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SMS

Collection
Part 2
☻Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are
everything i luv all rolled into 1

☻I have liked many but loved very few.yet no-one has been as sweet as u.I'd stand and wait in the worlds longest
queue.just for the pleasure of a moment with u.

☻A special smile a special face.a special someone i cant replace.i luv u i always will.uve filled a space no one can fill!

☻Girl ur clever girl ur smart.girl ur like a work of art.girl ur sexy girl ur fine.d only thing u aint is mine!

☻i luv ur eyes i luv ur smile.i cherish ur ways i adore ur style.Wot can i say?ur 1of a kind & 24/7 ur on my mind!

Double Meaning Messages

☻He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle
of wine!

☻Ques. What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

Ans. U can unscrew a light bulb.

Marriage Jokes

☻Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!).

☻Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.

☻A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

☻A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".

☻There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and
expensive jewels.
Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."

☻Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what
the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
☻Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

☻Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?


A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

☻Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?


Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

☻The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes...

☻The Minister noticed the bride was in distress so asked what was wrong. She replied that she was awfully nervous and
afraid she would not remember what to do. The Minister told her that she only needed to remember 3 things.
First the aisle, cos that is what you'll be walking down.
Secondly, the alter because that is where you will arrive.
Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service.
While the bride was walking in step with the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her
repeating these 3 words
...Aisle, alter hymn (I'll alter him)

☻Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

☻A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
"No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

☻There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!

☻I've got a good friend who married a Doctor.


One day he told her: "You need to do something to spice up our love-making".
Soon thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also an M.D.
"Why?" asked her husband. "You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making;
I just wanted to get a Second Opinion", she replied...

☻Q: Why do brides wear white?


A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

☻One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

☻What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -


Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

☻Marriage - an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

☻After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

☻I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

☻I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward

☻Behind every great man there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

☻The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - S. T. Coleridge

☻A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

☻A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Michel de Montaigne

☻Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative. - Unknown

☻Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

☻Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women. - Marion Smith

☻There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - James Holt
McGavran

☻The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him - Oscar Wilde

☻An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. - Agatha
Christie

☻Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. - Joey Adams

☻A husband's last words should always be 'OK buy it'.

☻They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood
☻There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. - Clint Eastwood

☻The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake - Unknown.

☻A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. - Marvin Kitman

☻Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? - Groucho Marx

☻After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay
together. - Hemant Joshi

☻A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

☻The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henry Youngman

☻Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. - Mae West

☻The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him - Cher

☻I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. - Max Kauffmann

☻I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that
growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

☻I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. - Dorothy Parker

☻When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

☻Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin

☻Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. - Jim Backus

☻By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -
Socrates

☻A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted - Helen Rowland

☻Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

☻All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. - Lord Byron

☻Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little
candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Henry Youngman

☻Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. - G. K. Chesterton

☻My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

☻I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

☻I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man. - Jean Harlow

☻Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa Hoffman

☻To the bride and groom - may we all be invited to your golden wedding celebrations...

☻To the NewlyWeds: May 'for better or worse' be far better than worse.

☻To the 2 secrets of a long lasting and happy marriage


...Here's to good sense of humor and a short memory!

☻Grooms, once you marry, please remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always try to get the
last two words in: "Yes dear"

☻You know, the trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to actually prove it.

☻May the best of your past be the worst of your future

☻Married life has many Ups and Downs...May most of yours be between the sheets!

☻May the joys you share today, be the beginning of a lifetime of great happiness and fulfilment

☻To our wives and lovers...may they never meet!

☻Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the
desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a
combination to bring an accumulation to the population.
☻May you grow old on one pillow.

☻Dear [bride's name],

☻Isn't it quite funny how History repeats itself?


[Bride's Age] years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to bed with a dummy...and now it's happening all over
again

☻I've known many,


Liked not a few,
Loved only one,
I toast to you

☻Here's to the bride - may she share everything with her husband...and that includes the housework.

☻To the Bride and Groom - may the roof above you never fall in and may you both never fall out

☻To the Bride and Groom - live life to the fullest and remember, this is the first day of the rest of your life...

☻To my wife...my bride...my joy

☻May your joys be as deep as the Ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam.

☻May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

☻A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Here's to you, my beautiful bride.

☻May our children be blessed with rich parents

☻Here's to my bride: she knows everything about me, yet loves me just the same.

Story Messages

☻Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr i've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but
Dr i've been sleepin wiv ALLSORTS!

☻chicken and egg in bed,chicken has head on pillow smoking.Egg rolls over annoyed saying"i guess we answered that
question"

☻A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in
the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!

☻Little Girl:"Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut" Mommy:"u mean its
small?"Little Girl:"No its salty"

☻an essex girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives.the paramedic asks 'how many fingers have i got up?'the girl
replies- oh no i think im paralised too.

Flirt Messages

☻Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How
about you?

☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.

☻What is live ? Live is love. Whats love ? Love is kissing. Whats kissing ? Come here and I show you.

☻Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ?

☻Love is Sweet, Love is sad, but with me in bed Love is the best thing you ever had.

☻You got the style. You got the intelligence and you sure got the body!

☻Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!

☻If you would see yourself the way I do, you would wish you where as beautiful as you.

☻The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second time you made little flames and now you make my heart
burn like hell !

☻Are you free for the rest of your life?

☻I know milk it does a body good, but DAMN how much have you been drinking?

☻If I could rewrite the alphabet I'd put U and I together!


☻Hello, I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart!

☻Your daddy must be a terrorist because you are DA BOMB!

☻Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?

☻It must have been a rainy day when you were born..Heaven was crying 'cus it
lost its most beautiful angel!

☻I must have been born under a lucky star, to find a friend as nice as you are,
and I will follow the rainbow until the end, if you promis forever to be my friend!

☻If love is a crime, lock me up, i'm guilty baby

☻In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.

☻Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already taken.

☻God created the world in SIX days But took him centuries... to come up with someone...as "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as
"Fuckable" ... *..As "YOU!" .. *

☻Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back..

☻Oh right then! Straight to the point! I want you right here, right now!

☻It is deaf and it wants to have sex with you...................... What do you say?

☻Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds !

☻You are just like a Bounty ... a piece of paradise on earth!

☻You're eyes are soft en tender,as sweet as they can be.There's one thing you must remember, you are the one for
me!!!

☻There are so many people in the world but in my world there's only one and that's you!!!

☻I want to share everything with you, your sadness, your happy moments, every single second of the day.

☻Do your feet never hurt ???? ... You are wondering around my thoughts all day long....

☻Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now ...

☻When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why,just make a wish. Trust me it will
come true,'cause I did it and I found you.

☻I do not think much, I do not think often, but when I do think, I think of you

☻I love all the stars in the sky, but they are nothing compared to the ones in your eyes!

☻You can fall from a mountain,you can fall from a tree,but the best way to fall,is to fall in love with me.

☻If flowers were dreams that would last for ever, I would pick the most beautiful ones to send to you

☻Be smart, be clever, put me in your heart, 4-ever.

☻Don't listen to your mind. Listen always to your heart!

☻If one night a big fat man jumps in at your window grabs you and puts you in a sack don't worry I told Santa I wanted
you for CHRISTMAS

☻If I had a penny every time I thought of you, I'd still miss you,but at least I would be rich!

☻Passion running trough my veins, trembling, waiting, reason is fading. Overpowering desire sets my skin on fire!

☻Somewhere, someone dreams of your smile and finds your presence in life so worth while. So when you are lonely,
remember it's true that someone, somewhere, is thinking of you.

☻Can you see me? no? Turn around, can you see me now? no? Turn again, can you see me now? I can see you
because you have a special place in my heart!

☻If I was a fly, I would fly to you now... but I'm not so I need to stay home and cry!
☻Since I met you people are wonders and live is a big party...

☻What ever you say, what ever you do, I will always love you

☻If loving you is wrong,then I don't wanna be right.My love for you is strong and brighter than any light.The way we must
go is long,but we'll win every fight.

☻At night I cannot sleep and during the day I dream of you...

☻Life is much brighter with you around !

☻Don't let your mind rule over your heart.

☻You can fall from a mountain,you can fall from a tree ... but the best way is to fall in love with ME

☻If you would see yourself the way I do, you would wish you where as beautiful as you ...

☻Sometimes words are hard to find, to form that perfect line to let you know you're always on my mind!

☻Even when it is rainy the sun is shining in your smile.

☻If a kiss on your lips tastes as sweat as a raindrop I want it to rain for ever .......

☻I will give you one kiss to go to sleep. I give you two kisses to dream. I give you an endless row of kisses to, when you
wake up in the morning, think of me.

☻It must have been a rainy day when you were born, but it wasn't really rain, the sky was crying because it lost his most
beautifull angel...!

☻The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second time you made little flames and now you make my heart
burn like hell !

☻Where ever you're going, I'm going your way !

☻Are you free for the rest of your life?

☻If all the boys lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be ?

☻During maths I was thinking of you but I cannot calculate how much I love you!!

☻I am sending you to an island full of kisses on a sea of love!

☻Love is...looking whether he is looking, and when he does, certainly not looking back!!

☻Do you have a coin? I want to call your parents to thank them.

☻I wanted to put something incredibly beautiful, sweet, nice, sensitive, erotic and funny on you screen, but unfortunately I
do not fit on it.

☻I cannot think of a good opening sentence, so will we just say good-bye ???

☻I know milk it does a body good, but DAMN how much have you been drinking?

☻If I could rewrite the alphabet I'd put U and I together!

☻Hello, I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart!

☻Your daddy must be a terrorist 'cus you're DA BOMB!

☻Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?

☻I must have been born under a lucky star, to find a friend as nice as you are, and I will follow the rainbow until the end, if
you promise forever to be my friend!

☻Ferrari's are red, Lambo's are blue... but I am as happy in a mini with you.

☻Every man dreams of a beautiful woman, so do I ... I dream of you.

☻If love is a crime, lock me up, i'm guilty baby

☻If God would have created something more beautiful than you he would have kept it to himself.

☻Can I have your picture, so Santa Claus knows exactly what to give me .

☻In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.


☻Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already taken.

☻Have you drilled the butterflies in your stomach gedresseerd? I haven't!

☻I saw you at a distance but you never approached, but that what did never happen, never passes!

☻If love is blind, how will she find me ?

☻Never make love in the garden or in the fields...... For love might be blind but your neighbours not!

☻The less you open up to others, the more you will suffer.

☻Whenever I see your smiling face, I have to smile myself, because I like you, you're my friend!!!

☻There is a clown in my heart. Small and very special, he can dance and jump, laugh and sing ... are you sad and crying,
you can borrow him.

☻I love the spring mornings, the afternoons in autumn, the winter evenings and the summer nights....but you I love more !

☻I would have answered your letter soonerb but you did not write me one.

☻I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!!!!!

☻I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so everytime you cuddled it, you cuddled me instead

☻Luv is a sensation dat is caused by temptation.a boy puts his location in a girls destination.do u get my explanation or
do u wanna demonstration?

☻I like your style- I like your class- but most of all i like your arse!

Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!

☻I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!

☻Of all the babes ur my selection.please dont giv me a rejection.my teeth are clean for ur
Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!

☻If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?

SMS Greetings

☻BLINKING STARS

FreNz r 4-evER liKE E starS taT kePt blinkin In E sky. THoUgh we MighT b Far Apart... BUt I noE taT u r Still Near 2 Me
WhnEveR I look up... Gd nite N sleep TiTE

☻ TIME TO SLEEP

LyinG oN mY BeD, LoOkiN @ ThE CloCk, I nOe tAt iTs timE 2 zzz. I WonDeR HoW hAv U bEEn todaY... HopE Tat
EveryTHinG is FInE.. WiSh u sweeT dReaMz n Sleep TiGhT!

☻ MORNING GREETING

Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Gd Morning, it has asilent message saying: I remember you when I wake up!
Have a nice day!

☻ MORNING GIFT

Receive my simple gift of 'GOOD MORNING' wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u
safe and happy all day long! Take Care!

☻ GOOD MORNING

A night hug warms the heart, a night kiss brightens the day, and a good morning to start your day!

☻ NITE HAS END...

Nite has end for another day, morning has come in a special way. May you smile like the sunny rays and leaves your
worries at the blue blue bay.
☻ THINGS TO NOTE B4 SLEEPING

ThinGs 2 TaKe NoTe WheN u SleeP: 1st-MiSS Me, 2nd-ThInk oF Me, 3rd-HuG Me, 4th-LoVE mE. TrY 2 SlEEp NoW &
ClOSe Ur EyeS. Get PrePaReD 2 DrEaM oF mE! Gd NiTe!

☻ HELLO

The Word 'Hello' means H=How R U? E=Everything all right? L=Like 2 hear 4rm U. L=Love 2 C U soon. O=Obviously, I
miss you!

☻: I PRAY 4 YOU

In tis lovely nite, I pray 2 the blue moon 2 protect U thru the nite, the wind 2 blow away ur stress N the twinkle stars 2
guide U the way, sweet dreams Gd Nite

☻ GOOD MORNING

The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good morning, hoping that you have the perfect day.
Take care & miss you.

☻ NO MATTER

No matter the sky is black or blue, no matter there's stars or moon, as long as ur heart is true, sweet dreams will always
be wif u. Gd Nite!

☻ TIME 4 BED

da starz r out, da moon is up, 1 more HUG, 1 more smile, KISS u once, KISS u twice, now itz time 4 bed. Close ur @@, n
sleep tite!

☻ I CARE MOST

I was looking out the windows thinking about the person I care most & the person that came into my mind is U so juz
wanna wish u good nite.......

☻ STARS LIGHT

Stars light Stars bright u're the only Star I see tonite. I wish I may. I wish I might be there guarding ur dreams tonite, gd
nite sweet dreams

☻ NICE FRIENDS

A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good
friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams...

☻ WASH UP

Wash your face and wash your feet! Now itz time 2 fall asleep. Yours eyes are weak N mouth can't speak so hope tis nite
shall b nice and sweet. Good Nite.

☻ COLD COLD NITE

On this cold cold nite,in My small small rOOm,i Look At The Brite Brite StArS iN tHe DaRk DaRk sKy & DrEaM of uR
sWeet sWeet SmiLe on ur CuTe CuTe FaCe! GdNiTe!

☻ WINDOWS OF SOUL

Tireness draws across the mind making the body fade flexibility n soon windows of soul begin 2 close N enter the
dreamland! OYASUMINASAI! Sweet Dreams!

☻SOUL BACK FROM DREAMLAND

Your soul came back from dreamland reunited with a sleeping senseless piece of yourself slowly open ur eyes realise its
a brand new day. Good Morning.

☻ DRACULA KISS

As u go 2 bed 2nite, I ordered bats 2 guard u tight. I told some ghosts to dance in white, & 2 make sure u r alryt, i'LL ask
dracula 2 kiss ur neck goodnight..

☻ LAZY BONE WAKE UP!

The sun has once brought brightness to earth! lazy bone. it's time 2 wake up gd morning...
☻ AS NITE FALLS

As nite falls upon the land, it is time 2 Zz again. With the moon hangin in the starlit sky, i'm here 2 wish U NiteNite! Sweet
dreams, cover blanket tight tight

☻ THE SUN HAD RISED

The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a
big yawning & say gd morning to u..

☻ SOMEWHERE OUT THERE

somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone thinkin of u somewhere out there where dreams come true...
nitenite & sweet dreams 2 u

☻ MASTER OF PUPPETS

Master of puppets is pulling ur strings, twisting ur mind n smashing ur dreams. blinded by me, u can't c a thing when i
count to 3 u shall fall asleep 1,2,3,Zzz

Riddle Messages

☻Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

☻Nok nok.Who's there?....Marie!....Marie who?.....Mariewhowanna....!!

☻The jogger who overslept found himself running late.

☻The more you study. Tthe more you know. The more you know. The more you forget. The more you forget. The less
you know. So why study?

☻no men no women no women no love no love no sex no sex no children no children no school no school no homework
no homework no problems!

☻Everything in life is relative, ask Einstein.

☻If my right leg was thanksgiving and my left leg was christmas, would you visit me between the holidays?

☻When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and suddenly I realized that I was talking to myself.

☻Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

☻How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide.

☻Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

☻How women think about sex:At 8 ignore it,Age 18 experience it,Age 28 look 4 it,Age 38 ask 4 it,Age 48 beg 4 it,Age 58
pay 4 it,Age 68 pray it,Age 78 4get it.

☻If all the boys lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be?

☻What kind of children do you get using a yellow condom? ................... NONE! You stupid!

☻Why does a nun never wears a bra ? ............ God supports everything...

☻If a pen is mightier than a sword and a photo more powerful than a thousand words, how dangerous –can a fax be ?

☻What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?

☻When a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide are we talking of hostageship?

☻What is the velocity of the darkness?

☻Why do fortune-tellers first ask your name?

☻How do you know when you run out of invisible ink ?

☻When you strangle a smurf, what colour does he get ?

