Etiquette and Social Graces Guide

ETIQUETTE AND SOCIAL GRACES
Presented by :
Ambassador Fortunato D. Oblena

(Retired)
WHAT IS ETIQUETTE?
The forms required
by good breeding
or prescribed by
authority to be
observed in social
or official life.
Observance of the
priorities of ranks
and occasion.
WHAT IS SOCIAL GRACE?

Modes of behavior
based on good taste
and regard for ones
feeling and those of
others
The forms of
courtesies / niceties
observed in social
gatherings and
meetings of people.
NAMES
1. Which Name To Use
Use the conservative approach : Title + last
name
Variations in different countries:
Philippines and Western Countries first
name, middle name, last name
Ex. Juan Villa Cruz
Chinese last name, first name
Ex. Yao Ming
NAMES
Variations in different countries:
Indian name + s / o or d /o
Ex. Rajiv, Son of Indira
Priyanka, Daughter of
Sonia
Malaysian name + bint or binte
Ex. Ahmad bint Abdullah
Fatima binte Maryam
NAMES
In Western countries, and in informal
settings, first names are commonly used
upon first introductions.
In formal settings, wait for the other person
to invite you to use some familiar terms.
If someone is introduced to you as Dr. Jose
Cruz repeat or use that name until invited to
use his first name Jose
NAMES
Address a person as Mr. or Ms. or Mrs.
until asked to address them without titles.
Chinese men are informally addressed by
their surnames like Yan without the prefix
name Mr.
Continue to address him as Mr. Yan until
you are asked to use only Yan
NAMES
In some Muslim
countries, only one
name is used
Examples:
Ahmad (man)
Farida (woman)
NAMES
2.Forgetting Names
Not a sin but bad if no attempts to get it
right are made
If you forget the name of the person you
are speaking to suggest to:
"Please repeat your name for me so I
get it right."
Simply apologize by saying:
I am sorry. I am having a blank
moment.
NAMES
2. Forgetting Names
At that point, the other person should give
his / her name.
If he does not give his / her name, you can
say:
Before I excuse myself, please tell me
your name again.
If all attempts fail, accept weakness.
NAMES
2. Forgetting Names
Either way, the more forthright you are, the
more quickly the awkward moment will
pass.
Do not ask the other person to guess your
name.
FORGETTING NAMES
3.Other Alternatives If Memory Fails You
There are other tactful ways of saving
yourself without the other person knowing
that at the moment you have no idea what
he/she is called.
If you encounter someone who greets you
warmly but whose name or face you cant
recall, stall.
Return the person's greetings
NAMES
Then let him/her do the talking, listening
attentively and at the same time trying to
remember his/her name.
Sometimes the conversation will give you
a clue as to the person's identity.
In the meanwhile, try to appear as if you
remember him/her as well.
You can ask for a calling card or simply
ask "What do they call you for short?" if
the occasion permits.
NAMES
If you cannot recall the persons name and
the conversation continues longer than you
expected, sometimes it is better to ask the
person apologetically and politely to remind
you of his name rather than calling him by
a name that you are not sure is his.
NAMES
When you greet people you have not seen
in a long time or those you dont usually
encounter, identify yourself immediately.
Example:
How are you Mr. Cruz? Im David
Singson, we attended a conference
together a couple of months ago."
"I'm Ric Suarez, Mrs. Santos. We go to
the same gym."
NAMES
4. Difficult Names
Take extra care in pronouncing someone's
name if it is uncommon or difficult to
pronounce.
To ask that person to check your
pronunciation of his/her name or to inquire
about the correct way of saying it is
appropriate and a compliment to that
person.
NAMES
4. Difficult Names
Never make fun of another persons name
or ask how he or she ever came to be
called that way. This is rude and
inconsiderate.
Be sensitive to one who is trying to
pronounce a difficult name. Inform him/her
of the proper way to say your name.
NAMES
4. Difficult Names
If someone mispronounce your name,
correct the other person immediately and
gently.
To make light of the situation so as not to
embarrass the other, you can tell some
anecdotes on the difficulty people have
had with your name.
NAMES
5. Mispronouncing Names / Mistaking Titles
The person being introduced may correct you.
Simply apologize and repeat the correct title or
pronunciation.
If you know in advance you are unsure of your
companions title or how to pronounce it, ask for
help.
Example:
I am very sorry, but I dont think I know the
correct way to say your name.
NAMES
5. Mispronouncing Names / Mistaking
Titles
Once the correction is made, quickly move
on and not dwell on the mistake.
Make sure you remember the name at the
next occasion.
NAMES
6. Other Tips in Remembering Names
Repeat once, twice, thrice.
Associate it with something familiar
Example : Angelo Angel
Candelario Candle
Sagrado Sacred
Break down name into syllables.
Valderama Val de ra ma
INTRODUCTIONS
First and basic step to relationship
Makes an impression
Positive impression is basis to decide to go
on and form deeper relationship
In business situation, introduction and first
impression make ensure relationship
smooth.
Correcting bad impression is harder than
making effort to excuse positive one.
INTRODUCTIONS
1. BASIC FORMULA
Be guided by sex, age
and rank.
Thus, Introduce a
man to a woman
A younger person to
an older woman
INTRODUCTIONS
1. BASIC FORMULA
A lower ranking person
to a higher-ranking
person
Example:
"Alice may I introduce
Ric Cortazar
Then say to the man:
"Ric I would like you to
meet Alice Cruz."
INTRODUCTIONS
1. BASIC FORMULA
However, if Ric is a
person occupying a high
rank (say President of a
company) than Alice, the
position of priority is
reversed.
Example:
"Mr. Cortazar, may I present
Alice Cruz".
"Alice, this is Mr. Cortazar,
President of the company"
INTRODUCTIONS
1. BASIC FORMULA
Should a person join a
group, it is easier to
say:
Example:
" I would like you all to
meet Gerry Alonzo
"Gerry meet Diane Santos,
Patricia Noble,and
Nena Ortiz"
INTRODUCTIONS
1. BASIC FORMULA
Introduce the newcomer first to the group
and then the group, usually at random,
without observing priorities, if all are more
or less of equal ranking.
Rulers of countries, church dignitaries and
chiefs of delegations representing a
country are always given the higher priority
and people are introduced to them.
INTRODUCTIONS
1. BASIC FORMULA
However, should the
group include people
of rank, it is best to
introduce the
newcomer,to the people of higher
rank.
Example:
Your Excellency, Mr. Ambassador
this is Gerry Alonzo."
INTRODUCTIONS
2. WHETHER YOU ARE A
MAN OR WOMAN
THE RULES OF
INTRODUCTION ARE:
A. STAND WHEN
INTRODUCED
Remaining seated is
impolite as it conveys
disinterest in the person
being introduced.
INTRODUCTIONS
2. WHETHER YOU ARE A MAN OR
WOMAN THE RULES OF
INTRODUCTION ARE:
A. STAND WHEN INTRODUCED
Old rule about women remaining seated
is pass.
In business situation both men and
women should stand upon introduction.
INTRODUCTIONS
WOMAN THE RULES OF
INTRODUCTION ARE:
B. SHAKE HANDS WITH FIRM

GRIPS
Limp handshake is unpleasant
and can convey insincerity
Crushing handshake is painful
and can convey unwelcome
aggressiveness.
INTRODUCTIONS
WOMAN THE RULES OF
INTRODUCTION ARE:
C. MAKE EYE CONTACT

Looking someone in
the eye underscore interest
in the other person
Avoiding eye contact may mean
you are only going through the
motion, not really interested.
INTRODUCTIONS
2. WHETHER YOU ARE A MAN OR WOMAN
THE RULES OF INTRODUCTION ARE:
C. MAKE EYE CONTACT

