "But in the closet--" (THE STUDY sticks out his leg, tripping her.) "Yiii--!" THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "You okay?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "Yeah, I--the carpet mustve somehow snagged my heel--I dont know." (seeing THE STUDY) "Wait, I think I remember seeing a set of keys in here..." (CAMPBELL enters THE STUDY. She opens the desk drawer and searches for them. Meanwhile, BROOKS slams his shoulder into THE BASEMENT, but nothing gives.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (to THE BASEMENT) Dont let him in! THE BEDROOM Theyll hurt him! THE BATHROOM She knows something shes not telling us. Wheres the shower curtain? THE KITCHEN Wheres my knife? Its not on your table setting! THE BEDROOM Is Pam down there?

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(BROOKS tries again, and this time THE BASEMENT rocks back, moans. BROOKS stops, puzzled.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Maybe she is. Maybe she isnt! (He rams THE BASEMENT harder. THE BASEMENT groans and staggers back as BROOKS catches himself.) THE STUDY (AS CAMPBELL) "What was that?" THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Did you hear that?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (charging towards THE STUDY) Get out of there, you bitch! THE STUDY (AS CAMPBELL) "I give up." (CAMPBELL returns to THE DINING ROOM.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "Are you okay?" THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "I heard something." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) (helping him up) "Something?" THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Or someone. Maybe." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "You cant break it down. Joe, if youre wrong..." THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Shes been missing almost a week!" THE BEDROOM I have such a bad feeling about this. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "We dont have enough."

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THE STUDY But if shes down there... THE KITCHEN She cant be! How would she? THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "Shes a nurse. She could--" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "--Shed be resourceful." THE LIVING ROOM (AS BROOKS) "She may still be alive." THE BATHROOM I think I just shit myself. (BROOKS charges a final time into THE BASEMENT, knocking him backwards down a set of stairs.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "Joe!" THE LIVING ROOM The knife is downstairs. So are the cleaning products. I cant believe Im saying this! THE KITCHEN What?! THE LIVING ROOM Arthur took them down there that night. You were all asleep. THE BEDROOM Youve been holding out on us. THE LIVING ROOM Thats all I know. I swear! THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "Joe, are you okay?!" THE BATHROOM What about the shower curtain? THE LIVING ROOM Oh, and that, yeah. I forgot. THE BASEMENT (AS BROOKS) "Im all right."

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THE LIVING ROOM Its in the trunk of the buick. I watched him take it out there. THE STUDY And Pam? THE LIVING ROOM Dont ask me that. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS CAMPBELL) "Ill get the flashlight." THE STUDY Do you know what happened to Pam? (CAMPBELL uses THE DINING ROOM/HALLS to retrieve the flashlight from the desk in THE STUDY.) THE KITCHEN Her car is still parked outside. Her clothes are still here. You had to have seen her go down there, right? So if she came up--you must have seen her come up?! THE LIVING ROOM Please... (CAMPBELL enters THE LIVING ROOM via THE DINING ROOM/HALLS in order to hand BROOKS the flashlight.) THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Here." THE BASEMENT (AS BROOKS) "Thanks. The steps are really steep." THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "They look steep." THE BASEMENT (AS BROOKS) "Stand there and look pretty." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Shes still down there. THE BASEMENT (AS BROOKS) "Hello? Pam?"

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THE BATHROOM Alive? THE BASEMENT (AS BROOKS) "Im detective Joe Brooks ..." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS And Arthurs down there with her. THE KITCHEN Both of them? THE BASEMENT (AS BROOKS) "Im here to help." THE STUDY So where is Samantha? THE BASEMENT (AS BROOKS) "Pam?" THE DINING ROOM/HALLS She left with the kids. In the buick. (CAMPBELLs cell phone rings.) THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Detective Campbell...Yes?...Yeah...Oh really?" THE BASEMENT (AS BROOKS) "Campbell?" THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) (on the phone) "Hang on..." (to BROOKS) "What is it?" THE KITCHEN She drove? Samantha drove?! THE STUDY Without a license? THE BEDROOM Awesome. THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) (on the phone again) "What? Where at?...Okay, hang on." (to BROOKS) "Do we have a crimescene?"