☻Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have a phone!

☻What happens when the earth turn 30 times faster?...You get your salary every day and all women bleed dead!!!

☻when is a man worth some money??................When he pushes a trolley

☻Why did the statue of liberty have to be a woman?The head had to be hollow to make a restaurant in it!
☻Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.

☻Why does beer contain female hormones ? ... When you drink too much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any
more, you start to nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.

☻How is an intelligent woman called? ....................... A transvestite

☻It has 50 teeth and it holds back or stops a terrible monster? ................... My fly!

☻When do you know you are overweight? .... When you are sunbathing on the beach and a Greenpeace-activist tries to
roll you back into the sea.

☻Why did God create the man first and only afterwards the woman? .... To give him the chance to enjoy heaven on earth
for just a few moments.

☻Why are men like sperm cells? ...... Only one out of a million is useful.

☻Why are men happy when they finish a puzzle in two months time..... Because the box says : 3 till 5 years.

☻Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at the same time? .... Because he would be a woman then.

☻Why are men like a toothbrush? .... They are useless without handle.

☻Why are men like snails? ..... They have horns, they slobber and they trudge along, and above all, they think the house
is theirs.

☻What happens when a man is in the water up till his navel ? ...... That is beyond his comprehension.

☻Why do have so many men a beer gut? ..... Than at least an unemployed dwarf has a roof over his head.

☻The ressemblance of a man and a cup of coffee? ..... They both get on the nerve.

☻What is the difference between a woman and a fridge? a fridge does not moan when there is meat inside

☻It is round and orange and says:"I am an orange, I am an orange"? .................. a mandarin who thinks big

☻What is the difference between a washing machine and a teacher? a washing machine runs on batteries and a teacher
gets on the nerves.

☻What is the difference between a battery and a woman? ...... A battery has also a positive side.

☻why do have men bandy legs? ......... all unimportant matters are between brackets.

☻How does a dummy catch a rabbit? ... He sits behind a tree and imitates the sound of a carrot.

☻Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly? ... When she feels something wet she turn on her back.

☻It is white and it stands in the corner? ....... A punished fridge

☻What is ressemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet!!!

☻Why did God create the man first and only then the woman? ...... Everyone makes a draft first!!!

☻Why do men exist ? Because dildos cannot mow the lawn.

☻Why do women not have a penis ? ......... That comes together with the brains.

☻Why do women have legs ? ...... Otherwise there will be traces of mucus on the kitchen floor.

☻Why the trolleys were invented ? ........ To learn women to walk on their hind legs.

☻What do you do when your mother-in-law is walking in the garden? ...... Shoot again.

☻Why does one do some peanut butter on his condom? ...... That makes him big and strong.

☻Why do the number of traffic accidents with stupid blond girls increase at April 1st? ..... When the traffic light is read
they think it is a joke

☻If Adam and Eve were so beautiful, how come that there are so many ugly people ?

☻When a store is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why is there a lock on the door ?

☻When you are not supposed to drive a car when you have been drinking, why do bars have a parking lot ?
☻When swinning is good for the development of our arms and legs, why do fish not have arms and legs ?

☻Blackmail: "When you do not give me the raise I will tell everyone you did give me one."

☻The black box of the plane is indestructible, why do they not make the plane of the same material ?

☻One out of 4 marriages ends in a divorce, what do the other marriages end in ?

☻How does the driver of a gritting vehicle go to work in the morning ?

☻How do you call a woman who looses 90% of her intelligence ??.................................a widow !!!!!

☻Do they have a coffee break at the tea factory ?

☻Does a liar lies when he says he says he is telling a lie ?

☻What do you prefer in the hereafter?...........Smoking or non-smoking area.

☻Where are the first 6 up's ?

☻Why does a kamikaze wear a helmet ?

☻Why does an answering machine never gives an answer when I ask something ?

☻Why do you always find one shoelon the streets ?

☻Why do we call apartements apartements when they are all connected to one another ?

☻Why can you buy sigarettes in a gaz station where it is forbidden to smoke ?

☻Why are you behind a computer, while in fact you are sitting in front of the screen ?

☻why are there life jackets in airplanes and no parachutes ?

☻What do the military do in a civil war ?

☻What is more easy for a man to make, a boy or a girl ? ...........a girl.....there is an example in front of him

☻What do sheep count when they want to sleep ?

☻What does a butterfly feel when he is in love?

☻What whish would stars make when they saw falling people.

☻Who invented milking cows and what did he think when he started doing it ?

Love Quotes

☻I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last.

☻I'm so sad when you're gone. Come back soon. Miss you!

☻In my dreams and in our love for 1 another there are no impossibilities.

☻Love is like quicksand - the deeper you fall in it the harder it is to get out.

☻You're just my cup of tea.

☻Love is like the truth, sometimes it prevails, sometimes it hurts.

☻Love is not something you feel. It's something you do.

☻Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

☻My girlfriend told me, I should be more Affectionate, so i got two Girlfriends.

☻My heart is breaking since you went away

☻My love belongs to you.

☻My love is ever in your service.

☻One good thing about internet dating: you're guaranteed to click with whomever you meet.
☻One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.

☻To feel love gives pleasure to one; to express it gives pleasure to two.

☻To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world

☻True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.

☻True love never lives happily ever after - true love has no ending.

☻Trust, Love & Keep Moving (Growing)

☻We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.

☻We must love one another or die

☻When you left, I stopped smiling

☻Where ever I go, whatever I do, I carry a little part of you with me right here in the center of me heart.

☻Who cares whether this is a poem or rhyme, I will love you until the end of time...

☻With love and patience, nothing is impossible.

☻You gotta learn to laugh, it's the way to true love.

☻You need Money to call someone Honey.

☻You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.

☻You touched my heart and changed my life for the better.

☻You're the icing on my cake. What's that? Chocolate, of course...

☻You're the laughter in my life.

☻You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

☻Your love's better than a cold beer on a warm day. Almost...OK then, definitely!

☻Your love's better than a home run with the bases loaded.

☻Your love's better than chocolate

☻Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Goethe.

☻A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

☻I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved. - George Elliot

☻LOVE: The irresistable desire to be irresistibly desired. - Mark Twain

☻The first duty of love - is to listen. - Paul Tillich

☻One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love. - Sophocles

☻How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as
first love?" - Albert Einstien

☻Life is a flower of which love is the honey. - Victor Hugo .

☻Love is friendship set to music. - E. Joseph Crossmann

☻At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. - Plato

☻Love is a great beautifier. - Louisa May Alcott

☻In our life there is a single color, as on an artist`s palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of
love. - Marc Chagall

☻Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like
a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Einstein.

☻I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you,
because I LOVE YOU!
☻Love is being stupid together.

☻Love is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.

☻Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

☻No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart,
which knows no age.

☻Love conquers all. - Virgil.

☻It’s hard to find someone whom you truly love, much less to find someone who loves you as much. When the chance
comes, don't ever let go.

☻Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.

☻All we need is love.

☻Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.

☻Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. - Einstien.

☻Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and VERY important.

☻Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight, it'll crush, hold it too loose, it'll fly

☻Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep, Because Reality Is Better Than A Dream.

☻Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

☻Love is a gift of one's inner most soul to another so both can be whole

☻Love is also like a coconut which is good while it is fresh, but you have to spit it out when the juice is gone, what's left
tastes bitter.

☻People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in love all over again

☻Talk 2 me when i'm bored, kiss me when i'm sad, hug me when i cry, care 4 me when i die, love me when i'm still alive

☻The best way to love is to love like you have never been hurt

☻The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one u love, love someone else.

☻The love we give away is the only love we keep.

☻The prerequisite for making love is to like someone enormously

☻There are times when I fall in love with someone new, but I always seem to find myself back in love with you.

☻There is no remedy for love but to love more.

☻There is nothing more important in life than love.

☻A good love is delicious because you can't get enough too soon.

☻A smile to put you on high... A kiss to set your soul alright...Would it be alright if I spent tonight being loved by you?

☻Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.

☻All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!

☻Don't forget to love yourself.

☻He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.

☻I see you in every passing face

☻I'll love you till the cows come home.

☻If love were a movie, you'd be a box office hit!

☻It's a rainy day when you're not around

☻Let love be your greatest aim.

☻Life is the flower for which love is the honey.


☻Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

☻Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness.

☻Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think about yourself.

☻Love makes everything lovely.

☻Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to live?

☻Love teaches even asses to dance.

☻Love without return is like a question without an answer

☻Love your enemies. It really pisses them off!

☻Love: Two minds without a single thought.

☻Lovers, like bees, lead a honey-sweet life.

Jokes Messages

☻When the apple is green and ready to pluck. When a girl is sixteen she's ready to fuck!

☻The 3 wonders of a woman 1*give milk without eating grass 2*get wet without water 3*bleed for a week without going 2
die.

☻No Boys! No Boys, no Sex. No Sex, no Kids. No Kids, no School. No School, no problems! Why Boys??

☻After the party - mum, I am not drunk, I can lay on the flour without holding on.

☻A girl phoned me the other day and said...Come on over, there is nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

☻I love you in the mornig, I love you in the evening, but most of all, I love you when you are leaving.

☻No men, no love, No love, no sex, No sex, no childeren, No childeren, no school, No school, no homework, No
homework, no problems!

☻NEWS FLASH snow white has been thrown out disneyland. she pulled up her skirt, sat on pinnochios face & shouted
lie u bastard, lie, lie!

☻What's the difference between your job and your wife? Your job still sucks after five years!

☻If you want SEX take a boy and RELAX but don't forget DUREX!!!

☻If you think fuck is funny fuck yourself and save the money.

☻When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

☻Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.

☻The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

☻If you have no voice: SCREAM...... If you have no legs: RUN......... If you have no hope: INVENT…

☻When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys!!

☻Man: I would really like to get into your pants. Woman: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.

☻A man was dying of cancer. His son asked him:dad why do you keepon telling everyone that your dying of AIDS.He
replied"So that when i die no 1 will fuck ur mom

☻Kill one you're a murderer, kill 10 you're a serial murderer, kill them all, you're GOD.

☻The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed. Today I know better, so I will write it in my letter. In my bed I've seen so
many faces, so I'll fuck you at different places.

☻Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!

☻Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.

☻To wake up in the morning and always see the sun no matter the weather, I'm glad the day has begun.

☻I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.
☻When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."

☻One chicken to an other: are you tokkin' to me?

☻Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife : Let me take a picture
of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

☻A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? Stupid of course, there are no others

☻What's the difference between blonds and traffic-signs? Some signs say stop.

☻When god created the men he was only kidding

☻Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets!

☻Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN

☻When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he
with his pants down.

☻There are three girls in the sixth grade ... A blond a brown and a red. Who has the biggest boops ? ............ The blond
because she already reached the age of 20!!!

☻If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents !

☻How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*

☻Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters

☻Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.

☻You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?!

☻Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man
a sausage, 2 bitterballs and a little pot of mayonnaise

☻Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law!

☻What does it say on the wrapping of the Morning-after pil??? ......first some screwing before use

☻Farmer seeks woman with tractor. Please add photo of tractor.

☻Do you think I can live for another fourty years? ... Do you drink? ... No! ... Do you smoke? ... No! ... Do you visit the
whores? ... No! ....... Why do you want to live another fourty years?

☻Dialogue between 2 undertakers. "Do you have sometimes a dead period?"

☻There are numerous restaurants where you can eat Chinese. But it does not help a bit. There are more every day.

☻Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

☻Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

SMS Poems

BITE OF U
The length & breadth & height of you
total up to quite a view,
but to taste the true delight of you
I'll have to take a bite of you.

UR SMILE
Your smile is a general
my heart a soldier

STARS
If the universe did start with a bang
when God loved and the angels sang
one of the sparks that flew
chased time to become you

DOVE
when the moon shine from the heaven above,
i open my dove a i lyin the floor

KISS
if kisses wer rain id send u showers,
if fun was time id send u hrs,
if u needed a frnd id send u me!

HUH?
As i lie on my bed and look at the stars, and the moon, and the sky... i wonder...
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROOF?!?!?!?

BOOK OF LIFE
Starting a new day,
Starting a new life,
Starting a new page,
In the Endless Book of Life.

LETTING GO
if i luv sum1 let them go...
if they return it was meant to b...
if they dont their luv was never yours 2 begin wif

FORGET ME NOT
forgettin you is hard to do
forgettin me is up to you
forget me not
forget me never
forget this message
but not the sender

SENT WITH A SMILE


god in heaven,
god above
please protect the one i love,
sent with a smile,
sealed with a kiss,
i love the one who is reading this

STOLEN
Your words of love steal
someone's heart,
but you don't know that your
heart is already stolen by me,
check it!

FOUND YOU
I love you up from heaven
down to the ground
I'm really glad
to have you found

ANGEL
last night an angel walked into my room. I asked him to watch over you.
but he came back I asked him why he said:an angel doesn't watch over another angel

DONT4GET
Please remind me 2 remind u about reminding me 2 send u this reminder that reminds me of reminding u that i am always
ur friend. DONT 4GET!

HOW MUCH U MEAN 2 ME


If i go 2 heaven an ur not der i'll write ur name on evry stair 4 all 2 c how much u mean 2 me

ALL THE TIME


Good time,
bad time,
night time,
day time,
work time,
off time,
sad time,
happy time,
in the mean time i'm thinking of you all the time.

TOO MUCH!
when God gave us friendships he tried to be fair, but when i got you, i got more than my share!

2 GOOD 2 B TRUE
they say sugar is sweet and honey is too but baby wot do i call u? ur sexier than sexy and hotter than that there's only one
name 4 u and thats 2 good 2 b true

FALL
U can fall from the sky
U can fall from a tree
But the best way to fall
is in love with me.

4EVER
u r me, and i is u for eva our love will be true

MEANT 2 B
i love u babe i really do, i love the times when im with u, the way u say that u love me, i think that this was meant to be

STOLEN
Your words of love steal
someone's heart,
but you don't know that your
heart is already stolen by me,
check it!

DONT MESS WITH ME


here's my halo
made of glass
mess with me
and i'll kick ur ass

MA HUNI
Gifts r given @ b'days, chocs @ valentine, roses 2 say sorry, luv is shown wid kisses, but da reason 4 sending dis is....
cuz UR MA HUNI!!

LUV U
I love u wen u r sad.
I love u wen u r happy.
I love u wen u r teasing.
I love u wen u r laughing.
I love u wen u r angry.
I love u wen u love love me.

KISS 2 U
a kiss to you
from you know who
they say you knew me

COZ
It must have been a rainy day! when u were bourn heaven was crying coz it lost it's most beautiful angel...

AMONG THE STARS


Among the stars you´re the one that shines the most.Among the winds you´re the one that brings the warm air.Among the
people you´re the one who I wanna give a rose.

MISS U
i miss u
r u miss me
its u know or God know
but i know about my heart and brain
that is crying everytime for u.
dont froget me.

I MISS U
I miss u wen ur far away,i fink bout u evry nite n day i really cant believe its true dat 1 day ill b bak wth u.

LOVE ME
Love me,
dont hate me!
Your love is my life,
Your hate is my death!
FALLING
You can fall from the sky.
You can fall from a tree but you will get hurt.
But falling in love with me is like falling in heaven!

EVRY NITE
Every night when I look at the moon, it reminds me of you, how you can see the same moon. It makes me sometimes sad
because I can see the moon, but I can´t see you.

LEARN 2 LUV
Learn 2 love the people who are willing to love U at present.4get the people in the past & tnk dem 4 hurting U which led U
2 luv d people U have right now.

Funny Messages

☻20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now
holding his mobile in his hand

☻A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and
a numbskulll to pay for this all.

☻Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!

☻At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

☻Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

☻Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

☻BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll
never have multiple orgasm again!

☻Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!

☻Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still
searching.......no brains found.

☻Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .

☻Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

☻Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !

☻E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

☻Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

☻For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here?”

☻God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

☻God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created
woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!

☻HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is
unbearable!!!

☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

☻Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of
the whole world..

☻How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?

☻I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!

☻I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T

☻I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

☻I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...


☻I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is
empty i just take the next one!

☻I once sniffed Coke, but the ice cubes blocked my nostrils...

☻If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.

☻If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.

☻If you really resemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

☻Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

☻In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

☻It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French
word ... MOI!!

☻Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

☻Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!

☻My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."

☻My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...

☻Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?

☻One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

☻Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

☻Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed

☻roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

☻roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...

☻Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their
mobile in their right hand ..................

☻Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

☻The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why
should I be learning??

☻The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !

☻They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

☻This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now
read it all without the word cat!

☻This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have
infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

☻This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job
adds."

☻This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey
don't force it ugly!!!

☻Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell
me how you are?

☻We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven
statistically that at that age only few people die."

☻We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain


found !!!

☻What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!

☻When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

☻You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.
☻You are never too blond to learn !!!

☻You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the
BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number

☻You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are
doing things.

☻You should know what it takes to look this cheap!

