Leprechaun IV - Lost in Space by Dennis A.

Pratt

REVISED SHOOTING SCRIPT (1/17/96)

REVISED Buff Gold Green Yellow Pink Blue (2/16/96) (2/12/96) (2/6/96) (1/31/96) (1/30/96) (1/24/96)

FADE IN:

Deep space, infinity bathed in a grayish light that comes from a distant sun. Space debris careens past us, huge rocks capable of wiping out anything in their path. In the midst of all this, a huge space ship passes overhead and we see the lettering, "BEHEMOTH" painted in tight, red letters on the side of the ship, near the bow. 2 INT. ARMORY. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. 2

CLOSE ON A futuristic looking space cannon mounted on stand. We PAN by this cannon, moving left to right down a narrow aisle until we reach PVT. ERNIE KOWALSKI, a born killer wearing a marine uniform and body armor as he lovingly polishes his automatic weapon. PVT. LUCKY SMITH, all American boy, strolls past Kowalski and we FOLLOW him as he clips a rabbits foot to the trigger guard of his automatic weapon. MOOCH, another private, big and sloppy walks into frame and stops Lucky. MOOCH Lucky... ya got a cigarette? LUCKY No... I don't have a cigarette... ask me for a breath mint sometime, why don't ya? Lucky turns and goes the other way. Mooch watches him, puzzled. MOOCH What's that s'posed to mean? Hey... He turns and we FOLLOW him over to STICKS, a black Marine staff sergeant, sharp as a tack, alert, working the action on his weapon, making sure it's smooth and well oiled. MOOCH (continuing) Sticks... ya got a cigarette? Sticks takes a cigarette from behind his ear and hands it to Mooch.

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MOOCH How about one more for later? (off Sticks' glare) Got a match? STICKS Mooch... do me a favor, man... get yourself adopted, or somethin'. I'm tired of takin' care of ya. Mooch, rebuffed, turns and walks away, looking for another sucker. We stay with Sticks as he slams a magazine home in his rifle and turns to his left and PRIVATE DELORES COSTELLO, a tough looking, well put together female standing a few feet away, opening a metal box filled with grenades. STICKS Coupla' eggs over easy, Delores. She tosses him two grenades, one after another. He catches them and nods his thanks. Delores grabs a couple more grenades out of the metal box in front of her and looks around. DELORES Who's hungry? Martinez! PRIVATE DANNY MARTINEZ, buckling on his body armor, SINGING softly to himself, oblivious of his surroundings. Next to him is STAFF-SERGEANT BOOKS MALLOY, a good looking kid wearing body armor, his weapon cradled in the crook of one arm. He turns and reaches to snatch a grenade out of the air before it can hit Danny in the face. Danny looks up and blinks. "Where'd that come from?" BOOKS (soft rasp) Wake up. Danny, obviously respecting Books, takes the grenade and nods. Books shifts the toothpick in his mouth, looks toward Delores and casually reaches up to snag another grenade out of the air. He nods to Delores and then his gaze shifts to a doorway as we hear DOORS OPENING. We PAN to MASTER SERGEANT "METAL HEAD" HOOKER, a big, rough looking NCO with a shiny metal plate that covers half of his skull and his lower jawbone as he steps inside the armory and surveys his troops.

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METAL HEAD Awright, listen up! We are orbiting the planet Ithacon! In one minute we will board the shuttle craft and proceed to target area Delta. Our mission is to search and destroy! Let me repeat that... search and destroy! We have been chasing this alien sonofabitch long enough! In the past six months he has disrupted Galactic Mining operations to the tune of half a billion dollars and the word has come down from above... kill the bastard, or else! Now, what is our mission?! MARINES (in unison) KILL!! METAL HEAD I can't hear you! MARINES (twice as loud) KILL, KILL, KILL!! TINA, a pretty, albeit studious looking young woman wearing a science officer's suit, enters just as the Marines respond with "Kill." She recoils slightly from the shouted words. Metal Head looks over at her. METAL HEAD (continuing) You're in the wrong place, little girl. Authorized personnel only. TINA (intimidated) Uh... I'm looking for Sergeant Hooker? METAL HEAD You found him. Whattya want, kid? TINA I'm Dr. Reeves. I've been assigned to your... group. METAL HEAD What the hell for?

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TINA I'm to collect samples of any alien life forms and... METAL HEAD (turning away) Bullshit. He turns to Sticks who is walking by. METAL HEAD (continuing, to Sticks) Get me Dr. Mittenhand. STICKS Yassuh. boss... right away. Computer... get your lazy ass up and lemme talk to the boss. A robotic monitor obediently moves up to him. DR. MITTENHAND appears on the view screen. He looks up from his work and appears startled by the intrusion. He's in his 40's, balding and slightly demented looking in a polished, superior way. DR. MITTENHAND (German dialect) What is it? Metal Head steps up near the view screen. METAL HEAD Sergeant Hooker, sir. In the armory. We got us a female of the species says she's been assigned to our search and destroy mission. DR. MITTENHAND Correct. Dr. Reeves is the ship's biological officer and my personal assistant. You will see that she is protected at all times. METAL HEAD All due respect, sir... we got enough on our hands without babysittin' some... DR. MITTENHAND You have your orders, Sergeant. I suggest you follow them. The screen goes blank. Metal Head looks over at Tina who tries to match his glare, but can't. Metal Head turns away.

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METAL HEAD Awright Books, get this little girl ready for combat. She's your responsibility... let's mount up! 3 EXT. DEEP SPACE. NIGHT. 3

The shuttle leaves the Behemoth, exiting from the huge cargo bay #1 doors, rocketing towards the planet. 4 INT. SHUTTLE. NIGHT. 4

The Marines facing each other on parallel benches in the back of the shuttle as it cruises through space. BOOKS and TINA - Tina sitting down now in Marine fatigues, Books on one knee in front of her, helping her on with her body armor. He's rough with her, upset that he has to worry about a civilian in a battle situation. TINA (re: the armor) Is this really necessary? BOOKS If ya wanna stay alive, it is. TINA (pushing his hands away) Do you mind? She tries to buckle on the armor. Sticks moves into frame, sitting down besider her. STICKS See, the reason you're havin' problems is... he never put clothes on a woman before. BOOKS As you were, Sticks. Tina breaks a nail on one of the clasps. TINA Ow! (holds her thumb up) Oh, jeez, I broke a nail. STICKS Medic!

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BOOKS Gimme that... Books grabs the front of her body armor, starts buckling it for her. His fingers, or the backs of his hands grazing her breasts. TINA (pointedly) Having fun? BOOKS Sorry. There's a sudden lurch and a ROARING NOISE as the craft begins to shake and vibrate, causing Tina to fall into Books' arms. He holds onto her as they look into each other's eyes. A spark. BOOKS (continuing) Y'awright? TINA (staring into his eyes) Uh... yeah... I'm... She nods, starting to pull away, but the ship lurches again and she has to hold onto him. BOOKS Better strap yourself in. She nods and sits besides Sticks who reaches to strap her in. STICKS (re: seat belt) In case we hit the ground at two thousand miles an hour and explode into a big fireball. We don't want you to fall outta your seat. TINA Right. Thanks. 5 INT. DUNGEON CAVE. PLANET ITHACON. DAY. 5

PRINCESS ZARINA, a gorgeous, young woman, scantily clad in a kind of neo-harem outfit, is chained to the wall of a cave, the walls of which are veined in gold. We see an exotic looking necklace around her neck, denoting her high-station. Flickering torches provide light as she struggles ineffectually against her bonds.

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We hear a NOISE from the shadows and the Princess ceases to struggle as she peers into the recesses of the cave. We hear BREATHING. Something there. Her eyes probe the darkness. Real fear grips her now as the BREATHING becomes LOUDER and closer. CLOSE ON CLAWED, GNARLED FINGERS - as somebody, something reaches out of the dark shadows to put his hand on the wall, then peers around the corner at US. CLOSER on beady, bloodshot eyes filled with evil. Princess Zarina sees the eyes of the creature and SCREAMS, the sound echoing through the cave as she redoubles her efforts to loosen her chains. LEPRECHAUN - dressed in a tuxedo and looking almost distinguished in a satanic way, saunters out of the shadows, shelaleigh in hand. He flourishes a cigarette clasped in a gold cigarette holder. LEPRECHAUN (low, seductive) Good evening. Princess Zarina SCREAMS again. The Leprechaun smiles, listening to the echo and appreciating her shrieks of terror. LEPRECHAUN (re: her screams) Ah... an angel's voice sends pleasure to every part of my being. Your shrieks, my dear, provide a perfect accompaniment to a romantic evening. (waves his shelaleigh) Dinner for two. A candle-lit table appears, complete with covered dishes and a champagne bucket. The Leprechaun walks over and pulls a chair out for the Princess. Princess Zarina's chains drop from her wrists and she reacts, startled. She rubs her chafed wrists and looks around, befuddled. LEPRECHAUN Don't be afraid, my dear... I am love's own messenger, sent to bring you tidings of joy and the promise of new born ecstasy.

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An evil glint to his smile draws the Princess forward to the proffered chair. He gestures. The chair draws back from the table by itself, and the champagne bottle pops its cork. LEPRECHAUN A little of the bubbly to put us on more friendly terms. 6 EXT. SKY. DAY. The space shuttle becomes a ball of flame as it enters Ithacon's atmosphere. 7 INT. SHUTTLE. DAY. The Marines tense as the shuttle is buffeted about. Metal Head steps in from the cockpit. METAL HEAD Awright... we're goin' in. Let's bow our heads. (everybody bows their heads) Lord... be with us as we hunt down and destroy the ungodly sonofabitch waitin' out there for us. Help us to kill whatever gets in our way and let all our wounds be flesh wounds. Amen. MARINES Amen. Tina looks over at Books, appalled. STICKS (leans in, sarcastic) I feel real safe, now. Don't you? Books smiles, amused and then settles back for the landing. TINA Can I ask you something? (off Sticks' look) How did the Sergeant... I mean... what happened to his... head? STICKS Happened during the last war. The Sarge went down in a shuttle over Crylanium. (MORE) 7 6

9. STICKS (cont'd) Took half his skull out, but he still managed to carry a wounded Marine on his back for over fifteen miles before he reached our lines. TINA Wow. Did he live? The guy he carried on his back... did he... Sticks looks over at Books. Tina follows his gaze. BOOKS Yeah. He lived. (grins) If you call this "livin'." Sticks smiles and gives Books a high-five. Both men settle back, relaxed. Tina realizes Books was the guy Metal Head carried on his back. 8 INT. DUNGEON CAVE. DAY. The Leprechaun proposing a toast, glass held high. He gestures for her to do the same. She picks her glass up. LEPRECHAUN To the most beautiful woman in the galaxy... the Princess Zarina. My future wife! PRINCESS ZARINA Your wife?? Your WIFE?? How dare you! Do you know who I am?! I am the daughter of a king! LEPRECHAUN You will one day be queen and it is your royal blood, madame, that will make me a king! PRINCESS ZARINA What?? You?? (derisive laugh) A king?? LEPRECHAUN Laugh if you like, my darlin', but I'll have me way. I am a man among men, and it's tired I am of bein' treated like a dog. From now on, the rest of this miserable world will bow and scrape before me... and if they don't... (MORE) 8

10. LEPRECHAUN (cont'd) (slams shelaleigh between two champagne glasses) ...off with their heads! He CACKLES insanely as the glasses obligingly shatter. 9 EXT. SURFACE OF PLANET ITHACON. DAY. The shuttle is parked in a rugged landscape, lit up by electrical storms. Metal Head leads the Marines into frame and looks around. BOOKS Real vacation spot. METAL HEAD I've seen worse. Ever been to Detroit? 10 INT. DUNGEON CAVE. DAY. Princess Zarina throwing food across the table at the Leprechaun. ZARINA I'll never marry you! Never! I'd rather die first! LEPRECHAUN (dodging thrown objects) Would ya rather be dead, or would ya rather be rich?!! Princess Zarina pauses, ready to throw something at him. ZARINA Excuse me? LEPRECHAUN Your father the king hasn't a penny to his name... he's a stupid old fool who gave everything he had to his loyal subjects! And left his family with nothin'. ZARINA He... he was being noble. LEPRECHAUN He was being a fool! I can make you rich beyond your wildest dreams! 10 9

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ZARINA (derisive) Oh, really?? The Leprechaun waves his shelaleigh and the table is covered with gold and jewels. LEPRECHAUN Yes... really. Princess Zarina reaches to scoop up a handful of jewels. ZARINA They're beautiful... The Leprechaun walks into frame, on top of the table. He leers at her. LEPRECHAUN And there's plenty more where that came from. ZARINA You begin to interest me... vaguely. LEPRECHAUN Ah, yer a proud one... you were meant to be a queen. With me by your side you'll have the richest kingdom in the universe... I'll clothe ya in the finest silks and satins... I'll cover ya in jewels from the far corners of the galaxy. ZARINA (mesmerized) I deserve it, you know... for all I've suffered... being a princess with nothing to wear... people treating me as though I were common. The Leprechaun kneels on the table in front of her and holds a sparkling gold and diamond necklace in front of her eyes. LEPRECHAUN (hypnotic) Gold is power, my love. Think what it'll be like... with everyone bowing and scraping before you.

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ZARINA Yes... I'd like that... LEPRECHAUN (very close to here, seductive, licking his lips) Let me moisten your lips with the sweet nectar of revenge so that we may stand together... and punish all who have wronged you. ZARINA Oh... wouldn't I like to see them on their knees... LEPRECHAUN (hypnotizing her with the necklace) You'll have everything you've ever wanted... gold is power... gold is power... power... power... power... 11 EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE. DAY. 11

PAN DOWN a craggy mountain to a group of rocks outside a cave entrance. The Marines take up defensive positions. Metal Head scans the area with his locator device. METAL HEAD Lucky! Yer up! (re: his locater) I'm getting a reading... Take a look inside. Lucky moves off into the cave. 12 INT. FIRST CAVE. DAY. 12

Lucky edges inside the cave moving into the shadows, careful. 13 EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE. DAY. Tina and Delores crouched beside a rock. DELORES So... you're a scientist, or somethin', huh? TINA Yes. I am. Delores nods, hmm. Tina checks Delores out. 13

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TINA Have you ever been in combat? DELORES Oh, yeah. Lotsa' times. TINA Are you ever frightened? DELORES Are you kiddin'? Every time. (looks around) I'm scared now... (off Tina's look) ...so's everybody else. Comes with the job. (off Tina's concerned look) Hey... we fight better when we're a little goosed. Know what I mean? TINA Yeah. I think so. 14 INT. FIRST CAVE. DAY. 14

Lucky moves toward the entrance to another chamber in the cave. Suddenly a weird animal of some kind scurries out between some rocks, startling him so that he fires a burst at it from his weapon. 15 INT. DUNGEON CAVE. DAY. 15

The Leprechaun and Princess Zarina react to GUNFIRE outside the cave. The Leprechaun gestures and his tuxedo changes to his regular costume. LEPRECHAUN Visitors. ZARINA My father! He's found me! LEPRECHAUN If he has... will you go back with him? She looks at the Leprechaun, then at the necklace. She snatches it out of his hand.