Do not look over someones shoulder or
scan the room during introduction.
Stop whatever you are
doing and pay attention
to the introduction.
INTRODUCTIONS
2. WHETHER YOU ARE A MAN OR WOMAN
THE RULES OF INTRODUCTION ARE:
D. SMILE
Warm sincere smile breaks
the ice.
E. REPEAT THEIR NAMES OR TITLES

This will keep you remember the
persons name and add a pleasant
touch.
INTRODUCTIONS
3. OTHER RULES ON INTRODUCTION
a. A man should not address a woman by her

Christian name or nickname unless she
indicates that she wishes him to do so.
b. Single women are introduced to married
women and the younger one is introduced
to the older one.
c. A man stands when introduced to a
woman, a clergy, an official or to an older
man. The exception to this rule is illness
and extreme age.
INTRODUCTIONS
d. When someone is with you, introduce
him/her to a group you already know.
e. It is awkward for your companion to just
remain standing while you continue the
conversation.
f. To give importance to the person being
introduced.
Make sure everyone is paying attention before
starting the introduction.
Repeat both names clearly.
INTRODUCTIONS
f. To give importance to the person being introduced.
Say something about the person being

introduced to help others understand your
relationship.
Example:
This is Luis my friend who is here on vacation.
Or
Cesar is my classmate.
INTRODUCTIONS
When there is age difference, it is polite to

introduce the youngest person to the older
person.
Example:
Dad, this is Cesar my classmate in school.
Or
Cesar, this is my father Mr. Silva.
INTRODUCTIONS
f. To give importance to the person being
introduced.
In formal or business setting use the title of

the person being introduced.
Example:
This is Dr. David Cruz
Or
This is Armand Flores, Head of the Department
of Personnel in our company.
INTRODUCTIONS
In large groups keep introduction simple

There is no need to introduce every single person.
Simply introduce the person to the group.
Example:
My friends, Id like you all to meet David my
colleague.
Please introduce your selves to him when you get
the chance.
INTRODUCTIONS
After introduction be sure that the

conversation does not end afterwards.
Think of something of interest or common to
the group so that conversation goes on.
Example:
Cesar and I were talking about our trip to
Pangasinan.
Dr. Cruz, You and Cesar are both mountain
climbers, arent you?
MORE ON INTRODUCTION
There are simple rules to know and follow on
whether:
a. You are doing the introduction.
b. You are being introduced
c. You are introducing yourself
A. WHEN YOU ARE DOING THE

INTRODUCTION
Speak clear and distinctly
Pronounce the names carefully and
correctly
Look at the persons you are introducing
Name the person you are honoring first .

INTRODUCTION
You introduce people to them.

Example:
"Secretary Cruz, this is Mr. Garcia"

"Father Villa, this is Mr. Santos"
When introducing a friend or a peer to your boss
or a senior ranking person
(Ms. Josie Cruz is the boss and Carlos Dizon is
your friend)
"Ms. Cruz, this is Carlos Dizon"

INTRODUCTION
Sometimes, you may provide descriptions,
about the persons you are introducing to
each other.
You may mention who they are or what they
do.
Avoid pinning labels on both people unless
each is distinguished in his/her own field
and might not be familiar with each other.

INTRODUCTION
Observe professional titles, such as Doctor or
Attorney, when introducing people of unequal
rank of ages.
Other titles such as Governor, Ambassador or
Congressman are retained even though the
person's term of office may have already ended.
When introducing your client to a group, treat
him/her, as you would do any authority. Say
his/her name first.
A. WHEN YOU ARE DOING THE INTRODUCTION

Start with the person of authority or importance such as your boss, a senior executive,
a
distinguished guest, a high-ranking dignitary,
a
client, an older individual or a clergyman.
Example:
"Mr. Lozano may I present to you members of our staff
Introducing a new colleague to a group reverses this
order.
Example:
Ladies and gentlemen, meet our new colleague, Mrs.
Taada"
b) WHEN YOU ARE BEING

INTRODUCED
Smile
Look directly at the person you are meeting.
Give him or her your undivided attention.
Should a man be seated, he must rise at
once and at all times when he is introduced
to someone else.

INTRODUCED
He must shake hands with other men and
bow slightly to women unless they offer to

shake his hand.
This applies to women executives as well.

INTRODUCED
Shake hands with a person you are
meeting for the first time, regardless of
your or the other person's gender.

INTRODUCED
When a man and woman are being
introduced to each other, the woman should
extend her hand first.
c) WHEN YOU ARE INTRODUCING

YOURSELF
There is nothing improper about introducing
yourself to others, but do it politely and
properly
State both your first and last names.
The full name should be used,
Example:
"Irene Garcia" not "Mrs. Irene Garcia"
"Delfin Cruz" not Mr. Delfin Cruz
WHEN YOU ARE INTRODUCING YOURSELF

In introducing yourself, avoid using "Mr.",
"Mrs." or any other title.
Avoid giving yourself a title or honorific.
Do not use the title DOCTOR; even you have
a doctorate degree (PhD)
This is usually appropriate only for Doctors of
medicine.
d) WHEN TO JOIN A GROUP

Illustration
Closed Circle:
Do not move in.
Silence: your cue to move on
People standing very close to each

other.
Do not move in to join group.

Illustration
Open Circle:
People are usually standing apart
from each other
Move in without hesitation

Arrow indicates where you can stand and
greet someone you know in the circle.
If you dont know anyone, do not hesitate to
introduce yourself.
E. SHAKING HANDS
IMPORTANCE OF HANDSHAKE
Besides being essential in introduction,
shaking hands has a role in any
professional or social situation.
It keeps you literally in
touch with others.
Handshake says
something about you
and your personality.
Shake hands when:
You begin a meeting with small group of persons
You are out of the office and you bump into
someone you know.
You say goodbye.
The meeting adjourns
On any occasion when another person offers to
shake hands.
Shake hands when:
You say goodbye.
The meeting adjourns
On any occasion
when
another
person offers
to shake
hands.
Never ignore an offer to shake someone
else's hands. It is disrespectful of you and
embarrassing for that person not to
acknowledge the gesture.
Handshake should be firm but not clutching
on to the other hand too
tightly.
Make the handshake lasts no longer than 3-4
seconds
AVOID HANDSHAKE THAT :

Feels you are holding on to a lifeless object
-Limp and cold.
The too quick, reluctant gesture, which
seems that all you are offering are your
fingertips, as if you fear catching or passing
on an infectious disease.
The over-eager, up and down pumping,
interminable clasp.
63
THE RULES IN HANDSHAKING

The hand must be extended first by the
person of authority
A woman extends her hand to a man

A dignitary of the church
extends his hand
to a woman

An elder woman extends her hand first to a
younger woman
A hand that is
extended
must never
be refused.

Rejection is cruel and is against all rules of
etiquette.
Gentlemen must always stand when being
introduced regardless of rank, age, or status.
A lady stands only if the man she is being
introduced to is the Head of State or
Head of the Church.
If a lady wishes to show respect to an elderly
person, a priest or a higher- ranking official
she stands when being introduced to them.