☻You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play
with you

☻You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?

☻You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number

☻You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

☻Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less
you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

☻It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant
that these 3 men should never meet!

☻A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss
my ass!

☻i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

☻Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

☻Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the
world needs YOU after all!

☻Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

☻A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

☻At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1
stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

☻The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

☻I want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down &
den... i lauf again.

Love Messages

☻Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

☻When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will
come true, because I did it and I found you.

☻Words however special... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart. xXx

☻I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you,
because I LOVE YOU!.…

☻Love under the stars... they seem very far, but you are so close the star I love the most.

☻Somewhere, some1 dreams of your smile & finds your presence in life so worthwhile. So when your lonely, remember
its true that some1, somewhere, is thinking of u.

☻Theres a warmth in my heart. It haunts me when you're gone. Mend me to your side and never let go. The more I live
The more I know, what's simple is true, I love you.

☻Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in your dreams !

☻My love, words however special ... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart!!!

☻The day that I'll die, when death replaces birth, I'll recognize angels' faces, because I live with one on earth.

☻Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you're worth that sacrafice!
☻Heaven is the place where I would be, the day you would stop loving me!

☻I miss you ... I need you ... More and more .... each day ... I love you ... more than words ... can ever say.

☻If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I
wanted you for Christmas!

☻The hardest thing in life is watching someone you love , loving someone else.

☻Love is hard and will always be, but remember somebody loves you and that one is ME !

☻Don't love 1, don't love 2, but love the 1 who loves you.

☻The words are easy when the language is LOVE!

☻There is somebody in the world. Diferent from the rest. The sweetest person I know. That is why I love you so.

☻You showed me how it is to be loved. Now i know what really love is. 1 day we will be together forever. I can't wait to
hold you in my arms again.

☻I love three things: the sun, the moon and you, the sun for the day, the moon for the night and you forever.

☻I love the 'y'


I love the 'u'
I love the 'o'
Put them together
And i love 'you'

☻For the world you are somebody, but for somebody, you are the world! Lots of love, somebody.

☻The first time we kissed, I closed my eyes, He closed his eyes, and then....… WE MISSED!

☻Sometimes words are hard to find, to form that perfect line to let you know you're always on my mind!

☻Where ever you're going, I'm going your way !

☻Ferrari's are red, Lambo's are blue... but I am as happy in a mini with you.

☻For there is a certain someone who makes the grey sky blue, I'm glad to say that one is you.

☻I don't wanna feel the way that I do, I just wanna be right here with you, I don't wanna see, see us apart, I just wanna
say straight from my heart I miss you.

☻If you're the desert, I'd be the sea. If you hunger then hunger for me. Everything you ask I'll be. It's all good as long it's
you I see.

☻You can fall from a bridge, you can fall from above, but the best way of falling, is falling in love!

☻SMAK ... A mobile kiss... Keep your mobile close to your ear!

☻Love is like war ... Easy to start ... Difficult to end ... Impossible to forget...

☻What I feel for you,is really true. You got to know,I need you so. When you are gone,I can't go on. Can't you see, that
you are the only one for me?

☻If I had a penny for everytime I thought of you, I'd still miss you, but at least I would be rich enough to come and see
you..!!

☻I miss you so, here around me, so many people, but yet so alone. I miss your lips, your lovely smile, I miss you each
day more and more!

☻If I die and go to heaven, I'll put your name on a golden star. So that all the angels can see, how much you mean to me.

☻Every message is a smile ... every word is like a kiss but when you touch me ...remember this ... my life is full with
happiness

☻By following my heart I came to you, I only forgot to take something back with me. For my thoughts are still with you.

☻The ideal husband is the one who understands what his wife did not say.

☻Love is hard and will always be, but remember somebody loves you and that one is ME !

☻If the people we love are stolen away from us the only way to have them live on is to never stop lovin'them. Buildings
burn, people die, but real love is forever...
☻Without love I cannot live, You are love so I cannot live without you!!!

☻LOVE is something beautiful,a desire, a feeling that one would like to catch. LOVE is the feeling that makes you feel
alive. LOVE is something that may never go away!

☻I wanted to send you all my love but the postman said it was too big !!!!!

☻Roses of red grow in my heart and they will never wither... 'Cause they bloom every time I see your smile, hear your
voice or just think of you!

☻If you live to be a hundred , I want to be a hundred minus one day , so I don't have to live a day without you...

☻You know what, in the whole world there is no such darling whom I love and I want the whole world to know that I will
never forget you!

☻If I die and go to heaven, I put your name on a golden star. So that all the angels can see how much you mean to me !!
I love you

☻I cannot resist the tears of a woman, that is why I would do anything for you

☻You are always in my heart, here and everywhere, There is no one in the whole world that makes me feel this way.

☻That I love you is no wonder. But the fact that you care about me, that is very special.

☻Women admire a man because he is strong , but they love him for his weaknesses.

☻There are a lot of birds wispering only about you, you should once listen to them, then you would know how much I love
you.

☻There Were Times You Make Me Cry... Looking 4 A Reason Why... There Were Times You Make Me Fly...Stay With
Me Until I Die...Stay With Me...

☻I am looking for a word. I am looking for a whole new word. I am looking for a word. I am looking for a word that nobody
knows. I am looking for a word. I am looking for a word that says...that you are the best !!!

☻There are thousands of roses on this world, even if I gave you every rose to you, that would not be enough to tell you
how much I love you!

☻When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will
come true, 'cause I did it and I found you!

☻When a heart is the sign of love ,and red the colour ...and when walking around with your head in the clouds means
that one is in love..Why do I draw a line in blue and am I only thinking of you ?

☻The sky is full of golden stars shining in the light of the moon, but the most beautiful light I see is in your eyes ...

☻The rose speaks of love silently in a language known only to the heart.

☻In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.

☻What holds you together is far greater than what can tear you apart.

☻A dream costs nothing unless you want it to come true

☻A butterfly needs its wings ... an icebear needs cold weather and I ... I need you!

☻Love... I want to hold you close to me and feel our hearts beat as one … forever ....

☻I love you! From the earth till the moon!

☻I hope that you finally understand, that I will love you untill the end, because your not just my girl, you are also my best
friend!

☻What is a flower without the sun, what is the earth without the sky. What am I without you, that is why I tell you … I love
you

☻Tomorrow there is an other day.A day i'd rather spend with you....without you there is no joy, only pain!

☻Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget.And if I die before you do I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

☻Words however special... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart. xXx

☻Love is forever, only the partners change...

☻If I would get a rose for every time I think of you, I would spend every day in a rose garden, ... thinking of you
☻How can it be that I am sad and happy at the same time ... it's because I know ... that you aren't back until tomorrow

☻I love two things, a rose and you. A rose for a short while, but you the rest of my life

☻I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you,
because I LOVE YOU!....

☻Love is....... to love more and more each day....

☻Love under the stars... they seem very far, but you are so close the star I love the most

☻Lonely? no, how can I be lonely when you are always in my thoughts. I wake up with you and go to sleep with you. I
love you!!

☻Kiss me and you will see stars ....Love me and I will give them to you.

☻I would love you only little when I would be able to say how much I love you!... Kiss

☻Like a rose needs water, like a season needs change, like a poet needs a pen, I need you!!

☻The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second time you made little flames and now you make my heart
burn like hell !

☻Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in your dreams !

☻When darkness moves in on me,it's the love of people like you that allows me to go through defeat and still know to be
fully accepted.

☻They learned me that one hours equals 60 minutes and that one minute equals 60 seconds, but they never told me that
one second without you can last for ever!

☻My love, words however special ... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart!!!

☻My eyes were set on you...it was love at first sight...

☻If the world was made of paper and the sea of ink, I would write everywhere that I like you!

☻Far away from here, totally inaccessible. That is where you are. Here next to me, within reach. That is where you are.
Whereever you go or when, you will always be near me.

☻I do not think much, i do not think often, but when I think, I think of you!

☻The day that I'll die, when death replaces birth, I'll recognize angels' faces, 'cus I live with one on earth..

☻Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you're worth that sacrafice!

☻If you were a tear I would never dare to cry. I might lose you!

☻Heaven is the place where I would be, the day you would stop loving me!

☻It must have been a rainy day when you were born, but it wasn't really rain, the sky was crying because it lost his most
beautifull angel...!

☻I miss you ... I need you ... More and more .... each day ... I love you ... more than words ... can ever say

☻If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life

☻If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I
wanted you for christmas!

☻3 words made my heart beat faster, 3 words made my legs shake 3 words made my head spin, 3 words: I love you!

☻To the whole world you are somebody....but to somebody you are the whole world

☻If you are mad at me, you might just as well give me all my kisses back !

☻The world is so more beautiful with you around!

☻All beautiful moments do not last long, except in our memory.

☻A kiss that tells it all is seldomly a first edition.

☻Being in love is when she looks at you and says: I would like to be a cannibal.

☻Real love is the history of enormous patience.


☻Love stops being a joy when it stops being a secret.

(\_/)
(=.=)
(")(")
☻a sweet little rabbit, just like you, because I love you!! kisses...

☻Grow old with me! ...... The best is yet to come...

☻the hardesd thing in life is watching someone you love , loving someone else

☻Tears in my eyes ......... Tears for you ...... Tears that realise how much I love you

☻Roses are red and the sky is blue ........ and I love you

☻Push down if you miss me... that is sweet of you ...... Very sweet indeed .... You can stop now ..... You really miss me,
hé :-) .... me too xxx

☻In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat
because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

☻Love is as a war, easy to start but hard to end...

☻When I think, I think of you, when I look, I want to look at you. I am crazy about you, even if it seems to become an
obsession

☻I would like to be a tear, born in your eyes, alive passing your cheeks and dieing on your lips.

☻If a raindrop would mean ... I love you and you would ask me how much I love you, i bet you that it would …. rain all day
!

☻They say that kids tell the truth, but am I a child too when I tell you that I love you enormously ?

☻Yesterday I did love you, tomorrow I will only think of you. You know whant... I love you!

☻people are children............life is love...........and you are sunshine.

☻-<-@
A rose for you
Because I love you

☻don't love 1, don't love 2, but love the 1 who loves you

☻Where were you before you came camping in my heart??? You started a fire and now my heart is filled with flames !!!

☻I love you so much !

☻Loving and being loved is feeling the sun shine at both sides.

☻Love is ... being married to your best friend.

☻I love you even more than when I started this sentence.

☻You always smile, you never say no, you never hurt me, my dear sweet teddybear!

☻The words are easy when the language is LOVE !

☻I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

☻It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget
someone.

☻To love you is to receive a glimpse of heaven.

☻Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like your unrequited love.

☻I appreciate all the things you do, and the way you show you care.

☻When God gave you to me, he planted the image of you deep in my heart.

☻When you left, my world turned upside down

☻I love you more than all the tea in China.

☻I'll love you till the end! And then some.

☻If love were a movie, you'd be a coming attraction.


☻If love were to be taxed, I would be the highest tax payer.

☻The most important things in my world are to get food, drink and to love you.

☻A day without your love is a day without life.

☻I can't think of anything but you.

☻I don't know how I could have done that thing, when I love you like life itself. Please forgive me.

☻You're the best thing since God made men.

☻You're the best thing since God made women.

☻You are my friend, my love, my forever Valentine.

☻The only love worthy of a name is unconditional.

☻You many meet people better than me, funnier than me, more hilarious than me, but one thing I can say to you, I will
'ALWAYS' be there when they ALL leave YOU!

☻It may sound simple, nothing unique or original... but yet it means so much and take courage to say. I wanna tell you 'I
Miss You Alot!'

☻When a door of happiness closes. Another opens. But so often at times we look so long at da closed door.. that we do
not see the 1 which has been opening at us

☻True luv is eternal... Cherish da luv when U've got the chance, for once it leaves U, it would b difficult 2 get it back..
Don't let luv be only a memory in U..

☻U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart. U may be out of my reach, but not out of my mind. I may mean
nothing to u, but u'll always be special to me.

☻Someday you'll 4get abt me, ...my name, ...my voice, who I am & who I am 2 you... But even if you 4get abt me, I just
wan u to know... I'll never 4get you...

☻Hearts could only love for a while, feets could only walk for some miles, clothes won't 4ever be in style, but having U as
my 'lover' is 4ever worthwhile....

☻Love, knows no reason, knows no time, it has a sole intention of bringing people together to a time, called - F O R E V
E R...

☻1 min, 1 hr, 1 day, 1 wk, 1 mth, 1 yr, no matter how long, I'll treasure the times we've spent together!

☻So many questions, but the answers are so few, all i really know, is, I MISS YOU !

☻Loving u is not just having a cup of coffee. It still takes me time to add in sugar and milk to make it sweeter and pure...

☻Fate has brought us together, to meet, to know and to part is the saddest thing in life... I £ove You...

☻Curved high on a mountain covered in dew... I saw these 3 words... I LOVE YOU!

☻i may seldom tell u how special u are, i may not be able to reach u coz we're both busy, but inspite of all, u know u are
someone i really miss and care about.

☻Loving is not how u forget but how u forgive, not how u listen but how u understand, not what u see but how u feel, and
not how u let go but how u hold on.

☻SMAK ... A mobile kiss... Keep your mobile close to your ear!

☻Love is like war ... Easy to start ... Difficult to end ... Impossible to forget...

☻What I feel for you,is really true. You got to know,I need you so. When you are gone,I can't go on. Can't you see, that
you are the only one for me?

☻If I had a penny for everytime I thought of you, I'd still miss you, but at least I would be rich enough to come and see
you..!!

☻I miss you so, here around me, so many people, but yet so alone. I miss your lips, your lovely smile, I miss you each
day more and more!

☻If I die and go to heaven, I'll put your name on a golden star. So that all the angels can see, how much you mean to me.
☻Every message is a smile ... every word is like a kiss but when you touch me ...remember this ... my life is full with
happiness

☻By following my heart I came to you, I only forgot to take something back with me. For my thoughts are still with you.

☻The ideal husband is the one who understands what his wife did not say.

☻Love is hard and will always be, but remember somebody loves you and that one is ME !

☻If the people we love are stolen away from us the only way to have them live on is to never stop lovin'them. Buildings
burn, people die, but real love is forever...

☻Without love I cannot live, You are love so I cannot live without you!!!

☻LOVE is something beautiful,a desire, a feeling that one would like to catch. LOVE is the feeling that makes you feel
alive. LOVE is something that may never go away!

☻I wanted to send you all my love but the postman said it was too big !!!!!

☻Roses of red grow in my heart and they will never wither... 'Cause they bloom every time I see your smile, hear your
voice or just think of you!

☻If you live to be a hundred , I want to be a hundred minus one day , so I don't have to live a day without you...

☻You know what, in the whole world there is no such darling whom I love and I want the whole world to know that I will
never forget you!

☻If I die and go to heaven, I put your name on a golden star. So that all the angels can see how much you mean to me !!
I love you

☻I cannot resist the tears of a woman, that is why I would do anything for you

☻You are always in my heart, here and everywhere, There is no one in the whole world that makes me feel this way.

☻That I love you is no wonder. But the fact that you care about me, that is very special.

☻Women admire a man because he is strong , but they love him for his weaknesses.

☻There are a lot of birds wispering only about you, you should once listen to them, then you would know how much I love
you.

☻There Were Times You Make Me Cry... Looking 4 A Reason Why... There Were Times You Make Me Fly...Stay With
Me Until I Die...Stay With Me..

☻I love you not because of who you are,


but because of who I am when I am with you.

☻No man or woman is worth your tears,


and the one who is, won't make you cry.

☻Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

☻To the world you may be one person,


but to one person you may be the world.

☻Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one,
so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

☻Don't cry because it is over,


smile because it happened.

☻Make yourself a better person and know who you are


before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

☻A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand


and touches your heart.

☻The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting


right beside them knowing you can't have them.

☻Never frown, even when you are sad,


because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
☻To the world you may be one person,
but to one person you may be the world.

☻Don't waste your time on a man/woman,


who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

☻There's always going to be people that hurt you


so what you have to do is keep on trusting
and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

☻Don't try so hard, the best things come


when you least expect them to.

☻Remember: Whatever happens,


happens for a reason.

☻In all your remembering, remember


that you have choices.

☻Though many people will go in and out of your heart


only one will want to stay there. If you bulid a heart full of holes, think how much easier it is to hang on.

☻It isn't what happens in your life that matters most,


it is what your heart does with it, who it shares it with and what together they learn from it.

☻They say forgive and forget,


but if someone is worth forgiving
then you'll never forget them.

☻The greatest thing you'll ever learn


is to love and be loved in return.
Kiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them to you

☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.

☻Theres a warmth in my heart It haunts me when you're gone


Mend me to your side and never let go
Say Time knows nothing,
we'll never grow cold
The more I live The more I know
Whats simple is true I love you

☻Somewhere, some1 dreams of your smile


& finds your presence in life so worthwhile.
So when your lonely,
remember its true that
some1, somewhere, is thinking of u.