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ZARINA (a wicked smile) The king is dead... long live the king. A15 INT. FIRST CAVE. DAY. A15

PAN UP from the shattered remains of the alien rodent as the Marines examine it. Metal Head gestures for Lucky to enter the next chamber and he does, slipping into the darkness. Metal Head signals Books to join him at the tunnel entrance where they take up covering positions. Delores notices Tina's concern. DELORES You'll be awright. I'll watch out for ya. TINA Thanks. DELORES Be nice havin' another woman around. Give me somebody to talk to. MOOCH What about me? DELORES Right. (to Tina) All they care about is whether or not I'm wearin' any panties. MOOCH Delores... nobody gives a damn if yer wearin' panties or not. (beat) Just for the sake of argument... are ya? I mean... you wouldn't wear those black lacy ones into combat would ya? I mean... would ya?? Mooch dances his eyebrows up and down. Delores gives him a hard look, looks at Tina who rolls her eyes in disgust. 16 INT. TREASURE CAVE. DAY. Another chamber filled with the Leprechaun's gold supply, jewels, sparkling space rocks, etc. Torches flicker on the wall. Lucky moves into frame and sees all the goodies. 16

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LUCKY (awed) Wow... Lucky walks over to a table laden with gold and jewels and starts stuffing some of it into his pockets. We PAN down to below the table where the Leprechaun is crouched. He flicks his wrist and a green laser beam shoots out from his shelaleigh, making it a lethal weapon. He smiles malevolently and draws his laser-shelaleigh back... LUCKY - is stuffing gold into his pockets as we hear a SWOOSH and Lucky loses about a foot of height. He reacts, his eyes going wide with shock. Another SWOOSH and he loses another foot in height. He looks down as we hear another SWOOSH and he drops down so that his head is barely visible over the table. He SCREAMS in agony. 17 INT. FIRST CAVE. DAY. Metal Head, Books and Tina react to Lucky's SCREAMS. METAL HEAD (to Books) Stay with the kid. (turns to the other marines in the b.g.) Let's go! Books is outraged at having to stay behind as Metal Head and the other Marines charge in to save Lucky. We hear AUTOMATIC WEAPONS FIRE ECHOING inside the cave. Books looks at Tina. BOOK Stay here! Don't move!! Books goes after his buddies and Tina follows. 18 INT. TREASURE CAVE. DAY. 18 17

The Marines blaze away at the Leprechaun who scoops up Lucky's weapon and dives behind a treasure chest. He STICKS the weapon over the top of the chest and fires a burst. Metal Head and Kowalski dive for cover as bullets ricochet around them. Kowalski tosses a grenade. PRINCESS ZARINA - appearing in another entranceway. Kowalski's grenade bounces near her feet. She looks down. LEPRECHAUN (O.S.) Get down!

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LEPRECHAUN - amidst a hail of gunfire, runs toward the Princess and dives onto the grenade. METAL HEAD AND KOWALSKI - duck as the grenade EXPLODES. Dirt and debris rain down on them as Books dives into frame beside them. One of the Leprechaun's legs thuds to the ground in front of him. They all look at it and then look to see if the Leprechaun survived. LEPRECHAUN AND PRINCESS ZARINA - pieces of the Leprechaun are scattered about. A leg, an arm, etc. The Princess lies motionless, a hand and part of a forearm are buried beneath the rocks, apparently severed by the explosion. We see a couple of fingers visible between rocks. The Marines walk into frame, alert to more danger. Tina pushes past them and kneels beside the Princess. METAL HEAD Nice toss, Kowalski. KOWALSKI Fuckin'-A. TINA She's alive... Delores moves in beside Tina, breaking out a first-aid kit. DELORES We gotta stop this bleeding... TINA We need help here... we need to get her back to the shuttle! BOOKS (steps into frame) Mooch, Danny... get over here! Mooch and Danny hustle over to help as Books sees something and moves to look at it. We FOLLOW him over to the princess' severed hand. He picks it up and notices the bright, blue blood dripping off it. DANNY (O.S.) Hey, Books... give us a hand! Books looks at the severed hand he's holding. BOOKS Here.

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He tosses the hand O.S. to Danny. DANNY (O.S.) Oh, shit... TINA (O.S.) Give me that... stop playing around. METAL HEAD - looking the treasure over. METAL HEAD Kowalski... you and Sticks start packin' some of this stuff up! KOWALSKI - undoing the fly of his pants. KOWALSKI It was my kill, Sarge. I get to add the final touch. We PAN DOWN to the Leprechaun's head lying between Kowalski's legs. We see an arm in the foreground. A stream of urine arcs into frame as Kowalski pisses on the Leprechaun's arm, etc. The Leprechaun's face which has been frozen in a death-mask suddenly contorts into an evil grin. Kowalski's urine turns a bright green color. Kowalski pissing, his expression blissful. Suddenly, he grimaces in pain and looks down at his Johnson. KOWALSKI Whoa... shit... STICKS (walks by) Way to go, K.O. I'd give you a round of applause, but I see you've already got the clap. Kowalski checks his Johnson out, worried. 19 EXT. SPACE. NIGHT. The shuttle rocketing away from Ithacon. 20 INT. SHUTTLE. NIGHT. Metal Head on the radio. METAL HEAD (into a microphone) Uh... Eagle one to Behemoth. (MORE) 20 19

18. METAL HEAD (cont'd) Mission accomplished... target destroyed. Uh... we had one killed and we're bringin' back a casualty... humanoid female, origin unknown... uh... E.T.A. twelve minutes. A20 EXT. DEEP SPACE. NIGHT. EST. shot Behemoth in orbit around planet Ithacon. 21 INT. BIOLOGY LAB. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. 21 A20

Caged extra-terrestrial life forms in the b.g. of the lab. HAROLD, a ferret like lab assistant, examines a scorpion in a glass case with a large magnifying glass. We hear Tina call him. He crosses the room and enters the bio-dome. The Princess has all sorts of monitors attached to her as she lies unconscious on a hospital bed. Books looks over at Tina as she examines the necklace around the Princess' neck. TINA (touches the necklace around the Princess' neck) This is interesting... You know what this is, Harold? (off Harold's look) From the planet Dominia. It signifies royal birth. This is quite an opportunity. HAROLD For what? TINA If we can save her, it'll mean better relations with the Dominians. (checks a monitor) I'll need a complete work-up on her bodily fluids... organ delineation charts and let's do an encephalogram, too... run everything through the main computer so that Dr. Mittenhand can look it over. HAROLD Excuse me, but I don't work for you... I work for...

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TINA Harold, just do it. We'll fight about who's in charge later. Harold takes an attitude, looking slightly effete as he stands there with his hands on his hips. Books grabs him. BOOKS You heard the lady. Move yer ass. HAROLD Don't touch me unless you mean it, cowboy. Harold shrugs himself free of Books' grip and after a glance at Tina, moves to do her bidding. Tina looks at Books. TINA Please don't ever do that again. BOOKS What... I was helpin' out. TINA Yes, I understand, but that's not the kind of help I need. BOOKS Uh-huh. TINA What was your name? BOOKS Sergeant Malloy. My friends call me "Books." TINA (offhand, busy) Well, Sergeant Malloy, I have work to do, so why don't you return to your unit and do whatever it is you people do when you're not killing something. BOOKS (beat, insulted) Strip. TINA (looks up, startled) I beg your pardon?

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BOOKS I gotta take the body armor. TINA Oh. 22 INT. CARGO BAY #2. BEHEMOTH. DAY. 22

The place is filled with containers of varied sizes and types, most of them futuristic looking. A robotic fork-lift cruises by with a load of stuff. Metal Head and Harold are examining mineral samples brought from the Leprechaun's cave. Harold runs a hand-held device over a sample and looks at the digital read-out. HAROLD This is all high-grade material. That cave must be riddled with gold. METAL HEAD Put this stuff away, dick-head, so I can go get drunk. Harold recoils from Metal Head's insult and briskly turns to walk over to the Miniaturization apparatus, a large, ray-gun like piece of machinery. He flicks a switch on a control panel and a shaft of bright red light zaps the gold, shrinking the big rocks down to pebble size. METAL HEAD Handy little gadget. What do ya do when ya wanna unload it? HAROLD Simply reverse the process... Harold hits another switch and we see the bright red light as the pebbles are restored to their normal size. METAL HEAD Not bad. HAROLD It was invented by Dr. Mittenhand. (wanting to be overheard) He's a genius! DR. MITTENHAND (O.S.) Yes, Harold. Thank you for that "heartfelt" testimonial.

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Metal Head and Harold turn to look at a nearby monitor where Dr. Mittenhand's head fills the screen. DR. MITTENHAND (continuing) I have informed Galactic Enterprises of our find. Our instructions are to orbit the planet until a mining crew and the appropriate equipment arrive. Once the mining procedure has begun we can return home. Sergeant, your men will act as security until we are relieved. Any questions? METAL HEAD Our contract expires at midnight tonight. DR. MITTENHAND I'm sure a bonus of some kind can be arranged. METAL HEAD No can do, sir. We signed on for thirty days. Legally, we're free agents as of midnight tonight. DR. MITTENHAND I will decide when you are a free agent. No one leaves this ship unless I say so. Is that clear, Sergeant? METAL HEAD With all due respect, sir... DR. MITTENHAND Carry on. The monitor goes black. HAROLD (frightened of Mittenhand) You shouldn't argue with him, you know. Ever. 23 INT. ENTERTAINMENT LOUNGE. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. 23

A big place. Swirling lights, LOUD MUSIC and nobody there but the Marines. Books, Sticks, Danny and Mooch are at a table, drinking. Kowalski and Delores are indulging themselves in a very provocative dance...

22. (slow, grinding pelvis to pelvis, etc.) Delores wears fatigue shorts. Kowalski's belt carries a sidearm and a bayonet. KOWALSKI Let's go someplace... DELORES (glancing at the others) They'll see us leaving... they'll know. KOWALSKI They're not gonna know... hell, they're all drunk. She nods and they start to walk off. We hear WHISTLES and CATCALLS from the other Marines. DANNY (O.S.) Where you kids goin'? Can I give ya a lift? STICKS (O.S.) Kowalski, did I tell ya the doctor called? He said everything is fine... just be sure and wear protective gloves when you pee. LAUGHTER from everybody. Delores, alarmed, looks at Kowalski. KOWALSKI It's a joke... Kowalski glances back at the Marines and flips them off. MOOCH (O.S.) (re: Kowalski's finger) That's about the size of it, right, Ernie? Some more LAUGHTER and a couple more WHISTLES. BOOKS, STICKS, DANNY AND MOOCH - as they watch Kowalski and Delores walk off. DANNY Well... (raises his drink) ...here's to nasty sex and women who never say no.

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BOOKS (somber, raises his glass) Here's to Lucky. The Marine who died just a few hours ago. Everybody's smiles fade. They look at each other. Somber. 24 INT. CORRIDOR INTERSECTION. BOWELS OF THE SHIP. NIGHT. 24

Kowalski and Delores looking for a place to make out. Their footsteps ECHO off the metal pipes that run across the high ceilings and walls of the ship. 25 EXT. WASTE DISPOSAL CHAMBER. NIGHT. 25

They approach an alcove next to a solid waste disposal unit. Painted on a door are the words: "WASTE DISPOSAL CHAMBER. NO ADMITTANCE." There's a skull and crossbones painted just above the sign for emphasis. KOWALSKI Over here. He leads her over to a shadowy area where they embrace immediately and begin groping each other. Kowalski is unbuttoning her fatigue shirt while she takes off his belt from which hangs a pistol and a bayonet in a scabbard. She reaches down the front of his pants. He MOANS with pleasure. KOWALSKI (continuing) Oooh, yeah... baby... shake hands with the big guy... He pulls her top open and buries his face in her cleavage. She responds, her hand still down the front of his pants. They kiss passionately and then Kowalski flinches in pain. KOWALSKI Oh, baby... take it easy... you don't wanna hurt Mister Snake... (flinches again) Yiii! DELORES What's wrong... what is it? He grabs her hand and pulls it out of his pants. KOWALSKI Whattya wanna do, take it home with ya? Jeez... not so rough!

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DELORES But... I didn't do anything... Kowalski doubles up, grabbing at his crotch and MOANING in pain. He looks down, taking his hands away. We see a big bulge beneath his pants, and it's moving around. Delores reacts with astonishment. DELORES (continuing) What the hell is going on in there? Kowalski's head snaps back and he SCREAMS in agony. SILHOUETTE SHOT: shadows on the wall as Delores watches Kowalski's erection grow to huge proportions. DELORES Kowalski... my God... what is it?? KOWALSKI Yaaaahhhhhhhhhh! The erection grows to ridiculous size as Kowalski claws at it in agony. DELORES - wide-eyed, watching Kowalski and his massive erection. Kowalski lets out a terrible SCREAM and we hear his pants RIPPING. Delores sees something and SCREAMS. She ducks out of the way. The Leprechaun flies over her head and out of frame. LEPRECHAUN YAAAAAAA-HOOOOOO! LEPRECHAUN - lands on his feet and grins maliciously. Kowalski, his front splattered with blood, has his eyes roll up into his head and then collapses. LEPRECHAUN (continuing, tips his hat) Let that be a lesson to ya, lad. Always wear a prophylactic. Delores screams but soon recovers enough to draw Kowalski's side arm and point it at the Leprechaun, who snaps his fingers. Suddenly he is wearing gunslinger's pistols, a cowboy hat, and spurs. He draws and shoots the gun out of Delores' hand. Delores backs away clutching Kowalski's belt. The Leprechaun assumes a John Wayne pose and drawl.