Hold your drinks with your left hand. The
right hand should be free to shake hands
especially since cocktails are served cold,
your hands gets the moisture from the glass
and you dont have time to transfer the drink
to the left hand.
If your hands are both full, with a drink in one
hand, and an appetizer in the other and a
person extends his hand to you, just calmly
say: "It is so nice to meet you. Forgive me
but my hands are full" do not panic and lost
control.
f) CARDS
CALLING CARD
A calling card contains only the name and
profession of the holder.
Ricardo S. Cruz
Minister
BUSSINESS CARD
A business card contains the name,
profession of the holder and other
information such as address and contact
number of the holder.
CARDS
Other advice on cards:
Should be printed
Use standard sized white stationary (not
colored, no border or decorated, not
scented)
Without photograph of holder
All information on the card should be on
the front side.
Card serves many purposes

Aside from giving a new acquaintance a
ready reference or guide in pronouncing
your name, they are utilized in informal
greetings or conveying informal messages
by simply writing in pencil on the left hand
corner of the card, accepted French
abbreviations, such as:

p.r.- pour remercier - to express thanks or
appreciation
p.p.-pour presenter- to introduce or
present somebody
p.c.-pour consoler - to convey sympathies
or condolence
p.f. - pour feliciter - to congratulate or
felicitate

p.p.c. - pour prendre conge - to take leave or
say adieu
It is not advisable to present your card
immediately upon being introduced or when
entering an office.
One should wait for the proper occasion.
A remark like this:
What sort of business are you in?
I hear you are an investment broker, how do
I reach you?

Could be the right moment to present a card.
Do not shove it at the recipient; rather
accompany it with a phrase like this;
May I give you my card in case I can be of help
to you?
Do not shove it at the recipient; rather

accompany it with a phrase like this;
May I give you my card in case I can be
of help to you?

When someone offers; you a card, take it
with your right hand.
Glance at it put it in your pocket or
handbag after a little while.
Dont throw the card when the giver is
within sight, as this will offend him.
GIVING A CARD TO A JAPANESE

OR
CHINESE
1. Use
both hands using thumb and forefinger.
Name on the card faces the receiver. Bow
slightly as you hand the card to him.
2. On receiving card bow in acceptance. Use
both hands using thumb and forefinger to
receive card.
3. Look at the card read it to show appreciation.
Do not put card away immediately. Wait for a
little while before putting card in your pocket
or until giver has left.
OFFERING YOUR CALLING CARD TO A

JAPANESE OR A CHINESE CLIENT OR
ACQUAINTANCES
USE BOTH HANDS, USING

THUMB AND
BE SURE THAT THE NAME

IN THE CARD IS FACING
THE CLIENT AND NOT TO
YOU.
BOW SLIGHTLY AS YOU

HAND THE CARD TO HIM.
WHEN
RECEIVING
HIS CALLING
CARD, BOW
IN
ACCEPTANCE
.
USE BOTH
HANDS,
USING THE
THUMB AND
FORE
LOOK AT THE CARD, AND DO

NOT PUT IT AWAY UNTIL THE
CLIENT HAS LEFT YOU.
GREETINGS
A greeting is a
short
acknowledgement
of the presence of
and person.
Everybody
welcomes a warm
and sincere
greeting anytime.
GREETINGS
Typical greetings are:
Goodmorning/afternoon/evening
Hi, how are you
How are you doing?
Have a good day
A greeting may end
as just that or it
may be the opening of a
conversation.
CONVERSATION
An exchange of
ideas between two
or more people.
Requires skills
such as listening,
catching the drift,
responding and
flowing in the
same direction.
CONVERSATION
A way to get to know another person
better.
Cultivates friendship and meaningful
relationship.
A good conversationalist should:

a) Maintain eye contact with people we
are talking with.
b) Listen to what is being said
c) Be attentive to the
other person.
d) Listen to the
undertones of the
conversation.
A good conversationalist
should:
e) Picks up subtle cues of body language.
f) Grasp a richer understanding of what is
being communicated.
g) Ask appropriate question to express
interest to continue conversation.
h) Respond with more than just one word
answer like yes or no.
should:
i) Be aware of your reactions and facial

expression. Creating an obvious gap
between what you are saying and
expressing will lead to awkward situation.
should:
j) When making light conversation and when with
people we dont know well, avoid the following
subject:
Private or confidential information
Private or confidential information
Dirty or off color jokes
Ethnic jokes
Question about money or sex
Troubles such as illness, job loss,
deaths.
divorce and
should:
k) Avoid the following:
Talking long about your self and your

interests, especially when not asked.
Scanning the crowd while one is talking
to you. This maybe interrupted or
disrespect or lack of interest.
Interrupting while a group is clearly
engaged in a serious conversation.
should:
k) Avoid the following:
Paying too much attention to one person
at the expense of others in the group
Regardless of your true interest, make
an effort to give attention TO all present
in the conversation.
Gushing or overly enthusiastic attention
which maybe embarrassing for those on
the receiving end.
should:
l) Being curious about others
Ask questions that will encourage the
other person to keep talking and reveal
more about himself or herself.
Identify common ground and interests
that are the building blocks of lasting
relationship.
Avoid going on endlessly about your self.
should:
l) Being curious about others
The quickest way to bore and test the
patience of your counterpart is to
consistently steer the conversation
toward yourself, your opinion, your
activities, and your interest.
The give and take that makes the art of
conversation is really about exchanging
a sense of curiosity between the parties.
Two types of questions:
a) Common questions about general Subjects.

These are the general initial questions that
begin a new conversation to know someone
better or without being too personal.
Examples of topics for small talks:
Hobbies, sports and other interests
Family, Music,
Common Friends, Work
Some ways to start a conversation with

strangers or acquaintances after an
introduction:
Talk about something directly observed
such as outfit.
EXAMPLE:
I love your shoes. Are they comfortable?
I noticed you are wearing jersey. Are you
a fan of the team?
Some ways to start a conversation with strangers

or acquaintances after an introduction:
Talk about common situation.
EXAMPLE:
How did you hear about the play we are about to
see?
I had awful time getting here because of the
weather.
Did you have any problem?
Some ways to start a conversation with

strangers or acquaintances after an
introduction:
Ask and then talk about possible common
interest.
EXAMPLE:
Do you know anything about computers?
I was thinking of buying this brand of computer.
What do you think?
I love Chinese food. Do you know any
restaurant I should try?

b) Meaningful questions about more
personal, sensitive subjects.
After knowing each other and you want
to move on more substantial questions,
touch on deeper subjects.

b) Meaningful questions about more
personal, sensitive subjects.
These questions require more thoughtfulness
and reveal more intimate side such as:
Goals
Beliefs
Fears
Health
Dreams and aspiration
should:
n) Finally
Friendship takes time to develop.
Do not expect deep conversation with
people you do not know well.
Meaningful conversation that shares life
experiences and problems are not
normally discussed with acquaintances.
should:
n) Finally
When we have achieved a level of
comfort to express yourself to another
without fear of judgment, then you have
fully achieved true friendship.
GRACEFUL EXIT
Do not just walk away from the group or a

person or abruptly say,
Goodbye out of the blue.
But do not make a big production of
leaving or it may interrupt the
conversation.
A statement like.
EXAMPLE:
Excuse me for a moment.
GRACEFUL EXIT
When leaving, some closing pleasantly will
be appreciated.
EXAMPLE:
I have to go but it was very nice to meet you
Or
I wish I had more time to continue visiting
but I, do hope we can meet again soon.
Social Graces At the

work place
The interview
Start the process of
employment by
sending resume to
companies
A good resume
give the first
impression of
ourselves to
employers
Things to remember in
resume Writing
Address letter to person in charge not Sir
or Dear Madam.
Check your spelling
Present resume
stationary.
on
plain,
high
quality
Do not exaggerate resume- its a form of lying

Seek permission from the person before
listing him/her as reference.
resume Writing
Be five minutes early for an interview
Refrain from smoking before interview
Wear classic business attire at interview
Behave cordially and pleasantly at the
interview
Be prepared for tough and thought
provoking questions.
resume Writing
They usually ask about
your strongest and
weaknesses
For strengths, the
interviewer wants to
know what you can
add to the team:
leadership, qualities,
organization skills, etc.
resume Writing
For weaknesses, dont talk literally about
weaknesses but re-phrase your responses in
terms of areas you would like to learn more or
improve or gain more experience: becoming a
better presenter, improve negotiation skills,
become a better manager, etc.
Do not ask too quickly about compensation.
Ask questions about real opportunities for
learning and growth- not about benefits.
resume Writing
Do your homework.
Find out what the company is projecting.