☻The words are easy when the language is love

☻If u read,u owe me a HUG,


if u delete,u Owe me a KISS,
if u save,u owe me a DATE,
if u return txt msg 2 me,
u OWE me All,
bt if u ignore,
U r MINe!
So wat will U do?

☻A B C D E F G H I J
KLMNOPQRS
TVWXYZ
oops! i miss "U"

☻A ring is round,
A well is deep
& in ur arms i long to sleep
& in your bed i long to lie
no 1 else but u & i

☻I am looking for a word. I am looking for a whole new word. I am looking for a word. I am looking for a word that nobody
knows. I am looking for a word. I am looking for a word that says...that you are the best !!!

☻There are thousands of roses on this world, even if I gave you every rose to you, that would not be enough to tell you
how much I love you!
☻When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will
come true, 'cause I did it and I found you!

☻When a heart is the sign of love ,and red the colour ...and when walking around with your head in the clouds means
that one is in love..Why do I draw a line in blue and am I only thinking of you ?

☻The sky is full of golden stars shining in the light of the moon, but the most beautiful light I see is in your eyes ...

☻The rose speaks of love silently in a language known only to the heart.

☻In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.

☻What holds you together is far greater than what can tear you apart.

☻A dream costs nothing unless you want it to come true

☻A butterfly needs its wings ... an icebear needs cold weather and I ... I need you!

☻Love... I want to hold you close to me and feel our hearts beat as one … forever ....

☻I love you! From the earth till the moon!

☻I hope that you finally understand, that I will love you untill the end, because your not just my girl, you are also my best
friend!

☻What is a flower without the sun, what is the earth without the sky. What am I without you, that is why I tell you … I love
you

☻Tomorrow there is an other day.A day i'd rather spend with you....without you there is no joy, only pain!

☻Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget.And if I die before you do I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

☻Words however special... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart. xXx

☻Love is forever, only the partners change...

☻If I would get a rose for every time I think of you, I would spend every day in a rose garden, ... thinking of you

☻How can it be that I am sad and happy at the same time ... it's because I know ... that you aren't back until tomorrow

☻I love two things, a rose and you. A rose for a short while, but you the rest of my life

☻I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you,
because I LOVE YOU!....

☻Love is....... to love more and more each day....

☻Love under the stars... they seem very far, but you are so close the star I love the most

☻Lonely? no, how can I be lonely when you are always in my thoughts. I wake up with you and go to sleep with you. I
love you!!

☻Kiss me and you will see stars ....Love me and I will give them to you.

☻I would love you only little when I would be able to say how much I love you!... Kiss

☻Like a rose needs water, like a season needs change, like a poet needs a pen, I need you!!

☻The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second time you made little flames and now you make my heart
burn like hell !

☻Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in your dreams !

☻Working is a delight, leave enough work for your colleagues.

☻My husband and I cannot decide... a dog or a child..do we ruin our carpet or our life?

☻Remember that you are unique... just like everybody else!

☻I never forget a face, but for you I will make an exception.

☻Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

☻Speaking Italian is hard, but I eat and drink it without difficulties!

☻A good movie can make you cry... so can onions.


☻Those who think that things happen too fast are expected in a bank or a post office!

☻Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open to receive friends. And a garden full of memories
… of many good things.

☻You cannot buy friendship, you can earn it. If someone comes for help, be a true friend !

☻A friend is always welcome ... Early in the morning or late at night. Time is of no importance ... When it concerns real
friendship!!

☻Friendship is a wonderful word, it might be te most beautiful one on earth. Friendship is something powerful, a gift of
great value!

☻No gold or precious stones ... give us happiness and peace, friendship and its warmth ... will bring it to us

☻There is a big difference between friendship and a rose... Roses last only a while ... but friendship is for ever

☻I asked God 4 a flower, he gave me a garden. Asked 4 a tree, he gave me a forest. Asked 4 a river, he gave me an
ocean. Asked 4 a friend, he gave me you

☻Friends are like stars... you don't see them all the time, but you know they're there!

☻Life is not easy and it will never be, but you've got friends and one of them is me ...

☻I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you
promise to remain my friend !!!

☻U mUz bE tiReD cOz u haF bEEn runNinG thrU mY miNd, u gOttA bE a thiEf coZ u haF stOleN My hEaRt n i muZ haF
BeEn a bAd shOotEr CoZ i kEep miSSing u...

☻Fate brought the both of us together. So naturally when you look at us, you will think we match each other. Coz we are
make to be for each other.

☻If love is water, I'll give u the ocean. If kisses are spaces, I'll give u the universe... If heat was your love & care, how I
wish the sun was beside me...

☻Itz better this way U say 2 b or not 2 b. Is up 2 U to say, U r FREE to CHOOSE, but i'm AFRAID to LOSE... but no
matter when.. no mater where... I LOVE U...

☻The SPACES between ur FINGERS were created so that another person's fingers would fill them in. Hope U found the
hand that u r meant 2 hold on 4ever..

☻it dos nt hurt me seeing you in luv wd sum1 else, not wen i c u so hapi wd her
n nt wen u dnt say hi 2 me. it hurts me knwing dat i shud've been in her place.

☻t's a luvly feeling 2 stand on d top of a hill & feel on ur face d touch of d
cool soft wind, he same is d feeling wenevr I hear ur voice & c ur smyl.

☻There would come a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that
person has started hating us but because we found out that they'd be happier if
we let them go.

☻Days wil b spnt lyk yirs f dos days wil b spnt w/out u, smiles r lyk frwn f its
nt ment 4 u, but 4ever wil sound gre8t f u promise 4ever to me!

☻FYT 4UR LOVE, dats ol dey say.LET HER KNOW & DON't LET HER GO, so what day think of. IT WUD WORK OUT is
dey beliv in. SET UR HART FREE, its wat they see.but how can i......wen 4u ITS NEVER ME?!!!

☻everyone wants 2 be the sun dat lights up your lyf.But I'd rather be ur moon,so
I can shine on u during ur darkest hour when ur sun isn't around.

☻Luv not one, Luv not two Luv d one who luvs u true Luv not three, Luv not four
Luv d one who luvs u more Luv not five, Luv not six Luv d one who really sticks
Luv not seven, Luv not eight Luv d ne who really waits...

☻If I had the letter "HRT", I can add "EA" to get heart or a "U" and get "HURT".
But Id rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than to have a "HEART" without "U".

☻There would come a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that
person has started hating us but because we found out that they'd be happier if
we let tham go.

☻I would give up happines to never see you sad, I would give up eternity to be
with you always, I would give up my life so that yours would be new... I'd give
up everything... except you...

☻the pain inflicted, is because the good times (no matter how brief) make it all
worthwhile.

☻why say HI! if u mean I MISS U.. why say LET'S GO! if u mean I WANT 2 B W/ U..
why say STAY! if u can say B WITH ME... and why say I CARE wen ur heart says I
LUV U!

☻I don’t want 2 live anoder day if u're no longer der, 4 in dis lyf only u can
inspyr me 2 c d nxt sunrys, only u can motiv8 me 2 apprec8 d colors of lyf dat
no one else can.

☻ts funny that all of the souls in this worls knows how i feel for you..but you
it seems that ur the only one who doesnt have the clue.. i just wanna tell you
what everybody knows and thats I LOVE YOU...

☻not ol d tym i can go wid u. not ol d tym i can plis u. not al d tym im
available 4 u 2 tok 2. but 1 thing is 4 sure, i'l care 4 u even wen u least
expect me 2.

☻dont set ppl free if u luv dem, keep dem and treasure dem and fyt for dem...
kaya nga pinaglaban kita eh, kasi LOVE KITA!!!

☻Luv is only a gift gven 2 us, we shd not hold it in r hands 4 we may nvr find d
strength 2 let go wen it dcded 2 leave, we shd only mbrace 8s warmth & glow wyl
it last & den frily open r arms when its tme 2 say gudbye........

☻if someone asks me if ur good...il say ur not...if they say ur better...il say
ur not...why shud i say ur good or better if ur 1 of d best i ever had...

☻id rather to loved and be hurt than nothing at all

☻If you love someone, put their name in a circle instead of a heart, because
hearts can break, but circles go on forever.

☻if you cud be a part of my body,i'd let you be my heart for i want you to be
the most important,be the center of ol my emotions and be the last 1 to stop
wen it's tym for me to "GO". .

☻y hide ur
elings 2 d 1 u love? y lav d 1 hu lavs anader? y give evrything if
only pain comes in return? y wait if ders nothing 2 wait 4? i guess d anser
is... LOVE

☻i know its wrong 4 me 2 fall 4 u,but i cant get through it & if choosing ryt
means letting u go...then let me be wrong 4ever...

☻my hart s made 2 luv u, my lips are made 2 kis u, my eyes r made 2 c u, my
hands r made 2 hold u .....evry part of me wants u, maybe bcoz i was made just
4 u!!

☻u can close ur eyes wd d things u dnt want 2 c bt u can never close ur heart wd
d thigs u dnt want 2 feel.

☻U promsd 2 tke cre of me bt u hrt me, u promsd me 2 brng me joy bt u brought me tears, u promisd me ur luv bt u gave
me PAIN....ME? i promised u Nothing but i
gave yoy EVERYTHING!!!!

Sex Messages

☻If you want a little brother,kill your dad and fuck your mother.

☻Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed into your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like
it, because you're smiling now!!

☻Mean people suck, Nice people swallow! !

☻A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, without some tounge. So open up your mouth, and close your
eyes, and give your tounge Some exercise!

☻CONFICIUS SAY: BOY WHO GO TO SLEEP WITH STIFF PROBLEM WAKE UP WITH SOLUTION IN HAND.

☻Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!

☻Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the
slut down & fucked her again!

☻Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid everyone loves getting laid.u'll get laid.
☻Kiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them to you.

☻A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play magic? She asks: What do you mean? He says: We go to my place,
have sex and than you disappear!

☻Love is a thing, sex is also a thing.

☻BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll
never have multiple orgasm again!

☻Roses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between.

☻I like your style. I like your class, but most of all i like your ass.

☻Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI (ask for more) like SAMSUNG (everyone is
invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..

☻I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.

☻How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise?

☻Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the
explanation or do you need a demonstration?

☻Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good.

☻Sorry, the fuckmachine is out of order, so fuck yourself and save a quarter.

☻Fuck is good. Fuck is funny. Lots of people. Fuck for money. If you think that. Fuck is funny. Fuck yourself and save
your money!

☻Sex is like Math, Add the Bed, Subtract the Clothes, Divide the Legs and Multiply!

☻I want you to ride me like a pony! Hiyaaaaaa…

☻Don't be silly, put a condom on your willy.

☻Searching(sex)...... Done... Iedereen is op dit moment met SEX bezig. ...Wait a sec plz... Maar er is een zot zonder sex
dit klotebericht aan het lezen!

☻Sex, drugs & rock n roll, speed weed & birth control, life's a bitch, then u die, so fuck the world & lets get high!

☻This program will automatically enlarge your penis. Now starting...beep 6 5 4 3.....beep 2 1....Sorry no penis found!

☻Do you want to have sex with me? For $50! Please please please....I really need the money!

☻Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money! If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!

☻Sex is like Nike, just do it.

☻Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...

☻Neuk een wijf in dr kont, stamp die anus tot ze komt.S mijt je benen in de lucht, laat je pijpen in een vlucht. Krab de shit
van je paal, anaal neuken is geniaal!

☻Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

☻If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!

☻Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh.......yes......almost there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so


good! Yeah, that's textual intercourse!

☻Sex is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game.

☻I want you right, right now, why don't you come on over and let's do now!

☻I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you, you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!

☻I think I have BSE on my penis ...... all women who experienced it go crazy !

☻Eva stood in the river washing her cunt when God comes running to her and shouts: EVA EVA STOP, I WON'T GET
THE SMELL OF THE FISH.

☻Do you know why a waterbed needs to be filled with seawater?...For the mussels need to be able to open.

☻Screw calmly and without worries, if you do not come today, it may happen tomorrow !
☻Women are like little children, they put everything they see in their mouth.

☻The boy puts his information in her communication and together they make population!

☻What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a woman? ... When they are wet, they do not squeak any
more!

☻The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed.Today I'll know better,so I'll write it in my letter.In my bed I've seen so
many faces,so I'll fuck you at different places

☻Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money!If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!!!

☻What is de maximum speed during sex? .... 68, because at 69 you go overturn!

☻A good neighbour is better dan an inflatable doll !

☻God created the world in SIX days But it took him centuries... to come up with someone...as "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as
"Fuckable" ... *..As "YOU!" .. *

☻Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!

☻What is the smallest airplane in the world,a cunt... Only one man fits in it, he needs to stand, his luggage stays outside
and he still gets off ...

☻Are mice giving you trouble? No? Than you must have a good pussy!

☻Are these your eyes? I found them between my brests!

☻Sex is like Nike, just do it.

☻Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.

☻How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise??

☻When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.

☻Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...

☻Do you know why smurfs always laugh? Because the grass always tickles their little balls!

☻What is the difference between a man and a dildo?......... A man is a REAL PRICK!!!!

☻Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

☻The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAFE-SEX.


Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.

☻If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!

☻Sex is good for your stomach muscles and much more fun than fitness

☻The difference between erotic and perverted:


Erotic = caress the vagina with a beautiful white whisp
Perverted = do the same thing with a whole chicken.

☻A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have
sex and than you dissappear.....

☻What did Eva shout when she wanted to have SEX ?? ............. ADAM WHERE ARE YOU !!

☻you do not have to be good to be the best as long as you are better than all the rest!!

☻What does position 68 mean........You are doing me and I owe you one!!

☻Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.

☻A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So open up your mouth and close you eyes
and give your tongue some exercises!!

☻Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...

☻What you never want to hear while having good sex?? ............. "Honey, I am home!"

☻There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, Leather-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people with your
face: "No-Sex"!

☻Why does a woman have two pair of lips?................... One is for fighting and one is to make up.
☻What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?................ They both fit around your dick and are present in
your wallet

☻If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am too...and if you are horny, call
me.

☻American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their
SMS messages with their right hand

☻sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) and like samsung (everybody is
invited)

☻A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them, when they are wet, they smell and
when you walk on the street with them, people laugh at you.

☻Zwaai uw tieten in het rond, schuur je clitoris op de grond, stop 4 vingers in je kut, ram die kittelaar tot frut, bevredig je
met een gans, dit is de mastrubatiedans.

☻Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh......ohh......yes......almost there......yeah......oh


shit......harder......so good!
mmmm ......................That's how we sex on text.

☻Message from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our network. Turn it off or continue manually. Thanks for your
cooperation.

☻The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 4 days of bleeding without dieing, letting a man come
without yelling.

☻Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed in your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it
because you're smiling now!!

☻I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I
can lick as good as Lassie!!!

☻Do you know the highest level you can reach during sex? ................................. no?...................................... Bungler !

☻By opening this message you activated the dildo of your girlfriend. She thanks you moaning...You have now become
unnecessary.

☻Pornography tells lies about women, but the truth about men.

☻Roses are red ... Pickles are green ... I love your legs and whats in between

☻Searching(sex)......Done...Everybody is having sex at this very moment....Wait a sec...There is only one sucker reading
this message!

☻Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,when a man puts his location in a woman's destination,do U understand the
explination or would U like a demonstration

☻SEX is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game.

Kiss Messages

☻A peach is a peach.a plum is a plum.a kiss aint a kiss unless its wiv tongues.so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give
ur tongue some exercise

☻Kissing you baby is my dream.Im the strawberry & ur the cream.Handle me gently keep me real keen.U & i together
babes is passion so extreme!

☻wot kisses mean!KISS ON HAND=i adore u KISS ON CHEEK=lets b friends KISS ON NECK=i want u KISS ON LIPS=i
luv u KISS ANYWHERE ELSE=...lets not get carried away!

☻Kisses blown r kisses wasted.kisses rnt kisses unless they r tasted.kisses spread germs and germs r hated.but u can
kiss me baby im vaccinated

One Liners

☻Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?

☻Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

☻How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...!

☻***NEWSFLASH*** Tell ALL your female friends that I can get 100 tampons for £1
... No Strings attached
...but for a limited period ONLY!
...A bloody good deal!
☻Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H

☻FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.....still searching....still


searching......sorry, no friends found.

☻Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel U l8r.

☻Press down..More...Ok more...WOW yes ahh ohh yes....almost there....oh god harder..faster..FEELS GOOD...oh
goddd!...That's how I sex on text!

☻Ths msg cn only b read by a SEXY person -


Nothing? Soz, I guess UR just not SEXY But hey, i Didnt force it ugly, so get lost!

☻I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me til my face went Orange, til I busted
my Siemen all over her Nokias!

☻Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

☻HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?

☻This is your CellPhone Operator. We just found out you're too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and
start jumping on it. Thank you

☻Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?

A: There is a stamp on it.

☻A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex?