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LEPRECHAUN (continuing, John Wayne) Awwww... hold it right there, Pilgrim. I'm not gonna hurt ya. Naw, I'm not gonna hurt ya. (as she screams and runs) The hell I'm not. He lurches off in true John Wayne. 26 INT. ENTERTAINMENT CENTER. NIGHT. 26

Tina enters and walks over to the bar. She is wearing a figure-hugging recreation outfit popular in the 21st century. Everybody at the table watches her. Books gets up. BOOKS I need a refill. MOOCH (holds his glass up) Get me one, too... and get me a sandwich, will ya, Books... and a pack of cigarettes... I'll pay ya later. Sticks reaches to take Mooch's glass and puts it down on the table as Books walks away. MOOCH (continuing, re: Sticks) What...? STICKS He ain't comin' back for a while. Relax. A26 INT. CORRIDOR. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. A26

Delores running for her life toward US, staggering to a halt, catching her breath as she looks back for pursuit. She clips the belt around her waist. She turns just as a pair of gnarled hands reach into frame and grab her around the throat. She gasps and falls backward with the Leprechaun still clutching her throat. LEPRECHAUN (on top of her) Ya know, I get the impression you don't like me. (choking her) Now, don't bother to deny it. You really don't like me, do ya?

26.

Delores knees him hard in the groin then punches him backwards. He SCREAMS in agony. As he sits up, Delores karate kicks him flat on his back and takes off running. LEPRECHAUN (sitting up, pained) First dates are always the hardest. 27 28 Omit (moved to A28) EXT. ENTERTAINMENT CENTER. NIGHT. Books walks up to the bar where Tina is mixing herself a drink. He sits down across from her. BOOKS That's what happens when you fly coach. TINA Parodn me? BOOKS Gotta mix yer own drinks. TINA Oh. BOOKS How's the alien? TINA She's resting comfortably... more or less. We won't be able to save her hand. Too much arterial damage. BOOKS That's tough. TINA Umm. BOOKS (beat, looking her over) You're a doctor, right? TINA A biologist. A... uh... doctor of biology. BOOKS So, you must be pretty smart. 27 28

27.

TINA Well... smart is a relative term. BOOKS Relative to what? TINA To the level of intelligence you're referring to. I mean... what's the criteria for determining a person's intelligence. BOOKS Umhm. TINA That's... it means what standard do you use. Prerequisites. BOOKS I know what criteria means, doc. And I know what a prerequisite is. Just because I'm wearing a uniform does not mean my brain has been surgically removed. TINA Of course... I didn't mean to... BOOKS I know ya didn't mean to. That's why we're still friends. Maybe not friends, more like acquaintances. The point is, I was thinkin' I'd like to get to know you better, but since you obviously think of me as a Neanderthal... TINA But, I dont... not at all. (beat) Why are you so defensive? BOOKS (defensively) I'm not defensive. (finishes his drink) I'll kill anybody that says I'm defensive. They both smile at this. He looks around, decides he made a mistake in trying to establish a rapport with her.

28.

BOOKS (continuing) Aw, what the hell... forget I was here, awright, Doc? He turns and walks off. TINA Come back when you're feeling better. BOOKS I feel a lot better than I look. TINA (to herself) I'll bet. A28 INT. ANOTHER CORRIDOR. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. A28

Delores coming to intersecting corridors. She staggers to a halt and looks around. Which way? DELORES Oh, God... where am I... where the hell am I? She backs into a corridor, and turns just as the Leprechaun pops up on top of a container, eye level with Delores, his chin supported by the palm of one hand. He reaches out with his shelaleigh and hooks her around her dog tags with it, pulling her close so that they are practically nose to nose. LEPRECHAUN Hell-o, my darlin', how's tricks? DELORES Please... let me go. LEPRECHAUN Don't be afraid, lass. My whole life people have been afraid of me. DELORES (trying not to panic) It's just that... you scared me... LEPRECHAUN People treat ya like a monster, ya act like a monster. Know what I mean? Reaching behind her for a bayonet encased in a scabbard.

29.

DELORES I think so. I'm sorry if I made you angry. LEPRECHAUN Are ya, lass? Aw, that's nice. Ya know, I'm beginnin' to like you. DELORES Good... I'm... I'm glad. LEPRECHAUN This is nice. Normally when I'm this close to a woman, I can't stop 'em from screamin'. DELORES I won't scream... I promise I won't scream... but you will! CLOSE ON DELORES as she rams the bayonet out of frame and we hear the Leprechaun's AGONIZED YELL. Delores' eyes widen and she SCREAMS. PAN TO a dead Kowalski lying there in place of the Leprechaun. He's got Delores' bayonet stuck in his throat. Delores SCREAMS, turns and runs. The Leprechaun appears in place of Kowalski again. LEPRECHAUN You can run, my pretty, but you can't hide. 30 INT. ENTERTAINMENT LOUNGE. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. 30

Mooch and Danny gyrating on the dance floor. Danny looks pretty good, but Mooch is incredibly uncoordinated. Sticks and Tina shaking it up pretty well as the music ends. Tina smiles, says something to Sticks and walks away. He turns and walks toward US. We FOLLOW him as he walks over to Books' table and sits down. BOOKS What happened to Cinderella? STICKS She's got work to do. BOOKS Nothin' wrong with bein' a marine, is there, Sticks? STICKS Naw, hell no. I'm proud to be a marine. Semper fi.

30.

BOOKS It's all I ever wanted to be. STICKS So, ya made it. Be happy. BOOKS I am happy. 'Till I meet somebody like her. STICKS You don't like her? BOOKS I like her a lot. That's the problem. STICKS Say again? BOOKS We're not exactly made for each other. A PhD and a high-school diploma. The conversations might be a little one-sided. STICKS Depends on what yer talkin' about, man. BOOKS I might not know what we're talkin' about. The doors CRASH OPEN and they look up. DELORES - staggers into the middle of the dance floor, her uniform flecked with Kowalski's blood. She looks around, dazed. DELORES It's... ALIIIIIVE! 31 INT. BIOLOGY LAB. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. 31

Harold is working in the lab feeding flies to a large spider. He carries a rack of test-tubes away from the Princess' bed. We MOVE IN CLOSE on her wounded arm. Something stirs beneath the bandages and we see a finger poke through, then another as her hand regenerates!

31.

32

INT. DARKENED CORRIDOR. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT.

32

Montage of shots with strong music as Metal Head leads the heavily armed Marines down the corridor, toward US. They PASS BY and we FOLLOW them. Books and Tina bring up the rear. Tina is again in body armor like the rest of them. Books offers her a sidearm. BOOKS (pusing a pistol at her) Take this. TINA No thank you. I don't believe in violence. BOOKS You're gonna need somethin' out here besides a PhD, Doc. TINA I happen to have a black belt in karate. (off his look) Needed a merit badge when I was in the scouts. BOOKS Scouts, huh? Ya shoulda' told me. I coulda' taken the day off. Books gives her a derisive look and stuffs the pistol into his waistband as he moves off, leaving her behind. She glares at him, then STICKS her tongue out. 33 INT. BIOLOGY LAB. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. CLOSE on a sheet as it's pulled back to expose the unconscious Princess. WIDEN to show a lustful Harold looking her over. He trails his fingers over her bare stomach and touches her wounded arm. He runs his fingers down her arm and then sees the fingers poking through the bandages. Amazed, he lifts her arm up to observe it more closely. He pulls the tattered bandages off and we see she has regenerated her hand. Unseen by Harold, a robotic monitor moves up behind him. HAROLD Impossible. 33

32.

DR. MITTENHAND (O.S.) No, Harold... it's not impossible. Her tissues have regenerated. Harold turns with a start and sees Dr. Mittenhand on the monitor. HAROLD Doctor... I was just... DR. MITTENHAND Yes, Harold. I know what you were doing. You are a very naughty boy. HAROLD But I was just... I was... DR. MITTENHAND Please close your mouth, Harold. It's very unattractive. (looking at the Princess) She is... rather amazing... is she not? HAROLD Yes... DR. MITTENHAND We have work to do. Do you know what I could do with her DNA? Do you, Harold? HAROLD Uh... DR. MITTENHAND You will tell no one what you have seen here, do you understand? No one! HAROLD No one? But, this is a great discovery! It will be the crowning achievement of your career! DR. MITTENHAND Yes, but for now, it will be our secret. Do I make myself clear, Harold? HAROLD Yes, Doctor.

33.

Harold looks over at the Princess. Mittenhand flicks a switch and is gone. 34 EXT. WASTE DISPOSAL CHAMBER. NIGHT. 34

ANGLE ON Kowalski's dead body. FOOTSTEPS. PAN UP to Delores leading the Marines up to the body. They all stare down at poor, dead Kowalski. Delores turns away, agonized. STICKS (softly) Damn. DANNY (aside to Sticks) Take more than penicillin to fix that. METAL HEAD Awright... knock it off. (looks around) We gotta find him before he does any more damage. Metal Head walks over to the entrance to the waste disposal chamber. METAL HEAD Let's check it out. TINA You can't go in there! That's the waste disposal chamber! METAL HEAD We can go anywhere we want, lady. We're Marines! TINA It's filled with flesh eating bacteria. METAL HEAD (thinks about it for a second) Mooch... you're up. MOOCH Hey, wait a minute... what the hell do you mean, flesh eating bacteria?

34.

TINA It's how they dispose of organic waste. You can wear protective gear. (to Metal Head) I'll go in with him... show him what to do. BOOKS No way... Sarge. We can't let her go in there. TINA I'm the only one who knows how to handle the equipment. METAL HEAD She goes. BOOKS Awright... I'm goin' in with 'em. Tina gives Books a look, upset that he wants to baby-sit her. 35 INT. DECONTAMINATION CHAMBER. NIGHT. 35

TIna puts Mooch's helmet on for him. He's dressed in a space suit to keep him safe from the bacteria. TINA There... can you hear me? Mooch nods. Tina turns to Books who is about to put his own helmet on. TINA (continuing) Want some help? BOOKS I can handle it. TINA That's backwards. Books, who was looking at her instead of paying attention to what he was doing, turns the helmet around and gives her a hard look. She shakes her head and walks away. DOOR WITH GLASS WINDOW - Tina walks over to a door with a glass window in it and hits a button on the wall. We see what looks like steam blasting from a wall outlet.

35.

TINA (continuing) That'll kill any bacteria in the air lock. When that light goes on... (points to a red light on the wall near the door) ...you go in. I'll let you out into the main chamber from here. When you come back... you'll have to be decontaminated before I can let you back in. Got it? Both men nod at her. The red light goes on and she opens the door for them. They grab their weapons and step into the small outer chamber. Tina shuts the door. She peers through the glass window and they give her a thumbs up sign. She hits a button and a door inside the outer chamber opens. 36 INT. WASTE DISPOSAL CHAMBER. NIGHT. 36

We see what looks like a maze of narrow corridors in which the flesh eating bacteria reside. Thick, rusted chains dangle from ducts in the ceiling, through which the ship's waste intermittently drops. Books gestures down one corridor. BOOKS (over his headset) You go that way. MOOCH Check. Mooch moves off in one direction, Books in another. MOOCH - peering into the shadows, looking for the Leprechaun. We hear his BREATHING inside the suit. BOOKS - climbing some steps. He hears a NOISE and goes into a defensive posture, weapon ready. He looks around, trying to see into the shadows. He moves ahead a couple of steps, cautious. He looks down. PAN down to the skeletal remains of some small animal. PAN up to Books again. BOOKS Mooch? You awright? MOOCH - walks into frame and looks around. MOOCH Yeah. See anything? BOOKS - looking around, tugging at a hanging chain.

36.

BOOKS Nope. We hear a metal door slide open and Books looks up. His POV we see red, gooey, semi-liquid garbage showering down on him from one of the ceiling ducts. He YELLS, squeezing off a burst from his weapon as he goes down beneath the deluge. MOOCH (O.S.) (over the headset) Books!! What happened! Books! Books gets to his feet and we see that he's covered with red goo. MOOCH (O.S.) Books! BOOKS Yeah! I'm awright! (wiping off his face plate) Walked into a shit-storm. Looks like lubricant, or somethin'. Probably run-off from the hydraulic system. CLOSE ON A Whoever is He smiles. chain by a frame. SPACE SUIT - looking at the helmet from the back. wearing it turns and we see it's the LEPRECHAUN. We PULL BACK to show the Leprechaun hanging from a ceiling duct. He looks down at Mooch walking into MOOCH Be careful. BOOKS (O.S.) Yeah. LEPRECHAUN Ready or not... here I come. MOOCH - walks into frame and cautiously approaches a door slick with condensation. He puts his hand on the knob and slowly turns it. He waits a beat, then jerks it open. A big gust of green steam explodes in his face and he jumps back, bringing his weapon up. Behind him we see the Leprechaun swing by on a chain. Mooch turns. Nobody there. He turns back toward US with a puzzled look on his face.

37.

BOOKS (O.S.) Let's start workin' our way back, Mooch. We've wasted enough time in here. MOOCH 'Kay. LEPRECHAUN - hanging onto the chain, swing toward Mooch with the glistening blade extended from the end of his shelaleigh. He slashes Mooch on his way past and disappears out of frame. Mooch turns, shocked. We see a big letter "L" cut into Mooch's back. Mooch lets out a SCREAM OF PAIN! INSERT SHOT - C.G.I. We see through the rip in the protective suit, flesh being eaten down to the bone by an invisible force. MOOCH BOOKS!! BOOKS - turning to run toward Mooch. BOOKS Where are ya?! Mooch... where are ya! We hear GUNFIRE. MOOCH - shooting into the shadows as he struggles toward the decontamination chamber. MOOCH Books! Help me, Books!! ANGLE ON TINA - looking through the glass at Books and Mooch. TINA Oh, my God. Get outta there! BOOKS - running, intercepting Mooch who is SCREAMING and writhing in agony as he tries to stay on his feet and reach the decontamination chamber. Books grabs onto him and tries to help him. BOOKS I got ya, Mooch! I got ya! Mooch SHRIEKS in agony and starts to collapse. Books has to sling Mooch over his shoulder and carry him, firing his weapon into the shadows as he makes his way back toward the decontamination chamber. The Leprechaun's LAUGHTER crackles from the shadows and Books fires a burst in that direction.

38.

BOOKS C'mon out, you bastard! LEPRECHAUN (O.S.) (from the shadows) Give me the princess... and I'll spare yer miserable lives! Books fires a burst and starts moving again. BOOKS (yelling for Tina) Open the door! Open up! Books turns and fires another burst at the Leprechaun. BOOKS' POV - we see the Leprechaun escaping through a garbage chute. Bullets ricochet off the wall next to him. 37 INT. DECONTAMINATION CHAMBER. NIGHT. 37

Tina hits the button on the wall and the outer door opens. Books carries Mooch into the outer chamber and Tina hits a button activating the disinfectant steam. She waits until the red light goes on and then hits another button to open the door. Books carries Mooch into the main chamber and Tina reacts to the red slime all over Books. TINA My God, Books! BOOKS I'm awright! Gimme a hand with Mooch! Books gently lays Mooch on the floor and rips off his own helmet. They crouch over Mooch, Tina pulling his suit open to reveal Mooch's half-devoured body; bones and organs exposed. Tina shrinks back in horror. BOOKS Oh, shit... no... oh, shit... Books turns and moves to the door leading to the Leprechaun. He bangs on the glass with his fist. 38 INT. MITTENHAND'S OFFICE AND SHIP'S CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. 38

An intergalactic boardroom of the future, priceless art surrounding a boardroom table carved out of exotic stone with matching lamps, etc. The Marines, led by Metal Head, storm through the door.