Be enthusiastic and upbeat.
Interviewers are
confident people.
looking
for
energetic,
A week after the interview, check status of

your application.
Dont hound for an answer.
General guidance for the

workplace
In business assume all associates prefer to
be addressed formally
Using first name is done only among peers.
Employers call subordinates by first names.
Take work seriously.
Come on time and understand your position
in the company whether as a messenger,
receptionist, assistant or manager.

workplace
Respect workplace of others.
Keep you desk, cubicle / room neat and clean.

Take care in the use of office property.
Snooping is a violation of others personal
space.
Do not read mail, office correspondence or
inter-office memos that are not addressed to
you.

workplace
Do not listen to conversation of others.
Keep voice level low so as not to disturb others

Come to office properly dressed and neatly
groomed.
Be as productive and creative as possible during
office hours.
Minimize personal calls and personal business
during office hours to only urgent ones.
Keep personal e-mails to a minimum
Guidelines of a successful business

meeting
Be prompt
Rank is important.
Introduce people of junior rank to persons of
senior rank according to business protocol.

meeting
Know when to buss.
Buss only the cheeks of people you have

standing relationship.
In Asia, a handshake is more appropriate .

meeting
Be prepared.
Study the agenda

Be attentive.

meeting
Express ideas thoroughly

and briefly.
Do not interrupt others or

hold side conversation with
seatmates during meetings.
Be open to different points
of view.
Do not simply press home
opinion.
Guidelines of a successful
business meeting
The meeting is for exchange of ideas and
information.
Pay attention to emotional cues such as
body language, facial expressions and tone
of voice.
Certain issues are better resolved on oneon-one and in private
Do not openly argue.
Guidelines of a successful
business meeting
In dealing with problems or difficulties, do
not seek to point fingers or find blame.
Work to solve problems rather than be
good at finding fault.
Handling titles, honorifics and

superiors
Respect office protocol of calling person by
his/her first name and addressing by their
title.
Wait until invited by others to call them by
first names.
If your superior is a close friend with whom
you are on first name basis, address him
formally in front of other people as
Mr._____, unless instructed otherwise.

superiors
Every worker-assistants, clerks, messengers
and low-level employees deserve the same
respect as directors and other officers of the
company.
Whatever your rank, never bark orders or make
unreasonable demands like asking assistants
to get your coffee unless it is offered.
A leader is one who knows to get things done,
without antagonizing anybody.

superiors
When you want something done, request
with the welfare of the person in mind.
EXAMPLE:
Instead of saying:
Susan I want this done,
say instead
Do you think you can fit this in your
schedule?

superiors
When you want something done, request
with the welfare of the person in mind.
EXAMPLE:
Instead of saying:
Susan I want this done,say instead
Do you think you can fit this in your
schedule?
thereby acknowledging that Susan has a
schedule and that she maybe busy too.

superiors
You may request help and reciprocally, offer to
help.
A sincere Thank you will always be
appreciated.
Written communication/ business

letter.
Written on good quality paper with
matching envelopes.
Only the first page must contain the
corporate letterhead, succeeding pages
must be blank sheets.
The tone of the letter must be formal and
business like.
Written communication/ business

letter.
Letters maybe hand-delivered, mailed, emailed or faxed.
The format regardless of means of deliverycontain the salutation, date, body / and
closing.
In a business letter, state your point clearly
written in the first paragraph.
Do not wait until the succeeding paragraphs
to get down to business
Written communication/
business letter.
People reading your letter will want to know the
issue or topic straight away.
Be brief and clear.
Arranging thoughts in bullet or numbered form
is effective for memos for office consumption.
The written word can be read and passed or
forwarded from person to person.
Take care to check for content, form and
spelling.
Oral communication via the

Telephone
Check the quality and tone of voice.
A soothing voice is:
Soft vs. loud
Low vs. high
Modulated vs. shrill
Deliberate vs. scatter brained
Oral communication via the

Telephone
Know what you want to say.
It helps to write down key points before

you get on the telephone
Business telephone etiquette

When answering the phone state the
company name followed by a greeting:
Ricardo Cruz, good morning.
If answering the direct line of your
superior, state the name of the superior
followed by a greeting:
Office of the President Jose Marzan,
good afternoon.

If answering your direct line, say a greeting
followed by your name:
Hello, John speaking
Keep conversation as brief as possible and
avoid personal calls
Be courteous at all times, especially when
dealing with complaints or high-strung callers.
When ending the conversation say
Thank you

When calling someone you know is busy,
the proper way to ask
Is it alright to talk to you?
If the response is negative you can say:
Okay, Ill e-mail you instead.
If it is your first time to speak with a client
on the phone, dont say :
It was nice meeting you Better say It was
a pleasure speaking with you.

Keep calls to the point, to the purpose of
the call.
Show consideration for the callers time.
If you want to end an endless call say
I am being called to office meeting right
now.
Can you me back later?
without offending the caller.
STANDARD TELEPHONE
ETIQUTETTE
TELEPHONE
Answer a telephone call promptly,
Take the calls of your officemates if they
are not present.
Be courteous and friendly, and speak
clearly.
Have a paper and pencil ready for taking
messages.
STANDARD TELEPHONE ETIQUTETTE

TELEPHONE
If you have to put a caller on hold, tell him
why and thank him afterwards for waiting.
If the interruption will take a while, offer to
call back.
Do call back.
Give your caller your undivided attention
End the call with a thank you or goodbye.
Let the caller hang up first.

CELLULAR PHONES and PAGERS
Use the silent mode of your phone or
pager when in a meeting, a concert, a
cinema, a lecture, program, presentation
or a religious service.
If you can help it, avoid using your phone
in the middle of a meeting, cocktails or
dinner.

CELLULAR PHONES and PAGERS
Do not point the antenna of your phone at
another person.
In a conversation, avoid reading the
message on your phone or pager in midsentence.
How to be a good Subordinate

Respect position
If you cannot respect the person for

whatever reason, respect the position.
You may have problems with another
person because of gender or age, or
personality differences, but respecting
the position of the person will keep you
cope with your biases, know the person
better and maybe change your initial
opinion or impression.

Respect the rules
Do not take criticism or corrections of
your work personally.
Instead learn
Put emotions aside and be objective
about the comments about your work.
It is the responsibility of your superiors to
correct your wrongs.

Ask questions
Do not pretend to understand instructions
or procedure if they are unclear to you.
Asking questions will show your superior
you are thinking.
Avoid asking the same question over and
over again. Doing so will show that you
are not attentive.

Know your place but do not grooved.
Dont dish out compliments and always
agreeable.
This makes the superior feel that you be
have no real talent and resort to groveling
just to stay on the job.
At same time, do not be too aggressive.

Disagree agreeably
A superior appreciates a subordinate who
has his/her own mind.
Make suggestions without undermining or
insulting existing practice.
EXAMPLE:
I agree this was very effective.
But I would like to recommend this
alternative since conditions may have
changed.