His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone

☻Why'd they call it PMS? Cos Mad cow disease was already taken!

☻I went to ur house justnow - can't enter cos door says *CUTE FOLK NOT ALLOWED* - pls take sign down next time ok!

☻Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

☻Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

☻Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.

☻I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.

☻How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.

☻Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too...

☻U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U got da Face, da Body....shit...I got wrong number...SORRY :)

☻I need a kiss, I need touched, I need your love, I need warmth, I need hugs, I need sex, I need YOU!

☻On the cell phone pad of life, always keep one finger on the disconnect key.

☻The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.

☻Nope.....u still ugly!

☻Y did the jelly baby go 2 school? Cuz he wanted to be a smarty.

☻What u call dog with no legs? Don't matter wot u call him, he ain't gonna come.

☻Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note
back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'

☻Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But hey, no worries - I sure science will come up with somin to help u.

☻I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back...! Nice Ass.

☻How to impress woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her
How to impress a man: Show up naked with beer.

☻How do u keep an idiot amused? Watch this message until it goes away!

☻It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

☻Whats the best thing about babies? MAKING EM!


☻I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

☻You are here: X

☻Hickory Dickory Dock, dis bitch woz suckin me c**k, da clock struck 2, i dumped me goo, & dropped her at da end of da
block.

☻In Ikea they have a Shelf storage system called Nob - So that's the only shop you can go into and ask the assistant to
wheel your Nob to the car cuz it's too heavy.

☻Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

☻Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole!

☻Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.

☻Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?

A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.

☻What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? Ok u 2, don't start anything.

☻Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?

☻Bud, what happen??? tried callin many time, everytime i get operator sayin 'Sorry, The Subscriber U R Calling is having
Sex, Please try again later.'

☻Bloke calls work : "Boss, cannae come in tae work. I'm sick"
Boss asks: "How sick are u?"
Bloke: "I'm F****ing my Sis, how sick is that???"

☻Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and lets play that game!

☻Roses are red, Pickles are green, I like ur legs and all that's between!

☻I like your style, you got sheer class, but babe, my god, I WANT YOUR ASS!

☻Hey, there is Hot-sex, Group-sex, safe-sex, phone-sex, speedy-sex, crazy-sex and for people wid ur face - NO SEX!

☻When an apple is green, it's ready to pluck, When a girl is sixteen she's ready to ..WOOPS...wrong number....

☻U good at math? Well, add a bed, subtract ur cloths, divide ur legs and we can multiply!

☻Yes, this is my pickup. No, I will not help you move.

☻Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

☻Important Message: Conserve your toilet paper - use both sides.

☻I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

☻I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check.

☻The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

☻There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

☻Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.

☻You may be recognized soon. Hide.

☻Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.

☻He who laughs last thinks slowest.

☻Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

☻I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.

☻Is somebody not editing what I'm saying here???

☻Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
☻If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

☻You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.

☻My mom never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch

☻If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me

☻Mind intentionally left blank...

☻I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem

☻Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

☻Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.

☻If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

☻Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.

☻If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

☻The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.

☻It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With ahunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. 17 times.

☻Born Free........Taxed to Death.

☻We will now upgrade your brain, please wait...searching...searching...still searching...sorry NO BRAIN found

☻I remind u that the most powerful force in the universe is sms gossip.

☻Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.

☻My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.

☻Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain right now...wait, hold on, sorry unable to find brain...leaving now...

☻Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

☻What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

☻Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

☻Celibacy is not hereditary

☻Familiarity breeds children

☻Life is sexually transmitted

☻We do precision guesswork

☻Born free . . . Taxed to death

☻If it's too loud, you're too old

☻Common sense isn't common

☻Nothing succeeds like excess

☻Do pilots take crash-courses?

☻If it ain't broke, fix it until it is

☻The older I get, the older old is

☻Relax, its only Ones and Zeros

☻A closed mouth gathers no feet

☻Do witches run spell checkers?

☻I don't get even . . . . . I get odder

☻Allow me to introduce my selves

☻A feature is a bug with seniority


☻If I throw a stick, will you leave?

☻Justice: A decision in your favor

☻Strip mining prevents forest fires

☻A waist is a terrible thing to mind

☻Do not disturb. Already disturbed

☻Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

☻Today's subliminal message is . . .

☻Demons are a Ghouls best Friend

☻Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

☻Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.

☻Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.

☻I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

☻Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

☻Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

☻First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

☻Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

☻Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.

☻Bad sex is better then a good day in school.

☻Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

☻Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

☻Fuck Me...are those real?

☻Be unique and different, just say yes.

☻Can I flirt with you?

☻Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

☻Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really kickin.

☻Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.

☻Umh, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

☻Darling, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house.

☻I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!

☻I've got the ship, you've got the harbour ... what say we tie up for the night?

☻I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.

☻If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice?

☻Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

☻That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

☻Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.

☻A hangover is the wrath of grapes

☻Everyone is entitled to my opinion

☻If it ain't chocolate, it ain't dessert


☻I don't work here. I'm a consultant

☻Out of Body. Back in Five Minutes

☻The best things in life aren't things

☻I like feminists; I think they're cute

☻I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable

☻Does killing time damage eternity?

☻How can there be self-help groups?

☻"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy

☻BIGAMIST --- A heavy fog in Italy

☻Have a nice day. . . somewhere else

☻Guilt -- the gift that keeps on giving

☻Exceptions always outnumber rules

☻Adults are just kids who owe money

☻All stressed out and no one to choke

☻Constipated people don't give a crap

☻I may not be perfect, but I'm all I got

☻Where there's a will, I want to be in it

☻Anything not nailed down is a cat toy

☻Never miss a good chance to shut up

☻All computers wait at the same speed

☻Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

☻How do you get off a non-stop flight?

☻How come night falls but day breaks?

☻How do I set the laser printer to stun?

☻If we quit voting will they all go away?

☻Is it time for your medication or mine?

☻INSTANT HUMAN (Just Add Coffee)

☻I'm not getting older...I'm getting bitter

☻When all else fails manipulate the data

☻I'm as confused as a termite in a yo-yo

☻Insanity is my only means of relaxation

☻No guts, no glory, no brain, same story

☻Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw

☻I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert

☻I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier

☻When money talks, the criminal walks

True Love Messages

☻I wish i was ur blanket,i wish i was ur bed, i wish i was ur pillow underneath ur head,i wanna b around u,i wanna hold u
tight, & b the lucky person who kisses u goodnite
☻Uve won my luv now I luv u.This heart of mine I give 2 u.So keep it safe as i have done.For u have 2 and i have none!

☻i dont have the measels, i am not confined to bed, asperin wont help coz i aint my head, i dont have back ache or the
flu, its more serious...i am missin u!

☻Ull always be mine 4 now & 4ever.Ull always be mine 4 u r my treasure.Ull always be mine please tell me its
true.Please be mine 4ever ill always luv u.

☻There are Tulips in my garden,there are Tulips in the park.but nothing is more be beautiful then our two lips meeting in
the dark!

☻I love 3 things! The sun, the moon and U! The sun for the day, the moon for the night and you forever!

☻if i died or travelled far, i'd write ur name on every star,so everyone could look up & see, dat u mean the world 2 me

☻Wantin u is easy missin u is hard.Wishin u was wiv me wrapped up in my arms.Constantly think of u wen we r apart.Ive
got the padlock u hav the key to my heart.

☻How can u tell the rain not 2 fall wen clouds exist?How can u tell the leaves not 2 fall wen the wind exists?How can u
tell me not 2 fall in love wen u exist?

☻Accidents do happen.i slip- i trip- i stumble- i fall & usually i dont care at all.but now i dont know what to do cos i slipped
and fell in love with u

☻Love is like a golden chain that links our hearts together and if you ever break that chain youll break my heart 4ever!xxx

☻When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will
come true, because I did it and I found you

☻True luv is hard 2 find.Special 1-1 of a kind.But the luv inside of me is true.It appeared the day i met you!

☻It takes 2 to tango.2 to kiss.2 to talk & remenisce.so many good things cum in 2 & one of those things is me & u!

☻U say u luv me & want 2 hold me tight.those words run thru my head day & nite.i dreamt u held me & made me see dat
4ever 2gether we wood be!

☻1000 words 1 cood say.1000 wishes 1 cood pray.1000 miles legs cood walk.1000 sounds a mouth cood talk.1000 times
ill b true.1000 ways 2 say i luv u!

☻Ive got ur bak & uve got mine.ill help u out netime.2 see u hurt 2 see u cry.makes me weep & wanna die.ill b right here
til d end.cos ur my luv & my bestfriend

☻You can fall from a bridge, you can fall from above, but the best way of falling, is falling in love!

☻There are 3 steps to happy happiness: 1 you. 2 me. 3 our hearts 4 eternity!

Sardar Ji Jokes Page 1

1- Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

2- Sardar Ji calls Air India.


"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.

3- Sardar ji is filling up a job application


He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes

4- Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.


He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

5- Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.


Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

6- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?


He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

7- What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

8- There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.


They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave...
"No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then
we would become a State of USA and develop automatically."
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd
was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"

9- Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.


"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

10- Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?


Because below 18 was not allowed.

11- How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?


Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

12- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and
disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He
walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"

13- What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

14- What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

15- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

16- What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? Trying to hold on to a thought.

17- Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

18- Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.

19- How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.

20- What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel

21- What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes? The back of his head.
22- What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

23- What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh.

24- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.

25- Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.

26- How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.

27- Why can't Sardar dial 911? They can not find the eleven on the phone

28- How do you get Sardar on the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house.

29- "Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

30- What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but you never see them.

31- Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head.

32- The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometres a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of
300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."

33- Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.

34- A Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when
his friend asks him "Kyon Sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "

35- Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takesalong some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"

36- Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20
rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees, the Sardarji
deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station
arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly
screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"

37- Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked,
"Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?" The Sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that
I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

38- Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
" Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."

39- Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands
"Rubi!" "Woof!" (it's the barking sound)
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof."
Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

40- Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy
the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for
several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same
street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
41- Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh
somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush was
over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with
both hands, scared to death. He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ?
I was enjoying my ride down there ?
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"

42- Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the
iron and stuck it to my ear."
" Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."

43- Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in
front of the interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa Singh then goes through his certificates and then starts asking
him questions.
Following is the transcript :
O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple
questions.If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites
S : Yes Sir.
Officer started asking questions
O : Above
S : Below
O : Front
S : Back
O : Left
S : Right
O : Male
S : Female
O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our Sardar also spells it)
O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)
S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L ..... Y...... Our Sardar also shouts) Officer is now angry.
O : Get out
S : Come in.
O : Quiet please.
S : Talk please.
O : You are rejected.
S : I am selected
....... ....... and This is how Santa Singh got his job.

44- A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin
instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar raheho?"
To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, "Wash Basin".

45- Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

46- Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He
tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his
vest pocket.
"What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?"
"That's a good match. I'll use it again."

47- A Sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why're the guys doing what they're doing.
The bystander: A Marathon race is going on
Sardar: What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!
48- Then there's the one about the Sardarji who brought his binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a
DISTANT relative of his...

49- One Sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in Burma bazaar. His Tamilian friend told the Sardar that
the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price. Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for
which the vendor told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Sardar told
no, no only Rs.900. Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs. for which Sardar bargained for Rs.750. It was going on
like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost."Our Sardar asked
whether he will give two."

50- A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
Our Sardar says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, Sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out
for the next 19 years.
" Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explained that he wouldonly get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! if you're not going to give me my $20 million
right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!"

51- Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I
thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to
make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger."

52- A Sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load
when it was directly over him.
The Sardar says, "It is good that cows don't fly"

53- A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

54- How many Sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping? Six.
One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.

55- Why are Sardar secret agents the best in the world?
Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.

56- Did you hear about the Sardar who asked his friends to give him all of their burnt out light bulbs?
He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

57- Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day.
"Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two jackets?".
"Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can says 'put on two coats'."

58- Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six
miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked the Sardar why he kept
painting less each day,
he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can"

59- Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.

60- Why do Sardars have see-through lunch box lids?


So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

61- Sardar,a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down,
because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The
Japanese took the radiator, the British took the seat, and the Sardar took the door.
After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?"
The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, can drink the fluid."
Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?"
So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."
Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door.
The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window."

62- Why couldn't the Sardar write the number "eleven"?


He didn't know which "one" came first...
Shayari SMS

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,


Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

********************************************

Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum


waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...

********************************************

Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai


Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

********************************************

Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain


Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hain:)

********************************************

Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,


Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan....

********************************************

Woh hamari gali me aaye...


Woh hamari gali me aaye...
Woh hamari gali me aaye...
Aur chillake bole.....
Paper Raddi wala !!!!!

********************************************

Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de


tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de

********************************************

jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai:)

********************************************

Teray husn ki kya taarif karoo, tera bander jaisa hai moo
Teri zulfo ki kya taarif karoo, teray ek ek baal pe hai joo

********************************************

Hathi nay kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per


Sadqey jaoon tumhari patli kamar per ...

Sardar
Unki gali ke chakkar katate katate
Kutte bhi humare yar ho gaye
Vo to humare na ho sake
Hum kutton ke sardar ho gaye

∙ Ret pe naam kabhi likhte nahin, kyonki ret pe likhe naam kabhi tikte nahin,
Aap kehte ho tum patthar dil ho, par patthar pe likhe naam kabhi mitte nahin.

∙ Zikar hua jab Khuda ki rehmaton ka,


Hamne khud ko khushnaseeb paya,
Tamanna thi ek pyare se dost ki,
Khuda khud dost bankar chala aaya.

∙ Mit gaye hain sab zakham,


Bas nishaan baaki reh gaya,
Saza puri ho gayi,
Karna gunaah baaki reh gaya.

∙ Jeena chahte hain magar zindagi raas nahi aati,


Marna chahte hain magar maut paas nahi aati,
Bahut udas hain hum is zindagi se,
Unki yaadein bhi to tadpane se baaz nahi aati.

∙ Tu dekh ya na dekh, tere dekhne ka gam nahi,


Par teri ye na dekhne ki ada dekhne se kam nahi.

∙ Ek ada aapke dil churane ki, ek ada aapke dil me bus jane ki,
Chehra apka chand sa aur ek zid hamari chand pane ki.

∙ Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai,


kuch nasha to dheemi barsaat ka hai,
humein aap yun hi sharabi na kahiye,
is dil par asar to aap se mulakat ka hai!

∙ Yaar yarran nal hasde rehnde,


Te yaar yarran nal gusse,
Aa sajna gal lag miliye,
kite mar na jaiye russe.

∙ Woh inkar karte hain ikrar ke liye,


Nafrat bhi karte hain to pyar ke liye,
Ulti chaal chalte hain yeh ishq karne wale,
Ankhein band karte hain didar ke liye.

∙ Yaadon ki dhund me aapki parchai si lagti hai, Kaanon me gunjti shahnai si lagti hai,
Aap karib ho to apnapan hai,
Warna seene me saanse bhi parai si lagti hai.

Woh ruthte rahe hum manate rahe,


Unki raahon me palkein bichate rahe,
Unhone kabhi palat ke bhi na dekha,
Hum ankh jhapkane se bhi katrate rahe.

∙ Manzil unhi ko milti hai, Jinke sapno me jaan hoti hai,


Pankh se kuchh nahi hota, Hauslon se udaan hoti hai.

∙ Teri dosti hum is tarah nibhayenge,


Tum roz khafa hona hum roz manayenge,
Par maan jana manane se,
Warna yeh bheegi palkein le ke kaha jayenge.

∙ Dhoka diya tha jab tum ne mujhe,


Dil se main naraaz tha,
Phir socha ki dil se tumhe nikal dun,
Magar woh kambakth dil bhi tumhare paas tha.....
∙ Kismat pur aitbar kisko hai,
Mil jaye khushi inkaar kisko hai,
Kuch mazboorian hain mere dost,
Warna judai se pyaar kisko hai.

∙ Chand lamhon ki zindagani hai, nafraton se jiya nahi karte,


lagta hai dusamanon se guzarish karni padegi, dost to aab yaad kiya nahi karte

∙ Hume Hasne-Hasane ki aadat hai, Nazron se Nazar Milane ki aadat hai,


Par hamari to nazar unse hai ja mili, Jinhe nazar Zhukake Sharmane ki Aadat hai.

∙ Bahut dur magar bahut paas rehte ho,


Aankho se dur magar dil ke paas rehte ho,
Mujhe bas itna bata do kya tum bhi mere bina udaas rehte ho??

∙ Ai mere humnashin chal kahin aur chal,


Is chaman mein ab apna guzaara nahin,
Baat hoti gulon tak to seh lete hum,
Ab to kaanton pe bhi haq hamara nahin.

∙ Koi ankhon se baat kar leta hai,


Koi ankhon mein mulakat kar leta hai,
Bada mushkil hota hai jawab dena,
Jab koi khamosh rehkar sawaal kar leta hai.

∙ Qayamat tak tujhe yaad karenge,


Teri har baat par aitbaar karenge,
Tujhe SMS karne ko to nahi kahenge,
Par phir bhi tere SMS ka intezar karenge.