39.

HAROLD Excuse me, do you have an appointment? Metal Head grabs Harold around the throat, lifting him off his feet. METAL HEAD Listen pencil neck, get me yer boss before I jerk out yer teeth and shit down yer throat! HAROLD Thanks, but I've already had lunch. (punches a button) Dr. Mittenhand? There's someone here to see you. DR. MITTENHAND(O.S.) Gentlemen... I've been expecting you. They all turn to look at a monitor where Mittenhand's face looms large and imposing. DR. MITTENHAND I've been tracking your activities and I understand the creature we are after has offered to spare us any more difficulty if we simply give him the beautiful Princess now resting in my lab. METAL HEAD Yessir. Since we've lost three good men already, it might be a good idea to give him what he wants. DR. MITTENHAND I don't agree, Sergeant. The Princess is part of a very important scientific experiment. You will do everything in your power to ensure her safety. If that means killing that creature out there, then so be it. Those are my orders. Harold? Show them out. METAL HEAD Sit yer ass down, Harold. With all due respect, Doctor... we're not goin' anywhere.

40.

DR. MITTENHAND You refuse to obey me? METAL HEAD I'm not gonna risk the lives of these men so you can fart around with yer test-tubes and yer formulas. I say we give her up so we can all get outta this in one piece. DR. MITTENHAND You... dare to defy me?? METAL HEAD Hell, yes. Our contracts are up in a couple of hours. When that clock strikes twelve, we're climbin' on that shuttle and headin' fer home. MITTENHAND I think not, Sergeant. Metal Head turns and heads for the door. METAL HEAD Let's get outta here. Everybody follows Metal Head to a door. MITTENHAND No one leaves this ship without my permission! No one! The door slides shut in Metal Head's face. They all turn as the wall behind the desk slides open, revealing the ship's control center... and Dr. Mittenhand, at a raised dais. His appearance can only be described as bizarre. He consists of nothing more than a head and an arm attached to a device that is half wheel-chair and half computer. There's a video camera attached to the chair, pointed at his head. He motors into the room as everybody reacts, shocked. BOOKS (awed) Holy shit... TINA My God... HAROLD You know... in person... you look much taller.

41.

Mittenhand glares at Harold who shrinks back. Mittenhand looks at the others. DR. MITTENHAND So... I'm not what you expected. No matter. (to Tina) Try not to look quite so horrified, Doctor. I'm still the same seductively brilliant and powerful man I was before. (smiles at the others) Rather like the "Wizard of Oz," I suppose. Running things from behind a curtain. The only difference, gentlemen, is that this "Wizard" is NOT A FAKE!! (collects himself) In spite of my appearance, I am quite capable of running this ship and everything on it. Make no mistake, I am... IN COMMAND!! YOU WILL DO AS I SAY! Everybody is startled by the power inherent in Mittenhand's voice and attitude. DR. MITTENHAND (continuing) We have a contract, Sergeant. Do we not? Your time is up, that is true, but sub paragraph four states that I have the power to extend your contract in the event of an emergency. AND THAT IS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO!!! If you refuse to obey, you will be tried for mutiny and I promise you, YOU WILL BE SHOT!! On the other hand... if you follow my orders and manage to kill this creature... then I will arrange a very generous bonus for each of you. STICKS (beat, wanting the money) Sarge? METAL HEAD How much?

42.

DR. MITTENHAND Say... a hundred times what you are being paid now. STICKS I'm in. DANNY Yo. DELORES Count me in. But not for the money. I'm doin' this for Kowalski. METAL HEAD Books? BOOKS (to Mittenhand) I'm a marine. (to Metal Head) You tell me to stay... I'll stay. METAL HEAD (beat, to Mittenhand) Anybody who stays becomes a shareholder in everything you make off this deal. We want five percent of the gross on everything you bring up outta that cave. Anything over fifty million, we get another point as a bonus. DR. MITTENHAND Two and a half percent of the mineral rights... and that's net, not gross. No bonus. METAL HEAD Four percent and there's no deal without the bonus. DR. MITTENHAND Three percent with the bonus. METAL HEAD Done. DR. MITTENHAND I'll have the papers drawn up.

43.

METAL HEAD One more thing... (off Mittenhand's look) If I lose any more of my troops, yer ass is grass. Mittenhand smiles at Metal Head and reaches over to grab a bronze paperweight off the desk. He crushes it with his hand. DR. MITTENHAND Call me if you need me. Metal Head turns and leads the others out the door. Mittenhand smiles. 39 INT. CORRIDOR INTERSECTION. NIGHT. The Leprechaun perched on a ledge, watching the Marines hurrying through the ship. LEPRECHAUN Ah, good lads... stout-hearted and brave. Seems almost a shame to kill them, but the path to power is often stained with innocent blood and I will let nothing stop me from becoming a king. I'll have power and glory... and a beautiful queen to share it with. (mood darkens) "Share." Now there's a word that lies crooked upon me, the very sound of it sets my teeth to grinding and conjures up pictures of me gold being carted off to pay for feminine pleasures, leaving me with less than what I want, and what I want... is everything. (beat, makes a decision) I'll wed her, bed her... and bury her all in one day. (smiles; pleased with himself) I wonder if her father will pay for the wedding... and the funeral? Down below, Metal Head leading his Marines down a corridor. METAL HEAD Sticks! STICKS Yo! 39

44.

METAL HEAD You and Danny take the lower decks. Books... BOOKS Yo! METAL HEAD You and cupcake take the engine room and everything around it. They approach intersecting corridors. Books and Tina look at each other. Books is pissed at having to take her with him. She hates being called "cupcake." METAL HEAD (continuing) Delores... you're with me. Everybody stay in touch. Track the alien with yer locaters. Move out. Sticks goes right with Danny, Books goes left with Tina, while Metal Head and Delores continue on straight ahead. 40 INT. MINERAL PROCESSING AREA. NIGHT. 40

Shadows, giant machinery, etc. Subjective camera - the Leprechaun's p.o.v. peeks around to see... Sticks and Danny move into frame, very professional, covering for each other, etc. Danny hustles into a close-up and flattens himself up against the side of a huge piece of machinery. The tension is evident from his rapid breathing and the sweat dripping off his face. He looks around for some sign of the Leprechaun. The Leprechaun gestures and Sticks' locater shorts out. STICKS (re: locater, smacks it with his hand) Thing ain't workin'. (into his headset) Sarge? You there? METAL HEAD (O.S.) (static, voice from radio) Sticks? STICKS Our locater don't work, man. So, if anybody spots him... METAL HEAD (O.S.) We'll let ya know.

45.

The Leprechaun's evil eyes peer through some pipe. DANNY (seeing nothing) This blows... why don't we sit this one out. STICKS Say what? DANNY We find a nice safe place to hole up until they get the bastard. We collect our bonus and go home. I mean... why risk our lives for that maniac, Dr. Mittenhand. Did you get a look at that guy? Hell, he ain't hardly even human. STICKS This ain't about him, man. This is about us stickin' together and doin' our job. DANNY Well, I ain't takin' any chances. You understand? STICKS Move yer ass, Danny. Danny hesitates, wondering if he should stand up to Sticks, but decides not to. He takes a quick look around the corner of the machinery they're hiding behind and then moves on out of frame. Sticks covers Danny, then goes after him. The Leprechaun smiles, savoring the prospect of forthcoming mayhem. 41 INT. ENGINE ROOM. NIGHT. 41

Books and Tina walk up to a catwalk that extends out over a monstrous piece of machinery. They look around. BOOKS Wait here until I check out the other side. TINA (pushes in front of him) I'll go first.

46.

He reaches to stop her, she glares at him and he lets her go. Tina across the catwalk. Books follows, noticing for the first time her rather shapely derriere. 42 INT. BIOLOGY LAB. NIGHT. 42

Montage of shots: Harold siphons a small sample of blue blood from Zarina in the bio-dome. Outside at a workbench he scrapes a sample of Mittenhand's skin on to a glass slide. Mittenhand drips some of Zarina's blood onto the skin sample. He turns and places the slide underneath some sort of apparatus. He nods to Harold who presses a button and a cone of blue light flashes onto the slide. ANGLE ON THE SLIDE - bathed in blue light as the skin sample gradually expands into a full sized finger. Dr. Mittenhand and Harold move into frame and look down at the finger. DR. MITTENHAND I am... BRILLIANT! 43 INT. HANGAR SIZED ROOM. NIGHT. 43

Metal Head and Delores enter a dark, cavernous area. Pipes criss cross the walls and ceiling, all of them beading with condensation. Water drips from the ceiling. Metal Head stops and checks his locater, turning a semi-circle, covering the area in front of them. DELORES (a hoarse whisper) Sarge? METAL HEAD Yeah... DELORES You don't think... (beat) You don't think Kowalski gettin' killed was my fault, do ya? METAL HEAD Whattya mean? DELORES Well... I mean... I'm the one who gave him the boner and all...

47.

METAL HEAD Forget it. Kowalski woulda' wanted it that way. He was a Marine. When my time comes, I hope I'm standin' tall just like Kowalski was. DELORES Really? Delores gives Metal Head a mildly seductive look. He gives her a look, then moves off into the darkness. METAL HEAD Books? Where are ya? BOOKS (O.S.) Engine room. Nothin' yet. METAL HEAD Sticks? Danny? STICKS (O.S.) There's a tunnel here, Sarge. METAL HEAD Check it out. 44 INT. TUNNEL. NIGHT. 44

Sticks and Danny climbing down through a manhole sized entry into a dark tunnel. They flick on their flashlights and check the damp walls out. Sticks puts his flashlight under his chin and lights up his face. STICKS (Stepin Fetchit) Lawdy, Mista Daniel, it sho be dark in heah. DANNY Uh-huh... laugh it up, wise guy... you won't be so funny when that little bastard shoves a laser up your ass. STICKS C'mon, feet... do yo' stuff. Sticks shuffles off. Danny gives him a disgusted look and follows.

48.

45

INT. ENGINE ROOM. NIGHT.

45

Books and Tina walking atop some huge piece of machinery. Books' locater begins to BEEP. He holds it up, turning left, then right. The BEEPS get louder. BOOKS Got him. (into his headset) Sarge? METAL HEAD (O.S.) (over the radio) Yeah. BOOKS He's here. METAL HEAD (O.S.) Where are ya? BOOKS Engine room. METAL HEAD (O.S.) Everybody copy that? Sticks? Danny? (no response) Sticks! (no response) We're on our way, Books. 46 INT. TUNNEL. NIGHT. 46

Sticks and Danny making their way through the narrow tunnel. Sticks halts and taps his headset. STICKS I can't hear nothin'. No static... nothin'. DANNY That's cause we're in a deep, dark hole. Let's get outta here. Sticks looks around, then moves on ahead. Danny follows. 47 A47 Omit INT. CHANNELS. NIGHT. 47 A47

Books and Tina coming to the catwalk they crossed previously.

49.

TINA We're not going back, are we? BOOKS Not "we," you. I'll wait over here for the others. TINA I thought we went through all this... I'm part of this operation. I have a job to do. BOOKS So do I. Part of my job is to see that nothing happens to you. TINA I'm not going back. BOOKS Looks, doc... TINA Tina. Call me... Tina. BOOKS You're in the way here, Tina. You don't know how to use a weapon and you're not trained for combat. You could get us both killed! TINA I can assure you, Sergeant, that I am quite capable of taking care of myself. Books tries to control his temper. He doesn't like being defied by a civilian, especially a female. BOOKS Awright... we'll both go. (gestures) You first. TINA No. BOOKS Oh, fer... Books steps past her. She watches him.

50.

BOOKS (stops, looks back at her) C'mon... She follows him. The locater BEEPS faster. Books looks up at some dripping chains and cables that hang from the ceiling. Is the Leprechaun up there? He moves to his right, peering upward into the shadows. He puts his hand on a pipe and leans forward to look up into a corner of the ceiling. Suddenly a handcuff is snapped closed over his wrist, binding him to the pipe. He jerks on it, trying to free himself. BOOKS What the hell...? TINA (moving toward him) What is it? LEPRECHAUN (O.S.) Yer busted, lad. ANGLE ON THE LEPRECHAUN - near a bulkhead, peering around a corner. LEPRECHAUN (continuing) Fer trespassin'... and the sentence is death. He CACKLES INSANELY and sends a FIREBALL toward Books and Tina who flinch from the sheet of flame sent toward them. Books recovers and fires a burst at the Leprechaun who ducks out of sight. BOOKS Tina! Go! Get outta here! TINA What about you?! BOOKS Never mind me! Move! TINA I'm not going anywhere! LEPRECHAUN Hot stuff comin' down! The Leprechaun sends another blast of fire at Books and Tina. Tina SCREAMS as Books covers her with his body.

51.

LEPRECHAUN (continuing) How do ya want it? Medium, or well done? He sends another blast of flame as Books turns and fires another burst at him. The Leprechaun ducks as bullets ricochet around him. BOOKS (pushing Tina away) Back off! Books brings his rifle up and shoots the handcuff off his wrist. The Leprechaun sends another blast of fire at them. Books fires another burst at the Leprechaun and then looks around for a way out. He sees some chains hanging from the ceiling in a kind of block and tackle arrangement and shoves Tina toward it. BOOKS C'mon... Books turns and fires another burst at the Leprechaun before turning to help Tina with the chains. BOOKS We're goin' up! TINA But... I can't... BOOKS (fires another burst at the Leprechaun) Move or die, dammit!! Let's go! The Leprechaun sends another blast of flames toward them as Books and Tina start their ascent. Books fires another burst at the Leprechaun who ducks back out of sight. LEPRECHAUN - peering around the corner, watching them ascending. LEPRECHAUN Clever lad. But I'll roast 'em yet. This barbecue has only begun. CUT TO TINA AND BOOKS SAFELY OUT OF THE LEPRECHAUN'S REACH. He puts his hand on her butt now and boosts her up out of frame. He glances at his hand, realizing where it was. Hmm. He reaches, grabs the cable and starts up after her.

52.