Disagree agreeably
Address your superiors appropriately.
Use their formal names (Mr. or
Ms.______) unless otherwise instructed.
How to be a good superior

Respect subordinates
Be courteous at all time
Do not berate subordinates in front of
others, raise your voice, insult or use
cuss words.
Instead, call them into your office and
talk to them reasonably.
Explain why you are disappointed and
how this can be avoided in the future.

Respect subordinates
Courtesies ensure both respect
enthusiasm of subordinates.
and
Be specific when giving instructions

This will avoid misunderstanding about
what you wanted done and how you
wanted it done.
Be specific when correcting works of
subordinates to give them the opportunity
to learn from you,

Be specific when giving instructions
- Do not say:
EXAMPLE:
Your work was terrible.
Without explaining why.
Say instead
Your work is not up to par
because..

Hone your listening and perception skills.
A good manager understands what is said
and what is not being said.
Do not listen only to words, watch body
language.
Facial expressions convey a lot of
meaning.

Recognize and appreciate the
uniqueness and individuality of each
subordinate.
Know the strengths and weakness of each
person.
Know what your group lacks will help you
in hiring the correct people to strengthen
the whole department.

Be open to suggestions
A good manager recognizes the fact that
he/she could not possibly have all the
answers.
Solicit advice wherever necessary.
Be open to discussions and suggestion.

Give credit when credit is due
Know how to acknowledge and credit a
person.
Do not own the idea that did not originate
from you.
A person who does not give credit where it
is due will not get cooperation from others.

Do not be threatened by brighter or
more talented subordinates.
Instead nurture and treasure them as they
can be assets to your company.
When this person gets promoted, you will
be credited for his success.

Accept ultimate responsibility
As leader, the bucks stop with you
Dont blame others if a job does not go as
planned.
As leader, if you make a mistake, accept
the responsibility.
This will earn you the respect of your staff.

Be accessible
Be available to the people in the company
in terms of issues, concerns, ideas and
initiatives.
A distant manager will not get the best of
his people.

Do not play with office facilities
Avoid pitting one person or one
department against another.
Competition is healthy but should be open
and honest, not sly and underhanded.
Avoid the policy of divide and conquer.

Be objective and do not play priorities
Some subordinates maybe closer to you
more than others.
Do not allow this to cloud your objectivity
when judging their work
Objectivity will give subordinates a sense
of security since they know you are fair to
them.

Bad news is best delivered straight and
quickly.
Get to the point but dont be brutal about it.
Relationship with officemates

a) Remember the following:
Maintain amicable relations with

officemates
Know the office chain and your place in
it.
Be considerate of people around you.
Stay away from office politics.
Never inquire about others salaries

Keep emotion about your work
Be honest and humble to admit mistake
Dont pass blames to others
Dont make the same mistake
Women should not expect men to open
office door or car for her in business
situation.

Should she arrive first at door with others
behind; she must not hesitate to open it.
If a man should rush out of his way to
open it, she should let him do it.
When a woman meets men in office, she
should not make a social event out of the
encounter.

She should limit conversation to
business matters.
It is acceptable to invite business
associate to lunch and expect him or her
to pay for his/her own meal.
Each must know the arrangement before
going out to eat.

If lunch is to the Companys advantage,
pay for the meal.
Superiors are not usually invited to social
functions by subordinates.
If the Boss has entertained you first, you
can invite him to reciprocate.

Secretaries are sometimes expected to
be with employers in business lunches or
dinners.
If invitation is beyond call of duty, she
cannot be compelled to accept.
Hard drinks are only for after-office hours.
Wines are acceptable

Accept occasional invitations from colleagues
to join them in eating out/ drinking sessions to
bond with each other.
If not invited but wish to join the group, ask
someone if they would not mind your company.
Avoid breaking confidentiality
Do not give out information that belongs to the
office or discuss matters of confidence.

Relationship between your company, your
superiors and co-workers are based on trust.
Avoid visits during work hours.
If you must entertain family members, do it at
the end of the day or during off-hours.
Respect the office for official business
directly related to your job.

Avoid gossip
Do not delude your self into thinking that
talking about others with co-workers will
make you close to them.
Thy will never trust you because since
you gossip about other people, you can
do the same to them.

Gossips are considered
untrustworthy.
Avoid personal calls
Constant phone chatter
can bother others.

Limit personal calls to
the most urgent.
Avoid personal
comments
Some compliments
inadvertently delivered
at the wrong time may
spark problems.

Dont be tactless, lack sensitivity
Better not make personal comments.
Avoid discussing personal problems
Keep personal problems at home.
If you want to talk about it with your coworkers, do it out side the office.
Avoid invading the privacy of others.

Respect other peoples
privacy by not eaves
dropping on their
conversations or reading
messages on their desks.

Avoid obscene language
Do not use foul language
Avoid slang language
There is no room for foul
language on the job.
If turns off co-workers
It will not speak well of the
company you represent

It also reflects on your breeding and back
ground.
Avoid public reprimands
Keep reprimands, criticisms and other
disciplinary comments in private.
Keeping reprimands private conveys
respect and regard to the person being
reprimanded.

Avoid office romance
It interferes with routine, embarrasses
others and can ruin a career.

It can interfere with your objectivity and
emotional health in the office.
Avoid shouting
Keep voice pleasantly modulated.
Use phone or intercom, do not shout
Respect co-workers who need to
concentrate on their job without having to
hear your voice

Avoid smoking
Consider the health
of non-smokers
Smoke outside or at
designated smoking area.
Dont do it on
companys time.
Get rid of the habit.

Avoid temper tantrums
Manage your temper
If you lose your temper,
apologize immediately.
If other people lose their
temper in front of you,
excuse your self and go
else where.

a) Remember the
following:
Avoid wasting time
If you have nothing to
do, assist others or
familiarize your self
with other aspects of
the business.

Avoid borrowing money or other things for
personal use.
A co-worker never wants to say no when
someone is in need.
This can destroy a good working
relationship.
Pay back immediately or replace the
office supply that was borrowed.
Social Graces In public

Few notice peoples good behaviour in
public places.
But when public courtesy is missing, we
notice.
Public courtesy is not about elaborate
public display of good manners.
Its how we interact successfully with
others while going about our business.

It is respecting community standards for
behaviour so that you can do what you
need to do with minimum disruption to
others and vice versa.
It is about making daily life as stress free
and pleasant as possible for everybody.
Personal space in public area

We need personal
environment.
space
in
shared
Public courtesy helps avoid conflict,

resolve differences quickly and contribute
to smooth and pleasant flow in the public
square.
Personal space in public area

Essential to public courtesy is friendly
attitude
that
understands
and
accommodates the fact that public space is
shared space.
Friendly disposition help figure out best
solution and move things alone.
The opposite attitude can turn that
momentary issue cause delay, frustration
and bad feelings which can ruin your day.
Standard Courtesies
Easiest way to show respect and
consideration,
Best way to overcome momentary
inconvenience or deception
Say Excuse Me when you:
Accidentally bump into someone
Wish to pass in front of someone who
Wishes to interrupt an ongoing
conversation.
Wish to have something repeated.
Standard Courtesies
After You the question of who goes first

through doors or narrow passage ways can
be confusing.
A man holds the door for women.
Let a person of authority or high social
status pass before you.
If you arrive at a door or passageway first,
offer to hold the door or give way saying
After You
Standard Courtesies
Without regard to
social status or
gender, this
gesture marks
courtesy, respect
and consideration
for others.
What you may do in specific

situations
Crowd
No need to play doorman and hold door
to give way to every single person in a
crowd.
Hold door for those nearest you or
behind you and then proceed forward.
Avoid excessive display of affection in
public

situations
Crowd
Avoid littering (Munting
basura, ibulsa mo na :
Makati sidewalks notice)
Dropping trash along the
way is unacceptable,
disrespectful to others.