∙ Kaun jane kab maut ka paigam aa jaye,


Zindagi ki akhari sham aa jaye,
Hum toh dhundhte hain waqt aisa jab,
Hamari zindagi apke kam aa jaye.

∙ Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,


Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.

∙ Ek din hamare annsoon humse pooch baithe, humey roz -roz kyon bulate ho,
Humne kaha hum yaad to unhe karte hain tum kyon chale aate ho.

∙ Do pal ki bhi khushi na mili to kya hua umr bhar gam ke sahare ji lenge,
Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi, hum aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge.

∙ Soch ko badlo, sitare badal jayeng,


Najar ko badlo, nazare badal jayenge,
Kashtiya badalne ki jarurat nahi,
Dishaon ko badlo, KINARE badal jayenge.

∙ Aapki muskan hamari kamjori hai,


Keh na pana hamari majburi hai,
Aap kyon nahin samajhte is khamoshi ko,
Kya khamoshi ko zuban dena jaruri hai?

∙ Tere DIL mein rahenge SMS bankar,


Dhadkano mein bajenge RINGTONE bankar,
Kabhi apne DIL se juda mut Samajana,
Hum tere saath chalenge NETWORK bankar!

∙ Hum dua karte hain Khuda se,


ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye,
Ek Cartoon jaisi cheez hai humare paas,
kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye!

∙ Zindagi behaal hai,


Sur hai na taal hai,
Msg box bhi kangal hai,
kya aapki sms factory me hartal hai,
Yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.

∙ Baag ki har kali, khushbu de apko,


Suraj ki har kiran, nai subah de apko,
Hum to kuch dene ke kabil nahi hain,

∙ Unka ashiyana dil mein basa rakha hai,


Unki yadon ko seene se laga rakha hai,
Pata nahi yaad aate hain wohi kyun,
Vaise dost to hamne auron ko bhi bana rakha hai.

∙ Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai,


Humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai,
Is umeed ke saath ki ayega SMS aapka,
Humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hein.

∙ Pyara sa ehsas ho tum, har pal mere pas ho tum,


Jine ki ek aas ho tum, mann ka ek vishwas ho tum,
Shayad is liye.... Kuch khas ho tum.

∙ Ankhein khuli ho to chehra tumhara ho,


Aankhein bandh ho to sapna tumhara ho,
Mujhe maut ka dar na hoga,
Agar kafan ki jagah dupatta tumhara ho.

∙ Hum na hote to aapko gazal kaun kehta, apke chehre ko gulab kaun kehta,
Ye to karishma hai hum pyar karne walon ka warna pattharon ko Taj Mahal kaun kehta.

∙ Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,


Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama-Mama kehke bulaate hain.

∙ Safar lamba hai dost banate rahiye,


Dil mile na mile haath badate rahiye,
Taj na banaiye costly padega,
Har taraf Mumtaj banate rahiye.

∙ Jab jab ghire badal teri yaad ayi,


Jab jhoom ke barsa sawan teri yaad ayi,
Jab-jab mein bhiga teri yaad ayi,
Ab raha nahin jata, Chatri Lauta de Bhai.

∙ Kya lekar aaya tha?


Kya lekar jayega?
Mujhe SMS na karke zaalim,
Tu kitna chillar bachayega?

∙ Aahat si koi aaye to lagta hai ki tum ho,


Saya sa koi lehraye to lagta hai ki tum ho,
Ab tumhi batao tum kya kisi bhoot se kam ho?

∙ Aey mere SMS mere dost ke pass jana,


Agar wo so raha ho to shor mat machana,
Jab wo jage to dhire se 'Muskarana',
Phir kehna "KANJUS" SMS karo!

∙ Dil ka dard dil todne wale kya jane,


Pyar ke rivazon ko zamana kya jane,
Hoti hai kitni takleef ladki patane mein,
Ye ghar pe baitha ladki ka baap kya jaane.

∙ Bazu-o-mein dum rakhta hun,


Dil mein gum rakhta hun,
Pata tha SMS ayega tera,
Isliye DISPRIN sang rakhta hun.
∙ Aaj didar, kal yaar, parson pyaar,
phir ekrar, phir intezar, phir takrar,
phir darar, sari mehnat bekar,
aur aakhir mein ek aur devdas at beer bar.

∙ Ramchandra keh gaye siya se aisa kalyug aayega,


Ek dost ek taraf se SMS karega, doosra apna paisa bachayega.

∙ Zindagi ko ek rangin kalpana samjho,


Subah ko sach raat ko sapna samjho,
Bhulana chahte ho sabhi gamo ko to,
Zindagi me mujhe apna samjho.

∙ Jaam pe jaam peene se kya fayeda,


Raat guzri to utar jayegi,
Kisi ki aankhon se peeyo khuda ki kasam,
Umr saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.

∙ Message pe message bhejte ho,


bhej bhej ke bheja kharab karte ho,
bhejte bhi ho to bhejte ho,
khud ka bheja to chalta nahin,
doosron ka bheja hua bhejte ho!

∙ Woh Zindagi hi kya jisme Mohabbat nahi,


Woh Mohabbat hi kya jisme Yaadein nahi,
Woh Yaadein kya jisme Tum nahi,
Aur woh Tum hi kya jiske saath Hum nahi.

∙ Na khwabon me dekha, na nazaron me dekha,


Hazaron me ek humne tum hi ko dekha,
Gum dene wale to har pal hai yahan,
Har pal khushi dene walon me ek aap hi ko dekha.

∙ Zindagi Taj Mahal ho jaye,


Chandani khil ke kamal ho jaye,
Tum jo ban jaao dost mere,
Dil ki dhadkan bhi ek Ghazal ho jaye.

∙ Kudrat ke karishmon mein agar raat na hoti,


To khwab mein unse mulaqat na hoti,
Wo wada to kar gaye ki ayenge khwab mein,
Mare khushi ke neend na aye to kya karen.

∙ Toot jaate hain sabhi rishte magar, Dil se dil ka raabta apni jagah, Dil ko hai tujh se na milne ka yakeen, Tujh se milne
ki dua apni jagah.

∙ Tussi hasde ho saanu hassan waste,


Tussi ronde ho saanu rulaan waste,
Tussi ek vaar ruske te vekho,
Mar jawange tuhanu manaan waste!

∙ Ajnabi galiyon se hum gujra nahi karte,


dard-e-dil liya aur diya nahi karte,
Ye dosti ka rishta sirf tum se hai,
varna itne SMS hum kisiko kiya nahi karte.

∙ Ae dil unki yaad mein rona fizul hai, ansu anmol hai, inko khona fizul hai,
Rote uske liye hain jo tum pe nisar ho, uske liye kya rona jiske ashiq hazaar hon

∙ Yeh such hai doston kisi se pyaar na karna,


Kabhi kisi ka aitbaar na karna,
Tham ke khanjar apne hi hathon mein,
Bedardi se apne dil par vaar na karna.

∙ Ansoon ko ankhon ki dehleez par laya na karo,


Apne dil ki halat kisi ko bataya na karo,
Log muthi bhar namak liye ghumtey hain,
Apne zakhm kisi ko dikhaya na karo.

∙ Missed call to ek bahana hai,


Irada to aapka ek lamha churana he,
Aap chahe humse baat karo ya na karo,
Aap ki yadon mein humara ana jana hai.

∙ Jisne humko chaha, use hum chah na sake,


Jisko chaha usae hum pa na sake,
Yeh samajh lo dil tutne ka khel hai,
Kisi ka toda aur apna bacha na sake.

∙ Raatein gumnam hoti hai,


Din kisike naam hota hai,
Hum zindagi kuch is tarah jite hai,
Ki har lamha sirf doston ke hi naam hota hai.

∙ Kya kahun tujhe? Khwab kahun to toot jayega, dil kahun to bikhar jayega,
Aa tera naam zindagi rakh dun, maut se pehle to tera saath chuut na payega!

∙ Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho,


Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho,
Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho,
Kisi ne sikhaya hai...ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?

∙ Tuhaar chehra Moti samaan, Tuhaar chehra Moti samaan, Tuhaar chehra Moti samaan, Moti hamaar kutte ka naam!

∙ Yun to kisika peecha nahin karte,


Dard-e-dil diya aur liya nahin karte,
Ittefaq ki baat hai ye hamari dosti varna,
Itna kimti SMS kisi ko kiya nahin karte.

∙ Teri yaad rud jandi akhan cho pani banke,


Ki khatya es rooh ne diwani ban ke,
Bhaven ho gaya hun sadi akhan toh dur,
Par dil vich wasya hai pyar di nishani ban ke.

∙ Mere dil te asar tera hi rehnda hai,


Merian galan vich zikar tera hi rehnda hai,
Pata nahi kee rishta hai tera te mera,
Ke es dil nu bas tera hi fikar rehnda hai.

∙ Bari warsi khatan gaya si, khat ke leyanda Taanga;


Bari warsi khatan gaya si, khat ke leyanda Taanga;
Oye agge ki?
Agge Ghora

∙ Akhan di benuri changi nahi hundi,


Sajna kolon doori changi nahi hundi,
Kade kade tan milya kar,
Har vele majboori changi nahi hundi.

∙ Khushiyon par fizaon ka pehra hai,


Na jane kis umeed pe dil thehra hai,
Teri ankhon se jhalakte dard ki kasam,
Yeh dosti ka rishta pyar se gehra hai.

∙ Chand pe kali ghata chati to hogi,


Sitaron ko hansi aati to hogi,
Tum lakh chupao duniya se,
Magar akele mein tumhe apni shakal pe hansi aati toh hogi!

∙ Ishq ke bhi kuch andaz hote hain,


Jagti ankhon mein bhi khawab hote hain,
Zaroori nahi k gam mein ansu nikle,
Muskurati ankhon mein bhi sailab hote hain.

∙ Kal tera viah hoju, sada dil te akhian roan giyan,


Asin granth sahib chuk k laijange terian lavan kidan hongian.

∙ Yaar ne dil ka haal batana chod diya, humne bhi gehrai main jana chod diya,
Aap ne SMS karna kya band kiya, humne mobile charge karna chod diya!

∙ Moat k baad yaad aa raha hai koi, mitti meri kabr se utha raha hai koi,
Ya khuda do pal ki mohlat aur de de, udas meri kabr se ja raha hai koi.

∙ Sehmi-2 nigahon mein khwab hum saja denge,


Suni suni rahon pe phool hum khila denge,
Aap hamare sung muskura kar to dekho,
Aap har gam bhula denge.

∙ Rok deo mere janaze nu mere vich jaan aa gai hai,


Saaleyo peeche mudh ke dekho SHARAB di dukan aa gai hai┘.CHEERS!

∙ Raat hogi to chand duhai dega,


Khawabon mein aapko woh chehra dikhai dega,
Ye mohabbat hai zara sochke karna,
Ek aansoo bhi gira ti sunai dega.

∙ Dil mein ek shor ho raha hai, bina SMS dil bore ho raha hai,
Kahin aisa tho nahin ke ek pyara sa dost, mujhse door ho raha hai.

∙ Kal Mila Waqt To Zufain Teri Suljha Doonga,


Aaaj Uljha Hoon Zara Waqt Ke Sulajhne Mein,
Yoon To Sulajh Jatee hein Uljhee Zulfain,
Umar Kat Jati Hai Waqt Ke Sulajhne Mein

∙ Har karz dosti ka ada kaun karega, jab hum hi na rahenge to dosti kaun karega,
Aey khuda mere doston ko salamat rakhna, varna mere jeene ki dua kaun karega.

∙ Suni zindagi mein halchal si mehsoos hui, bejaan dil ki aaj dhadkan mehsus hui,
Jane aaj kyu aisa laga, shayad aapki kami mehsoos hui.

∙ Kaun rakhta hai yaad namo ko, log chehre tak bhul jate hai,
Tum samandar ki baat karte ho, log aankho me dub jate hai.

∙ Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga, pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh
lun phir usse mera ka khayal aaya hoga.

∙ Humne socha tha ki shayad, hum hi chahte hai tumko, par tumhe chahne wala to kafila nikla,
Dil ne kaha shikayat kar khuda se, paar khuda bhi tera chahne wala nikla.

∙ Tere Dar pe, Arz kiya hian ki


tere der pe sanam hazar baar ayengey,
tere der pe sanam hazar baar ayengey,
Ghanti bajayengey aur bhaag jayengey.

∙ Manzil ki taraf badhte raho.


Jo dil kahe usi rah ko chuno,
peeche walon ko age na jaane do
aur jo aage hai unse aage niklo.
Tabhi 1 acche Truck Driver banoge.

∙ Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,


gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
tum kar do ek SMS yeh gujarish hai meri,
tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.

∙ Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur
underwear daily.

∙ Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?


Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

∙ There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.
∙ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho... Kuch nahi yaar bas
aapki shakal yaad aa gayi!

∙ It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's
called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

∙ Ki kariye lokan da, har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne,


Je sms na kariye ta kanjoos, te je kariye ta Vehla kehnde ne!

∙ Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c


Oh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c

∙ What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?


Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

∙ Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV chahe 14"
ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.

∙ How do u know when kids start to grow up?


Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!

∙ A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?


Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for SELFISH.

∙ Fill in the blank with yes or NO only.


_______I M NOT A Male.
Koi jaldi nahin hai, aaram se soch kar bata dena.

∙ Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Brandy milao
to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

∙ Basanti: Bhaag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.
Dhanno: Tujhe apni padi hai. Meri soch jiske peeche Gabbar ke 10 ghode pade hain

∙ Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always
been a headache!

∙ In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r Nitrates


Gal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.

∙ Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete
without boys.

∙ Namashkar, yeh hamari faltoo SMS seva hai, is mein hum logon ko waqt-bewaqt tang karte hain. Is seva ka labh
uthane ke liye shukriya, ab aap apna kaam kariye.

∙ I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start
luving more ALPHABETS...!

∙ Ramchandra kah gaye siya se, aisa kalyug aayega, sifr ek dost SMS karega, dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega!

∙ Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo saare samaj ko khatam kar rahi hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum
khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.

∙ Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together............Who?
Your bum cheeks!!

∙ Tum Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera
Kya hain Log Tumhe hi Paagal kahenge! Ha ha ha!

∙ SMS ka sangrah karke kya paayega vats...? Balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar... Mitron se sampark banaye rakhne se hi
moksha ki prapti hogi... Swami Messageanand.

∙ I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.┘┘. Nice Ass!!!

∙ A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at work?'
He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.'
∙ Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

∙ When I go wrong, I need ur hand 2 correct, wen emotions bust out, I need ur hand 2 catch, wen I win, I need ur hand 2
pat. In short:Ye Haath Mujhe De De Thakur

∙ Today is the International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to someone who fits the description! Don▓t
send it back; I've already received hundreds.

So Sweet is ur SMILE,
So Sweet is ur STYLE,
So Sweet is ur VOICE,
So Sweet is ur EYE,
see .......how Sweetly I Lie.

∙ The Madrasi said: I want to see the movie 'Heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?
Dil Chhata Hai.......

∙ Geeta Sar: SMS kar aur bhool ja, reply ki apeksha mat rakh, kiya hua SMS kabhi veyarth nahi jaata, Sabko apne kiye
hue SMS ka reply milta hi hai!

∙ Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds...... Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10
seconds in thinking of a fool.

∙ God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you...
well everybody makes mistakes.

∙ I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My heart started singing a sweet
song: Who Let The Dog Out!

∙ When words fail... eyes work,


when eyes fail... heart works,
and when heart fails... to kya?,
samajh le TAPAK gaya 'MAAMU'

∙ The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her
mouth shut!

∙ Geet Ka Saar: SMS woh gyaan hai jo baantne se badta hai, isiliye he praani tu bill ka moh tyag de aur SMS kar, isi se
tera manushaya janm safal hoga.

∙ Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali, jis mod se gujro wahan ke har ghar se
awaaz aaye, Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!

∙ Tum sada haste raho, sada muskurate raho, khush raho, gun-gunate raho, hamesha mast raho. Mera kya hai, log tumhe
hi PAGAL kahenge!

∙ May the fleas of thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too
short to scratch.

∙ Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence.
Student: WOW !

∙ I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner & say those three sweet words to you....Pay
The Bill.

∙ Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy.

∙ When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with
me I'll take u to an eye specialist!

∙ Your smile can be compared to a flower, ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo, ur innocence to a child, but in
stupidity u have no comparison you r the best.

∙ If u want the latest MERCEDES BENZ on easy installments of 10 yrs without any down payment.......log onto our
website: www.kutteapniaukatmeinrah.com.
∙ Mom: Andy, where r u off to now?
Son: I`m gonna join the army.
Mom: But, legally u r only an infant.
Son: That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry.

∙ Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.

∙ Sometimes when u cry, no 1 sees ur tears. Sometimes when u r worried, no 1 sees ur pain. Sometimes when u r happy,
no 1 sees ur smile. But fart just once...