48 A48

Omit CATWALK

48 A48

Tina straddling the rail, reaching to help as Books swings himself over the rail of the catwalk and drops down beside her. She reaches out and falls into his arms. He holds her about a foot off the ground. BOOKS Y'awright? TINA You saved my life... BOOKS Part of the job. Tina leans in and kisses him. TINA Thanks. He nods, staring into her eyes, wanting more. TINA (continuing, beat) You can put me down now. Books lets her slide slowly down his front, their eyes locked onto each other. He doesn't seem to want to let her go, so she reaches to take his arm from around her. TINA (continuing) You're really good... with that rifle. BOOKS Wanna try it on? He shoves the rifle at her, their eyes still locked together. TINA It's big, isn't it? BOOKS Some day I'll show ya how to use it. We hear RUNNING FOOTSTEPS approaching in the distance.

53.

METAL HEAD (O.S.) Books! They both look over Books' shoulder, and then into each other's eyes again. The spell is broken. She returns his rifle. TINA Thanks... but I don't think I'm the killer type. BOOKS Right time, right place... we're all killers. MARINES - Metal Head and Delores trot into frame. Books is using his bayonet to pick the lock on the handcuffs. METAL HEAD Ya get him? BOOKS (as the handcuffs pop open) Naw... he got away. Where's Sticks and Danny? METAL HEAD (looking at his locater) I don't know. I gave the order to converge... maybe they're on their way. (locater begins to BEEP) That's him. (gestures) Let's go. Metal Head leads them out of frame. 49 INT. TUNNEL. NIGHT. Sticks and Danny in the tunnel. DANNY (into his headset) Sarge? You read me? Books? Anybody? (looks at Sticks) Man, I told ya we shouldn't of come down here! STICKS Relax... gotta be an exit comin' up soon. (MORE) 49

54. STICKS (cont'd) (checks his locater, smacks it with his hand) Man... cheap ass equipment. Nothin' works. They hear a METAL DOOR slam shut. DANNY What was that? We hear the LEPRECHAUN'S CACKLE echo down the tunnel. LEPRECHAUN Helllll-oooooo. Anybody heeeere?? STICKS I think we found him. DANNY I'm outta here... Danny takes off running. STICKS Hey! Get back here! Danny!! Sticks looks back in the Leprechaun's direction, thinking it over. He shines his light down the tunnel and then reacts when it begins to flicker and go out. STICKS (continuing) Shit... Sticks turns and retreats, going after Danny. A sudden shock moment as the LEPRECHAUN'S face appears out of the shadows. 50 INT. TUNNEL. NIGHT 50

DANNY - terrified, starts running full tilt down the tunnel. He gets to a door, goes through it and slams it shut. We hear a LOCK being thrown. Sticks, who didn't see the Leprechaun, trots up and pushes against the door. STICKS (continuing) Danny... it's me! Danny! Open the damn door, man! DANNY - on the other side of the door, breathing heavily, sweating. We hear Sticks pounding on the door.

55.

STICKS (O.S.) Danny... c'mon man... I don't have any light! Danny! Danny moves out of frame, leaving Sticks behind. STICKS - leaning against the door. He turns to look back down the tunnel, hefting his weapon into a firing position. STICKS Awright... c'mon, you sonofabitch. Come and get it. 51 INT. MACHINE REPAIR ROOM. NIGHT. 51

Danny comes out a door and enters a big room filled with machinery in need of repair. The door slams shut behind him. Danny turns and tries to open it. Locked. He leans against the door to catch his breath, his eyes probing the shadows. A computer screen suddenly turns itself on. The Leprechaun appears dressed as a factory foreman, holding a large pair of scissors. There is a large band-aid on his cheek. He talks to the camera while snipping off fingers of his hand one by one. Little squirts of green blood accompany each snip. LEPRECHAUN Let's talk about safety in the workplace. (snip) Be careful when handling sharp instruments. Watch out for naked flames. (his index finger catches fire) Danny freaks out and raises his gun, about to blast the monitor. The screen immediately switches off. Danny looks around. LEPRECHAUN (O.S.) (singing) Oh... Danny booooy... the fifes are playin'... Oh, Danny boooy... Danny fires a burst into the shadows. We hear the Leprechaun CACKLE. LEPRECHAUN (O.S.) What's the matter lad... don't like my singin'?

56.

DANNY Listen to me! I got no fight with you! You want that alien broad... take her! Hell, I don't care! You understand! I just wanna... (a hoarse croak) ...live. LEPRECHAUN (O.S.) Aw... of course ya do. But, I'm not after you, lad. DANNY (peering into the darkness) Yer not? LEPRECHAUN (O.S.) Nooo. As a matter of fact... I could use some help. DANNY Oh, yeah? LEPRECHAUN - crouched on top of a big hunk of machinery, cables dangling around him. LEPRECHAUN (evil smile) Maybe we could be partners. Danny's face assumes a crafty look. DANNY Yeah... that'd be okay with me. LEPRECHAUN (O.S.) But, I don't know if I could trust you, lad. DANNY Naw... you can trust me. LEPRECHAUN Let's talk it over... face to face. DANNY Sure... why not? Where are ya? LEPRECHAUN (O.S.) Over here... standin' on the work bench.

57.

Danny moves to a piece of machinery and peers over the top of it. DANNY'S POV - we see the Leprechaun standing atop a workbench. DANNY Be right there. Danny moves at an oblique angle, circling to get behind the Leprechaun. We FOLLOW him as he gets behind the Leprechaun. LEPRECHAUN Where are ya, Danny-boy? DANNY (taking a bead on the Leprechaun, whispers to himself) Right here... LEPRECHAUN - standing on the work bench. He holds up a remote control device and presses a button. A red light flashes. DANNY - poised to squeeze the trigger and blow the Leprechaun's head off. A RATTLING OF CHAINS from above makes him look up. DANNY YAAAHHH! A huge, twenty ton piece of machinery drops down on Danny, obliterating him. The Leprechaun walks into frame. LEPRECHAUN Smashing... simply smashing. 52 INT. MANHOLE. NIGHT. Sticks climbing up out of a manhole as Books, Tina, Metal Head and Delores come around a corner. STICKS Hey! The Marines and Tina hustle over to Sticks. METAL HEAD Where's Danny? STICKS What's left of Danny you could slide under a door. 52

58.

METAL HEAD Sonofabitch. We'll get that little bastard and then I'm gonna go upstairs and punch Mittenhand's ticket for him. 53 INT. BIOLOGY LAB. NIGHT. Dr. Mittenhand moves from the lab to arrive at the central bio-dome. DR. MITTENHAND Harold... prepare the DNA. I have the formula. Mittenhand turns to look over at Harold who is using an i.v. to drain blue blood from the unconscious Princess Zarina. HAROLD May I say what a privilege it is to work with such a great genius. DR. MITTENHAND And may I say how much I loathe and despise toadies like you. HAROLD (a slight bow) Thank you. And may I say it is an honor to be despised by such a magnificent mind, an intellectual giant... DR. MITTENHAND Oh, shut up. HAROLD I'd love to, thank you so much. DR. MITTENHAND I wonder if you know what this means to me, Harold. For years I've waited for an opportunity to rejoin the human race. Did you know that I was once considered quite dashing? HAROLD Really? I mean... yes... of course. DR. MITTENHAND And then the experiment... 53

59.

HAROLD The experiment? DR. MITTENHAND Yes. I would have been the first computer with an organic structure. HAROLD Something went wrong? DR. MITTENHAND No, Harold, it all went according to plan. Moron! Look at me! (beat) But now... with her DNA, I shall recreate Mittenhand! I shall rise like a Phoenix from the ashes and stand triumphant before the world! I will be... BEAUTIFUL! HAROLD Cool. 54 INT. ELEVATOR PLATFORM. NIGHT. The Marnes trot toward a bulkhead entryway. METAL HEAD Delores, you're up! 54A INT. BULKHEAD. NIGHT. 54A 54

Delores moves to the head of the small column and dashes through the bulkhead entry as the others hang back. She pauses on the other side of the entry, sweeping the area with her weapon. DELORES Clear! Suddenly the bulkhead door slides shut before the other Marines can get through. DELORES - She punches buttons, trying to open the bulkhead door, but it won't budge. Books appears at a square of glass in the middle of the door. BOOKS Open it! DELORES It won't work!

60.

BOOKS, TINA, METAL HEAD AND STICKS BOOKS The wiring... Books turns and shoots the cover off a wiring grid. He squats to check the wiring. We see Delores in the glass, staring out at them. METAL HEAD Just be a minute, kid! 55 INT. BULKHEAD. NIGHT DELORES - turns and finds the Leprechaun leaning casually against a rail. LEPRECHAUN Aw... couldn't yer friends make it, lass? Too bad. Delores brings her weapon up and fires a long burst into the Leprechaun, shredding him into tiny, little, green, steaming pieces. DELORES Sarge! I got him!! I got him!! She walks over to his shelaleigh. It stands where it fell upright, pinned in a hole in the grating. She curiously examines it. DELORES (continuing) Awright... one for the good guys... As she reaches out to touch it, suddenly the shelaleigh "morphs" into the Leprechaun. He grabs her and pitches her over the railing. She grabs on to keep from falling, her legs dangling over the edge. She SCREAMS. The Leprechaun walks over and looks at her. LEPRECHAUN (continuing) Oooh... living on the edge, aren't we? DELORES Sarge... help me!! 55

61.

56

INT. BULKHEAD. NIGHT

56

BOOKS, TINA, METAL HEAD AND STICKS - Books connects a couple of wires and we see sparks fly. BOOKS Shit... METAL HEAD Hang on, Delores! Tina squats beside Books, watching him work. He looks at her and sees that she is impressed with his grace under pressure. 57 PLATFORM - the Leprechaun kneels over Delores who is trying desperately to hang on. LEPRECHAUN Feel like hangin' around? Well... there's no future in that. How about a little game me mother taught me. (reaches to pry one of her fingers loose) This little piggy went to market... (pries another one loose) ...this little piggy stayed home. 58 BROOKS, TINA, METAL HEAD AND STICKS 58 57

Books working with a jillion wires, searching for the right ones. BOOKS I've got it... 59 PLATFORM 59

- the Leprechaun is about to pry another of Delores' fingers loose. LEPRECHAUN This little piggy had bread and butter... 60 BOOKS, TINA, METAL HEAD AND STICKS 60

- as Books connects the right wires and the bulkhead door opens just a little. Books moves to try and squeeze through. He can't quite make it.

62.

LEPRECHAUN AND DELORES - the Leprechaun looking over his shoulder at Books trying to squeeze through the bulkhead, reaching toward them with one hand. BOOKS You bastard!!! The Leprechaun smiles and then turns to pry Delores' fingers up. LEPRECHAUN ...and they all went wee-wee-wee... all the way home. He pries her fingers loose and she SCREAMS as she starts her fall. The Leprechaun watches her fall and then looks back toward the entry to the bulkhead. Books is using all his strength to push the door open. LEPRECHAUN (continuing) Just in time, to be too late. He CACKLES and leaps onto a metal pole before sliding down out of sight. Books pushes the door open and the Marines rush into the bulkhead. They swarm over the platform and find that he's gone... as is Delores. Sticks picks up Delores' rifle. Tina peers over the side of the platform and sees Delores below. She recoils with a horrified GASP. 61 LOWER CATWALK 61

- Delores lying sprawled on the metal floor, blood seeping from the corner of her mouth. The Marines come rushing over to her. Tina pushes through and kneels beside her. She slides an arm under Delores' neck and lifts her. TINA Delores? BOOKS She's gone, Tina. Tina starts to set Delores down again, when suddenly, Delores' eyes snap open and she reaches out and grabs Tina's shirt-front, pulling herself up so they are face to face. DELORES (a terrible effort to speak) Kill him!

63.

Delores' eyes roll up into out SIGH. Tina gently sets her feet. The Marines part suddenly, transformed. She from Sticks. She pulls the the chamber.

her head and she dies with a drawn her down and then slowly gets to as she walks past them, turning reaches to take Delores' rifle slide back, jacking a round into

TINA Well... you heard her. Let's get that sonofabitch. 62 INT. BIOLOGY LAB. NIGHT. 62

Dr. Mittenhand punching more data into his computer. Rows of numbers flit across the screen, filling it with data we can't even begin to comprehend. Harold walks into frame and holds up a test-tube filled with a murky looking liquid. HAROLD It's ready. Dr. Mittenhand's face lights up as he takes the test-tube. DR. MITTENHAND Yessss... finally... 63 INT. CORRIDOR. JUST OUTSIDE THE LAB. NIGHT. LEPRECHAUN (sniffing) Ahhh... the delicate scent of my own true love. He looks up and sees a surveillance camera. 64 INT. BIOLOGY LAB. NIGHT. Mittenhand still at his computer. We hear an ELECTRONIC "BING." DR. MITTENHAND Harold, see who's at the door. ENTRANCE TO LAB - Harold walks up and looks at the monitor by the door. We see Tina, apparently naked, holding her hands over her breasts, crying. TINA Let me in... please! They tore all my clothes off... please... let me in before they come back! Harold's eyes bug out at the prospect of seeing Tina naked. 64 63

64.

HAROLD Dr. Reeves? TINA Please open the door... hurry! HAROLD Okay... wait... uh... I have to disable the security system... uh... A64 INT. BIOLOGY LAB. NIGHT A64

We view Tina from behind her bare back. Suddenly she changes into the Leprechaun LEPRECHAUN (using Tina's voice) Oh, thank you... thank you... you saved my life. B64 INT. BIOLOGY LAB. NIGHT B64

Harold uses a keyboard to punch in a string of codes and we hear the DOOR UNLOCK. He reaches and jerks it open, expecting to see a naked Tina. HAROLD Oh, no... The Leprechaun swings his shelaleigh as though taking a golfing chip shot and connects with Harold's testicles. Harold folds up with a groan, the shelaleigh clasped between his thighs. LEPRECHAUN Hold that for me, will you? (walking past Harold) Make way for the king. The Leprechaun saunters past Harold and moves in Mittenhand's direction. LEPRECHAUN - hurries over to Dr. Mittenhand who turns, surprised to see the Leprechaun. DR. MITTENHAND You are the monster? You?? Mittenhand lets go with a derisive LAUGH.

65.