situations
Women
Lot of discussion about whether men
should hold doors for women, but it
remains a nice thing to do.
If done in spirit of courtesy and
politeness, it will be appreciated.
Dont make elaborate show of it or add
condescending phrases like Ladies
First

situations
Women
If a woman holds the door for you, it is
best to say simply Thank You and
accept the gesture.
Elderly, infirm and

disabled.
Offer to let them
pass first
Offer to assist as
they may require
extra help.
What you may do in

specific situations
Revolving doors.
Go through revolving
door if you arrive first.
You actually help get
the door moving by
going first and help
the way for others.
What you may do in

specific situations
People with Packages
or bags
Offer to hold the door or
let them first.
Offer to hold a package or
assist while they pass
through the door.

situations
On sidewalks
When walking in groups, remember that
you do not own the sidewalks.
People walk at different speed, trying not
to crash into others or other objects.
This is not the time to daydream or let your
mind wander.
Do not walk more than 2 people, side by
side.

situations
On sidewalks
Allow those behind you to walk ahead, if
they wish to.
If you bump or jostle somebody, apologize
briefly or say Excuse me.
Dont follow someone too closely behind.
You risk stepping on someones head.
Resist urge to dart across moving traffic.

situations
On sidewalks
If late in crossing the street and the light is
about to change, pick up your pace.
Do not wander back and forth across
sidewalk.
If you want to get a better look at a window
or a tall building, move out of pedestrian
stream.

situations
On sidewalks
Do not stop suddenly on a crowded
sidewalk as those behind you will crash
into you.
If with a large group, do not advance in a
line across the sidewalk.
It will force others to try and detour around
you.
It is inconvenient to others.

situations
On sidewalks
If you see someone you know and want to
have a conversation, move aside.
Do not conduct conversation in middle of
the stream and pedestrian.
Dont check yourself out in mirrors of store
window and glass panels of buildings.
People who see you repeatedly doing this
will think you are excessively vain or self
obsessed.

situations
On sidewalks
Never spit.
It is unattractive and
unhygienic.
If a man and woman walk together along
sidewalks, the man stays on the curb.
When crossing the street the man takes
the side of the incoming vehicle.
What you may do in specific situations

IN THE BUS
Today, women stand and
hang on to handle bars just as men do.
Women keep feet firmly planted on the
floor to prevent from falling on others
If only one seat is available, men allow
women to have the seat.

IN THE BUS
If woman is accompanied by a man, she enters the
bus first.
Getting off, the man goes down first before the woman
and helps her step out by holding her arm or
supporting her elbow.
Men give seats to handicapped, elderly or pregnant
ladies.

ON THE ESCALATOR
Always occupy the right side of the moving
stairway if you are not in the rush.
Leave the left side free for those who are in a
hurry to stride through it.
If you are in a group of 2 or more, each of you
should occupy only one step in the escalator and
stand behind one another.
What you may do in

specific situations
ON THE ESCALATOR
Conversation should be
quiet in the escalator.
Keep children close to you.
Dont let them play on
escalators

ELEVATORS
Let passengers inside get off first
you enter.
before
Dont push your way in.

If with a small group or with only one person,
offer to let others enter first.
Dont hold exit.
Do not attract attention to yourself.

ELEVATORS
If with a large group, simply get off if you are
the closest to the door.
Once inside, move to the back to make room.
If you are closest to elevator button, offer to
push floor button for those farther away by
simply asking What floor would you like

ELEVATORS
If you are far from buttons, dont shove or reach
your way toward the button, but ask someone
closer to press the button for you, adding
Please.
If you arrive late for the elevator and find it
crowded, do not squeeze yourself in.
Wait for the next car.
What you may do in

situations
specific
ELEVATORS
If with children, do not allow them
push all buttons.
to
That will delay everybody and nobody will be

amused.
While inside, stand quietly and wait for your
door.
Dont stare at people.

ELEVATORS
Dont groom your self in any mirror.
If you see someone you know, say a quick hello
or exchange a brief pleasantry.
Longer conversations are better reserved for
later.
If you enter the elevator with a friend, wait until
you get off to continue the conversation.

ELEVATORS
Terminate mobile phone calls before boarding
elevator.
Lower volumes of voice and headphones.
Normal volume outside is very audible inside
small elevator space.
If you are near door of crowded elevator and it
stops before your door, step outside to let
others get off.

ELEVATORS
Once they have exited, step back inside.
Never smoke inside the elevator.
What you may do in

specific situations
CONCERTS, THEATERS,
OPERA HOUSES
On opening nights or gala
performances, occasion require
formal dress. Women must be
in a long gown, Filipino Terno;
the man should be in suits or
barongs.
What you may do in

specific situations
CONCERTS, THEATERS,
OPERA HOUSES
Otherwise semi formal clothes
will do. Women may use
cocktail dress or suits. Men
wear business pants and long
sleeved polo shirts with or
without a jacket or tie.

CONCERTS, THEATERS, OPERA
HOUSES
Arrive on time so as not to disturb the other
patrons during the entertainment.
If there is an usher at the theater, host should
hold out his/her tickets for the usher to see them
and direct them to their seats.
The host always let his/her guests walk ahead

HOUSES
When a couple is in the theater, the man should
take the aisle seat.
If two couples are attending some performances
together, one man should enter their row of
seats first, the women go in next and the other
man last.
Do not talk during the performance.

HOUSES
Remove your hat in consideration of the person
seated behind you.
Feet on the floor, not on the seat.
Do not throw objects at the audience or the
stage.
Cell phones should be turned off or put on silent
mode.

HOUSES
Remove crying or noisy children immediately.
Remove yourself when caught in a sneezing or
coughing bout.
Bring your trash with you when leaving.
Stand to honour the National Anthem, even if it
is not your countrys

HOUSES
Say excuse me when disturbing other peoples
spaces when going to or from you seat.
CONCERTS,
THEATERS, OPERA
HOUSES
Applaud at appropriate time.
At the Opera
At the end of an aria
After each curtain call
Upon the entrance and exit
of the conductor
CONCERTS, THEATERS,
OPERA HOUSES
At the Ballet
At the end of a scene

At the end of the ballet
Upon the entrance and exit
of the conductor

HOUSES
At the Symphony
Upon the entrance of the conductor and the soloist
When the conductor turns to the audience and vows
There should be no applause in between
movements of a symphony but only at the end
Take your cue from the conductor
CONCERTS, THEATERS, OPERA HOUSES

At the Theater
At the end of each act

At the end of the performance
However today, expressions of approval
during the performance are part of the
enjoyment.
Manners in Other Public Social Events

Due to lack of time, we end up taking meals
outside of home.
Politeness and respect must be also
extended to servers as if they are our host /
hostesses.

Fast Food Outlets
Stand in line and be conscious of the personal
space of the people around you.
Decide what you wan to have while in line so as
not to delay the order-taking process.
Keep your noise level down especially if you are
with a big group.

Fast Food Outlets
Ask for extra paper napkins if you are going to
use your hands to tackle sandwiches, chicken,
tacos etc.
Clean up after eating and throw waste in the
disposal bin.