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(Everyone waits impatiently. Some look at THE DINING ROOM/HALLS. Silence.) "Joe?" THE STUDY (to THE DINING ROOM/HALLS) Do they? THE BASEMENT (AS BROOKS) "Call it in!" THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) (on the phone) "Chuck, send a unit to 2105 N. Bailey Hill Road right away...I will...Yeah, Ill go out and wait for them. Thanks!" THE STUDY You knew the entire time. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (breaking) Theres a vent on the floor in the hallway. THE KITCHEN So, you saw the whole thing? THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Theyre on the way, Joe!" THE BASEMENT (AS BROOKS) "Ill be up in a minute!" (THE LIVING ROOM exits CAMPBELL through the front door, then whirls around and rushes to embrace his wife.) THE LIVING ROOM Im sorry, sweetheart. Im sorry everyone. I am so sorry! Oh, this house! This family! THE DINING ROOM/HALLS What will happen to us? THE STUDY That depends. THE KITCHEN What did happen to us?

I-1-27 THE DINING ROOM/HALL Arthur. He came up behind Pam while she was talking to Tracy. Samantha, I mean. And he stabbed her. THE BEDROOM Stabbed Pam? THE DINING ROOM/HALLS And when it was over--when he was done stabbing her to death--he went and got the cleaning products and took them downstairs. He told Samantha she had to clean up the mess. All the blood... THE KITCHEN Oh my god. Oh god. THE LIVING ROOM And thats when he took the shower curtain out to the trunk of the car. THE BATHROOM To put the body in there? THE STUDY I would presume so, yes. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS But when he came back down to get her...Pams body...He couldnt lift it. He threw out his back. And thats when Samantha grabbed the knife... THE BEDROOM Sam? THE DINING ROOM/HALLS And she did it. She stuck it in him. He didnt die right away. He was still alive, making this awful noise. So she had to do it a couple more times while he was trying to grab her... THE KITCHEN Okay, thats enough. Oh my god. I think Im going to pass out...I cant take this, you guys. Seriously. THE BEDROOM Are those sirens already? THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Oh no! No! No, no, no no no no... THE LIVING ROOM Darling, now, this is--we just have to let go. We can start over now. Itll be okay. This is a happy ending. Just like on television.

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THE KITCHEN Is it? THE LIVING ROOM Isnt it? Sure. I mean, not yet but soon, right? Think about it. How long has it been since there was even a fire in my fireplace? Or how long since weve heard laughter in the halls? I miss that. Those things! THE KITCHEN No one ever puts the tea kettle on anymore. THE BATHROOM Or takes a bath instead of a shower. THE BEDROOM I could use a little romance. THE LIVING ROOM Weve been so long a house. But not a home. (BROOKS climbs out of THE BASEMENT and into THE LIVING ROOM. He stares at the fireplace and the pictures on the wall.) THE DINING ROOM/HALLS He likes us. He said it was cozy in here. (BROOKS enters THE DINING ROOM/HALLS.) THE BEDROOM Just need to redecorate. THE KITCHEN Open some windows. I feel like we need to open windows. Its stuffy. And germy. It feels really germy in here right now. THE BATHROOM Ill need a new shower curtain. Maybe something with ducks on it... (Everyone turns to look at THE BASEMENT, who stands at the top of the stairs.) THE BEDROOM Oh, sweetheart... THE BATHROOM Are you, um, okay?

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THE STUDY Its finished. THE BASEMENT No. Not finished... THE KITCHEN Where do you suppose Samantha went? (CAMPBELL enters THE LIVING ROOM.) THE LIVING ROOM (AS CAMPBELL) "Hey, Joe?--Im on the phone with the captain. He says a girl just showed up there with two kids..." THE DINING ROOM/HALLS (AS BROOKS) "Its gotta be her. Lemme talk to him." (THE LIVING ROOM quickly exits CAMPBELL and goes for BROOKS next, exits BROOKS.) THE BASEMENT I always wanted to put up some drywall...insulation... Add another room... THE BATHROOM Maybe you could fit a pool table down there? THE BASEMENT Maybe. Hmph, a pool table. Rackem up! THE DINING ROOM/HALLS What if we knocked down all these walls? THE LIVING ROOM Darling? This is a, um, its a historical-THE DINING ROOM/HALLS You know? And opened the place up? THE BEDROOM I think that would be nice. THE DINING ROOM/HALLS Wouldnt it? A feeble light reveals the slow swirl of dust above the floor between pieces of old furniture, a pale ray sprung between the broken branches of the willows.

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From the bottom of Bailey Hill, the wail of a siren. The End.