DR. MITTENHAND (continuing) I'm sorry, I really don't want to be rude... but I had no idea. I mean, how very droll you are, how wonderfully amusing. Mittenhand CHUCKLES again. LEPRECHAUN You find me laughable? DR. MITTENHAND Only slightly, dear boy. Only slightly. I suppose now you'll want to kill me. LEPRECHAUN Which part is it that still lives? The arm? Or the bald thing in the middle? DR. MITTENHAND Oh... touche'. Yes... very good. But don't let my appearance fool you. LEPRECHAUN I was about to say the same thing. HAROLD - somewhat recovered, takes the shelaleigh from between his legs and looks at it. He accidentally springs the blade and realizes he has a weapon. He turns toward the Leprechaun. DR. MITTENHAND Perhaps we can come to an arrangement. It appears to me that we have a lot in common. You're a monster, and in my own charming way, so am I. I'm greedy and you're insatiable... two peas in a pod, don't you think? LEPRECHAUN Then you ought to know that what I want you can't give me! I want a throne, I want to be king! I want people groveling at my feet! I want respect!

66.

DR. MITTENHAND (sees Harold sneaking up behind the Leprechaun) Respect is nothing. Fear makes the universe go round, my friend. Fear is what you want. Unfortunately, you won't live long enough to frighten anyone ever again. Harold? Mittenhand gestures for Harold to kill the Leprechaun. Harold runs the Leprechaun through with the shelaleigh, the blade coming out the Leprechaun's chest. Leprechaun looks down at his chest, and then round at Harold. LEPRECHAUN Thanks for returning it, lad. Mittenhand blanches at the Leprechaun's apparent imperviousness to pain. Harold stands there, stunned. Dripping green blood makes a four-leaf clover pattern on the floor. Harold turns and makes a break for the door. The Leprechaun pulls the shelaleigh out of his body and gestures with it, towards Harold who is suddenly flung up against the wall. The Leprechaun gestures with the shelaleigh at a steel platter covered with beakers and test-tubes. The platter flies through the air, scattering its contents, and mashes Harold's face. The platter falls away and we see that Harold's face is flat and round as a pancake. All that remain of Harold's features are two crossed eyes, a tiny nose and jug ears. The Leprechaun CACKLES as Harold slumps to the ground. LEPRECHAUN (turning to Mittenhand) Now, me boy-o, you'll have to be punished... 65 INT. STAIRWELL. DECK 5. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. The Marines and Tina pounding down a stairwell. Metal Head pauses, checking his locater device. METAL HEAD He's in the lab! Tina cocks gun, Books looks over. BOOKS Let me guess, Scouts? TINA Nah, ROTC. 65

67.

66

INT. BIOLOGY LAB. NIGHT. We see Dr. Mittenhand chained to the wheelchair with his mouth gagged. LEPRECHAUN - bending over the bed to kiss Princess Zarina. She awakens, looks up at him and... SCREAMS! LEPRECHAUN (sighs) Ahhh... she loves me. The Princess sits up in bed and looks around. She looks at Dr. Mittenhand. PRINCESS ZARINA I had a dream he was draining my blood. Destroy him. LEPRECHAUN I have something better in store for him, my lovely. Mittenhand's eyes widen with trepidation as the Leprechaun CACKLES.

66

67

INT. CORRIDOR. DECK 2. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. The Marines and Tina piling out from a doorway, running toward and then past US.

67

68

INT. BIOLOGY LAB. NIGHT.

68

The Leprechaun pours the Princess' DNA into a swirling blender. He HUMS a little tune as he works. He walks over to a cage and opens it. He reaches in and comes out with a nice, big spider. He holds it up in front of Mittenhand. LEPRECHAUN A little added spice. The Leprechaun drops the spider into the blender then adds a scorpion, so that it's mixed in with the DNA. Mittenhand GROANS in trepidation. 69 INT. CORRIDOR. DECK 2. BEHEMOTH. NIGHT. 69

The Marines and Tina burst through another door and continue running down a corridor.

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70

INT. BIOLOGY LAB. NIGHT.

70

Princess Zarina looks on with bored indifference as the Leprechaun fills a huge syringe with the concoction from the bowl. He turns toward the bound and gagged Dr. Mittenhand and smiles. LEPRECHAUN Dinner is served. Dr. Mittenhand shakes his head violently. "No!" The Leprechaun walks over and climbs up onto Mittenhand's wheelchair. He gets a hammerlock on the doctor's skull. LEPRECHAUN (continuing) Let's see if we can't get this through your thick skull, Doctor. He jabs the needle into Mittenhand's skull and injects the contents into his brain. Mittenhand's head snaps back, his eyes wide, the hypo protruding from his skull. He lets out a LOUD MUFFLED GROAN through the gag tied across his mouth. LEPRECHAUN (continuing) Ya like it? It's from an old family recipe. Mittenhand begins spastically twitching as the Leprechaun CACKLES. We hear a NOISE near the lab entrance. Princess Zarina turns to look. PRINCESS ZARINA They're here! 71 ANGLE ON THE LAB ENTRANCE 71

- as the Marines burst through the door. Sticks slides across the tile floor and comes to rest next to Dr. Mittenhand, who is twitching violently, the hypo still sticking out of his skull. Metal Head moves forward in a crouch. METAL HEAD Let her go, or yer dead meat! LEPRECHAUN Take a bite of this! He lets loose a burst. The Marines dive for cover.

69.

LEPRECHAUN (continuing; pulling the Princess after him) Follow me, my love! The Leprechaun leads the Princess toward another room and fires another burst as he goes. COUNTER WITH SINK AND FAUCET - we see glass containers blown apart by the Leprechaun's bullets. A container marked HCL explodes and showers hydrochloric acid all over the place. Tina stands up from behind the counter and we see smoke pouring off her body armor. TINA Books! Acid!! Books hurries over and starts ripping her body armor off. Sticks moves into frame with a large beaker of water. STICKS Look out... Books backs off and Sticks douses Tina with water to neutralize the acid. Books finishes getting her body armor off. We see that her t-shirt is ripped and has some holes burned into it. She looks pretty good like this, arms buffed, pecs... uh... well-developed. BOOKS Y'awright? TINA Yeah, I think so. He looks her over, liking what he sees. METAL HEAD Let's go. 72 INT. ANOTHER ROOM IN THE LAB. NIGHT. 72

The Leprechaun leads the Princess inside and turns to fire a burst at Metal Head who ducks back out of sight, but manages to jam the door open with a fallen piece of debris. 73 MARINES 73

- outside the room where the Leprechaun and the Princess are hiding. Sticks sidles up to Books who is flattened against the wall, and produces a grenade.

70.

STICKS I'm takin' him out. TINA (reaching to grab Sticks' arm) You'll kill the Princess. STICKS It's them or us, dammit! TINA I want him worse than you do, Sticks, but we can't start killing innocent people! Besides, she's a member of the Dominian royal family! STICKS Man, I don't care if she's the queen of soul, that bastard killed Delores! METAL HEAD At ease, Sticks. Cupcake is right. Try not to hit the woman. Books, yer up. Books nods, looks over at Tina. She's afraid he'll be killed. BOOKS Cover me. 74 STICKS AND TINA 74

move to either side of the entrance. Books sets himself and then nods. They both fire bursts into the room and then Books dives through the doorway, coming up ready to fire. The Princess stands there, arms folded over her ample chest, haughty looking. PRINCESS ZARINA Kneel before me, swine! I am the future queen of Dominia! Sticks and Tina sidle in, weapons ready, looking for the Leprechaun. STICKS Where is he??

71.

They move toward Books. Metal Head enters last and the Leprechaun appears near his feet. He waves his shelaleigh producing explosives all over Metal Head. LEPRECHAUN Here I am, lads! Everybody turns, bringing their weapons up. BOOKS Hold yer fire! Metal Head looks down at all the explosives. METAL HEAD To hell with that... blow the sonofabitch to pieces! BOOKS Can't do that, Sarge... we'll all go up. LEPRECHAUN Right you are, laddie. The Leprechaun taps Metal Head's skull with his shelaleigh, causing a green light to envelop Metal Head's skull, rendering the Sarge powerless to resist his commands. The Leprechaun floats down onto a table. LEPRECHAUN (continuing, holding up a pocket detonator) So, if you want to stay in one piece, keep yer distance. And now, the Princess and I will take our hostage elsewhere. Your majesty? Princess Zarina moves majestically to the Leprechaun's side, turns and faces the Marines. PRINCESS ZARINA You may find this cruel... but your behavior leaves me no choice! She opens her blouse, exposing her breasts to the Marines. 75 DR. MITTENHAND - in the other room. He suddenly spasms, his eyes snapping wide open, his entire body trembling violently. 75

72.

76

PRINCESS ZARINA AND THE MARINES

76

- as she proudly displays her breasts to them, striding in a one woman parade up and down the room. PRINCESS ZARINA This... is your fate! You have no one to blame but yourselves! Unspeakable pain awaits you... STICKS Whoa... hurt me, baby. Punish me. PRINCESS ZARINA Look upon them and know you are forever doomed! For I am she who is all powerful, I am... Zarina... queen of the damned! The Marines and Tina gape at the Princess' breasts. PRINCESS ZARINA (covers her breasts) I leave you, now, to ponder the remainder of your pathetic existence. (to the Leprechaun) Come... we go! The Princess turns and walks haughtily out of the room. LEPRECHAUN Ten-hut! Metal Head looks dazed as ne snaps to attention. LEPRECHAUN (continuing) A-bout... face! Metal Head does an about face. LEPRECHAUN (continuing) Forward... h-arch! Metal Head marches out of the room. The Leprechaun follows, gesturing the detonator as a warning. The Marines move to the door and flatten themselves on either side, peering out to watch them exit.

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STICKS Man... that girl knows how to get your attention. TINA Don't get too excited. On the planet Dominia, when a person of royal blood shows you her breasts, it's a death sentence. STICKS (reacts to that) Which part of her anatomy is she gonna kill me with? BOOKS We'll stay close... look for a clean shot on the creature. Ready? Sticks nods. Tina nods. Books leads them out. A76 INT. BIO LAB. A76

We FOLLOW them into the main lab as they move toward the door. They pass Mittenhand's wheelchair and notice that Mittenhand is no longer part of it. His head and arm are gone, the chair wrecked and torn apart. Books and Tina look at the chair, then at each other. They turn and go after Sticks. 77 INT. CORRIDOR. 77

Metal Head, in a trance, INTONING CADENCE, marches beside the Leprechaun and the Princess. PRINCESS ZARINA We will return in triumph to Dominia! You will sweep my father from his throne and we shall rule the world! LEPRECHAUN Yes, my queen! PRINCESS ZARINA But first, you must execute these peasants. Have them boiled in oil... or, perhaps we shall enjoy seeing them eaten by the wild dogs of Nay-tron.

74.

LEPRECHAUN Leave it to me my love... they will pay dearly for their insolence. 78 BOOKS, TINA AND STICKS - moving down the corridor, following the Leprechaun, the Princess and Metal Head. Books holds a hand up, stopping Sticks and Tina. BOOKS Not too close. STICKS Where the hell are they goin'? BOOKS Probably headin' for the shuttle. Books listens for a beat, then signals them to follow him as he moves out. LEPRECHAUN, PRINCESS ZARINA AND METAL HEAD - as they round a corner. LEPRECHAUN Halt. Metal Head stops. The Leprechaun listens. We hear FOOTSTEPS. Then nothing. LEPRECHAUN (continuing, to Zarina) We don't want to lose them. PRINCESS ZARINA You're wasting time... kill them, now! I command you! LEPRECHAUN You forget... I am a king! PRINCESS ZARINA Not until I say so. LEPRECHAUN Yes... my queen. Of course. (to himself) She'll never live through the honeymoon. PRINCESS ZARINA What?? 78

75.

LEPRECHAUN Nothing, my queen. Nothing at all. (nudges Metal Head) In there... quickly! Metal Head carries the Leprechaun over toward the entrance to the entertainment lounge. Princess Zarina glares after them. PRINCESS ZARINA Five minutes after I have your gold, "my lord," you will lose your head. 80 INT. ENTERTAINMENT LOUNGE. NIGHT. 80

The Leprechaun, Princess Zarina and Metal Head move into the light surrounding the dance floor. LEPRECHAUN Now, me boy-o, we'll show them what kind of man you really are. The Leprechaun taps Metal Head's skull plate and we see that green light again enveloping Metal Head's skull. 81 CORRIDOR 81

Books, Sticks and Tina taking up positions outside the entertainment lounge. The door is open slightly and Books uses the barrel of his weapon to open it a bit more, peering inside. He opens the door further and steps inside. 82 INT. ENTERTAINMENT LOUNGE. NIGHT. 82

Dark. All the lights are off, except for one at the bar, a feeble bulb that casts shadows over the place. Books slips into the shadows, flattens himself against the wall, weapon ready. Sticks comes in, takes a firing position. Tina comes in, weapon ready. Books moves ahead, cautious, ready to fight. Sticks and Tina move to flank him on either side, weapons ready. They make their way toward the darkened dance floor. Suddenly a big, glaring shaft of light slices into the darkness surrounding the dance floor. The Marines crouch, bringing their weapons up to fire. Nothing happens for a long beat. The Metal Head walks into the middle of the spot-light. He's dressed in a gold, sequined evening gown, complete with jewelry, high heels, etc. He wears a wig and makeup as well. We are allowed a few beats to take all this in as the Marines react with utter shock.

76.

STICKS Now, that's scary. BOOKS (amazed) Sarge? We hear MUSIC as Metal Head strikes a pose and sings. METAL HEAD "I'm just... mad about the boy..." (moving toward Sticks) "I know it's stupid to be mad about the boy. I'm so ashamed of it, but must admit... these sleepless nights... I'm mad about the boy." Metal Head has reached Sticks by now and with his last line he pivots and delivers a sharp blow with his elbow that knocks Sticks ass over end. 83 LEPRECHAUN AND PRINCESS ZARINA - watching from behind the bar. LEPRECHAUN Ah, this should be a darlin' floor show, don't ya think? PRINCESS ZARINA But, dear heart, love of my life, while we're wasting time here, someone could be collecting your gold. LEPRECHAUN Me gold?? PRINCESS ZARINA I heard them talking about it... apparently they've stolen a great deal of it from you. LEPRECHAUN (grabs her) Where is it?? PRINCESS ZARINA I believe it's in a place called... "cargo bay." Wherever that is. 83

77.