∙ Think big, think smart, think positive, think beautiful, think great, I know this is too much for you, so here is a
shortcut... just think about ME!

∙ Today, tommorow and yesterday there'll be one heart that would always beat for you. You know Whose?
Your Own Stupid!

∙ When u smile the world smiles with u. Wen u r down people'll rally behind u but when u fart u r alone coz people'll
never stand by u!

∙ This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn't even
tell me?
Animal Planet!

∙ If u want success in life; be Sweet like Honey, Regular like Clock, Fresh like Rose, Soft like Tissue, Strong like Rock,
Sure like Death & smart like ME.

∙ Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers it's
simply because mental patient needs more care.

∙ Q: What's the difference between gud & bad gals? A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot
by loosening a few buttons!

∙ If I ever go for a brain transplant I▓d like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that
has never been used.

∙ Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother.


Yes, but be aware, pay attention during the applause.

∙ Q: Why do men fart more often than women?


A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.

∙ Namaskar. This is All India Anti -Sleep Association Mid Night Service. Our Aim is 2 Disturb the Sleep of Others.
Thank You.

∙ A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

∙ Tussi brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking, intelligent, respectful, kind, ideal sohne sunakhe Punjabi
gabru da sms par rahe ho.

∙ When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep
guessing why I sent it to u.

∙ My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I'll be successful and if I don't reach my goal, I'll still be successful.

∙ Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome you are, it is not your figure too, beauty is the inner self, so
change your underwear daily.

∙ Jab tum hanstey ho to lagta hai ki insaan pehle bandar tha!


Dekho gussa mat karo kyonki jab tum gussa karte ho to lagta hai ki insaan aaj bhi bandar hai.

∙ Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your shitty ideas from!

∙ Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur
kids n my kids r beating our kids.

∙ Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
∙ Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain.

∙ A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.

∙ Yaad mein tumhari mujhe loose motions lag gaye hain. Hain to ye aanso per lagta hai raata bhatak gaye hain.

∙ Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums.

∙ Osama to Big B: How are you??


Big B: Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And you?
Osama: Bas Kabhi Gola Kabhi Bum.

∙ Look at the ocean & see God's abundance! Look at the sky & see God's glory! Look at the moon & see God's wonder!
Look at the mirror & see God's Blunder!

∙ Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?


A: A Moti-vaiting.

∙ Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo pure samaj ko khatam kar deti hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum
khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.

∙ Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?
Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna.

∙ Gujju lover: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!
Premika: Dhokla.

∙ Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut
like U.

∙ Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough
space for another girl on top.

∙ Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another
girlfriend.

∙ Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others & legends never talk,
they send SMS.

∙ The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents' advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from
ignoring ours.

∙ When u r down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don't just think of me,
call me up, my incoming is free.

∙ Look at the world around u; u▓ll see God's creativity. Look at the breakfast table; u▓ll c God's providence. Look at
the mirror u▓ll c God's sense of humor.

∙ A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes... No fun, send mon, your son!
Dad write back saying...so sad, too bad, your dad!

∙ You should do two things in the morning...Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.

∙ Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?


A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences

∙ God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere
he made a mother-in-law.

∙ I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry Ii cry. U lauf I lauf. U jump out of the window... I look
down &then... I lauf again

∙ The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on
you?
∙ I've written a poem for you:
Twinkle twinkle little star,
you should know what you are,
and once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

∙ What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

∙ Banta: How does an attorney sleep?


Santa: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.

∙ Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys below them and ones at the
bottom see only assholes above them.

∙ I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need to
go to a Restroom?

∙ A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes... vaat
ees yorr opeeniun?

∙ Hi! Need one girl to marry... Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but girl's father must have his own
bar...CHEERS

SantaBanta SMS
( 1-10 of 51 ) Next >>

∙ What's the difference between a person who is committing suicide & a virgin? One is trying to die... the other is dying
to try

∙ Teacher: Explain Responsibility?


Pappu: Madam ur blouse has 4 buttons, if 3 buttons break down the entire responsibility'll b on the 4th one

∙ Jeeto goes 2 repair umbrella. The man said: Upar ka kapda nikalna padega, Neeche se danda dalna padega.
Jeeto: Kuch bhi karo but pani andar nahi ana chaiye

∙ Banta: Y is reading a Playboy mag like reading National Geographic?


Santa: Coz in both u'll get to see a lot of gr8 places, which u'll never get to visit.

∙ A female Press Reporter slaps Santa. Banta standing near asks Santa: Y did she slap u?
Santa: On her T-shirt was written 'Press', so I just pressed┘

∙ Santa was asked to give a talk on Sex


He walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone & said: Ladies n Gentlemen, it gives me gr8 pleasure...
And sat back down

∙ Preeto: Suno ji, aaj phir billi dudh pi gayee.


Santa: Main tainu kinni vaari keha hai ki apne blouse de button band karke soya kar.

∙ Santa to Amli: Yaar thodi jahi afeem devin kise nu deni hai.
Amli: Oye afeem khake loki lende tan bahut dekhe ne par den wala tu hi milaya.

∙ Santa: Yaar meri biwi pani se bahut darti hai.


Banta: Achaa, wo kaise?
Santa: Kal mein jab ghar gaya to wo bath tub mai bhi security guard ke saath baithi thi

∙ Santa runing after a bus n, catches it n asks the Driver: Ye bus teri Ma lagti hai?
Nahin.
To kya Behan lagti hai?
Nahin.
To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?

∙ Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.


Lady: Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa: Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

∙ Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade. When the girl arrives, both
Santa and Banta shout together: Yahi thee, Yahi thee"

∙ Q: What is the best family planning slogan on a municipal bus?


A: Kripaya aage se nahin peeche se chadhiye.

∙ Santa was pissing when a gal saw his huge penis & said naughtily: Wow I wud luv to have that.
Santa: Go & get a cup, I'm about to finish.

∙ Judge: Y do u want divorce?


Banta: She doesn't satisfy me in bed!
Preeto: Tu aithey dc lagyan? Sari colony khush aa, ik teri agg nahin bhujdi.

∙ Teacher: What do you call a man that doesn't use contraceptives?


Pappu: Daddy.

∙ A man is doing push ups on the beach. Drunk Santa sees him and starts laughing loudly and says:
Sorry to tell you but the women below you has already left.

∙ Judge: U want to divorce Santa 4 threatening u with a deadly weapon?


Jeeto: No, ur honor. I'm divorcing him 4 threatening me every night with a dead weapon.

∙ Jeeto: Kal ek aadmi aya aur mere sath sex karke chala gaya.
Santa: Tumne use roka nahi?
Jeeto: Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga.

∙ Santa was sukin girlfriend's breasts.


Gal got excited n said: Tussi hor kuch chahney ho?
Santa: Doodh naal biscuit milangey?

Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaane hain, us hisab se rate lagega?
Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai

∙ Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.


Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat

∙ Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what
he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.

∙ Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks:
Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.

∙ Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?

∙ Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?


Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

∙ An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.


Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

∙ Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.


Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

∙ Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.


Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

∙ Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.


When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more

Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more

∙ Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.
∙ A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn▓t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out

∙ Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?


Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

∙ Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?


Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.

∙ Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?


Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

∙ Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.

∙ Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long.....!

∙ Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?


Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

∙ Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi

∙ Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.


Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

∙ Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM

∙ An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.


Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

∙ Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

∙ Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

∙ Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

∙ Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR.
She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It▓s a gal

∙ Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?


Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.

∙ Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?


Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

∙ Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

∙ Santa Banta zid kar rahe c monkey dekhan di... so tuhade ghar da address dita hai. Yaar 2-4 tapusian maar ke dikha
deo bichare khush ho jaan ge.

∙ Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?


Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.
∙ Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

∙ Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?


Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

∙ Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.


Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

∙ Santa: Why Americans stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?
Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes.

∙ Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

∙ Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.


Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

∙ Dress code 4 a party - BLACK TIES ONLY.


Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!

∙ Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

∙ Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

∙ A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?


Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

∙ Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'

∙ Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?


A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

∙ Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.


Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven▓t u heard train is coming on platform?

∙ Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry
Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.

∙ Santa saw a beautiful gal... he went and smooched her.


Gal - What are you doing?
Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.

∙ Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta
ni laga.

∙ Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan
oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?

∙ Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.


Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

∙ Banta was driving down the highway past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms."
By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.
∙ Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.

∙ Jeeto: Why do Farts stink?


Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!

∙ Santa: I▓m a proud father. My son is in medical college.


Banta: What▓s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

∙ At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.

∙ Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "


A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

∙ Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?


A: Because it was an entrance exam.

∙ Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!


Banta: Oh! That▓s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."

∙ Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.

∙ Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.

∙ What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.

∙ Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.


Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

∙ Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?


A: He wanted to see butterfly!

∙ Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.


Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

∙ Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?


Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.

∙ Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

∙ Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.

∙ Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?


Santa: It beats, beats, beats....

∙ Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

∙ Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka
bharwata hoon."

∙ Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

∙ Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!

∙ Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It▓s
****. Sant: U r wrong. It▓s 1394.

∙ Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa
whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"

∙ Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'

∙ Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a
mouth wash?"

Get your own back


Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home
You: Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener

Them: I never forget a face


You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception

Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?

Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.

I think the sun shines out of your arse.


Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.

Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today

Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing

Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own

He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works

Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop


Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo

If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat

If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in

Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.

Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut

Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going

Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails

YOU CAN USE THESE COOL FRIENDSHIP MESSAGES TO SMS YOUR FRIENDS.

Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all angels in heaven know I need u. years may fly, tears may dry, but my
friendship with u will never die.

One day u will ask me: What is more important to you, me or your life? I will say: my life… You will walk away from
me without knowing that U R MY LIFE!!!
Feel good when somebody Miss u. Feel better when somebody Loves u. But feel best when somebody never forgets u.

A friend is sweet when its new….but it is sweeter when its TRUE! But u know what? Its sweetest when its you.

A friend gives hope when life is low, a friend is a place when you have nowhere to go, a friend is honest, a friend is
true. A friend is precious a friend is u.

If kisses were water, I will give u sea. If hugs were leaves, I will give u a tree.If u luv a planet, I will give u a galaxy, if
friendship is life I will give u mine.

People live People die People Laugh People Cry Some give up Some will try Some say hi Some say bye Others may
forget YOU but never will I.

If I were to be anything in this world…. I’d be ur tears!!!… So, I can be conceived in ur heart, born in ur eyes, live on
ur cheeks & die on ur lips!!!!!

If u r a chocolate ur the sweetest, if u r a Teddy Bear u r the most huggable, If u are a Star u r the Brightest, and since u
r my “FRIEND” u r the “BEST”!!!!!!!!!

A special friend is rare indeed, it beems to be special breed, yes, perfect friends r very few, so lucky I m for having you.

They say it takes a minute 2 fine a special person, an hour 2 appreciate them, a day 2 love them, but then an entire life 2
forget them.

When God opened the window of the Heaven He asked me: What is your wish for today? “I said : please take special
care of the person reading this!!!!!!!”

Time might lead me to nowhere and faith might break into pieces but I will always be THANKFUL that once in my
life’s journey we became FRIENDS!

It takes half our life to find true friends & half of it keeping them. I am lucky to have spent less than half my life
finding you & wish to spend the rest keeping you.

In my life I learned how… 2 love 2 smile 2 be happy 2 be strong 2 work hard 2 be honest 2 be faithful 2 forgive but I
couldn’t learn how.. 2 stop rembering u.

A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.

Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never
ending.

U got style, u got sex-appeal, u got the intelligence and u sure got the body. Wait. Sorry, wrong number!

Of all the gifts, big and small, your friendship is the greatest of them all.

A ring is round and has no end, that's how long I'll be your friend!!!

The morning is just a few moments away. Go to sleep and when you wake up, remember me as a friend who is always
there for you and never let you down

Yes, God made you first, but there is always a rough draft before the final copy.
The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down.
We apologize for any inconvenience.

If you are in trouble, If you need a hand, Just call my number, because I'm your friend!

Whenever I see your smiling face, I have to smile myself, because I like you, you're my friend!!!

Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

Those who think that things happen too fast are expected in a bank or a post office!

Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open to receive friends. And a garden full of
memories.... of many good things.

You cannot buy friendship, you can earn it. If someone comes for help, be a true friend !

A friend is always welcome ... Early in the morning or late at night. Time is of no importance ... When it concerns real
friendship!!

Friendship is a wonderful word, it might be the most beautiful one on earth. Friendship is something powerful, a gift of
great value!

No gold or precious stones ... give us happiness and peace, friendship and its warmth ... will bring it to us

There is a big difference between friendship and a rose... Roses last only a while ... but friendship is for ever

I asked God 4 a flower, he gave me a garden. Asked 4 a tree, he gave me a forest. Asked 4 a river, he gave me an
ocean. Asked 4 a friend, he gave me you

Friends are like stars... you don't see them all the time, but you know they're there!

Life is not easy and it will never be, but you've got friends and one of them is me ...

I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if
you promise to remain my friend !!!

When friendship is deeply rooted, it is a plant that cannot even be uprooted by a storm....

My "aim" in life is: die young when I am very old.

When you are lazy, you cannot help it. When you are tired, that is your own fault.

A friend is someone who knows when you need her...

A ring is round and has no end, so is my love for you my friend.

If my head looks like yours, I'd shave my rear end and walked on my hands.

Mirrors should be able to think before reflecting the images.

A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and who can sing it for you when you have forgotten it

Friend: someone who tells you things while you are alive, things that others tell after you die

You can eat and drink together, talk and laugh together, enjoy life together, but you are only real friends when you also
cried together.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god's angels watch over you.

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver the other gold.

A little clown is living in my heart. Small and very special. It can dance and jump, laugh and sing. Are you in pain and
you need to cry, come and borrow it!
I would not call myself important, but I am convinced that when I was not born, everyone would like to know why.

The only good thing about your own mistakes, is that is might make other people happy.

Not the lack of love, but the lack of friendship makes marriages unhappy.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

I MaY Not Be a cLocK ThaT maY TexT yOu 24hrs a DaY But My HeArt Will bE LikE a CloCk ThAt will nOt sToP
CarIng & SayInG U r aLwaYs RemeMbEreD. TakE CaRe.

The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but really beautiful moments.... Forever engraved in our
hearts.... Friends forever~!!!

KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u...
but in my HEART I swear I'm keeping U..

We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still friends by DECISION. And when we say
FRIEND FOREVER, that's definitely a lifetime PROMISE!

If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden & cultivate you with love and care so I can
keep you as a friend 4ever!!

When i'm walking in front of u,I'm protecting u. When i'm beside u i'm there for u, when i'm behind u, I'm watching
over u. When i'm alone,I'm thinking of u.

A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be your friend.

There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, dats the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i
have in u!

Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never dies although we may change & drift apart, ill
always value u deep within my heart!

A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will
treasure the friendship between us.

Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends listen to what you don't say...

Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know they are always there for you...

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have
Friendship, each day is never a waste.

Good frenz are like quilts... it never loses its warmth...

GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags, Because..... if He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND
like YOU!!!

thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE
tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe...

True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.

FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U see but
how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!

FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT To Have An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS
FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN GoLd~!

If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ...........
THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE
GROWN...

In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND,
beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!

I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.

The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.

I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N
even if they do they will meet again.

I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we
love but we never lose true friends.

EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE reAlisED tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING,
WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U...

We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing: YOU WILL NEVER LOSE ME! I will always be there
as a friend!

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but really beautiful moments.... Forever engraved in our
hearts.... Friends forever~!!!

We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still friends by DECISION. And when we say
FRIEND FOREVER, that's definitely a lifetime PROMISE!

If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden & cultivate you with love and care so I can
keep you as a friend 4ever!!

A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be your friend.

There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, dats the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i
have in u!

Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never dies although we may change & drift apart, ill
always value u deep within my heart!

A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will
treasure the friendship between us.

Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends listen to what you don't say...

I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look
down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha

Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know they are always there for you...

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have
Friendship, each day is never a waste.

Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just
like us... i get BETTER, u get OLDER.

The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have
a friend like YOU! :)

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends, Charming, Funny, well... Enough about ME!
How about you?
If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you can take the 1st step to get near me and i will take all
99 step to be there for you.

6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more
& Always have ME as UR FRIEND

Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll always be thankful that once, along my life's journey I
found a friend like U...

Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with enough $money$ you can buy them back.

A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good
friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams...

I have seen angels in the sky… I have seen snowfall in july… I have seen things u only imAgine to see… But I
haven’t seen anything sweeter than u.

There r many stars but the moon is u, there are many friends but the best is u,, To forget me that’s up to u,,, To forget u
I will never ever do.

U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart, U may be out of my reach but not out of my mind.I may mean
nothing to u but u will always be special to me!!

How can u tell the rain not 2 fall when clouds exist? How can u tell the leaves not 2 fall when wind exist? How can u
tell me not to fall in friendship when u exist.

Knowing a friend like u has made me happy in a million ways And if Ever I Have to Let you go………..I would Find a
million reasons to make u stay!!!!

If I m in hell & u in heaven, I always look up & be proud of u. but if I were In heaven & u in hell, I beg God 2 send me
down coz heaven wont be heaven without u.

Life is 4 u, death is 4 me, being happy is 4 u, being sad is 4 me, being together is 4 u, being lonely is 4 me, everything 4
u but u r 4 me.

