Managing Conflict

with Emotional
Intelligence
Nahla Kor, Owner
Kor Capabilities Consulting
Objectives
Explore reasons for conflict
Deal with conflict constructively through
self-awareness and managing emotions-
two foundational emotional intelligence
characteristics
Recognize our emotional triggers
Discuss conflict resolution strategies
What is Emotional Intelligence?
It is the capacity for recognizing our own
feelings and those of others, for
motivating ourselves and managing
emotions well in ourselves and in
relationships.

Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, 1998
Causes of Conflict
At tables discuss what causes conflict
Generate list
Large group debrief
Time: 5 minutes
Causes of Conflict
Suggested Responses:
Personal needs and expectations are not
being met
People may feel taken advantage of
Dont feel heard
Power imbalance-hierarchy, financial, emotional,
physical
People experience personal loss such as status,
job, freedom, control

Recognizing our Triggers
How we choose to respond to conflict will
either escalate or de-escalate the situation
Recognizing our own triggers gives us the
opportunity to shift our response to diffuse
conflict
Our emotional triggers say more about us
than they do about the other person

Managing Emotion
When we are triggered it is important to use
effective coping strategies to regain our self-
control
Suggested Strategies
Step away and come back when both are calm
Call behavior that is not working for you
Have some prepared responses
Change the dance-recognize and shift destructive
patterns of behavior by changing your step
In changing ourselves, we invariably change others
Communication Skills for Managing
Conflict
To Diffuse Conflict:
Listen
Empathize-validate the others experience
Ask clarifying questions
Use I language
Declare your own wants, needs and
expectations by making requests and not
demands

Conflict Scenario
Ask for 2 volunteers
Each person reads his/her part of the
script
First script-escalation of conflict
Second script-de-escalation of conflict
Ask the audience for their
observations/feedback
Benefits of High EI
The benefits of managing conflict with high EI
are numerous. According to Reuven BarOn high
EI:
Allows people to successfully cope with
environmental and interpersonal demands and
pressures
This in turn improves workplace productivity,
retention and employee satisfaction
Conclusion
Recognizing the causes of conflict and our
emotional triggers offers us insight into
why we respond the way we do
This level of self-awareness gives us the
opportunity to anticipate and manage
emotions in order to de-escalate conflict
and avoid losing control
Thank You!!



Nahla Kor
nahla@korcapabilities.ca
www.korcapabilities.ca
519-886-2606