The Leprechaun makes an agonized face, his clawed fingers flexed in front of Zarina's face, as though he would like to rip her face off for not telling him sooner. He turns and hurries out of frame to go after his gold. The Princess CHUCKLES. PRINCESS ZARINA Delightful little fellow. I'll give him a splendid funeral. 84 CORRIDOR - The Leprechaun bursts out from a door and into the corridor. He strides toward US. The Princess follows him, delighted with her strategy. PRINCESS ZARINA Hurry, my lord... hurry! She LAUGHS. 85 ENTERTAINMENT CENTER - as Metal Head SINGS seductively and slinks toward Books. METAL HEAD "...On the silver screen, he melts my foolish heart in every... scene." Metal Head pivots and pulls a medieval mace from somewhere, whirls the spiked ball around on its chain and whacks Books across the head, delivering a glancing blow that knocks Books on his butt. Books gets to his feet, blood dripping from a wound on one side of his forehead. Metal Head turns, pulls a bayonet with a serrated edge. He smiles at Tina. METAL HEAD "Although I'm quite aware, that here and there..." Sticks and Tina come up, ready to fire. BOOKS Wait! Metal Head lunges at her with the bayonet and Tina parries his thrust with her rifle. He thrusts again and again she blocks him with her rifle. STICKS Books... I gotta take him out! 85 84

78.

Books gets to his feet and puts himself betwen Tina and Metal Head who continues to SING. BOOKS No, Sticks! He saved my life... I owe him... TINA He'll kill you! BOOKS Sarge? It's me... Books! Metal Head lunges at Books with the bayonet and Books sidesteps him, capturing Metal Head's right arm underneath his left so that they are face to face. BOOKS (continuing) Sarge... wake up! It's me! Metal Head picks Books up and throws him across the room. Books crashes into a table as Metal Head does a pirouette and throws the bayonet. Books ducks and the bayonet STICKS in the table beside his head. METAL HEAD "I'm just... mad about the boy..." 86 INT. SHIP'S CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. 86

We see the ship's computers, etc. And spider webs... everywhere, covering the entire room. PAN to the back of Dr. Mittenhand's head. He turns suddenly and we see that he's acquired a spider's mandible, and that he's slobbering and drooling repulsively. PULLBACK to show that Mittenhand is now half-spider, half-man. DR. MITTENHAND (laughs insanely) I can... WALLLLLLK!! He staggers a couple of steps and turns to see his reflection in the mirror. He's startled at first, afraid of the monster looking back at him from the mirror. He touches his face, the mandibles and realizes he's looking at his own reflection. He lets out a blood curdling SCREAM. 87 INT. ENTERTAINMENT LOUNGE. NIGHT. 87

Metal Head is still doing his chanteuse number, and doing it very well. Books, Tina and Sticks form a semi-circle around him, trying to contain him.

79.

BOOKS We gotta get outta here... the creature's probably on his way to the shuttle. We'll leave the Sarge here and come back for him later. STICKS I'll distract him... you guys go for the door. Sticks moves toward Metal Head. Books gestures for Tina to move toward the door. STICKS Hey, Sarge... wanna dance? Tina makes a move toward the door, but Metal Head is too quick for her, doing a pirouette and cutting her off from the door. He pulls a nanchuker and makes a threatening move toward her. Tina backs off. He does a series of those showoff moves with the nanchuker and takes a swipe at Tina, who parries the nanchuker with her rifle so that it wraps itself around her weapon. She tosses them aside. TINA Okay... that's it! I think we've been very patient with you, Sergeant. Now we're going to have to get serious. Tina assumes a karate stance and Metal Head makes a move toward her. She spins and kicks him in the gut, staggering him. STICKS Hey... nice move. 88 CORRIDOR - NEAR A COMPUTER TERMINAL 88

- as the Leprechaun stops to look at the computer terminal. The Princess hurries over to him. PRINCESS ZARINA Why are you stopping? LEPRECHAUN I don't want anyone following me to my gold. They'll have to be destroyed. All of them.

80.

PRINCESS ZARINA Well, it's about time! (off his look) Do it, do it! LEPRECHAUN (under his breath as he punches in data) Bitch. PRINCESS ZARINA (under her breath) Twerp. They look at each other, both innocent. They turn away, malevolence replacing innocence as the Leprechaun jams his shelaleigh into the computer and a crackling, green light envelops it. 89 INT. MITTENHAND'S OFFICE. NIGHT. Mittenhand typing data into the computer. MITTENHAND (as he types) Due to interference... my experiment... has gone awry. I have become... mutant... my brain... slowly losing human perspective... I am... no longer Mittenhand... I am... now... Mitten... spider. 90 COMPUTER TERMINAL 90 89

- we see the message, "ACTIVATE AUTO-DESTRUCT MECHANISM?" PULL BACK TO SHOW the Leprechaun as he lifts his finger and pauses. LEPRECHAUN Now... off with their heads. He punches a key and the computer is enveloped in a green light as a SIREN WHOOPS. COMPUTER VOICE (echoing down the corridor) Attention... attention... all personnel... the ship's autodestruct has been activated. You have twenty minutes to abandon ship!

81.

91

INT. ENTERTAINMENT LOUNGE. NIGHT.

91

Tina blocks a kick from Metal Head and spins out of the way. COMPUTER VOICE Repeat... the ship's auto-destruct mechanism has been activated. You have twenty minutes to abandon ship! BOOKS What the hell?? STICKS We're toast, dude. TINA Let's get... Metal Head swipes at her with a sword. She ducks and then kicks him in the gut. TINA (continuing) ...outta here! Metal Head staggers backwards and comes up with a bayoneted rifle. He turns and fires a burst at Books who dives for cover. Turning toward Sticks, Metal Head fires another burst, but Sticks makes a running leap over the bar. Metal Head turns to Tina and sees her scoop a rifle off the floor. She aims it at Metal Head who tilts his rifle up and begins SINGING again as if the rifle barrel were a microphone. Tina keeps her weapon pointed at Metal Head as he moves toward her, SINGING. BOOKS Take him out, Tina! You've got no choice!! STICKS Do it, lady! It's you or him! Metal Head lunges at her with the bayoneted rifle and she parries the thrust with her own weapon. She backs off as he lunges at her again... and again. Each time she parries his thrust until finally, he knocks it out of her hands. BOOKS - hustles over to scoop up his weapon off the floor. He brings it up, taking aim on Metal Head. He hesitates, taking his eyes from the sight to look once more at the man who carried him fifteen miles to safety. He has to save Tina. He sights in again and squeezes off a round.

82.

METAL HEAD - raising his weapon to finish Tina off. A bullet from Books' rifle ricochets off his skull plate. He staggers and does a half circle. METAL HEAD (dazed, holding his weapon up) This is my rifle... (grabs his own crotch) ...this is my gun... one is for killing, one is for fun. Books realizes his weapon is jammed and lowers it, trying to work the slide to free a spent casing. Metal Head turns on Tina again. She backs up and he goes into a crouch, rifle extended in front of him. METAL HEAD KILLLLLLLLLLL! Metal Head rushes toward Tina who staggers back until she hits the wall. On comes Metal Head, ready to plunge his bayonet into her. At the last second she pivots and Metal Head thrusts the bayonet into the wall where it pierces an electrical outlet. SPARKS FLY as jolts of electricity rip into Metal Head's body. Tina makes a run for it. Metal Head spasms and shakes, unable to let loose of the rifle. Tina runs to Books and they are joined by Sticks as they watch Metal Head being fried. Metal Head's skull plate begins to smoke and turn black as the lights above flicker on and off. Finally, Metal Head explodes. Books, Tina and Sticks flinch as Metal Head explodes, debris flying past them. After a beat, we FOLLOW them as they walk over to look down at Metal Head's corpse. We see wires and cables, etc. STICKS Damn... BOOKS He wasn't even human... TINA Cyborg.

83.

BOOKS (reaches to touch the burnt metal of his face) He wasn't even... STICKS Well... human or not... he was a Marine. BOOKS The best. TINA Are you okay? BOOKS I always wondered how he could have carried me fifteen miles over a mountain. Now I know. COMPUTER VOICE Attention... attention... you have eighteen minutes to abandon ship! They look at each other. BOOKS That little bastard's probably headed for the shuttle. Books gestures and Sticks pulls Tina away as they head for the door. 92 93 Omit LEPRECHAUN AND PRINCESS ZARINA - approaching intersecting corridors. COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have seventeen minutes to abandon ship! PRINCESS ZARINA You know, my father may not want to give up the throne. LEPRECHAUN No problem, I'll kill him. 92 93

84.

PRINCESS ZARINA How dare you?! He's my father! (as they move out of frame) I'll kill him. 94 INT. CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. 94

The place is filled with spider-webs. Mittenhand, sitting at the computer, listens to the COMPUTER VOICE. COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have sixteen minutes to abandon ship. MITTENHAND (his own voice) Nooo... you can't... my work... (guttural spider voice) ...flies! I need flies! (his own voice) Everything will be lost! (guttural spider voice) Feed me... bring me flies! (his own voice, forcing himself to concentrate) NOOO!! I must... save the ship... my work! He starts punching data into the computer, wanting to thwart the auto-destruct mechanism, but his spider brain is interfering. The computer screen shows us, "ENTER CODE FOR AUTO-DESTRUCT INTERRUPT." Mittenhand struggles to remember a code he himself devised. MITTENHAND The code... (trying to remember) ...the code... I have to remember... the code... (mumbling as he types) Mittenhand code sequence... 6993329, input... break... bring... me... F-L-I-E-S... flies?? Bring... me... flies?? (looks up, realizing) I... must... have... FLIIIIIIEEEEEESSSSS!!!! 95 INT. CARGO BAY #1. NIGHT. The shuttle waiting. The Leprechaun and Princess Zarina enter. The doors close behind them. 95

85.

LEPRECHAUN HA!! (locking the doors) We made it! The Leprechaun turns and points his shelaleigh at the shuttle. A green ray zaps the shuttle, encasing it in an angry green force field, reminiscent of "Forbidden Planet." PRINCESS ZARINA What are you doing, you fool?! We need that thing to escape! LEPRECHAUN Yes, my queen, but first we must find me gold. The force field is to make sure no one leaves without us. (to himself) Ya ball-bustin' bitch. PRINCESS ZARINA What did you say?? LEPRECHAUN Rich... you'll be rich, when we find me gold... so help me so we can get out of here! He hurries over to the connecting door that leads to the other cargo bay. She follows haughtily and they disappear into the other cargo bay. A95 CATWALK A95

Books, Tina and Sticks run along the catwalk to the airlock doors, leading to the cargo bay corridor. 96 CORRIDOR 96

Books, Tina and Sticks arriving at the doors to cargo bay #1. They try to open them, but they're locked. COMPUTER VOICE (O.S.) Attention... you have fourteen minutes to abandon ship. TINA Is there another way in? STICKS What about the ventilation system?

86.

BOOKS We'll try it, but we're running out of time... somebody's gotta neutralize that auto-destruct program in case we lose the shuttle. Sticks? Yer up. STICKS Talk to me... BOOKS See if you can get into the control room... TINA Dr. Mittenhand has a code book for everything he put into the computer system. I saw Harold with it, once. It has a red cover! STICKS I'll find it. Listen... if I can't crack it... you guys take off without me. BOOKS We all go together, or nobody goes at all. Books looks at Tina who nods. They look at Sticks. COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have thirteen minutes to abandon ship. BOOKS AND TINA Go. STICKS I'm already gone. Sticks takes off down the corridor. Books and Tina look at each other. BOOKS We're up. TINA I'm ready. They take off, headed for the ventilation system.

87.

97

INT. CARGO BAY #2. NIGHT. The Leprechaun and Princess Zarina searching through the islands of containers in the cargo bay, trying to find the gold. LEPRECHAUN I know it's here... I can smell it! PRINCESS ZARINA We don't have time for this!! We have to get out of here! LEPRECHAUN I won't leave without me gold. You want to go, then go! I won't stop ya! PRINCESS ZARINA I can't fly the shuttle. LEPRECHAUN Aw, what a pity. Then yer stuck, aren't ya? PRINCESS ZARINA You know, you're not the only wealthy suitor I've had! I could marry someone else! LEPRECHAUN With that face? I doubt it, my love. PRINCESS ZARINA (laughs) What are you talking about? I can have anyone I want! I'm beautiful! LEPRECHAUN Not quite, my love. You've got a tiny little blemish... right... there.

97

He reaches out with his shelaleigh and touches her forehead. 98 VENTILATION SYSTEM - Books and Tina crawling through the ventilation system. COMPUTER'S VOICE Attention... you have twelve minutes to abandon ship. 98

88.

99

INT. CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. Sticks bursts through the doors and runs into a mass of cobwebs. STICKS What the hell???

99

He uses his rifle to swipe at the cobwebs, clearing his way to the computer. He sets his rifle down and wipes away the cobwebs covering the computer before sitting down at the terminal. STICKS (continuing) Awright, Sticks... do your thing, man... be a hero... (sifting through some BOOKS beside the terminal) ...let's see... somethin' with a red cover... yeah... (finds it) ...got it. (flips it open) Now, lemme see... auto-destruct. He's flipping through the pages when suddenly a shadow falls over him and he looks up. STICS' POV - we see Mittenhand dropping down from the ceiling, his spider mandibles clicking open and shut as he drools over his prey. MITTENHAND Feed me... Sticks SCREAMS. 100 INT. CARGO BAY #1. NIGHT. 100

We see a panel with "VENTILATION SHAFT 3" painted across its surface. It slides open as Books and Tina appear and drop down to the floor. They look over at the shuttle. BOOKS AND TINA'S POV - we see the shuttle with a green force field surrounding it. TINA The shuttle, what's he done to it?

89.

BOOKS A force field of some kind. Touch it and we fry. COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have eleven minutes to abandon ship. BOOKS Let's find the little bastard and see if we can't make a deal. They head for the door to Cargo Bay #2. 101 CARGO BAY #2 101

- the Leprechaun and the Princess looking for the gold. Her back is to US. PRINCESS ZARINA If we don't leave now, we're doomed! Do you hear me?! The Leprechaun finds the box containing his gold and YELLS in triumph. He opens the box and sees a bunch of small nuggets. LEPRECHAUN Me gold!! What have they done to me gold??!! The Princess moves to look into the box. PRINCESS ZARINA This is it?? We spent all this time looking for pebbles? LEPRECHAUN They've shrunk it down to nothin'! PRINCESS ZARINA You stupid, ugly little fool! She said the wrong thing. The Leprechaun turns sharply, giving her a violently malicious glare. LEPRECHAUN Ugly am I? Have ya looked in the mirror lately, my darlin'? Do ya know what ya look like, my sweet? PRINCESS ZARINA What are you talking about? I know exactly what I look like! (MORE)

90. PRINCESS ZARINA (cont'd) I'm perfect... I'm breathtaking... I'm... The Leprechaun pulls out a large mirror. He holds it up in front of her. She turns toward US and we see these huge, pustulent eruptions all over her face. She sees her reflection and SCREAMS. He LAUGHS. LEPRECHAUN Shut yer cake hole, ya great heavin' zit! He waves his hand and the Princess' head is suddenly encased in an iron mask, muffling her SCREAMS. She staggers about, bumping into things, oblivious to everything around her. 102 BOOKS AND TINA 102

- entering Cargo Bay #2 from the door leading to Cargo Bay #1. They hear Zarina's SCREAMS and move in that direction, weapons ready. 103 INT. CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. Sticks wrapped up in over the computer as to turn the pages of he wants and punches 103

a webbed cocoon, hanging upside down he works one arm free and reaches down Mittenhand's program book. He finds what some data into the computer.