If I could pull down the rainbow I would write ur name with it & put it back in the sky to let everybody know how
colorful my life is with a friend like u!!

Never say ur happy when ur sad… never say ur fine when ur not ok… never say u feel good when u feel bad… and
never say ur alone when I m still alive.

Sometimes my mind asked why? I miss u, Why? I care 4u, Why? I remember u then my heart answered its simply
b’coz you are a sweet friend!!

Friendship quotes & quotations

FRIENDSHIP POEMS BEST FRIENDS POEMS INSPIRATIONAL FRIENDSHIP POEMS SWEET


FRIENDSHIP POEMS FRIENDSHIP FOR GRANTED ? Cute Friendship Quotes

Quotes on Friendship, Friendship Day :


Nice Friendship Quote : "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you
are slightly cracked." -- Bernard Meltzer.

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome Cummings

Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends. -- Cindy Lew

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure. -- Jewish Saying

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."
-- Elbert Hubbard

"Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure."


-- Jewish saying

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. -- Aristotle

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.


Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.-- Albert Camus

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."


-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.-- Abraham Lincoln

Hold a true friend with both your hands. -- Nigerian Proverb

"A faithful friend is the medicine of life."


-- Apocrypha

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are
never, ever the same.-- Anonymous

Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find one good you must one hundred try. -- Claude Mermet

"Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil."


-- Baltasar Gracian (1647)

"Friendship needs no words..."


-- Dag Hammarskjold.

"Friends are the sunshine of life."


-- John Hay (1871)

"The best mirror is an old friend."


--George Herbert

More Friendship quotes :

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none. -- Hasidic Saying

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.-- Walter Winchell

Friends are needed both for joy and for sorrow. -- Samuel Paterson

Friendship is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world.-- John Evelyn

Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief.-- Swedish proverb

A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.-- Anonymous

Count your age with friends but not with years - Anonymous

Plant a seed of friendship; reap a bouquet of happiness. -- Lois L. Kaufman


"I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or better
than friendship."
-- Pietro Aretino (1537)

"There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends."
-- Hillaire Belloc

"The rain may be falling hard outside,


But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit."


-- Aristotle (4th century B.C.)

"Friendship is essentially a partnership."


-- Aristotle (4th century B.C.)

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his
fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."
-- The Bible: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.

"A friend loves at all times."


-- The Bible: Proverbs 17, 17.

"A companion loves some agreeable qualities which a man may possess, but a friend loves the man himself."
-- James Boswell (1763)

"Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another."
-- Eustace Budgell (1711)

"Friendship is Love without his wings!"


-- Lord Byron (1806)

"Friendship makes prosperity more brilliant, and lightens adversity by dividing and sharing it."
-- Cicero (44 B.C.)

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost"
-- Charles Caleb Colton (1825)

"Every man passes his life in the search after friendship."


-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature."


-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere."


-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"We do not so much need the help of our friends as the confidence of their help in need."
-- Epicurus (3rd century B.C.)

"Friends show their love in times of trouble..."


-- Euripides (408 B.C.)

"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."


-- Euripides (408 B.C.)

"A good friend is my nearest relation."


-- Thomas Fuller (1732)

"My friend is he who will tell me my faults in private."


-- Solomon Ibn Gabirol

"Your friend is your needs answered."


-- Kahil Gibran
"Let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit."
-- Kahil Gibran.

"Let your best be for your friend..."


-- Kahil Gibran

"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures."
-- Kahil Gibran

"A sympathetic friend can be quite as dear as a brother."


-- Homer (9th century B.C.)

"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a
drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over."
-- Samuel Johnson

"However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship."
-- La Rochefoucauld (1665)

"A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care to acquire."
-- La Rochefoucauld (1665)

"I shot an arrow into the air,


It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,


It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, who has sight so keen and strong
That it can follow the flight of song?

Long, long afterward, in an oak


I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend."
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people, than you can in two years by
trying to get other people interested in you."
-- Bernard Meltzer

"Love is rarer than genius itself. And friendship is rarer than love." -- Charles Peguy

"There can be no Friendship where there is no Freedom." -- William Penn

"No man is useless while he has a friend." -- Robert Louis Stevenson

"A friend is a present you give yourself." -- Robert Louis Stevenson

"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose." -- Tehyi Hsieh

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with." -- Mark
Twain

An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.-- Proverbs 24:26

"A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." -- Len Wein

"You cannot be friends upon any other terms than upon the terms of equality."
-- Woodrow Wilson

It is not what you give your friend, but what you are willing to give him that determines the quality of friendship. --
Mary Dixon Thayer
A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world. -- Leo Buscaglia

Advice from your friends in like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad.
-Anonymous

It's the ones you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that really matter.-- Marlene Dietrich

Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.


-Samuel Paterson

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. -- Sicilian Proverb

Good friends are good for your health.-Irwin Sarason

The language of friendship is not words but meanings. -- Henry David Thoreau

True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled
to the appellation. -- George Washington

I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.
-Sydney Smith

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
-Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the
quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business. -- Mahatma Gandhi

One of the surest evidences of friendship that one individual can display to another is telling him gently of a fault. If
any other can excel it, it is listening to such a disclosure with gratitude, and amending the error.-- Edward Bulwer-
Lytton

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!-- Doug Larson

A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else. -- Len Wein

Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends. -- Czech. Proverb

Friendship is to be purchased only by friendship. A man may have authority over others, but he can never have their
hearts but by giving his own. -- Thomas Wilson

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
You can only go as far as you push.
Actions speak louder than words.
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
Don't let the past hold you back; you're missing the good stuff.
Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while, you might miss it.
A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might mean the world to someone else.
When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there
True friendship never ends.
Friends are forever.
Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
NOBODY IS PERFECT UNTIL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM. (Isn't that the truth?)
Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
Most people walk in and out of you life. But only friends leave footprints in your heart.

Send this on to everyone special in your life, even the people who really make you mad sometimes. Whether we realize
it or not, everyone we know is very special to us. When we look back on our younger years, we will remember the
people who went to school with us, the people who made us laugh, the people who hung out with us when nobody else
would, and the people who made our lives much better simply by being a part of it.
There may be somebody who is thinking about you RIGHT NOW and wishing that you were around. That's the
wonderful thing about friendship-you always feel loved and cared about.

The most important thing to remember is... Always appreciate the friends that you have. A fight may come and go very
easily, but a friendship could last forever. For every second spent in anger, a minute of happiness is wasted. So send
this to your friends and let them know that you care.

3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught
reading this txt message. hehehe

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,


Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,
Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon.

Kya bindas hava chal rahi hai, birdy gaana ga rahe hain,
Cow log grass eat rahe hain,
shaane log SMS kar rahe hain
aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahe hain

Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi.


Sagar se gahara koi nahi.
Aab aapki kya tarif karu...
Dost me aap jaisa...
Nalayak koi nahi!

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,


RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was
caught reading this txt message

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs
is reading this

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds
dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

Why were males created before females?


Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how
u...eat an ice cream!

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next
morn buy it back for 50p.

Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than
you is a maniac?

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?


A:About 45 pounds!!

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...

There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months
pregnant.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?


How do you breathe through that thing?

What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?


Popeye beat the crap outta him.

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.

What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?


If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?


Magnets have a positive side!

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?


The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?


Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?


He was looking for Pooh!

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?


You don't, you've told her twice already!

What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?


One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.

Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?


Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

Funny SMS

What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.

Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.

Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.

Whits pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran!

What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!

What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who knows everything.

How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

A: We don't know. Never happens.

Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?

A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.

Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?

A: An f****ing know it all.

A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food
here".

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.

I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.


I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

My Reality Check bounced.

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.

Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!

Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

What do you call a handcuffed man?


- Trustworthy.

Funny sms jokes

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Why don't men often show their true feelings?


- Because they don't have any. 1

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?


- E.T. phoned home.

What is the thinnest book in the world?


What Men Know About Women.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

How Dogs and Women are alike.....


Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?

Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.

Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He drowned.
Wisdom Messages

☻A smile is a curve that can.Straighten out a lot of things.

☻life is short! if you dont look around once in a while you might miss it

☻Those who are afraid to fall, will never fly

☻Love ur enemys... It really ticks them off

☻If you don't Stand for Something.You will Fall for Everything

☻da poorest man on earth is not da 1 without money, but is da 1 without a dream

☻To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the
world

☻It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for what your not

☻Be yourself, there are enough other people

☻dont frown,you never know whos falling in love with ur smile

☻if u can stay calm while every1 else is goin mad ... u probably havnt completely understood the situation!

☻FRIENDS are like stars┘you do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they are always there!..

☻A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes. A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever

☻Dont b afraid 2 expose yourself.Reach out and tell sum1 wot they mean 2 u coz when u decide its the right time it
might b 2 late!

☻Sumtimes its harder 2 say no wen u really mean yes.Its hard 2 close ur eyes wen u really want 2 see.But the hardest
thing 2 do is to let go wen u want to stay

☻What do you do when the only person who can stop you crying, is the person who makes you cry in the first place?

☻You might regret what you do- but you'll you regret what you don't do SO much more

☻2 let go doesnt mean 2 stop carin.2 let go is to learn theres sumthin beyond.2 let go means acceptin reality.2 let go is
lovin more coz u only want the best.

☻If you are the flame you can't be burned

☻Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery.today is a gift that is why we call it the present!

☻Intelligence is like a river. The deeper it is the less noise it makes

☻The virtue of love isnt finding the perfect person, but by loving the imperfect person perfectly.

☻If love isnt a game then why are there so many players?

☻u luv coz u weep.u weep coz u hurt.u hurt coz u fail.u fail coz u try.u try coz u need.u need coz u want.u want coz u
feel.u feel coz u live.u live coz u luv

☻have u eva notcied a heart is two upside down teardrops

☻they say true love is just round the corner i must be walking in circles

☻Luv is like a glass. If u break it, its hard to fix, And even if you manage that , it’ll never be the same.

☻People say dat wen luv comes knocking on ur door let it in.But sumtimes luv comes through a backdoor & by the
time u notice its on its way out.

☻God gave u 2 legs to walk.2 hands to hold.2 ears to hear.2 eyes to see.But why did he giv u only 1 Heart? Probably
because He wants you to look for the other
☻Some thoughts are better kept unsaid.some feelings are better kept to urself.because love has its way of expressing
itself despite the silence.

☻True love doesnt have a happy ending.True love doesnt have an ending!

☻Love is like a rose it blossoms then dies.

☻Dont find love.let love find you.That's why it's called falling in love coz you dont force yourself to fall- you just do!

☻If you want me to fall for you- you have to give me something worth tripping over.

☻love is not how u 4get but how u forgive.not how u listen but how u understand.not what u see but what u feel & not
how u let go but how u hold on.

☻Love is like quicksand the deeper you fall in the harder it is to get out

☻It hurts 2 luv sum1 who doesnt giv u d time of day.but it hurts more wen u realize dat sum1 u dont giv d time of day
luved u & gave it up coz u luved another

☻Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart

☻love can sometimes be magic- but magic can sometimes be an ILLUSION!

☻*In Reality*┘. The Player Isn't Actually Playing The Other Person...He's Playing Himself...

☻You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see.but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

☻the hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love. love somebofy else

☻People Fall in love not knowin y nor how.Its so special a feelin dat it doesnt require much answers.U just love no
matter how stupid u become.

☻Children playin outside cars can cause accidents.but adults playin inside cars can cause children by accident!

☻Boys should tell their trousers that it ▒s rude to point

☻be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart.for this may mean that there is still enough
space for another girl on top

☻Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where you live when your are old.

☻When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself why isn't he taken?

☻boys r like mascara, dey run on da first sign of emotion

☻while w8ing 4 d right person 2 come- play & hav fun with d wrong 1.but b careful with who u play with bcoz dat
person mite b d right 1 all along

☻If you fool me once shame on you.If you fool me twice shame on me.

☻Guys are like roses- watch out for the pricks

KILL THAT LOSER WITH SOME CRACKING TXT INSULTS

☻Them:
You:
Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home
Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener

☻Them:
You: I never forget a face
Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception

☻Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?


Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
☻I think the sun shines out of your arse.
Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.
☻Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.
☻Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
☻Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
☻Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own
☻He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words
☻I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works
☻Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop
☻Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo
☻If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat
☻If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in
☻Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.
☻Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
☻Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut
☻Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going
☻Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails

☻Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

☻Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

☻I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.

☻You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

☻Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

☻Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

☻Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

☻Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

☻You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

☻All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.

☻I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

☻You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

☻He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

☻Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

☻If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!

☻You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

☻You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

☻I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

☻Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

☻Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

☻Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

☻I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.

☻Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and
cultured.

☻I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
☻Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

☻You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!

☻I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

☻Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!

☻I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'

☻4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN


dogs obey wen u shout @ dem
dogs dont shop
u can giv away ur dogs children
any guy can get a good lookin dog!

☻Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty..so the
world needs YOU after all!

☻This sms can only be read by someone SEXY


try again
again
maybe you are
just not sexy?
one more time
hey don't force it ugly!!!

☻I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I'd rather look at the moon again..

☻As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of
them.

☻Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.


This describes everything you are not...

☻My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...

☻Roses r red, violets r blue,


Sugar is sweet, and so are u.
But da roses r wilting, da violets r dead, da sugar bowl's empty and so is ur head!

☻ Do I look like a damn people person?

☻This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting

☻Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?

☻Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets:
one to get in and another to get out.

☻I think the sun shines out of your arse.

☻Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.

☻Let's be honest with each other . . .


we've both come here for the same reasons.

☻Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.

☻Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today

☻Brains aren't everything.


In fact in your case they're nothing

☻Don't let you mind wander


- it's far too small to be let out on its own

☻He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" -


but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words
☻I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works

☻Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop

☻If your face had "Welcome" written on it,


it would make a perfect doormat

☻If you put your face by a door,


no one would ever come in

☻Your face is such a mess,


when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.

☻Your face is such a mess,


why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?

☻Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home
You: Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener

☻Them: I never forget a face


You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception

☻Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?

☻Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.

☻I think the sun shines out of your arse.


Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.

☻Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.

☻Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today

☻Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing

☻Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own

☻He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words

☻I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works

☻Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop


Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo

☻If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat

☻If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in

☻Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.

☻Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut

☻Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going

☻Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails

☻I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

☻You're about as subtle as a gynecologist wearing a gas mask and a hair net.

☻You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.

☻Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.

☻May the horses break their harnesses trying to pull my dick out of your mother!
☻Are you typing with your forehead, again?

☻He who laughs last has no sense of humor.

☻Cigarette, A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.

☻A rose by any other name still has thorns.

☻There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

☻Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

☻Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

☻Never deprive someone of hope - it may be all they have.

☻There you go again, flushing the sweet milk of human kindness through the U-bend of cynicism.

☻He has no equal. Everyone else is better.

☻You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

☻He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.

☻His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.

☻A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

☻People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them

☻When he dies, they'll bury him face down, so that he can see where he's going.

☻He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.

☻He'll take off his jacket and put it on the seat next to him on the train, just to stop a pregnant lady from sitting down.

☻He folds his newspaper on the bus so that the guy sitting across from him has to read the news upside down.

☻You couldn't warn to him even if you were both cremated together.

☻We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

☻You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the
issue.

☻Gravity doesn't exist. Earth sucks.

☻He would throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face.

☻People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

☻Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the
world is up to.

☻I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

☻You're about as subtle as a gynecologist wearing a gas mask and a hair net.

☻You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.

☻Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.

☻May the horses break their harnesses trying to pull my dick out of your mother!

☻Are you typing with your forehead, again?

☻He who laughs last has no sense of humor.

☻Cigarette, A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.
☻A rose by any other name still has thorns.

☻There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

☻Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

☻Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

☻Never deprive someone of hope - it may be all they have.

☻There you go again, flushing the sweet milk of human kindness through the U-bend of cynicism.

☻He has no equal. Everyone else is better.

☻You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

☻He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.

☻His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.

☻A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

☻People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them

☻When he dies, they'll bury him face down, so that he can see where he's going.

☻He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.

☻He'll take off his jacket and put it on the seat next to him on the train, just to stop a pregnant lady from sitting down.

☻He folds his newspaper on the bus so that the guy sitting across from him has to read the news upside down.

☻You couldn't warn to him even if you were both cremated together.

☻We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

☻You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the
issue.

☻Gravity doesn't exist. Earth sucks.

☻He would throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face.

☻People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

☻Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the
world is up to

☻Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

☻Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride?

☻Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.

☻For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

☻He's so full of shit, his eyes are brown.

☻He's running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

☻You're so weak, you couldn't knock a sick whore off a shit pot.

☻Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?!

☻Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view.

☻If you can laugh at yourself, you've got a really sick sense of humor.
☻Mother Nature is a supreme bitch.

☻Is that a comeback? For fuck's sake, I wipe my ass with sharper stuff than this.

☻He fashions himself as an Insult Samurai. Insult Kamikaze is more apt.

☻Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

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