Restaurants
When making a reservation, advice them how
many seats you need, if there are children who
require high seats, and what time you will be
there.
Call the restaurants if you are delayed or need to
cancel.
Inquire on the dress code and if they accept
credit cards.
Entering a Restaurant
The man walks ahead of the woman as they step
into the place. He directs her to their table.
Remove your hat inside, unless you have
religious or medical reasons for keeping it on.
If there is a waiter at the entrance to attend to
them, the man step back and allow the woman to
enter before him.
Allow the restaurant personnel to lead you to
your seats.
On arriving at the table, the waiter or the man
pulls out the chair for the woman and seats her.
When a group enters a restaurant and when one
of them sees people he/she knows but whom the
rest may not be familiar with, this person should
merely nod or briefly greet his/her acquaintances
while proceeding with the group to their table.
Should it be necessary to make introductions,
the man at the table must stand when presented
to women.
Women may remain seated when being
introduced to other women and to men.
Seating arrangements
The womans seat is determined by the view the
location provides.
She should be given the seat that allows her to
see and appreciate the view outside.
Otherwise, she should have the seat from where
she may look out into the main dining room of
the restaurant.
She should not be seated where passing people
or a swinging door may hit her or where she has
to face a wall.
Seating arrangements
When 2 couples eat out together, the women
take the wall seats, while the men occupy the
aisle seats.
The man should be seated facing the woman.
Where a younger pair is out with an older pair,
the older couple sits on the wall seats. When a
woman is in the company of 2 men, she should
be seated between them.
Ordering a meal
Men used to place the order for food.
Now, women may do the ordering themselves or
respond to the waiter when asked by them for their
food or drinks.
If the man is familiar with the restaurant and its
specialties, it is proper for him to recommend some
choices to the woman.
If both of them do not know the restaurant well, the
man should request the waiter to give suggestions as
to what the place offers best.
Ordering a meal
If you are buying the meal as Host, you should
order what you want.
If you are a Guest, you may want to follow your
Hosts lead ask what he/she recommends or if
he/she recommends or if he/she will be ordering
a first course.
Unless your Host insists, it is better not to order
the most expensive item on the menu.
Ordering a meal
On a date, the woman should avoid ordering
costly items on the menuunless she is sure he
can afford it and does not mind spending that
much.
If a guest, refrain from complaining about the
service or the dcor or anything else about the
restaurant. Your Host may take this as
questioning his choice or taste.
Avoid asking for a doggy bag to take home
leftover food.
Ordering a meal
Do not use toothpicks at the table in any setting,
place or culture.
Avoid grooming yourself at the dinning table
except for a swift application of lipstick for the
women.
The proper way to call a waiter to your table is
catch his eye and make a signal such as raising
your hand for him or her to come over.
Ordering a meal
If you make eye contact with the waiter, quietly
calling out waiter or waitress is also
acceptable.
If your waiter is too far away to see or hear you,
request some other accessible waiter to bid him
or her for you.
Dont attract unnecessary attention to yourself by
clapping your hands, whistling or calling pssst
for your waiter. These are rude habits.
Settling the bills

The Host begins to settle the account with the
restaurant.
Call the waiter and ask him/her for the bill.
A simple statement check please will do.
If the waiter is at a distance, you can make a
small card gesture designating the bill.
The bill usually comes face down on a small
plate or tray.
Settling the bills

The host looks it over, scanning quickly for any
errors.
Should everything be in order, the Host returns
the bill with the payment.
If there is a mistake, raise it over quietly to the
waiters attention.
Dont make a scene.
Settling the bills

If management is difficult, just pay the check and
never patronize the establishment again.
If you are paying by credit card, hand your card
to the waiter along with the check. The waiter will
process your account and will return for your
signature to seal the transaction.
When lady pays the bill

Sometimes the woman in business world
entertains clients and pays the bill.
She should arrange to have the bill paid for, after
the meal, away from the table.
It is best for her to give the credit card discreetly
to the maitre d hotel and pay for it where the
Guest will not see the transaction.
When lady pays the bill

She can excuse herself with the pretext that she
is going to the restroom and sign for it very
quickly.
Upon returning, all she has to say is
It has all been taken cared of. Thank you for joining
me for lunch.
Tipping
Most restaurants include a 10% to 15% service
charge in your check.
If such is the case, you may have a small
amount for the waiter if he/her service deserve it.
If service charge isnt added to your check, 10%
of the total bill is usually a fair amount of the tip.
Tipping
If your check informs you to please pay at the
counter leave your tip on the table, collect your
belonging and proceeds to pay for your meal.
If you do not have loose change, pay the cashier
first, then return to your table as soon as you can
leave some money for your waiter.
You may also tip through your credit card. Fill in
the space for tip with the amount you want to
leave for your waiter.
Tipping
If your check informs you to please pay at the
counter leave your tip on the table, collect your
belonging and proceeds to pay for your meal.
If you do not have loose change, pay the cashier
first, then return to your table as soon as you can
leave some money for your waiter.
You may also tip through your credit card. Fill in
the space for tip with the amount you want to
leave for your waiter.
Tipping
You can add this to the total of your bill and encircle the
amount foe added security.
Other restaurant courtesies

If a man should pass a table and stop to talk to
another man seated there, that man may remain
in his chair.
However, if the exchange is to extend for a
longer period, the one standing should inquire if
he may join the table.

He requests the waiter to bring him a chair, if
there is none.
Then formal introductions with the rest of the
seated company should be done. All me should
stand when presented.
In case of a woman stopping to chat with
another, the man with seated woman (if there is
one) should stand up and acknowledge the
standing woman.

If the woman carries on the conversation for
extended period, the woman who walked up the
table should be courteous enough to tell the man
to sit down and go on with his meal.
A polite woman would limit her chatting and allow
the couple enough time to enjoy their meal
alone.

At the end of the meal, a woman may quickly
powder her nose or re-touch her lipstick.
Dont take a long time to fix your appearance in
public.
Neither woman nor man should comb or brush
their hair in the restaurant or in other place.
DATING ETIQUETTE
It is still the man who is expected to initiate a
date. A woman can also ask a man out, but man
who waits for a woman to ask will be waiting for
a long time.
Dating is a game of charm and some of the old
ways still have the power to win and please.
DATING ETIQUETTE
Some rules on dating:
Be polite
Address each other by name
Ask for each others preference.
Do not wait for the last minute to set a date.
Do not wait for the last minute to accept or reject a
date
DATING ETIQUETTE
Inform your date what you intend to do so
your date can dress appropriately.
Make sure your date want to do what you
have planned.
DATING ETIQUETTE
Being overly controlling about plans is a turn
off.
While different occasions call for different style of
dress, remember that what you dont show is often
more powerful than what you show.
An overly revealing or suggestive dress can ruin
the suspense.
DATING ETIQUETTE
off.
Meeting parents show you are serious and
honourable with your intentions.
Do not leave your date awkwardly alone

with your parents for the first meeting.
Inform parents where you will be going.
DATING ETIQUETTE
off.
Observed curfew, if there is any.
Man holds doors.
Women should graciously accept gesture.
Limit alcoholic intake.
While drinks can help relax conversation, too much
can ruin date
DATING ETIQUETTE
off.
If driving, do not drink
Be curious about your date.
Do not ramble about yourself.
Ask questions and your date will ask questions too.
DATING ETIQUETTE
off.
Avoid certain awkward topics like past dates and
romances, financial matters, gossip, politics or
religion.
Dont show off; drop names or brag about jobs,
accomplishments, etc.
If the date involves going to a social

gathering, stick by your date.
DATING ETIQUETTE
off.
You leave with the person you came with.
Dont leave your date to fend for himself or herself
while you entertain yourself with friends.
Respect personal space.
Refrain from too much touching at least until you get
signals that it is ask.
DATING ETIQUETTE
Who Pays
The person who asks or invites pays.
Most men will find that if they dont offer to pay
for a date, there will be little chance of second
date.
Most women are only too happy to be treated to
a nice dinner and conversation.
Women, who want to pay their own, will usually
make this known.
DATING ETIQUETTE
Who Pays
If this is the case, the man should graciously
accept the offer rather than make a fuss about
payment.
It is alright for a woman to pay, especially if it is
a sequential date.
If a woman insists too strongly in paying her own
way, she may cause embarrassment to the man.
An embarrassment kills the magic and thrill of a
date.
Balls, Dances Proms