STICKS Yeah... awright... we're in... now... one step at a time... He punches in more data, then turns the page of the book. COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have nine minutes to abandon ship. 104 INT. CARGO BAY #2. NIGHT. The Leprechaun trying to figure out the controls on the reduction ray. LEPRECHAUN I'll have it all back the way it was... beautiful, shining gold... He reaches to grasp the switch in his hand. BOOKS (O.S.) Hold it! 104

91.

The Leprechaun turns to see Books and Tina pointing their weapons at him. LEPRECHAUN You again. Don't know when to give up, do ya? COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have eight minutes to abandon ship. BOOKS You hear that?? Look, you can keep yer stinkin' gold, and we'll let ya take that bimbo from hell with ya! Just show us how to neutralize the damned auto-destruct mechanism. LEPRECHAUN I'll neutralize somthin' for ya! The Leprechaun flips a weapon into view and sends a burst of gunfire at Books and Tina who dive for cover before opening up on the Leprechaun. LEPRECHAUN - taking cover. Fires another burst from his automatic weapon. 105 INT. CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. 105

Sticks punching in data with one hand. We get a look at the computer screen and see the words, "PASSWORD TO NEUTRALIZE AUTO DESTRUCT?" STICKS Password... what password?! Damn! Sticks punches a button on a control board next to the computer. STICKS (CONTINUING) Books!! Tina! 106 CARGO BAY #2 106

- Books and Tina firing from a prone position. The Princess staggers past them, clutching at her mask, trying to rip it off as she babbles incoherently. STICKS (O.S.) (voice coming over an intercom) Books! Can you hear me?

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BOOKS Sticks, nice of you to call! STICKS I got kinda hung up... BOOKS What? STICKS (O.S.) It's a long story... look, I need a password! I can't stop it without a password! BOOKS We gotta get up there... maybe we can figure it out! COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have seven minutes to abandon ship. TINA Somebody's gotta take that bastard out first. Cover me! She makes a break toward the Leprechaun. BOOKS No! Tina! Books moves to try and stop Tina and gets hit by a burst from the Leprechaun. He's thrown onto his back, wounded. LEPRECHAUN - moves away from the machine to gather up gold scattered on the floor by the exchange of gunfire. Tina sneaks up but at the last moment, the Leprechaun sees her. He aims his gun. TINA - reaches the reduction ray apparatus just as the Leprechaun fires a burst. Tina ducks, lurches against the machine and accidentally pulls the lever. CLOSE ON TINA'S HAND - as it hits the control lever, shifting it to ENLARGE. LEPRECHAUN - moving toward Tina to finish her off. LEPRECHAUN Now, me lass... yer finished!

93.

BOOKS - getting up. We see that the body armor around his left arm and shoulder has been shredded by the Leprechaun's bullets. A thin trickle of blood slides down his arm. He grabs his weapon and fires a burst at the Leprechaun. LEPRECHAUN - flinching as the bullets from Books ricochet around him, distracting him momentarily from finishing off Tina. TINA - pulling herself up, aiming the device at the Leprechaun, she pulls the trigger and it's a green light instead a blue light that zaps the Leprechaun. The Leprechaun is caught in the green light, his whole body lighting up as he YELLS in agony. His limbs twitch and spasm as his facial muscles convulse. Books runs over to join Tina. BOOKS Nice shot. TINA You're wounded. They both react to something happening to the Leprechaun. TINA (continuing) Oh, my God... LEPRECHAUN - as he begins to grow. He's still writhing in agony as his body begins to increase in size. BOOKS Sonofabitch is on steroids? COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have six minutes to abandon ship. The Leprechaun continues to rapidly expand upward and outward until he's a giant. He looks around and realizes how powerful he has become. He LAUGHS. LEPRECHAUN I'M HUGE!!! I'M... MAGNIFICENT!! He LAUGHS wickedly and takes a giant stride toward Books and Tina. Books pulls Tina toward the exit as they break into a run. Tina trips and falls. Books has to stop and help her to her feet.

94. The Leprechaun catches up to them, his giant foot coming down almost on top of Tina, but Books pulls her out of the way just in the nick of time. They run toward a stack of crates and duck behind it. BOOKS AND TINA - hiding behind the crates. BOOKS At least we won't have any trouble finding him now. STICKS (O.S.) Books! Are you guys still there! I need help, man!! Hurry! TINA Let's get out of here! LEPRECHAUN - taking a giant step forward, looking for Books and Tina. Princess Zarina staggers blindly into view. A shadow falls over her and she looks up. Her POV, we see the Leprechaun's foot coming down on her. She SCREAMS. BOOKS AND TINA - see the Princess squashed. They react, turning their eyes from the horrible sight. LEPRECHAUN Now who is king!! He LAUGHS and plods heavily towards Tina and Books. BOOKS (grabbing Tina) Now! They dart away from the crates as the Leprechaun's foot comes down, crushing everything beneath it. BOOKS AND TINA - ducking down behind some containers. BOOKS We'll have to split up... one of us get to that ventilation shaft over there... (hands her the pistol he's been carrying in his belt) I'll distract him... you make a break for it. TINA No... you go... I'll... He grabs her and kisses her. She looks startled.

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BOOKS Just in case. She leans in and kisses him this time. They look at each other and then he takes off, firing his weapon. The Leprechaun stomps past her. She makes a break for the ventilation shaft. BOOKS - as he leaps out of the way of the Leprechaun's foot crashing down nearby. Books rolls and comes up on his feet, moving sharply to his left to avoid another attempt by the Leprechaun to squash him. LEPRECHAUN - thoroughly enjoying his size. He pulls the front of his pants out and looks down. LEPRECHAUN (his voice echoing) AWW-RIIIIGHT!! His LAUGHTER fills the huge cargo bay as he looks around for Books again. LEPRECHAUN (continuing) BIG... IS GOOD! LEPRECHAUN'S POV - we see Books running between two rows of containers. The Leprechaun stomps after Books. COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have four minutes until detonation. TINA - glances back in Books' direction, then touches a button on the wall and the sliding panel to the ventilation shaft opens. BOOKS - running. He smacks into a huge hand that slides into frame from nowhere. He falls back, doing a backward somersault so that he comes up on his feet. The hand slides toward him and he runs to his right. LEPRECHAUN - bringing his hand up, looking into it. No Books. He ROARS his disapproval. 107 INT. VENTILATION SHAFT. NIGHT. 107

Tina making her way down the ventilation shaft. She runs into a series of cobwebs and has to fight her way through them. She's repulsed as the webs stick to her body, getting in her hair, etc. She comes abreast of a wire screen and a spider claw rips through the screen to clutch at her feet.

96. She looks back and sees a drooling, leering Mittenhand through an adjacent screen. She SCREAMS. DR. MITTENHAND (spider voice, slurred) Don't be afraid... my dear... I'm... not going to eat you... right away... He tries to pull her toward the opening, but she fires two shots towards him and kicks herself free, leaving him with her shoes clamped in his claw. 109 INT. CARGO BAY. NIGHT. 109

Tina scrambling down the shaft. She passes another wire screen and again Mittenhand smashes through the screen with his claw and grabs her near the waist. Tina SCREAMS and fights desperately to get away, firing another couple of rounds at Mittenhand. Her pants come loose and are ripped away by Mittenhand who clamps them greedily to his mandibles before realizing there's nothing inside them. She loses the pistol in the struggle. Tina, dressed in just her panties and a t-shirt now, scrambles down the ventilation shaft. A109 VENTILATION SHAFT EXIT. OUTSIDE CARGO BAY DOORS. COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have three minutes until detonation. Tina scrambles out and runs towards the exit to the catwalks. B109 CATWALK B109 A109

Tina runs full pelt down the catwalk to the bulkhead doors. 110 INT. CARGO BAY. NIGHT. 110

Books gets to the doors again and tries to get the lock to work. We hear the Leprechaun's CRASHING FOOTSTEPS in the b.g. 111 INT. CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. 111

Tina runs into Mittenhand's office. She reacts to the spider webs everywhere. She stumbles and then rights herself. STICKS Tina!!

97.

Tina turns toward Sticks just as Mittenhand crashes out of a dark heavily cobwebbed corner of the room. She turns, startled. MITTENHAND Feed me. A cat and mouse struggle ensues all over the room as Mittenhand tries to corner Tina. STICKS Get outta here, Tina! You and Books take the shuttle and go! Tina gives him a look as she backs into the wall, trying to figure out a way to save them all. She glances up and to her left. There are two tanks built into the wall. One of them is labeled "OXYGEN," and the other is labeled "LIQUID NITROGEN." She looks at the approaching Mittenhand, grotesque and drooling. She grabs the hose connected to the Liquid Nitrogen tank. TINA Stay back!! MITTENHAND Feed me... Mittenhand keeps coming and is almost upon her when she sprays him with the liquid nitrogen. Mittenhand SHRIEKS in agony and staggers away from Tina. MITTENHAND - enveloped in a cloud of icy steam, SCREAMING in agony. Tina reacts to Mittenhand's agony, turning away, then sees Sticks' fallen rifle. After a suitable pause, she looks at him and we see that Mittenhand is frozen solid, except for his mandible. MITTENHAND (tiny, squeaky voice) Help meeeee... helllp meeee... Tina reacts with horror and revulsion to this pathetic plea and slowly brings the rifle up. TINA (softly) I'm sorry...

98.

She pulls the trigger and the bullet from her pistol shatters Mittenhand into a thousand glassy fragments. Tina reacts and slumps back, exhausted. 112 INT. CARGO BAY. NIGHT. Books gets the lock to work and yells for Sticks. BOOKS STICKS!! TINA!! 113 INT. CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. 113 112

Tina helping Sticks who is down off the ceiling now as Tina tries to rip the webbing off of him. BOOKS (O.S.) Sticks! Tina! TINA (yelling into the computer console) What is it, Books?! BOOKS (O.S.) Open the outer doors to the cargo bay! TINA Books... are you sure?! 114 INT. CARGO BAY #2. NIGHT. Books opening the doors to the corridor. BOOKS Yeah, I'm sure!! Do it now!! NOW! LEPRECHAUN - stomping toward Books. 115 INT. CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. Tina searching the control panel for the right button. STICKS There! On the left! Tina finds the button and punches it. 116 INT. CARGO BAY #2. NIGHT. 116 115 114

We hear a WARNING BUZZER as the outer doors to the cargo bay start to open.

99.

COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have two minutes until detonation. LEPRECHAUN - turning to look behind him. LEPRECHAUN'S POV - we see cargo being sucked out into space as the doors slide open, showing us the stars. The Leprechaun realizes he's doomed unless he can get out of the cargo bay. He turns and runs for the exit. 117 BOOKS - going out the doors and then trying to pull them closed behind him. The Leprechaun gets there and STICKS a finger between the doors, jamming them open. LEPRECHAUN NOOOOOO!!!! The Leprechaun is sucked backward, his finger pulled free of the doors. Books pushes them shut and they latch closed. 118 LEPRECHAUN 118 117

- being sucked toward the open outer doors. He tries to grab onto anything that will stop him, but everything is being sucked out with him. We see the Princess stuck to the bottom of his shoe. He SCREAMS in terror. 119 EXT. OUTER SPACE. NIGHT. 119

We see the Leprechaun being sucked out into space, leaving the Behemoth behind. As he is propelled toward US, we see his body swelling to enormous size until he explodes into huge pieces. 120 INT. CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. Sticks and Tina staring at the monitor. STICKS Did Books make it?? TINA I don't know... the monitor went dead... Tina, devastated at the thought of losing Books, looks over at Sticks. 120

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COMPUTER VOICE Attention... you have one minute until detonation. Tina turns to the keyboard, looks at the monitor. We see the words, "PASSWORD TO NEUTRALIZE AUTO-DESTRUCT?" TINA Uh... password... uh... Mittenhand... (punches it in, no good) ...spider... (punches it in, no good) ...uh... scientist... 121 CORRIDOR - Books sprinting down the corridor. COMPUTER VOICE You have thirty seconds until detonation. 122 INT. CONTROL ROOM. NIGHT. 122 121

Tina punching different code words into the computer, none of them working. She slams her hand down on the keyboard. TINA I don't know!! I don't know!! I can't think! STICKS Oh, man... Books bursts in through the doors. They turn to look at him. He sees the shattered chunks of Mittenhand and reacts as he hurries over to the computer. TINA It's no use! Nothing works! COMPUTER VOICE You have fifteen seconds until detonation. TINA Nothing works!! I can't do it! Books hurries over to the computer. COMPUTER VOICE Ten seconds until detonation.

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BOOKS (calm, cool) Awright... TINA Nothing works!! COMPUTER VOICE Nine seconds... Books pulls her to him and kisses her. She blinks up at him. COMPUTER VOICE ...eight... BOOKS Think. COMPUTER VOICE ...seven... TINA (suddenly calm) He was an ego maniac... he thought of himself as a genius... COMPUTER VOICE (as Tina punches in "genius") ...six... TINA (genius is no good) ...no... uh... uh... COMPUTER VOICE ...five... TINA ...a brilliant scientist... uh... COMPUTER VOICE ...four... BOOKS When we first saw him... COMPUTER VOICE ...three... TINA You mean...

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COMPUTER VOICE ...two... BOOKS What'd he say... COMPUTER VOICE ...one... TINA I don't... BOOKS Wizard!! Tina's fingers fly over the keys. COMPUTER VOICE ...deton... Everybody stands there frozen, waiting for the computer to finish their death sentence. Silence. They look at the monitor. The word "WIZARD" blinks on and off on the computer monitor. And then... "PASSWORD ENTERED. AUTO-DESTRUCT NEUTRALIZED." A beat and then the three of them let out a YELL of triumph. They grab each other in an embrace. TINA (looks up at him) That was close. BOOKS Had it all the way. Books leans in and kisses her again. Something floats by the big port-hole that looks out into space. Sticks walks into frame as Books and Tina part from their kiss. STICKS Looks like somebody went all to pieces out there. TINA Completely fell apart, didn't he? They all watch as the Leprechaun's giant hand floats into view. It revolves slowly, turning over as the middle finger unfolds, flipping them off.

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BOOKS Same to you, pal. END.