A man must dance with his hostess, and must
dance his first and last dance with the woman he
brought to the party.
However, in a dinner dance, the mans first dance
is with woman seated beside him.
At a prom, the couple who arrived together stay
together the whole night.
References
Bernardo Conchitina, S, The Compleat Filipino,
Rogen Publishing Co., Quezon City
Powers, John Robert, Social Skills, 2006
F.D. Oblena, Experience from 32 years of service
Lott, James E., Practical Protocol, A Guide to
International Courtesies
Gulf Publishing Co., Houston
Radlavic, Monte., Etiquette and Protocol, 1957
POSTURE
Definition
All body positions assumed in daily
activities walking, standing, sitting.
Graceful of form
Affects health
Reveals attitude
Definition
All body positions assumed in daily activities
walking, standing, sitting.
Changes your appearance
Indicate self-esteem and self-assurance
Shows how healthy one is physically and
mentally
Good Posture
Creates favorable
impression
Makes one look more
impressive
Proclaims feeling of poise,
control and self
assurance.
Bad Posture
Dropping, lax posture
suggests
sluggishness, poor
muscle tone.
Cause strains and
stress to muscles and
body structure
Bad Posture
Gives unnecessary aches
and pains in any part of
the body.
Spoil appearance by
distorting normal shape,
deforming shoulders, and
curving spines.
How to Stand Correctly

Body alignment achieved
by :
Stand with back to a wall
Feet slightly apart
Place heels about 3 inches
from the wall
How to Stand Correctly

Body alignment achieved
by :
Lean back
If back, head and shoulders all
touch the wall when you lean
backwards, then your body is
straight the way it should be.
Some arm and hand

positions while
standing up.
Folded Arms
keep fingers pointed up
as you fold arms across
your waist with hands
resting on opposite upper
arms.
This is sign of
insecurity
This is much
better
Hand Positions
Cupped Hands
Lotus Position
Clasped Hands
Lace Position
How to walk properly
Assume the proper standing

position.
Feet in straight line, one or

two inches apart
Length of stride depends on

your height and length of your
legs.
One foot is average stride for women.

With longer legs, take smaller strides.
With shorter legs, take long strides.
To check walking pattern walk barefoot in wet

sand, and study your foot prints.
At each step, heels hits the ground first before

body weight rolls forward along to the ball of
the foot behind the big toe.
Push off for the next step.

Walk on 2 imaginary lines instead of only on
one.
Let arms brush slightly on the sides
Keep legs passing close together.
Move arms alternately and at opposite
directions; when the left leg steps, the right
arm extends.
Glide smoothly as you walk.

Avoid exaggerated left to right hip movement
not attractive sexy walks, more as attention
getter and distracting rather than graceful.
Traditional practice of balancing a book on the
head is the best way to put body into proper
alignment.
How to sit Correctly

Approach chair closely
enough to touch the edge
of seat of the chair.
Turn around and allow
back of one leg touch the
chair.

With straight body, bend at the hip and knee
joints to lower yourself onto the chair.
No need to tuck shirt.
If shirt has pleats, no need to pleat each pleat
when getting ready to sit.
Derriere on the front part of the chair first.

Then use the hands to
gently lift yourself into the
chair so that the back rest
braces your back.
Some leg positions

while sitting.
Original Leg Position
With one foot in front
and the other foot
slightly slanted behind
the front foot.
Some leg positions

while sitting.
Double L Position
so called because
from a side view the
torso and upper legs
form an L and so do
the lower legs and feet
from the second L.
Some leg positions

while sitting.
Cross S Position
When you cross your
legs at the knees, kept
your ankles close
together.
Some leg positions while

sitting.
Semi S Position
is done by crossing
the legs at the ankle
and sweeping them to
the side. The position
looks like a halfopened S
Sitting positions for men

Sitting among men add
character and poise to
appearance.
Men may cross their legs in
any one of these positions

De Cuatro
literally means a number 4;
not offensive in our culture.
Offensive in Middle East and Thailand where it
is rude to show and point it at another person.
Dont slouch at sitting in this position as it
gives rough and rugged looks.
De Cuatro

Continental
Very much acceptable
More dignified in many parts of the world.
In our culture, is considered effeminate
Continental
Color of Pants, Socks And Shoes

Pants, socks, and shoes must be of the same
color.
In business world most acceptable colors of
socks are black, brown and navy blue.
Never use white socks for business attire.
References
Bernardo, Conchitina Sevilla
The Complete Filipino
THANK YOU
Powerpoint Slide Show by:
rrmarcelino@gmail.com

Etiquette and Social Graces Guide

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Description:

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Etiquette and Social Graces Guide

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

ETIQUETTE AND SOCIAL GRACES

Ambassador Fortunato D. Oblena

WHAT IS SOCIAL GRACE?

Ex. Yao Ming

B. SHAKE HANDS WITH FIRM

C. MAKE EYE CONTACT

C. MAKE EYE CONTACT

E. REPEAT THEIR NAMES OR TITLES

a. A man should not address a woman by her

Say something about the person being

When there is age difference, it is polite to

In formal or business setting use the title of

In large groups keep introduction simple

After introduction be sure that the

A. WHEN YOU ARE DOING THE

A. WHEN YOU ARE DOING THE

You introduce people to them.

"Secretary Cruz, this is Mr. Garcia"

"Ms. Cruz, this is Carlos Dizon"

A. WHEN YOU ARE DOING THE

A. WHEN YOU ARE DOING THE

A. WHEN YOU ARE DOING THE INTRODUCTION

b) WHEN YOU ARE BEING

b) WHEN YOU ARE BEING

bow slightly to women unless they offer to

This applies to women executives as well.

b) WHEN YOU ARE BEING

b) WHEN YOU ARE BEING

c) WHEN YOU ARE INTRODUCING

WHEN YOU ARE INTRODUCING YOURSELF

d) WHEN TO JOIN A GROUP

People standing very close to each

d) WHEN TO JOIN A GROUP

d) WHEN TO JOIN A GROUP

AVOID HANDSHAKE THAT :

THE RULES IN HANDSHAKING

THE RULES IN HANDSHAKING

THE RULES IN HANDSHAKING

THE RULES IN HANDSHAKING

THE RULES IN HANDSHAKING

Card serves many purposes

Card serves many purposes

Card serves many purposes

Card serves many purposes

Do not shove it at the recipient; rather

Card serves many purposes

GIVING A CARD TO A JAPANESE

OFFERING YOUR CALLING CARD TO A

USE BOTH HANDS, USING

BE SURE THAT THE NAME

BOW SLIGHTLY AS YOU

LOOK AT THE CARD, AND DO

A good conversationalist should:

i) Be aware of your reactions and facial

Talking long about your self and your

Two types of questions:

a) Common questions about general Subjects.

Some ways to start a conversation with

Some ways to start a conversation with strangers

Some ways to start a conversation with

Two types of questions:

Two types of questions: